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[Red_taiyaki]

I actually got a girl to message me. We added each other on steam... and when she commented on my profile pic and talked about my features I told her it's not actually me. She shrugged and and removed/blocked on steam and OKCupid.

Why on Earth would you use a picture that's not you?

@.@

/confused

Unless "being yourself" means you're an attractive, exciting person it will get you very little way in the real world. You will have to make changes to yourself and in your life. This doesn't mean wearing a mask, but you will have to make changes.

PERSONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

[Darklord]

I seem to be able to make good first messages and get a about a 50% profile visit from them but no replies. Before I was getting maybe 1/10, now none! What the hell? :\

 

[amaron11]

This thread is absolute gold... and it shines light on my relationship issues back when I got out of high school and makes me realize that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was.

 

[Red_taiyaki]

I seem to be able to make good first messages and get a about a 50% profile visit from them but no replies. Before I was getting maybe 1/10, now none! What the hell? :\

Hmmm...your percentages should be higher imo. I typically get a 25-30% response back rate and I'll admit that I'm not exactly the best looking guy in the world. Asian otaku, albit I take care of myself, and all that fun stuff.

The lesson I learned? Don't send anything more than three to four sentences MAX first message. It will help raise your response percentages significantly.

 

[Darklord]

Hmmm...your percentages should be higher imo. I typically get a 25-30% response back rate and I'll admit that I'm not exactly the best looking guy in the world. Asian otaku, albit I take care of myself, and all that fun stuff.

The lesson I learned? Don't send anything more than three to four sentences MAX first message. It will help raise your response percentages significantly.

I've also 80lbs since I started this last year! I was having dates as a fat guy, and none now I'm fitter. Better messages, better weight, no more replies. I honestly don't get it. I thought it was my photos so I changed them all but still nada. I don't get it.

 

[bjb]

I actually got a girl to message me. We added each other on steam... and when she commented on my profile pic and talked about my features I told her it's not actually me. She shrugged and and removed/blocked on steam and OKCupid.

Talk about awkward...Jesus...

 

[purg3]

Haven't really been active on the site or this thread for a while but wanted to post a bit of an update. So back around early December I messaged a really cute girl and probably had the strangest but awesome conversation I've ever had with someone on the site. We exchanged numbers that same day and soon after added each other on FB. Work scheduling along with the holidays made it tough to make any plans, but we continued to talk. Over the past week or so it started to pick up quite a bit, and we finally were able to meet on Friday night. We met at a local restaurant/bar, and when we first met I could tell she was a bit nervous. But after a few minutes every thing just seemed normal. We ended up going back to my place and watched a movie and she spent the night. It was probably the best date I've ever been on. I was a bit worried about talking to someone that long without meeting, but in this case it was worth it. Looking forward to seeing where this goes as she's pretty awesome and is also interested as well.

I'm feeling pretty good about things so I thought I'd share a success story that good things can happen with online dating if you stick with it and stay positive. Good luck guys!

/end brag post

 

[jamesinclair]

I've also 80lbs since I started this last year! I was having dates as a fat guy, and none now I'm fitter. Better messages, better weight, no more replies. I honestly don't get it. I thought it was my photos so I changed them all but still nada. I don't get it.

Try that feature where people rate your picture and tells you which ones to use.



Also, anywhere here used the blind date feature?

 

[OSHAN]

Also, anywhere here sued the blind date feature?

I don't think shit has been so bad anyone has had to sue yet.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Haven't really been active on the site or this thread for a while but wanted to post a bit of an update. So back around early December I messaged a really cute girl and probably had the strangest but awesome conversation I've ever had with someone on the site. We exchanged numbers that same day and soon after added each other on FB. Work scheduling along with the holidays made it tough to make any plans, but we continued to talk. Over the past week or so it started to pick up quite a bit, and we finally were able to meet on Friday night. We met at a local restaurant/bar, and when we first met I could tell she was a bit nervous. But after a few minutes every thing just seemed normal. We ended up going back to my place and watched a movie and she spent the night. It was probably the best date I've ever been on. I was a bit worried about talking to someone that long without meeting, but in this case it was worth it. Looking forward to seeing where this goes as she's pretty awesome and is also interested as well.

I'm feeling pretty good about things so I thought I'd share a success story that good things can happen with online dating if you stick with it and stay positive. Good luck guys!

/end brag post

Nice. Sounds like it's going awesome places, keep us updated!

 

[Messypandas]

I actually got a girl to message me. We added each other on steam... and when she commented on my profile pic and talked about my features I told her it's not actually me. She shrugged and and removed/blocked on steam and OKCupid.

well what do you expect? You had already decieved her

 

[shintoki]

Lol, I made an account to look and rate some of you up. Sent out a few dumbass tells to people and ended up getting a few replies. This is awesome. I'm gonna make a real account lol

 

[Diablo Rosso]

Here's my profile. I think I should change stuff on it but no idea what.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Paul_Kelly1

 

[Tom_Cody]

So, this NYTimes article has been floating around online for the last week or so and I'm curious to hear what those in this thread have to say about it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashion/the-end-of-courtship.html

MAYBE it was because they had met on OkCupid. But when the dark-eyed musician with artfully disheveled hair asked Shani Silver, a social media and blog manager in Philadelphia, out on a “date” Friday night, she was expecting at least a drink, one on one.

“At 10 p.m., I hadn’t heard from him,” said Ms. Silver, 30, who wore her favorite skinny black jeans. Finally, at 10:30, he sent a text message. “Hey, I’m at Pub & Kitchen, want to meet up for a drink or whatever?” he wrote, before adding, “I’m here with a bunch of friends from college.”

Turned off, she fired back a text message, politely declining. But in retrospect, she might have adjusted her expectations. “The word ‘date’ should almost be stricken from the dictionary,” Ms. Silver said. “Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.”

Shots fired in the opening sentence.

I have been on and off the site for 2.5 years and my dating life has never looked like this. I will message back and forth for bit, schedule a date, go on said date, and continue to date if the preceding dates have gone well. In that time I have been in two relationships and all of my encounters have followed the pattern that I just described.

What the article describes could not be further from my experience using OKCupid yet it caries the "voice of a generation" tone that annoys me so much about Girls. What say you GAF? Does this article ring true to you or do you go on dates like other myself and other dinosaurs.

 

[Az987]

Here's my profile. I think I should change stuff on it but no idea what.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Paul_Kelly1

Yeah, I'm not sure. Maybe add some stuff to your self summary I guess.

I messaged someone a week ago because one of the 6 things she couldn't live without was Leon Kennedy and we started talking a little but she took forever to respond so I didn't think she was interested. She just sent me her phone number today though, woo.

She is really into movies and likes foreign movies too. She told me to check out The Man from Nowhere and I told her I already own it and she thought that was cool. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Unless "being yourself" means you're an attractive, exciting person it will get you very little way in the real world. You will have to make changes to yourself and in your life. This doesn't mean wearing a mask, but you will have to make changes.

The irony is I haven't made changes and I am "myself". As such, I'm alone and always will be. I just kind of gave up on everything.

I'm always myself. I don't have any game so I don't try to act cool in the least. Some people like it, some don't but I'm not going to act like I'm something I'm not and then have to worry about keeping up appearances. I am who I am.

 

[Tom_Cody]

Btw, this is my profile:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/jcudney

I have wanted to get in on the discussions in this thread for a while but the length of it seemed daunting for some reason. I guess I will get around to actually reading through all of it at some point.

 

[Tom_Cody]

Yeah, I'm not sure. Maybe add some stuff to your self summary I guess.

I messaged someone a week ago because one of the 6 things she couldn't live without was Leon Kennedy and we started talking a little but she took forever to respond so I didn't think she was interested. She just sent me her phone number today though, woo.

She is really into movies and likes foreign movies too. She told me to check out The Man from Nowhere and I told her I already own it and she thought that was cool. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

This is great advice. Put anything that speaks to you in your profile. Don't worry about making it bloated. You never know what it going to connect with someone. I have gotten messaged about every stupid aspect of my profile.

 

[pompidu]

Here's my profile. I think I should change stuff on it but no idea what.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Paul_Kelly1

Your profile is just your face, and you cant even see your whole face. It's partially being covered by the "Online Now" shade at the bottom. Also add more than just that one picture.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Btw, this is my profile:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/jcudney

I have wanted to get in on the discussions in this thread but the length of it seemed daunting for some reason. I guess I will get around to actually reading through all of it at some point.

Welcome to the thread, i gave you a five star, solid profile

 

[Az987]

Your profile is just your face, and you cant even see your whole face. It's partially being covered by the "Online Now" shade at the bottom. Also add more than just that one picture.

Yeah, that too.

 

[Perspicacity]

Btw, this is my profile:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/jcudney

I have wanted to get in on the discussions in this thread but the length of it seemed daunting for some reason. I guess I will get around to actually reading through all of it at some point.

Welcome to the thread. Don't bother reading all of it, discussions stay pretty current.

You look like Matthew Fox.

 

[Perspicacity]

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/shreddedhorse

 

[Red_taiyaki]

Btw, this is my profile:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/jcudney

I have wanted to get in on the discussions in this thread but the length of it seemed daunting for some reason. I guess I will get around to actually reading through all of it at some point.

Awesome profile. I'm tentatively planning to run the Spartan Run later this year!

 

[A Human Becoming]

I actually got a girl to message me. We added each other on steam... and when she commented on my profile pic and talked about my features I told her it's not actually me. She shrugged and and removed/blocked on steam and OKCupid.

Douche move. Were you trying to troll?

 

[Darkmakaimura]

So, this NYTimes article has been floating around online for the last week or so and I'm curious to hear what those in this thread have to say about it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashion/the-end-of-courtship.html

Shots fired in the opening sentence.

I have been on and off the site for 2.5 years and my dating life has never looked like this. I will message back and forth for bit, schedule a date, go on said date, and continue to date if the preceding dates have gone well. In that time I have been in two relationships and all of my encounters have followed the pattern that I just described.

What the article describes could not be further from my experience using OKCupid yet it caries the "voice of a generation" tone that annoys me so much about Girls. What say you GAF? Does this article ring true to you or do you go on dates like other myself and other dinosaurs.

Guy sounds like a real dumbass. She did the right thing.

 

[FelixOrion]

Eh, what the hell; I'll reactivate mine, at least for a little while.

 

[peteykirch]

So, this NYTimes article has been floating around online for the last week or so and I'm curious to hear what those in this thread have to say about it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashion/the-end-of-courtship.html

Shots fired in the opening sentence.

I have been on and off the site for 2.5 years and my dating life has never looked like this. I will message back and forth for bit, schedule a date, go on said date, and continue to date if the preceding dates have gone well. In that time I have been in two relationships and all of my encounters have followed the pattern that I just described.

What the article describes could not be further from my experience using OKCupid yet it caries the "voice of a generation" tone that annoys me so much about Girls. What say you GAF? Does this article ring true to you or do you go on dates like other myself and other dinosaurs.

Was an interesting read, but that last girl at the end totally has to get off her high horse about being spoiled by her dates.

I'm put off at times going out to a fancy restaurant because last time I took a girl from OKC out to one, she emptied my wallet only to "disappear" waiting for dessert and never came back. I always used to pay 100% of the bill, but that right there sort of made me go "Dutch" on more things. You don't ring up over 110$ worth of food and drinks, to ditch your date.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Was an interesting read, but that last girl at the end totally has to get off her high horse about being spoiled by her dates.

I'm put off at times going out to a fancy restaurant because last time I took a girl from OKC out to one, she emptied my wallet only to "disappear" waiting for dessert and never came back. I always used to pay 100% of the bill, but that right there sort of made me go "Dutch" on more things. You don't ring up over 110$ worth of food and drinks, to ditch your date.

ugh, that's terrible man. I usually keep it casual on a first date and go for coffee or drinks. Did she do this to you on a second or later date? Cuz that would FUCKED up

Also, if I date a girl who doesn't at least offer to pay by the third date, then we're done.

 

[Devolution]

Who needs some ratings?

 

[A Human Becoming]

Who needs some ratings?

What do the ratings do specifically? I only rate women I've conversed with for an extended period of time.

 

[Devolution]

What do the ratings do specifically? I only rate women I've conversed with for an extended period of time.

More attractive matches last time I read up on it.

 

[peteykirch]

ugh, that's terrible man. I usually keep it casual on a first date and go for coffee or drinks. Did she do this to you on a second or later date? Cuz that would FUCKED up

Also, if I date a girl who doesn't at least offer to pay by the third date, then we're done.

First date, we are self proclaimed foodies, and we both wanted to try this place out.

 

[Devolution]

I...uh...what.

 

[Perspicacity]

I...uh...what.

Forget it Devo. It's OKCupid.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I...uh...what.

That's a conversation you have in person.

EDIT: Did Timedog and you split?

 

[Red_taiyaki]

ugh, that's terrible man. I usually keep it casual on a first date and go for coffee or drinks. Did she do this to you on a second or later date? Cuz that would FUCKED up

Also, if I date a girl who doesn't at least offer to pay by the third date, then we're done.

Second'd. I've discovered that coffee dates are the BEST first dates the hard way. Save the fancy dinners for AFTER you find out whether or not they're sane .

I...uh...what.

Run, run fast .

 

[Darkmakaimura]

I'm always myself. I don't have any game so I don't try to act cool in the least. Some people like it, some don't but I'm not going to act like I'm something I'm not and then have to worry about keeping up appearances. I am who I am.

I would always propose and support someone be themselves. But, unless your real self is attractive and interesting, you're not going to get many places in the real world. It's a sad but cold truth. If your love life is well, perhaps you are really just that: attractive and/or exciting enough. Some people aren't and as such, they are either going to spend their life alone (like myself) or they'll change certain attributes and have a happy and healthy love life.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I would always propose and support someone be themselves. But, unless your real self is attractive and interesting, you're not going to get many places in the real world. It's a sad but cold truth. If your love life is well, perhaps you are really just that: attractive and/or exciting enough. Some people aren't and as such, they are either going to spend their life alone (like myself) or they'll change certain attributes and have a happy and healthy love life.

I'd like further explanation on this.

 

[Devolution]

I would always propose and support someone be themselves. But, unless your real self is attractive and interesting, you're not going to get many places in the real world. It's a sad but cold truth. If your love life is well, perhaps you are really just that: attractive and/or exciting enough. Some people aren't and as such, they are either going to spend their life alone (like myself) or they'll change certain attributes and have a happy and healthy love life.

A person can become more interesting and attractive if they actually try to interact more, do some hobbies outside of their typical fare (dancing, cooking, etc) and take the time to learn new things. A lot of people who think they're unattractive or uninteresting are probably doing the same routine day in, day out and not really growing in any sort of capacity.

 

[Perspicacity]

A girl's profile mentioned she was a part time postal worker, so I asked her if she was only planning half of a killing spree.

She did not message back.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

I'd like further explanation on this.

Some people have to change if they want improvement in life. This includes finding a love interest.

A person can become more interesting and attractive if they actually try to interact more, do some hobbies outside of their typical fare (dancing, cooking, etc) and take the time to learn new things. A lot of people who think they're unattractive or uninteresting are probably doing the same routine day in, day out and not really growing in any sort of capacity.

Exactly. Which means they have to make changes. Making a change in this case would be interacting more, finding hobbies and taking the time to learn new things. To grow is to change.

 

[~Kinggi~]

Its amazing just how locked i am into a downward spiral of misery. There is no escaping. Okcupid is a complete bust. Im now looking at meetup.com. I have no idea how this works but it seems utterly terrifying. In my age group a pathetic pos like me is like 1 in a thousand, maybe worse.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Some people have to change if they want improvement in life. This includes finding a love interest.

I should have only put some of that in bold; I meant regarding you.

I caved in GAF; spent $30 on A-List for 6 months. I don't want to come off like a creeper! I just read so many profiles I need to check back.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Its amazing just how locked i am into a downward spiral of misery. There is no escaping. Okcupid is a complete bust. Im now looking at meetup.com. I have no idea how this works but it seems utterly terrifying. In my age group a pathetic pos like me is like 1 in a thousand, maybe worse.

I have a feeling I might be a lot worse off than you, my man.

 

[Az987]

Exactly. Which means they have to make changes. Making a change in this case would be interacting more, finding hobbies and taking the time to learn new things. To grow is to change.

Sure that's change but its change in a good way. Putting on a front to get people to think you're one way when you're not is totally different than just trying to better yourself and grow as a person.

A person is never really done growing or never has to stop anyway.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

I should have only put some of that in bold; I meant regarding you.

Sorry no problem. Didn't get that. But yeah, I said it earlier in the thread. I pretty much have given up.

Sure that's change but its change in a good way. Putting on a front to get people to think you're one way when you're not is totally different than just trying to better yourself and grow as a person.

A person is never really done growing or never has to stop anyway.

Oh I agree with you. Which is why I mentioned before about changing not being the type where one "wears a mask". Nonetheless, some people will still need to change even if they don't exactly like some of the changes they have to make.

 

[Devolution]

Oh I agree with you. Which is why I mentioned before about changing not being the type where one "wears a mask". Nonetheless, some people will still need to change even if they don't exactly like some of the changes they have to make.

Changing also takes work. Some people might want to change but they don't want to put in the work necessary to do so.

 

[True Underdog]

Changing also takes work. Some people might want to change but they don't want to put in the work necessary to do so.

That cracked article comes to mind. I'm sure it's been referenced a ton in this thread.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Changing also takes work. Some people might want to change but they don't want to put in the work necessary to do so.

That's true too, although I would think if most people were passionate enough to change they would work on it. Of course, that also depends on certain things like available finances, etc.

That cracked article comes to mind. I'm sure it's been referenced a ton in this thread.

I saw that. Definitely a lot of hard truth in that.

 

[Devolution]

That's true too, although I would think if most people were passionate enough to change they would work on it. Of course, that also depends on certain things like available finances, etc.

It takes a couple things. Let's say you want to lose weight/work out. You have to research the best exercises to do, what to eat, what not to eat, what to do before a workout and what to do after. If you want weights you have to purchase those, if you want to do shakes and don't have a blender you need to purchase that as well, if you want to visit a gym instead of home work outs, you have to get a membership. Now you also have to set aside a time to do this, keep yourself motivated, change your eating habits. It's much easier to slide back into your usual routine than keep this up.