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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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dralla

Member
Started talking to a girl yesterday, just asked if she wants to meet up tonight after work and she said yes, success! I love not wasting time, get right to it and see if there's any attraction/chemistry.

on a side note, I found this profile on POF

I'm not trying to rush into relationship or anything I'd like to meet some new friends.Everybody feel free to talk to me but I'd love some rich friends and people who love to spend money.People with money should hit me up and get to know me.Keep your opinions to yourself dont message me stupid sh*tbecause you don't know anything about me.Dont message me "Hi""hey""whatsup" short boring stuff like that wont get a reply.I'm usually really nice so dont hesitate to hit me up:)I'm not here for hookups so keep your****pics and stuff like that to yourself.Dont be a perv thanks.

haha, I'm definitely gonna message her later and see how it goes, I think I'm gonna talk about how much of a baller I am

fuuuck, girl cancelled, said she 'forgot' she had plans already. The only reason I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt is because of how quick it all played out. A couple messages yesterday, started texting this afternoon, asked her out almost immediately. So yea, maybe I'm being naive, we're gonna re-schedule for next week some time
 

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
All right guys I've updated my pictures and my profile a bit but critique me. I've gotten 118 views and no messages which means the content on my profile must suck:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist

As a guy, don't expect to get messages. Make sure to send those that HAVE visited your profile and you think are interesting a message though. If they've visited your profile, they're much more likely to respond. They probably won't send you a message by themselves, even if they're interested though. Such is life.
 

Jhoan

Member
As a guy, don't expect to get messages. Make sure to send those that HAVE visited your profile and you think are interesting a message though. If they've visited your profile, they're much more likely to respond. They probably won't send you a message by themselves, even if they're interested though. Such is life.

I haven't really been focusing on online dating since I've been busy with classes and meeting plenty women at school. So right now this isn't really a priority. That said, I do agree that it's typically up to the guy to make the first move. Unless of course you're my brother who has one picture, a bare bones profile, and manages to get women to message him instead all the time (because he's good looking like me).

Thanks for the rating Jzero. I've been lurking in this thread and the Dating thread a lot. Reading all your ups and downs stories has been good.

If any body has been checking the Dating thread, I have a date on Monday but it's with a friend of a friend that introduced me to her and put in a good word for me. I'm going in with low expectations and the intention of having a good time. It should be fun.
 
All right guys I've updated my pictures and my profile a bit but critique me. I've gotten 118 views and no messages which means the content on my profile must suck:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist


Profile looks fine to me, like someone else said women generally expect the guys to send them a message. They feel that if they visit your profile it should be enough of an indication for you to say hello.

Just rated you :)
 

Decado

Member
All right guys I've updated my pictures and my profile a bit but critique me. I've gotten 118 views and no messages which means the content on my profile must suck:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist

A bit of humour wouldn't hurt. Perhaps omit the gamer stuff.

Also, remove two photos: the one with captain america and the one with you in the dealership. Preferably add one with you doing an activity with friends or just hangin' with friends.

And as others have said, you have to do most of the messaging.
 

Jhoan

Member
Profile looks fine to me, like someone else said women generally expect the guys to send them a message. They feel that if they visit your profile it should be enough of an indication for you to say hello.

Just rated you :)
Thanks.
A bit of humour wouldn't hurt. Perhaps omit the gamer stuff.

Also, remove two photos: the one with captain america and the one with you in the dealership. Preferably add one with you doing an activity with friends or just hangin' with friends.

And as others have said, you have to do most of the messaging.

I dunno. Some people in this thread have mentioned that the gamer stuff is part of who one is, not necessarily an indicator of the stereotypes that are associated with gamers or their life style so there have been disagreements. I'm not saying I disagree, but I'm going to play devil's advocate for a second.

For example, I have the same exact alert tone that dralla mentioned that he and one of his dates had in one of his previous posts. But that's a subtle thing that not too many people pick up on.

I understand what you're saying though and I agree. It's nice to come off as a cool guy who also happens to be an avid gamer instead of the other way around.

I deleted the Auto Show picture upon your suggestion since I don't own a car (I take the subway like any New Yorker) . I don't have many pictures of me with friends and if I do, it's typically in a group picture with multiple people. I'll dig through my tagged Facebook photos and see what I can find. I'll definitely try adding humor to it as well so thanks.

I see GAF members have been visiting my profile left and right. Thanks again.
 
So i was just talking to this girl who says she got 150 messages the first day she joined. Shit's cray.

Seriously online dating isn't very convenient. If you put half the time in the real world that it takes you to find something on this site you'd be twice as successful.

It's just facebook for strangers that is alluring because of the remote chance for sex. The very existence of someone's profile is proof that they are looking for love, which somehow in my mind makes them more accessible and exciting. But the reality is that EVERYONE practically is looking for this, you should just make that assumption about every person you see IRL. I think more often than not you'd be right.

And also approaching someone in a real life situation is so much more powerful than a message on this site, ESPECIALLY when the girls get hundreds of them a day. It makes me feel like a bum asking for spare change on a busy street. "coffee? anyone want to get some coffee? I'm super interesting!!"

I do appreciate that there is a lot of potential with this, and that things like OKC are steps in a larger process which could lead to something revolutionary
 

Gvaz

Banned
I think i'm gonna trim my profile down to just really basic info because having a bunch of info seems to do nothing for me.
 

Jhoan

Member
I've updated my profile and injected more humor into it/made it more meaty. In that time a chick with a picture and a chick without a picture have visited my profile. I also deleted my Comic Con picture until I find another picture I can substitute it for. Take a look and see what needs fixing:


http://www.okcupid.com/heightsartist
 
I think I'm with crocmother on this one.

It's seems too much of a hassle and not much return. I have a lot more success in real life; kind of hard to convey my personality over the nets.

I think I'm gonna knock mine down tomorrow.
 
Greetings all,

I too, have an OKC account and i'm looking for some pointers on how to grab more visitors and perk up my profile. I've gotten a couple of messages/numbers from some ladies, but have never materialized into meet-ups.

http://www.okcupid.com/MrBK426

Thanks guys/gals


I like your profile, it's lighthearted and quite funny. I also don't see anything wrong with your pictures. Perhaps you just haven't met the right girl on there yet, I'd say keep trying :).

Rated you as well. Hope it helps!

--

Just updated my own profile with some new pictures. I still have the slightly blurry image as my profile picture, since it's alright when it's as small as that. Then people can look at the rest when they access my profile. What do you guys think?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/dutchguyjack
 

nOoblet16

Member
So I found out and visited the profile of a girl I already know (I've met her like twice till date). Doubt she even remembers my name but she will surely recognise my face. From what I remember she's nice and funny. Should I just send her a text nonetheless stating well this is awkward? lol
 

Ashhong

Member
So I found out and visited the profile of a girl I already know (I've met her like twice till date). Doubt she even remembers my name but she will surely recognise my face. From what I remember she's nice and funny. Should I just send her a text nonetheless stating well this is awkward? lol

Is she someone you want to date? And you have her number already? Why not just ask her out on a date instead?
 

nOoblet16

Member
Is she someone you want to date? And you have her number already? Why not just ask her out on a date instead?
Yea I wouldn't say no to her.
And nope don't have her number, I've only met her twice...once as a part of a group/society outing and then the second time about a year and half later at a ball.
 

Ashhong

Member
Oh you said text so I assumed you had her number. I wouldn't mention anything about awkwardness but send her a normal message, mentioning how u met her and ask her to dinner. Has she visited your profile?
 

JaskoX1

Banned
Date last night was disastrous. I wanted to get murdered it was so bad (Not killing myself because she would read about it in the newspaper the next day and have guilt.)

10 minutes in and I already asked her "Have you heard about the new bird flu strain?" twice.

My profile: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/pureoddjob
(Say hi to me, GAF)

Should I set up a video dating profile?
 

Unbounded

Member
I think I'm with crocmother on this one.

It's seems too much of a hassle and not much return. I have a lot more success in real life; kind of hard to convey my personality over the nets.

I think I'm gonna knock mine down tomorrow.

Pretty much this. Had one date after a terribly disproportionate amount of effort, and it was pretty bad. Not to mention all of these profiles seem to read the same.

In real life it's WAY easier. Sure, you don't know what they're like, you don't know whether or not they're single, but damn is it much easier to have them get to know you, and it's much harder for them to ignore you.
 

dralla

Member
Date last night was disastrous. I wanted to get murdered it was so bad (Not killing myself because she would read about it in the newspaper the next day and have guilt.)

10 minutes in and I already asked her "Have you heard about the new bird flu strain?" twice.

My profile: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/pureoddjob
(Say hi to me, GAF)

Should I set up a video dating profile?

dude what? Is the bird flu thing an inside joke or something lol Ask questions about her, girls like to talk about themselves and it shows you're interested.

and wtfuuuuck, this girl visits my profile and I really wanna message her, but her box is full, shit is frustrating lol :(
 

Slayer-33

Liverpool-2
Date last night was disastrous. I wanted to get murdered it was so bad (Not killing myself because she would read about it in the newspaper the next day and have guilt.)

10 minutes in and I already asked her "Have you heard about the new bird flu strain?" twice.

My profile: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/pureoddjob
(Say hi to me, GAF)

Should I set up a video dating profile?

hahahah dem attraction nerves, control yourself man lol.
 
I like your profile, it's lighthearted and quite funny. I also don't see anything wrong with your pictures. Perhaps you just haven't met the right girl on there yet, I'd say keep trying :).

Rated you as well. Hope it helps!

--

Just updated my own profile with some new pictures. I still have the slightly blurry image as my profile picture, since it's alright when it's as small as that. Then people can look at the rest when they access my profile. What do you guys think?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/dutchguyjack

Thanks a lot!

I rated your profile as well :)
 

Ashodin

Member
dude what? Is the bird flu thing an inside joke or something lol Ask questions about her, girls like to talk about themselves and it shows you're interested.

and wtfuuuuck, this girl visits my profile and I really wanna message her, but her box is full, shit is frustrating lol :(

Dude that shit always made me so mad when I was looking still.
 

Pastry

Banned
Well ended it with a girl from OKC that I had been dating for around a month and a half. She was cool but small things about her personality were starting to annoy me and my friends informed me they didn't like her haha. So I figured it was time to cut my losses and move on. On a positive note that was the first girl I've dated from OKC and she was good looking too so I'm confident I can meet someone else on there.
 

Ashodin

Member
Well ended it with a girl from OKC that I had been dating for around a month and a half. She was cool but small things about her personality were starting to annoy me and my friends informed me they didn't like her haha. So I figured it was time to cut my losses and move on. On a positive note that was the first girl I've dated from OKC and she was good looking too so I'm confident I can meet someone else on there.

I'm glad your confidence is rising. Keep it up!
 

Venturin

Banned
Here's my experience so far, perhaps this may help some of you;

I really took a lot of time to write my profile, and I re-read and tweak it often. Emphasis on the positive and I didn't waste time on anything negative. There are no grammar or spelling errors. I'm probably older than most of the NEOGAF readers (50) so I wrote to my target audience.

I used my DSLR and took a LOT of pictures with good lighting and posted the best ones. My pics are mostly outdoors, from last Summer and they're really good. I live a very active lifestyle and my photos show that. Nothing that is me showing off though. No pics of my car, or showing my hairy chest... Just me looking as good as I can look, lol.

I have much more luck on POF than OKCupid. And I have met lots of women, several who wanted to pursue a relationship, but I wasn't feeling it so graciously thanked them. About a month ago a really beautiful woman contacted me, and we met for a drink the following week. She is amazing and perfect. I am totally digging this girl. We've gotten together 3 times so far and it's looking like it's a mutual thing. We're talking about vacations and meeting the parents and all. Last night I went to her house and it was as if I was in a perfect romance movie. It was absolute perfection. We laughed, we talked, we drank, we kissed.. The entire effort of the online dating was made worth it with just last night.

I would do it all again to have that night all over again, and with her it is very likely that another of those nights are going to happen soon.

So, don't give up. Take dozens of photos and post the very best of them. Make your profile well written. Know your target audience and play to your strengths. Emphasize what you do that is fun, and what your ideas of what love and a relationship are.

Good luck to us all

-V-
 

LegendX48

Member
Haven't been paying much attention to my profile on Ok cupid but I noticed someone that had visited my profile before had checked it out again, wondering if I should send her a message or something.
 

Jzero

Member
Haven't been paying much attention to my profile on Ok cupid but I noticed someone that had visited my profile before had checked it out again, wondering if I should send her a message or something.

If you want. I accidentally check people's profiles multiple times if i don't remember checking it before.
 
That reminds me, does the pizza or sushi thing still get used? I don't have any success with that. I tend to have more success with slightly lengthier messages, but those are a pain to write.

Edit - Also, I might have hooked a bad fish. Kind of weary, and I'm hoping its just my pessimism kicking in.
 

Pastry

Banned
Haha so I reactivated my POF profile. I login just now to see that I have a message and... it's one of my friends that I didn't know was on POF making fun of me for listing myself as non-smoker. Guess I know more people than I thought using this...
 

TxdoHawk

Member
Sup guys! Just checking back in to see how its all going. Any other success stories lately?

Define "success".

- Hit it off real well with this one girl recently out of a 6-year relationship. Took her out to dinner and back to my place a few times. Found out her ex was going through school, unemployed and making her pay for everything while they were dating. She was shocked at the prospect of having dinner paid for, felt genuinely bad for her.

She eventually decided to get back together with him, despite her entire social circle telling her it was a horrible idea. I may still message her in a couple of weeks to see how she's doing, because she didn't sound too sure about her decision. (Also, she was a lot of fun. Not in that way. Well, not just in that way.)

- Another woman (who I met on meetme@hotornot years ago) wants to come over and spend the night. This is a bizarre one: Originally, her boyfriend cheated on her, dumped her, then forced her to move out of the apartment they were in. We started dating after this. Just when it was getting good, her slimeball ex decided to pull a fast one, grovels to her about taking him back, and proposes with an engagement ring. She accepts and dumps me.

Fast forward to last week. I text her on a whim after seeing her update her Facebook, and we get to talking. Find out that he has zero plans as far as when he's actually going to marry her. They still live apart. And the kicker...they haven't been having sex. At all. He claims she's beautiful and loves her, but can't get it going in the sack. She's had him tested for a variety of things, low testosterone etc. but doctors can't find anything. She has no clue what's going on.

I'm not normally the type to relationship-wreck...but this dude pulled a fast one to steal her away from me, and seems to have no intentions of actually marrying her anytime soon. So, fair's fair. (Also, this guy's crazy if she's telling the truth and he can't get it up for her. She's a former model.)
 
Define "success".

- Hit it off real well with this one girl recently out of a 6-year relationship. Took her out to dinner and back to my place a few times. Found out her ex was going through school, unemployed and making her pay for everything while they were dating. She was shocked at the prospect of having dinner paid for, felt genuinely bad for her.

She eventually decided to get back together with him, despite her entire social circle telling her it was a horrible idea. I may still message her in a couple of weeks to see how she's doing, because she didn't sound too sure about her decision. (Also, she was a lot of fun. Not in that way. Well, not just in that way.)

- Another woman (who I met on meetme@hotornot years ago) wants to come over and spend the night. This is a bizarre one: Originally, her boyfriend cheated on her, dumped her, then forced her to move out of the apartment they were in. We started dating after this. Just when it was getting good, her slimeball ex decided to pull a fast one, grovels to her about taking him back, and proposes with an engagement ring. She accepts and dumps me.

Fast forward to last week. I text her on a whim after seeing her update her Facebook, and we get to talking. Find out that he has zero plans as far as when he's actually going to marry her. They still live apart. And the kicker...they haven't been having sex. At all. He claims she's beautiful and loves her, but can't get it going in the sack. She's had him tested for a variety of things, low testosterone etc. but doctors can't find anything. She has no clue what's going on.

I'm not normally the type to relationship-wreck...but this dude pulled a fast one to steal her away from me, and seems to have no intentions of actually marrying her anytime soon. So, fair's fair. (Also, this guy's crazy if she's telling the truth and he can't get it up for her. She's a former model.)

Man these guys are freaking losers, I hope it works out for you, mate
 
So I went on a second date and I can say with confidence that it was worse than the first. Mind you, the first date wasn't so bad at all. However, this time, I felt like I was forcing conversation a lot more. After the date I went over things in my head and I realized that I was the only one asking questions. After two dates spanning a couple hours each, she hadn't asked me a single question. Is that weird? I think it's weird. The point of a date is to get to know the other person right? So where is the curiosity? It's weird because this is something someone would do if they're not interested. It seems like she is, but it's very hard to tell. I dunno.

Anyway, I'm now seriously debating breaking this one off. She's really nice, really smart, and quite cute, but we have nothing to talk about. It's apparent we have no common interests. Ah well. It's actually a pretty big bummer because she was one of only two people that would actually email me back regularly.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
 

Ashodin

Member
Define "success".

- Hit it off real well with this one girl recently out of a 6-year relationship. Took her out to dinner and back to my place a few times. Found out her ex was going through school, unemployed and making her pay for everything while they were dating. She was shocked at the prospect of having dinner paid for, felt genuinely bad for her.

She eventually decided to get back together with him, despite her entire social circle telling her it was a horrible idea. I may still message her in a couple of weeks to see how she's doing, because she didn't sound too sure about her decision. (Also, she was a lot of fun. Not in that way. Well, not just in that way.)

- Another woman (who I met on meetme@hotornot years ago) wants to come over and spend the night. This is a bizarre one: Originally, her boyfriend cheated on her, dumped her, then forced her to move out of the apartment they were in. We started dating after this. Just when it was getting good, her slimeball ex decided to pull a fast one, grovels to her about taking him back, and proposes with an engagement ring. She accepts and dumps me.

Fast forward to last week. I text her on a whim after seeing her update her Facebook, and we get to talking. Find out that he has zero plans as far as when he's actually going to marry her. They still live apart. And the kicker...they haven't been having sex. At all. He claims she's beautiful and loves her, but can't get it going in the sack. She's had him tested for a variety of things, low testosterone etc. but doctors can't find anything. She has no clue what's going on.

I'm not normally the type to relationship-wreck...but this dude pulled a fast one to steal her away from me, and seems to have no intentions of actually marrying her anytime soon. So, fair's fair. (Also, this guy's crazy if she's telling the truth and he can't get it up for her. She's a former model.)

Dude you done got stolen on twice man. The guy can't get it up for her because he's still boning someone else. Snatch that former model and claim your rightful prize (an awesome relationship waiting to happen). Don't let douchebags stop you!
 

Raynes

Member
Btw guys this is my profile (yea I'm using the same picture as my GAF avatar, because it's the most recent):
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/skydiveninja

Please critique on it.

Take the part about you being reserved about online dating out. It's essentially meaningless since you're now on there now, it just tells us you have little confidence in what you do.
Also, the part about your hobbies and personality goes in your self-summary. Also the "But...I am one persistent bastard" reads really awkwardly. Finally, the bloom effect on your main picture is annoying to look at, use a clearer picture.
 

~Kinggi~

Banned
What the hell is going on, all of a sudden i get 6 visits from hot girls today. They must have put my profile somewhere people can see. I dont do jack shit with this thing cause its been so worthless the last few months. I get like a visit every month usually.
 
What the hell is going on, all of a sudden i get 6 visits from hot girls today. They must have put my profile somewhere people can see. I dont do jack shit with this thing cause its been so worthless the last few months. I get like a visit every month usually.

I know for a fact that an interesting profile at least gets you some views. I've been getting views from consistently when I updated my profile to be more colorful.
 

~Kinggi~

Banned
I know for a fact that an interesting profile at least gets you some views. I've been getting views from consistently when I updated my profile to be more colorful.

I dont understand how an interesting profile gets views when its the picture that gets people to click on it. Additionally im surprised cause i havent updated it in 2 months or so.
 

vatstep

This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I dont understand how an interesting profile gets views when its the picture that gets people to click on it. Additionally im surprised cause i havent updated it in 2 months or so.
You're right, it doesn't. But when you answer questions, update your profile, etc. you'll appear in the activity feed, which will usually net you a good amount of views (especially if you're saying something interesting).
 

Ashodin

Member
You're right, it doesn't. But when you answer questions, update your profile, etc. you'll appear in the activity feed, which will usually net you a good amount of views (especially if you're saying something interesting).

Yep this. Doing anything in okcupid puts you back in the spotlight. You should thank them for that :p
 
I dont understand how an interesting profile gets views when its the picture that gets people to click on it. Additionally im surprised cause i havent updated it in 2 months or so.

Well, whatever the hell it is I'm doing, it's getting me views. That's all I know.
 
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