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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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WascallyWabbit
Member
Nice!
Train of Midnight
Banned
Your private answer is a total cop-out. It doesn't need to be super personal, but you've gotta give them something. Either that or just leave it blank.
MetalGuardian
Banned
Xun, did you ever get her number or has it been kept solely to OKC messaging?
Congratulations man
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
Well done!
So I messaged a girl after getting an email she rated me 5 stars, and ended up getting a wall of text back. I guess it's a good thing though, anyway I think in the past I've waited too long sometimes to ask for their number. So should I ask in the next message along with answering her questions, or wait for a few more? Trying not to botch this one, so advice is appreciated.
I'm happy for you, bro. Another example to show these sites can work for us normal Gaffers.
I tend to arrange a meet up and acquire a woman's number by the third or fourth message. Before I went on my slight hiatus from dating, I asked a girl to meet up and her number by the third message.
MetalGuardian
Banned
My personal rule is to not go longer than five messages without asking for a number, though I usually almost always ask on the third message (particularly if the conversation has been more than just a few lines each back and forth).
I've also found that it's helpful to ask in a playful manner... for example, this girl I was talking to asked me about my Thanksgiving, 'twas the third message, so I sent her this:
"My Thanksgiving was exquisite but it was also SO SECRETIVE that I can't trust divulging all of the juicy (that was a pun) details over a channel as insecure as OKC.
Having your phone number would surely remedy this problem"
Good luck brother!
WascallyWabbit
Member
I like this, will surely steal
AHA-Lambda
Member
Hey guys, just recently signed up for this a few weeks ago. Got any tips?
I feel like I am missing something, I've not messaged loads of girls yet or anything but I've only had 2 replies so far and then I never got a 2nd reply for either of them =/
I get it that okcupid is free and I guess the odds could be stacked against me somewhat but any advice? Are the paid services like match.com any better in this regard?
I feel like I am missing something, I've not messaged loads of girls yet or anything but I've only had 2 replies so far and then I never got a 2nd reply for either of them =/
I get it that okcupid is free and I guess the odds could be stacked against me somewhat but any advice? Are the paid services like match.com any better in this regard?
brofist.jpg
Ashodin here and I both met ladies off OKC about same time roughly. I'm almost 4 months of solid dating with mine. She loves me and vice versa. Our relationship has been bumpy as fuck, but I'm holding on till it isn't worth the the few crappy times. 90% of it has been great, so I don't see a reason to call it quits yet.
Perspicacity
Banned
We're going to need to see your profile and know what sort of messages you're sending out to give good advice. But there are great tips on basically every page of this thread.
AHA-Lambda
Member
EDIT: anyone that wants to see my profile and give me some hints can PM me.
What the fuck ever. More like she exhausted all her "preferred" guys in that time lapse, and is just now combing over what to her are people she didn't give a shit about to begin with.
I don't buy for a second that messages line of bull shit. Either way, if she's hot/has things in common with you, then give her the time of day, but be wary that she may be full of crap on a regular basis.
I've used similar lines also with good success.
I've been messaging this one girl and can't really tell if she's interested. She'll respond to my messages but just answers my questions and doesn't ask one back to me. She's also online maybe once a day and it seems like after she sends a message back to me she signs off, looking at the timestamps. I did just ask for her name in the message I sent yesterday (she hasn't been on since) so I figure if she gives that to me I'll ask her out in the next message. I'm usually quicker to ask someone out, but usually there's more of a back and forth going on. She's also very attractive, which is the main reason I'm fretting over it so much lol. Her profile does also say she's just looking for friends, but she's answered sex/dating questions so I don't know what's up there.
Edit: I'll also add she answered our fabled "cheese or peanut butter house" line, by saying that neither is a good choice and she thinks jello would be a better option. So I figure if she responds I'll playfully ask her out so we can get started on that jello house. She'll just have to pick what color.
No idea one way or the other but she seems legitimate and I don't really care if it doesn't work out because I wrote her off initially because she never responded.
Devolution
Member
Women, especially if they're listed as single, get a deluge of messages from men on OKC. You have to stand out in some way to get a reply back.
Perspicacity
Banned
Oh shit, don't get me banned for that one
Ask for the number in your third message.
Women, especially if they're listed as single, get a deluge of messages from men on OKC. You have to stand out in some way to get a reply back.
That guy definitely isn't trying hard enough. Not enough "E"s in there to warrant any kind of response.
good job, dude.
AHA-Lambda
Member
Women, especially if they're listed as single, get a deluge of messages from men on OKC. You have to stand out in some way to get a reply back.
That's what I have found weird though, twice now I have got a reply but never got a 2nd reply from them.
Any advice on how to "stand out"?
Devolution
Member
Honestly humor. Not trying too hard. A lot of men on these things sound desperate and eager to please. It's not the easiest thing I know, since you want to be nice.
I'm 100% certain this is the order in which a woman's mind works on this site:
Women, especially if they're listed as single, get a deluge of messages from men on OKC. You have to stand out in some way to get a reply back.
1. Looks
2. Message
3. Profile Compatibility
Devo, tell me I'm wrong.
Devolution
Member
Profile compatibility is something that I look at pretty strongly. Especially if it says "You have issues", I'm like "welp." Also for reference sake Timedog and I are at 99% somehow.
Two of the most popular personalities on GAF...makes sense.
WascallyWabbit
Member
SOUL MATES
Every person is different, but realistically I feel like I get along better with the 75% match or friend peoples than the 90%+ people.
I don't really take it into account unless it's like 50%+ enemy or something.
I figure that you can put a bunch of answers down, but sometimes the answers you expect the other person to put don't really line up, even if you think the same way, or it might end up being a minor difference even though one person put it higher up their list in importance.
In the end, it's all really about communication.
Devolution
Member
Perspicacity
Banned
In general I always make sure I check the "Unacceptable Answers" of the person regardless of match percentage. There are certain things that are always going to be dealbreakers for me.
WascallyWabbit
Member
My friends and I were bored the other night and we decided to go through the okcupid questions and use it as a drinking game.
Fun times were had.
Fun times were had.
Like, if I'm messaging someone outside of my own race I always check "Would you prefer to date someone of your own race". If it says "Yes", the mouse cursor automatically goes to the upper right hand part of the screen and closes the window.
Hey, saves me time.
WascallyWabbit
Member
I was advised earlier in this thread to not worry about that, since people answer those questions quickly or a long time ago. But I guess if she lists it as "mandatory" I wouldn't bother
Why does it even matter what color of skin a person is? like I fundamentally don't understand it
Some people actually care.
Devolution
Member
Yeah for me some important questions are:
Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
Do you believe that the global flood (Noah's ark) actually happened?
Is interracial marriage a bad idea?
For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy?
Gay marriage -- should it be legal?
The idea of gay and lesbian couples having children is:
Do you believe contraception is morally wrong?
That kind of thing.
Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
Do you believe that the global flood (Noah's ark) actually happened?
Is interracial marriage a bad idea?
For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy?
Gay marriage -- should it be legal?
The idea of gay and lesbian couples having children is:
Do you believe contraception is morally wrong?
That kind of thing.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I remember once when I actually replied back to a guy just because of his pic + message then noticed the %. Dude was shamelessly homophobic.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
This is how I did it:
Not a lot of new messages? Reply to everyone, more serious with those who wrote long messages or wrote a different comment from damn near everyone else, simple with the simple ones, and snarky with the creeps.
A lot of new messages? Go through them really quick, only replying to the long ones (at least to compliment the effort), or the ones that were genuinely funny, not bothering with the short ones, even if it was the second message with someone.
Especially on POF, since in the time I took to reply a good message I usually got another two.
Solely OkCupid, stupidly.
jamesinclair
Banned
So you don't talk to people who study history and generally accept that there was an extremely large flood in that time period?
A 40-day flood that destroyed all living things? Generally accepted by historians?
EDIT: I am bad at detecting sarcasm.
Devolution
Member
I'm not quite sure he's being sarcastic.
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