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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
- Status
That's not a first world problem. That's not even a zeroth world problem. That's success right there. Enjoy it.
Nice pics (I chuckled out loud at your caption to the cell phone one), good humorous but not too silly profile. Overall looks nice to me.
Only tip would be get rid of the weed reference, unless you don't want to date someone who's not into that at all. Just a suggestion.
Also, we are a 95% match which is scary.
Edit: TY Grizz
electricshake
Member
At least you know he is terrible at texting though, so it's not a total surprise that he hasn't gotten back to you yet. But I hate the texting game when you aren't settled into a routine with it yet. I am also a terrible texter but I fucking love texting if I'm seeing someone, it always improves my day when I get a text from him. But then I always stress about stupid stuff like why hasn't he texted me this week, or replied to my last message, or why are there no kisses at the end of that last text (I seriously overanalyse everything, even though if I had a friend in the same situation I would tell them to get a grip). It's stuff like that that makes me realise I am kind of mental, which makes me sad because I always thought I was pretty normal. The guy I'm seeing isn't really one for text banter, we really just text to arrange to see each other. But I'm about to start exams so won't have time to meet up with him so I'm worried that we won't talk for a couple of weeks and he'll decide he's not that into me. I found I was the one to text him first a lot so I've tried to cut down on that, I don't want to come on too strong and scare him away. Anyway this isn't even OKC-related so I don't know why I'm posting about it in here!
Long-time lurker, first time posting. Messaged a girl something like 4ish months ago with an "original/well thought-out" message (well, trying to customize to the little info she had on her profile) and didn't get anything back. Decided on Sunday to hit her with "Pizza or sushi?" (thanks GAF
I was thinking "Who said having a preference is discriminating?" or something along those lines, maybe throwing in a question about her too. Not sure.
Shit's confusing yo.
Update on this, I went with dralla's suggestion ("which sounds better, a pizza sushi roll or a sushi-topped pizza?") and asked what she did in the city, got no response lol. Never understand why girls will respond to one message and then disappear.
Oh well, got a convo started with another girl with "Pancakes or waffles?" I think I'm gonna stick to these one-liners, it's a numbers game on OKC and I'm not gonna take the time out to write a personalized message until I know I'm getting an answer.
False Witness
Member
If a guy is into you, he will adapt to your texting routine/pace.
Hell, i can't stand texting, but I've probably written a damned novel using the number pad on my old flip phone over the last few weeks. Admittedly, I don't send random texts out, but I always find the time to respond.
__
If you're not going to craft an individual message to each person, don't feel bad about the copy/paste thing with a sensible message that can apply to nearly everyone. Also, if you speak another language, even if you only know the tiniest bit, you should type a message in that language explaining how much you know and where you learned it. Add something asking how the other person came to learn it and toss in an introduction at the end. Send that message out to anyone else who has that language listed in their profile.
It's pretty much a guaranteed profile view with a high chance of a response that can easily lead into any other topic.
Hell, i can't stand texting, but I've probably written a damned novel using the number pad on my old flip phone over the last few weeks. Admittedly, I don't send random texts out, but I always find the time to respond.
__
If you're not going to craft an individual message to each person, don't feel bad about the copy/paste thing with a sensible message that can apply to nearly everyone. Also, if you speak another language, even if you only know the tiniest bit, you should type a message in that language explaining how much you know and where you learned it. Add something asking how the other person came to learn it and toss in an introduction at the end. Send that message out to anyone else who has that language listed in their profile.
It's pretty much a guaranteed profile view with a high chance of a response that can easily lead into any other topic.
I feel you. I tried to come up with something original for every message I send but for the time it takes me to do that and not get responses back most of the time it seems like it isn't efficient.
I don't think he's going to, he hasn't yet!
Oh well
it happens I guess. It's too bad, because we really had a lot in common, but ah well.Pancakes
hot, steaming, as melted butter slips into the cracks, drizzled with sticky sweet syrup OH GOD
I feel silly even asking this but...
How do you make the jump from just chatting about hobbies and life to meeting up for fro yo or coffee? I've only been talking to this girl for a day and a half now and I don't want to come off as creepy.
How do you make the jump from just chatting about hobbies and life to meeting up for fro yo or coffee? I've only been talking to this girl for a day and a half now and I don't want to come off as creepy.
stn
Member
Depending on the person, keep talking. I've had girls straight up ask me for drinks after two quick messages, lol. Then there are some that I talked with consistently--and still do, mind you--and still nothing.
I'd say work your way up to making flirty jokes and see how it goes. Once she gets comfortable and accepts that you're not some stalker/creep, you may get the date.
I'd say work your way up to making flirty jokes and see how it goes. Once she gets comfortable and accepts that you're not some stalker/creep, you may get the date.
The time is now to go for it. Don't drag it on too long.
Are you texting or talking on the phone actually? If you're talking on the phone, just call her up - exchange normal small talk about how her day was or whatever, then when there's a brief pause in the convo just say "so I was wondering if you'd be interested in going out for some coffee with me sometime this week" or whatever, for example.
Works just fine, doesn't come off as creepy, and shows you'd like to move things along.
Edit: If you're still talking via the website, then at least try to progress to something more personal first. Like phone or personal email. Then, do that for a day and then go for the kill.
My current success story progressed like this: Day 1: She messaged me first. We messaged 3 times throughout the entire day (big messages, like 2-3 paragraphs), ending with phone number exchange. Day 2: We texted for the evening when we were both done with work. Day 3: Phone call, 1 hr convo, and I then asked her to go to dinner. Done deal, date set. This is with a more outgoing girl, so with a shy girl it may take a little longer I'd think.
dutchguyjack
Member
'Hey I need to go now, but let's carry on with this conversation over a coffee some time!"
One of many ways to ask her. Just don't make it into a big deal, because she'll feel the pressure if you do.
Edit: If by talking you mean typing, ask for her phone number first. Move away from OkCupid before asking to meet up.
Pancakes
hot, steaming, as melted butter slips into the cracks, drizzled with sticky sweet syrup OH GOD
That's the thing. She's responding to my messages but she's being kinda short. Like 1 word or 1 sentence responses to my paragraph.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Hmm... I don't have a good feeling about short messages like that. I guess just go for it and ask. It wouldn't kill you.
Pancakes
hot, steaming, as melted butter slips into the cracks, drizzled with sticky sweet syrup OH GOD
Yep. Asked her if she wanted to hang out at a new restaurant opening up on campus (we go to the same uni) this week.
We'll see how this goes.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Just spend several hours talking to this girl on a French dating site. She came to me.
We talked a lot about a lot of things, very nice.
We'd like to see each other, but she's in the south, I'm in Paris. She told me I could come visit her if I want to.
But I don't know.It's way too fast!
Also I don't know her body type as she only put her head and shoulder as pictures (very nice head)
But still. Too fast so I don't know what to think.
Maybe she's a serial killer. Or a man..
(She seems legit, I googled her like every normal 21st century kid..)
Just spend several hours talking to this girl on a French dating site. She came to me.
We talked a lot about a lot of things, very nice.
We'd like to see each other, but she's in the south, I'm in Paris. She told me I could come visit her if I want to.
But I don't know.It's way too fast!
Also I don't know her body type as she only put her head and shoulder as pictures (very nice head)
But still. Too fast so I don't know what to think.
Maybe she's a serial killer. Or a man..
(She seems legit, I googled her like every normal 21st century kid..)
Pancakes
hot, steaming, as melted butter slips into the cracks, drizzled with sticky sweet syrup OH GOD
Danmit. Apparently this girl goes to a satellite campus that's like 40 minutes away from our main one that I go too. Welp, that's the end of that I suppose.
dutchguyjack
Member
Tell her to come over lol.
40mins isn't far. 2/3 girls I went on dates with I took public transit for like 45mins/1h... Such is the crux of living in a suburb.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
80% of the girls who visit my profile live nowhere near me in another New England state or somewhere in the suburbs. I live in the city. I do not have a car.
It's silly, but it's just kind of annoying.
It's silly, but it's just kind of annoying.
RedAssedApe
Banned
I keep seeing girls with "inabox" in their username. Are these fake accounts, coincidence, or am I just missing some kind of meme/reference/joke here?
Had a date last night, she was cute but was really plain and kind of boring so I don't think I'll be going in for a second. Got another girl's number though so I'm going to try and set up a date for later this week.
On another note after getting out of a long term relationship and forgetting how to date I am pretty confident/used to first dates now thanks to OKCupid and POF.
On another note after getting out of a long term relationship and forgetting how to date I am pretty confident/used to first dates now thanks to OKCupid and POF.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Ya, it's kind of funny. Before I used to sweat DAYSSSSSSSSSSS before a first date. Then I joined OKC, so now I'm kind of like....meh. I'll get nerves about ten minutes before a first date if any.
What scares the crap out of me now is calling AFTER a first date...
dutchguyjack
Member
So an interesting evening on dating websites and OkCupid today. I got contacted by 3 different people (e.g. they sent me a message, not me to them), two of which turned out to be fake (Hey, at least the scammers think I'm 'cute' and want to meet me!), and one girl who said she was 20 but looked 14, and acted like it as well.
I think I'm attracting the wrong attention here lol.
I think I'm attracting the wrong attention here lol.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Lol is your profile pic the same as your GAF avatar?
dutchguyjack
Member
Nah it isn't haha, I'm a bit more sensible than that. Though I think some professionally taken photographs would help a bunch, but I need to come up with a theme other than 'bland, generic headshot'.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Try taking a pic of yourself (or ask someone else) doing an outdoor activity of some sort. That seems to be what works for me....
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I think it's one of the recommendations for when you try to sign up with a common username. Like, if you wanted your username to be 'John', it would probably suggest John_inabox, John_taco... I think there's a couple others that I see frequently.
What if your first name is Dick?
Pancakes
hot, steaming, as melted butter slips into the cracks, drizzled with sticky sweet syrup OH GOD
I feel your pain. Seems like the all the cool girls I have conversations with are 50+ miles away from me at UF or FSU while I'm stuck in Miami.
RedAssedApe
Banned
ah no wonder. i've seen taco and ny_to_la...or some variation as well.
I like the second picture more.
Cow Mengde
Banned
LOL, I have the same problem.
Well this is a new one. Girl I'm texting with used to work where I work, and not too long ago. She knows all my co-workers. Today is my last day and she said she might stop in and say Hello. We have plans to go out on Friday. I'm not sure I like the idea of 'meeting' her before our first meet up lol. But I asked some people and they said she's cute but kinda looks like a zombie cause she's pale, which is okay with me, dark hair and pale skin is nice
False Witness
Member
"Well, she kind of looks like a corpse."
"Mmmm.... even better."
Nah, just messing with you.
I'm actually getting ready to go out on the first date that I've ever actually planned myself this weekend. Normally, I let the girl do all the work, but I decided to be proactive in one of these situations for once in my life. Honestly though, I'm not doing this shit again. Way too much work.
"Mmmm.... even better."
Nah, just messing with you.
I'm actually getting ready to go out on the first date that I've ever actually planned myself this weekend. Normally, I let the girl do all the work, but I decided to be proactive in one of these situations for once in my life. Honestly though, I'm not doing this shit again. Way too much work.
NobleGundam
Banned
This right here. These feels.
I've noticed only a very small percentage of females will engage the first private message on an interested match. *I do realize there's potential unwanted creeps to avoid*
Confused101
Member
Ok gurus, I need your help although I'm probably just over-thinking this. I've been having some luck on PoF lately. Messaged a cute girl today who seemed to be very compatible with me. Now PoF has this feature called "Meet Me" where users can simply say yes, no or maybe in regards to meeting another user. If you click yes, that user will receive an email saying that you want to meet them and that's basically it. Well after I sent my message, I get one of those "Meet Me" notifications and it's her. So do you guys think that's kind of like saying she's interested but doesn't have time to respond properly at the moment? If she doesn't respond in a couple days, should I send another message? I guess I should just stop getting too excited and wait to see what happens.
loganclaws
Plane Escape Torment
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I don't know why I feel bad when I ignore a girl's message if I'm not into her. It's so stupid. I've replied essentially out of courtesy a few times, which I completely realize is fucking ridiculous. Not doing it anymore if I'm not interested, I'm not interested. No sense leading someone on.
I'd just forget the messages and meet if thats what she wants to do.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Looks good, maybe add some photos of you doing something active that aren't just torso and up shots.
Also, is there a reason you won't date anyone 30+ ?
Just checking, a lot of people don't realize the age limit they set
Also, rated you
loganclaws
Plane Escape Torment
Thanks bud, yeh I'm not interested in dating someone older.
You have to be an "A-List" member now (aka, pay us) to browse without people knowing you visited.
Interficium
Banned
My only requirement on OkCupid these days is that your profile picture not show up on a Google Image Search, jesus.
Confused101
Member
And how would I go about setting that up without being able to contact her? Unless you're talking about having an actual conversation over messages which then I could understand. Should I give it another day and try to contact her again?
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