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[crush7337]

Nice, what'd you say to her?

Her profile mentioned that she wanted someone who could quote My Cousin Vinny as much as her. I tried to drop in the Pesci: "Everything this guy just said is bullshit...Thank you." line, replacing "this guy" with "your profile".

She didn't pick up the quote and thought I actually called her out. She made up a good story about how her profile was bullshit and she's really a high school dropout trying to support 5 kids on welfare.

Will report back on how this conversation goes.

 

[Maddocks]

Mind posting your profile again? Wow, that's harsh for them to reply like that right away unless you are asking them out immediately or messaging them repeatedly?

I never posted it because I never really needed it. I already had 2-3 people go through it and give their input and added things and taken things away, so never felt like I needed another opinion as I had 3 others.

I never ask them out on the first message, that is suicide lol I never double message unless it is by accident(which I have done only 3 times) My humor is just not built for words to be read, it needs to be said outloud. So some of it is my fault in thinking that people will understand it like I understand it. It happens, people get burned out on the rejection. I didn't go as bad as Kevin Cow did and changed my whole profile into self hate, but I understand the feeling of that.

I should be more clear, I want to give it up, but I also don't lol Because while I'm feeling more cynical about the site, I'm still a hopeless optimist about the whole process. I kinda posted in anger about leaving. I was frustrated and wanted to vent, I came here to vent because we all share a common goal and bond. I'll probably keep messaging girls and I'll keep posting here about my failures and my successes. So no need to panic, I shall always be here to annoy you all with my stories. Just got to get back on the saddle and seriously not get emotionally invested in the little things like rejections. My downfall is thinking that this site will help my self worth and while I'm not depressed or anything like that I kinda wanted someone to validate it. It's silly and I shouldn't waste all of your times getting candid about this stuff because this should be a happy tread with happy outcomes, not anger and frustration so for that I am sorry.

 

[y2dvd]

Keep at it. Haha I'll post up some stats for fun.

12/12/12
messangers sent - 17
visitors - 9
only 3 replies back as far as today

Take that ratio as you will!

I actually also got this message from a girl I haven't visited but I'm taking it with a grain of salt and think it's a bot, even tho the pic seems like your average girl.

Hi,
How are you doing? I'm new here. I just read your page now and I liked it, you seem to be a soft, down to earth person. Can we have a conversation? Let me know if you are interested or send a message through my email *emailaddy. I often check email messages more than I check here. Hope to hear from you soon.

Brenda

 

[Perspicacity]

I actually also got this message from a girl I haven't visited but I'm taking it with a grain of salt and think it's a bot, even tho the pic seems like your average girl.

That's the most deadly kind.

 

[Doctor West]

Keep at it. Haha I'll post up some stats for fun.

12/12/12
messangers sent - 17
visitors - 9
only 3 replies back as far as today

Take that ratio as you will!

I actually also got this message from a girl I haven't visited but I'm taking it with a grain of salt and think it's a bot, even tho the pic seems like your average girl.

That message seems like bullshit.

 

[Devolution]

The ones that give you offsite emails in the first message are scammers.

 

[relaxor]

Its so weird seeing so many guys on my viewing list. lol. Thanks to the guy who rated me 5 stars. Does anyone else who have feedback for my profile?


http://www.okcupid.com/profile/JeremiahRR

Hi Obi,

My main comment is: try to disguise some of those negatives as positives. What I mean is, your opening paragraph and the 'all of my friends have left town' statement can come across as fairly negative. I would change it to, 'interested in meeting new people' and then later if you're messaging you can say the friends are gone line. Just makes a better impression I think.

Likewise with the startup stuff in the second section; that's very cool but I would just start the section with your second paragraph about working for Michigan. Sounds cleaner, simpler, and more positive. Girls like that : ) Besides you say later that you're working on a non-profit so you are getting your entrepreneur angle across.

On the same note, I would change the liking Texas more than Michigan thing. Say, 'I'm getting used to Michigan and looking to find more cool things to do' or somesuch.

Other than that you seem honest and nice, so good luck amigo!

relaxor

 

[Ravager61]

Do most girls on this site expect you to message them for a long time or move to texting before asking them out? I messaged a girl last night and she responded quickly and we had a bit of a conversation. Maybe 5 messages a piece back and forth. Just some playful getting to know you stuff.

I sent her a message asking if she'd like to get together for drinks sometime to continue but so far, no reply. Just curious what the expectation is here. I think it's kind of pointless to have a long, drawn out message/texting session before meeting personally. I can't know if I like them without meeting.

 

[Ashhong]

Almost blew it with a girl I was messaging. I accidentally (?) made fun of the fact that she grew up in a small town hours away from civilization and she got really offended. I apologized and explained it was hard to communicate tone over text and that we should probably meet for drinks so it doesn't happen again.
We're going out Saturday.

Liar, it was all part of the plan wasnt it

 

[Doctor West]

I just got a reply back from a girl and 10 minutes later she deletes her profile. WTF, hahaha! It was a nice message too with lots of questions. If somebody blocks you, does that make them look like they deleted their profile? I wonder if she accidently hit the block button next to the message body. Oh well, forging ahead.

 

[RedAssedApe]

Do most girls on this site expect you to message them for a long time or move to texting before asking them out? I messaged a girl last night and she responded quickly and we had a bit of a conversation. Maybe 5 messages a piece back and forth. Just some playful getting to know you stuff.

I sent her a message asking if she'd like to get together for drinks sometime to continue but so far, no reply. Just curious what the expectation is here. I think it's kind of pointless to have a long, drawn out message/texting session before meeting personally. I can't know if I like them without meeting.

Depends on the girl. Some are already meeting up with other dudes while you chat them up online. Some want to talk over the phone before they agree to meet in person. Some of them have no intention of meeting up with any of us at all.

I think most of us are of the opinion that the sooner you ask for their phone number the better? (i.e. people aren't on here to find penpals)

 

[Ravager61]

Depends on the girl. Some are already meeting up with other dudes while you chat them up online. Some want to talk over the phone before they agree to meet in person. Some of them have no intention of meeting up with any of us at all.

I think most of us are of the opinion that the sooner you ask for their phone number the better? (i.e. people aren't on here to find penpals)

Ok cool. That is my philosophy. I don't see much reason to dick around too long messing with messages and the like. A short conversation to make sure they aren't a bot or super weird is all I need.

This is the first girl I've messaged on here so I wasn't sure what the protocol was.

 

[grap3fruitman]

I still can barely get response on here. It's been two years. I don't know how you people manage to get anything.

 

[RedAssedApe]

I still can barely get response on here. It's been two years. I don't know how you people manage to get anything.

I'm pretty sure your experience mirrors the normal male experience when it comes to online dating. Disregard all the stealth bragging going on here from the Brad Pitts of GAF

 

[TheApatheticOne]

I still can barely get response on here. It's been two years. I don't know how you people manage to get anything.

Living in the Cincy area, its pretty much a sea of duckfaces, 3+ kids, or 300 pounders (Im a big guy myself, but regardless, shallow in this regard. At least I admit it.)

I just want a decent looking girl, dont care about money/profession, no kids, who has a kind heart and a sense of humor, and bonuses for liking NFL Football, video games, or being passionate about music. Its slim pickings, even considering that I make them slimmer than I have any right too.

 

[purg3]

I'm pretty sure your experience mirrors the normal male experience when it comes to online dating. Disregard all the stealth bragging going on here from the Fassbender's of GAF

Fixed. ;p

My reply rate isn't that great, but I've had fairly good luck in girls initiating the contact. Which to me doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I'll take it. Pics are so fucking crucial on this site, it's not even funny.

 

[Seth C]

Living in the Cincy area, its pretty much a sea of duckfaces, 3+ kids, or 300 pounders (Im a big guy myself, but regardless, shallow in this regard. At least I admit it.)

I just want a decent looking girl, dont care about money/profession, no kids, who has a kind heart and a sense of humor, and bonuses for liking NFL Football, video games, or being passionate about music. Its slim pickings, even considering that I make them slimmer than I have any right too.

Dude. Look down in Lexington if you want to see miserable. I've expanded my search to your area just to find anyone at all.

 

[Lasthope106]

Fixed. ;p

My reply rate isn't that great, but I've had fairly good luck in girls initiating the contact. Which to me doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but I'll take it. Pics are so fucking crucial on this site, it's not even funny.

This is what I'm finding. I uploaded a picture I thought was pretty good, and I was getting a lot of views, but once I put it on their MyBestface app, the results were abysmal compared to some of the other pictures I had. There was one picture where I was shirtless that got a lot of responses from 18-23 girls, and one where I had a goatee that was very popular with the 30+ ladies. Use that app to maximize your results guys.

 

[Devolution]

Its so weird seeing so many guys on my viewing list. lol. Thanks to the guy who rated me 5 stars. Does anyone else who have feedback for my profile?


http://www.okcupid.com/profile/JeremiahRR

Missed this. Try to inject more humor. Maybe switch up some pics. If they go straight to your pics and don't read captions it looks like you have kids. This might limit your pool. I'm trying to assume that some of these women might be doing cursory glances and so pretty much anything that can be misconstrued should probably be removed.

 

[obijkenobi]

Hi Obi,

My main comment is: try to disguise some of those negatives as positives. What I mean is, your opening paragraph and the 'all of my friends have left town' statement can come across as fairly negative. I would change it to, 'interested in meeting new people' and then later if you're messaging you can say the friends are gone line. Just makes a better impression I think.

Likewise with the startup stuff in the second section; that's very cool but I would just start the section with your second paragraph about working for Michigan. Sounds cleaner, simpler, and more positive. Girls like that : ) Besides you say later that you're working on a non-profit so you are getting your entrepreneur angle across.

On the same note, I would change the liking Texas more than Michigan thing. Say, 'I'm getting used to Michigan and looking to find more cool things to do' or somesuch.

Other than that you seem honest and nice, so good luck amigo!

relaxor

Thank you relaxor. Those are great points about the MI thing. I actually think that would be very hit or miss. Lots of people I've met in MI either really love it and want to stay here their entire life while others can't wait to get out. I'd prefer to leave at some point, but I think it could use some word smithing like you mentioned.

I also think you're right about the first point. Most people know this is a college town, but your idea makes a far better first impression.

Missed this. Try to inject more humor. Maybe switch up some pics. If they go straight to your pics and don't read captions it looks like you have kids. This might limit your pool. I'm trying to assume that some of these women might be doing cursory glances and so pretty much anything that can be misconstrued should probably be removed.

Another good point. I'll swap the pictures around or just flat out replace some of them. I forget that women get flooded with messages and are more likely to move through profiles quickly. Also, thanks for the rating!

As a FYI to everyone, I've had some good luck lately on the site. I met my last ex there (great woman, but she's not in a place where she's ready to seriously date. I'm glad she broke it off) and I have two dates from there this weekend. I've definitely gotten more responses to messages after taking some general advice about profiles here.

 

[Perspicacity]

I still can barely get response on here. It's been two years. I don't know how you people manage to get anything.

So lets see your profile

 

[DrBo42]

Girl with a blank profile and no picture checks me out, shoot her a lame message and she responds. What are the chances she's attractive?

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Girl with a blank profile and no picture checks me out, shoot her a lame message and she responds. What are the chances she's attractive?

Slim

 

[RedAssedApe]

This is what I'm finding. I uploaded a picture I thought was pretty good, and I was getting a lot of views, but once I put it on their MyBestface app, the results were abysmal compared to some of the other pictures I had. There was one picture where I was shirtless that got a lot of responses from 18-23 girls, and one where I had a goatee that was very popular with the 30+ ladies. Use that app to maximize your results guys.

I tried this but after a month mine still says reports pending. How long does this damn thing take?

 

[Spunky Monkey]

Im getting fed up with this. All i want to do is meet new people but it seems IMPOSSIBLE. Everyone says 'Im here to make new friends/find a boyfriend/meet the love of my life' yet i get hardly any replies or what seems to be pitty replies. Out of 100 messages sent i've had about 10 replies, and most of them were single word can't be bothered replies.

You know, the type that just answer your question in your message with no sort of interaction or follow up or any signs they are interested in chatting more.

Its just getting on my nerves now how people say 'message me if you want to make new friends/chat' but then don't reply. I can only guess they are judging me on my looks (as most don't even view my profile) and thinking im too ugly to be in their group of friends. *sigh*. It really does seem like girls only go on the site to get ego boosts and fill out the questions to kill some time and do not in the slightest want to meet anyone. Wish i knew if it was me doing something wrong, or just them.

 

[Bleepey]

Online dating is a time waster for women and mostly a waste of time for men. Just try to learn to deal with it.

 

[y2dvd]

Girl with a blank profile and no picture checks me out, shoot her a lame message and she responds. What are the chances she's attractive?

Never know! Maybe she's super hot and doesn't post a pic so it lessens the chances of guys messaging her!

Spoiler

wishful thinking

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Im getting fed up with this. All i want to do is meet new people but it seems IMPOSSIBLE. Everyone says 'Im here to make new friends/find a boyfriend/meet the love of my life' yet i get hardly any replies or what seems to be pitty replies. Out of 100 messages sent i've had about 10 replies, and most of them were single word can't be bothered replies.

You know, the type that just answer your question in your message with no sort of interaction or follow up or any signs they are interested in chatting more.

Its just getting on my nerves now how people say 'message me if you want to make new friends/chat' but then don't reply. I can only guess they are judging me on my looks (as most don't even view my profile) and thinking im too ugly to be in their group of friends. *sigh*. It really does seem like girls only go on the site to get ego boosts and fill out the questions to kill some time and do not in the slightest want to meet anyone. Wish i knew if it was me doing something wrong, or just them.

Sorry to hear that, man. If you really wanna just MEET PEOPLE, you really should try meetup.com as opposed to OKC.

 

[Ovid]

Man, I messaged the most beautiful woman I've ever seen last night. I'm going in cynical as fuck but I hope replies.

I love mixed race women.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Man, I messaged the most beautiful woman I've ever seen last night. I'm going in cynical as fuck but I hope replies.

I love mixed race women.

make sure you reverse image search her if she does respond to you. lots of scammers

 

[Lasthope106]

I think I need some coaching in regards to what is a good first message. What I've been doing so far is to look at their profile, pick a thing or two and write a message around that. For example, here is the last message I sent. Keep in mind the girl claimed to be a videogame nerd:

I really would like to know if you truly are the videogame nerd you claim to be. So how about a challenge and we play a game of your choice to see who is the best. If you win, you get bragging rights. If I win, I get to take you out. So how about it?

I got no response.

 

[Necrovex]

I think I need some coaching in regards to what is a good first message. What I've been doing so far is to look at their profile, pick a thing or two and write a message around that. For example, here is the last message I sent. Keep in mind the girl claimed to be a videogame nerd:



I got no response.

I probably would have gone the most egotistical route and wrote, "If you win, you get to take me out."

 

[GabDX]

I would have said: "I challenge you to a Pokemon duel! If I win, I take you out. If you win... you get to take me out. Let's do this!"

 

[Cow Mengde]

make sure you reverse image search her if she does respond to you. lots of scammers

What's a good place to do reverse image search?

 

[Maddocks]

What's a good place to do reverse image search?

tineye

if you use firefox, they have an add on that when you right click on a picture it will have an option to reverse image search it instantly without having to go to the site manually.

 

[Ovid]

make sure you reverse image search her if she does respond to you. lots of scammers

I never thought about doing that. Every person I've dated on OKC actually looked like their pics.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

I never thought about doing that. Every person I've dated on OKC actually looked like their pics.

Same here, but I've never really gotten far with girls who are drop-dead gorgeous

Most scammers would only use really hot girls to lure people in

 

[crush7337]

I think I need some coaching in regards to what is a good first message. What I've been doing so far is to look at their profile, pick a thing or two and write a message around that. For example, here is the last message I sent. Keep in mind the girl claimed to be a videogame nerd:



I got no response.

Having gone out with girls who put they play video games in their profile, they get multiple of these messages a day. Need something else to that message to make it stand out or make her laugh. Also messaging them about wanting to take them out in the first message isn't going to go over well, unless you are extremely attractive.

If she mentions specific games try to talk to her about that.

 

[NihonTiger90]

Well, I messaged the girl I knew from high school.

Looks like she recognized me as well, and didn't bother to reply back. Oh well. *shrugs* Onward and upward.

 

[RedAssedApe]

Well, I messaged the girl I knew from high school.

Looks like she recognized me as well, and didn't bother to reply back. Oh well. *shrugs* Onward and upward.

I just recently messaged a girl I knew from college. No response either so far but its only been a day or two.

How do you know she recognized you if she didn't reply back?

 

[Cow Mengde]

Yup, troll message got a response, and exactly the kind I'd expected. It was still pretty damn funny though. I used my real account, BTW.

 

[crush7337]

I never know what to think of when a girl has just "Looking for new friends" in her profile. She's answered dating/sex questions and answered that she's looking for sex rather than love. She seems eager to meet (couple messages back and forth over the course of an hour). Getting some drinks at a bar tonight. Guess I'll see where it goes.

 

[TrAcEr_x90]

Girl I've been dating was on OKcupid to meet friends and date people since she was from another state. She actually got involved with an older married couple 3 times where they took her out for nice dinners and of course they had sex. She said it was fine those few times, but then they wanted her to move into their house, and she wanted to date guys and found that would be a hinderence to meeting people because she would have to be honest of the situation she was in.

So now were dating, and I am very focused on my career and my hobby mma training at night. She wants more sex and attention then 3-4 days out of the week. I said I might not be right for her then. Then we went over options, and maybe her having a side girlfriend and us going over rules and boundaries with that, might help our situation. I didn't know that this goes on, on OKcupid. Do all you run into these profiles? like couple profiles looking for a third lover? has anyone had experiences?

I'm down to try it out and see where it goes.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

I never know what to think of when a girl has just "Looking for new friends" in her profile. She's answered dating/sex questions and answered that she's looking for sex rather than love. She seems eager to meet (couple messages back and forth over the course of an hour). Getting some drinks at a bar tonight. Guess I'll see where it goes.

Nice. Let us know how it goes. The "Looking for new friends" thing in girl's profile is just their way of saying they want to keep it super casual

Girl I've been dating was on OKcupid to meet friends and date people since she was from another state. She actually got involved with an older married couple 3 times where they took her out for nice dinners and of course they had sex. She said it was fine those few times, but then they wanted her to move into their house, and she wanted to date guys and found that would be a hinderence to meeting people because she would have to be honest of the situation she was in.

So now were dating, and I am very focused on my career and my hobby mma training at night. She wants more sex and attention then 3-4 days out of the week. I said I might not be right for her then. Then we went over options, and maybe her having a side girlfriend and us going over rules and boundaries with that, might help our situation. I didn't know that this goes on, on OKcupid. Do all you run into these profiles? like couple profiles looking for a third lover? has anyone had experiences?

I'm down to try it out and see where it goes.

This is a stealth brag post, c'mon.

 

[FairyD]

Damn some of you guys are fucking lucky.

 

[Perspicacity]

Girl I've been dating was on OKcupid to meet friends and date people since she was from another state. She actually got involved with an older married couple 3 times where they took her out for nice dinners and of course they had sex. She said it was fine those few times, but then they wanted her to move into their house, and she wanted to date guys and found that would be a hinderence to meeting people because she would have to be honest of the situation she was in.

So now were dating, and I am very focused on my career and my hobby mma training at night. She wants more sex and attention then 3-4 days out of the week. I said I might not be right for her then. Then we went over options, and maybe her having a side girlfriend and us going over rules and boundaries with that, might help our situation. I didn't know that this goes on, on OKcupid. Do all you run into these profiles? like couple profiles looking for a third lover? has anyone had experiences?

I'm down to try it out and see where it goes.

I've spoken with a couple of girls who were in poly relationships, but I didn't really want to get involved it just seemed too messy and I don't know how I would deal with the jealousy. I've also seen a few profiles of girls who want to set up something like your girl had.
I have seen quite a few couples profiles looking for a third on POF, but only for sex.

 

[TrAcEr_x90]

Nice. Let us know how it goes. The "Looking for new friends" thing in girl's profile is just their way of saying they want to keep it super casual



This is a stealth brag post, c'mon.

Not at all, we just had this talk last night and she mentioned OKcupid quite a bit. For being computer savvy and willing to online date, im surprised I was never on there to begin with. I just wasnt sure if there was really couple profiles on there. I do like the girl I'm dating, I'm just a bit relationship phobic, especially being late twenties. So she really likes me, I can see maybe trying this will bring us closer. Seems thers plenty of room for error though. Wanted to see if anyone else has had experiences similar or out of the norm involving OKcupid.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Not at all, we just had this talk last night and she mentioned OKcupid quite a bit. For being computer savvy and willing to online date, im surprised I was never on there to begin with. I just wasnt sure if there was really couple profiles on there. I do like the girl I'm dating, I'm just a bit relationship phobic, especially being late twenties. So she really likes me, I can see maybe trying this will bring us closer. Seems thers plenty of room for error though. Wanted to see if anyone else has had experiences similar or out of the norm involving OKcupid.

I mean, you should definitely give it a shot, if only just for the experience and to see if you can actually handle a poly relationship

 

[TrAcEr_x90]

I've spoken with a couple of girls who were in poly relationships, but I didn't really want to get involved it just seemed too messy and I don't know how I would deal with the jealousy. I've also seen a few profiles of girls who want to set up something like your girl had.
I have seen quite a few couples profiles looking for a third on POF, but only for sex.

thanks for the reply. Yeah, I can see even just 2 years ago, I would have been like hell no with this sort of situation. But I've been on a good path with opening my mind up to the world around me, traveling, dating girls I normally wouldn't, staying single for a long period of time, pyschedelics, and I can be cool with this situation of it actually happens. As long as we have a long talk and lay down the rules and boundaries.

 

[Maddocks]

Yeah, from the way he worded it and asked a real solid question, it was no way a brag post. If he wanted to brag he would have said,"new to the site, had so much sex. laterz" but he asked if its normal to see things like this. He even said she wants more attn and sex and he was the one who told her he might not be the guy for her.

but to answer the question, not really. I have seen a few profiles that are couples looking only for bi girls, I have seen a profile that said they wanted a guy to move in and have sex with only guys while the girl watched. So things like that are not unheard of. I personally wouldn't get with any girl who wants an open relationship only because I'm a one woman guy, when I'm with a girl shes the only thing on my mind and other girls I pretty much don't see. But that's just me.