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[Ashhong]

No not really

I think it should stay like that. This is nothing more than the profile set up, how to send a first message, the reply and how to deal with the first date

There will be obvious cross over though

I kind of disagree. I guess that's how it shoudl stay, but some of us post in here from the start of a relationship because of OKC, so it's only natural that we continue to post/seek advice in here where we know the posters and are more comfortable.

Plus, the dating thread sucks man.

 

[Puddles]

How should I deal with the fact that I'm a graduate student who won't be earning a full-time salary until 2014? I do feel like that will be a deal-breaker for a number of women, particularly the ones above 26.

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

I kind of disagree. I guess that's how it shoudl stay, but some of us post in here from the start of a relationship because of OKC, so it's only natural that we continue to post/seek advice in here where we know the posters and are more comfortable.

Plus, the dating thread sucks man.

Yeah I was a bit brief! I guess it's more than the first date, but I hope we stay clear of the "I just broke up with my girl" type posts. It's messy

How should I deal with the fact that I'm a graduate student who won't be earning a full-time salary until 2014? I do feel like that will be a deal-breaker for a number of women, particularly the ones above 26.

Sometimes it's an issue.

I'm 27, just finished a masters in IT Security and I'm working a junior role. So the money isn't there right now, and it seems some of these chicks (from their pics) are travelling the world a few times a year, partying and fine dining every weekend! Hopefully you can find someone who can look past that and realise the potential.

But don't beat your self up over it..do your thing

 

[Ashhong]

A girl I really want to get to know viewed my profile and didn't message. Trying to build up the courage to do that desperate second message lol

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

A girl I really want to get to know viewed my profile and didn't message. Trying to build up the courage to do that desperate second message lol

Do it once, unfavourite her and hide her. If she doesn't reply then blam..

The girl I was happy at getting a response from, has started to blank me HARD, but has been on the site at the same time I have been!

We need a phrase for it..the OKCold Shoulder?! I sent a msg jokingly asking if she's alive, she logged on and still didn't reply- so unfavourite and hide her and kept it moving!

 

[Phantast2k]

How should I deal with the fact that I'm a graduate student who won't be earning a full-time salary until 2014? I do feel like that will be a deal-breaker for a number of women, particularly the ones above 26.

Women are much more likely to lower themselves in the socioeconomic bracket for the sake of a relationship than men (at least in Erope, according to a study I've read not too long ago).
So you shouldn't just simply extrapolate from your own mindset.
Get yourself a suga mama.

 

[Maddocks]

Don't even get me started on the girls who you think are great and then all of a sudden their pictures are all from this year around the world, total bummer. Because I like to travel and I have stacks on stacks, but damn they do it 4-6 times a year and are I want a travel buddy. HEY HIPPIE SOME OF US WORK! is what I say in my mind.

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

Don't even get me started on the girls who you think are great and then all of a sudden their pictures are all from this year around the world, total bummer. Because I like to travel and I have stacks on stacks, but damn they do it 4-6 times a year and are I want a travel buddy. HEY HIPPIE SOME OF US WORK! is what I say in my mind.

I honestly wonder where they get the time

Once chick's profile said she's going to Argentina for a month, and isn't going to get her career started until she's thirty (she was 27)...

Man, I wish I had it like that!

 

[Train of Midnight]

Got a little excited that a girl I had never seen messaged me this morning. Then I look at her profile. And I see this.

Just my luck. And this is why I love my avatar. Pretty much my exact response.

In other news I've been really hitting it off with this lovely Japanese woman whom I'm very interested in meeting. She doesn't have any lip tattoos that I'm aware of.

How should I deal with the fact that I'm a graduate student who won't be earning a full-time salary until 2014? I do feel like that will be a deal-breaker for a number of women, particularly the ones above 26.

How old are you, again? It's generally pretty acceptable to not have a real job if you're still in school. I wouldn't worry about it as long as that's going well, and you think your prospects are good once you get out.

 

[Surface of Me]

Anyone else do the log-out-->check out girls profile to see when she was last online or if she is on now trick?

 

[Mecha_Infantry]

Anyone else do the log-out-->check out girls profile to see when she was last online or if she is on now trick?

Her profile might not be visible to non members

There was a site that let you snoop. What was it called again? I think it also allowed you to check out your star rating without being an A class memeber

 

[equap]

Anyone else do the log-out-->check out girls profile to see when she was last online or if she is on now trick?

nah, that's too much work and i don't really care.

anybody wants some 5stars rating?? post them and i'll do you when i get home.

 

[Puddles]

How old are you, again? It's generally pretty acceptable to not have a real job if you're still in school. I wouldn't worry about it as long as that's going well, and you think your prospects are good once you get out.

I'm 28. Most of the girls my age are in a career right now. I'll be 30 when I finish this program, but it's a really good program with lots of earning potential. I'm not sure if I want to mention that directly on my profile or not. It might be more efficient to just weed out the girls who are looking for Johnny I-Banker and his six figure salary early on.

 

[Tess3ract]

Got a little excited that a girl I had never seen messaged me this morning. Then I look at her profile. And I see this.

Just my luck. And this is why I love my avatar. Pretty much my exact response.

In other news I've been really hitting it off with this lovely Japanese woman whom I'm very interested in meeting. She doesn't have any lip tattoos that I'm aware of.
How old are you, again? It's generally pretty acceptable to not have a real job if you're still in school. I wouldn't worry about it as long as that's going well, and you think your prospects are good once you get out.

Just think of her giving you a BJ with that tat. Omg send her my way

 

[electricshake]

I'm 28. Most of the girls my age are in a career right now. I'll be 30 when I finish this program, but it's a really good program with lots of earning potential. I'm not sure if I want to mention that directly on my profile or not. It might be more efficient to just weed out the girls who are looking for Johnny I-Banker and his six figure salary early on.

I don't think it's too big a deal, and I wouldn't be put off by someone who was doing post graduate study. I'm 26 and still an undergrad (long story), and I'll be 27 when I graduate. I plan on doing a PhD after which will mean I'll be 31 (at least!) before I get a 'real' job. It would be different if you were working a dead-end job (and not trying to get a better one) because that shows a lack of motivation which isn't a particularly attractive trait. But furthering your education isn't a bad thing, assuming you can support yourself financially at the moment.

 

[Puddles]

Yeah, I have a fellowship and a part-time job, and I've made some extra money through investments, but I'm definitely not taking anyone to Paris, or even Vegas, any time soon.

I guess I'll just make sure my skin is pretty thick and that I'm ready for the girls who do reject me for not having a full-time career.

 

[Tess3ract]

Am I the only one who sees girls who are like "Kids? Wants me to be her sugar daddy? Obese? (I don't mean curvy)" *presses HIDE button*

 

[ArachosiA 78]

I've been browsing OK Cupid for a several months now, not finding anyone that interests me, until about a week ago I come across this girl that seems like a perfect match. We have a lot in common, and I find her to be quite attractive. I messaged her, and she did reply, to which I replied.... but no response since then. Should I try messaging her again or just let it go? I don't want to harass her or anything, but damn, I just feel it's a shame for two people to have so much in common and then not even attempt to pursue anything.

 

[Perspicacity]

Just mentioned throwing cats at old people in a message. What am I doing...

 

[Emily Chu]

I've been browsing OK Cupid for a several months now, not finding anyone that interests me, until about a week ago I come across this girl that seems like a perfect match. We have a lot in common, and I find her to be quite attractive. I messaged her, and she did reply, to which I replied.... but no response since then. Should I try messaging her again or just let it go? I don't want to harass her or anything, but damn, I just feel it's a shame for two people to have so much in common and then not even attempt to pursue anything.

Flakery buttery fish

 

[Surface of Me]

I've been browsing OK Cupid for a several months now, not finding anyone that interests me, until about a week ago I come across this girl that seems like a perfect match. We have a lot in common, and I find her to be quite attractive. I messaged her, and she did reply, to which I replied.... but no response since then. Should I try messaging her again or just let it go? I don't want to harass her or anything, but damn, I just feel it's a shame for two people to have so much in common and then not even attempt to pursue anything.

This is a feel I am currently feeling.

 

[Perspicacity]

I've been browsing OK Cupid for a several months now, not finding anyone that interests me, until about a week ago I come across this girl that seems like a perfect match. We have a lot in common, and I find her to be quite attractive. I messaged her, and she did reply, to which I replied.... but no response since then. Should I try messaging her again or just let it go? I don't want to harass her or anything, but damn, I just feel it's a shame for two people to have so much in common and then not even attempt to pursue anything.

There isn't a right answer to this, sometimes responding works but mostly it doesn't. Sometimes leaving her alone means she'll get back to you but mostly it doesn't. Just do whatever feels right.

 

[140.85]

I've been browsing OK Cupid for a several months now, not finding anyone that interests me, until about a week ago I come across this girl that seems like a perfect match. We have a lot in common, and I find her to be quite attractive. I messaged her, and she did reply, to which I replied.... but no response since then. Should I try messaging her again or just let it go? I don't want to harass her or anything, but damn, I just feel it's a shame for two people to have so much in common and then not even attempt to pursue anything.

This happens a lot.

 

[crush7337]

I've been browsing OK Cupid for a several months now, not finding anyone that interests me, until about a week ago I come across this girl that seems like a perfect match. We have a lot in common, and I find her to be quite attractive. I messaged her, and she did reply, to which I replied.... but no response since then. Should I try messaging her again or just let it go? I don't want to harass her or anything, but damn, I just feel it's a shame for two people to have so much in common and then not even attempt to pursue anything.

If she was interested she would have replied by now most likely. There's a small chance she may have missed your message, and you don't really have anything to lose by messaging her so its worth a shot.

What's most likely is she might have found someone else. The girl I was with had multiple conversations going that she stopped (I think she told some of the other people she dated that she had found someone else, which would be a nice message to get and not just be left in the cold). When you're on the other side its sort of a good feeling in a cruel way, knowing that a girl drops everyone else for you.

 

[Surface of Me]

This happens a lot.

I dont even understand the mentality of it, why even reply to the first message?

 

[WascallyWabbit]

I've been browsing OK Cupid for a several months now, not finding anyone that interests me, until about a week ago I come across this girl that seems like a perfect match. We have a lot in common, and I find her to be quite attractive. I messaged her, and she did reply, to which I replied.... but no response since then. Should I try messaging her again or just let it go? I don't want to harass her or anything, but damn, I just feel it's a shame for two people to have so much in common and then not even attempt to pursue anything.

Just write something nice back like, "Hey, how've you been? Haven't heard from you in awhile, is everything ok?"

The "everything ok?" part might seem a little beta but that's up to you

 

[mug]

I dont even understand the mentality of it, why even reply to the first message?

Something better came up?

 

[Surface of Me]

Just write something nice back like, "Hey, how've you been? Haven't heard from you in awhile, is everything ok?"

The "everything ok?" part might seem a little beta but that's up to you

It sure is beta to the max, making it betamax.

I've actually typed out the lyrics to Dont You (Forget About Me) by simple minds, and it currently has a 100% success rate to getting back the girl's attention.

I've only used it twice though.

Edit: You have to be patient though, shit comes up sometimes for people and OkCupid isn't the first thing on their minds more than likely. Generally wait atleast two days to say something about them not replying, probably more right now since it is just about Thanksgiving.

 

[Galang]

This happens a lot.

Sadly. I don't mind not getting a reply the first time around, but the most annoying feeling is when someone cuts contact out of nowhere after conversing for a bit.

 

[brettchalupa]

How should I deal with the fact that I'm a graduate student who won't be earning a full-time salary until 2014? I do feel like that will be a deal-breaker for a number of women, particularly the ones above 26.

I am in the opposite position of this.

I am 20, just moved and started a new job. Signed up for OK Cupid to try and meet new people and go out on dates. I haven't messaged anyone yet. I struggle with talking to people online. I'd much rather talk in person. Another reason for OK Cupid is because it's not like I can go out to bars or downtown and party because I am 20. I also don't work somewhere where there is a chance of meeting someone.

The difficult part is that since I am 20, it feels like it would be odd to go out on a date with someone 21-24 because I wouldn't be able to get a beer or drink, not that that is the only thing people do, but it's just a bit odd. Maybe it doesn't have to be?

Another hangup is that I'm really busy with work and pursuing my personal interests, so I guess you could say I have my shit together. I've noticed, while I was attending school, that most 20 year olds in college or who aren't in college don't have their shit together. It just seems difficult because I am in a different place in my life than my peers at this moment.

Any advice?

 

[Ashhong]

Anyone else do the log-out-->check out girls profile to see when she was last online or if she is on now trick?

All the time. Just open her link in an incognito tab, that way you don't have to log out.

 

[UFRA]

Something better came up?

Exactly.

The thing people have to remember is on dating sites, there's always some dude out there better looking than you, with more hobbies, and a fucking horse or something.

This is why it's important that you move quickly with the messages. Don't waste weeks messaging back and forth. 3-4 messages and then you propose a date/phone number exchange/etc. and get the ball rolling.

 

[RedAssedApe]

Any advice?

I think you are thinking too hard about this. Despite what you might think, people over 21 don't exclusively hangout at bars on the weekend.

 

[brettchalupa]

I think you are thinking too hard about this. Despite what you might think, people over 21 don't exclusively hangout at bars on the weekend.

That's true. I guess it's really not that big of a barrier.

 

[Xun]

It seems a little long and with perhaps a couple too many questions - I would try and save some of those for meeting up.

Better? I want to get this off soonish.

You seen the viral website they have going for it? It should be great!

I'm currently working as a runner for a TV post-production company, so it literally has nothing to do with what I want to be doing, but it's good exercise I guess!

I know what its like to have an incompetent teacher. Our guy barely taught us anything at all! I studied at Ravensbourne which is next to the O2 Arena, which to simply put, looks like a block of cheese (luckily it doesn't smell though!). Where abouts are you studying? It sounds like a pretty cool course!

I hear Lithuania is an interesting place. How long were you planning on staying for? I've personally always fancied exploring the east and west coast of America, but I don't have too much planned for it at the moment... but hopefully soon!

Anyway without sounding too forward, did you perhaps fancy grabbing a coffee next week? Say wednesday?

Tom

 

[MetalGuardian]

Hooray for another out of the blue message!

"I just sat here and read your profile in it's entirety. I must say, you are something else. In the best way possible "

I'm telling you guys, you gotta get in on these gimmicky profile tricks. It makes you stand out so much more compared to everyone else.

Mine in particular I'm sure is too "unique" for some people so they wouldn't even give me a second thought, but those aren't the people I'd want anyway. I never got messaged first by girls last time I was on OKC, and now it has happened three times in my first week.

Just something for you blokes to consider

EDIT: "Anyway without sounding too forward, did you perhaps fancy grabbing a coffee next week? Say wednesday?"

Xun, take that part out. It's a dating site. Asking a girl whom you are talking to on a dating site out on a date isn't forward, and wording it as such just makes you come across as reserved and unsure. Her answer will be the same whether you have that line in there or not, so it's best to err on the side of confidence

Best of luck man, keep us posted

 

[Ashhong]

Hooray for another out of the blue message!

"I just sat here and read your profile in it's entirety. I must say, you are something else. In the best way possible "

I'm telling you guys, you gotta get in on these gimmicky profile tricks. It makes you stand out so much more compared to everyone else.

Mine in particular I'm sure is too "unique" for some people so they wouldn't even give me a second thought, but those aren't the people I'd want anyway. I never got messaged first by girls last time I was on OKC, and now it has happened three times in my first week.

Just something for you blokes to consider

EDIT: "Anyway without sounding too forward, did you perhaps fancy grabbing a coffee next week? Say wednesday?"

Xun, take that part out. It's a dating site. Asking a girl whom you are talking to on a dating site out on a date isn't forward, and wording it as such just makes you come across as reserved and unsure. Her answer will be the same whether you have that line in there or not, so it's best to err on the side of confidence

Best of luck man, keep us posted

What do u have that makes yours unique?

 

[RedAssedApe]

What do u have that makes yours unique?

Yes. I want to see this gimmick profile

 

[Perspicacity]

Yeah, can't really make statements like that without letting us in Metal.

Also, one of the best messages I've received in a while:

Okay I do want to keep talking to you but the next two days are crazy and you deserve a good response SO I will write you on the weekend?

Shame that this girl lives three hours away, because letting me know that straight up rather than just putting me off until she was free was a cool ass move.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Yeah, can't really make statements like that without letting us in Metal.

Also, one of the best messages I've received in a while:

Shame that this girl lives three hours away, because letting me know that straight up rather than just putting me off until she was free was a cool ass move.

What's everyone's usual radius of interest? I usually keep it to under like 25-30 miles. I don't think I'd even bother talking to a girl from that far away. But she does seem cool as hell

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Better? I want to get this off soonish.

Why next Wednesday? Sooner the better, and don't put question marks.

"Let's continue this discussion over coffee this Friday."

 

[electricshake]

What's everyone's usual radius of interest? I usually keep it to under like 25-30 miles. I don't think I'd even bother talking to a girl from that far away. But she does seem cool as hell

Mine is set to 100km I think. I've got a car, and I'd totally travel if I met someone worth it. But I think I'm going to take a break for a bit, there's just no one I'm interested in on here. Maybe I'm just being too picky (shallow) and setting my standards too high.

I think I need some new hobbies or some other way to meet guys.

 

[RedAssedApe]

What's everyone's usual radius of interest? I usually keep it to under like 25-30 miles. I don't think I'd even bother talking to a girl from that far away. But she does seem cool as hell

With horrid Los Angeles traffic, I prefer 25 miles. Sometimes I'll look at 50 miles but I usually don't bother.

 

[Perspicacity]

What's everyone's usual radius of interest? I usually keep it to under like 25-30 miles. I don't think I'd even bother talking to a girl from that far away. But she does seem cool as hell

I barely look outside of my city, but in this case she showed up on the front page feed looked cute and had an interesting response to something so I clicked. Turns out we are 95% match and had a lot of shared interests so I figured there was no harm in messaging.

 

[Xun]

Why next Wednesday? Sooner the better, and don't put question marks.

"Let's continue this discussion over coffee this Friday."

I would've said sooner, but it's a very busy week this week.

Out tomorrow evening for my birthday, friday I'm out with my family for my birthday, and saturday I'm out with some old college friends.

Next week made more sense, otherwise I would've done it earlier.

I sent it already anyway, ah well. I'm sure it'll be fine.

 

[KlotePino]

Just had my first reply and started a little back and forth. She seems interesting but there's been a day between responses so far so I'd prefer for us to be on at the same time and actually be able to chat. Or I have to step up my messages since they've been pretty boring so far to be honest. What do you guys like, chatting or long messages? And what works better in your experience?

 

[Necrovex]

What's everyone's usual radius of interest? I usually keep it to under like 25-30 miles. I don't think I'd even bother talking to a girl from that far away. But she does seem cool as hell

My maximum distance is 40 miles, but she has to be something for me to consider that distance. I am usually comfortable between 20-30 miles. I really dislike driving, and it's a timesink to make that block of time with my current schedule.

I've been thinking about coming back to this site in a few weeks. I wanted to take a slight hiatus from it to focus on my schoolwork, clubs, and hospital duties. The last two are about done for a while, and this thread has motivated me to have another go at it.

 

[Maddocks]

Just had my first reply and started a little back and forth. She seems interesting but there's been a day between responses so far so I'd prefer for us to be on at the same time and actually be able to chat. Or I have to step up my messages since they've been pretty boring so far to be honest. What do you guys like, chatting or long messages? And what works better in your experience?

sending messages is good. but you want her off the site talking to you. each message you send her on site gives her another chance to see someone else. so its best to get in and get out and chat offsite. Girl I'm talking too we talk through emails at the moment, so its a little more personal and offsite, so next step is phone, then in person.

 

[MetalGuardian]

What do u have that makes yours unique?

Yes. I want to see this gimmick profile

Quote for maximum glory

I'm pretty sure though we've all rated each other 5 stars already

 

[ZeroRay]

Quote for maximum glory

I'm pretty sure though we've all rated each other 5 stars already

We have!

I'm writing a rap for my About Me section.