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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
- Status
lol whats the guy look like who you posted a picture of?
jamesinclair
Banned
Oh no, fake girl profile.
Looking to see what the competition is and why no one ever holds a conversation with me. Not even a canadian gaffer.
15 visitors
5 messages.
Edit, hey look, a guy with a decent opener
Loaded a previous page and see this. WHAT THE FUCK
Damn, I made a fake profile with casual pics of a model in Socal and even I didn't get that many. Although the panty line worked like a charm for a fair amount of girls haha.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Both.
I don't wear Canucks clothes!
Many things. All things
Well getting you to stop wearing canucks clothes is a step in the right direction. There may be hope for you yet!
What's some examples of the many things you're grossed out by? It's hard to respond without getting an idea of what bothers you.
jamesinclair
Banned
Good body?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Everything about my looks. Haha.
Give 5 specifics that fall into the everything.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
I wish I had that problem.
jamesinclair
Banned
Picture 2 and 5 are your best IMO.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Because they show off her boobs the most? Wait, that's 2 and 4.
Well naturally the solution to this to become a mass murderer where you wear your victim's face as a mask. You'll be the most beautiful girl at the ball!
OrangeGrayBlue
Member
You sound a lot like a girl I spoke to on OKcupid. She was black and thought being black was awful so she wished she was white. She also thought she was ugly, fat, etc. I spoke to her on the phone for over an hour about how her negative mindset is what deters guys from her and nothing about her actual perception of herself, regardless of it's accuracy (for the record, she was decent looking and far from "fat.") I applied that to myself and told her that I have no problem with her being black, nor do I find her to be fat and ugly, but what was unattractive to me was her attitude about herself and seemingly concrete stance that she was bound to be a negative person and didn't deserve better.
She told me that she'd had very unpleasant relations with guys in the past and that men were abusive to her. While that is by no means her fault, I do believe that her low self-esteem contributes to the fact that she ever gave those guys who treated her so poorly the time of day: she was simply accepting the kind of treatment that she felt someone as ugly, fat, and black as her deserved.
In short, none of the things you think are wrong with yourself need to change. The first step toward progress is accepting that you are fine as you are, and the only thing that needs to change is your belief that you are not.
jamesinclair
Banned
45 mins later....
And additional 28 views and 8 messages.
My favorite one.
And additional 28 views and 8 messages.
My favorite one.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
My views have picked up a bit but only one message chain in a while. I'm seeing the OKC girl I met a few weeks ago tomorrow again. Date 4. She seems to enjoy hanging out more than any kind of dating though, so I'm still looking.
That could work.
Also, plastic surgery. Lol.
That sounds about right. :/ But I can't ever accept what I look like, not do I deserve to ever think I look even acceptable.
It just is what it is. I'm supposed to be unfortunate looking and be alone. And that's fine. I try to change it sometimes, but in the end, I come back to the same place. Haha.
I'm happier just saying oh well. Haha. I have my cat, I have my anti-depressants, I don't cry everyday anymore. Life is good
Anyway, I just ended up doing this because I got curious with match.com. It runs out at the end of February and then I don't have to bother anymore.
What?
Maddocks
Member
she found a friend. The friend is him.
I'm sure a lot of guys do but it can make you feel kind of shitty if that's not what you want.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Meaning it seems like she just wants someone to go do something with every once in a while. She doesn't seem to be interested in a romantic relationship at all despite my advances. She's either someone who needs a lot of time, or she was just looking for a friend more than anything. I'll still see where it goes because I have no options. But it's an odd feeling.
Basically. But then again I can't tell 100%. She could just be slow at it. Not going to let it bother me though. It's four more dates than I've had in a long time.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
These. You don't look gross in the least. Hawt even.
FelixOrion
Poet Centuriate
Yes, as a supplement to real life stuff, not a total replacement.
Maddocks
Member
depends on what you are looking for, a hook up or date or right back on the relationship sattle.
you want a rebound, then plenty of fish is for you, you want a date and maybe a relationship then okc is better.
Cool, cheers.
LOL, definitley no need for rebound. Still early days though. Just thinking about thinking about doing something.
Invisible Man
aka SexyNerd
Just got a good result using this as my first message.
And this was her response.
And this was her response.
Wow I have to say never have I got a message like this one before! But I like that you did it, shows already your bold and creative
Hmm for question 1: I would choose a house made of peanut butter! Cheese would get a bad smell after a while haha!
For question 2: I would def have to eliminate hamburgers, its so simple and not necessary! Pizza has unlimited options, extra cheese, buffalo chicken, stuffed crust haha!
So these are def unique questions but I can promise I answered them truthfully! How did I do?
Haha I had a date last night and I was asking her about the funniest messages she had received. My mind was blown. A ton of "heeeyyy" a lot of "let's fuck" a good amount of "I know I'm way older than you but..." and the occasional "are you into white guys?".
jamesinclair
Banned
12 hours after creating fake (female) profile...
100+ visitors
30+ messages
Edit:
I listed myself as bi of course....
Those are from three different girls.
Turns out, girls send worse messages than guys!
100+ visitors
30+ messages
Edit:
I listed myself as bi of course....
I just have to say you are sooo beautiful
Those are from three different girls.
Turns out, girls send worse messages than guys!
NobleGundam
Banned
damn, fuck. girl stopped responding. She says we should meet up and get drinks, I respond, nothing. I swear, every time I post in this thread about it going well, it turns to shit lol. The one time I didn't say anything, I ended up dating this girl for 4 months. Fuck this thread!
jamesinclair
Banned
Thats the absolute worse.
When THEY say lets meet up.
You say ok, when
And then theyre gone.
Like WTF?
Probably getting bombarded by dudes who constantly tell them that their pants are like a mirror becuase he can see himself in them, so they just say screw it, I give up, yeah that guy she was talking to was nice, but not worth having to deal with Mr. Beefcake here wanting to know if she is natural or shaved.
It happens quite a bit, just move on to the next one, Allons-y.
That's about as many visitors as I get in a week.
jamesinclair
Banned
Another 27 visits and 11 messages in two hours.
Online dating is broken. Someone should fix this
Incidentally, I accidentally saw my ex has a profile. Shes using a picture I took in 2008. Red flag boys, red flags.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Well most people keep mum about it. Even though its more socially accepted these days it still has a little bit of social stigma attached to it. College age kids don't realize how good they have it until they hit the real world and their social opportunities dramatically dry up (generally speaking of course).
I would say the general OKC audience is basically anyone post-college, graduate school, or younger working professionals. From what I can gather most of OKCGaf is mid 20s-early 30s. I have seen profiles for people 21 and younger but I don't take any of them seriously.
Winterfang
Banned
I've never had luck with OKcupid. I tried it twice and I only got one message in 3 years, it said " You look so sad".
I was smiling in all my pictures.
I was smiling in all my pictures.
Wait, aren't you failing art school? Maybe the girl was a psychic.
IAmtheFMan
Member
Well, the Match/OKC window shopping format definitely skews way more in favor for women moreso then say the eHarmony format. That being said, ALL services will do so to some extent.
Winterfang
Banned
WascallyWabbit
Member
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Great, I just got fired from my job. This makes the whole dating thing much harder...
WascallyWabbit
Member
Sorry to hear man, maybe you need to take some time off dating and focus on yourself for a bit. You don't wanna be putting yourself out there with the negative-vibe coming off being let go from your job
That sounds about right. :/ But I can't ever accept what I look like, not do I deserve to ever think I look even acceptable.
It just is what it is. I'm supposed to be unfortunate looking and be alone. And that's fine. I try to change it sometimes, but in the end, I come back to the same place. Haha.
I'm happier just saying oh well. Haha. I have my cat, I have my anti-depressants, I don't cry everyday anymore. Life is good
Anyway, I just ended up doing this because I got curious with match.com. It runs out at the end of February and then I don't have to bother anymore.
I know guys have been telling you this on GAF, but let me first tell you that I seemed to remember you looking really cute (as in "I-would-ask-you-out-if-we-knew-each-other-and-it-clicked"), so this is all really weird to me. Not only this, but you have to realize that it really has to be that the guys you've met were either assholes and that the people you like and are nice to you on GAF are also real people with real lives that you might meet in your everyday life. Guys outside of guys can be cool too.
Anyway, why would you be "supposed to be" alone? Why can't you "ever" accept what you look like? What is so immutable about it? How, of all things in life, would your outlook on life and yourself be the one thing that you firmly believe can't ever change in the 50, 60, 70 remaining years of your life? Mindsets and outlooks are precisely the one thing that are most prone to evolve as time goes by, and you're no different than any of us in that regard. From my completely amateur perspective, this is the first thing you need to evaluate: how were you convinced of this, and why? By whom (yourself or other people)?
The mere fact that at some point you went to therapy (are you still going?) shows that you've had the courage to acknowledge your problems and are willing, if only slowly, to do something about it. This tells me you're not being entirely sincere with yourself when you tell us how you can't change anything about yourself and how you're fine with how things are now. You want to change and feel better about yourself, and deep down you know that it's not easy, that it takes time, but that you're willing to do what it takes to reach that goal.
If we could talk about it (or anything else, really) IRL I'd be more than willing to do it, but unless you plan to come to my country in the near future that probably won't happen any time soon. At any rate, good luck.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I think that's what happened on my last date. I wasn't 100% sure at the time I had been fired, but now I am. That's solid advice, it just sucks as I've been talking to this very open-minded, smart and beautiful woman recently. Added her on Facebook a couple days ago and was planning on asking her out for coffee next time I'm in her area.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Well don't let it get in the way of something positive that's going on with this girl. Just try to look on the bright side of things, and tell yourself how lucky you are to be alive and have a chance to go on a date with this awesome girl. The positive vibe will come naturally if you do that
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