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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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B

Bisnic

Really Really Exciting Member!
demosthenes said:
If you know they read your profile and you sent them a message then it's more than likely that they're not interested is how I feel :\
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Yeah, that's what i figured too, but after nearly 12 girls that didn't bother to send me 1 reply, and the number of interesting girls living in my city are starting to get thin, it's a litte depressing. :( I really don't want to have to start checking profiles of girls living 2-3 hours away from my city.
 
O

Ovid

Member
Bisnic said:
Do you guys bother sending a 2nd message to someone you know have read your profile and 1st message? Even if it's a good idea, I have no idea what I should say. "Hey, y u no reply to me?" :lol
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Uh...no.

They read your message and saw your profile, no response means they're not interested.

Az987 said:
a 44 year old lady just messaged me, what do i do?
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I don't think I'd respond. 44 year olds want to "settle down".
 
D

dralla

Member
Bisnic said:
Do you guys bother sending a 2nd message to someone you know have read your profile and 1st message? Even if it's a good idea, I have no idea what I should say. "Hey, y u no reply to me?" :lol
Click to expand...

I've done this a few times, there was a long break between the messages though, like 1-2 months. I got responses on from second message from some of them (and ended up meeting up with one of them), so it doesn't hurt.
 
E

electricshake

Member
tarius1210 said:
Uh...no.

They read your message and saw your profile, no response means they're not interested.
Click to expand...

This. I had a guy message me again saying 'ignorance sucks' because I didn't respond to his first message. I was on my phone when I got the first message, so I read it and checked out his profile. It wasn't bad and I did actually consider replying, but he didn't give me much to work with (it was literally a one liner message and not even that good). His second message pissed me off so I just told him I had been on my phone and was thinking about what to respond to him, but that seeing as he was so keen to jump to conclusions about people I'd leave it at that. His response was pretty arsey and he said 'most of you on here are all the same'. I didn't want to get into a fight with him so I just ignored it, but christ he was acting like an entitled dick. So if you're going to send a second messages (which for the most part I wouldn't recommend), make sure you don't act like a total knob jockey because that's going to make her even less likely to respond. Also there was only an hour and a half between the first two messages, and impatience is not an attractive trait. I never reply to messages straight away, I like to think about what to say so that was just the cherry on top of the arsehole sundae.
 
B

Bisnic

Really Really Exciting Member!
dralla said:
I've done this a few times, there was a long break between the messages though, like 1-2 months. I got responses on from second message from some of them (and ended up meeting up with one of them), so it doesn't hurt.
Click to expand...

Eh i dunno after thinking about this, i pretty much said all i could in my first messages, so if saying stuff like "i like what i saw in your profile, you look like a cool girl and we share some common interests, i want to know more about you, blabla", + my profile isn't enough to even get a reply, there's nothing a 2nd message can do. It would be pretty much begging at this point.
 
Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
I usually send one and done. even if they don't visit my profile. maybe after a month ill send a 2nd one just incase.
 
L

Loona

Member
Second messages aren't always a terrible idea. There's this girl who visited my profile while I was seeing someone, and when my previous relationship ended I checked hers and sent a message - got no reply then. Months later she's still active on the site and still seems like someone I could get along with, so I send her one asking for an opinion on something, and replied to that, which let to some nice exchanges, and maybe watching a movie next weekend.

If you think it's worth it, give it time, I guess?
 
A

Az987

all good things
tarius1210 said:
Uh...no.

They read your message and saw your profile, no response means they're not interested.


I don't think I'd respond. 44 year olds want to "settle down".
Click to expand...

You think a 44 year old woman would want to settle down with a 26 year old man? She probably wants some lovin'.
 
S

Samara

Member
Bisnic said:
Eh i dunno after thinking about this, i pretty much said all i could in my first messages, so if saying stuff like "i like what i saw in your profile, you look like a cool girl and we share some common interests, i want to know more about you, blabla", + my profile isn't enough to even get a reply, there's nothing a 2nd message can do. It would be pretty much begging at this point.
Click to expand...

Send a second message when youve talked for a while and want to know whats going on. If they suddenly stop then just let go.
 
O

Old Lace

Member
Do you guys typically ask people out through Okcupid? Or do you get a phone number first? I just seem to be stuck in a pattern where I send messages back and forth until they get bored.
 
P

purg3

slept with Malkin
Old Lace said:
Do you guys typically ask people out through Okcupid? Or do you get a phone number first? I just seem to be stuck in a pattern where I send messages back and forth until they get bored.
Click to expand...

I try and get the number first. Same thing was happening to me while ago, I asked a similar question on here and this was the advice I got. Which by the way works really well. Try move communication away from the site after a few messages.

MetalGuardian said:
My personal rule is to not go longer than five messages without asking for a number, though I usually almost always ask on the third message (particularly if the conversation has been more than just a few lines each back and forth).

I've also found that it's helpful to ask in a playful manner... for example, this girl I was talking to asked me about my Thanksgiving, 'twas the third message, so I sent her this:

"My Thanksgiving was exquisite but it was also SO SECRETIVE that I can't trust divulging all of the juicy (that was a pun) details over a channel as insecure as OKC.

Having your phone number would surely remedy this problem"

Good luck brother!
Click to expand...
 
P

purg3

slept with Malkin
well damn, I wish it was always this easy. Had a pretty cute girl message me the other day, after about 2 messages back and forth she asks to meet up. Digits get, now working on setting something up.
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
purg3 said:
well damn, I wish it was always this easy. Had a pretty cute girl message me the other day, after about 2 messages back and forth she asks to meet up. Digits get, now working on setting something up.
Click to expand...

I fucking hate you

naw, just kidding. I'm just jealous, good luck!
 
C

crush7337

Banned
Never had a girl ask me for a meetup. I've had them message me first, but its always me that ends up asking to meetup. I always seem to get interest from the girls who just signed up, but most of them are always a little nervous about meeting someone from the internet.
 
S

Sajjaja

Member
Have any of you guys got embarrassed at the thought of having some one you know see your profile on these sites? I feel like this would bite me in the ass some how, somewhere down the road.
 
B

Bisnic

Really Really Exciting Member!
Oh hey, 1 girl replied to me. Thought that day would never come. Let's see where that goes.
 
N

Necrovex

Member
Sajjaja said:
Have any of you guys got embarrassed at the thought of having some one you know see your profile on these sites? I feel like this would bite me in the ass some how, somewhere down the road.
Click to expand...

Nah, I don't have that concern. I actually talk to my friends about these sites, and we have a good chuckle at the slight insanity of my profile. Hell, I've convinced a friend to give this site a try. People already know I am a major fan of internet communities, so they aren't surprised I use those type of sites.
 
C

Cow Mengde

Banned
Hahaha, oh god, this is hilarious. I see tons of people visiting my profile, but of course they're all gaffers. Not that I don't appreciate the ratings. It's just kind of funny. I'm not even done editing everything yet and still haven't found decent pictures to put up.

BTW, so a lot of you have visited it. Any advice on how to improve it? What I have up is just a simple template.
 
E

electricshake

Member
Sajjaja said:
Have any of you guys got embarrassed at the thought of having some one you know see your profile on these sites? I feel like this would bite me in the ass some how, somewhere down the road.
Click to expand...

I've encountered a few people I know and we've exchanged a message to say hey. Most of my friends know I do online dating, I've never made a secret of it. My profile is pretty tame and there's nothing on there that my friends don't already know about me.
 
P

purg3

slept with Malkin
Sajjaja said:
Have any of you guys got embarrassed at the thought of having some one you know see your profile on these sites? I feel like this would bite me in the ass some how, somewhere down the road.
Click to expand...

Not really. I've seen people I work with on there and that I've gone to school with. I actually had a friend show up in my quiver before. Was funny since I didn't even know she was on the site. Don't really see anyway this could "bite you in the ass" unless you got some weird shit on your profile.
 
M

Marz

Member
Is it still considered taboo or are you guys just older?

I'm 21 and amongst me and my friends, it's not uncommon for us to go out with some chick off of facebook or something.
 
A

ameratsu

Member
"Curvy" girls having some sort of hilariously unrepresentative, super zoomed in photo that abuses angles has to be one of the biggest tropes on the site. /rant
 
K

kiryogi

Banned
Yeah the body descriptions tend to be misleading. . .

Moving on. Had a 2nd call with her last night, shes still up for talking tonight. She sort of teased about running into me while shopping (she was shopping @ one of the stores for a chain I work @) but I was sorta idiotic about it by sorta shrugging it off. (Cue me totally missing the hint) But the momentum's still going!
 
D

Devolution

Member
GeneralIroh said:
opps i forgot about it. Here ya go Dev.

Click to expand...

Pull back on the memes. Makes you seem immature. Just being honest. Good variety of pics though.


RichieS99 said:
Im back again my friends.
New Profile is
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/RichieS10
Please Five Star me and let me know what you think of the profile.
Lord knows I need all the help I can get.
Click to expand...

More pics. More personality. In the 6 things you can't do without, you don't really expand on why or list anything interesting. A bunch of people do this though, so it's nothing new.


Baggatoast said:
Turned 20 and decided to redo my profile.
Check it out and rate, please.
Also, any critique welcome.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Baggatoast?cf=profile_similar
Click to expand...

More pics. Get some shots outside besides the porch. You also have a habit of listing who you are without some insight through your choice of expression.
 
B

Baggatoast

Member
Devolution said:
More pics. Get some shots outside besides the porch. You also have a habit of listing who you are without some insight through your choice of expression.
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Thanks, I had more pictures but they were all either a year or two old so I deleted them and started fresh.
I'll look into explaining my personality traits a bit more specifically.
 
C

Cow Mengde

Banned
I'm chatting with someone from GAF right now. Which one of you is it?

Oh and I 5 starred all my gaffers. At least I hope they are. I just 5 starred all the dudes and Devo of course.
 
D

Devolution

Member
Baggatoast said:
Thanks, I had more pictures but they were all either a year or two old so I deleted them and started fresh.
I'll look into explaining my personality traits a bit more specifically.
Click to expand...

Well you don't have to explain them so much as let them come through your profile due to your sentence structure, word choices and such. Anything you've written that seems stale consider rewriting in another way.
 
R

RichieS99

Banned
Thanks for the advice Devo am just going to explain my six things. The pictures I will have to do later as its 1 a.m and I look like ass right now :p
 
O

Oblivion

Fetishing muscular manly men in skintight hosery
Bisnic said:
Do you guys bother sending a 2nd message to someone you know have read your profile and 1st message? Even if it's a good idea, I have no idea what I should say. "Hey, y u no reply to me?" :lol
Click to expand...

Funny you mention that, actually. I did so to 3 chicks so far.


1st - She said I lived too far, wasn't her type, and just met someone who she thought was awesome. Sounded kind of snooty.
2nd - This one was very nice but pretty much stated outright that she actually just had an account just to see if she would get any responses.
3rd - She turned out to be the most surprising one. She was actually a bit older than me (late 30s), and said that she doesn't usually date younger guys. She turned out to be really friendly and we started hanging out. Helped me take a couple of pics even. I'd still like to bang her, of course (she's quite hot), but she's a totally cool person that it doesn't matter much.


Now, granted I haven't re-messaged any other women, but just goes to show you that sometimes you can be pleasantly surprised.
 
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