peteykirch
Member
That's the plan, or I could just be a real jerk and play mind games with her, and use her for my advantage, but that totally goes against everything I believe in.
Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
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That's the plan, or I could just be a real jerk and play mind games with her, and use her for my advantage, but that totally goes against everything I believe in.
Messypandas
Member
*sigh*
Yup... UNTIL THE SEX
Nothing wrong with a catch and release to soften a dry spell!
starchild excalibur
Member
Am I seriously the only one that laughed at "fuck my life?"
Sorry to hear about your situation though. Keep us posted if she keeps texting you.
Sorry to hear about your situation though. Keep us posted if she keeps texting you.
peteykirch
Member
I mean yesterday she hardly texted, she sent me one message after I wished her good luck on her exam she had, and that was all I got. It wasn't like I bombarded with texts, after that I didn't send a single thing.
Then I text her this morning, and all of this happens.
Doesn't help I asked her when did she intend on telling me this, and she couldn't give me a straight answer.
It's even better when your ex gf tries to use you as an emotional crutch when things aren't going right with her current boyfriend. I knew getting in touch with her was a bad idea long before this and that was the final proof.
What would you gain from that? Serious, non jerk question.
peteykirch
Member
Well, she deleted her profile, so I guess she really expects it to be something legitimate and meaningful.
NobleGundam
Banned
Robin Williams or Nothing
Hi I'm 12 and what's GAF?
So my date for her coming over actually turned into a 5 hour adventure at the mall here. She had me try on clothes she thought I'd look good in, we got food, we got ice cream, we sat with unknown little kids drawing with chalk, bought clothes for her and her daughter, and just all in all was a really cool day. Neither of us are big shoppers at all, but she had to get stuff for a wedding and another event for her and her daughter.
I like this girl a lot and I'm glad I deleted my OKC to focus on her. 2 other girls still want to hang out with me, but at this point I don't see the point. My only "iffy" feeling at this point is since my OKC is gone, I'm wondering if hers still exists and she's still shopping around. :/
I like this girl a lot and I'm glad I deleted my OKC to focus on her. 2 other girls still want to hang out with me, but at this point I don't see the point. My only "iffy" feeling at this point is since my OKC is gone, I'm wondering if hers still exists and she's still shopping around. :/
Red_taiyaki
Member
I'm amazed that worked. Too bad it doesn't work if you're just meeting someone....THEN AGAIN, WHO KNOWS! Each girl is different...
Also, now I'm scared shitless and need to bring my A game the next time I meet this girl I just met on Wed. Thanks Gaf ;P!
My friend, you are taking quite the risk. I know you're excited, but I don't know if that's the smartest thing to do. Well, maybe it is depending on how much you've been talking to her but I would only disable my account once it's a for sure thing and talked it over with her. Then again, this is just my opinion and what I would do. Trusting your own judgement is the best course of action in this case.
Well I stopped the OKC, because at the point of closure I was frequently texting about 6 women, and I didn't want to keep on adding more which is what was happening. I know we all tell each other not to fall too fast and play it cool, but I knew I liked this girl after 1 date. Been playing it cool either way after, and we text everyday back and forth, have phone conversations, and if you saw us together you'd swear we were a couple already. We're in each others personal bubbles all the time. An elderly woman who sat with her at the fitting rooms thought we were together and was saying I looked good in the stuff she was picking out for me haha. Plus, the little kids we sat with were saying we are a cool boyfriend and girlfriend at one point.
I'm still playing it cool and waiting to hang out a few more times before I ask her to be official. Right now I'm fine with just seeing each other, because I do need to know a little more about her, but everything we learn about each other we like each other more.
Must...resist....awesomeness.
At a few point she came in yes. The place had a rule that only 1 person in the room at a time, but we were rebels.
Plus I just got a text saying she wants to hang out soon, and wanted to hang out more today too, but we both had to go so it's all good.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Well, I must congratulate you then
. Hope things work out for the best.In terms of this girl I'm currently (somewhat) seeing, I know I like her -not love- and that she's still shopping around. I'm fine with it. We both realize atm that it's a numbers game and there's danger in getting too wrapped around one person after one date. I appreciate the fact that she was so upfront about it, as I was able to tell her that I'm still doing it too. Still, with all these recent OKC Gaf revelations, I feel that this might all be that push I need to be more pro-active next time I see her. We'll see how this goes.
Well, I must congratulate you then
In terms of this girl I'm currently (somewhat) seeing, I know I like her -not love- and that she's still shopping around. I'm fine with it. We both realize atm that it's a numbers game and there's danger in getting too wrapped around one person after one date. I appreciate the fact that she was so upfront about it, as I was able to tell her that I'm still doing it too. Still, with all these recent OKC Gaf revelations, I feel that this might all be that push I need to be more pro-active next time I see her. We'll see how this goes.
You have to read the person and the situation. We don't gain anything playing it COMPLETELY safe. At some point you have to take a bit of a risk, and really if you being like hey I like you, let's focus on each other more, turns her off...well hey she probably isn't the girl you're looking for then.
Red_taiyaki
Member
What was funny was I didn't feel any chemistry with her until almost the end of the date when it was getting late already. Thanks for the advice guys!
I've had maybe only three first dates that led to a second so I'm still relatively inexperienced with this stuff. Granted, past two girls I met with on OKC wanted a second date....I wasn't feeling them so I didn't pursue.
Holy shit.
So I messaged this girl this morning because she had viewed my profile on POF. Very pretty, into games, all that good stuff.
I got a reply quick and were having a good back and fourth and I'm talking to her on skype now but she doesn't have a cam or anything so were just IMing.
She sent a message she got on there and it was pretty funny so I said I'm guessing you get a lot of messages on there.
She told me she has 111 unread right now and I asked how long it took for that to build up. She said her profile isn't even a day old. Wow
So I messaged this girl this morning because she had viewed my profile on POF. Very pretty, into games, all that good stuff.
I got a reply quick and were having a good back and fourth and I'm talking to her on skype now but she doesn't have a cam or anything so were just IMing.
She sent a message she got on there and it was pretty funny so I said I'm guessing you get a lot of messages on there.
She told me she has 111 unread right now and I asked how long it took for that to build up. She said her profile isn't even a day old. Wow
Maddocks
Member
and she picked you......your god damn abs. How dare you show off your 6 pack while others have beer stores!
Lol I took that picture off.
My profile talks about how I'm looking for that one girl, someone who is there for me and completely accepts me for me and then when I don't have a shirt on it completely contradicts it. It makes it seem like I'm just looking for a hook up.
If I had a picture on the beach I'd throw it up in a heart beat.
hypostasis
Banned
Nice.
I'm sure this has already been mentioned somewhere in these 220+ pages, but a man can gain a lot of insight creating a fake profile with a pic or two of a very attractive woman. You get to observe first-hand what it's like for such a woman (the huge volume of messages, the constant references to looks or sex, etc.), and can perhaps glean a method for sticking out when messaging them.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Hell, I created (and now deleted) a fake female profile with nothing filled out other than questions. I got an average of three new messages per week. And heck, I said I was married too! :V
hypostasis
Banned
Just to clarify, you had pictures up too, or literally only questions filled out?
hypostasis
Banned
I called her out on it, I don't know if she's being honest or what at this point, but it is what it is.
Surely you weren't engaging in this behavior (having a textual emotional meltdown, "calling" this person out, decrying "fuck my life," etc.) over someone you haven't ever met in person? Right?
Red_taiyaki
Member
No pictures along with nothing filled out.
hypostasis
Banned
Hahah, that is terrific.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Goes to show you how desperate/stupid some guys are on OKC. I was honestly quite amazed when I still had the profile up.
peteykirch
Member
I don't get women.
peteykirch
Member
jamesinclair
Banned
Yeah, ignore what they say they want. Everyone is there for the same thing, dating, fucking, and maybe a relationship. Proceed and try to bump the other dude out if you want but don't expect anything so you don't get burned.
peteykirch
Member
I messaged her that perhaps she should be honest and change what she wants in her profile, if she feels he's the "one".
I didn't get a reply.
Amory
Member
Think she meant to say she doesn't know that he's the one.
Though TBH if that's the first message she ever sent you I'd run fast in the other direction anyway.
Gotta say, kinda bums me out that pretty much any girl with similar interests to me never replies back. I get an okay amount of replies back but the ones that genuinely would be good to date never do. I came across 2 girls yesterday with similar music(which is rare in itself), movies, hobbies and even kinda geeky. I send a message, nothing, not even a page view. I only ever attract opposites it seems.
Maddocks
Member
I know that feeling. Hate messaging girls and getting nothing back, not even a page view.
Amory
Member
You probably have more in common with the girls who message you back than you'd think from just looking at their profiles. I mean, yeah it's nice to have a basis for conversation but I personally like meeting people I don't have a crazy amount in common with. Makes it more interesting.
peteykirch
Member
Yeah that's possible, and yes that's the first message she sent to me.
NobleGundam
Banned
This douche PMs me to Troll on a dating site...
squeeze928: wow ur a business owner ,,kudos to u,,and a smart ass,,,great,,,enjoy ur dogs and cats and the poop LOL
Today 1:25pm
TonyStark117: Yes I am a business owner. Thank you. Acquired my whole sale license, products, a store, and created a community for kids & adults to enjoy.
Not a huge nor annoying smartass, but enough to enjoy the company and commentary.
Also try PM the opposite sex to get results. You're doing it wrong.
squeeze928: wow ur a business owner ,,kudos to u,,and a smart ass,,,great,,,enjoy ur dogs and cats and the poop LOL
Today 1:25pm
TonyStark117: Yes I am a business owner. Thank you. Acquired my whole sale license, products, a store, and created a community for kids & adults to enjoy.
Not a huge nor annoying smartass, but enough to enjoy the company and commentary.
Also try PM the opposite sex to get results. You're doing it wrong.
Damn son. Ice cold...
Different ball parks for people to be batting in. Definitely not a cute girl to me, but that doesn't mean she isn't attractive to plenty of other dudes.
Then again the girl I'm seeing would blow most of GAF's minds, but even if she didn't she is a total babe to me and that's all that matters.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Well OkGAF, after my recent two failed attempts, I've deactivated my account to focus on improving my current situation which entails losing almost 30 pounds, getting a new job and studying for my GRE test in one month. I haven't given up, I just want to make my life better. I won't be returning to the scene until I've completed all three goals. I'll be lurking and chiming in from time-to-time.
Went on a couple first dates from OkC. I feel bad to say this since I'm not exactly Brad Pitt but I didn't feel any physical attraction, they were a bit on the larger side. Second one was super easy to talk to as well. At least it's a start though. I went to therapy for anxiety and my psychologist was always trying to get me to at least go on a date no matter if I was attracted or not. That's out of the way now.
Is it bad form to not at least text them if I'm not interested? I'm a bit old to not know WTF I'm doing (30s) but years of anxiety issues sabotaged me.
Is it bad form to not at least text them if I'm not interested? I'm a bit old to not know WTF I'm doing (30s) but years of anxiety issues sabotaged me.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
hahaha @ peteykirch. Women see right through you, dude. You're getting the same "you seem really sweet and nice and great" speech from everyone. It means they know you're a creepy wuss, and your meltdowns show it.
Why are you taking this so personally? Seems like a reasonable response to me from a woman who's still checking out her options before fully committing.
hypostasis
Banned
Dropping hours and hours of interaction without securing a meet-up seems awfully inefficient to me. What's your rationale for this rather than, say, moving to a few phone interactions and then proceeding to in-person?
You can't be serious. I've been dating a girl from the site for almost 2 months, and we both left our profiles up while dating for 4-5 weeks. I didn't bother making any changes to my profile for what I was looking for while dating her.
The only thing that's weird about it is she gave you such a long and weird response. The 2 girls I've dated that left their profiles up just didn't bother responding to any new messages before they disabled their profile.
She seemed very civil in her response. Don't know why you would go out and be hostile towards her.
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