TheyTookOurJobs
Member
Lota thick, nerdy girls on there. I met a girl on there (she reached out to me), but it didn't work out.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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The thing that blows my mind most about you is that you think I'm out to make everyone clones of me. You -can- give advice for relationships and life lessons in general if it has worked for you. That's how advice works.
I think it's important to list what you are actually interested in, if you are trying to meet someone that you want to date seriously/marry. If you are looking for something else, you don't have to worry as much about the future and the survival of your relationship. As always, listing too much of anything is going to raise red flags. I mean, if you listed out 100 movies you liked, people would wonder why you dedicated so much space to movies.
Almost every guy I know plays video games - either casually or "seriously". For many of my friends that are single, meeting a guy who games isn't indicative of anything. Most look at pictures and general information. They may be scared off by someone who lists a ton of recognizable RPG games, however, but that would be because they may assume that the person would be playing them constantly. Before I was in "the know" about video games, meeting a guy who played video games made zero difference to me. If anything, it was a plus because it meant he probably knew his way around a computer, which is a "must know" for me.
I learned recently that my friend met someone on OKCupid. They've been dating for 8 months and are a fantastic match. Both told me that they were brutally honest on their profiles. I think if you want to meet someone compatible with you and you aren't interested in changing yourself, honesty really is key.
Almost every guy I know plays video games - either casually or "seriously". For many of my friends that are single, meeting a guy who games isn't indicative of anything. Most look at pictures and general information. They may be scared off by someone who lists a ton of recognizable RPG games, however, but that would be because they may assume that the person would be playing them constantly. Before I was in "the know" about video games, meeting a guy who played video games made zero difference to me. If anything, it was a plus because it meant he probably knew his way around a computer, which is a "must know" for me.
I learned recently that my friend met someone on OKCupid. They've been dating for 8 months and are a fantastic match. Both told me that they were brutally honest on their profiles. I think if you want to meet someone compatible with you and you aren't interested in changing yourself, honesty really is key.
WascallyWabbit
Member
I think it's about what you're looking for, if you want someone for a super long term, serious relationship? Then you should put anything that you consider as a defining personality trait in your profile.
Are video games a big part of your life that defines who you are? Are you looking for someone to really get a long-term relationship? Then put it in there
Are video games a big part of your life that defines who you are? Are you looking for someone to really get a long-term relationship? Then put it in there
Keep trying dude. Don't give up hope.
WascallyWabbit
Member
them's the breaks, but at least you know the women who dismissed you based on race probably aren't worth being with anyways
I agree. I know plenty of women who are amazing and are just looking for someone compatible, race is not even a thing.
Keep your head up, man. There are plenty of Caucasian women out there just looking for a nice guy. Be confident in yourself and you'll find someone. It's worth the wait.
Additionally, if you already put the things you really like (e.g. Games) in your profile, then you'll be MUCH more comfortable going on a date and talkig about it, and don't have to be anxious about the effects of bringing it up eventually. If she thought games were a dealbreaker she wouldn't have agreed to go out with you in the first place.
Unless you're a PUA and don't care at all, of course, but I like to think we shouldn't be giving advice for that here, since I feel like that kind of defeats the purpose.
Unless you're a PUA and don't care at all, of course, but I like to think we shouldn't be giving advice for that here, since I feel like that kind of defeats the purpose.
jamesinclair
Banned
Depends, do you look and sound like Ricky Martin?
Gets me to wonder how Interficium dates
Fact. I'm a Hispanic dude dating a beautiful Caucasian woman I met on OKC. You just have to stick with it.
NihonTiger90
Member
Got a message today!
By someone I sadly have no one interest in. Damn. At least she called me sexy.
I also messaged another girl, who responded, but now I'm playing the old waiting game of hoping she'll respond to my response. No use worrying over it though, right?
By someone I sadly have no one interest in. Damn. At least she called me sexy.
I also messaged another girl, who responded, but now I'm playing the old waiting game of hoping she'll respond to my response. No use worrying over it though, right?
Got a message today!
By someone I sadly have no one interest in. Damn. At least she called me sexy.
I also messaged another girl, who responded, but now I'm playing the old waiting game of hoping she'll respond to my response. No use worrying over it though, right?
Pretty much. Just forget about it, that's kind of the approach I've decided to take
Cow Mengde
Banned
Shit, that reminds me I still haven't decided on new photos to put up. So damn busy with so many projects.
Confidence builder broGot a message today!
By someone I sadly have no one interest in. Damn. At least she called me sexy.
I also messaged another girl, who responded, but now I'm playing the old waiting game of hoping she'll respond to my response. No use worrying over it though, right?
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Precisely.
There's nothing wrong with listing video games, but just like with any hobby you don't want to spend an undue time discussing your love for video games.
I can see why someone might want to leave things like gaming and anime out of their profile. I don't think it is an actual deal breaker for most women, but it when they get so many messages it might help to get you filtered out before you even get a chance.
That said, if you are really into gaming or anime (or are looking for a woman that is) it is makes sense to leave it there.
That said, if you are really into gaming or anime (or are looking for a woman that is) it is makes sense to leave it there.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Looks good, but you wrote that you like Game of Throwns, not sure if intentional.
Also, in the thumbnail profile pic, that shirt color and your skin tone are alike enough I thought it was a shirtless pic lol. Not sure if that matters to you or not, but alot of girls aren't into that. Possibly suggest the headshot of you in the jacket and Nets hat?
thanks, that was definitely not done on purpose lol, but its odd you say that about the main pic. maybe its the lighting because the shirt is red, and im pretty dark. that picture you suggested was my profile pic for a while though. Figured I'd switch it up a bit.
WascallyWabbit
Member
It could just be my screen, but i do try to pay attention to how my thumbnail looks as that's what most people will see first and foremost
EDIT: Just gave you a rating too
Probably your screen, I wouldn't have thought so. But still if you perceive it as such then there are probably others who do so as well. I'm partial to the picture with the red tie and white shirt. If only Misterhbk would have turned his phone around, so that it wasn't visible.
To critique: I would lose the second paragraph of the "You should message me" section.
Confused101
Member
So last night I went to call the girl I've been texting and I experienced one of the largest waves of anxiety that I've ever felt. Then I realized that, technically, I've never done this before. My past relationships have been friends that I've known over a period of time and it was almost like a mutual thing to start dating. Now I have to take the initiative and I'm freezing up like a 15 year old trying to ask his crush out to the school dance. I'm thirty fucking two years old! Man, I'm just the worst at this. Every time I think about it, my heart rate skyrockets. Ugh.
Well, if I don't take action tonight, I might as well forget about it because she's not going to wait forever. I haven't been on a first date for 11 years. That relationship lasted 7 years and it's been about 4 years since she broke up with me. I can't believe how pathetic that sounds. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this relationship business.
Bleh, that's not right either though. The more I think about it, the more I want to be in a relationship. Someone or something just give me the strength to do this.
Well, if I don't take action tonight, I might as well forget about it because she's not going to wait forever. I haven't been on a first date for 11 years. That relationship lasted 7 years and it's been about 4 years since she broke up with me. I can't believe how pathetic that sounds. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this relationship business.
Bleh, that's not right either though. The more I think about it, the more I want to be in a relationship. Someone or something just give me the strength to do this.
How old is this chick?
Jzero
Member
Just don't tell her you like ponies and you'll be fine.
I actually started my profile with the opposite, saying I chose the best photos of me and I expect you to do the same.
WascallyWabbit
Member
This made me laugh out loud
Red_taiyaki
Member
Nope. This is one of the worst things you can do. If you do meet them in real life and they ask you what you like to do in your free time and you tell them about how passionate you are about gaming/anime....they're going to find it a turn off that you had to HIDE such an important thing to you.
The better advice is this. It's okay to admit it, hell to admit that you like it. BUT it's also just as important that you build your life outside of your hobbies. Focus your profile on that but just mention anime/gaming in passing.
Just like mine: http://www.okcupid.com/rezznik
I mention both and am constantly in touch with three to four girls at all times. Hell, I consider it a letdown week if I'm only down to one girl I'm in touch with. So yes...be yourself. No matter how geeky/dorky you are
.In other news, I messaged someone who ignored me about 1.5 years ago and I'm now in conversation with her. Good stuff.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Okay, I rated you but here's what I SUGGEST.
Remove instances of being a "Typical broke college student haha." Trust me.
"cal" should be "call." Typo?
"(comes with being asian)" <-- remove that
"Truth be told I'm really shy, but when I get to know someone I'm not afraid to converse and whatnot. " <--remove that bolded part
Confused101
Member
I was in a similar situation as you. I'm 32 as well. I'm actually engaged, but that has little to do with my previous situation.
I was in a relationship for 7 years. Got out of it around 27. It simply ended. Nothing wrong with it, but it clearly wasn't going anywhere else, so we split. She was a friend when we started dating.
I went on a few dates after, most were train wrecks. I wasn't sure what I wanted. It sounds like you know you want to be in a relationship.
My advice is to keep it short on the phone. Don't go on rambling. Phone convos are tough with people you don't know because you aren't sure what their tone may be implying. It's all about tone on the phone. So I would simply call, make real light conversation, and set up a date. Once you see someone in person, you know right away if you have anything in common. You don't even have to say shit and you'll know. You'll either start feeling relaxed quickly, or realize this is going to be a long night. So, I wouldn't stress about the phone convo. If the first date goes well, then go out again.
WascallyWabbit
Member
ugh, i hate talking on the phone. Definitely a fan of OSHAN's advice.
I always feel like i'm cutting off someone because of the slight delay and the fact that you can't see them doesn't help that either
I always feel like i'm cutting off someone because of the slight delay and the fact that you can't see them doesn't help that either
Red_taiyaki
Member
Man up and do it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64
Spend 5 MINUTES MAX. In and out. Setup date. END.
....also, I hate the phone.
Funny enough this thread convinced me to make an account, with more and more of my friends getting into relationships and never wanting to go out as much nowadays. Can I get some feedback on my account?
Profile Link
Profile Link
Jzero
Member
Not bad but you look pissed in most of your pictures.
I do? I was going for a chilled out look, but it looks like I missed the mark hahaha.
Also, when I'm answering these match questions if I list the question as irrelevant is does it not count or something?
I don't think I answered any questions beyond the ones I had to. I think they're a waste of time.
Ohai. Glad I could help finish your wonderings.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
It's the point of the site.
Yeah but I think all that crap is a waste of time. Either you get along, or you don't. I can see some people finding it beneficial, but I never did.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
It knows what you're like and what you want in a partner because you tell it. The match % has generally always been right on to me. My 80% match dates definitely didn't go as smoothly as my 90%ers.
I usually went by "babe" and "not crazy." It was a hard combo to find.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Confused101
Member
I'm going to second this. It really doesn't matter.
So I called the girl last night after work. I had it all planned out because I had to go over it a thousand times in my head. Naturally. It was going to be a quick "how's it goin" blah, blah, blah, then ask her out for some coffee. We ended up talking for 45 minutes. The conversation wasn't forced and she certainly lived up to her claim of being easy to talk to. So I ended the call by asking her out and she's still down for it. We're going to iron out the details tonight because her teaching schedule has been a bit crazy since returning from spring break.
So I'm in. Yay! Now that I've gotten that over with, I feel less anxious about the whole situation. I'm actually quite excited to meet her in person. Here's hoping all goes well!
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