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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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P

purg3

slept with Malkin
Laekon said:
So do women ever message first? I've had two women in my area rate my profile which I take as a sign to message them. I haven't sent any messages yet as I just got my profile going. I'm also a little concerned about doing it so close to New Years like its a resolution for some reason.

I don't think of myself as some awesome catch nor do I think I am picky about women but damn there are some broke down women on this site. Some of them have to be lying about their age cause a 33yr old women can't look that run down.
Click to expand...

Last 3 people I went out with all messaged me first, and just started talking to another girl that messaged me first a few days ago. These were kind of the exception because they were all pretty good looking, where as most of the other ones I get I usually don't respond to. I've had more luck this way, than actually sending out messages myself. I'll take it though.
 
V

velvet_nitemare

Member
My OKC game took a huge dip towards the end of last year. Lots of profile views, but no responses. I gave up and just stopped messaging people. To be fair, i'm sort of dating a girl i met on OKC, but could always use more girls in rotation.

Hope 2013 sees an uptick.
 
T

theignoramus

Member
I like how match.com does that racial preference thing, if OKCupid and POF let people publicly display that, it would spare alot of us the time and embarrassment of sending out messages to girls not into certain demographics, lol.
 
V

velvet_nitemare

Member
theignoramus said:
I like how match.com does that racial preference thing, if OKCupid and POF let people publicly display that, it would spare alot of us the time and embarrassment of sending out messages to girls not into certain demographics, lol.
Click to expand...

Agreed. I don't begrudge girls having preferences, hell i've got mine as well. Hate wasting my time though.
 
F

Future PhaZe

Member
That would be helpful but most girls on that site have zero intention of actually meeting a guy.

I decided to do an experiment a while back and made a nice profile literally using pics of a male model.

Didn't even get much more play than I do now. There was a little uptick in girls actually initiating conversation, but just small words like "hey", and what not.

I'm actually starting to think that okc and online dating are pretty bad ideas in general.
 
S

SteeloDMZ

Banned
Fuck, I've been talking with a gorgeous looking girl who's one year older than me (She's 23). Her profile says that she has her own place, a car and in the yearly income section it says $40000 - $60000. It makes me feel kinda bad that I'm faaaaar from where she is......... But this is just an excuse and I should set up a date with her anyway, right?
 
D

Deadly Cyclone

Pride of Iowa State
Been talking to a girl for a few weeks now and she seems pretty cool. We message back and forth a lot and I've talked about setting up a meet up. She noted she'd like to do that eventually but would like to talk more now. I guess I just slow play it until she's ready.

It's really been my only luck on the site so far.
 
V

velvet_nitemare

Member
Deadly Cyclone said:
Been talking to a girl for a few weeks now and she seems pretty cool. We message back and forth a lot and I've talked about setting up a meet up. She noted she'd like to do that eventually but would like to talk more now. I guess I just slow play it until she's ready.

It's really been my only luck on the site so far.
Click to expand...

Don't put all your focus on her. You'll feel like you wasted your time if she never agrees to a meet.
 
F

Future PhaZe

Member
Deadly Cyclone said:
Been talking to a girl for a few weeks now and she seems pretty cool. We message back and forth a lot and I've talked about setting up a meet up. She noted she'd like to do that eventually but would like to talk more now. I guess I just slow play it until she's ready.

It's really been my only luck on the site so far.
Click to expand...

Slow the convo down and make it pretty clear that you're done with small chat unless she initiates something.
 
S

SteeloDMZ

Banned
Deadly Cyclone said:
Been talking to a girl for a few weeks now and she seems pretty cool. We message back and forth a lot and I've talked about setting up a meet up. She noted she'd like to do that eventually but would like to talk more now. I guess I just slow play it until she's ready.

It's really been my only luck on the site so far.
Click to expand...

Try to not talk tooooo much before actually meeting here. When you actually meet her, you could be out of topics and she won't find you as intriguing any ore.
 
GrayFoxPL

GrayFoxPL

Member
Deadly Cyclone said:
Been talking to a girl for a few weeks now and she seems pretty cool. We message back and forth a lot and I've talked about setting up a meet up. She noted she'd like to do that eventually but would like to talk more now. I guess I just slow play it until she's ready.

It's really been my only luck on the site so far.
Click to expand...

ibm7B83vVm2HX8.jpg
 
L

Lucis

Member
SteeloDMZ said:
Fuck, I've been talking with a gorgeous looking girl who's one year older than me (She's 23). Her profile says that she has her own place, a car and in the yearly income section it says $40000 - $60000. It makes me feel kinda bad that I'm faaaaar from where she is......... But this is just an excuse and I should set up a date with her anyway, right?
Click to expand...

Where is this?

A college grad with a decent major coming out of most place can easily find a job at 60k+. A car and a place (assume rent) really is pretty normal IMO...
 
R

Rodney McKay

Member
I went a little messaging crazy over the holidays. I probably messaged a 15 woman over the last week or so.

Now I've got conversations going with three different people. I've got a date with one of them when she gets back from the east coast, and I asked for another one's number last night (hope she responds tonight, she is crazy gorgeous).


I haven't had any lasting success on OKCupid over the last year or so (I wasn't active while I was unemployed for half of last year), but I have dated a total of about 5 so far. Now that I'm out of school, making money, and have my own place I feel a lot better about getting a more long term relationship.

I still feel like I don't get as many responses as I would like from my messages (which I usually put a bit of effort in).
If anyone could critique my profile I would appreciate the feedback: okcupid.com/profile/benthebenster
 
F

False Witness

Member
Damn it, I think I just sent the same message to two sisters. I wasn't really thinking about it because they are like 50 miles apart from each other. I normally don't do the whole copy & paste thing, but I do like to send a message in Spanish if I see it listed in their languages section and I don't know a whole lot, so I send one telling about my limited knowledge of the language.

Seems like my area is filled with people who all know each other. A few sets of twins and a lot of profiles that have pics of other people on OKC.
 
F

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
I deactivated my profile a little ways back because I lived in a really small/limited area and it wasn't generating any help for me at all. Not very many good, close choices, or even choices in general.

However, I'm heading out to the San Francisco/Silicon Valley area this month for a spring internship. I'm considering reactivating it because, well, the Bay Area would almost guaranteed to be better in terms of number of people. I bring it up because I'm concerned about:

1. I'm only there for the Spring and probably never gonna be back on the west coast (for the foreseeable future) and I'm not really interested in things that are only going to be one night things, etc.

2. I've never lived in a city/metro anywhere close to this big before. While I know this could be a good chance for me to explore new places and meet new people, I'm concerned about my safety and the like when I have no idea about what areas are good or safe or whatnot.

Any thoughts or am I just being kinda a worry-wort?
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
FelixOrion said:
I deactivated my profile a little ways back because I lived in a really small/limited area and it wasn't generating any help for me at all. Not very many good, close choices, or even choices in general.

However, I'm heading out to the San Francisco/Silicon Valley area this month for a spring internship. I'm considering reactivating it because, well, the Bay Area would almost guaranteed to be better in terms of number of people. I bring it up because I'm concerned about:

1. I'm only there for the Spring and probably never gonna be back on the west coast (for the foreseeable future) and I'm not really interested in things that are only going to be one night things, etc.

2. I've never lived in a city/metro anywhere close to this big before. While I know this could be a good chance for me to explore new places and meet new people, I'm concerned about my safety and the like when I have no idea about what areas are good or safe or whatnot.

Any thoughts or am I just being kinda a worry-wort?
Click to expand...

Nothing wrong with trying to meet new people in a new area, even if it is temporary. But if all you care about is making new friends maybe you should reach out to Bay Area GAF for friends and suggestions and cool places
 
K

kiryogi

Banned
velvet_nitemare said:
My OKC game took a huge dip towards the end of last year. Lots of profile views, but no responses. I gave up and just stopped messaging people. To be fair, i'm sort of dating a girl i met on OKC, but could always use more girls in rotation.

Hope 2013 sees an uptick.
Click to expand...

I'm sort of in the same boat now. Especially since the girl I'm starting to see deactivated her profile as well. Figures when she does that when I do get other replies, I decide to go cold on it instead to respect her choice >_< Finally replied back to the new girl, but I left her cold like a week plus lol. It's still a bit of a game with the current girl, but I'm trying my best to be patient.

But yeah, I do need to work on a rotation at least until things do finally get serious.
 
F

FelixOrion

Poet Centuriate
WascallyWabbit said:
Nothing wrong with trying to meet new people in a new area, even if it is temporary. But if all you care about is making new friends maybe you should reach out to Bay Area GAF for friends and suggestions and cool places
Click to expand...

I was thinking about doing that anyways, but I suppose that's probably a strike against reactivation because I'd rather not use OKC for solely friendships, imo.
 
Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
SteeloDMZ said:
Fuck, I've been talking with a gorgeous looking girl who's one year older than me (She's 23). Her profile says that she has her own place, a car and in the yearly income section it says $40000 - $60000. It makes me feel kinda bad that I'm faaaaar from where she is......... But this is just an excuse and I should set up a date with her anyway, right?
Click to expand...

dare to fail. Why limit yourself because of superficial things? Dont have a car, say you are going green. Don't have a place alone, say your saving money. Don't have a 40k a year job, say you are still in school. If she likes you and you connect. Things will work out.
 
V

velvet_nitemare

Member
kiryogi said:
I'm sort of in the same boat now. Especially since the girl I'm starting to see deactivated her profile as well. Figures when she does that when I do get other replies, I decide to go cold on it instead to respect her choice >_< Finally replied back to the new girl, but I left her cold like a week plus lol. It's still a bit of a game with the current girl, but I'm trying my best to be patient.

But yeah, I do need to work on a rotation at least until things do finally get serious.
Click to expand...

Yea, my girl deactivated her profile after our first date, but she never asked me whether or not i'm still on there. I figure until we have the talk to be exclusive with each other i can do whatever i want. So can she to be fair.
 
S

SteeloDMZ

Banned
Rodney McKay said:
I went a little messaging crazy over the holidays. I probably messaged a 15 woman over the last week or so.

Now I've got conversations going with three different people. I've got a date with one of them when she gets back from the east coast, and I asked for another one's number last night (hope she responds tonight, she is crazy gorgeous).


I haven't had any lasting success on OKCupid over the last year or so (I wasn't active while I was unemployed for half of last year), but I have dated a total of about 5 so far. Now that I'm out of school, making money, and have my own place I feel a lot better about getting a more long term relationship.

I still feel like I don't get as many responses as I would like from my messages (which I usually put a bit of effort in).
If anyone could critique my profile I would appreciate the feedback: okcupid.com/profile/benthebenster
Click to expand...

Out of curiosity, are you messaging older girls or younger?
 
F

Future PhaZe

Member
Rodney McKay said:
I still feel like I don't get as many responses as I would like from my messages (which I usually put a bit of effort in).
If anyone could critique my profile I would appreciate the feedback: okcupid.com/profile/benthebenster
Click to expand...

The only that that stood out to me in a bad way was this:

I like to think I'm pretty open to anything. Some days I'm perfectly happy to sit at home watching T.V. or going out with friends, but other days I'll be up for anything. It doesn't take much to twist my arm and get me to do something.
Click to expand...

There's a real "I'm a follower" mentality to this statement. Women are more attracted to men that can take charge and initiate things. This sort of statement gives off the idea of, sure, you can get me to do something new. I'm a follower, not a leader.

Rather, you want it to seem like you're going out and doing these things with or without anyone else. Maybe that's not you so much right now, but maybe it needs to be you in the future, or at least you can try to be a bit more specific about what that "up for anything" is about.
 
B

Bagerk

Member
I set up my account a few years ago as a bit of a joke with some terrible photos just to see if there was anyone who would actually message me. Received a few and then deactivated the account. Reactivated it last week and put some slightly less terrible photos but kept the same text and have received a fairly consistent stream of messages and phone numbers. Haven't gotten around to organising any meet ups though.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/dustycupboard
 
R

Rodney McKay

Member
SteeloDMZ said:
Out of curiosity, are you messaging older girls or younger?
Click to expand...
I'm 24 and I look for woman between 20–29. Under 20 and it feels a little weird to me (plus it's a bit of a wait before they can go to bars legally), and over 29 just feels a little too far out for me at the moment. No real consistency to what ages respond more to my messages.

Dark FaZe said:
The only that that stood out to me in a bad way was this:



There's a real "I'm a follower" mentality to this statement. Women are more attracted to men that can take charge and initiate things. This sort of statement gives off the idea of, sure, you can get me to do something new. I'm a follower, not a leader.

Rather, you want it to seem like you're going out and doing these things with or without anyone else. Maybe that's not you so much right now, but maybe it needs to be you in the future, or at least you can try to be a bit more specific about what that "up for anything" is about.
Click to expand...

Nice catch, I can definitely see how that can come across with that sentence.
 
A

Ashodin

Member
One of the things I hate is how men are expected to initiate. I hate that about our gender profiling.

I can initiate with the rest of them but some women are looking for you to initiate EVERY SINGLE TIME. And it gets fucking annoying.

January 11th is when I'm going to Minnesota, gents. She paid for the ticket and everything. Hooray!
 
S

SteeloDMZ

Banned
Ashodin said:
One of the things I hate is how men are expected to initiate. I hate that about our gender profiling.

I can initiate with the rest of them but some women are looking for you to initiate EVERY SINGLE TIME. And it gets fucking annoying.

January 11th is when I'm going to Minnesota, gents. She paid for the ticket and everything. Hooray!
Click to expand...

She's getting a pair of kidneys for pretty cheap I guess ;)
 
Maddocks

Maddocks

Member
SteeloDMZ said:
She's getting a pair of kidneys for pretty cheap I guess ;)
Click to expand...

don't forget a liver and eyes.

good luck man. be confident in all aspects, I remember you saying you can fake the confidence online(or something to that effect) so do it in real life now, remember she paid you to see her. no going back now. enjoy yourself. take pictures.
 
C

crush7337

Banned
Curious, if you guys don't feel any connection after 1 date do you usually ask for a 2nd one? I think everyone I've met off OKC, I've never felt any intimate feelings after 1 date, even with the girls I dated long term. It usually takes me 2 or 3 dates before I warm up to someone.

Had a date last night and it was fun, but again didn't feel any spark. The conversation was good and we seemed to have a lot in common. She replied to me after that she had a great time but didn't feel any romantic chemistry. She also brought it up to me that she's never felt any chemistry with guys she sees from OKC, but she never gives any of them a 2nd date. I told her maybe a 2nd date would help, since that's usually what I need before I feel any attachment to someone I met online. She doesn't think it would be fair to me to bring me on a 2nd date if she's not into me in that way.

Oh well, I have 2 potential dates coming up. 1 on Sunday, the other still undetermined. Not as invested in them as the girl from last night, but maybe lower expectations will help.
 
F

Future PhaZe

Member
crush7337 said:
Had a date last night and it was fun, but again didn't feel any spark. The conversation was good and we seemed to have a lot in common. She replied to me after that she had a great time but didn't feel any romantic chemistry. She also brought it up to me that she's never felt any chemistry with guys she sees from OKC, but she never gives any of them a 2nd date. I told her maybe a 2nd date would help, since that's usually what I need before I feel any attachment to someone I met online. She doesn't think it would be fair to me to bring me on a 2nd date if she's not into me in that way.

Oh well, I have 2 potential dates coming up. 1 on Sunday, the other still undetermined. Not as invested in them as the girl from last night, but maybe lower expectations will help.
Click to expand...

Women can find out right away how they view you, whether its in a platonic light or not. As for me yea, I've got a pretty damn good idea of what a girl and I can be after 1 date.

I usually have no problem taking women out on a date if we have a ton of similar interests. For women who I'm attracted to but don't have a lot in common with I almost go for a phone call first. No reason for her to get a free dinner out of me if I can avoid it.
 
T

theignoramus

Member
Dark FaZe said:
That would be helpful but most girls on that site have zero intention of actually meeting a guy.

I decided to do an experiment a while back and made a nice profile literally using pics of a male model.

Didn't even get much more play than I do now. There was a little uptick in girls actually initiating conversation, but just small words like "hey", and what not.

I'm actually starting to think that okc and online dating are pretty bad ideas in general.
Click to expand...

I just made a profile with a friend of mine's pic. Hes a reasonably good looking dude, but not a supermodel or anything, just like me. the profile i made is identical to mine. new to the city, looking to meet cool people, love movies, blah blah blah.
anyway, starting conversations with girls was incredibly easy and in a 12 hours my fake profile had twice as many views as my real profile got in a month. Some ugly women, some good looking, decent mix. oh yeah, almost forgot, my friend is white. lol, that shit makes a drastic difference in the women even willing to look your way, let alone talk to you, at least on POF and in my area.
 
F

Future PhaZe

Member
theignoramus said:
Some ugly women, some good looking, decent mix. oh yeah, almost forgot, my friend is white. lol, that shit makes a drastic difference in the women even willing to look your way, let alone talk to you, at least on POF and in my area.
Click to expand...

pof is generally a shitbox anyway, but sad to hear that
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
Kozak said:
don't really do this stuff and don't really feel I have trouble meeting girls but had nothing to do today and thought I'd play around.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Abosay

Quiver is terrible. Gave me 3 bisexual girls...
Click to expand...

Gave you a 5 star. You should change or delete the main pic you have now, it's not nearly as good as your other two

Also, many girls on this site are bi-curious (and in general), so you shouldn't be hesitant to message bi-girls
 
J

Jrmint

Member
Considering making a profile on Match.com for the new year.

The quality of people I met in 2012 was not very good and thought maybe on a site you have to pay for people would take it a little more seriously.

Anyone have any experience with Match as compared to OKC?
 
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