Jzero
Member
What do ratings do exactly? A couple of girls have rated me and i though it meant they were interested.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Rated you!
Afraid I can't help you much with the photos thing. I'll usually use whatever good pics I managed to get taken while I'm out with my friends cause I don't have a proper camera.
Your profile is good btw. You sound like a cool dude to hang out with.
Thanks man. I'm not too good at talking about myself so I wasn't sure if what I wrote down was good. I'll try to keep working on it.
no idea, I think opens you up to more matches or something?
Yeah, apparently the more 4/5-star ratings you get, the more high-rated matches it unlocks. Once you get a certain number of 4/5 stars you get a message from OKC telling you they've unlocked more profiles and will make you stand out or something, don't remember. Just FYI, 15 people have given me high ratings but I still haven't gotten that message (though I do get the impression that I see more matches). I assume you have to get tens of those to get it.
I should point out that I live in rural southwest VA so around here, we have to drive a long ways to get to fun, nicer places where you want to take a date to. In my case, that's a 45 min drive to get to all the nice restaurants, movie theaters, etc.
I also use it to weed out the welfare queens who are just looking for a guy to take care of them, etc. Of the 3 girls I did make the drive to go eat at a nice restaurants with, 1 had much older photos on the site and was a lot bigger than her pics. And 1 used camera angles to hide her weight.
This girl that I was asking about, is 1 hr 20 mins away, and while 1 hour is my limit, I'm making an exception for her. Seems all the girls who are closer to me, are looking for a man's man, who is conservative and religious. Whereas I'm a tech geek, more liberal and non-religious.
Is it a Russian dating scam as its called?
Guess so, the pictures "she" sent where small and roughly 100kb big and she ended the email with "your new girlfriend from Russia Natalya" and that she has a yahoo account lol
IMHO it's far from perfect. You want to show yourself while being active/doing something. But, and that might be just me, if you make a picture of yourself either use a timer or hold the phone/camera in a way that makes it invisible to the viewer.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I got it at 20 high ratings, IIRC.
Alright Gaf, help me out here. I've been on OKC for about three years, sent out about three hundred messages, and while I've gotten about a dozen first dates out of it, I've never gotten to date 2. Heck, only one of the girls I met up with in person was someone I even wanted to take out a second time. What am I doing wrong?
I don't send out that many messages; especially after so many dates that went poorly, I've become a bit picky. But I try to make them stand out. My current strategy is to ask for an in-person date on message three (that I send, so message five of the conversation). Looks like you guys go for phone numbers and text a lot? Might be worth a shot, but I'm not great at texting. When do you ask for a number? I provide mine once an in-person date is confirmed, and they usually reply in kind... And my current standard first date is just ice cream and a walk in a park/playgroundy area; maybe that's just too boring to make a connection over? Perhaps my profile could also use some jazzing up...
I dunno, maybe I just need to switch to a different site. I've been thinking about eHarmony; anyone had any luck over there?
I don't send out that many messages; especially after so many dates that went poorly, I've become a bit picky. But I try to make them stand out. My current strategy is to ask for an in-person date on message three (that I send, so message five of the conversation). Looks like you guys go for phone numbers and text a lot? Might be worth a shot, but I'm not great at texting. When do you ask for a number? I provide mine once an in-person date is confirmed, and they usually reply in kind... And my current standard first date is just ice cream and a walk in a park/playgroundy area; maybe that's just too boring to make a connection over? Perhaps my profile could also use some jazzing up...
I dunno, maybe I just need to switch to a different site. I've been thinking about eHarmony; anyone had any luck over there?
I like to go messages (3-8 each)-> ask for phone number (hey communication would be so much easier via phone!)-> text for a bit (2 days ish?) -> ask out via text/phone call.
AnathemicOne
Banned
Hey all.
So the meet-up went well. She brought a friend alongside her and I could tell she reaaaallly liked me IE constant arm-wrapping, holding hands, and other physical contact of sorts. If that doesn't spell attraction then I don't know. At first it caught me off-guard but I eventually played along and felt comfortable for the rest of the time spent together.
She was pretty chill to hang out with even though we have minor disagreements on some stuff (which I kept to myself) such as level of interest in news/events and liking towards piercing/tattoos (with me not preferring them).
Ended the day with a hug and atm just thinking back and deciding if I like her or not, Probably will get a better grasp after a few more meet-ups or even dates (IE 1-on-1 meetups without her friend). But yeah like I said, it went well and was worth the 20 min drive there.
So the meet-up went well. She brought a friend alongside her and I could tell she reaaaallly liked me IE constant arm-wrapping, holding hands, and other physical contact of sorts. If that doesn't spell attraction then I don't know. At first it caught me off-guard but I eventually played along and felt comfortable for the rest of the time spent together.
She was pretty chill to hang out with even though we have minor disagreements on some stuff (which I kept to myself) such as level of interest in news/events and liking towards piercing/tattoos (with me not preferring them).
Ended the day with a hug and atm just thinking back and deciding if I like her or not, Probably will get a better grasp after a few more meet-ups or even dates (IE 1-on-1 meetups without her friend). But yeah like I said, it went well and was worth the 20 min drive there.
Wooo awesome man! Glad to see something great came out of it. Definitely do some more mano-e-mano dates and get a feel for her in an alone setting. She probably brought a friend to deflect any potential "omg he's insane" things.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Awesome!
electricshake
Member
I guess it depends what sort of time scale you're on and how long the messages are. If you're only sending one every day or two then I'd say fewer is better. If you send half a dozen on the same day then I think it's easier to get away with more before asking her out. But when you're getting to 10+ each it's getting a bit much.
Don't text too much, especially before you've met. It's not so bad once you're seeing each other but otherwise use it to set up the date and maybe for a wee bit of banter (but don't go overboard).
Red_taiyaki
Member
I've been on the mutha of all cold streaks this week, but I have an active conversation going with one girl atm. Tried to arrange a meeting this week, but we were both busy with work.
Hopefully I'll meet her soon (she's a 94% "match btw)...
Hopefully I'll meet her soon (she's a 94% "match btw)...
Pulling for you bro!
WascallyWabbit
Member
How do you know someone put you on "hide"?
They disappear from your search results. the 98% Match is hard to miss, as she's usually at the top of the list when I sort by %.
Hide just mutually removes you from each other's search results, but you can still message/visit the profile via the "messags" link, but it's a pretty clear sign of no-interest Also for those that mentioned the "high rating = new results", that's not true. It will show you "better looking" people on your front-page "feed" (and possibly quick match and quiver), but that's just the SELECTION of those that changes. You can still see everyone if you go into the "matches" search thing. The website will just select better-looking people for the "feed", and additionally you will be shown to better-looking people on their feed.
They disappear from your search results. the 98% Match is hard to miss, as she's usually at the top of the list when I sort by %.
That really sucks dude.
I find it mildly amusing, because I get responses from the 60%-90% matches, but get hidden by the 98% match. Just shows match% itself doesn't mean much, I suppose.
Have a date lined up for monday, though.Red_taiyaki
Member
I find it mildly amusing, because I get responses from the 60%-90% matches, but get hidden by the 98% match. Just shows match% itself doesn't mean much, I suppose.
Gl with the date. But ya, the matches themselves are ONLY good for telling you who you'd get along with. Other than that. MEH.
I've gotten along better with an 80% than a 92 and a 95.
I find it mildly amusing, because I get responses from the 60%-90% matches, but get hidden by the 98% match. Just shows match% itself doesn't mean much, I suppose.
Match % doesn't mean a fuck, yeah. You have to go with what you know, and let personalities be your guide.
Red_taiyaki
Member
I normally like to go with the mentality that there's a plus/minus margin of about ten to fifteen percent for all three percentages on OKC.
electricshake
Member
electricshake
Member
More than a year!
There are just so few girls in my part of the country it seems, so no dates yet.. And I think I just suck at writing messages, I should stick to picking up girls at the bar.. Damn my small town where I already know everyone.
One girl that likes me lives 150km away from me and the other one is to mature for me.
My ex suddenly started to ignore me unless with short answers and my date for yesterday I had to cancel because I had an exam at the time she wanted to meet up..
And I failed the exam.
One girl that likes me lives 150km away from me and the other one is to mature for me.
My ex suddenly started to ignore me unless with short answers and my date for yesterday I had to cancel because I had an exam at the time she wanted to meet up..
And I failed the exam.
Welp back on it. Poopy part is there's really no one new this time. Last time I was gone for about a half a year and so there was a ton of new faces to chat up, but now it's a handful if that.
The girl I massively like just isn't into me, and had lead me to believe she wasn't even on OKC anymore for a long while now. I reopened mine today, and of course she's the first result with fresh photos and shit and had never even closed it down like I had mine.
I feel like a total sucker/moron, but that's my luck with chicks. I either really like them and they give 2 shits, or it's the opposite like my ex.
I am still talking to this girl, and I still have a vacation I'm going on with her and her daughter at the end of April, but I think at this point I'm just being a hopeless romantic about the whole thing. :/
The girl I massively like just isn't into me, and had lead me to believe she wasn't even on OKC anymore for a long while now. I reopened mine today, and of course she's the first result with fresh photos and shit and had never even closed it down like I had mine.
I feel like a total sucker/moron, but that's my luck with chicks. I either really like them and they give 2 shits, or it's the opposite like my ex.
I am still talking to this girl, and I still have a vacation I'm going on with her and her daughter at the end of April, but I think at this point I'm just being a hopeless romantic about the whole thing. :/
Freezie KO
Banned
100 messages later, I have a date tomorrow.
I should be thrilled. But now I'm at the realization that it's been a while, I'm nervous, and I actually hate the process of dating.
I should be thrilled. But now I'm at the realization that it's been a while, I'm nervous, and I actually hate the process of dating.
She probably does too, so you might find some comfort in that thought. She's just looking for that special someone that makes her stop dating and settle down, too. Most likely, at least.
Freezie KO
Banned
WascallyWabbit
Member
Damn I'm sorry to hear that. But maybe there's hope after all? I mean she wants you to go on this vacation with her and her daughter
I'm only throwing this out there because it works for me. I have about 6 women on there that I am actively talking to that are interested in me, and many more that have just dropped a message that I wasn't really getting a vibe from. Every single first message I got was about how funny I am.
Make your profile as funny as possible, sure it's good to get out there who you are and what you are looking for, but you gotta be dumb funny. I have some really stupid shit about how I like to take chicks shopping to Wal Mart and take them out to Burger King, even for my most private thing I'm willing to admit I told a story about how I shit my pants in a restaurant 10 years ago.
Make your profile as funny as possible, sure it's good to get out there who you are and what you are looking for, but you gotta be dumb funny. I have some really stupid shit about how I like to take chicks shopping to Wal Mart and take them out to Burger King, even for my most private thing I'm willing to admit I told a story about how I shit my pants in a restaurant 10 years ago.
electricshake
Member
Good advice. If you aren't hot, the easiest way to get a woman interested is to make her laugh. Good banter will take you far.
Red_taiyaki
Member
That awkward moment where you see one of your female friends irl on OKC JUST happened to me...lololol
canoli2006
Member
First date tonight. I've been chatting online and on the phone with this girl for about two weeks now and based on our conversations I have a really good feeling. Any first date tips and ideas? I was thinking dinner, bowling, and coffee.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Why don't you just do bowling first and then if you guys are having a good time, go for a drink?
canoli2006
Member
We could do that. Thanks.
Oh...oh no.
I just got a message from a guy whose profile has all the "this is my last shot at finding a lady amongst all the whores" and it has the words "nice guy" written all through his profile.
And then the message is all "I don't know how to flirt in this day and age, I'm an old timey type of guy into old fashioned dating and chivalry".
Oh... oh no. :|
At least he's not wearing a fedora...
I just got a message from a guy whose profile has all the "this is my last shot at finding a lady amongst all the whores" and it has the words "nice guy" written all through his profile.
And then the message is all "I don't know how to flirt in this day and age, I'm an old timey type of guy into old fashioned dating and chivalry".
Oh... oh no. :|
At least he's not wearing a fedora...
WascallyWabbit
Member
I bet he's on that nice guys of okcupid tumblr
POF actually, so is there a Nice Guys of POF?
ALSO, I forgot to mention, in his profile, after all the "women suck, etc" stuff, he says he's "looking for a nice fish to mount on his wall".
MOUNT ON HIS WALL.
I'm guessing he's trying to be witty, but it comes off more as more serial killer-y.
DUDE. So many feels for you right now. Sucks balls man. Get back on that horse, drop contacts with the women you don't want to keep up appearances with, and grind some more XP man.
Set phasers to ignore (on the guy)
On the plus side, probably meeting with the guy I met last week again on Monday.
Still, "not a relationship kind of guy", but whatever, I just want to see what happens.
Confidence, experience, acceptance of how you "have it" will come forth from this, I guarantee you.
I'm starting to feel okay with myself finally, so... I guess it will only help! Maybe. Haha. But even before meeting this guy, I was doing a bit better. Making progress in therapy, changing self-talk, etc.
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