Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
No luck as of late on here. Had the one girl a few months back and we went out a few times and still chat but she seems to be over me.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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dutchguyjack
Member
I have a second phone just for that reason lol. Did she ask for it?
There's some girls that have it on, but I feel like I'd actually have less motivation to answer to a short IM than to a more thoughtful message if I was on the receiving end. I have IM off myself.
On another note, I have a date for after finals are over.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Was doing the pizza or sushi message today lol. Haven't used a dating site in a long time. Had one reply but one other girl replied with "neither".
I am not all butt pained about girls rejecting me here. I know they gets tons of messages and I know my chances. But to me it just fundamentally makes you a bad person if you don't like pizza OR sushi.
I didn't even conceive that as a possible reply. I can understand not liking one or the other, but both? That just makes no logical sense to me.
Nope. But I was thinking of saying "I'm free on so and so let's go so or so. Here's my #"
Or if that would be giving away my number too quick. In the end I just asked her if she's been to place or place. Is chat better than messaging?
I am not all butt pained about girls rejecting me here. I know they gets tons of messages and I know my chances. But to me it just fundamentally makes you a bad person if you don't like pizza OR sushi.
I didn't even conceive that as a possible reply. I can understand not liking one or the other, but both? That just makes no logical sense to me.
Nope. But I was thinking of saying "I'm free on so and so let's go so or so. Here's my #"
Or if that would be giving away my number too quick. In the end I just asked her if she's been to place or place. Is chat better than messaging?
dutchguyjack
Member
I think in the second message might be a little fast, it generally appears as though a small conversation of a few messages builds a little bit of trust and then you'll be able to propose a meet. Read some article on this as well that said the same thing, like 3 or 4 messages I think.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Well, I left it on my third message (after her second)
Not expecting anything but glad she replied a second time
peteykirch
Member
So had a girl message me, after I messaged her..........
Get this....
FOUR FREAKING MONTHS AGO
I mean really, how backed are you that it takes you 4 months to get back to someone?
Get this....
FOUR FREAKING MONTHS AGO
I mean really, how backed are you that it takes you 4 months to get back to someone?
WascallyWabbit
Member
hey shit happens, I would love if that happened to me. You should see where it goes
peteykirch
Member
Except now she's seeing someone.
I mean like why bother responding at that rate.
dutchguyjack
Member
Perhaps she's looking for a third wheel
WascallyWabbit
Member
lol girls are weird. News at 10
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I changed my main profile pic to one where I'm actually smiling instead of just vaguely so. I've gotten a fair amount of high ratings and messages anyway, but I'm betting that this will make a difference. Let's see.
What I'm saying is:
Boring Message (pizza or sushi?) & interesting profile (dralla?) = response
interesting message (personal) & boring profile = response
boring message & boring profile = no response
if that makes more sense for what I was trying to say.
Just tested this theory out and it's pretty spot on.
I normally send pretty tame messages that are a few sentences to show I read the girls profile and follow up with a question.
I just sent out a few very simple messages that were more on the "interesting" side than anything with some humor and only about one sentence and a question. Got responses today.
I'd like to consider I have an interesting profile, I try to keep mine pretty easy to follow (not a wall of text) and throw in humor wherever I can - yet not so much that I seem like a clown.
EDIT: By the way guys/girls, there's a new feature on the site if you look under your photos section of your profile. It allows you to submit all of your pics for "ratings" by other users, who then choose between you vs another person of similar nature. It then compiles a report of what types of people like how you look, and tells you what picture you should use as your primary profile pic due to high ratings. It was pretty cool, and a bit of a confidence lifter to see my best 3 pics were considered more attractive like 75% of the time to girls ranging 18-31+ lol.
Also it showed clearly that people like pics of you doing something rather than just a pic you took of yourself on your phone.
False Witness
Member
I swear, the rating system is bugging me. I've been getting a lot of 4-5s lately, but there is no way to tell who is giving them out without A-List. When I had that free A-List thing that was posted here before, it was about half-GAFfers and half-people in my area.
EDIT: Now my match settings are completely messing up as well, like it was doing with Leeness before.
EDIT: Now my match settings are completely messing up as well, like it was doing with Leeness before.
NobleGundam
Banned
Okc "Match Search Settings" aren't working properly.
I have it set within 50 miles of the city and it keeps giving results of matches from anywhere. Tried changing it to the appropriate settings and still hasn't changed.
I have it set within 50 miles of the city and it keeps giving results of matches from anywhere. Tried changing it to the appropriate settings and still hasn't changed.
Girl I went on a first date with two weeks ago randomly texted back today. Wat. I'll go with "wasn't interested and is now bored" until proven otherwise. We're meeting again next week, I'll just take it MUCH more relaxed than the first date and see what happens. Vancouver is safe enough for me not to worry about my organs, I'll just have fun with it and have no expectations.
Just tested this theory out and it's pretty spot on.
I normally send pretty tame messages that are a few sentences to show I read the girls profile and follow up with a question.
I just sent out a few very simple messages that were more on the "interesting" side than anything with some humor and only about one sentence and a question. Got responses today.
I'd like to consider I have an interesting profile, I try to keep mine pretty easy to follow (not a wall of text) and throw in humor wherever I can - yet not so much that I seem like a clown.
Update: Success. Phone number achieved. I'm back in the groove, baby!
lol...
WascallyWabbit
Member
Whoo! UFRA got his groove back.
GurgleBot20
Member
Any advice on deciding what to say when messaging someone you're interested in?
WascallyWabbit
Member
we've been discussing that a lot lately, just read the last 4-5 pages (approximately)
... How do I tell a girl that I value my time/myself and if she's not interested then she should tell me, and that the ball's in her court if she wants to do something? Do you ever even say that, as a guy? Or do I just play it cool and be like "whatever" without saying anything. (because that's how I feel like. I'll go do sth if it happens, but she didn't seem particularly interested, esp after not texting for 2 weeks, so the ball of showing interest definitely isn't in my court, I feel like)
Ok, so your previous post - the date for next week - is that still on?
If so, then just go for it and see what happens, if she's not interested then you only wasted a day. If things go well, then suggest another date or something and see how she reacts. If she gives you some neutral answer, you know she's probably not interested that much. Then you can move on.
Usually if someone is interested they will make time for you, and seek you out. The no contact for 2 weeks thing is kinda weird, is she a shy type or something?
Not at all, she seems rather flakey, actually. I thought she just wasn't interested anymore after the first date and I went on with my life.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Red_taiyaki
Member
Interesting...never been thanked before for setting up a date with a girl O.O...
Rollo Tomasi
Member
Any short guys with success stories to tell? I feel like my height is a huge detriment to girls wanting to reply. Its like fucking "No Country for Short Men" out here.
Jzero
Member
This one really short dude at the gym i go to is now dating one of the hot chicks that goes to work out.
He's buff though.
Okcupid gods, I require advice. Posting back and forth with a girl, we get maybe five or six messages deep and they all go really well. This morning I gave her my number and totally expected a text or a call during the day. Got neither, and she hasn't responded on OKC since.
Now I know it's possible she's holding off on replying for whatever reason, and I'm also no stranger to messaging several girls at a time and at some point ignoring them all in favor of one, but I was hoping you guys might offer advice as to how to proceed, beyond ignoring the matter all together.
I can post the messages themselves if it'd help get better advice. TL;DR version:
1. Message her out of common interest in video games
2. Go back and forth on video games for a few messages
3. Ask her a question about herself
4. She answers and asks me a similar question
5. I answer and giver her my number
The whole time she's peppering in smiley faces and generally being more flirty and seemingly interested than the average OKC girl typically is.
What do?
Now I know it's possible she's holding off on replying for whatever reason, and I'm also no stranger to messaging several girls at a time and at some point ignoring them all in favor of one, but I was hoping you guys might offer advice as to how to proceed, beyond ignoring the matter all together.
I can post the messages themselves if it'd help get better advice. TL;DR version:
1. Message her out of common interest in video games
2. Go back and forth on video games for a few messages
3. Ask her a question about herself
4. She answers and asks me a similar question
5. I answer and giver her my number
The whole time she's peppering in smiley faces and generally being more flirty and seemingly interested than the average OKC girl typically is.
What do?
Finally went on a lunch date with a girl I've been talking to for like a month now. We had like a 99% Match rating, but it kinda sucked. I mean we had a decent conversation I guess, but it still felt awkward as fuck the whole time. I think I was thrown off because she looked different in her profile picture and she was wearing heels that elevated her height above mine. We hugged and she said we should do it again sometime. I said I would talk to her later, but I was thinking of just not contacting her again even though I feel bad because we actually bonded a little bit online. Overall, the experience helped me to realize that having the same opinions about stuff doesn't mean you're romantically compatible. It also made me realize that, at this point in my life, I would really vastly prefer the "hook-up and see where it goes" approach, but that never happens for me. :/
WascallyWabbit
Member
Let it go, if it happens, it happens. If she doesn't? On to the next one.
I've had a girl text me like three days after I gave her my number.
I think you were doing fine.
Honestly every girl is different, so it's hit/miss really.
I've had some girls that I gave my number to after 3-5 messages, and then minutes later we were texting the rest of the evening.
Then I've had others where I do the same practice, and they either A) Stop responding entirely (to which I'm like WTF) or B) Say something like "I like to stick to messaging for a few days before going to the phone." which is fine and understandable, so just go with it.
windowlurker
Banned
You exchanged phone numbers far too early.
Dont worry Id never sent that shit, my friend suggested it and I thought Id run it by you guys. I knew it sounded a bit odd to begin with.
donkey show
Member
How short? I'm 5'5" and been casually dating with two girls from the site for about 2 months now, one shorter (5'3") and one taller (5'7"). Here in the UK, I feel like a midget in comparison to some of the girls in the north here. So yeah, looking for someone based on height is kind of tough and vice versa. It helps if your profile is pretty funny as humor is the ultimate icebreaker.
dutchguyjack
Member
I don't agree - you need to move to the next stage fairly quickly otherwise you'll end up becoming a pen pall. It depends on the conversation, but if you feel a phone number is too soon, exchange IM address or e-mail address and continue the conversation there, then move over to phone. But again, I think moving quickly is the way to go.
Confused101
Member
At this point in the game, I'm inclined to agree with this. It's a dating site after all and making your intentions clear early (even though it should be obvious anyway) would be to your benefit. If she's not ready, she'll let you know. That's what happened to the girl I'm currently emailing. I asked if we could continue the conversation over the phone or through texts. She said she prefers to take it slow so I offered an alternative by suggesting emails instead of using the site. She agreed and that's where I'm currently at. At least she knows where I want to be though.
stn
Member
I started doing this recently. Have been talking to the same girl for over a week now after she found me, I tried moving it to a meet-up but she was uncomfortable with moving that fast. I can understand that, you're just a picture on a computer screen.
My advice to anyone is be flirty, fun, and go for random. If your messages are simple exchanges of "What kind of music do you like?" then it'll end quickly. Unless the girl is REALLY into your picture her interest will disappear.
EDIT: And failure is very common. I get tons of views based on my pic but not nearly as many messages. Though more girls message me than I message them.
My advice to anyone is be flirty, fun, and go for random. If your messages are simple exchanges of "What kind of music do you like?" then it'll end quickly. Unless the girl is REALLY into your picture her interest will disappear.
EDIT: And failure is very common. I get tons of views based on my pic but not nearly as many messages. Though more girls message me than I message them.
dutchguyjack
Member
How important is it for someone to have the same food interest as you? This girl I've been messaging with for a while is crazy about Japanese/Asian food, while I don't eat that kind of food that much, if barely. I wonder if this might "hurt" my chances.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
It's determined by how many messages you receive, too. There's an amount you have to reach every week before you'll be yellow or red.
WascallyWabbit
Member
lol how are we supposed to know if some random girl will dismiss you based on your food preferences?
I dunno, that's why im asking if someone had some experience in the past with this situation, doesn't hurt to ask now does it?
stn
Member
The answer is you shouldn't care. You'll have to tough it out and go for sushi or whatever, sure, but in exchange she should go for something you like. If she refuses you because you don't like Asian food, well, that's just idiotic.
Do what you do and be honest about what you like. But, be "risk-taking" as well.
Do what you do and be honest about what you like. But, be "risk-taking" as well.
WascallyWabbit
Member
well since know none of us know this woman how could we have any experience with this? You should be relieved if she does dismiss you over the fact that you don't like asian food because that would be stupid and you shouldn't be dating stupid people
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