Not everyone is in an area with that many women signed up to the site.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Not everyone is in an area with that many women signed up to the site.
jamesinclair
Banned
Seriously, in some cities you would have messages every girl within a five year age range in under a week
So at least where I live, that would require messaging every 20-29 year old woman on the site about every 2 days.
Yeah I don't think this really makes sense. Unless you live in NYC, LA or Chicago there are not nearly enough women to do this. I use OKCupid as a supplement to real life so I will maybe send two messages every couple of days. Granted I have only been on the website for a month and a half or so and haven't had a date from it yet but I get responses to my messages and almost have one lined up.
Power Glove
Member
This just happened to me too. I texted a girl 3080 times since september 9th and only went out with her for two weekends because of the long distance between us. We ran out of stuff to talk about after this date we just had over the weekend and got bored. So tip for the rest of you guys; limit texting as much as possible and try to have a voice conversation instead.
johnny_park
Member
Did you count every text you sent her?
Power Glove
Member
On android phones there's a message counter.
Quick update on here. Still "seeing" that girl that I don't have much in common with.
I was over at her house for the weekend this weekend, and we played Halo and some bedroom fun. Hung out, went to chinese, just had an all around laidback time.
I still don't know what I feel for her though. She says she's starting to fall for me, but I can't ever think for the life of me why.
WTF.
I was over at her house for the weekend this weekend, and we played Halo and some bedroom fun. Hung out, went to chinese, just had an all around laidback time.
I still don't know what I feel for her though. She says she's starting to fall for me, but I can't ever think for the life of me why.
WTF.
At some point you're always going to run out things to say and have to start making new conversation whether you are texting or calling. Seems like y'all might not have been that compatible in the first place. I'd imagine that long distance might make this point occur sooner since you can't just hang out and shoot the shit but you will always reach this point in a relationship.
I agree with what Pastry said. I rushed into it and kept up the texting because I believe that if you find the right girl, you will always be able to come up with new conversations and wont burn out. If you do burn out, then you weren't right in the first place.
Train of Midnight
Banned
Just made an OKC a few weeks ago. I've met up with one woman, but chose not to go farther down that path. Just wasn't feeling it.
Does anyone else worry that they're so selective that no one can live up to their expectations and you're just going to end up sad and alone? I haven't quite gotten there yet, but it's always in the back of my mind.
Does anyone else worry that they're so selective that no one can live up to their expectations and you're just going to end up sad and alone? I haven't quite gotten there yet, but it's always in the back of my mind.
toxicgonzo
Taxes?! Isn't this the line for Metallica?
Do you actually find 10 women a day worth messaging? Personally, I don't and I live in a major city. I only message the women that I think are a good fit, which isn't many.
Perspicacity
Banned
Well I messaged back and forth with the gal I mentioned yesterday. She slipped into conversation this morning that she had no thanksgiving (Canada) plans at all so I asked her to dinner for tonight but I guess it was too soon as it seems to have scared her off. Oh well.
My relationship has been a roller coaster from the girl that started well roughly 3 months ago, but 2 months of official dating.
At first I was meh about her, but as time has gone on I've started to let my guard down for her. I've never been in love, but this weekend was the first one we didn't spend time together.(weekends are the only time we see each other due to our schedules and living an hour away from each other)
After all the drama between us, and then this weekend, I think I've come to the conclusion I'm in love with her. Which is great, but scary as fuck. I didn't think a weekend apart would matter, but I feel like a panzy ass girl because I miss her more than I think I should. It's driving me nuts, but I don't want to not give her her space when she wants it to do a solo weekend with her best friend.
Up until now she's said and done things that made me feel like she feels way more strongly about me than I do her. However, now that I feel this way about her, and trying to be only sending a text here and there this weekend because she still wanted to text, just has made me feel terrified of the thought of what if she were to break it off with me or is she now getting sick of me.
I'm basically going bat shit insane, because I'm over analyzing and can't tell my mind to fuck off and relax. The worst part about it all is about 3 weeks ago we had broken up for about a hour due to my fucked upness with feelings and commitment issues, so now I feel if I spring it on her that I'm in love when I see her next, then it'll come off wrong or I'll get rejected.
Things were so much simpler when all I had to do was get rejected by my 2034820 messages on okc.
3000 texts?!? The girl I've been seeing from the site have exchanged probably 1500 texts over a 6-7 week span and I thought that was a lot.
Just a quick (and perhaps final for this thread) update on my situation. We decided to disable our accounts about 2 weeks ago, and made our relationship official this weekend. Grabbed some drinks with her friends, fooled around, and saw Looper the next day. All in all a very good weekend.
Just a quick (and perhaps final for this thread) update on my situation. We decided to disable our accounts about 2 weeks ago, and made our relationship official this weekend. Grabbed some drinks with her friends, fooled around, and saw Looper the next day. All in all a very good weekend.
I live in London there are a lot of options. Even if I do have to cast a wider net than what I might expect.What's everyone's response rate like. Mine is about 10%. :-(
Joel Was Right
Member
The heck does this even mean?
ConradCervantes
Banned
The heck does this even mean?
She a big 'un.
SlipperySlope
Banned
The heck does this even mean?
1) at least she's being honest.
2) if you're not into fat chicks, run.
GrayFoxPL
Member
The heck does this even mean?
Big gurl.
Joel Was Right
Member
Stuff like that just annoys me. Just say you're big, or bigger than average. "Full figured" doesn't even make sense. It's like those profiles that say they are "very curvaceous", which in reality means in her eyes 'big'.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Well the options have "Fat" and then a lot of vague things like curvy, full figured, a little extra, etc. So most people will choose anything but "fat" because they don't want to own that term due to years of being shamed for it.
Edit: Looking again, they don't even have "fat" anymore, so all you get are weasel words and phrases about weight. Fuck that. Let people own and love their body, website.
electricshake
Member
You guys have just confirmed my suspicions and made me glad I put 'average' and not 'curvy'.
The heck does this even mean?
Same shit as, Husky, Big boned, and other shit.
Hmmm random question. Occasionally I will get an email saying that so and so is checking me out. Are these sent even if you view anonymously? I swear that one of the girls that I first got this about never showed up on my visitors list (might be making this up, can't remember) but it seems like that would defeat the purpose of anonymous viewing.
PumpkinPie
Banned
I'm meeting up with a cutie who added me to Facebook on Monday can't wait. We've been getting on so well, but I am still very nervous about meeting, I've had several meetups which went seriously wrong. I've been completely open and honest to her about what to expect from me and she still seems immensely keen on me, so I'm hoping it goes well.
can't wait. We've been getting on so well, but I am still very nervous about meeting, I've had several meetups which went seriously wrong. I've been completely open and honest to her about what to expect from me and she still seems immensely keen on me, so I'm hoping it goes well.FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
Not all of us have those choices. I've run out of locals. Currently messaging people 300+ miles away. Feels bad.
10% seems right.
My relationship has been a roller coaster from the girl that started well roughly 3 months ago, but 2 months of official dating.
At first I was meh about her, but as time has gone on I've started to let my guard down for her. I've never been in love, but this weekend was the first one we didn't spend time together.(weekends are the only time we see each other due to our schedules and living an hour away from each other)
After all the drama between us, and then this weekend, I think I've come to the conclusion I'm in love with her. Which is great, but scary as fuck. I didn't think a weekend apart would matter, but I feel like a panzy ass girl because I miss her more than I think I should. It's driving me nuts, but I don't want to not give her her space when she wants it to do a solo weekend with her best friend.
Up until now she's said and done things that made me feel like she feels way more strongly about me than I do her. However, now that I feel this way about her, and trying to be only sending a text here and there this weekend because she still wanted to text, just has made me feel terrified of the thought of what if she were to break it off with me or is she now getting sick of me.
I'm basically going bat shit insane, because I'm over analyzing and can't tell my mind to fuck off and relax. The worst part about it all is about 3 weeks ago we had broken up for about a hour due to my fucked feel with feelings and commitment issues, so now I feel if I spring it on her that I'm in love when I see her next, then it'll come off wrong or I'll get rejected.
Things were so much simpler when all I had to do was get rejected by my 2034820 messages on okc.
Just tell her you love her man. Like you are really falling hard after everything you've both been through. That she's the only one you've started having these feelings for, and you want to be more into her than you have been before.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
So I actually have girls messaging me now, but my apathy is so strong I can't even reply. =/ Dunno whats wrong with me.
Are they attractive girls? If they are and you're still apathetic what do you have to lose?
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
They are, I just have no will to respond.
Do you have any desire to date right now or are you happy being single? If you're happy being single then by all means don't respond but otherwise I don't see why you wouldn't. Even if you're in a funk sometimes you just have to force yourself to do things, you never know unless you try. A lot of guys on OKCupid would love to be in your position.
Perspicacity
Banned
Just as a follow up to this, I messaged this gal once more just because I figured there was nothing else to lose. She responded pretty quickly saying she definitely wanted to meet, but had just been swamped with work. Gonna grab coffee and a walk tomorrow or Thursday depending on my work/her school. (This doesn't play to my usual strength of go to bar + sit and talk/drink for hours, but I think I can work it).
Today I learned: sometimes it doesn't hurt to be persistent.
demosthenes
Member
Jesus christ.
Congrats on the date. Is your chair visible in the photos? I think I would probably mention something but I dunno.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
Currently seeing someone I met at a Nas concert, had a good first date, slept with her and she's been showering me with compliments since then. I'm slightly worried as things are going too fast
Anyway, I sent a girl this msg on OKC, and got a weird response, and I have no idea how to reply lol.
"Who am I"??!
Anyway, I sent a girl this msg on OKC, and got a weird response, and I have no idea how to reply lol.
"Who am I"??!
Perspicacity
Banned
"I'm Batman"
Currently seeing someone I met at a Nas concert, had a good first date, slept with her and she's been showering me with compliments since then. I'm slightly worried as things are going too fast
Anyway, I sent a girl this msg on OKC, and got a weird response, and I have no idea how to reply lol.
"Who am I"??!
Jackie Chan, of course...
Perspicacity
Banned
But seriously, when she asks an open ended question like that then she's giving you free reign to be creative in your response. Treat it similar to your "About Me", it can just be shorter and tailored more to what you think she would respond well to.
I'd be pretty tepid about her given that match percentage though.
I'd be pretty tepid about her given that match percentage though.
The goddamn batman.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
I think I will use this one haha
I only really messaged her because I liked the look of her, totally forgetting about the percentages..
I never take too much notice on the percentage. I don't like a machine deciding whether I am compatible with someone.
Yeah I mentioned it in my profile and visible in the pictures as well. I think I should be okay? There's a video of me aswell that's relevant in that it's about me done by a clothing company. Sort of shows who I am and at physio as well as outside of physio. So there shouldn't be any big surprises. But, I guess I still feel a little bit insecure!
Oh then I think you'll be fine! And I think I saw that video of you, you posted it here on GAF right? It was really cool stuff. Good luck!
Perspicacity
Banned
Well that date was very pretty and very boring. I'd likely see her once more if she wants but not gonna pursue this one at all.
Perspicacity
Banned
So how did this go?
That's probably the best way of telling someone... I mean if it's a deal breaker she's giving you an easy out rather than springing it on you in the middle of a date. It'd likely be a no-go for me, but I think it's possible to avoid getting it if you just don't mess around during outbreaks and always use condoms.
Quick Google reveal: http://www.herpes-coldsores.com/herpes_prevention_tips.htm#herpes_relationship
Went well man! No lull in conversation we were laughing a lot, smiling, open body language. Smart person for sure which was awesome. I just feel that a couple times I might've accidentally slipped a few things that might make me seem more materialistic (?)/brag(?). Her Grandma has a restaurant and we were saying with that type of business you have to be present no matter what. I related and said that my Dad as a Pilot and having free time has had side projects/businesses and he used to have a restaurant years ago that didn't do too well & a dealership. I was just casually mentioning it but soon as I said that I thought "Faaaaaaaahhhhkkk!" As that might seem totally braggish even if I didn't mean it :| Then another negative, I forgot to ask if she has any Brothers/Sisters but that was just because the conversation kept on flowing really well and we/I must've gotten sidetracked somehow. As for positives, had coffee & chatted for 2hrs which flew by, definitely my type etc. Plus, my friend (girl) that was there to pick me up was ~20-30min early (I didn't see her) and she said it definitely looked like she was having a good time and bet me I would have an email in 3days...
So for the next step...how long do I wait before sending another message? I'm not doing the stereotypical 3days, seems too cliche. Opinions?
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