So, I just had my first date ever the other night (I'm 27). This was a girl that I had messaged back in January but only just got back to me on Friday. I didn't reply until Saturday, but we had a chain going for a good portion of that day until I asked her to a nerdy music festival thing here that was happening that night in Orlando that I had won an extra ticket to. It's unfortunate that she lives so far away, but that gave us some good time to talk. Got a kiss at the end of the night and she wants to set up a second date.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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Cow Mengde
Banned
Same here.
WascallyWabbit
Member
good for you man!
I was wondering when this was going to happen. I'm at 17 at the moment and figured it
was probably 20. Anyone want to help with three more?
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/leoprod
PS: I could use some advice on if I'm using my best picture.
I think I might be closing in on a date with the 19 year chick I've been talking to. I asked her for her number in this last exchange (I think it's the 4th exchange now). I'm not going to make too much of fuss over the whole age thing because age is nothing but a number. We'll see what happens, but since I got her attention, I feel pretty good about my chances. If not, then no sweat off my back.
I've come to terms with the fact that I should be going out with younger women any way since many women my age I've been matched with are working professionals. I have a much better shot with women who are currently in college.
I also noticed that I keep getting paired up with women who are Harry Potter fans or claim that they've read the books and wrote "Being on this website lol" for The Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit. I like nerdy chicks though. Hopefully the chick who's a comic book nerd/Nintendo fan replies.
If anyone wants to give my profile another critique as to pictures to add or subtract or if it sticks out, here's the link:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist
I tried injecting more humor into my profile but I don't know if it's successful/funny so check it for that as well.
I've come to terms with the fact that I should be going out with younger women any way since many women my age I've been matched with are working professionals. I have a much better shot with women who are currently in college.
I also noticed that I keep getting paired up with women who are Harry Potter fans or claim that they've read the books and wrote "Being on this website lol" for The Most Private Thing I'm Willing to Admit. I like nerdy chicks though. Hopefully the chick who's a comic book nerd/Nintendo fan replies.
If anyone wants to give my profile another critique as to pictures to add or subtract or if it sticks out, here's the link:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/heightsartist
I tried injecting more humor into my profile but I don't know if it's successful/funny so check it for that as well.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Looks like I rated you before. I'd use the third pic of you. But then again it could just be that I don't like blurry pics at all
I don't really understand the first paragraph of your profile, but that could just be me. Otherwise it looks good.
Even if you are only interested in younger girls, you might wanna extend that by one year. After all, they could be born in the same year but their bday happened to be before yours and they won't show up.
So that was probably you I just saw visiting my profile, I'll rate you. I'll fix that up thanks. I've been editing it left and right now. Adding and subtracting pictures.
Rated. Your profile looks pretty solid to me homie.
WascallyWabbit
Member
yeah the asian dude playing tennis was me
Personally I'd pick the photo of you in the short sleeves leaning against that thing
stn
Member
I actually had this in my profile at one point: "We both know you're here because you like my pic. Message me!"
I still got a ton of messages, nobody even cared about my shallow and bare profile. I don't know how much a "good" profile makes a difference, to be honest. I'm sure there are some people who will take the time to read a profile and send a message based on it (I do this). But really I'm just speculating.
I still got a ton of messages, nobody even cared about my shallow and bare profile. I don't know how much a "good" profile makes a difference, to be honest. I'm sure there are some people who will take the time to read a profile and send a message based on it (I do this). But really I'm just speculating.
Gave both of your profiles a 5/5. I'll give some feedback on your profile a little later when my head stops killing me, and I complete editing my profile (since I just finished my last day of my undergrad, forever).
loganclaws
Plane Escape Torment
Where does it show this "Hot" thing on OKC? I think I have more than 20 high ratings!
Spunky Monkey
Member
This thread makes for horribly depressive reading for me. Every day i try and send out 10 messages and every day i have ZERO replies. About 1/3 actually take the time to look at my profile but they never reply either.
I really don't know where im going wrong. I don't think my profile is bad, i even made a fake profile using a picture of a semi famous actor and it gets loads of messages, most not even realising who the picture is. They all mention the profile in some way and say its really good but i know they're messaging because of the picture.
Im not an ugly guy, but i can't figure out why im putting so much effort in and getting zero back out. Each message i send is unique, most of the time its tough going because what can you put when all a girl has put on her profile is:
'I like going out with friends, but i also like staying in with a comfy DVD. I love my family and i love travelling. Im kind and caring, shy at first but i'll open up quickly. Anything else just ask!'
I mean seriously, how dull can a person be but 90% of girls profiles have that. No talk about their hobbies or interests, just the most generic shit. If im lucky they mention hobbies or interests i talk about them, ask a question or two but don't go on for pages. Just a paragraph or so.
Maybe i am just an ugly git and everyone on these sites in my area are just horribly shallow. I read how some of you are juggling 3 or 4 girls, i can't even get a reply and its really starting to get me down and start hating people. Its not that hard to reply, especially when i've put the effort in. I really don't know where im going wrong
I really don't know where im going wrong. I don't think my profile is bad, i even made a fake profile using a picture of a semi famous actor and it gets loads of messages, most not even realising who the picture is. They all mention the profile in some way and say its really good but i know they're messaging because of the picture.
Im not an ugly guy, but i can't figure out why im putting so much effort in and getting zero back out. Each message i send is unique, most of the time its tough going because what can you put when all a girl has put on her profile is:
'I like going out with friends, but i also like staying in with a comfy DVD. I love my family and i love travelling. Im kind and caring, shy at first but i'll open up quickly. Anything else just ask!'
I mean seriously, how dull can a person be but 90% of girls profiles have that. No talk about their hobbies or interests, just the most generic shit. If im lucky they mention hobbies or interests i talk about them, ask a question or two but don't go on for pages. Just a paragraph or so.
Maybe i am just an ugly git and everyone on these sites in my area are just horribly shallow. I read how some of you are juggling 3 or 4 girls, i can't even get a reply and its really starting to get me down and start hating people. Its not that hard to reply, especially when i've put the effort in. I really don't know where im going wrong
Done, thanks for the recommendation.
I put that into my message me box for the hell of it. We'll see how it goes.
Are you AttackTheBase? Your name looks very familiar. Maybe it's because you changed your GAF name.
This thread makes for horribly depressive reading for me. Every day i try and send out 10 messages and every day i have ZERO replies. About 1/3 actually take the time to look at my profile but they never reply either.
I really don't know where im going wrong. I don't think my profile is bad, i even made a fake profile using a picture of a semi famous actor and it gets loads of messages, most not even realising who the picture is. They all mention the profile in some way and say its really good but i know they're messaging because of the picture.
Im not an ugly guy, but i can't figure out why im putting so much effort in and getting zero back out. Each message i send is unique, most of the time its tough going because what can you put when all a girl has put on her profile is:
'I like going out with friends, but i also like staying in with a comfy DVD. I love my family and i love travelling. Im kind and caring, shy at first but i'll open up quickly. Anything else just ask!'
I mean seriously, how dull can a person be but 90% of girls profiles have that. No talk about their hobbies or interests, just the most generic shit. If im lucky they mention hobbies or interests i talk about them, ask a question or two but don't go on for pages. Just a paragraph or so.
Maybe i am just an ugly git and everyone on these sites in my area are just horribly shallow. I read how some of you are juggling 3 or 4 girls, i can't even get a reply and its really starting to get me down and start hating people. Its not that hard to reply, especially when i've put the effort in. I really don't know where im going wrong
Like the same thing I've been doing with applying for internships, you must keep grinding; someone's bound to reply. Don't get discouraged man and don't take it personally if a chick doesn't reply. She's probably flooded with other dudes' messages but at least she had the decency to give your profile a quick look-see. So don't make such a big deal about it. If you really want to then try sending one of the many cooker cutter messages people have posted in this thread.
And this is more of a general question to you all, but do you guys all hit every woman that has visited your profile (besides the ones that viewed your profle after sending them a message)? I have 150 visitors; most which have simply viewed my profile so I've yet to hit them up.
I enjoy dating women who are slightly introverted. I never feel the compulsion of simply blabbering on about nothing. But, this consign of me being a slight introvert myself.
Yes indeedy. AttackTheBase was my old Gaf name a few years back.
Also depends on the woman, if I find the girl cute, and I like her profile, I'll send her a message. If I don't find her cute, or her profile really puts me off, I ignore said person.
This thread makes for horribly depressive reading for me. Every day i try and send out 10 messages and every day i have ZERO replies. About 1/3 actually take the time to look at my profile but they never reply either.
I really don't know where im going wrong. I don't think my profile is bad, i even made a fake profile using a picture of a semi famous actor and it gets loads of messages, most not even realising who the picture is. They all mention the profile in some way and say its really good but i know they're messaging because of the picture.
Im not an ugly guy, but i can't figure out why im putting so much effort in and getting zero back out. Each message i send is unique, most of the time its tough going because what can you put when all a girl has put on her profile is:
'I like going out with friends, but i also like staying in with a comfy DVD. I love my family and i love travelling. Im kind and caring, shy at first but i'll open up quickly. Anything else just ask!'
I mean seriously, how dull can a person be but 90% of girls profiles have that. No talk about their hobbies or interests, just the most generic shit. If im lucky they mention hobbies or interests i talk about them, ask a question or two but don't go on for pages. Just a paragraph or so.
Maybe i am just an ugly git and everyone on these sites in my area are just horribly shallow. I read how some of you are juggling 3 or 4 girls, i can't even get a reply and its really starting to get me down and start hating people. Its not that hard to reply, especially when i've put the effort in. I really don't know where im going wrong
A lot of women don't reply back because of the flood of messages they receive. Too much of a time-sink.
Some of the posters have touched upon this, but be funny in your message. Plus, feel good if they check out your profile. This means your message was good, but something didn't click with them when they saw your profile.
Some weeks will be simply awful when it comes to messages. I have had weeks where I have juggled three women at once, and other weeks where I got nothing. Don't let it put you down!
stn
Member
^ I tend to message most girls just so I can at least talk, lol. I actually have a legitimate interest in random conversation, it can be fun. The ones I actually have physical interest in I just give a different kind of effort. According to the site I get 150 views a week.
Spunky Monkey - I would re-write you profile. Throw in some jokes, throw in a bit of playfulness and flirting. Take out the part about being shy and caring. For example, in my "message if..." section I have: "...If you want to play games. I never lose at those." Suggesting that I'm down to play "the game" if necessary and that I'm confident.
Within that I also have a few interests of mine and a bit of mystery. In my "About Me" I have "I'm European (can you guess where from?)". Gives them an ice-breaker. Not to mention I get a bunch of messages with girls guessing where I'm from, lol.
It gives a bit of a playfulness to what will otherwise be a very redundant experience. Most people write the same stuff, more or less.
Spunky Monkey - I would re-write you profile. Throw in some jokes, throw in a bit of playfulness and flirting. Take out the part about being shy and caring. For example, in my "message if..." section I have: "...If you want to play games. I never lose at those.
" Suggesting that I'm down to play "the game" if necessary and that I'm confident. Within that I also have a few interests of mine and a bit of mystery. In my "About Me" I have "I'm European (can you guess where from?)". Gives them an ice-breaker. Not to mention I get a bunch of messages with girls guessing where I'm from, lol.
It gives a bit of a playfulness to what will otherwise be a very redundant experience. Most people write the same stuff, more or less.
dutchguyjack
Member
I would also suggest using a different picture - blurry doesn't work. Also I'd remove the picture of your dog - the girls are there to look at you, not your pet.
Avon Barksdale
Member
I just started a profile.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
grap3fruitman
Banned
electricshake
Member
Still not willing to share your profile with us?
WascallyWabbit
Member
I disagree, girls love animal lovers. I'm all for pictures of you and your dog. If it's JUST your dog, then change it
dutchguyjack
Member
I agree that that's fine. He had a picture of just his dog, which is what I meant by they're there to look at you, not your dog. It's good if you have a picture of you with animals.
WascallyWabbit
Member
well he should definitely take that down since it's against the rules and prob will get flagged anyways
This thread makes for horribly depressive reading for me. Every day i try and send out 10 messages and every day i have ZERO replies. About 1/3 actually take the time to look at my profile but they never reply either.
I really don't know where im going wrong. I don't think my profile is bad, i even made a fake profile using a picture of a semi famous actor and it gets loads of messages, most not even realising who the picture is. They all mention the profile in some way and say its really good but i know they're messaging because of the picture.
Im not an ugly guy, but i can't figure out why im putting so much effort in and getting zero back out. Each message i send is unique, most of the time its tough going because what can you put when all a girl has put on her profile is:
'I like going out with friends, but i also like staying in with a comfy DVD. I love my family and i love travelling. Im kind and caring, shy at first but i'll open up quickly. Anything else just ask!'
I mean seriously, how dull can a person be but 90% of girls profiles have that. No talk about their hobbies or interests, just the most generic shit. If im lucky they mention hobbies or interests i talk about them, ask a question or two but don't go on for pages. Just a paragraph or so.
Maybe i am just an ugly git and everyone on these sites in my area are just horribly shallow. I read how some of you are juggling 3 or 4 girls, i can't even get a reply and its really starting to get me down and start hating people. Its not that hard to reply, especially when i've put the effort in. I really don't know where im going wrong
These be strange times, people don't care about depth, even though they expound such non-sense. OKc is a game through and through, you either have the wherewithal to play by the communities rules, or you don't. It's shallow, it superficial, but these are the key rules you have to play by for a win-win.
So if you have a conversation going then it eventually dies because the girl doesn't reply - do you just leave it dead or do you try to revive it after X amount of time? Also in my experience it helps if you set your expectations to 0, and let your inner funny out without trying to be funny.
Well I got turned down for asking for the number too soon (4th exchange I believe) since I was still a stranger. I deleted the conversation thread. No sweat off my back; there's plenty of fish in the sea.
In regards to getting the number after 4-5 exchanges, it's very YMMV. Some chicks will give to you after that amount, others will after several exchanges going by my last successful exchanges of messages which was over a year ago. I'm no online dating expert, but there needs to be a certain level of comfort established before exchanging numbers.
Again, it's very YMMV since I remember this older woman hit me up once over a year ago and looks like she wanted to meet soon. I replied several hours later, but she didn't reply back. Her interest plummeted.
In regards to getting the number after 4-5 exchanges, it's very YMMV. Some chicks will give to you after that amount, others will after several exchanges going by my last successful exchanges of messages which was over a year ago. I'm no online dating expert, but there needs to be a certain level of comfort established before exchanging numbers.
Again, it's very YMMV since I remember this older woman hit me up once over a year ago and looks like she wanted to meet soon. I replied several hours later, but she didn't reply back. Her interest plummeted.
I have to slightly disagree. I have been on both sides: I stopped replying but would have resumed had I received a follow up question. Why did I stop? Priorities shifted from writing to talking
And just today I had an follow up answered where she suggested we meet in person.
Granted, that might change between her writing and reading my reply, but still. The basic premise is: It can work. At least to some degree.
People are busy, people get involved with someone else and don't have interest in writing someone but those things can change too.
There's nothing to lose by trying to revive a conversation after some months. Worst thing? You still don't get a reply.
If your follow up does not come across badly, I don't think you could kill off any residual interest of hers.
stn
Member
Hm, fair enough. My experience has been that I stop when the girl stops. Mostly they've come back, even weeks later, to ask how I am. At that point I really don't care anymore. Currently I was dealing with one girl who I talked to for a while, then she left. Then she came back so we talked more. I asked her for a coffee, she dodged it. So, we talked more (apparently that's what she wanted).I have to slightly disagree. I have been on both sides: I stopped replying but would have resumed had I received a follow up question. Why did I stop? Priorities shifted from writing to talking
Then, suddenly, she started insisting I send her pics. I have ONE pic but its very good. Anyway, I assume she either doesn't believe I'm the guy in the pic OR she needs some reassurance before coming to meet me. I actually made up a complete lie about why I couldn't provide more pics, just because I don't want to.
I was kind of hoping she'd want to meet just because we were having great conversation for a long-ass time, but hey. If I wanted to attract women just on my looks I'd go to smelly clubs. Either way, I'm dropping her. Its a leap of faith for as much as it is for her.
Why did I even mention all this? Who knows...
Agreed, it's super YMMV.
I've had 5-6 messages with a girl that I thought were going well. I offered my phone number thinking "pfft, she'll certainly accept it at this point" and she replied with "umm I like to chat on the website for a while first, sorry!" then she disappeared.
I even had one girl I messaged for a week straight, and I simply just ASKED if she'd be comfortable with us moving to texting/phone - she then just stopped replying lol...major WTF moment.
Then, you have the current girl I'm seeing. We exchanged 3 lengthy messages, and SHE just gave me her number on the 3rd one saying it's easier to talk/text on the phone. lol
dutchguyjack
Member
Okay guys, time for some opinions. I revised my profile as I'm trying to make it a little different from the norm, to showcase a bit more who I am rather than senselessly listing a bunch of superficial qualities, yet leave out enough to keep people guessing.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/dutchguyjack
Don't mind the pictures too much at the moment. Comments on them will still be appreciated, but it's mainly the content that I'm looking at at the moment. I know I haven't filled in every section, but I don't feel the need to do so.
Edit: I'll rate anyone who visits my profile. Thanks to those that return the favor
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/dutchguyjack
Don't mind the pictures too much at the moment. Comments on them will still be appreciated, but it's mainly the content that I'm looking at at the moment. I know I haven't filled in every section, but I don't feel the need to do so.
Edit: I'll rate anyone who visits my profile. Thanks to those that return the favor
TheApatheticOne
Member
Yep, every girl is a game, and the rules are different every time. One misstep, and they'll look at one of the other 30-40 messages, or taps or winks or whatever they're called that they received just that day.
I'll keep with it, but may take a break here soon, like a boss in a game that's giving you trouble. I get 2 messages or replies a day roughly. Girls that message me out of the blue I'm rarely interested in. I seem to have cornered the 3+ kids, no/poor job, 300 lbs female James Franco with a Burt Reynolds mustache market. Then the replies I get from girls I initiated contact with are so dull usually. It could be quite a bit of text, but it all equates to "how about this weather?" type stuff.
I just wish I could meet Anna Kendrick and date her. Is that too much to ask life?!
SirButterstick
Banned
So I went on my first OKCupid date last night. Within 5 minutes of meeting her at her apartment, I was getting a blowjob. Is this what I should expect? The date went horribly after that, she had absolutely nothing at all to say except for 'yeah . . . . '
'Hello nice to meet you blowjobs' are nice and all, but I was actually a bit disappointed. We were chatting for a long time beforehand, and it seemed like she was really cool. I want a little substance, you know? I mean, I'm a bit older (in my 30s), so the 'bootie call' game is played and done. Man, it seems like there's a lot of weird, damaged, fucked up people out there.
'Hello nice to meet you blowjobs' are nice and all, but I was actually a bit disappointed. We were chatting for a long time beforehand, and it seemed like she was really cool. I want a little substance, you know? I mean, I'm a bit older (in my 30s), so the 'bootie call' game is played and done. Man, it seems like there's a lot of weird, damaged, fucked up people out there.
Jzero
Member
Totally agree. The more i go on the site the more everyone looks crazy.
jamesinclair
Banned
Ill take her number
Cow Mengde
Banned
You sure it's not just your town? The biggest crime I've seen so far are people being boring and too same-y. I mean, I'm sure there are crazies there, but not that common where I am.
Jzero
Member
I live in the Los Angeles area and there are a lot of weird people.
Cow Mengde
Banned
How crazy though? Like give us more on why you think they're crazy. In NYC our women are just want to travel, came from another state, and came from another state and likes to travel.
SirButterstick
Banned
Ha ha if you're in NY PM me and I shall point you in the right direction, good sir.
Let me clear up my 'vibe' too. I f she was cool and could have a conversation, I would have no problem making it a regular booty call. But there was just nothing to her. Her apartment was vacant, no decorations, not a lot of 'stuff' in it. It was . . . really, really fucking weird.
PaleFolklore
Member
Hey GAF I need advice.
I met a girl on OKCupid in early March. She finished school last year and still has no job. She has nearly $200,000 in student loans that she has deferred. In that time she hasn't even found a part time job to bring in a little money. She lives off her mothers disability who has kidney issues and has to be on dialysis regularly. Her mother is now in the hospital in a coma(I'm not too sure what the circumstances are I haven't really had a chance to ask as she isn't really keen to talk to anyone right now) and they don't know whether she is going to come out of it or not(she seems to be hinting that they are going to take her off support after a certain amount of time).
We get along fairly well and she is pretty fun to be around. I don't really feel much of a connection with her though. I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to be an asshole and leave her while her mom is the way she is but I don't really see this going anywhere and don't know how long the situation she is in could last.
What do I do?
I met a girl on OKCupid in early March. She finished school last year and still has no job. She has nearly $200,000 in student loans that she has deferred. In that time she hasn't even found a part time job to bring in a little money. She lives off her mothers disability who has kidney issues and has to be on dialysis regularly. Her mother is now in the hospital in a coma(I'm not too sure what the circumstances are I haven't really had a chance to ask as she isn't really keen to talk to anyone right now) and they don't know whether she is going to come out of it or not(she seems to be hinting that they are going to take her off support after a certain amount of time).
We get along fairly well and she is pretty fun to be around. I don't really feel much of a connection with her though. I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to be an asshole and leave her while her mom is the way she is but I don't really see this going anywhere and don't know how long the situation she is in could last.
What do I do?
Fake your death.
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