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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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Z

zlatko

Banned
WascallyWabbit said:
Damn I'm sorry to hear that. But maybe there's hope after all? I mean she wants you to go on this vacation with her and her daughter
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Typing out the whole situation would be far too much, and trying to paraphrase it would leave too much room for misinterpretation.

At this point if she's on OKC everyday, replies to texts when she feels like it, doesn't want to prioritize to hang out with me or ask me to hang when we live 10 minutes away from each other, and literally has told me she doesn't have an idea on how she feels about me, then all I see this trip is she just needs an escort who's a nice guy. I happen to be that sucker fish. She's going to introduce me as just her friend, and that's it.

It sucks, because if you saw us interact together you'd swear we were a couple and I just don't see what about me isn't making her want to take a leap. I can't force it, and I can't keep being a sucker to keep feeding her attention anymore because at that point I'm just leading myself on.
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
Zlatko, it sounds like you need to cut off contact with this girl. Or at least, make yourself much less available, lest you fall all the way into the friend zone. Getting back and going on dates from OKC was a good step
 
A

Ashodin

Member
zlatko said:
Typing out the whole situation would be far too much, and trying to paraphrase it would leave too much room for misinterpretation.

At this point if she's on OKC everyday, replies to texts when she feels like it, doesn't want to prioritize to hang out with me or ask me to hang when we live 10 minutes away from each other, and literally has told me she doesn't have an idea on how she feels about me, then all I see this trip is she just needs an escort who's a nice guy. I happen to be that sucker fish. She's going to introduce me as just her friend, and that's it.

It sucks, because if you saw us interact together you'd swear we were a couple and I just don't see what about me isn't making her want to take a leap. I can't force it, and I can't keep being a sucker to keep feeding her attention anymore because at that point I'm just leading myself on.
Click to expand...

Dude. You're simping. You need to stop that shit ASAP.
 
Z

zlatko

Banned
WascallyWabbit said:
Zlatko, it sounds like you need to cut off contact with this girl. Or at least, make yourself much less available, lest you fall all the way into the friend zone. Getting back and going on dates from OKC was a good step
Click to expand...

Oh I'm already friend zoned. We kiss, hold hands, cuddle up and shit, but that's as far as it has gone. She's really making no effort towards me, and it's been extremely fucking hard on me to be dismissive since I don't really want to play games or not be myself. I know myself well enough and what I want out of life, to also know what I want in someone I want to date.

I refuse to ask her to hang out anymore. She can come at me for that. I'm not a d bag to not reply to her texting or calling me though. Not who I am.

Starting a few conversations with girls on the site already, so we'll see how it goes.

What's hard is everyone gave me advice starting about 2 weeks ago about this situation, and I have difficulty taking the advice since I can't directly detach myself to look at the situation I'm in rationally. If it was happening to a friend I'd know what I'd tell him, but the stupid part of my brain doesn't want to give up hope on her.
 
Z

zlatko

Banned
Ashodin said:
Dude. You're simping. You need to stop that shit ASAP.
Click to expand...

These are the things I need to hear honestly. GAF needs to go hard on me. I don't have my buddy I had for years around as of late to reality check me and tell me I'm being an idiot. He's in Europe without a phone for a few more months, and even when he was in the states I still live a few states away.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LuckySleven7

Here's my profile too GAF. Feel free to spread the love of plus ratings. :)
 
A

Ashodin

Member
zlatko said:
These are the things I need to hear honestly. GAF needs to go hard on me. I don't have my buddy I had for years around as of late to reality check me and tell me I'm being an idiot. He's in Europe without a phone for a few more months, and even when he was in the states I still live a few states away.

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LuckySleven7

Here's my profile too GAF. Feel free to spread the love of plus ratings. :)
Click to expand...

OK here's the deal if you want me to go ham on you.

You're being a absolute idiot by keeping a crush-on with this girl when you know there's better (and have grinded it out to find better)

You need to stop sucking up to her when she's not even taking the time to make you important. Drop that shit cold, and let her deal. She's using you for comfort.

You need to take better stock in your personal attachments. Even if she "fits" a part of you, she doesn't "fit" all of you. Realize that, and let her wallow in her own problems (which is better for her).
 
R

Red_taiyaki

Member
Jzero said:
I have a 99% match with a stripper. She's pretty cute too.
Click to expand...

Remember to ask her about 'dem cheeks :).

But ya, after my fun cold spell for a week I find a cute girl on OKC who randomly brings up Shinkai (anime director), strawberry cake and likes Pokemon.........this should be interesting...
 
B

batbeg

Member
I changed my profile picture to one highlighting my only tattoo. I've had 6 visitors in the 10ish minutes since doing that, which is 6 more than I had all week...

I need more tattoos.
 
D

dralla

Member
So I have no easter plans for tomorrow, so I'm meeting someone from OKC instead!

And like I expected, the awesome girl I was texting with, and agreed to meet up with me, stopped responding. I'm not even upset just because I knew it was gonna happen, even though she seemed into me and vice versa, I know she must be getting bombarded with messages and must be in contact with quite a few dudes. sucks, but what can ya do
 
N

Nappuccino

Member
So I decided to give Okcupid another shot.

Which left me at a bit of a standstill for the first message. How much is usually prudent? Just a "hey, how's it going. I think (x thing about your profile) is neat. (question about x thing)"?

Like most things in life, I'm probably over thinking it, but anything more than that just seems forced.
 
L

Leeness

Member
Hnnnng boy didn't reply to text today, will it be annoying if I text tomorrow to confirm plans for Monday?

DO I PANIC???

Haha. He did want to see me again, so... :/
 
F

Freezie KO

Banned
My OK Cupid date actually went well today. I was pleasantly surprised. If this works out, it may just be worth the 120 unanswered messages.
 
S

Slizeezyc

Member
Leeness said:
Hnnnng boy didn't reply to text today, will it be annoying if I text tomorrow to confirm plans for Monday?

DO I PANIC???

Haha. He did want to see me again, so... :/
Click to expand...

If he said he was coming, I wouldn't worry. I don't think most guys will take it as being needy if you do re-confirm, but either way, if you do it I would slide it in while saying something else as well in the text.
 
L

Leeness

Member
Slizeezyc said:
If he said he was coming, I wouldn't worry. I don't think most guys will take it as being needy if you do re-confirm, but either way, if you do it I would slide it in while saying something else as well in the text.
Click to expand...

Well we haven't made solid plans yet, just "Monday sounds like it would work".
 
L

Leeness

Member
Smiley90 said:
Just give him a call tomorrow to confirm and set time&date? probably better than text if you for sure wanna reach him
Click to expand...

Maybe...

I dunno, just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a psycho by texting, not getting a reply, then texting the next day. I don't know how this works :(
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
Leeness said:
Maybe...

I dunno, just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a psycho by texting, not getting a reply, then texting the next day. I don't know how this works :(
Click to expand...

Naw, esp if you haven't set time&date yet it's fine. If you had already set it and just wanted to be all "ARE WE STILL ON", then... maybe. but if you haven't, then no. Or if you wanna play games, then wait for him to call, but as a guy, I hate playing games. :p
 
F

Freezie KO

Banned
Leeness said:
Maybe...

I dunno, just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a psycho by texting, not getting a reply, then texting the next day. I don't know how this works :(
Click to expand...

I'd like it if I missed a text and the woman followed up the next day. But I hate the game-playing, and I'm not sure if he's playing games or honestly missed the text. I don't think you're being psycho though if you text the day before a date when exact plans haven't been nailed down.
 
L

Leeness

Member
He's been pretty upfront and not game playey so far, and I don't want to either.

Okay if you guys say I won't look crazy, I'll believe you. I hope it goes well :)

Edit: Haha I have a feeling I won't be hearing from him again. Sucks cause we had so much in common and a great first date but oh well.
 
D

dralla

Member
got back from my Easter meet-up. I feel pretty confident in that I don't want to pursue a relationship with this girl. Now, do you guys usually do the ignore thing or tell her that you're not interested?
 
W

WriterGK

Member
dralla said:
got back from my Easter meet-up. I feel pretty confident in that I don't want to pursue a relationship with this girl. Now, do you guys usually do the ignore thing or tell her that you're not interested?
Click to expand...

I haven't had that situation yet. But I would definitely tell her. That's what most girls tell me when I fall for them and they dont for me.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
dralla said:
got back from my Easter meet-up. I feel pretty confident in that I don't want to pursue a relationship with this girl. Now, do you guys usually do the ignore thing or tell her that you're not interested?
Click to expand...

Well, imagine how you'd want to be treated if she wasn't interested? There's your answer.

I have a date tonight and I'm crazy confused about it. The girl seems very... unusual, as in she actually made the plans for the date and she called me, and she seems very straightforward. I'm not sure whether to be intimidated or excited. I think it's both.
 
D

dralla

Member
Yea, I'm going to. I just got more of a friend vibe from her, that's basically what I'm gonna say. I honestly felt like I was hanging out with my mom some at certain parts, aaaand that's never a good sign lol
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
dralla said:
Yea, I'm going to. I just got more of a friend vibe from her, that's basically what I'm gonna say. I honestly felt like I was hanging out with my mom some at certain parts, aaaand that's never a good sign lol
Click to expand...

Then just tell her you'd rather be friends, then it's up to her to decide whether she can/wants to :p
 
K

Kilrogg

paid requisite penance
What Smiley90 said.


So yeah, I blew it with a girl I messaged. And I mean blew it: she answered the message I sent her and told me I appeared very nice and intelligent but wasn't interested because the message I sent was distasteful. Worst thing is: she's actually right.

It was nothing sexual or creepy or 'nice guy'-type passive-aggressive frustration, but the way I worded my initial message is just mindblowingbly dumb and made me come off as an asshole. No, I'm not posting it, but let's just say I thought I was making a inquiry out of curiosity (and to spark conversation) regarding something she said on her profile, and she thought I was shaming her for something. She even said "please don't respond, but best of luck nonetheless".

If she took the time to reply several days after I wrote to her and was so courteous even though I offended her, that probably means I totally had a shot. Oh well, I responded anyway to apologize, I wasn't gonna let that hang, but I doubt she'll even read my reply.
 
K

Kilrogg

paid requisite penance
dralla said:
You can't post that then NOT post the message, CMON SON
Click to expand...

Let's do this: she replied to my message 3 days later; if she doesn't answer my apology by Wednesday, I'll post it, and be exposed to ridicule. I feel so stupid about the whole thing that I can't handle the shame well right now. And send me a PM if I somehow forget.

Deal?
 
K

Kilrogg

paid requisite penance
It's great to witness Leeness becoming more and more self-confident. Good for you. I hope everything goes well with the guy.

On another topic, if you switch off Visitors, can people still see when you visited them?
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
Kilrogg said:
It's great to witness Leeness becoming more and more self-confident. Good for you. I hope everything goes well with the guy.

On another topic, if you switch off Visitors, can people still see when you visited them?
Click to expand...

No.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
Jzero said:
I thought you had to pay for that.
Click to expand...

No, you can turn visitors off for free. You don't show up on other people's visitors anymore, but nobody will show up on your visitor list anymore either. What you pay for is the "better" half of that: You don't show up on other people's visitors anymore, but you still see who's visited you.
 
W

Wingfan19

Unconfirmed Member
I got two-faced yesterday by a girl I met on POF. She had one picture up (a shoulder and head shot straight on), listed her body type as "athletic", so I figured I was alright. When I met her I actually didn't think it was the same person and didn't even notice her acknowledging me. I've never had that happen before. She was wearing no makeup (which I don't really care about, but wow what a difference it made between her pic and real life face) and she was far from an athletic body type. I felt kinda bad knowing right then and there I was not going to pursue this, but continued on with our date anyways. She was cool to talk to, but we didn't have much in common. Live and learn I guess.
 
C

Cow Mengde

Banned
I think I realize why I'm not having much luck here. My pictures are horrible. I'm not even talking about being "ugly" but more like I'm un-photogenic. I'm looking at the picture and even I thought I'm much better looking than the photos I have. Does anyone have any good tips on taking good photos? Unlike a lot of people, I actually know how to use the self timer on my camera so I'm not even using cell phone pics. Just that pictures of me never come out right. Then there are times when I'm not smiling and look confrontational.
 
K

Kilrogg

paid requisite penance
Cow Mengde said:
I think I realize why I'm not having much luck here. My pictures are horrible. I'm not even talking about being "ugly" but more like I'm un-photogenic. I'm looking at the picture and even I thought I'm much better looking than the photos I have. Does anyone have any good tips on taking good photos? Unlike a lot of people, I actually know how to use the self timer on my camera so I'm not even using cell phone pics. Just that pictures of me never come out right. Then there are times when I'm not smiling and look confrontational.
Click to expand...

Enough with the complaints already and show us your profile! You said like 2 weeks ago that you had reworked it, so show us!
 
L

Liu Kang Baking A Pie

Member
Yeah, you need clearer pictures of your face.

Also, I sort of like what you're trying with your profile, but some of it is creepy as fuck. Like the way you start talking about tasting you within the opening is weird.
 
E

etrain911

Member
Cow Mengde said:
I think I realize why I'm not having much luck here. My pictures are horrible. I'm not even talking about being "ugly" but more like I'm un-photogenic. I'm looking at the picture and even I thought I'm much better looking than the photos I have. Does anyone have any good tips on taking good photos? Unlike a lot of people, I actually know how to use the self timer on my camera so I'm not even using cell phone pics. Just that pictures of me never come out right. Then there are times when I'm not smiling and look confrontational.
Click to expand...

If you can, have a friend take the photo. It helps in a few ways, you'll be more at ease in the picture because a friend will be there (presumably making conversation with you) which will result in your smiles looking marginally less forced. Also, you'll have a second opinion on any of the other pictures you take, and if you two joke a lot with each other, he can probably coax a real smile or laugh out of you rather than a posed one. You could even make a day out of it and go to some interesting places and take them. It helps if you have pictures where you're out and about because it makes the pictures seem a bit more interesting (at least in my opinion).
 
C

Cow Mengde

Banned
Liu Kang Baking A Pie said:
Yeah, you need clearer pictures of your face.

Also, I sort of like what you're trying with your profile, but some of it is creepy as fuck. Like the way you start talking about tasting you within the opening is weird.
Click to expand...

I was trying to sound like a bag of chips or some snack, not actually "tasting me" per-say. That is a good tip, any idea to fix it? I'm just trying to make it sound like you're reading the nutritional value on a bag of snacks.

What else comes off as creepy? I stole the eggs line from someone here.
 
D

dralla

Member
Wingfan19 said:
I got two-faced yesterday by a girl I met on POF. She had one picture up (a shoulder and head shot straight on), listed her body type as "athletic", so I figured I was alright. When I met her I actually didn't think it was the same person and didn't even notice her acknowledging me. I've never had that happen before. She was wearing no makeup (which I don't really care about, but wow what a difference it made between her pic and real life face) and she was far from an athletic body type. I felt kinda bad knowing right then and there I was not going to pursue this, but continued on with our date anyways. She was cool to talk to, but we didn't have much in common. Live and learn I guess.
Click to expand...

This has happened to me multiple times. I keep giving people the benefit of the doubt though, I've got a feeling it'll happen again though, just part of the online dating thing I guess.

Cow Mengde said:
I think I realize why I'm not having much luck here. My pictures are horrible. I'm not even talking about being "ugly" but more like I'm un-photogenic. I'm looking at the picture and even I thought I'm much better looking than the photos I have. Does anyone have any good tips on taking good photos? Unlike a lot of people, I actually know how to use the self timer on my camera so I'm not even using cell phone pics. Just that pictures of me never come out right. Then there are times when I'm not smiling and look confrontational.
Click to expand...
This happens to me. I'm likely the least photogenic person ever, I always look weird/creepy/whatever. I hate taking pictures for various reasons and it shows. You just gotta keep trying till you get one good one of your face, use it as your main pic. It took me a while to get a good one. I also managed to get lucky with a..respectable pic of me and another person so not all my pics are by myself.
 
C

Cow Mengde

Banned
dralla said:
This happens to me. I'm likely the least photogenic person ever, I always look weird/creepy/whatever. I hate taking pictures for various reasons and it shows. You just gotta keep trying till you get one good one of your face, use it as your main pic. It took me a while to get a good one. I also managed to get lucky with a..respectable pic of me and another person so not all my pics are by myself.
Click to expand...

I know exactly how to feel man. I just hate taking pictures for some reason.
 
L

Leeness

Member
Jzero

Jzero

Member
I also found this girl that's asking for free Amazon stuff
KuGsj.gif


I also noticed that the 85% of the girls are bisexual.
 
S

Samara

Member
I liked this guy's method.

-We match though tell me more about this cup on the floor...

-oh geez...I was in charge of cleaning up after the party, but then they were taking pictures. Had to kick my leg up

-Oh you, kicking legs up, putting those poor little cups out of frame. Though to be serious, you're cute I wasn't that interested in the cup's ill-fated disposal, just wanted to say hi. Are you originally from XXXXXXl?

-yes I am. And thank you :)

-So I'm guessing you help out at one of the Community Centers or high schools, that's cool. I used to tutor a few years at one center. Hey, this may seem a little old fashioned, I like technology and all but let's trade numbers and if we don't creep each other out, we'll meet up for coffee or desserts or something.

-alright. you can text me at 8675309

-Cool, just sent you a message, let's continue there
 
C

Cow Mengde

Banned
BTW, I just noticed I had 17 ratings. I could use 3 more ratings and I would gladly return the favor if I haven't rated you. Link to profile is towards the bottom of the previous page.
 
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