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[Biff]

Nothing specific, just it went like this:

Me:
Hey you seem fun to talk to, but it's easier for me to talk over texts than to keep checking this website. Would you mind doing that instead?

Her: NO REPLY FOR THREE DAYS

Me:
I take it you despise texting then? lol.

Her:
I've just been super busy that's all. Can we just keep talking on here until my midterms are done XD seriously they end Thursday. Until then because if I get your # I'd prob love texting u and stop studying. Which would be bad.

Real talk between bruhs: If she's really into you, she would not wait three days to get back to you. Hit by a car, arrested, deported... If she's into you even that shit wouldn't stop her from getting back to you in a timely manner.

With online dating, the likely reason is she went after another guy who she was interested in, didn't work out, so she went down her "list" to the next guy in line.

It's not a bad thing. And I'm not saying it can't work between you two. Just don't get played, breh.

 

[jamesinclair]

Real talk between bruhs: If she's really into you, she would not wait three days to get back to you. Hit by a car, arrested, deported... If she's into you even that shit wouldn't stop her from getting back to you in a timely manner.

With online dating, the likely reason is she went after another guy who she was interested in, didn't work out, so she went down her "list" to the next guy in line.

It's not a bad thing. And I'm not saying it can't work between you two. Just don't get played, breh.

No, its a legit excuse. These past two weeks are midterm weeks in these here parts.

Today we did 30+ messages back and forth.

 

[Feep]

Got an OKC date, went on it, lasted for ten hours (!) till 3:30 AM, thought it went amazing.

Girl is suddenly "too busy" to go on second date. Feels bad, man.

 

[Mackenzie 92]

Real talk between bruhs: If she's really into you, she would not wait three days to get back to you. Hit by a car, arrested, deported... If she's into you even that shit wouldn't stop her from getting back to you in a timely manner.

With online dating, the likely reason is she went after another guy who she was interested in, didn't work out, so she went down her "list" to the next guy in line.

It's not a bad thing. And I'm not saying it can't work between you two. Just don't get played, breh.

Yeah, it sounds pretty legit. People get busy in life, it's not uncommon. 3 days is nothing.

 

[Buckethead]

Got an OKC date, went on it, lasted for ten hours (!) till 3:30 AM, thought it went amazing.

Girl is suddenly "too busy" to go on second date. Feels bad, man.

Did you kiss her?

 

[Tess3ract]

Got an OKC date, went on it, lasted for ten hours (!) till 3:30 AM, thought it went amazing.

Girl is suddenly "too busy" to go on second date. Feels bad, man.

Same here (length of time), but she did tell me before the date started that would be the case. I went on a second date with her (kayaking) before she was like "i just want a cuddle buddy"

Later on she adds me to fb and I realize that she recently was engaged.

 

[Feep]

Did you kiss her?

Yup.

 

[vicissitudes]

Why do people think longer date = better? If the date is longer than 2-3 hours and you don't make a move it's basically a death sentence.

 

[Tess3ract]

my date was a few hours (bowling and batman) and it ended up with us making out in the car then in the rain while I was retarded and let my battery die. ymmv

 

[Feep]

Why do people think longer date = better? If the date is longer than 2-3 hours and you don't make a move it's basically a death sentence.

It was long *and* good. I gave her several easy outs if she wanted to call it off ("you want to call it a night?" "no, I'm starving, let's get something to eat"), but none were ever taken.

Sigh.

 

[DrBo42]

10 hour date? Damn, Feep.

 

[Tess3ract]

My friend also says she doesn't even bother if a guy can't entertain her for 6-9 hours on a date

 

[shintoki]

My friend also says she doesn't even bother if a guy can't entertain her for 6-9 hours on a date

Well is she still single?

 

[Tess3ract]

Well is she still single?

Right now? Yeah because her demands are way too fucking high and if I told her to lower her standards she'd get really upset, lol

 

[NateDrake]

My friend also says she doesn't even bother if a guy can't entertain her for 6-9 hours on a date

I've had a few dates last that long, but when it comes time for the second date I'm usually bored with the girl.

 

[Amory]

So I found a girl im really into, been out with her twice and ill see her again on Thursday night. Thinking of going for the goodnight kiss this time but im afraid it'll backfire. What say you, gaf? I mean she'll have been out with me 3 times...she's gotta be interested right?

I never worry about this stuff...but I like this one a lot

 

[DrBo42]

I'm surprised it hasn't happened already. Get it done.

 

[NateDrake]

So I found a girl im really into, been out with her twice and ill see her again on Thursday night. Thinking of going for the goodnight kiss this time but im afraid it'll backfire. What say you, gaf? I mean she'll have been out with me 3 times...she's gotta be interested right?

I never worry about this stuff...but I like this one a lot

Go for it.

 

[Amory]

I mean im thinking if she won't kiss me at that point she probably never will, so there's not much point in waiting. Still, damn my lack of confidence.

 

[UFRA]

I mean im thinking if she won't kiss me at that point she probably never will, so there's not much point in waiting. Still, damn my lack of confidence.

Don't think that way. Some girls really like to take it slowwwwwwwwwwww.

But by all means, go for it man! Observe her signals too. Does she look at your lips when you're standing close together? Stalling for time when she could just hop in her car and leave? etc..

If she doesn't want it, don't just bail out on her though...she could just take a while to get comfortable. I'm sure you'll do fine.

 

[A.E Suggs]

So I tried it just because of this topic and so far it sucks that in my area I can't really find anyone i'm interested in gay or otherwise. However people keep trying to talk to me so if I don't see results in about another week i'm closing up shop.

 

[dehydratedbabies]

How many times have you guys been rated highly? Curiosity about the eight ratings I've gotten since August finally convinced me to pay the $10 for a month of A-list. Sadly only two of them have been from girls that I consider attractive, the others all have "curvy" listed as their body type, and while I suspect that most girls don't bother rating anyone I wonder what the norm is.

 

[Bleepey]

A girl complained about messages from guys with PUA forums. Does it make me a tool to send her this message

Why do you think it's a bad thing for a guy to learn how to write better messages? I have heard women lament about the quality of messages they receive (and men lament about the lack of messages they receive), what's wrong with a guy trying to make better profiles, write better messages and read books like the Game. At the end of the day, it's drop-dead gorgeous girls like you that benefit when guys learn to show off their best attributes, develop the confidence to approach attractive girls like you so that you can still be ladylike and not make the first move, and finally learn how to catch a girl like yours eyes with something other than their topless photos. You will never hear a guy judge a woman for carrying a cookbook. If i saw a woman carrying a book on sandwich recipes I'd wanna be their guinea pig not complain about them not having an innate ability to be Delia Smith in the kitchen. But who am i kidding you probably won't read this message let alone reply back.

 

[Perspicacity]

A girl complained about messages from guys with PUA forums. Does it make me a tool to send her this message

Yeah you're a tool.

To elaborate a bit - you aren't a tool for the sentiment you're trying to express, but rather the shitty way you've chosen to package the message.

 

[Charmicarmicat]

So I posted here a couple of months back a few times, haven't been in here since though because... I met someone! On POF though. Literally had no luck for ages when messaging people, then the day before I was going to close my account I received a message, we exchanged a few messages, then met up and went to Camden for our first date, and were so comfortable with each other from the get-go, it was so awesome.

I know a lot of guys here get down when they get no replies, I was one of them, so just keep at it and good things will come your way!

 

[jamesinclair]

So I posted here a couple of months back a few times, haven't been in here since though because... I met someone! On POF though. Literally had no luck for ages when messaging people, then the day before I was going to close my account I received a message, we exchanged a few messages, then met up and went to Camden for our first date, and were so comfortable with each other from the get-go, it was so awesome.

I know a lot of guys here get down when they get no replies, I was one of them, so just keep at it and good things will come your way!

Hm, other guy on here had his successful first date in Bakersfield.

Im sensing a pattern here....

 

[dralla]

hmm a girl I was talking to a couple of months ago just reactivated her profile after it was gone for a long time. Thinking I'm gonna have to re-message her!

 

[PumpkinPie]

Well, I fucked up my amazing thing that I had going. She told me she found it hard to cope with my insecurity and said she needs a few days alone to think about what she wants. She says we want different things. She hasn't removed me as her boyfriend on Facebook yet, but I'm not hopeful of a happy ending.

Probably the nicest girl I've ever met. Fuck my life.

 

[beanman25]

Got a reply from a girl who said she would like to go on a bike ride with me soon. Pretty exciting to hear if it pans out!

 

[Ashhong]

Well, I fucked up my amazing thing that I had going. She told me she found it hard to cope with my insecurity and said she needs a few days alone to think about what she wants. She says we want different things. She hasn't removed me as her boyfriend on Facebook yet, but I'm not hopeful of a happy ending.

Probably the nicest girl I've ever met. Fuck my life.

Oh man, sorry to hear that. I remember how happy you were after the date. If you dont mind sharing, what insecurities? You guys talked for a few months online before meeting didn't you? Why do these insecurities suddenly bother her now?

 

[PumpkinPie]

Oh man, sorry to hear that. I remember how happy you were after the date. If you dont mind sharing, what insecurities? You guys talked for a few months online before meeting didn't you? Why do these insecurities suddenly bother her now?

I honestly don't know what happened... I mentioned to her that I was optimistic about the future and she suddenly got all weird saying she doesn't know if we want the same things from this relationship. I asked her what was bothering her and she said she finds it hard to be with someone who is insecure as she expects me know that she's with me for a reason and should have no need to worry about myself. I told her I'd stop with the self-deprecating stuff and try to change now that she'd brought it to my attention but she just said she wants to be left alone for a few days...

It just came out of nowhere. We had an amazing night last night and we were great this morning, then all of a sudden tonight this came up. I want to give her more credit than this, but she only broke up with her ex of 2 years a few weeks ago, and in the back of my mind I was worried she wasn't ready to date, but she told me she was ready to move on. She said she thought she'd be with her ex forever, so I asked her if 'we' were a long-term thing and all of a sudden she said she can't commit to the future.

I feel so powerless. She didn't reply to my texts so I just have to wait to see what she decides. I honestly can't see how this can turn out well now, and I can't even do anything about it. I've told her I hope we can work it out and that I want to be with her, I'm not sure what else to do


EDIT: I forgot to answer your question =/ I just have general low self-esteem and a dislike for myself. I explained to her that it fuels itself; I have no confidence in myself because I have no-one at all in my life, and I can't open up to let people in because I have no confidence.

 

[bjb]

I honestly don't know what happened... I mentioned to her that I was optimistic about the future and she suddenly got all weird saying she doesn't know if we want the same things from this relationship. I asked her what was bothering her and she said she finds it hard to be with someone who is insecure as she expects me know that she's with me for a reason and should have no need to worry about myself. I told her I'd stop with the self-deprecating stuff and try to change now that she'd brought it to my attention but she just said she wants to be left alone for a few days...

It just came out of nowhere. We had an amazing night last night and we were great this morning, then all of a sudden tonight this came up. I want to give her more credit than this, but she only broke up with her ex of 2 years a few weeks ago, and in the back of my mind I was worried she wasn't ready to date, but she told me she was ready to move on. She said she thought she'd be with her ex forever, so I asked her if 'we' were a long-term thing and all of a sudden she said she can't commit to the future.

I feel so powerless. She didn't reply to my texts so I just have to wait to see what she decides. I honestly can't see how this can turn out well now, and I can't even do anything about it. I've told her I hope we can work it out and that I want to be with her, I'm not sure what else to do

Sounds like a classic rebound. Also, I can't imagine any woman wanting to be with a man who beats himself up or has self esteem issues. Work on those before your next relationship.

 

[Unicorn]

Sounds like a classic rebound. Also, I can't imagine any woman wanting to be with a man who beats himself up or has self esteem issues. Work on those before your next relationship.

Yup yup.

I've been absent from here for a while, since I've been spending a lot of time with a platonic female friend, trying to better ourselves, etc. It has been a good way to reinforce the good things I had been doing in the past and bring up things I need to improve on without any of the relationship pressure.

I still think I don't want to start dating or thinking about relationships for a while, but it is nice to think about down the line. Keep at it GAF.

 

[grap3fruitman]

I saw an amazing attractive woman on OKC last night and decided to message her. No response, not even a look at my profile. Boo. Not surprised though. =(

 

[Buckethead]

Why doth thee taketh away the "See More Matches" option?

Ok Cupid, oh cruel mistress o' mine.

 

[Ashhong]

I honestly don't know what happened... I mentioned to her that I was optimistic about the future and she suddenly got all weird saying she doesn't know if we want the same things from this relationship. I asked her what was bothering her and she said she finds it hard to be with someone who is insecure as she expects me know that she's with me for a reason and should have no need to worry about myself. I told her I'd stop with the self-deprecating stuff and try to change now that she'd brought it to my attention but she just said she wants to be left alone for a few days...

It just came out of nowhere. We had an amazing night last night and we were great this morning, then all of a sudden tonight this came up. I want to give her more credit than this, but she only broke up with her ex of 2 years a few weeks ago, and in the back of my mind I was worried she wasn't ready to date, but she told me she was ready to move on. She said she thought she'd be with her ex forever, so I asked her if 'we' were a long-term thing and all of a sudden she said she can't commit to the future.

I feel so powerless. She didn't reply to my texts so I just have to wait to see what she decides. I honestly can't see how this can turn out well now, and I can't even do anything about it. I've told her I hope we can work it out and that I want to be with her, I'm not sure what else to do


EDIT: I forgot to answer your question =/ I just have general low self-esteem and a dislike for myself. I explained to her that it fuels itself; I have no confidence in myself because I have no-one at all in my life, and I can't open up to let people in because I have no confidence.

Damn, yea it does sound like a rebound. But to clarify, you say she only broke up with her ex a few weeks ago? Didn't you say you've been chatting with her for about 2 months now? I guess you just gotta wait it out, but you should use this encounter as a confidence booster. Obviously you can get the ladies, just don't express your issues so openly. Although, I have discussed my self-esteem issues with a girl I was dating once and it worked out fine and she thought it was cute lol.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Damn, yea it does sound like a rebound. But to clarify, you say she only broke up with her ex a few weeks ago? Didn't you say you've been chatting with her for about 2 months now? I guess you just gotta wait it out, but you should use this encounter as a confidence booster. Obviously you can get the ladies, just don't express your issues so openly. Although, I have discussed my self-esteem issues with a girl I was dating once and it worked out fine and she thought it was cute lol.

Yeah, I started talking to her at about the same time. She did all the running though, she was the one that added me to Facebook and talked to me first, I just assumed she wanted to be friends, but she pursued me for a few weeks. I basically didn't do any work at all until she started writing about me on Tumblr saying how cute I was, then I asked her out.

I really wish she would let me know what's happening rather than not speak to me for days. I don't know if it's better to take the initiative and just break up with her now to save myself even more pain

 

[DrBo42]

I saw an amazing attractive woman on OKC last night and decided to message her. No response, not even a look at my profile. Boo. Not surprised though. =(

That's my day to day.

 

[Ashhong]

Yeah, I started talking to her at about the same time. She did all the running though, she was the one that added me to Facebook and talked to me first, I just assumed she wanted to be friends, but she pursued me for a few weeks. I basically didn't do any work at all until she started writing about me on Tumblr saying how cute I was, then I asked her out.

I really wish she would let me know what's happening rather than not speak to me for days. I don't know if it's better to take the initiative and just break up with her now to save myself even more pain

hahahahahaha, yea right. Girls don't believe in that.

 

[Ashodin]

Posting on this thread because it's been a while.

The girl and I have been officially BF/GF since the beginning of October, now. The one who I thought had nothing in common with me at first? It turns out we actually have a ton in common that I had to dig deeper on underneath the surreal exterior she had put up at first.

She watches some trashy TV, her manners are impeccable, and she fucks like a tiger.

Our relationship grew smoothly and healthily (more than any I've ever had) over several months since August before making the big commitment to be serious BF/GF things. I'm writing this from her apartment right now (after her coming over to my place and we had chinese). She just couldn't bear to not have another night without me and I volunteered to come over.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Well, I just sent her a huge message laying my cards on the table. I told her I didn't want to lose her, that we have fantastic chemistry and we get along so amazingly well that it would be a shame if we threw it away. I said now that she's has discussed her concerns about me I can change, I can work on my issues because she has brought them to my attention.

I feel so helpless... I'll do anything I can to keep her, but what can I do really? I've been honest with her, I can't really see any other options here.

 

[Slavik81]

It's ok bud. I've seen a ton of "women" have conversations with other guys then vanish overnight just to appear again.

I only question the validity of the person because why would you join a dating site, talk to people with the same interest, then delete the profile unless something fishy was afoot.

I think a lot of people close their accounts because they're no longer interested in dating. Either they found someone, or something in their life changes. Either way, they sometimes reopen it if they ever want to start dating again.

 

[Ashhong]

Well, I just sent her a huge message laying my cards on the table. I told her I didn't want to lose her, that we have fantastic chemistry and we get along so amazingly well that it would be a shame if we threw it away. I said now that she's has discussed her concerns about me I can change, I can work on my issues because she has brought them to my attention.

I feel so helpless... I'll do anything I can to keep her, but what can I do really? I've been honest with her, I can't really see any other options here.

Hm..I would have kept quiet for a bit :/ But I understand that you feel helpless and want to do all that you can.

 

[Ashodin]

Well, I just sent her a huge message laying my cards on the table. I told her I didn't want to lose her, that we have fantastic chemistry and we get along so amazingly well that it would be a shame if we threw it away. I said now that she's has discussed her concerns about me I can change, I can work on my issues because she has brought them to my attention.

I feel so helpless... I'll do anything I can to keep her, but what can I do really? I've been honest with her, I can't really see any other options here.

Prepare yourself for the worst man. Your comments might cause a vitriolic reaction because you're pressing the issue, and typically when I do stuff like that it blows up in my face.

Prepare. If it goes any better than that, you can jump for joy.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I just wanted her to know that I'm willing to address my problems and try to work things out. I haven't been able to sleep all night because I've been left hanging. I just want everything to work out and be good with us again.

 

[Ashodin]

I just wanted her to know that I'm willing to address my problems and try to work things out. I haven't been able to sleep all night because I've been left hanging. I just want everything to work out and be good with us again.

I know man, you should hope for the best though. She might have already made her mind up, but maybe you might change things.

 

[Ashhong]

I just wanted her to know that I'm willing to address my problems and try to work things out. I haven't been able to sleep all night because I've been left hanging. I just want everything to work out and be good with us again.

I know exactly how you feel, trust me. And even when I do the same thing that you just did, I know deep down that it will probably come across as too needy and or pathetic. But I do it anyway. Good luck

 

[PumpkinPie]

So should I just send another message saying I respect her wishes and I'll leave her alone for a while, or will sending another message just make things worse?

 

[Oblivion]

So I've gotten somewhat lucky and have been having this nice back and forth with this chick. It's been about a week right now, but most of that is cause she only responds like twice a day. Anyway, I wanna ask her out, so what's the best way to approach this?

 

[Ashhong]

So should I just send another message saying I respect her wishes and I'll leave her alone for a while, or will sending another message just make things worse?

I think you should leave it alone. I'm sure you already said something similar to that in your previous message. Just wait it out, if she's a decent person, she should get back to you by tomorrow.