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[maverick40]

clubs and bars are for hookups and one night stands. The type of girl you meet at the club, you wouldn't want a relationship with.

That is a load of crap and such a nerdy preconception. So normal nice girls dont go out and have fun? They sit at home all night and read a book is that right? The problem is a confidence issue that is why you resort to the internet because you dont want to put in the effort and face rejection. I met my long term girlfriend in a bar and she didnt want a one night stand, she said what initially attracted her to me was my confidence and i sure as hell didnt get my confidence from an internet dating site.

 

[purg3]

That is a load of crap and such a nerdy preconception. So normal nice girls dont go out and have fun? They sit at home all night and read a book is that right? The problem is a confidence issue that is why you resort to the internet because you dont want to put in the effort and face rejection. I met my long term girlfriend in a bar and she didnt want a one night stand, she said what initially attracted her to me was my confidence and i sure as hell didnt get my confidence from an internet dating site.

So what's the point of bringing this into a thread dedicated for an online dating site. Plenty of people, including myself have met some good people online. Not sure what you're trying to prove here, other than trying to shit up this thread.

 

[Future PhaZe]

That is a load of crap and such a nerdy preconception. So normal nice girls dont go out and have fun? They sit at home all night and read a book is that right? The problem is a confidence issue that is why you resort to the internet because you dont want to put in the effort and face rejection. I met my long term girlfriend in a bar and she didnt want a one night stand, she said what initially attracted her to me was my confidence and i sure as hell didnt get my confidence from an internet dating site.

You're living in 2012 bro. These guys have to face the music of rejection one way or another, be it club or after a first date with someone from the net.

People have the resources now to seek women of common interests rather than blindly asking women out based completely on how attractive they are. I always tell people to mix up
real life approaches and online, but there's nothing wrong with either.

 

[Ashhong]

You're living in 2012 bro. These guys have to face the music of rejection one way or another, be it club or after a first date with someone from the net.

People have the resources now to seek women of common interests rather than blindly asking women out based completely on how attractive they are. I always tell people to mix up
real life approaches and online, but there's nothing wrong with either.

Naw dude, didn't you know? Online dating is only for pimply faced nerds who cant handle sunlight and rejection!

 

[mr.rager]

The type of girl you meet at the club, you wouldn't want a relationship with.

This statement bothers me. I know plenty of people who met their partners in clubs and they're all regular people. My brother met his gf of 3 years in a club and she's pretty damn awesome. Didn't meet my gf in a club but she likes to go clubbing and we've been going out for 2 years now. One of my good friends is a dancer for a club on weekends, on weekdays she is a DM for a telecommunications company. All sorts of people go to clubs, not just the girls you think that go there.

 

[Maddocks]

That is a load of crap and such a nerdy preconception. So normal nice girls dont go out and have fun? They sit at home all night and read a book is that right? The problem is a confidence issue that is why you resort to the internet because you dont want to put in the effort and face rejection. I met my long term girlfriend in a bar and she didnt want a one night stand, she said what initially attracted her to me was my confidence and i sure as hell didnt get my confidence from an internet dating site.

I have all the confidence in the world, online dating is just another form to meet people.

My friend is a club dj, so I speak from personal experience of actually being in the club, seeing how the nice girls act. It doesn't work for me, might work for others, but my personal experiences are not favorable.

 

[Maddocks]

This statement bothers me. I know plenty of people who met their partners in clubs and they're all regular people. My brother met his gf of 3 years in a club and she's pretty damn awesome. Didn't meet my gf in a club but she likes to go clubbing and we've been going out for 2 years now. One of my good friends is a dancer for a club on weekends, on weekdays she is a DM for a telecommunications company. All sorts of people go to clubs, not just the girls you think that go there.

The girls I seen you mean, not think.

 

[mr.rager]

Can't count the number of times i've been to clubs but the amount of nice people I've met exceeds the amount of fake people I've met. Sure, you've had bad luck when you've been there, I got rejected plenty of times in clubs too and met some nasty people but to generalize women that go there is just flat out wrong.

 

[Ashhong]

None of this shit has to do with okcupid and that some of us like having different options available to us. If you don't like said option, feel free to step the fuck out (maverick).

 

[Ultima_5]

Well I'm going to ask her to Skype tonight and see how it goes.

I still can't shake you being a joke character

 

[Maddocks]

Can't count the number of times i've been to clubs but the amount of nice people I've met exceeds the amount of fake people I've met. Sure, you've had bad luck when you've been there, I got rejected plenty of times in clubs too and met some nasty people but to generalize women that go there is just flat out wrong.

I'll always admit when wrong, in this case I was. I didn't mean to toss a lable on ALL women who go to clubs. But the ones I have ran into and talked with are the ones I personally wouldn't want a relationship with.

 

[Ashodin]

I still can't shake you being a joke character

Are you Janeane Garofalo?

So I'm getting her worked up to Skype (she hates cameras a lot), but she definitely said she'll get more pictures to me so I can ogle her, haha.

I don't think anyone who is totally crazy would offer to spend their own money just to see you. Like I said, I think she just cares more about happiness than money. which is not a bad thing at all.

Man it must be an american thing or something but can you not just go to a club and get a nice girl there?

Internet sites are not healthy plus going to clubs/bars will increase your confidence.

Oh and that clingy trait of yours isn't a good thing, you need to keep that in check. Chicks will like that up to a certain point and will then eventually get turned off it.

Before all the other people lambasted you in this thread, I figure I'd better offer my answer. I excel at online confidence rather than real life confidence. It's not that I don't have real life confidence, it's just that typically on the internet people can gauge your intellect and personality before your physical form is seen. This makes intelligence the chief king among desirable traits online, something which I'd like to think I have in spades.

Rather than offer me "can you not find a nice girl in a club" it's more along the lines of my own thinking "I could, but I would not be finding a match. I'd be finding someone who judges me based on what she sees, not what she knows about me." A girl is not going to talk to me especially when I keep up a persona of a geek or a nerd. There is nothing wrong with this - this is how I choose to present myself. Thus, online dating is much more open to those who identify as such, and clubs are typically places for those who are well-dressed and/or oozing with confidence. Someone like me has an infinitely better chance hooking up with someone online than the local club. I can present myself in a manner which is attractive without having to talk to me first.

 

[Ultima_5]

Are you Janeane Garofalo?

So I'm getting her worked up to Skype (she hates cameras a lot), but she definitely said she'll get more pictures to me so I can ogle her, haha.

I don't think anyone who is totally crazy would offer to spend their own money just to see you. Like I said, I think she just cares more about happiness than money. which is not a bad thing at all.

Also be careful hoss. Kidneys are probably worth more than a plane ticket

 

[Maddocks]

eyes are worth a good amount too. a solid liver. first thing is first always check the bathroom, if its filled with ice, bail.

 

[Hackbert]

yay first message sent , first message received... seems OKC starts to spread in good ol´europe more and more.

 

[Ashodin]

eyes are worth a good amount too. a solid liver. first thing is first always check the bathroom, if its filled with ice, bail.

I'm out as soon as I walked in if that happens. But she lives with a roommate, like I said before. Unless they're in on it.

She's also 5' 1". I've never been with someone that short before. It should be very interesting.

 

[mjc]

Have any of you guys dated someone off OKC who's not into intimate things right away? I've gone on two dates with this girl and we've only hugged, which seems kinda bad in most cases. Thing is she mentioned that she was on a date previous to meeting me, (which was her first online date ever) and she was creeped out that the guy went in for a hug at the first date. I'm cool with going at her speed but this is kinda foreign to me. (I haven't talked to her about this yet...not sure if I should?)

 

[Ashodin]

Have any of you guys dated someone off OKC who's not into intimate things right away? I've gone on two dates with this girl and we've only hugged, which seems kinda bad in most cases. Thing is she mentioned that she was on a date previous to meeting me, (which was her first online date ever) and she was creeped out that the guy went in for a hug at the first date. I'm cool with going at her speed but this is kinda foreign to me. (I haven't talked to her about this yet...not sure if I should?)

You shouldn't bring this up to her unless you want it to end quickly. She's obviously new to this whole thing, and if you want to be with her, listen to her wishes and take it slow.

Typically you get into intimacy right away from OKC because the tension is built and you know a lot about someone before you meet (so you don't have to go through the talking usually before intimacy in real life encounters).

 

[NaughtyCalibur]

Have any of you guys dated someone off OKC who's not into intimate things right away? I've gone on two dates with this girl and we've only hugged, which seems kinda bad in most cases. Thing is she mentioned that she was on a date previous to meeting me, (which was her first online date ever) and she was creeped out that the guy went in for a hug at the first date. I'm cool with going at her speed but this is kinda foreign to me. (I haven't talked to her about this yet...not sure if I should?)

That is weird. Honestly hugging is something that many people do after meeting for the first time if they got along, even if there's no desire for a relationship and often regardless of gender (bro hug, ya know). I don't want to look into it too deeply since I never met this girl and wasn't there during her date (maybe that dude was giving off creeper vibes), but that sounds like a possible red flag. I wouldn't confront her about it though, just ride it out and see what happens.

Anyway, I just set up my account out of curiosity to see the kind of girls in my area (Cleveland/Lakeword). I expected to get nothing good, but holy shit so many hot, nerdy girls who are into the same stuff I am (Breaking Bad, Misfits (TV show), video games, Japanese culture, etc). Not really interested in dating right now though, especially since I've got one foot outside of Ohio already and am not trying to stay here past '13, but it's definitely eye-opening.

It's also kind of sad that I always shrugged off online dating, instead opting to go out to bars/clubs and get nothing but one night stands and horribly toxic relationships with raging alcoholics and pathological liars. I may have very well missed a really nice girl... or dodged a bullet wherein I'd wake up in a bathtub filled with ice sans kidney. Either way, I now recognize online dating as a viable alternative/supplement to the usual grind.

 

[Ashodin]

I'll let you in on a secret: I don't jump after women unless I verify they're not crazy. I just don't do crazy.

 

[Ashhong]

Have any of you guys dated someone off OKC who's not into intimate things right away? I've gone on two dates with this girl and we've only hugged, which seems kinda bad in most cases. Thing is she mentioned that she was on a date previous to meeting me, (which was her first online date ever) and she was creeped out that the guy went in for a hug at the first date. I'm cool with going at her speed but this is kinda foreign to me. (I haven't talked to her about this yet...not sure if I should?)

Other Ash is wrong, definitely bring it up, but not in a judgmental way. If she mentioned before her position on it then she's ok to talk about it. Just say it inquisitively and say everything you said here. That you are completely fine with going at her speed but it's foreign territory to you. A good girl will explain and it will be cool

 

[johnny_park]

I'll let you in on a secret: I don't jump after women unless I verify they're not crazy. I just don't do crazy.

If I looked like you I'd do anything

 

[Interficium]

Man it must be an american thing or something but can you not just go to a club and get a nice girl there?

Depends on the city.

But generally, if you're on the west coast of the United States... forget it.

 

[Ashodin]

If I looked like you I'd do anything

And be dead already? I think not.

 

[8byte]

I'll let you in on a secret: I don't jump after women unless I verify they're not crazy. I just don't do crazy.

I can't buy this. I mean, you've seen pictures and heard this girls voice, apparently, and yet you're flying a good distance to see her? Have you skyped? Talked on the phone? How do you know anything she's said is true?

Call me a skeptic, but I don't think you can verify someone is not crazy in two short nights.

 

[kiryogi]

So I've been playing the game all wrong. Tonight, ended up having a group meet up with my sister and her bf. Had a fantastic time. I've been playing it way too cold.

 

[Future Foundation]

So, I completely misread every sign I got with the girl I met on OKC.

Like I mentioned, we'd had (I thought) a good time last week, and we made plans to meet up again this weekend. After we left, she went to visit her family for the holidays, & just got back on Thursday morning. I texted her (we'd done so briefly over the holidays - I didn't want to swarm all over her while she was with her family), & had small talk. I wanted to know if we were still on for the weekend. She then let me know (after apologizing repeatedly for "bad timing", "not doing this earlier" & being "bad with this stuff") that she felt no romantic attraction towards me, but she still wanted to hang out as friends sometime.

I told her it was fine, and she apologized again. So, there's no second face-to-face meeting, and I doubt that there'll be one.

 

[Ashodin]

I can't buy this. I mean, you've seen pictures and heard this girls voice, apparently, and yet you're flying a good distance to see her? Have you skyped? Talked on the phone? How do you know anything she's said is true?

Call me a skeptic, but I don't think you can verify someone is not crazy in two short nights.

I've talked to her on the phone many times, but I didn't get to skype tonight. She needs to find her webcam. I did get new pictures of her (confirmed taken by looking at the picture info). She's really cute.

So, I completely misread every sign I got with the girl I met on OKC.

Like I mentioned, we'd had (I thought) a good time last week, and we made plans to meet up again this weekend. After we left, she went to visit her family for the holidays, & just got back on Thursday morning. I texted her (we'd done so briefly over the holidays - I didn't want to swarm all over her while she was with her family), & had small talk. I wanted to know if we were still on for the weekend. She then let me know (after apologizing repeatedly for "bad timing", "not doing this earlier" & being "bad with this stuff") that she felt no romantic attraction towards me, but she still wanted to hang out as friends sometime.

I told her it was fine, and she apologized again. So, there's no second face-to-face meeting, and I doubt that there'll be one.

Dude that fucking blows bro. That really blows. At least you know now to start grinding again. She might have just needed you for emotional support during the holidays.

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

How do you guys get replies on OKC?

 

[Az987]

You know what's awesome? When women reply back but give you nothing to work with.

One word replies are the best!

 

[Messypandas]

You know what's awesome? When women reply back but give you nothing to work with.

One word replies are the best!

Not to be mean but I typically see that as a polite "thanks, but leave me alone".

 

[Phantast2k]

How do you guys get replies on OKC?

Wait. A lot of people either don't log in for a while or play that "you're just merely an option" game or you're really just an option and they reply once they went through better ones or don't reply at all.

Not to be mean but I typically see that as a polite "thanks, but leave me alone".

Yep.

 

[Az987]

Maybe but they usually stop replying if they aren't interested at all. I just started talking to one girl that is drop dead gorgeous an hour ago.

We already skyped. Well, I skyped and she sent me pictures.

A lot of pictures. My God.

A video too!

 

[twilitesparklemotion]

You know what's awesome? When women reply back but give you nothing to work with.

Yes, this too. Probably correct that it's a "please leave me alone."

 

[Sarye]

I remember Ashodin when he used to be MaxRPG. No one is saying it won't work out Ashodin but…

Ahahahaha you guys are crazy. You see I think I found a girl who wants a clingy guy.

No this girl is exactly like me, once she gets into something she obsesses over it and is very intense, and I think she really really likes me.

She is basically telling me everything about her, and unfortunately she has a migraine today and can't hang out, but is willing to hang out first thing tomorrow morning (and all day) before I have to work, so while that sucks, I think I can handle some more space before getting all into her. Which I feel like once we meet it's going to be like two magnets on opposite ends. Just stuck together by magnetic pull.

I like your style, sir. However, I am not a joke poster. I have gotten people to tell me I look like McLuvin.

However, I will say one thing: every person is different, and every relationship is different. What works for one doesn't work for another.

The fact that her and I match up so closely is entirely the reason why it's working so well, and it's not like I'm over there every day. Sunday was a very limited time spent with her - we met, we ate, we coalesced, and today is going to be extended time with her - to see if we really click as much as we do in a limited setting. I really think it will work out though, she's exactly like me, and I can anticipate her needs accordingly.

I don't get what's so hard about it - haven't you ever heard of love at first sight? Or even the poster earlier in this thread who married his wife in 2 months of meeting her. That is incredibly fast.

Another Girl

I guess? Another quick update from me?

She's totally my girlfriend and she loves the hell out of me. And I love the hell out of her too.

I think I finally found the one, guys.

And now the current girl. Given your post history I would say to definitely skype first and just take your time with it. You seem to have a habit of blowing your load too quick though I do admire your enthusiasm. Still, you need to learn to protect your heart. You are going to get hurt.

 

[Interficium]

My inbox right now looks like a collection of robeasts. Sigh.

 

[Future PhaZe]

Have any of you guys dated someone off OKC who's not into intimate things right away? I've gone on two dates with this girl and we've only hugged, which seems kinda bad in most cases. Thing is she mentioned that she was on a date previous to meeting me, (which was her first online date ever) and she was creeped out that the guy went in for a hug at the first date. I'm cool with going at her speed but this is kinda foreign to me. (I haven't talked to her about this yet...not sure if I should?)

its amazing how impatient guys can be after fapping for however many years they did before having sex.

It's like, seriously, a girl is digging you, sex is guaranteed if you just wait. Be patient.

 

[LumpOfCole]

Skype / Webcam chat is an absolute requirement before I even think of meeting anyone in hopes of romance.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Skype / Webcam chat is an absolute requirement before I even think of meeting anyone in hopes of romance.

Because that romance might actually turn out to be a bromance.

Plus look at things in the background of the room, anything out of the ordinary like meat hooks, chains, a saw... are the walls splattered with a red or brown substance that could be blood.

 

[Ohwiseone]

So, I totally jumped into OKC with both feet. Main reason is because my last relationship screwed up my confidence so much, I feel that at this moment, it is better if I do this.


I haven't gotten any replies or anything. yet, I have messaged a few girls, and looked a few profiles, but nothing yet.

So, I am just going to wait and keep trying, I have hope that someone will either A) message me or b) message me back.


Is it worth it to do the monthly thing on OKC?

 

[Flying Toaster]

So, I totally jumped into OKC with both feet. Main reason is because my last relationship screwed up my confidence so much, I feel that at this moment, it is better if I do this.


I haven't gotten any replies or anything. yet, I have messaged a few girls, and looked a few profiles, but nothing yet.

So, I am just going to wait and keep trying, I have hope that someone will either A) message me or b) message me back.


Is it worth it to do the monthly thing on OKC?

How badly is your confidence damaged? I find friends and beer to be a good confidence booster.

 

[Messypandas]

So, I totally jumped into OKC with both feet. Main reason is because my last relationship screwed up my confidence so much, I feel that at this moment, it is better if I do this.


I haven't gotten any replies or anything. yet, I have messaged a few girls, and looked a few profiles, but nothing yet.

So, I am just going to wait and keep trying, I have hope that someone will either A) message me or b) message me back.


Is it worth it to do the monthly thing on OKC?

A better option, go through the quick matches and rate a bunch of profiles. Not only will this help you to get rated back, but it can provoke a few messages to help get your ball rolling.

 

[Ohwiseone]

How badly is your confidence damaged? I find friends and beer to be a good confidence booster.

Lets just say, she was someone who I was with for too long and made me lose a LOT of friends in the process. So I am essentially starting from scratch at rebuilding friendships and confidence.

She really controlled what I did and how I felt and who I was with for 2 years. So, needless to say its a slow process.

 

[Future PhaZe]

Is it worth it to do the monthly thing on OKC?

Nah, it's only use is to visit pages without people knowing. The different search types are pretty worthless. They've got the dumbest amount of search types except the one you actually WANT, which is "find girls who reply often".

Just be patient is what I'd say about OKC. And prepare to get mad. You'll get some shots, but you'll get mad before something good comes of it. Just be ready.

 

[Ohwiseone]

Nah, it's only use is to visit pages without people knowing. The different search types are pretty worthless. They've got the dumbest amount of search types except the one you actually WANT, which is "find girls who reply often".

Just be patient is what I'd say about OKC. And prepare to get mad. You'll get some shots, but you'll get mad before something good comes of it. Just be ready.

Alright thank you, I though about it but, I knew that this topic would know better than me waisting 15 bucks a month.

 

[Future PhaZe]

Alright thank you, I though about it but, I knew that this topic would know better than me waisting 15 bucks a month.

Other than that just go with your gutt. It's okay to settle on some dates because you've been in a dry spell, but there are going to be certain ones, and you'll know it in your gutt, that are going to be a waste of time and gas.

 

[Az987]

Because that romance might actually turn out to be a bromance.

Plus look at things in the background of the room, anything out of the ordinary like meat hooks, chains, a saw... are the walls splattered with a red or brown substance that could be blood.

lol sure there's that but IMO it makes the first time you meet in person much less awkward.

 

[crush7337]

Have any of you guys dated someone off OKC who's not into intimate things right away? I've gone on two dates with this girl and we've only hugged, which seems kinda bad in most cases. Thing is she mentioned that she was on a date previous to meeting me, (which was her first online date ever) and she was creeped out that the guy went in for a hug at the first date. I'm cool with going at her speed but this is kinda foreign to me. (I haven't talked to her about this yet...not sure if I should?)

Went on 3 dates with a girl and we only hugged. No other body contact whatsoever other then the goodbye hug. Asked me the next day if I wanted to come over for dinner and a movie. Guess some switch flipped in her because as soon as we hit her bed to watch the movie she initiated spooning with me right away and then made out/groped each other afterwards for about half an hour.

That was her (and my) first time meeting someone online. Just be patient, it takes some people longer to warm up to being intimate with someone, especially if its someone they just met online.

 

[Alfarif]

How do you guys get replies on OKC?

I messaged about 13 people last night and got 4-5 replies today. I don't think about opening lines, I just look at something in their profile I want to talk about. One girl saw Stardust so I said to her "I thought I was the only one who saw Stardust! I tell my friends about it and they look at me like I'm crazy." This led to a conversation about Robert DeNiro, Firefly, Doctor Who and Torchwood, D&D, Magic the Gathering, and nerdcore hip hop. She's actually listening to my stuff on SoundCloud as we speak.

With another girl, I talked about tattoos. She's not as responsive as the girl above, but it's still a decent conversation.

Another girl I identified the camera she was using in one of her pictures, noticed she is going to school for photo journalism, and interned at a music magazine. My opening was something along the lines of "I love the 5D love in your photo! What lenses do you regularly use?" yadda yadda. Her reply back was a comment about how I picked up on the camera by its body and we messaged back and forth about music, magazines, and filmmaking.

You have to remember that women are human and share the exact same interests as you. Also remember that people like to talk about themselves. Just talk to them like normal. You don't have to craft some weird, epic paragraph to hook anyone.

Oh, to help with replies, sort your matches by their match percentage and friend level then just cruise and figure out who you want to talk to. That really helps.

 

[Ashodin]

I remember Ashodin when he used to be MaxRPG. No one is saying it won't work out Ashodin but…





Another Girl



And now the current girl. Given your post history I would say to definitely skype first and just take your time with it. You seem to have a habit of blowing your load too quick though I do admire your enthusiasm. Still, you need to learn to protect your heart. You are going to get hurt.

Thanks for the opinions bro. We'll see what happens with this girl, and I never would have expected in a million years for her to suggest paying for a ticket for me to come see her.