What's my rationale? I was bored and she was feeding my ego.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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What's my rationale? I was bored and she was feeding my ego.
jamesinclair
Banned
Loaded up the fake profile
400+views
100+ messages
Including
400+views
100+ messages
Including
jamesinclair
Banned
Seriously bro?
In the line Wherefore art thou Romeo?, what does wherefore mean?
How
Just forget about any girls.
OK, so I keep seeing people following this routine:
on-site chat -> texting/facebook -> date
I feel like I'm doing something very wrong, because I never feel like I'd want to move it to texting. I can get them to talk with me, but I just don't know how to proceed from there.
I know I'm rusty, but damn. I suppose I'm talking about way too many topics before meeting up, but how do I keep it short and just ask them out?
on-site chat -> texting/facebook -> date
I feel like I'm doing something very wrong, because I never feel like I'd want to move it to texting. I can get them to talk with me, but I just don't know how to proceed from there.
I know I'm rusty, but damn. I suppose I'm talking about way too many topics before meeting up, but how do I keep it short and just ask them out?
donkey show
Member
Hahaha this is killing me. xD
WascallyWabbit
Member
That was pretty funny. But I think I usually see a 1 in 10 responses correct on this one, same odds as the STEAL, STAEL question.
The one you gotta watch out for is: Do you believe in dinosaurs?
That's a deal breaker for me
hypostasis
Banned
Oh, ok. I wasn't sure if this was standard procedure or not.
Amory
Member
Cut out the middleman. I don't move it to texting before I ask them out, I do it all in one message.
"So I was thinking it'd be fun to meet up for coffee or a drink after work on Wednesday. Interested? My number is..."
Usually I do this in message 3. If they've answered the first 2, there's a good chance they're interested enough to go out. Offering my number first means I don't have to ask for theirs, they'll include it in their response if they want to go out.
Had the worst date experience yesterday. Met a great girl and had smoothies at the park and the whole time my nervousness kept me from talking right... I felt like I wanted to say certain things but they wouldn't come out.... I've never had this problem before and been on countless dates and in several relationships.. She said it was no big deal and liked me but the texting conversations have pretty much died since.
Question OKCupid-GAF:
I've been on OKC for about 3 weeks so far, only 1 date, but a dozen message threads. I don't have much of a profile written and I'm actually debating even writing more.
On Saturday I got an email from OKC saying something like "We think you are hot! We are adjusting your match settings so your profile will appear to more attractive people."
Ever since (admittedly I haven't been on very long) OKC seems to have kicked it up a notch - I've gone from 4 visitors a day to 12 or more, and some of them seem pretty hot. So question:
1) What did I really do to get this email? Do most people get that email after a while? I have a theory it's based on the number of message threads you start.
2) Is there anything I can do to lose that status? Or is it permanent?
I've been on OKC for about 3 weeks so far, only 1 date, but a dozen message threads. I don't have much of a profile written and I'm actually debating even writing more.
On Saturday I got an email from OKC saying something like "We think you are hot! We are adjusting your match settings so your profile will appear to more attractive people."
Ever since (admittedly I haven't been on very long) OKC seems to have kicked it up a notch - I've gone from 4 visitors a day to 12 or more, and some of them seem pretty hot. So question:
1) What did I really do to get this email? Do most people get that email after a while? I have a theory it's based on the number of message threads you start.
2) Is there anything I can do to lose that status? Or is it permanent?
TestOfTide
Banned
So does anyone know a good way to start a coversation with people on okc? I want to simply say "hey what's up" but I assume that would come off as very creepy to randomly talk to someone like that.
Amory
Member
"Hey, my name's X. [Pick one or two things from their profile and ask a question about them]. Hope to talk to you more soon!"
Don't overcomplicate things. In all honesty, 99% of their choice to reply or not is gonna depend on whether they like what they see. There's merit to finding a cute gimmick to your messages, but it doesn't make an ounce of difference if there's no physical attraction.
antipode said:
I think almost everyone gets that email. Seems like it's to get you more invested in the site, but I could be wrong.
WascallyWabbit
Member
What about her made you so nervous? Also, you can always just text and ask her how her day/week/weekend went if you need to start a convo
Red_taiyaki
Member
Just ask her out again anyways. You have no idea when a girl might have been feeling only lukewarm about a date and then will give you a second chance if there's something about you that they like.
At this point, what exactly do you have to lose?
Also, this ^^^.
I guess I'll try and once again get some of you to upvote my profile, maybe suggest some changes? 
Quote this post to see a link to my profile on okcupid. Hopefully I'll be added to the "active" users soon, so I can see more options, as there are only about 6 women in my area it seems
Quote this post to see a link to my profile on okcupid. Hopefully I'll be added to the "active" users soon, so I can see more options, as there are only about 6 women in my area it seems
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
My OKC chick seems to be fading away it seems. She's moving (40 minutes away) soon for a new job. She's never seemed committed to wanting to date anyways. Said coffee was "hanging out" and only our dinner meet-up was a "date." Which is fine, it just seems like she's looking for excuses now.
Sucks because she's the first person I've had a date with on there in a year of being on the site. Hopefully something else pops up soon.
Sucks because she's the first person I've had a date with on there in a year of being on the site. Hopefully something else pops up soon.
Maddocks
Member
Like I have said before, never treat a date like a date. Treat it like you would hanging out with friends. When you place "date" on it, you add pressure to yourself that's not needed. If you relax and treat it like a regular ol tuesday night. You will find the pressure is gone and everything flows more naturally. I had this problem where on dates I would use it only to show off and impress when I should have relaxed a bit and just let conversation flow.
if she gives you another date, just relax I mean if she said yes, you already won. So talk and chat like you would buddies and you will find her relaxing and it will cause you to relax even more and then bam....love will bloom.
if she gives you another date, just relax I mean if she said yes, you already won. So talk and chat like you would buddies and you will find her relaxing and it will cause you to relax even more and then bam....love will bloom.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Or you can try to be like me and just treat about any one-on-one interaction as a date (as corny as that sounds). Bro-date, mommy-date, friend-date. The point is to just get any association with the word "date" as something special out of your head and you'll experience less pressure.
Like last week, I went on a date with my MALE co-worker to an Indian restaurant. We had conversation and good food. Over the weekend I had a date with my brother during lunch and went shopping. Fun times.
Maddocks
Member
yeah. both work. One by taking the "date" away from everything and another by adding "date" to everything. I approve. Anything to get the pressure off. Many a dates have been ruined because of the whole,"I must impress this person" when it should be,"I want to have fun with this person"
I have done it too. I have tried to impress more then I tried to have fun and it ruined many. Ah so many mistakes made lol
Red_taiyaki
Member
OMFG You should have seen me during my early dating days in college. I was a LOL-mess!
Actually, I was a mess until last August when I decided to stop trying to impress and lie, etc. etc. It took a traumatizing experience to get me to try and stop saying, "I must impress this person."
Yay for learning!
WascallyWabbit
Member
A great piece of advice i've always tried to heed:
Most times nervousness on a date comes from you thinking in your head, "am I good enough for him/her?" When really, you should be thinking "Is he/she good enough for me?"
That will change your whole vibe
Most times nervousness on a date comes from you thinking in your head, "am I good enough for him/her?" When really, you should be thinking "Is he/she good enough for me?"
That will change your whole vibe
I definitely just wing it.
People start to feel comfortable with me pretty quickly if they skype or talk to me on the phone. I'm not sure, I've heard from a lot of people I have kind of a calming way about me.
If we talk for a while we then we talk for a while. It doesn't matter to me, I don't really have rules I follow like a lot of guys do.
ginger ninja
Banned
One of these days i am gonna gather enough courage to take some actual good pics and reactivate my profile : |
i deactivated it after like 2 days a few months ago because it was getting too much, i was being self conscious
i deactivated it after like 2 days a few months ago because it was getting too much, i was being self conscious
ginger ninja
Banned
I called her out on it, I don't know if she's being honest or what at this point, but it is what it is.
Dude, not that it matters anymore but this girl, aparna...There's a girl by that name in my class and i wonder if she's the same one
edit: apologies for the double post
gawd damn, ever since those small tweaks to my profile and adding a new pic, my answer rate has gotten pretty damn good, and been getting unsolicited messages somewhat regularly. It's too bad I've got nothing too promising going at the moment, damn scheduling really screwed me last time
Dude, not that it matters anymore but this girl, aparna...There's a girl by that name in my class and i wonder if she's the same one
edit: apologies for the double post
aparna is a pretty common indian name...
Frustrated_me
Member
Ok Gaf, what do you think? Should I propose a date? It's her only picture on OKC, should I be worried shes big or something? I'm new to this.. She sounds like a good person so far during our chats. Should I lock a date?
ginger ninja
Banned
still just making sure mang, is she from NJ ?
WascallyWabbit
Member
So many things wrong with this:
a) If you like her, and think she's cool to chat with, absolutely go on a date
b) if you're worried that she's gonna be bigger than this pic, it's true, she might be. But she alsomight look even better in person, you will never know until you meet
c) You shouldn't care what random people on GAF think of this girl, do YOU find her attractive? That's all that matters.
Frustrated_me
Member
What I was going to do anyways Going in for the kill.
Going in for the kill.Bah, I'm five messages deep with this girl and she's responding pretty well, actually having a conversation that is more than a couple of sentences. Can't decide if I should pull the trigger and ask her if she wants to get a drink later this week or wait another couple of messages. Don't want to ask too soon but I also don't want her to lose interest. She's hot so this one feels slightly intimidating as opposed to the other girls I'v asked out on this where I was just like fuck it.
I think I'm about done with OKcupid. I've been on since November now I think. I completely understand having to keep at it and message as many people as possible. But good gravy, getting people to actually respond is few and far in-between. I got some more responses when I kept the original message short and sweet, that did help. But not much.
My most recent conversation with a girl had us going back and forth for a while now. Things seemed to be going well and she seemed genuinely interested. I decided to give her a link my Facebook. She said she was starting a new job, and her responses started to slow down to the point where she hadn't responded in a few days. I figure she must be busy, no big deal. I went online today to see that she has deactivated her account. She never connected with my Facebook. No idea what happened. lol.
My most recent conversation with a girl had us going back and forth for a while now. Things seemed to be going well and she seemed genuinely interested. I decided to give her a link my Facebook. She said she was starting a new job, and her responses started to slow down to the point where she hadn't responded in a few days. I figure she must be busy, no big deal. I went online today to see that she has deactivated her account. She never connected with my Facebook. No idea what happened. lol.
WascallyWabbit
Member
You should just ask. Don't put her on a pedastal because she's hot. Then again, we can't really give too much advice since it does depend on the flow of the conversation, you're the only one who knows if it's appropriate.
Red_taiyaki
Member
You just need to do it. Good luck bro!
Rodney McKay
Member
Sweet! I got a date for tomorrow night.
She seems like a great find. Pics are attractive, works not far from where I live, shares a lot of my interests, etc.
I thought I almost lost her when we were messaging. I would respond and include a question and I would get no response for a while. I finally just bit the bullet and asked if she wanted to text instead and included my phone number. I got a text from her soon after that!
She seems like a great find. Pics are attractive, works not far from where I live, shares a lot of my interests, etc.
I thought I almost lost her when we were messaging. I would respond and include a question and I would get no response for a while. I finally just bit the bullet and asked if she wanted to text instead and included my phone number. I got a text from her soon after that!
WascallyWabbit
Member
Nice! Let us know how it goes.
peteykirch
Member
Dude, not that it matters anymore but this girl, aparna...There's a girl by that name in my class and i wonder if she's the same one
edit: apologies for the double post
You go to Rutgers?
jamesinclair
Banned
And now were getting somewhere interesting.
Cook campus is quite windy today, isnt it?
Yeah, bit the bullet and did it. Pretty sure she'll probably say yes. Guess I'll keep GAF updated!
peteykirch
Member
I wouldn't know, I don't have classes on Cook, and I'm not in class on Monday.
peteykirch
Member
I was quite civil in mine, I just suggested that if you were seeing someone steadily for over a month, maybe change something in your profile.
jamesinclair
Banned
Makes sense, Aparna is more of a Busch kind of name.
Yeah I'll admit it is funny. She was probably a dude too lol.
Maddocks
Member
By default your top matches will be locked to 3 stars and below. So the ratings unlock 4-5 star matches.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Forget what I said earlier, she randomly sent me a text today asking when she gets to see me again. Date is set for Saturday
Congrats bro!
jamesinclair
Banned
Just two things to look out for....
Its spring semester....she might be in high school.
AKA: Go for it
.....but she also might be lying about her age and be 17. Happened to me man. Close call.
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