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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Good luck!
You'll be fine. Don't overthink the messaging too much. If she's really interested in you, even if you say some things that she doesn't agree with or like, she'll overlook that if she wants to meet you.
Now, after just a couple more exchanges with her, start moving in on asking about a date and meeting up.
The next mistake a lot of guys make is they do the messaging back and forth too long and she loses interest.
When I first started using OKC, the bolded was my issue. Nowadays (well when I was using the site), I always make it a point to arrange a meetup real soon, like before the fifth messate, if the conversation seems to be strong.
electricshake
Member
Just gave a guy I've been messaging my number. Haven't done this for a while. Feels good (and scary!)
jamesinclair
Banned
Maddocks
Member
good luck.
Best of luck!
I've given mine on occasion to remove the "scary" part out of the equation, since it gives the girl a bit more control over the situation - on the other hand it might feel a pit pushy to some doesn't necessarily lead anywhere afterwards, but it's all about keeping options open and hoping they don't add that to some telemarketing list or something of the sort.
On the topic of messaging for a long time and it not leading anywhere, I'm getting that feeling a bit with someone who takes days to reply, but then practically uses the messages as a diary of the highliths of the week, written for her phone no less - feels like something of a mixed message, saying so much but so infrequently... I'm considering stopping replies next time she sends something with no questions or anything that feels worth replying to.
WAR recon zero
Banned
living in this third world country i rarely get hits. The same 20 matches are found and they don't reply back 
Maddocks
Member
nothing to be scared about, you did the hard stuff already the initial contact is the hardest part. now its easy as just talking and setting up a date of some sort.
Just find a way to turn that tension into some steps forward, like arranging to meet somewhere if you're actually interested in her, or next thing you know you'll have been exchanging messages for months and nothing else, and then nothing else will happen.
jamesinclair
Banned
Your next step is to send a picture of your penis. Don't wait too long or she'll think you're not interested.
NihonTiger90
Member
So I messaged a pretty cool girl locally who was bi and looking for girls/guys, and she came by and checked out my profile.
Now I look and she's no longer interested in guys.
So yeah, go me, I guess. I assume something happened to cause her to change her profile or she wasn't upfront about what she was really looking for. Back to square one. -_-
Now I look and she's no longer interested in guys.
So yeah, go me, I guess. I assume something happened to cause her to change her profile or she wasn't upfront about what she was really looking for. Back to square one. -_-
Girls will flip flop on this at will it seems, I was told by one it's a way to keep her inbox less hammered, so you never know.
So...
I am pretty disappointed. I haven't send any messages as I am still in Thailand for two month but I get the feeling there's like maximum 50 girls in Paris on Okcupid.
It's always the same faces coming again and again.
I don't think it's a viable option for French people.
I am pretty disappointed. I haven't send any messages as I am still in Thailand for two month but I get the feeling there's like maximum 50 girls in Paris on Okcupid.
It's always the same faces coming again and again.
I don't think it's a viable option for French people.
Try POF.
obijkenobi
Member
So, tonight is a third date with a girl from OkCupid. She's coming over to my place for dinner. We'll see how it goes, but she's been progressively flirty with me via text. She's a really good girl, so I'm hoping it goes well tonight
Can anyone from a non-english speaking country report how PoF compares there? It doesn't sound like it would work well with a name like that, not to mention every other issue with the site, like terrible design.
Perspicacity
Banned
Can you cook?
Put Coming to America on. It's a panty dropper.
velvet_nitemare
Member
OKCupid has been so so for me lately. Most recently I've gone on 3 dates with a girl, and i'm not that into her but hey it's someone to go out with and i'm gonna keep her around for a while while i look for something else. No sex yet, but lots of making out.
I'm going on a first meet up with another girl tomorrow. I say meet and not date because we're meeting for coffee in the daytime. She's got a kid so she's free when her kid is in school. She hit me with the whole "i'm currently celibate, until labor day" gag. Yea, we'll see about that one.
I'm going on a first meet up with another girl tomorrow. I say meet and not date because we're meeting for coffee in the daytime. She's got a kid so she's free when her kid is in school. She hit me with the whole "i'm currently celibate, until labor day" gag. Yea, we'll see about that one.
Maddocks
Member
you are about to get busy in a burger king bathroom.
velvet_nitemare
Member
Yea, i didn't buy the whole celibacy thing. Where was that idea when she got preggers?
jamesinclair
Banned
Sent three messages last night.
Got three profile views, no replies.
Feelsbadman.
Got three profile views, no replies.
Feelsbadman.
Maddocks
Member
Don't get discouraged. I have sent over 100 messages in a 2 week period and only got 4 replies back. It will happen.
jamesinclair
Banned
Thats the thing, I have a good ratio. Ive very selective with my messages and reply, I was batting something like 75% reply....but only sending out 1/2 a week.
And one of these girls was fiiiiiiiine, but not in the "no way in hell would she ever go for me" way but the "I can pull that and all my friends will faint" way.
velvet_nitemare
Member
@Jamesinclair: Yea, 3 messages is nothing. Keep plugging away, you need thick skin for this. Plus, start sending out more messages. You're sending out too few right now.
Atramental
Banned
If you're just playing around/experimenting with OKC make a female account as well and see what kind of responses you get. Haha...I feel like making an account just to see if i would actually get any messages
velvet_nitemare
Member
Errr no. It usually means they checked you out and for some reason or other they decided to pass. Girls are ridiculously more picky online than they are in person.
Although you might get a response with a message, but the odds are low.
velvet_nitemare
Member
If you have a smartphone, try the broadcast feature adnd suggest doing something fun. You might get a response.
I know exactly what you mean, and I felt the same way. But I finally got a reply from a cool, cute chick, chatted for a bit on the site, got her number, and we've been texting constantly for a few days now.
She seems to like me and actually be interested in meeting up. Not quite yet, but soon.
If I can do it, anyone can.
NihonTiger90
Member
If you live outside of a big city or metro area, I'm finding that it is a bit of a waste. Most girls do not want to travel more than a few blocks, it seems, to meet someone, or that's the impression I get. They are also way more picky because half seem to think they can always do better than you, and the other half won't date anyone who's under 95 percent match in OKC's metrics.
I'm about ready to give up myself because I'm down to 50 percent matches around here as the best I can possibly get.
I need to move somewhere else for this to be useful.jamesinclair
Banned
Ironically, after you did the first post but before the second, I noticed a girl view me, but didnt say anything. So I messaged her. She replied back.
Ratio salvaged.
jamesinclair
Banned
Is it because you took to long to send pics of your dick? You really cant delay that man. Its the difference between getting a date and never hearing from them again.
velvet_nitemare
Member
Feels Goodman?
It's helped me give less and less fucks about not hearing back from a girl. I see that as some sort of plus.
I think I've gone past that mode now. Maybe it's just me. I need to look myself in the mirror and say "wtf is wrong?"
jamesinclair
Banned
Since changing my profile up I think I have a near 100% response rate, and plenty of times I go to a girls page, and if I see we have things in common, I don't message her just to get her to message me and it has been working like crazy.
Problem is, I can't find the perfect lady.
Problem is, I can't find the perfect lady.
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