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[Smiley90]

You know what drives me nuts? I'm getting a lot of girls who have rated me highly but I can't see who they are. I assume that they've already messaged me anyway. Still though...

That's what A-list is for... Also I wouldn't count on them having messages you. None of the girls that rated me have, e.g. (Also the general "girls don't message first usually" note)

 

[stn]

Valid point, Smiley. Question: any of you have experience with people using fake accounts towards you? I have a small situation and I'm not even certain if its fake, just a minor hunch.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Valid point, Smiley. Question: any of you have experience with people using fake accounts towards you? I have a small situation and I'm not even certain if its fake, just a minor hunch.

Try to reverse search their pictures.

 

[stn]

You are so wise. Image search revealed its a fake profile. Should I report it?

EDIT: What happens if I make her a "hidden user"? Can she no longer see my profile? What if I block her? Same result?

 

[Cow Mengde]

You are so wise. Image search revealed its a fake profile. Should I report it?

EDIT: What happens if I make her a "hidden user"? Can she no longer see my profile? What if I block her? Same result?

Yeah, report it. I'm always very careful when it comes to these things. I think I found a fake profile too.

Not sure about your second question.

 

[Smiley90]

You are so wise. Image search revealed its a fake profile. Should I report it?

EDIT: What happens if I make her a "hidden user"? Can she no longer see my profile? What if I block her? Same result?

Hiding = they don't show up in your matches (and you in theirs) anymore (but they CAN still visit your profile if they e.g. Type in the url directly, google it, or have it stored e.g. Under star-rated or messaged), blocking = they can't message you anymore

 

[rugioh]

And how would I go about setting that up without being able to contact her? Unless you're talking about having an actual conversation over messages which then I could understand. Should I give it another day and try to contact her again?

Well I mean I would click the meet up button as well and try to message her again and get her number or set up a date.

 

[dutchguyjack]

Okay so things are taking an interesting turn. I messaged this girl and she's viewed my profile several times since. Now I suddenly get a message back from her that refers to her sizable twins. That's followed by a message that apologizes, and states that it was her friend who sent the initial message.

I suppose I can take a few things out of this lol.

 

[TheApatheticOne]

Kinda had me first weird "thing" for lack of a better term (or one that I can come up with at this moment).

Message this girl, pretty hot. We start talking, and we message pretty big messages 2-3 times a day every day for almost a week. Unlike conversations Im having with other girls, she seemed to be able to joke, take a joke, into a ton of stuff, very intelligent, driven, passionate about her hobbies, etc. Messaging her was incredibly easy, where sending stuff to other girls ranges from unsmooth to dental surgery.

And then 3 days ago.... nothing since. Not terribly disappointed, but probably the best Ive felt about someone since Ive started going this. Girls....

 

[dralla]

Kinda had me first weird "thing" for lack of a better term (or one that I can come up with at this moment).

Message this girl, pretty hot. We start talking, and we message pretty big messages 2-3 times a day every day for almost a week. Unlike conversations Im having with other girls, she seemed to be able to joke, take a joke, into a ton of stuff, very intelligent, driven, passionate about her hobbies, etc. Messaging her was incredibly easy, where sending stuff to other girls ranges from unsmooth to dental surgery.

And then 3 days ago.... nothing since. Not terribly disappointed, but probably the best Ive felt about someone since Ive started going this. Girls....

You took way too long. Get their number after 4-5 messages.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Kinda had me first weird "thing" for lack of a better term (or one that I can come up with at this moment).

Message this girl, pretty hot. We start talking, and we message pretty big messages 2-3 times a day every day for almost a week. Unlike conversations Im having with other girls, she seemed to be able to joke, take a joke, into a ton of stuff, very intelligent, driven, passionate about her hobbies, etc. Messaging her was incredibly easy, where sending stuff to other girls ranges from unsmooth to dental surgery.

And then 3 days ago.... nothing since. Not terribly disappointed, but probably the best Ive felt about someone since Ive started going this. Girls....

Why didn't this move to a meet within the first two days?

 

[bitoriginal]

I joined a dating website about a year ago, and met two nice girls who I dated over the course of a year. I messaged quite a few girls and nearly always got replies.

Fast forward a year later and I'm literally getting zero responses. I can't work out if shit's changed or I'm just coming across as some kind of retard. I'm putting effort into the messages, they're usually pretty funny and charming (imo) and still don't seem to be getting much response. Sucks.

 

[-PXG-]

Ive probably had too much to drink but whatever.......

I love my gf but sometimes I wish I had a thing or two...or five... On the side. I would NEVER cheat (that's fucked up) but a different flavor here and there wouldn't hurt. I love women. The older I get the more I realize this.

Today, I started flirting with a waitress at lunch. I couldn't help it. I just love interacting with females. Maybe its because I'm making up for lost time. Or I'm just a horn dog who wants to get his noodle wet. I don't know.

She knows this. All my girls in the past knew this. Shit.....

Edit

I'm on POF and OKC (I have accounts I mean). GRRRRR. I just wanna hit honies up and just talk. But I know myself too well. I charm them and then bam......we meetup and then shit happens. And then I'll be like...oh fuck....I cheated. I can't do it. But hell GAF... What do I do. I need a fucking harim or some shit. I can't take it

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Ive probably had too much to drink but whatever.......

I love my gf but sometimes I wish I had a thing or two...or five... On the side. I would NEVER cheat (that's fucked up) but a different flavor here and there wouldn't hurt. I love women. The older I get the more I realize this.

Today, I started flirting with a waitress at lunch. I couldn't help it. I just love interacting with females. Maybe its because I'm making up for lost time. Or I'm just a horn dog who wants to get his noodle wet. I don't know.

She knows this. All my girls in the past knew this. Shit.....

Edit

I'm on POF and OKC (I have accounts I mean). GRRRRR. I just wanna hit honies up and just talk. But I know myself too well. I charm them and then bam......we meetup and then shit happens. And then I'll be like...oh fuck....I cheated. I can't do it. But hell GAF... What do I do. I need a fucking harim or some shit. I can't take it

be a fucking man and break up with your girlfriend. Obviously you're not ready to settle into a committed relationship, no matter how much you think you love her, the timing isn't right.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Ive probably had too much to drink but whatever.......

I love my gf but sometimes I wish I had a thing or two...or five... On the side. I would NEVER cheat (that's fucked up) but a different flavor here and there wouldn't hurt. I love women. The older I get the more I realize this.

Today, I started flirting with a waitress at lunch. I couldn't help it. I just love interacting with females. Maybe its because I'm making up for lost time. Or I'm just a horn dog who wants to get his noodle wet. I don't know.

She knows this. All my girls in the past knew this. Shit.....

Edit

I'm on POF and OKC (I have accounts I mean). GRRRRR. I just wanna hit honies up and just talk. But I know myself too well. I charm them and then bam......we meetup and then shit happens. And then I'll be like...oh fuck....I cheated. I can't do it. But hell GAF... What do I do. I need a fucking harim or some shit. I can't take it

I thought you broke up with her. What the hell.

Edit: Ha, saw your other post. At least you recognize the simping! Good luck.

 

[Devolution]

Ive probably had too much to drink but whatever.......

I love my gf but sometimes I wish I had a thing or two...or five... On the side. I would NEVER cheat (that's fucked up) but a different flavor here and there wouldn't hurt. I love women. The older I get the more I realize this.

Today, I started flirting with a waitress at lunch. I couldn't help it. I just love interacting with females. Maybe its because I'm making up for lost time. Or I'm just a horn dog who wants to get his noodle wet. I don't know.

She knows this. All my girls in the past knew this. Shit.....

Edit

I'm on POF and OKC (I have accounts I mean). GRRRRR. I just wanna hit honies up and just talk. But I know myself too well. I charm them and then bam......we meetup and then shit happens. And then I'll be like...oh fuck....I cheated. I can't do it. But hell GAF... What do I do. I need a fucking harim or some shit. I can't take it

Admit you're not ready to commit to one person and either get her to agree to an open relationship or break up.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

OK so here's an interesting story:
I meet a girl on here and we get along great. Start texting and even agree to set up a meet this weekend (I think it was like Wednesday)
Text her last night to confirm and no response. I wake up this morning and she sent me a response that says: "Hey I just don't see you in a romantic way, I'm sorry but I just wanted to be as straightforward as possible."

While I understand that happens, I don't get why you'd set up a date then say that before you've ever even met the person. *shrug* feelsbadman

 

[stn]

Some girls go there for the fantasy of just talking and "almost" hooking up. They think they want to meet someone but then they back out and go back into their comfort zone. I can understand a girl being hesitant, what with it being online and all, but your situation is just weird.

You're better off for it, however. The girl you were messaging with has no clue what she wants. Who said anything about romance when she didn't even meet you yet? lol...

 

[dutchguyjack]

OK so here's an interesting story:
I meet a girl on here and we get along great. Start texting and even agree to set up a meet this weekend (I think it was like Wednesday)
Text her last night to confirm and no response. I wake up this morning and she sent me a response that says: "Hey I just don't see you in a romantic way, I'm sorry but I just wanted to be as straightforward as possible."

While I understand that happens, I don't get why you'd set up a date then say that before you've ever even met the person. *shrug* feelsbadman

I don't get that lol. How on earth would you be able to tell if you see someone in a romantic way without ever meeting them?

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Some girls go there for the fantasy of just talking and "almost" hooking up. They think they want to meet someone but then they back out and go back into their comfort zone. I can understand a girl being hesitant, what with it being online and all, but your situation is just weird.

You're better off for it, however. The girl you were messaging with has no clue what she wants. Who said anything about romance when she didn't even meet you yet? lol...

I don't get that lol. How on earth would you be able to tell if you see someone in a romantic way without ever meeting them?

Confusing stuff, right? Oh well, that's life on these dating sites.

 

[grap3fruitman]

Do you guys seriously get responses? I don't know why these things are called "dating" sites, they should be called "your attempts go right into a blackhole and nothing ever comes back" sites.

 

[dutchguyjack]

Do you guys seriously get responses? I don't know why these things are called "dating" sites, they should be called "your attempts go right into a blackhole and nothing ever comes back" sites.

Spend some time sending messages to lots of girls, even if you aren't that interested in them. Keep them short and modify them, figure out what works and what doesn't.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Do you guys seriously get responses? I don't know why these things are called "dating" sites, they should be called "your attempts go right into a blackhole and nothing ever comes back" sites.

If it's not happening for you, maybe you should take some time off. These things have such a high turnover, within a month you'll find so many new people.

And when you do come back, browse on this thread ant the dating OT for tips on how to construct an attractive profile

 

[Ashodin]

OK so here's an interesting story:
I meet a girl on here and we get along great. Start texting and even agree to set up a meet this weekend (I think it was like Wednesday)
Text her last night to confirm and no response. I wake up this morning and she sent me a response that says: "Hey I just don't see you in a romantic way, I'm sorry but I just wanted to be as straightforward as possible."

While I understand that happens, I don't get why you'd set up a date then say that before you've ever even met the person. *shrug* feelsbadman

Probably multiple people she was responding to, you set stuff up, other guy set stuff up, she chose the other guy to go after first. Most likely.

 

[False Witness]

Well, I've been flaked out on twice now by the same girl and I'm finally done. I have to say though, I'm definitely relieved. I always end up getting involved with someone around finals and end up stressing myself out tremendously. I usually end up hating the time I spend out with the opposite happening for the people I go out with. I'm good with people, but I can't say I particularly enjoy it.

It's always with crazy girls too. I got a 'booty' call from this girl earlier in the week, but had too much shit to do. Oh well, it is what it is.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Well, I've been flaked out on twice now by the same girl and I'm finally done. I have to say though, I'm definitely relieved. I always end up getting involved with someone around finals and end up stressing myself out tremendously. I usually end up hating the time I spend out with the opposite happening for the people I go out with. I'm good with people, but I can't say I particularly enjoy it.

It's always with crazy girls too. I got a 'booty' call from this girl earlier in the week, but had too much shit to do. Oh well, it is what it is.

I finally admitted to my friends that I have a thing for crazy girls, just embrace it

 

[Cow Mengde]

Spend some time sending messages to lots of girls, even if you aren't that interested in them. Keep them short and modify them, figure out what works and what doesn't.

Yeah, you gotta send a lot. Once you get it down, things will start to move smoother.

 

[Jhoan]

Ok so in my inebriated state, I've hit up several women using the famous pizza or sushi line ad nauseam. Zero fucks given.

 

[WalkMan]

I feel like the girls on POF are a lot better looking than the ones on okcupid, also helps that they seem to be more communicative. Just my experience

 

[Bad7667]

Ok so in my inebriated state, I've hit up several women using the famous pizza or sushi line ad nauseam. Zero fucks given.

Hey man, at least you tried. I made a profile on POF and couldn't get enough courage to message one girl before deleting.

I don't really know why I made the profile to begin with, as I don't really want a relationship. I guess I feel if I don't at least try to date now and get some dating experience, when I actually want to date it's going to look bad at my age. Hell, it looks bad now at my current age of 23 having zero experience in dating. Last GF was grade 9, which lasted a couple weeks.

My biggest hurdle is my self esteem. It's really bad. I have a hard time seeing how someone could find me attractive. I am working on it though, so hopefully I can try again soon.

 

[Slizeezyc]

Is it weird if POF says this?

"We do not allow signups from this IP range, sorry."

What's the deal there? I've never even been on the site before.

 

[Surface of Me]

I feel like the girls on POF are a lot better looking than the ones on okcupid, also helps that they seem to be more communicative. Just my experience

I have the opposite experience in the former, and girls on both sites don't seem to want to reply to me. A girl I messaged tonight did respond to me though and we had a nice back and forth.

 

[stn]

I've found that the girls might look slightly better overall on PoF than OKC, but I've had better looking girls approach me on OKC. Also, OKC has MUCH more intelligent girls who can hold conversations. I've fallen victim to some pretty shallow people on PoF, lol.

 

[MR BLACKMAGIK]

Just came back from the 4(?) date with a girl I met a while ago on OKC. We've been texting a lot recently and the date was ok. It's just hard for me to tell what she's thinking. In term of me I mean. I figure she likes me as a friend at least or why keep talking and going out? But I can't tell if she wants it to stay at friends or be more. Advice?

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Just came back from the 4(?) date with a girl I met a while ago on OKC. We've been texting a lot recently and the date was ok. It's just hard for me to tell what she's thinking. In term of me I mean. I figure she likes me as a friend at least or why keep talking and going out? But I can't tell if she wants it to stay at friends or be more. Advice?

If you haven't been touching faces by the 4th date, you already know your answer.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

If you haven't been sucking faces by the 4th date, you already know your answer.

I corrected that for you

 

[MR BLACKMAGIK]

Yeah but I'm not a real "pushy" kind of guy. She doesn't seem that way either. So it's hard for me to tell if we're both just shy, or she just wants to be friends.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Yeah but I'm not a real "pushy" kind of guy.

Going for a kiss on a 4th date isn't pushy. It's already being super late, even for a shy person.

 

[UFRA]

Going for a kiss on a 4th date isn't pushy. It's already being super late, even for a shy person.

Yup, you need to go for it dude, or pretty soon it will be a friend thing only.

 

[False Witness]

Well, I've been flaked out on twice now by the same girl and I'm finally done.

... or am I?

Freaking women, first she cancels our plans for the day and now she wants to hang out again after I've already settled into finishing some school crap.

 

[dutchguyjack]

... or am I?

Freaking women, first she cancels our plans for the day and now she wants to hang out again after I've already settled into finishing some school crap.

Well finish your school things. Don't change your planning for her unless she's done something to earn it, and if she has been flaking on you, I don't think she has.

 

[MR BLACKMAGIK]

Ugh fine. It's just when I first started talking to her she did SAY she wanted to just be friends. My thing is I don't know if she's changed her mind or not. But fuck it, I'll just be straight with her. If she just wants to be friends then ok. But I don't think she's going to make any sign one way or the other unless I do.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Ugh fine. It's just when I first started talking to her she did SAY she wanted to just be friends. My thing is I don't know if she's changed her mind or not. But fuck it, I'll just be straight with her. If she just wants to be friends then ok. But I don't think she's going to make any sign one way or the other unless I do.

If a girl wants you, you'll know. Going by her inaction and her saying that, she really does just want to be friends.

 

[UFRA]

Ugh fine. It's just when I first started talking to her she did SAY she wanted to just be friends. My thing is I don't know if she's changed her mind or not. But fuck it, I'll just be straight with her. If she just wants to be friends then ok. But I don't think she's going to make any sign one way or the other unless I do.

If a girl wants you, you'll know. Going by her inaction and her saying that, she really does just want to be friends.

Agreed, the above post does kinda change everything if she actually said that.

 

[MR BLACKMAGIK]

Nope. I'm going with my gut on this one. Thanks for the advice, I'm just going to be a bit more aggressive and I think she'll come around. Plus she said that when we first talked on okc, that was a long time ago.

 

[Jhoan]

Well I managed to get one reply back. It was pizza. Now do I turn that into a conversation guys? I suppose I should dig through her profile and ask her something from there.

Edit: Never mind. I continued along that line. She's 19 but she's pretty. I did something right while I was drunk.

 

[UFRA]

Well I managed to get one reply back. It was pizza. Now do I turn that into a conversation guys? I suppose I should dig through her profile and ask her something from there.

If you like pizza also, I'd affirm her choice by agreeing and elaborating with no more than one sentence on why you agree and make it funny if you can.

Then, add that you noticed something on her profile you liked or share an interest with and ask a question about it.

This is the bad thing about those simple questions that I don't like. It provokes a one word answer, which is tricky to get momentum going with. But as long as you quickly move on to a more involved subject, it can work.

I never tried pizza or sushi, but I used the "which superpower would you want: invisibility or flight" question and that has worked, but with similar one word results lol.

Edit: Damnit Jipan, I'm always late to help. lol

 

[Jhoan]

If you like pizza also, I'd affirm her choice by agreeing and elaborating with no more than one sentence on why you agree and make it funny if you can.

Then, add that you noticed something on her profile you liked or share an interest with and ask a question about it.

This is the bad thing about those simple questions that I don't like. It provokes a one word answer, which is tricky to get momentum going with. But as long as you quickly move on to a more involved subject, it can work.

I never tried pizza or sushi, but I used the "which superpower would you want: invisibility or flight" question and that has worked, but with similar one word results lol.

Edit: Damnit Jipan, I'm always late to help. lol

Lmao! That's the magic the Okcupid app. Well I got a reply back so she's definitely interested. But I'll definitely change the subject and ask her about herself. I'll use the above line on several women and get back to you. My only concern with her being 19 is that I have to rule out going to bars which kind of sucks. I'm probably overthinking about it though because there's tons of alternate ideas.


Edit: Got another reply from another girl asking her a question related to super hero stuff. Since it's a one word reply, I know what to do now.

 

[Mushroomer25]

Is it normal to feel like shit after turning somebody down? I got a message from a girl whose profile I've come across once or twice (We're a "91% match" according to OKC). I read through her profile, looked at some pictures - and just decided not to do anything. I wasn't attracted to her personality, and with three midterms this week - I just don't feel like pursuing somebody who I get the sense that I won't really get along with. (Piling onto this whole mess, I had a terrible, awkward date with a girl a few weeks ago - which has now soured me to messaging anybody who labels themselves as "introverted".)

Yet I feel like a douche for doing it. Because I know the balls it takes to send somebody a message out of the blue, and I know it hurts to not get anything back.


Side-note : I got an email about a week ago saying that OkCupid has labeled me as "Hot", altering which girls I'll see on the service. Is this an actual thing, or were they just trying to rope me back in after a period of inactivity? (I've been less frequent since the afformentioned date).

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

The hot thing is real, and you shouldn't feel bad for ignoring someone. That's the best rejection possible, and it happens to everyone a lot anyway.