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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
SexyNerd said:
Went on a date with a girl from POF tonight. I was interested in her because she was a huge gamer and loved football. So, I thought that we should click, right?

Wrong. I mean it's not like we had long awkward pauses or anything, but I really didn't feel that instant connection like I thought we would.

We met up at the mall since that's what I suggested and then ate some froyo at a TCBY at the mall. She paid for our froyo despite me having my wallet out ready to pay at the checkout because she said that she would pay since she was the one to suggest we eat at TCBY. So, I said, "Okay, I got next time then".

We talked while we ate. Games, movies, tv shows, etc. She told me that she was involved in a 4 car pileup in the highway where her car was totaled(She said it wasn't her fault since she was in the middle of it). Also told me she was a text while driving type and that she routinely goes about 90MPH on the highway while she does it.

So, those two things kinda put me off a bit.

After we finished eating we walked around the mall a bit and then went into FYE since she wanted to look for COD shirt.

After that we walked around for just a short bit until she said that she had decided she was going to go out with her girl friend that had texted her before our date asking her if they were going out. She had mentioned this eariler while we were eating at TCBY, so it's not like it came out of nowhere. Though I suspect it was definitely an out for her. Anyways we hugged and said bye.

I don't really feel that bad about her blowing me off to go out with her friend, since like I said I didn't really feel a connection and wasn't really physically attracted to her like I thought based on her pics.

But hey! At least I got some free froyo out of it! :D
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j7PNbasvyKlQg.jpg
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good update
 
I

Invisible Man

aka SexyNerd
We started texting, exchanged nudes, and then it just kinda faded despite her initial interest.

Second girl from the panty line went about the same.

The third is still up in the air. Asked if this past Wednesday was good for her and she said she was gonna be visiting friends and family in D.C. She seemed really into it, saying things like I like it rough. I said how rough and she said how'd ever I like it.
 
E

electricshake

Member
Had a date on Thursday which was nice but I didn't really fancy the guy. First date I've had in a while that didn't end in a kiss, haha. Anyway I've not heard from him so I guess he felt the same which is good (means no awkwardness). He was a nice guy and I had a good time but there was no spark. On to the next one I guess (although that won't be for a while, judging by my previous record!)

Also had my ex visit my profile yesterday which was kind of weird. We haven't spoken since the end of August (when I told him to leave me alone so I could get over him). I was doing fine but now I've started thinking about him again, urgh. Also found out he moved to another country from his profile (I visited him back, I couldn't resist) so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Oh yeh if anyone wants a 5 star shoot me a pm, I've only been skimming the thread recently so not had time to check out everyone's profiles.
 
M

Mecha_Infantry

Banned
electricshake said:
Had a date on Thursday which was nice but I didn't really fancy the guy. First date I've had in a while that didn't end in a kiss, haha. Anyway I've not heard from him so I guess he felt the same which is good (means no awkwardness). He was a nice guy and I had a good time but there was no spark. On to the next one I guess (although that won't be for a while, judging by my previous record!)

Also had my ex visit my profile yesterday which was kind of weird. We haven't spoken since the end of August (when I told him to leave me alone so I could get over him). I was doing fine but now I've started thinking about him again, urgh. Also found out he moved to another country from his profile (I visited him back, I couldn't resist) so I guess it doesn't really matter.

Oh yeh if anyone wants a 5 star shoot me a pm, I've only been skimming the thread recently so not had time to check out everyone's profiles.
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Still based in Scotland?!

I reactivated my POF profile, and already I got a weird one

image.jpg
 
E

electricshake

Member
KevinCow said:
...First dates are supposed to end in a kiss?

Is it bad if my date yesterday didn't? Does that mean she didn't like me? :(
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No but if it's going well I usually just go for one. That's just me though, and it usually only happens when I'm drunk haha. Other girls are different though so don't stress it.

Mecha_Infantry said:
Still based in Scotland?!
Click to expand...

Yup still here, will let you know if that changes though :p
 
L

Loona

Member
KevinCow said:
...First dates are supposed to end in a kiss?

Is it bad if my date yesterday didn't? Does that mean she didn't like me? :(
Click to expand...

I'd measure first date success by how uninterruptly conversation flows throughout, not by what happens in the end, but it's not like I have a vast amount of those to refer back to. You're still getting to know the person after all.
 
S

starchild excalibur

Member
Tess3ract said:
... she's not even bad looking, why ignore her?
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Yeah. It's kinda funny that she called you "a brother" but I think she realized that.

It'd be awesome to have that sort of interaction on my end. I hope you eventually responded to her - a girl that's offering to buy you a drink is pretty fucking rare, even if they're fairly unattractive (which she definitely isn't IMO).
 
M

Mecha_Infantry

Banned
Tess3ract said:
... she's not even bad looking, why ignore her?
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She is....well...that's a nice pic of her! She is a bit big for me.

tarius1210 said:
Looks like you're using an iPad. Is that a POF chat box?

Also, did you remove your replies or are you straight up ignoring her?
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No I was on the site looking st other people and didn't know she sent two messages, so I carried on browsing and she sent me another two. It's an iPad yeah, just using the blown up app from the iPhone

starchild excalibur said:
Yeah. It's kinda funny that she called you "a brother" but I think she realized that.

It'd be awesome to have that sort of interaction on my end. I hope you eventually responded to her - a girl that's offering to buy you a drink is pretty fucking rare, even if they're fairly unattractive (which she definitely isn't IMO).
Click to expand...

I replied anyway! She is an Aussie, s she isn't here yet. We arranged to meet when she is back. I thought why not, good company and maybe something out of it in the end
 
X

Xun

Member
starchild excalibur said:
Not gonna try and give you tips on how to respond, but just gonna say she seems totally into you - asks you a ton of questions, sends you a long and detailed message, uses humor and smiley faces, signs her name at the end and even puts an x. It's great, man.

It's pretty much the opposite of all the responses I tend to get. :(

Good luck, man.
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She's the only one in my 2 years on the site who has ever really given me any positive responses.

Anyway I'll try and come up with something to send to her, but is it too soon to ask her out? Outside of a friend I briefly dated, I've never really been on a date with a girl before, so I'm new to all of this.
 
S

samus i am

Member
Xun said:
She's the only one in my 2 years on the site who has ever really given me any positive responses.

Anyway I'll try and come up with something to send to her, but is it too soon to ask her out? Outside of a friend I briefly dated, I've never really been on a date with a girl before, so I'm new to all of this.
Click to expand...
Ask her out immediately.
 
S

starchild excalibur

Member
samus i am said:
Ask her out immediately.
Click to expand...

I agree. I don't think messaging should drag out too long. Those that are really interested in meeting up will either say yes or maybe say they're not yet ready. As long as they don't outright stop responding, they're interested to at least some degree.

Mecha_Infantry said:
I replied anyway! She is an Aussie, s she isn't here yet. We arranged to meet when she is back. I thought why not, good company and maybe something out of it in the end
Click to expand...

Good man.
 
M

Messypandas

Member
Xun said:
She's the only one in my 2 years on the site who has ever really given me any positive responses.

Anyway I'll try and come up with something to send to her, but is it too soon to ask her out? Outside of a friend I briefly dated, I've never really been on a date with a girl before, so I'm new to all of this.
Click to expand...

Honestly, your messages have been so dense your very next message should be asking for a drink or something. It's not going to seem imprompt because you've exchanged a lot of info in a short time. Don't drag it out
 
F

Future Foundation

Member
Got a good feeling about today, GAF. This girl gave me a good rating, I gave her one back. I sent her a really great message (she mentioned she was pre-med, so it tied in a lot with our school experiences and how I studied medicine), and she's visiting my profile right now.
 
T

Tess3ract

Banned
KevinCow said:
"You seem like a great guy, just not MY great guy."

I fucking give up.
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Me too man, me too.

I have half a mind to change how I treat girls entirely. I'm going to stop treating them like I normally treat girls, and treat them as I do my guy friends. I'm going to be an asshole to them I think. I'll let you know if that works.
 
M

Messypandas

Member
Don't get disheartened by rejections guys; its unfortunately part of the game. Just keep on trucking, and remember; you haven't lost anything.

And yeah, I've had the most success when i'm a bit of a dirty flirt; and i mean like from like straight away. Being charming and inquisitive might work half the time.
 
T

Tess3ract

Banned
Messypandas said:
Don't get disheartened by rejections guys; its unfortunately part of the game. Just keep on trucking, and remember; you haven't lost anything.

And yeah, I've had the most success when i'm a bit of a dirty flirt; and i mean like from like straight away. Being charming and inquisitive might work half the time.
Click to expand...
That's what I've noticed. Right from the get go you have to not be her friend. You have to act disinterested but flirty. It's not who I am. I'd much rather have something in common and then get with a girl instead of being that at first.
 
R

RoboPlato

I'd be in the dick
I never get any responses, no matter how much thought I put into them. OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Match, none of them ever seem to work out. I always make a point of saying stuff related to their info as well as giving a bit of introduction about myself to show we have stuff in common. On the off chance I get a message out of the blue it's always just "Sup" from someone with no picture or info. Oh well.

The weirdest thing is that I seem to do well in terms of looks, which I never expected, (OKCupid sent one of those top 50% attractiveness things and I get selected in the random matches one all the sites a lot) but whenever I put my personality out there it doesn't work out. I think me not drinking is a red flag to most girls my age.
 
M

Messypandas

Member
RoboPlato said:
I never get any responses, no matter how much thought I put into them. OKCupid, Plenty of Fish, Match, none of them ever seem to work out. I always make a point of saying stuff related to their info as well as giving a bit of introduction about myself to show we have stuff in common. On the off chance I get a message out of the blue it's always just "Sup" from someone with no picture or info. Oh well.
Click to expand...

Have you tried simple flattery instead? Just a simple... "you have beautiful eyes ;)" or "helllo miss sexy glasses". Doesn't have to be particularly clever or funny. Got the ball rolling with me a few times.
 
M

Mecha_Infantry

Banned
YES!

Got a response from a chick I liked the profile of! I messaged again today after she looked at my profile after ignoring my 1st message

Now to whoo her!
 
R

RoboPlato

I'd be in the dick
Messypandas said:
Have you tried simple flattery instead? Just a simple... "you have beautiful eyes ;)" or "helllo miss sexy glasses". Doesn't have to be particularly clever or funny. Got the ball rolling with me a few times.
Click to expand...

I always feel weird doing that in a first message. I feel like a creep.
 
O

Ovid

Member
Messypandas said:
Have you tried simple flattery instead? Just a simple... "you have beautiful eyes ;)" or "helllo miss sexy glasses". Doesn't have to be particularly clever or funny. Got the ball rolling with me a few times.
Click to expand...

I rarely ever comment on a woman's looks on OKC. Seems like they probably get that all the time (especially from weirdoes). I don't wanna be that guy.
 
S

starchild excalibur

Member
RoboPlato said:
I always feel weird doing that in a first message. I feel like a creep.
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Me, too, but the few times I've said something nice but not overly sexual like "You have an incredible smile" I've gotten responses.

Granted, when I reply to their reply the conversation stops. :\

I think if you compliment them in a not overtly sexual way (unless you fucking look like Tom Hardy - then you can get away saying the most sexually-charged shit) and say something that relates to their profile, they're generally much more willing to play ball. I agree that the whole [Be funny & witty in your opening message, address their interests and then ask them a question about it] technique hasn't really been doing very well for me. But yeah, I guess I just feel uncomfortable doing the PUA shit.

Hella discouraging.

MetalGuardian said:
:(

Knock that shit off man
Click to expand...

.

KevinCow - you and me (and probably a lot of other GAFers) are all in the same boat more than you could possibly know. Vent your frustration here, not on the site. You getting a date out of it is more than a lot of people on here have gotten so far and a sign of good things to come.

In all honesty - this has probably become my favorite thread on GAF just because it's a room full of guys all going through similar shit. It really helps out to get pointers from one another and know you're not the only one getting rejected out there. A lot of my personal guy friends also seem to go through this shit.
 
O

Ovid

Member
starchild excalibur said:
Me, too, but the few times I've said something nice but not overly sexual like "You have an incredible smile" I've gotten responses.

Granted, when I reply to their reply the conversation stops. :\

I think if you compliment them in a not overtly sexual way (unless you fucking look like Tom Hardy - then you can get away saying the most sexually-charged shit) and say something that relates to their profile, they're generally much more willing to play ball. I agree that the whole [Be funny & witty in your opening message, address their interests and then ask them a question about it] technique hasn't really been doing very well for me. But yeah, I guess I just feel uncomfortable doing the PUA shit.

Hella discouraging.
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That's what I do for all the woman I'm interested in. The witty shit never worked for me.
 
U

Uncle0wnage

Member
Kevin, you win some, you lose some, but don't admit defeat like that. While I did laugh at some of that, it'll only hurt you in the long run on the site.
 
P

Puddles

Banned
Kevin, if you can somehow make it happen, I recommend a combination of the following:

- Gym
- Counseling

You think you're a fat piece of shit? Start beasting in the weight room. In less time than it takes you to beat some DS RPG, you could achieve a noticeable difference, both physically and mentally.

One of the guys in my dorm freshman year had pretty much your exact build when school started. He started working out, and he sure as shit didn't have that build by spring quarter. The difference was night and day. There's no reason you couldn't achieve the same thing. If you can't afford a gym, there are plenty of body-weight exercises you can do.
 
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