How do you propose it gets fixed? More females message you?
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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How do you propose it gets fixed? More females message you?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Yes. Just me.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Damn, that sucks bro. On the plus side, look at it like this...there's something better out there for you
.Okay. New to this.
Messaged 4 women yesterday, 3 of which seem to be ignores so far. :/
Waiting on one more... she's the most out of my league, but we also have the best Match % and I think my opening message was pretty good. I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll at least get a response.
There's a pretty small pool of people I could realistically go out with given that I live on-campus without a car, so my profile will probably have a pretty short lifespan.
Messaged 4 women yesterday, 3 of which seem to be ignores so far. :/
Waiting on one more... she's the most out of my league, but we also have the best Match % and I think my opening message was pretty good. I'm cautiously optimistic that I'll at least get a response.
There's a pretty small pool of people I could realistically go out with given that I live on-campus without a car, so my profile will probably have a pretty short lifespan.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Good luck! I have one sometime this week/next week. Hopefully this girl doesn't flake on me at the last second like the last one did.....granted, this one seems much more interested in me. /shrugs
jamesinclair
Banned
Next 24 hours....
28 messages
110 views
How about a system where only the women can send out messages?
As it is now, my hot profile has no incentive to reply to anyone, its just overwhelming.
Or even better: You can only initiate contact with 1 (or 5 or 10 or whatever number) people per day. I kind of wish someone would do that.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
That doesn't change their selection.
Attractive women have many options, news at 11.
jamesinclair
Banned
It does.
Havent you ever had an issue where the more work that piles up, the leas you want to do any of it, and you procrastinate under the overwhelming wait of the demands?
Its like that with dating.
Girl gets one message. She can view the profile, read over the answered questions, and respond or not.
Same with 5.
38 messages?
You just dont even want to read them any more. Even if theres gold in there, its just so much you say fuck it.
So now the hot woman simply stops logging in, even though her soul mate is in her inbox, because hes stuck between "hey babe" and "wussup hottie".
Not the same at all. At a bar, a line of 40 guys doesnt develop in front of the hot girls.
This works too.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
If only women could message, they would message the most attractive guys, who end up being the ones that get chosen through their avalanche of messages anyway. Nothing changes except possibly preventing the apathy you describe.
You're talking about the most popular free dating site in the world. Of course things are skewed.
Well not exactly but its the same way of thinking its just that guys who normally wouldn't approach a really attractive woman at a bar have no problems sending her a message online because there is no fear of embarrassment.
Yeah, James' idea would make the situation way more difficult for men. The way it works now, even if you aren't the best looking dude, maybe your messages can develop a good rapport with her and that creates attraction. Distilling the experience down to women messaging based on profiles (this is my face, this is how much money I make. I also like movies!) is going to leave a lot of guys and girls unnecessarily single.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Yep. You're not going to get a woman by socially trapping her and restricting her choices until she has to notice and like you.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I think I'm over my weekend of sulking, which constituted of only eating and sleeping. I'm starting to look into online jobs or a similar line of work. It's the stigma of being fired that worries me.
Thanks. The job was only temporary, it just ended sooner than I'd expected. The reason for my dismissal was also vague, which I am looking more into before moving on. I already have future plans to take the GRE (which I've rescheduled for later as I have more free time to study for now) and return to grad school. The job was just to gain experience and pay for my student loans, not a career path.Damn, that sucks bro. On the plus side, look at it like this...there's something better out there for you
Cow Mengde
Banned
Ditto!
You know, it would be interesting for you guys to keep your fake accounts and report back the activities you get. It's really fascinating to see this stuff from the other side. Like IAmtheFMan said, I feel so much better and confident about myself after reading what he gets as messages!
And Leeness, you look fine. I think you just need to get a better handle on your own emotions.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Sucks that they didn't give you a reason. It happened to me a long time ago too. And yep! Now you have time to study. I plan to go to grad school for business sometime soon, but with a f/t job it's a bit hard to find time/motivation sometimes.
Cow Mengde
Banned
BTW, wasn't there an offer for a free month as an A-Lister on the site or something? Has that run out or what? I want to give it a try.
I gave the online dating thing a shot, sent some messages and never heard back. I don't think this is for me right now. As embarrassing as it is for me to say this, I've never been in a relationship. I was homeschooled through high school and the few jobs I've had have been me working with my father or men of his age doing labor work, so it's not like I had much interaction with people my age or that I would want to start a relationship in.
I think I'm going to leave it alone until I've gotten in better shape and learned how to talk to women. It's clear that I'm just not all that appealing right now, hopefully that changes :lol
I'll keep up on this thread to try and pull any advice out for the next time I give it a go.
I think I'm going to leave it alone until I've gotten in better shape and learned how to talk to women. It's clear that I'm just not all that appealing right now, hopefully that changes :lol
I'll keep up on this thread to try and pull any advice out for the next time I give it a go.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Still, I think there's some virtue to staying diligent and keep on being persistent. Online dating is really the most convenient place to learn how to talk to women as it's basically a very casual open forum where you don't have to dress up or anything...
Admittingly, it does get hard as shit sometimes when you don't hear back but once you get the hang of it it's a pretty straightforward process. I've sent out maybe 200 messages to different girls but only heard back from maybe 40-50? So keep fighting!
So time to talk about my date last night, and the date today.
Last night was the girl who asked me out, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I was more excited for the one I had today, but the girl from last night was amazing!
At no point did this girl mention any nerdy stuff about herself. She has a 4 year old girl, great conversationalist, and the ONLY girl I've ever seen pics of who has brown eyes I thought were attractive. I'm really a big sucker for blue/green eyes and a nice smile. This girl turns out she has played KH, FFX/X-2, wants to do cosplay as Yuna at convention of some sort, loves dr who, and has seen a ton of anime. I tend to not reveal my nerd self with any really cute girl off OKC or in person, but last night we had a lot of awesome talk that SHE kept bringing about references to things like Dragon Ball Z, Inuyasha, and more. As for her eyes, I could not stop wanting to look at them. Pictures don't do her justice. Beautiful.
Date went great, made her laugh, some hugs/hand holding, but I couldn't get the kiss. Half because I didn't feel a good opportunity for it, and half because I didn't want to test my luck. Plus she said she wants to hang out again. Of course I text her today though, and no reply on a day she told me she has off...so like any dude I am crossing my fingers her saying she had a good time was sincere and hanging out again will happen. Would love to have her as a valentine's date.
Girl 2 today, the one I was really excited about for looking great in her pics and having a great sense of humor to actually keep up with my zaniness, was also a really great date. She couldn't do food/movie, but we got coffee and talked for probably a hour. She's super good looking too, conversation was great, got hugs, learned a lot, got her to laugh, and also wants to hang out again. I think I'm just stricken with how fun last night was though, that I couldn't fully appreciate this girl being fantastic too. It's just ugh...how do you not as a GAF member NOT go ga ga for a girl that isn't just okay with video games or anime, but is into it and is a total babe?
I was supposed to have another date tonight with a co worker(was supposed to be last night) which I'm glad didn't pan out only because I would've blown of the girl I think is 10/10 the bomb. I tried to reschedule with co worker girl for tonight, but once again, shit changed. I just said in a nice way that she can just get back at me when her schedule isn't hectic, and we can go from there. She was super apologetic and wants to try this coming Saturday when she know's she has the day off. So we'll see what happens then.
Talking to a few other girls too. Supposed date tomorrow night with one other one. Going to close down the OKC for now until I see where anything goes with everyone I'm talking to now, and more so because I have serious intention to pursue the girl from last night as someone I'd want to date.
Will keep ya posted GAF crew!
Last night was the girl who asked me out, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I was more excited for the one I had today, but the girl from last night was amazing!
At no point did this girl mention any nerdy stuff about herself. She has a 4 year old girl, great conversationalist, and the ONLY girl I've ever seen pics of who has brown eyes I thought were attractive. I'm really a big sucker for blue/green eyes and a nice smile. This girl turns out she has played KH, FFX/X-2, wants to do cosplay as Yuna at convention of some sort, loves dr who, and has seen a ton of anime. I tend to not reveal my nerd self with any really cute girl off OKC or in person, but last night we had a lot of awesome talk that SHE kept bringing about references to things like Dragon Ball Z, Inuyasha, and more. As for her eyes, I could not stop wanting to look at them. Pictures don't do her justice. Beautiful.
Date went great, made her laugh, some hugs/hand holding, but I couldn't get the kiss. Half because I didn't feel a good opportunity for it, and half because I didn't want to test my luck. Plus she said she wants to hang out again. Of course I text her today though, and no reply on a day she told me she has off...so like any dude I am crossing my fingers her saying she had a good time was sincere and hanging out again will happen. Would love to have her as a valentine's date.
Girl 2 today, the one I was really excited about for looking great in her pics and having a great sense of humor to actually keep up with my zaniness, was also a really great date. She couldn't do food/movie, but we got coffee and talked for probably a hour. She's super good looking too, conversation was great, got hugs, learned a lot, got her to laugh, and also wants to hang out again. I think I'm just stricken with how fun last night was though, that I couldn't fully appreciate this girl being fantastic too. It's just ugh...how do you not as a GAF member NOT go ga ga for a girl that isn't just okay with video games or anime, but is into it and is a total babe?
I was supposed to have another date tonight with a co worker(was supposed to be last night) which I'm glad didn't pan out only because I would've blown of the girl I think is 10/10 the bomb. I tried to reschedule with co worker girl for tonight, but once again, shit changed. I just said in a nice way that she can just get back at me when her schedule isn't hectic, and we can go from there. She was super apologetic and wants to try this coming Saturday when she know's she has the day off. So we'll see what happens then.
Talking to a few other girls too. Supposed date tomorrow night with one other one. Going to close down the OKC for now until I see where anything goes with everyone I'm talking to now, and more so because I have serious intention to pursue the girl from last night as someone I'd want to date.
Will keep ya posted GAF crew!
It didn't
Lol I'm pretty sure someone just called me fat on Okc. Cool.
Don't you have to actually be fat in order for that to be an insult though?
Also, on a different note, girl I think is awesome from last night while hasn't replied to the only text I sent today...is on OKC I saw. Which isn't huge in of itself since I'm there too and we are both looking around, but it means to me she's looking elsewhere and the date wasn't as mind blowingly awesome as it was to me. Blah. I guess she just had a good time on a friend level, and didn't want to hurt my feelings? Oh well. That's just the way it goes! My luck is usually whoever I am interested in finds me a better friend material than boyfriend material.
Poo.
And your point being? Lol. I fit the bill.
You do not, at all!
So, last night I went out with a girl that I've been messaging on OkCupid for the past month or so. We actually started because we both rated each other highly, and she messaged me after that notification was sent. We met up for dinner. There were the usual pauses in conversation, but overall we both had a good time... I think I'll see if she wants to get together again.
I can understand where she's coming from though. I've been chubby since I was like 13 years old. I wasn't really fat, but I wasn't skinny either. I mean I've lost some weight... but deep inside I still feel pretty fat. :\
Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to send some positive energy her way, goodness knows she gets enough negative crap as it is.
Maddocks
Member
never silence yourself. always be open to share your feelings and give your thoughts. we are outsiders looking in. Its easy as an outsider to say,"your perfect and cute and not fat" but as a person who's living it being told it is like an empty complement. Because they don't understand. So always express yourself.
I get that but eh, I dunno.
I ended up giving it a go because I have really bad pessimism issues and not the best self-confidence, but I'm still stuck on the part where I assume the worst of things because I haven't gotten a reply yet. I've been focusing on those that typically reply to messages. I've been approaching it as more of a being friends first and seeing what happens deal. Bad move? Not sure. I'm not even anti-social or have issues talking with people, I can and have lengthy conversations with people all the time. I can jump into random TeamSpeak servers and just start chatting people up, for example. It's whatever. But this, I just think I'm not ready for it even though I want to be, if that makes sense. I feel that at 20, I really need to get this ball rolling soon.
Yeah, this is true as well. Crap, I'm starting to go into Intarweb White Knight mode, it should probably be me shutting up for now. I do tend to get worked up a bit on stuff like this sometimes.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why do you beat yourself up constantly? You're not fat, I think the biggest problem you have is how you beat on yourself constantly. Things won't go well if you have that low of self worth that you constantly put yourself down. Unless you're not mentioning something, there's nothing that validates the level of abuse you give yourself. I honestly don't understand.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I got a reason, it was just very general. I'm going to get a more clear answer not only so I'll feel better about it but also so I known how I can improve in the future. Not only do I plan on studying for grad school more but also actually sticking to a workout routine. Even without a job I have plenty to do.
You're more insecure than I'd expect. You must really have dug this girl.Also, on a different note, girl I think is awesome from last night while hasn't replied to the only text I sent today...is on OKC I saw. Which isn't huge in of itself since I'm there too and we are both looking around, but it means to me she's looking elsewhere and the date wasn't as mind blowingly awesome as it was to me. Blah. I guess she just had a good time on a friend level, and didn't want to hurt my feelings? Oh well. That's just the way it goes! My luck is usually whoever I am interested in finds me a better friend material than boyfriend material.
Poo.
I feel that way about myself too, but like I said before, you're hawt.
Hopefully Leeness will someday realize how awesome she is so she can be in a happy, nourishing relationship.
A true gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, and GAFfers are too chicken shit to fuck on the first date.
I don't think the same applies to girls....
TheUsual
Gold Member
I was getting pretty fed up with okcupid for a while. Rarely got messages back from girls I messaged. Deactivated my profile for a few months, reactivated it.
Now after about two weeks of talking to this girl, I got her phone number and we are meeting up this week for drinks.
Never say never!
Now after about two weeks of talking to this girl, I got her phone number and we are meeting up this week for drinks.
Never say never!
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
"The best thirty seconds of my life."
She said a few dates.A true gentleman doesn't kiss and tell, and GAFfers are too chicken shit to fuck on the first date.
IAmtheFMan
Member
Okay, for the sake of GAF, I'm re-creating my fake account and will keep the thread updated with info and/or "what not to do's."
My only worry is that I don't fall into this weird Avatar-like identity crisis. One asshole that messaged me before I shut it off, I remember for a split-second thinking, "Excuse me? What kind of girl do you think I am?!" before I realized what had happened.
EDIT: Christ, after a new profile, pics, screen name and everything, I'm seeing a LOT of the same messages from the same dudes from the first go-around.
Cow Mengde
Banned
HAHAHA! Why'd you close the first fake account to begin with? Also, can you post your fake account here so we don't accidentally send you a message?
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