A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Did you write out an explanation? If so link me.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Diablo Rosso
Member
I tried changing my profile picture but I kept getting errors. I'll have to try again.
Devolution
Member
When it comes to pictures you can't have too many in my opinion (well you can if they're all the same kind of picture). Have some headshots, body shots and active shots (do some shit outside or with other people and take a picture).
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Exactly. Unfortunately, this makes it difficult to change certain things for some people.
I just said this.
I won't go into a long, whiny self-deprecating rant but that's it.
The_Inquisitor
Member
Well created a profile last night as a joke kind of. Now I have a date tomorrow night with a beautiful girl.
I took a chance and it worked. Holy shit.
I took a chance and it worked. Holy shit.
Devolution
Member
Gotta put yourself out there. The possibility of rejection is always present even in an established relationship.
The_Inquisitor
Member
I never, ever have even considered online dating. I try it once and magically I click on my first try haha. Won't get too far ahead of myself though.
Devolution
Member
I never, ever have even considered online dating. I try it once and magically I click on my first try haha. Won't get too far ahead of myself though.
Have had two serious relationships now thanks to the internet. It makes it easy to find someone with similar interests and humor.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Boo. I wanted a more thorough explanation.
So as I suspected, that girl did in fact bail/stood me up last night. I finally got a text at like 10:20 last night when I had got into bed, and she apologized and said she was really scared. It was her first actual meet up from anyone online. Her sister and her spent the whole day together and in that time her sister scared her shitless with the crap she said.
I told her it was all good. That her sis is just looking out for her and she's in the right since OKC and the net has a lot of creepers in general. I said if she wants we can just talk for another week, more on phone, etc, and try meeting up in a public place so she's less nervous. She was really hard on herself about it, and said some really nice compliments back to me and how I'm so sweet and understanding, etc. I make her laugh a fair amount and she loves a guy with a good sense of humor.
Anywho, I'm making all the right moves here, and even with her shyness, she's a lot better fit from what I've gathered than my ex. I don't want to set myself up too high, because if she does bail again this weekend for round 2, then I'm done. Shy or not, I'll just assume it's a chubby girl with serious problems using fake photos to boost her ego and have a guy to talk to or some shit.
I told her it was all good. That her sis is just looking out for her and she's in the right since OKC and the net has a lot of creepers in general. I said if she wants we can just talk for another week, more on phone, etc, and try meeting up in a public place so she's less nervous. She was really hard on herself about it, and said some really nice compliments back to me and how I'm so sweet and understanding, etc. I make her laugh a fair amount and she loves a guy with a good sense of humor.
Anywho, I'm making all the right moves here, and even with her shyness, she's a lot better fit from what I've gathered than my ex. I don't want to set myself up too high, because if she does bail again this weekend for round 2, then I'm done. Shy or not, I'll just assume it's a chubby girl with serious problems using fake photos to boost her ego and have a guy to talk to or some shit.
I never, ever have even considered online dating. I try it once and magically I click on my first try haha. Won't get too far ahead of myself though.
I met my wife on FFXI, so it does happen.
The_Inquisitor
Member
I have 2 other girls actively messaging me now lol. Wow I have been doing it wrong for a long time. Glad I woke up
What did you change up to get a better response?
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
I hate myself, blah blah. Stuff like that would be better for depression thread.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Is it generally agreed upon to never attempt messaging women again who didn't respond to your first message?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Is two months really okay? No idea what's considered appropriate here. Just to be specific, I'm referring to women you KNOW saw your message.
Maddocks
Member
if you know she seen it, no harm doing a follow up message. a girl normally gets 20 messages a day, so its pretty possible she completely forgot about your first message 2-3 weeks after reading it.
I think its fine to send 2-3 as long as none of them are,"hey why didn't you respond whore? do you know who I am?"
I think its fine to send 2-3 as long as none of them are,"hey why didn't you respond whore? do you know who I am?"
If she visited your profile, but you've since changed your pictures message her again. Chances are she might remember your pictures, but I doubt she would remember your profile unless it was really unique.
The_Inquisitor
Member
Nothing. Honest to god I signed up not really caring and I am getting hits. I think finally not "trying" allowed me to relax enough to be myself.
grap3fruitman
Banned
I've had more than fifty gentlemen visit my profile in less than twenty-four hours.
Do you guys go skydiving everyday or something? What do you all do that isn't considered "boring?" Your evenings are being spent on GAF, judging other peoples' dating profiles. How exciting could your lives possibly be?
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Don't feel bad. I had mine up for a half a year and had a few visits but not one person who tried to contact me. No interest at all. Helped my already terrible self-esteem. I would seriously suggest closing your OKC down, like I did mine and save yourself a lot of tears because it will just make it a lot worse.
I already closed it down for 3-4 months and then realized that wasnt doing shit!
Maddocks
Member
the joys and benefits of posting it. If all 50 rated you 5 stars, then you should be sitting pretty.
Visits are easy if you use quickmatch and edit your profile a lot. Got to remain on top of the activity feed by answering questions and editing your profile, even if its just one word.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Keep it closed. Delete it. Get rid of it and never sign up for another dating "service". It's just gonna make you feel worse. You feel bad now but trust me, it will make you feel worse.
element
Member
I've come the conclusion that a vast majority of the women on OkCupid suck. If you aren't interested take 10 seconds and write back. I know women get a lot of messages on there, but really is it such a pain to be that selective and full of yourself that you can't just send a quick "thank, but not interested. good luck". This passive "get the point" shit is the worst.
You mean a reply after you you two were going back and forth, or you mean just to 1 of your first messages without her replying ever?
Honestly, they are doing the right thing to not message back if it's your first message. Why? There are waaaaay too many dicks that would say some fucked up asshole shit or keep pressing their luck and bugging a chick AFTER they get the "no thanks, good luck" message back.
Now if you're saying it'd be nice if chicks said, "no thanks," after a message back and forth and she's not feeling it, then I agree. That'd really fucking help out. :/
Prince of Space
Banned
Made a few more profile changes; filled out a couple of more areas, and beefed up some others. Judge me, GAF: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/inspectrdetectr
Devolution
Member
Because you get back
"well fuck you too then bitch"
"whatever cunt"
"go fuck yourself whore."
Why the hell would someone reply back anymore after getting a couple of those?
The_Inquisitor
Member
Not really? Having pretty decent conversations with 3 girls right now. Just set your expectations correctly and realize sometimes shit doesn't work out. I think it helps to know what you actually like though with the ability to go a little outside your comfort zone for something potentially great.
Are people really that disrespectful? I know, internet anonimity and all that, but even that wouldn't make me act that way if a girl said "sorry, you're not my kind of guy".
I seriously need to just find a way to become interesting. I hate myself and am as boring as cardboard. Thats not to say i dont do interesting things its just i'd never know it and cant sell shit. If i cant make something happen this year im done. 30 and that's that.
I was looking at meetup, cept i have severe social anxiety around new people! Thats awesome.
I was looking at meetup, cept i have severe social anxiety around new people! Thats awesome.
BrightEyedPanic
Member
Happened to me countless number of times. "you like grillz and making stacks and I know you're not talking about pancakes. Not my type, but I'm here for the same reason you are and I wish you success.
" Some are cool about it. Most are not.The_Inquisitor
Member
Just stop giving a fuck dude. Best thing I ever did. Yes I am not perfect, but when you stop giving a fuck you attract the right kind of people you want in your life.
Happened to me countless number of times. "you like grillz and making stacks and I know you're not talking about pancakes. Not my type, but I'm here for the same reason you are and I wish you success.
Lol what the fuck is wrong with men.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
My problems are very similar so I can't help you out and I'm older than you are. Can just wish you the best of luck and hopefully you can make that something happen.
What do you mean by not caring? I stopped caring. I gave up. Didn't help either.Just stop giving a fuck dude. Best thing I ever did. Yes I am not perfect, but when you stop giving a fuck you attract the right kind of people you want in your life.
Devolution
Member
Yes people are that disrespectful. If you do enough modding you see the same shit.
Its just a very broad piece of advice that ultimately equates to 'caring, and making an effort, but not caring, with little effort'. Which just translates to 'be like a normal guy and dont be clingly'. Advice like that is totally lost on someone like me, who's problem comes inherently from the fact i have anxiety issues and care when i know i shouldnt.
The_Inquisitor
Member
I mean stop caring about what you think you are and accept yourself for who you are. If you don't accept yourself, no one else will. A person who is comfortable with him or herself is attractive.
Edit: Think I am about to reel in a second date. Holy fuck I cannot believe how well this is going...
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Yeah, be yourself and all that. I feel I am a pretty honest person. I don't hide behind a mask or try to be anything I am not. Most of my friends so the one good quality I have is that I am "real".
It's lost on me too though. As "real" as I am, I repel women. I have lots of female friends who will say nice things to make me feel better, but that of course comes down to the whole FriendZone as is usual with guys like myself. And like you too, I have severe anxiety - both general and social.
Not going to lie when I say I hate myself. Being that the case, nobody will ever accept me and I guess I have to deal with that.
I wish i had your luck, in 2 months i got nothing. It's not like i'm ugly or anything, but i'm the "slim" type. Maybe a lot of girls don't like that?
element
Member
I think age has a lot to do with it. I'm 33. I'm not mailing 20 year old girls. I'm not sending "hey gurl. yo top is better on my floor yo."
I take my time to read someone's profile. I take time to write something that have some type of substance. The least I can get in return is a thanks but not thanks. Hell lie to me and say you aren't looking or too busy. I rather have someone close that book than having them crop up on my activity feed all the time from answering quizes and shit.
There is just a entitled selectivism on the site that makes the whole thing pointless.
When I send someone I'm interested in a simple "Happy New Year" and they responds with "Fuck off", there is a problem.
spiderman123
Member
I DID IT GAF
I DID IT GAF
The fuck is that?
grap3fruitman
Banned
A restraining order in progress.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I hope you're certain she'll be cool with that.I DID IT GAF
If not, this will happen.
spiderman123
Member
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I seemed to have hit my stride. I have talked to two ladies the past two days for conversations over half an hour. I've had two women contact me first and two who responded to my message.
Current lady I'm speaking to now is awesome. Best convo I've had on the site.
Current lady I'm speaking to now is awesome. Best convo I've had on the site.
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