grap3fruitman
Banned
What conclusion would you come to then?
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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Yeah, I find this too a lot of the time.
Well, it seems to get in little spurts with me. For days at a time I wont get anything and then out of no where I'll get like 6 unsolicited messages in one day.
manipulate
Member
You must be extremely attractive
Do you find yourself appealing?
Maybe, I don't know. It might be because I put I'm a philosopher. Chicks dig philosophers.
grap3fruitman
Banned
It's because he's Tupac. Duh.
Duh.
No but I do use pof more. I don't know what I'm doing wrong on OKC actually.
I have no idea how I can get around 25 unsolicited views in a day on POF and like 2 on OKC. It doesn't make sense to me.
There's your problem. And are you just ignoring our request for your profile or are you uncomfortable with posting it?
grap3fruitman
Banned
Welp, let me just pick from one of the many differents lives I have to choose from instead of this one.
The latter.
Perspicacity
Banned
A lot of people will tell you "never stick your dick in crazy", but research has also taught me that crazy people fuck the best so I say you roll that dice.
Necromanti
Member
Well, it's certainly not a matter of attractiveness. But I understand your frustration.
For me, irl still is better. I think there's more competition for girls to filter through online and it's hard to stand out. No arguing that online is more convenient though.
grap3fruitman
Banned
So going to die alone. Kthx.
grap3fruitman
Banned
Welp, I'm really depressed and I'm angry on top of that. I see everyone else around me find happiness while I continue to grow more and more alone and depressed each day. How come I got the shit end of the stick? What did I do to deserve never having a happy waking moment?
I was getting more play on Zoosk, myself, as opposed to OKC. But Zoosk sucks balls, so ... I ended up deleting all of my accounts anyway. LOL
My man, you need to calm down really fast. A couple things that you need to keep in mind: 1) you need to have some confidence in yourself; try to be funny or witty without being demeaning 2) realize that not everybody is going to live everyone; c'est la vie. Look, I have some of the lowest self esteem on the planet but the highest confidence. How? Because, while I might hate myself and think I'm an awful as fuck person, you would NEVER know it since I feel that the things I do are awesome. I also stopped wearing my depressive emotions on my sleeve and I'm all smiles and laughs. A scary though: I would probably be the guy who killed himself and no one ever saw it coming. You need to be more open, friendly, and welcoming, but know that, even then, you're not going to be right for 100% of the people out there, okay? But realize that, if your posts in this thread are ANY indication of how you're acting while trying to court someone, you're turning every body off by your attitude. Period.
NobleGundam
Banned
Watch Hot Tub Time Machine. You'll Feel Better.
Winning.
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Also the GAFfer PM that chick if she's an assassin: She'll Cut Cho Meng
Maddocks
Member
I'm the same way, I'm always angry. The more times goes on the more I get depressed. Every time I find happiness something happens that brings me so down that I want to give it all up.
Now saying that, I still don't give up because eventually, god willing and with my own persistence I will become happy I will find someone who finds all my faults and all my values endearing and loving and will realize I'm everything she wants and she will be everything I want. I thought I found that once and it turned out to blow up in my face hard. So hard in fact I gave up looking and I gave up on myself. I wanted to die, not because of not finding someone, but because that was top of my life problems.
you have to learn as I have learned that while I'm angry at the world and depressed at my current life, it will get better and eventually it will happen and you will be happy.
Now saying that, I still don't give up because eventually, god willing and with my own persistence I will become happy I will find someone who finds all my faults and all my values endearing and loving and will realize I'm everything she wants and she will be everything I want. I thought I found that once and it turned out to blow up in my face hard. So hard in fact I gave up looking and I gave up on myself. I wanted to die, not because of not finding someone, but because that was top of my life problems.
you have to learn as I have learned that while I'm angry at the world and depressed at my current life, it will get better and eventually it will happen and you will be happy.
Ash Sparrow
Banned
So true lol. Now that you mention the exercise one I realize how many times I've come across that. There was one woman whose profile made me laugh, now she didnt jump out to me physically, but she was funny. I wondered would it have been okay just to message her and tell her her profile was good.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Got semi-motivated due to the new year and messaged 20 girls over the last few weeks. Zero success. I did get one saying she wasn't interested in dating someone who played video games because her last bf was a "hardcore gamer". I didn't even mention gaming in my profile haha. I guess she made an assumption because I said I'm into "nerdy" things.
Freezie KO
Banned
Well, the girl I chatted with a few times that said she had to take a rain check on a date this past weekend never even got back to me. I tried to continue the conversation from before, but no reply.
Bummed about that one. She seemed like the right personality type for sure. No active conversations with any other women either.
Big sigh.
Bummed about that one. She seemed like the right personality type for sure. No active conversations with any other women either.
Big sigh.
electricshake
Member
You need to speak to someone if you're depressed. And I don't mean gaf. And you said you don't like yourself - why not? It sounds like you need some perspective as well...you're a white male living in America - you may have a shitty stick but it could be so much worse. But seriously go get help.
Future PhaZe
Member
crazyblinddate day on okcupid removes all photos
who in the fuck thought this was a good idea
who in the fuck thought this was a good idea
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
THIS
Friicken seriously.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Hey, I'm with some of you guys on the "everyone around me has awesome relationships and I can't even land a date" but I try to not let it bug me and keep trying. I've been single since high school (26 now) and haven't had any real action in a few years. I changed the way I dressed for the better, lost 30 pounds, started trying to be more confident and just randomly talk to people, and am always trying to improve.
I'd be lying if I didn't get down while at home by myself and ask why I can't find anyone the slightest bit interested, but I see that 3/4 of my life is great, it's just the relationship/interaction part that isn't, so that's better than a lot of people have it. I have a few friends who are married and have known their wives since high school, so I have no wingmen either. The biggest thing getting me right now is that I don't even get hit on, which confuses me because I'm not a neanderthal. It sucks being single for this long, especially with no luck even in the dating/hook-up department, but I have to keep pushing.
Hell, the last girl on OKC I was starting to get to know just deleted her profile for no reason. Still gotta keep going. I just hope that some day I'll find someone who hits it off with me.
I'd be lying if I didn't get down while at home by myself and ask why I can't find anyone the slightest bit interested, but I see that 3/4 of my life is great, it's just the relationship/interaction part that isn't, so that's better than a lot of people have it. I have a few friends who are married and have known their wives since high school, so I have no wingmen either. The biggest thing getting me right now is that I don't even get hit on, which confuses me because I'm not a neanderthal. It sucks being single for this long, especially with no luck even in the dating/hook-up department, but I have to keep pushing.
Hell, the last girl on OKC I was starting to get to know just deleted her profile for no reason. Still gotta keep going. I just hope that some day I'll find someone who hits it off with me.
I like it, I have it set so that I am only seeing 4 and5 stars and messaging EVERYONE!
Haven't logged in today to check, but I'd rather have the site hide every profile that doesn't bother with some description or questions - what the well are you supposed to say to people with photos only unless those are really really remarkable?
WascallyWabbit
Member
Way to keep your chin up. Don't let the girls on OKC get to you, they tend to be even flakier when they have veil of online anonymity.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Anyone try this Crazy Blind Date thing? There's an attractive (I think, the pic is all jumbled) girl who is looking for a date at a local bar. Not sure if it's legit
So I decided to give okc and pof a try recently. It took a bit of time but this week it seems like a ton of girls all want to meet me at once. Two girls wanted to hangout tonight, so pushed one back to Thursday and another girl wants to hangout Saturday. Should be a fun week. Ive never really done the online thing but thanks to skype I know these girls are who they say they are and we broke some of the awkwardness away before even meeting up.
Perspicacity
Banned
Doooo it
How is that new feature different from having the phone apps detecting other users nearby, but jumbling photos?...
Anyway, bad day to take that for a spin, family business to take care of, and I've already got something lined up for tomorrow, but maybe it can be taken for a spin in the following days - not sure if OKC's insistance on it today only applies for meeting that would take place today.
Anyway, bad day to take that for a spin, family business to take care of, and I've already got something lined up for tomorrow, but maybe it can be taken for a spin in the following days - not sure if OKC's insistance on it today only applies for meeting that would take place today.
Red_taiyaki
Member
New "no face" promo so strange. Granted, I just got an unsolicited message from a random Asian girl for no reason at all. /shrugs
Shotgun approach?
What's crazyblinddate?
I wouldn't use OKC as a measure ground of yourself. I've said it before, I get like no replies or visits on OKC but irl I have chatted with girls and have gotten their numbers. Hell, I think I come off better online than I do in person but it's not working for me lol!
If OKC fails then maybe you will find more success outdoors.
False Witness
Member
Hm... this crazy blind date thing seems kind of interesting. I recognize every single person in my area, so the scramble kind of sucks. All of the places they want to me are too far for me to bother going for though.
What if you get there and her face is actually scrambled!! Don't do it, its a trick.
False Witness
Member
You know, the date thing should work out great for those people here who have had issues finding people who were actually on OKC to meet up with people in real life and don't just treat it as a little ego booster. It shows who in your area is totally willing to meet.
Of course, I can only imagine the stand-ups at this point.
Of course, I can only imagine the stand-ups at this point.
augmental
Member
I have seen two different girls now from OKC (around 3 dates each). Both of them were really nice, sweet girls but I really didn't feel that attracted to them, unfortunately. Both of them had lost about the equivalent of a person (~100 pounds) and both had a lot of loose skin which I have never had to deal with before. Maybe I am being too picky, but I am not willing to settle after my last relationship.
WascallyWabbit
Member
http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/15/okcupid-wants-to-send-members-on-a-crazy-blind-date/
Apparently it's legit, but brand new
Apparently it's legit, but brand new
Do you feel like you need a relationship to be happy? I feel like I'm just repeating what everyone else has said but you need to be happy with yourself regardless of a relationship. And I can tell you, some of the unhappiest moments in my life is when I was in an unhealthy relationship. Relationships won't magically cure your depression.
As for some advice.. find a few things you can work on yourself and go from there. Every year I find a few things to work on that I think need improvement. For example, one year I wanted to dress better. So I did a lot of research online, found good fitting clothes.. and actually took care of myself and made myself presentable. I also wanted to be fit, so again I did a lot of research... found a workout that is sustainable for me.. and stuck with it. Lost 20lbs, got in decent but not amazing shape.
over the years, I've learned how to cook, how to play the guitar, how to speak confidently in a public setting (yes I had to do this too)
It doesn't matter what you want to do, but the idea is that you should be improving yourself. A year from now, you should be able to look back and say, yes I am a better person now than I was a year ago.
Practically when it comes to relationships, what do you have to offer? unwavering attention and constant love does not count as something. You need to be able to offer something in the relationship. Give women a reason to want you because frankly, we don't deserve anything. You ask what did you do to deserve this as if the universe owes you something. But that's not the right question. The question should be why should the hypothetical girl deserve you?
That's where improving yourself comes in. If you're having trouble finding someone now, why would it be any different in the future if you don't change? However from my experience, when you improve on yourself, your chances of finding someone gets better and better.
It took me until my mid 20's to realize that. Now I'm well in my 30s, but even though I am older, I can safely look at my younger self and and say that I am better than he is. The point is, it's never too late to start. I wished I started in my teens. I would kick so much butt in HS and College, but regardless it's never too late.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
You posting this in a dating topic says what you really mean: you need another person to validate you. People that have regular dating success generally do not.
Shit like this reminds me of the Simpsons when Marge kicks Homer out and he comes back to her groveling. "I know now what I can offer you that no one else can: complete and utter dependence!"
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
My whole thing (after my long post earlier) is not so much that I need to date someone for a long period necessarily, I kind of like the single life, it's mainly that I'd kill for a hook-up every once in a while. Not that that's what I look for on the site, because that doesn't work. Just be nice to have the single life, but have the option there to get together with someone.
We all know those feels.
We all know those feels.
Doug Heffernan
Member
Give a semblance of mystery and intrigue to your profile. Don't message anyone, let the messages come to you. It's really that simple.
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