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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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You can bounce back from this. You have nothing to lose, so just act like it doesn't affect you and as if it was YOUR idea to make it platonic.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I think it's better if I just don't respond. Time to move on.
No, don't do this.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Exactly. Walk away while you still have some pride.
ughhhhh! >.< i'd never do this ever.
jamesinclair
Banned
Dont give up bro.
I went on an OKC date. We were waiting for the bus and it was cold.
She said "would you mind giving me a strictly platonic hug Im freezing"
Two hours later clothes were no longer on.
That's different. You were on a real date with no "rules" set before hand, and she just did that a cute ploy for a hug.
Maddocks
Member
damn at that text message, at least you know now instead of 3 weeks into dating and paying for half her stuff.
but still its a dagger to the heart. Laying out rules before hand. If it was me I would say, you want a friend, go on friendster. I want a date which is why I am on a dating website...damn it kelsie.
but still its a dagger to the heart. Laying out rules before hand. If it was me I would say, you want a friend, go on friendster. I want a date which is why I am on a dating website...damn it kelsie.
Devolution
Member
You wouldn't be in that position to do so. He's actually skyped with her. She exists.
jamesinclair
Banned
Nah, he can still go all alpha on her
Go on strictly platonic date
Whip out strictly platonic penis
Get strictly platonic blowjob
I called it the GWG plan.
Hasnt failed me yet.
Moneyhats2k5
Member
Ice cold. Delete her & move on
Red_taiyaki
Member
I feel you on that. I'm in the planning stages for a second date with this girl, and no matter how I look at it...I'm spending around $100.00 regardless of activity. Granted, it's the experience I'm paying for NOT the date. Or at least that's what I like telling myself to help keep my sanity.
GWG? Game winning goal? lol
iAmMaximus
Member
Girl wants to keep texting before going on a coffee date. When do I mention it again?
Maddocks
Member
text few and far between. Once you over text and spill out your secrets that's when the girl usually bails. So its best to plan the date asap and text only when she texts you.
I'll never understand people who type or text "haha". That was first red flag before being friendzoned.
I bet.
yo damn.
Send her a picture of your penis. That'll show her!
In all seriousness though, I would try to bounce back from it. Maybe she's shy and wants to take it slow and so when you show up and the hang out is fuck awesome she THEN see's you as more of romantic spark.
I mean up to now has there been flirty talk? Remember at some point you have to say some sorta shit that isn't just friend material in a text or a phone call. Whether that's a compliment on her looks somehow, or turn it around on her, an example would be like:
She texts you what you are up to, you say, " Just got out of the shower. Yes yes I know, Nakey A human Becoming. Quit day dreaming ya perv!...also your hiding spot in the bushes wasn't very discrete. I'm on to you! "
^ Something like that is flirty, not friendish, but not over the line to be taken as woah creeper/sex fiend.
Has there been any flirty chat between you though? If there has, then you need a recovery text like, "Platonic? Well of course. I'm not some cheap floozy you can just take home. You have to buy me a drink first at least!
" That's a decent recovery text. Go there, wow her with your awesomeness, and if at the end she only still see's you as friend material? Oh well. A night out with a good looking girl, some food in your stomach, and hell maybe a friend worth having, or at the least, experience on dates for future girls off OKC.
donkey show
Member
donkey show
Member
Go for it.
WascallyWabbit
Member
That's fine, age is really about attitude and what stage of life you're in as opposed to years
Also, its just a burger, go for it
Here's a story for you guys:
So, last night I began chatting with the most attractive girl I've seen on the site so far. We move it to texting, and then eventually to facebook. I'm really excited about her, she seems really into me, all is great, right?
Well, there's one problem. I'm really committed to saving myself sexually for marriage. I practice abstinence for practical and personal reasons in addition to religious ones. I'm frank and open about this with girls I've dated, and even when I date non-religious girls it has been a non-issue.
Well, this girl tells me she has a very high sex drive. But she says she respects me and my beliefs and all that. I ask her if it's a dealbreaker that I won't have sex until marriage, and she says no.
Today, we text and chat some more, and talk about meeting up soon. After talking about potential plans some more, she asks what I think about the meetup. I tell her that I'm excited and looking forward to it. She says she is too, but just as friends.
I can't help but laugh. The chemistry was great, we were flirting and chatting til 4AM in the morning last night. I ask her what's going on, and she basically says that she has needs and wants that have to be fulfilled, and that my not having sex is a dealbreaker. I tell her I understand (and I do) and I wish her the best of luck.
She's surprised I don't want to be friends, but I explain that in the past I've found that friendships between guys and girls that have different expectations at the outset don't work, and that I'd always be pushing for something more romantically, even if only sub-consciously.
I believe I did the right thing, but I'd love to hear some of your opinions on this. I know I'm a minority in this world, and especially on GAF, but hopefully someone out there will be understanding.
So, last night I began chatting with the most attractive girl I've seen on the site so far. We move it to texting, and then eventually to facebook. I'm really excited about her, she seems really into me, all is great, right?
Well, there's one problem. I'm really committed to saving myself sexually for marriage. I practice abstinence for practical and personal reasons in addition to religious ones. I'm frank and open about this with girls I've dated, and even when I date non-religious girls it has been a non-issue.
Well, this girl tells me she has a very high sex drive. But she says she respects me and my beliefs and all that. I ask her if it's a dealbreaker that I won't have sex until marriage, and she says no.
Today, we text and chat some more, and talk about meeting up soon. After talking about potential plans some more, she asks what I think about the meetup. I tell her that I'm excited and looking forward to it. She says she is too, but just as friends.
I can't help but laugh. The chemistry was great, we were flirting and chatting til 4AM in the morning last night. I ask her what's going on, and she basically says that she has needs and wants that have to be fulfilled, and that my not having sex is a dealbreaker. I tell her I understand (and I do) and I wish her the best of luck.
She's surprised I don't want to be friends, but I explain that in the past I've found that friendships between guys and girls that have different expectations at the outset don't work, and that I'd always be pushing for something more romantically, even if only sub-consciously.
I believe I did the right thing, but I'd love to hear some of your opinions on this. I know I'm a minority in this world, and especially on GAF, but hopefully someone out there will be understanding.
It doesn't. I just wanted to share my story like so many others do.
I don't care about the age gap, but 19 is freakin young lol. Tread carefully, she probably wants different things in life, etc etc.
JimtotheHum
Member
Yeah, she can't even get into bars yet.
Red_taiyaki
Member
This SO MUCH. I love texting as much as the next guy, but texting girl you're interested is death. TEXT ONCE YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP, NOT BEFORE :V
Call. Always.
Or video chat. Don't reply right away to texts either.
I dunno man, it's your life and your decision but you gotta realize that it's an extremely old-fashioned and outdated point of view, and you'll probably have a hard time finding someone who'll put up with it in the long term. Unless they're like you, and, as you said, that's a minority.
Is it worth it to you to stand by your beliefs, when they can interfere so badly with your romantic life? Maybe you should be the one doing some understanding.
I mean I respect sticking with your guns, and I'm sure you feel under the gun and tested to slip up often with this, but personally I can't wrap my brain around it.
I spent about 4-5 years before the last girl I was with without sex. By no means was I craving it like an animal or something, and was fine since I only sleep with someone I'm in a relationship with. However, my best analogy to this is, would you marry someone you have never lived with? Sex with someone in a long committed relationship is something that for me, I need to know how it is before we make that big final commitment for one another. I would be miserable if we get married and the sex chemistry isn't there. What if one wants it all the time and the other hates it, or both hate it and feel let down that it strains on the relationship, or it's a chore, etc etc etc.
Knowing each others bodies, how often she wants it, what to do to make it great for her, and vice versa, is something you want to establish before marriage.(To me) Same with living with a girl... I need to know her habits after work with me, cleanliness, bathroom time, etc. Plus sleeping in the same bed, and what kind of company she wants to bring over.
If you are fully stuck in your way, then so be it, but maybe it's time to bend a little to your rule and you may have just the right girl for it. Maybe you just don't sleep with her until after 2 months of dating.
Otherwise, send her back to GAF... plenty of piranha men here waiting to chomp at the bit I'm sure hahaha.
Texting her before you two meet you need to keep light and interesting, and should only be 2-3 days max before a planned meet up. I think I went over it in here what I've done and it works fine. A simple few a day back and forth, a joke if you got 'em, and some inquiries to her and hopefully she has some for you. You over share and she won't care.
hypostasis
Banned
Yes, the context by itself makes her intentions clear, let alone the content of our communications. Anyways, thanks broskis.
No one's rated me in here
Where's your profile?
About 30 posts up.
I gave you one. It's probably because you put it in a quote.
Thanks, rated you too. I quoted it so only people here can see it. Is there a way to make it visible to only members without quoting it?
hypostasis
Banned
I don't doubt that this has worked for you nor that it may be the best default approach, but I will observe that several of my (so far successful, viz., they've transitioned offsite to phone talk) interactions have either been somewhat even exchanges of conversational control or have been led by the woman (one felt like a flirtatious interview).
As one might expect, it really depends on the woman.
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