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[A Human Becoming]

Sorry no problem. Didn't get that. But yeah, I said it earlier in the thread. I pretty much have given up.

Did you write out an explanation? If so link me.

 

[Diablo Rosso]

Your profile is just your face, and you cant even see your whole face. It's partially being covered by the "Online Now" shade at the bottom. Also add more than just that one picture.

I tried changing my profile picture but I kept getting errors. I'll have to try again.

 

[Devolution]

When it comes to pictures you can't have too many in my opinion (well you can if they're all the same kind of picture). Have some headshots, body shots and active shots (do some shit outside or with other people and take a picture).

 

[Darkmakaimura]

It takes a couple things. Let's say you want to lose weight/work out. You have to research the best exercises to do, what to eat, what not to eat, what to do before a workout and what to do after. If you want weights you have to purchase those, if you want to do shakes and don't have a blender you need to purchase that as well, if you want to visit a gym instead of home work outs, you have to get a membership. Now you also have to set aside a time to do this, keep yourself motivated, change your eating habits. It's much easier to slide back into your usual routine than keep this up.

Exactly. Unfortunately, this makes it difficult to change certain things for some people.

Did you write out an explanation? If so link me.

I just said this.

I won't go into a long, whiny self-deprecating rant but that's it.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

Well created a profile last night as a joke kind of. Now I have a date tomorrow night with a beautiful girl.

I took a chance and it worked. Holy shit.

 

[Devolution]

Well created a profile last night as a joke kind of. Now I have a date tomorrow night with a beautiful girl.

I took a chance and it worked. Holy shit.

Gotta put yourself out there. The possibility of rejection is always present even in an established relationship.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

Gotta put yourself out there. The possibility of rejection is always present even in an established relationship.

I never, ever have even considered online dating. I try it once and magically I click on my first try haha. Won't get too far ahead of myself though.

 

[Devolution]

I never, ever have even considered online dating. I try it once and magically I click on my first try haha. Won't get too far ahead of myself though.

Have had two serious relationships now thanks to the internet. It makes it easy to find someone with similar interests and humor.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I just said this.

I won't go into a long, whiny self-deprecating rant but that's it.

Boo. I wanted a more thorough explanation.

 

[zlatko]

So as I suspected, that girl did in fact bail/stood me up last night. I finally got a text at like 10:20 last night when I had got into bed, and she apologized and said she was really scared. It was her first actual meet up from anyone online. Her sister and her spent the whole day together and in that time her sister scared her shitless with the crap she said.

I told her it was all good. That her sis is just looking out for her and she's in the right since OKC and the net has a lot of creepers in general. I said if she wants we can just talk for another week, more on phone, etc, and try meeting up in a public place so she's less nervous. She was really hard on herself about it, and said some really nice compliments back to me and how I'm so sweet and understanding, etc. I make her laugh a fair amount and she loves a guy with a good sense of humor.

Anywho, I'm making all the right moves here, and even with her shyness, she's a lot better fit from what I've gathered than my ex. I don't want to set myself up too high, because if she does bail again this weekend for round 2, then I'm done. Shy or not, I'll just assume it's a chubby girl with serious problems using fake photos to boost her ego and have a guy to talk to or some shit.

 

[amaron11]

I never, ever have even considered online dating. I try it once and magically I click on my first try haha. Won't get too far ahead of myself though.

I met my wife on FFXI, so it does happen.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

I have 2 other girls actively messaging me now lol. Wow I have been doing it wrong for a long time. Glad I woke up

 

[zlatko]

I have 2 other girls actively messaging me now lol. Wow I have been doing it wrong for a long time. Glad I woke up

What did you change up to get a better response?

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Boo. I wanted a more thorough explanation.

I hate myself, blah blah. Stuff like that would be better for depression thread.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Is it generally agreed upon to never attempt messaging women again who didn't respond to your first message?

 

[Maddocks]

depends on time frame. if its 2 months later then cool. 3 hours, no go lol

 

[A Human Becoming]

depends on time frame. if its 2 months later then cool. 3 hours, no go lol

Is two months really okay? No idea what's considered appropriate here. Just to be specific, I'm referring to women you KNOW saw your message.

 

[Maddocks]

if you know she seen it, no harm doing a follow up message. a girl normally gets 20 messages a day, so its pretty possible she completely forgot about your first message 2-3 weeks after reading it.

I think its fine to send 2-3 as long as none of them are,"hey why didn't you respond whore? do you know who I am?"

 

[crush7337]

Is two months really okay? No idea what's considered appropriate here. Just to be specific, I'm referring to women you KNOW saw your message.

If she visited your profile, but you've since changed your pictures message her again. Chances are she might remember your pictures, but I doubt she would remember your profile unless it was really unique.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

What did you change up to get a better response?

Nothing. Honest to god I signed up not really caring and I am getting hits. I think finally not "trying" allowed me to relax enough to be myself.

 

[grap3fruitman]

I've had more than fifty gentlemen visit my profile in less than twenty-four hours.

That's some boring man.

Do you guys go skydiving everyday or something? What do you all do that isn't considered "boring?" Your evenings are being spent on GAF, judging other peoples' dating profiles. How exciting could your lives possibly be?

 

[~Kinggi~]

Havent had someone visit my profile in 10 days. Yes, i must be that ugly or some shit.

 

[equap]

I hate myself, blah blah. Stuff like that would be better for depression thread.

not cool, bro. shouldn't think like that.

Havent had someone visit my profile in 10 days. Yes, i must be that ugly or some shit.

i got you beat.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Havent had someone visit my profile in 10 days. Yes, i must be that ugly or some shit.

Don't feel bad. I had mine up for a half a year and had a few visits but not one person who tried to contact me. No interest at all. Helped my already terrible self-esteem. I would seriously suggest closing your OKC down, like I did mine and save yourself a lot of tears because it will just make it a lot worse.

 

[~Kinggi~]

Don't feel bad. I had mine up for a half a year and had a few visits but not one person who tried to contact me. No interest at all. Helped my already terrible self-esteem. I would seriously suggest closing your OKC down, like I did mine and save yourself a lot of tears because it will just make it a lot worse.

I already closed it down for 3-4 months and then realized that wasnt doing shit!

 

[Maddocks]

I've had more than fifty gentlemen visit my profile in less than twenty-four hours.

the joys and benefits of posting it. If all 50 rated you 5 stars, then you should be sitting pretty.

Havent had someone visit my profile in 10 days. Yes, i must be that ugly or some shit.

Visits are easy if you use quickmatch and edit your profile a lot. Got to remain on top of the activity feed by answering questions and editing your profile, even if its just one word.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

I already closed it down for 3-4 months and then realized that wasnt doing shit!

Keep it closed. Delete it. Get rid of it and never sign up for another dating "service". It's just gonna make you feel worse. You feel bad now but trust me, it will make you feel worse.

 

[element]

I've come the conclusion that a vast majority of the women on OkCupid suck. If you aren't interested take 10 seconds and write back. I know women get a lot of messages on there, but really is it such a pain to be that selective and full of yourself that you can't just send a quick "thank, but not interested. good luck". This passive "get the point" shit is the worst.

 

[zlatko]

I've come the conclusion that a vast majority of the women on OkCupid suck. If you aren't interested take 10 seconds and write back. I know women get a lot of messages on there, but really is it such a pain to be that selective and full of yourself that you can't just send a quick "thank, but not interested. good luck". This passive "get the point" shit is the worst.

You mean a reply after you you two were going back and forth, or you mean just to 1 of your first messages without her replying ever?

Honestly, they are doing the right thing to not message back if it's your first message. Why? There are waaaaay too many dicks that would say some fucked up asshole shit or keep pressing their luck and bugging a chick AFTER they get the "no thanks, good luck" message back.

Now if you're saying it'd be nice if chicks said, "no thanks," after a message back and forth and she's not feeling it, then I agree. That'd really fucking help out. :/

 

[Prince of Space]

Made a few more profile changes; filled out a couple of more areas, and beefed up some others. Judge me, GAF: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/inspectrdetectr

 

[Devolution]

I've come the conclusion that a vast majority of the women on OkCupid suck. If you aren't interested take 10 seconds and write back. I know women get a lot of messages on there, but really is it such a pain to be that selective and full of yourself that you can't just send a quick "thank, but not interested. good luck". This passive "get the point" shit is the worst.

Because you get back

"well fuck you too then bitch"
"whatever cunt"
"go fuck yourself whore."

Why the hell would someone reply back anymore after getting a couple of those?

 

[The_Inquisitor]

I've come the conclusion that a vast majority of the women on OkCupid suck. If you aren't interested take 10 seconds and write back. I know women get a lot of messages on there, but really is it such a pain to be that selective and full of yourself that you can't just send a quick "thank, but not interested. good luck". This passive "get the point" shit is the worst.

Not really? Having pretty decent conversations with 3 girls right now. Just set your expectations correctly and realize sometimes shit doesn't work out. I think it helps to know what you actually like though with the ability to go a little outside your comfort zone for something potentially great.

 

[Bisnic]

Because you get back

"well fuck you too then bitch"
"whatever cunt"
"go fuck yourself whore."

Why the hell would someone reply back anymore after getting a couple of those?

Are people really that disrespectful? I know, internet anonimity and all that, but even that wouldn't make me act that way if a girl said "sorry, you're not my kind of guy".

 

[~Kinggi~]

I seriously need to just find a way to become interesting. I hate myself and am as boring as cardboard. Thats not to say i dont do interesting things its just i'd never know it and cant sell shit. If i cant make something happen this year im done. 30 and that's that.

I was looking at meetup, cept i have severe social anxiety around new people! Thats awesome.

 

[BrightEyedPanic]

Because you get back

"well fuck you too then bitch"
"whatever cunt"
"go fuck yourself whore."

Why the hell would someone reply back anymore after getting a couple of those?

Happened to me countless number of times. "you like grillz and making stacks and I know you're not talking about pancakes. Not my type, but I'm here for the same reason you are and I wish you success. " Some are cool about it. Most are not.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

I seriously need to just find a way to become interesting. I hate myself and am as boring as cardboard. Thats not to say i dont do interesting things its just i'd never know it and cant sell shit. If i cant make something happen this year im done. 30 and that's that.

I was looking at meetup, cept i have severe social anxiety around new people! Thats awesome.

Just stop giving a fuck dude. Best thing I ever did. Yes I am not perfect, but when you stop giving a fuck you attract the right kind of people you want in your life.

Happened to me countless number of times. "you like grillz and making stacks and I know you're not talking about pancakes. Not my type, but I'm here for the same reason you are and I wish you success. " Some are cool about it. Most are not.

Lol what the fuck is wrong with men.

 

[Darkmakaimura]

I seriously need to just find a way to become interesting. I hate myself and am as boring as cardboard. Thats not to say i dont do interesting things its just i'd never know it and cant sell shit. If i cant make something happen this year im done. 30 and that's that.

I was looking at meetup, cept i have severe social anxiety around new people! Thats awesome.

My problems are very similar so I can't help you out and I'm older than you are. Can just wish you the best of luck and hopefully you can make that something happen.

Just stop giving a fuck dude. Best thing I ever did. Yes I am not perfect, but when you stop giving a fuck you attract the right kind of people you want in your life.

What do you mean by not caring? I stopped caring. I gave up. Didn't help either.

 

[Devolution]

Are people really that disrespectful? I know, internet anonimity and all that, but even that wouldn't make me act that way if a girl said "sorry, you're not my kind of guy".

Yes people are that disrespectful. If you do enough modding you see the same shit.

 

[~Kinggi~]

What do you mean by not caring? I stopped caring. I gave up. Didn't help either.

Its just a very broad piece of advice that ultimately equates to 'caring, and making an effort, but not caring, with little effort'. Which just translates to 'be like a normal guy and dont be clingly'. Advice like that is totally lost on someone like me, who's problem comes inherently from the fact i have anxiety issues and care when i know i shouldnt.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

What do you mean by not caring? I stopped caring. I gave up. Didn't help either.

I mean stop caring about what you think you are and accept yourself for who you are. If you don't accept yourself, no one else will. A person who is comfortable with him or herself is attractive.

Edit: Think I am about to reel in a second date. Holy fuck I cannot believe how well this is going...

 

[Darkmakaimura]

Its just a very broad piece of advice that ultimately equates to 'caring, and making an effort, but not caring, with little effort'. Which just translates to 'be like a normal guy and dont be clingly'. Advice like that is totally lost on someone like me, who's problem comes inherently from the fact i have anxiety issues and care when i know i shouldnt.

Yeah, be yourself and all that. I feel I am a pretty honest person. I don't hide behind a mask or try to be anything I am not. Most of my friends so the one good quality I have is that I am "real".

It's lost on me too though. As "real" as I am, I repel women. I have lots of female friends who will say nice things to make me feel better, but that of course comes down to the whole FriendZone as is usual with guys like myself. And like you too, I have severe anxiety - both general and social.

I mean stop caring about what you think you are and accept yourself for who you are. If you don't accept yourself, no one else will. A person who is comfortable with him or herself is attractive.

Not going to lie when I say I hate myself. Being that the case, nobody will ever accept me and I guess I have to deal with that.

 

[Bisnic]

I mean stop caring about what you think you are and accept yourself for who you are. If you don't accept yourself, no one else will. A person who is comfortable with him or herself is attractive.

Edit: Think I am about to reel in a second date. Holy fuck I cannot believe how well this is going...

I wish i had your luck, in 2 months i got nothing. It's not like i'm ugly or anything, but i'm the "slim" type. Maybe a lot of girls don't like that?

 

[element]

You mean a reply after you you two were going back and forth, or you mean just to 1 of your first messages without her replying ever?

Honestly, they are doing the right thing to not message back if it's your first message. Why? There are waaaaay too many dicks that would say some fucked up asshole shit or keep pressing their luck and bugging a chick AFTER they get the "no thanks, good luck" message back.

I think age has a lot to do with it. I'm 33. I'm not mailing 20 year old girls. I'm not sending "hey gurl. yo top is better on my floor yo."

I take my time to read someone's profile. I take time to write something that have some type of substance. The least I can get in return is a thanks but not thanks. Hell lie to me and say you aren't looking or too busy. I rather have someone close that book than having them crop up on my activity feed all the time from answering quizes and shit.

There is just a entitled selectivism on the site that makes the whole thing pointless.

When I send someone I'm interested in a simple "Happy New Year" and they responds with "Fuck off", there is a problem.

 

[spiderman123]

I DID IT GAF

 

[SteeloDMZ]

I DID IT GAF

The fuck is that?

 

[grap3fruitman]

The fuck is that?

A restraining order in progress.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I DID IT GAF

I hope you're certain she'll be cool with that.

A restraining order in progress.

If not, this will happen.

 

[spiderman123]

I hope you're certain she'll be cool with that.

If not, this will happen.

nah she will be cool with it.

 

[Maddocks]

she will be cool with it or she WILL be cool with it because she will be locked up in a windowless van with a mattress in back?

 

[A Human Becoming]

I seemed to have hit my stride. I have talked to two ladies the past two days for conversations over half an hour. I've had two women contact me first and two who responded to my message.

Current lady I'm speaking to now is awesome. Best convo I've had on the site.