Red_taiyaki
Member
Congrats man! Way to keep up your spirits
. Just like job interviewing, you're not going to hit it off with every single person that you meet on the website. Just stay persistent and you'll find someone soon enough.....
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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Congrats man! Way to keep up your spirits
. Just like job interviewing, you're not going to hit it off with every single person that you meet on the website. Just stay persistent and you'll find someone soon enough.....
Fellow GAF dudes (and women) please critique: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Infiniti761
I get around 5 views per week, but few messages. And when I do get messages, they just aren't physically the types I'm looking for. They're usually heavier I'm sorry to say, as shallow as that sounds.
Am I ugly? Need reality check. lol...
I wish my main pic had a better smile, but I was a little drunk and that's all I could manage.
I get around 5 views per week, but few messages. And when I do get messages, they just aren't physically the types I'm looking for. They're usually heavier I'm sorry to say, as shallow as that sounds.
Am I ugly? Need reality check. lol...
I wish my main pic had a better smile, but I was a little drunk and that's all I could manage.
You're a guy, you're supposed to send out messages, not sit back and wait to receive them, because that will most likely never happen. Good-looking girls get TONS of messages every day, they have no reason to send out messages themselves.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Not at all. Keep off the facial hair and get a haircut that isn't Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber, though.
Haha I thought the same thing about the hair cut but I wasn't going to say it.
But no you're not ugly.
lmao thanks. FYI the facial hair is long gone, and my hair is not quite the same.
I should work on a current pic that does not have the facial hair.
Sorry, I wasn't clear on that. I know. I DO send out messages. No worries there. I've met 2 girls on OKC over the year+ that I've used it. Then I had a GF for 7 months, and broke up in December 2012. Now I'm back at OKC again and feel like I'm in a drought.
I should work on a current pic that does not have the facial hair.
Sorry, I wasn't clear on that. I know. I DO send out messages. No worries there. I've met 2 girls on OKC over the year+ that I've used it. Then I had a GF for 7 months, and broke up in December 2012. Now I'm back at OKC again and feel like I'm in a drought.
How I met my fiancée was through her messaging me first; but that was a 1 in a 1,000,000 chance of happening. You are, like most things in life, going to get more results by putting in effort yourself.
I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm just saying if you count on that happening to you, you won't have a very good time on OKC as a guy.
I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm just saying if you count on that happening to you, you won't have a very good time on OKC as a guy.
Oh you damn straight son. It's all about casting a wide net on that site.
Keep your head up man. I was at a point where I sent out messages for 2 days with only 1 reply back per day, and today I got 3 replies back over the course of an hour. For the draughts there will be the floods. Is that even a saying?
Cow Mengde
Banned
Ok, another bit of curiosity. Do you guys ever pay attention to whether you send your first message when the person is online, or when they're not there?
Part of me if thinking it you'll be more likely to get replies when the person is there since they immediately get notified as opposed to being in a huge stack of messages when they come back.
Part of me if thinking it you'll be more likely to get replies when the person is there since they immediately get notified as opposed to being in a huge stack of messages when they come back.
Long-time lurker, first time posting. Messaged a girl something like 4ish months ago with an "original/well thought-out" message (well, trying to customize to the little info she had on her profile) and didn't get anything back. Decided on Sunday to hit her with "Pizza or sushi?" (thanks GAF ) on a whim not expecting anything back, and whaddya know, I get a message back today. Too bad I don't really know where to go with "I don't discriminate lol" :|
I was thinking "Who said having a preference is discriminating?" or something along those lines, maybe throwing in a question about her too. Not sure.
Shit's confusing yo.
) on a whim not expecting anything back, and whaddya know, I get a message back today. Too bad I don't really know where to go with "I don't discriminate lol" :| I was thinking "Who said having a preference is discriminating?" or something along those lines, maybe throwing in a question about her too. Not sure.
Shit's confusing yo.
Long-time lurker, first time posting. Messaged a girl something like 4ish months ago with an "original/well thought-out" message (well, trying to customize to the little info she had on her profile) and didn't get anything back. Decided on Sunday to hit her with "Pizza or sushi?" (thanks GAF
I was thinking "Who said having a preference is discriminating?" or something along those lines, maybe throwing in a question about her too. Not sure.
Shit's confusing yo.
"neither do I, that's why I only eat pizza flavored sushi haha" then throw in some question about her
Maddocks
Member
Long-time lurker, first time posting. Messaged a girl something like 4ish months ago with an "original/well thought-out" message (well, trying to customize to the little info she had on her profile) and didn't get anything back. Decided on Sunday to hit her with "Pizza or sushi?" (thanks GAF
I was thinking "Who said having a preference is discriminating?" or something along those lines, maybe throwing in a question about her too. Not sure.
Shit's confusing yo.
sounds defensive. make it light hearted like woodchuck's suggestion. You just need to open up the communications line. Be different then the other guys asking,"Hey baby want to be my girlfriends first lesbian experience?" less is more, that's probably why pizza or corn dogs or pizza or sushi works.
RedAssedApe
Banned
so has anyone ever met up with someone who wouldn't post a picture and had them end up being attractive? or does that only happen in movies and television lol
Jzero
Member
Hell no, that's way too risky.
I didn't know you could do that. I'm going to start hiding the fatties.
Wow, I just saw that I have 525 people on my hidden users list. I'm so freakin' picky.
I feel like I've reached a point where no current existing members are interesting to me on this site, and I must now wait for new members to join. (in my local area)
I go through the search, and the highest match percentage I get now is 71% (50 mile radius). If I go to 100 miles, then I get as high as 98% matches, but they're located in a city of 600,000 people, and I feel like my odds are slim with those lol... Especially since I live 2 hours away from that city.
I feel like I've reached a point where no current existing members are interesting to me on this site, and I must now wait for new members to join. (in my local area)
I go through the search, and the highest match percentage I get now is 71% (50 mile radius). If I go to 100 miles, then I get as high as 98% matches, but they're located in a city of 600,000 people, and I feel like my odds are slim with those lol... Especially since I live 2 hours away from that city.
Chance Hale
Member
Meeting up with profile pic less, shy people is a common trope? Only similar thing that comes to mind for me is almost the opposite where the person puts up an amazing picture and ends up being a fat abomination. (One of the season 1 Nip Tuck episodes is a good example)
Wow, there isn't even that many women in my area. Lol.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Long-time lurker, first time posting. Messaged a girl something like 4ish months ago with an "original/well thought-out" message (well, trying to customize to the little info she had on her profile) and didn't get anything back. Decided on Sunday to hit her with "Pizza or sushi?" (thanks GAF
I sent 30 or so with similar message, got 0 back. I'm really starting to think there's something wrong with me.
Send another question back. Try following up on the food thing, or ask something in their profile. I've gotten replies back for my lengthier messages so I guess I tend to have more to go on.
Long-time lurker, first time posting. Messaged a girl something like 4ish months ago with an "original/well thought-out" message (well, trying to customize to the little info she had on her profile) and didn't get anything back. Decided on Sunday to hit her with "Pizza or sushi?" (thanks GAF
I was thinking "Who said having a preference is discriminating?" or something along those lines, maybe throwing in a question about her too. Not sure.
Shit's confusing yo.
Ask her which sounds better, a pizza sushi roll or a pizza with sushi as a topping..
I remember one Gaffer said they were talking to a picture-less chick, and they Skyped, and she ended up being very attractive. He went on a date with he, and I think he said she was crazy, lol.
Invisible Man
aka SexyNerd
Possibly have a pizza date setup for Saturday with a girl from POF.
The only thing is she has a three year old boy.
I've never dated a girl with a kid before. I mean I good with kids since I have a bunch of younger cousins that I'm close with.
But, I guess I'm looking for advice from someone who has done it before.
The only thing is she has a three year old boy.
I've never dated a girl with a kid before. I mean I good with kids since I have a bunch of younger cousins that I'm close with.
But, I guess I'm looking for advice from someone who has done it before.
WascallyWabbit
Member
That's gotta be my only deal breaker (other than possibly being super-religious) when looking for a girl on the site, but good on ya for looking past it.
Jzero
Member
Yea, same here.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Add smoking and drugs to my list.
Damn.. At first I didn't want to take the copypasta route but its so exhausting going through entire profiles to come up with a question, and only get back maybe 20% of the responses back. Is the general consensus here to just have a general message to send out to everyone in radius or should I suck it up and keep it personal?
Cow Mengde
Banned
The "Pizza or Sushi" question seems to be a big hit for some reason. It worked for quite a few people, and then there are people like me who get 0 returns from that.
I had always made them personal. It sucks to have to read everything and point something out but if you're really interested then it's definitely worth it in the long run.
I'm sure they get a ton of generic messages anyways. Why not stand out a little?
WascallyWabbit
Member
I had always made them personal. It sucks to have to read everything and point something out but if you're really interested then it's definitely worth it in the long run.
I'm sure they get a ton of generic messages anyways. Why not stand out a little?
I try to be personal when I can, but sometimes there's not much there in a girl's profile. But I always keep it short, I used to type freaking paragraphs and it was totally pointless
Same here, never worked. Then again, my messages never seem to work, no matter how short/original/tailor-made I try to make them. Doesn't help that I can't have the luxury of having 500-some hidden users like that guy earlier cause there just aren't nearly as many women in my area.
I'm pretty sure if your profile is interesting, girls will respond to you either way, unless your message is really, really bad. Dralla's having success with the line because his profile is good ANYWAY (as proven by the amount of dates he seems to get), so if he says "pizza or sushi?" works for him, then it works for him because most messages would work for him. For those with less "convincing in itself" profiles, pizza or sushi might not work that well and those people would preferably write a more personal message, to "make up" for what's lacking in the profile by showing more interest with a personalized message.
Just my 2 cents.
Just my 2 cents.
your message + profile are one and the same. You cannot get women to message you without the other. They have to know you're interesting enough to return the message.
What I'm saying is:
Boring Message (pizza or sushi?) & interesting profile (dralla?) = response
interesting message (personal) & boring profile = response
boring message & boring profile = no response
if that makes more sense for what I was trying to say.
Of course the optimum would be interesting message AND profile, but that's not always possible, and the topic was on the pizza&sushi question. I'd always advice a personal message, anyway, regardless of how confident you are in your profile.Red_taiyaki
Member
What I'm saying is:
Boring Message (pizza or sushi?) & interesting profile (dralla?) = response
interesting message (personal) & boring profile = response
boring message & boring profile = no response
if that makes more sense for what I was trying to say.
Or you can just send an interesting SHORT message. Those seem to work the best for me.
definitely. I feel like long messages give away "too much" and might make you boring really quickly, don't think people are interested in "pen pals" like that. Make it short, get to the point, don't give away too much, then see if there's chemistry in person.
That's the theory, at least.
Cow Mengde
Banned
What I'm saying is:
Boring Message (pizza or sushi?) & interesting profile (dralla?) = response
interesting message (personal) & boring profile = response
boring message & boring profile = no response
if that makes more sense for what I was trying to say.
I had a friend get his wife to look over my profile and she says it's endearing. Not sure if that's good. I mean, I don't know his wife at all, that's why I thought it would be a good idea since she has no reason to hold back.
Still, not gonna sit back and be satisfied with that. I think I'm on the right track with my profile and some of the replies I get. Just kind of disappointed by a recent back and forth. Ended up getting in contact with someone bad. She's like every bad stereotype rolled into one.
ElectricBlue187
Member
I sorta stopped caring about online dating a few months ago and a girl messaged me out of nowhere to meet for lunch on monday and we might do something this weekend too.
False Witness
Member
I've written 5000 words over the last two days in a single conversation. That shit is wild. Still, it's been a really good conversation and fits my preferred way of doing things.
I hate short messages with no real meat to them, which are the usual ones I receive. Of course, I should be thankful that people send me messages in the first place because I have a shitty profile. Most guys have to do all the work themselves without even ending up with a response half the time.
Agreed.
Of the X number of girls I've messaged with on OKC over the year+ I've been on the site, the 2 girls I actually met up with both responded with 3+ paragraphs every time we exchanged messages. This showed me they had interest in what I was talking about, and I replied in the same manner.
Too often it appears conversations are shallow and less than a paragraph where the girl doesn't appear all that interested in elaborating things. This makes me lose interest in them quickly.
I've also gotten numerous "hi how r u" messages or similar, none of which I reply to.
Cow Mengde
Banned
You're female, right? I think the idea to short ice breakers is that women are bound to be flooded with messages in their inbox and they have to spend god knows how long to read through all of them. So a quick ice breaker makes it easier for them to read and decide if they want to reply back to you.
False Witness
Member
Nope.
Mushroomer25
Member
Is there a reason why I'm constantly being recommended bisexual chicks? Nothing against them (and it's not like I'm ruling it out) - but I seem to be getting matched with them at an unnaturally high rate. I did say yes to "I want my partner to be kinkier than me", but I don't see why a single question would factor so heavily into the metric.
Or is this just a cultural thing where every girl my age considers herself bisexual...
Or is this just a cultural thing where every girl my age considers herself bisexual...
dutchguyjack
Member
For as far as I understood, a lot of girls list themselves as BiSexual to seem more appealing to guys. Generally these girls aren't actually bisexual, and never message or respond to messages from other girls.
Alternatively, bi-girls might find it harder to approach people in real life, or get approached less, so the proportion of bi-girls might be larger online than in real life. OR you can't tell apart straight from bi-girls in real life, under-estimating the proportion of girls that are bi. OR they're also looking for female friends (just regular plain old friends), and the only way they'll show up in other girls' matches is if they put themselves as bi, even though they're only looking for friendships with other girls. Probably a bit of everything.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Actually if she doesn't know you well, doesn't that mean she's actually more likely to hold back on criticism so as not to offend you? That and most of the girls I know tend to take the middle road. Like how my sister-in-law calls all girls cute. When she does this my brother just rolls his eyes and tells me not to listen to her. lol
Cow Mengde
Banned
She doesn't know me, why would she be afraid to offend me? Plus, I'm told she speaks her mind.
dutchguyjack
Member
On the topic of messaging habbits and how people judge each other, I came across some interesting statistics on an OkCupid blog:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
Even though stereotypically the men supposedly only pay attention to "the hot girls", our definition of a "hot" or "average" girl is far milder than that of how women judge us. The graphs in the link clearly show that girls rate most guys as below average.
It's interesting since it indicates that women are far more critical of looks then men are, even though the stereotype suggests that men would be more critical.
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/
Even though stereotypically the men supposedly only pay attention to "the hot girls", our definition of a "hot" or "average" girl is far milder than that of how women judge us. The graphs in the link clearly show that girls rate most guys as below average.
It's interesting since it indicates that women are far more critical of looks then men are, even though the stereotype suggests that men would be more critical.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/juddermang
Any suggestions/criticisms/voodoo magic I should do on this thing would be greatly appreciated.
Any suggestions/criticisms/voodoo magic I should do on this thing would be greatly appreciated.
What I'm saying is:
Boring Message (pizza or sushi?) & interesting profile (dralla?) = response
interesting message (personal) & boring profile = response
boring message & boring profile = no response
if that makes more sense for what I was trying to say.
Well I don't always send the pancake waffle message, just most of the time. The 2 girls I'm texting with now I did 'regular' messages, same with another I'm talking to on the site. The 'boring' message is just to get a conversation started really. They see the whole message in the headline, which is really good if they're on the app, which a lot of the girls I talk to seem to be. I always keep messages short though, just a few sentences. Unlike the dude in here who sent the novel and got told to resend it in 3 sentences or less hah, that actually made me lol And I'm not sure my profile is 'interesting' per say, but I do try and make sure I have personality in there, stand out a little. I actually just re-did my self summary, a little more..serious in tone I guess you'd say, seems to be working about the same as my old one.
And speaking of girls I'm texting, one is a littttttle young, not sure what to do haha
WascallyWabbit
Member
Have a good time, but make sure she's not under 18
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