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[WalkMan]

So a girl I'm interested in never replied to my message after initiating. Think I'll go ahead and do a "retread" later today and just attribute it to her getting tons of messages.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Ha ha if you're in NY PM me and I shall point you in the right direction, good sir.

Let me clear up my 'vibe' too. I f she was cool and could have a conversation, I would have no problem making it a regular booty call. But there was just nothing to her. Her apartment was vacant, no decorations, not a lot of 'stuff' in it. It was . . . really, really fucking weird.

I'm from NY. I'll gladly take her off your hands

Spoiler

if I was some insanely stupid desperate fool.

At least you're still alive.

 

[bjb]

Hey GAF I need advice.

I met a girl on OKCupid in early March. She finished school last year and still has no job. She has nearly $200,000 in student loans that she has deferred. In that time she hasn't even found a part time job to bring in a little money. She lives off her mothers disability who has kidney issues and has to be on dialysis regularly. Her mother is now in the hospital in a coma(I'm not too sure what the circumstances are I haven't really had a chance to ask as she isn't really keen to talk to anyone right now) and they don't know whether she is going to come out of it or not(she seems to be hinting that they are going to take her off support after a certain amount of time).

We get along fairly well and she is pretty fun to be around. I don't really feel much of a connection with her though. I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't want to be an asshole and leave her while her mom is the way she is but I don't really see this going anywhere and don't know how long the situation she is in could last.

What do I do?

Admit that you're gay and have been living a lie. Might need an 'actor' off craigslist to help complete the deception.

 

[Spunky Monkey]

A lot of women don't reply back because of the flood of messages they receive. Too much of a time-sink.

Some of the posters have touched upon this, but be funny in your message. Plus, feel good if they check out your profile. This means your message was good, but something didn't click with them when they saw your profile.

Some weeks will be simply awful when it comes to messages. I have had weeks where I have juggled three women at once, and other weeks where I got nothing. Don't let it put you down!

Oh yeah i get some are just on it for the ego boost or im not what they want but out of 300 messages sent i've had 3 replies in total. That sounds really bad to me, back in 2008 on myspace i used to get loads of replies so either the world has changed or im doing something wrong.

I really don't know how to be funny in a message without sound stupid or lame and its even harder to be funny when their profile is so dull or empty.

Spunky Monkey - I would re-write you profile. Throw in some jokes, throw in a bit of playfulness and flirting. Take out the part about being shy and caring. For example, in my "message if..." section I have: "...If you want to play games. I never lose at those. " Suggesting that I'm down to play "the game" if necessary and that I'm confident.

Within that I also have a few interests of mine and a bit of mystery. In my "About Me" I have "I'm European (can you guess where from?)". Gives them an ice-breaker. Not to mention I get a bunch of messages with girls guessing where I'm from, lol.

It gives a bit of a playfulness to what will otherwise be a very redundant experience. Most people write the same stuff, more or less.

Ah sorry, thats not my profile, thats a typical girls profile in my area. Don't worry mine is very positive and doesnt mention shy or caring, mainly cos im not shy and no one really cares if you're caring. I'd say my profile is quite playful but maybe i'll rewrite it again, although i don't think the profile is the problem, its either my looks (im not *THAT* ugly...i think) or my messages.

These be strange times, people don't care about depth, even though they expound such non-sense. OKc is a game through and through, you either have the wherewithal to play by the communities rules, or you don't. It's shallow, it superficial, but these are the key rules you have to play by for a win-win.

So what are the rules then? Cos so far i can't figure out what generates a reply except for to be so good looking you shouldn't even be on one of these sites.

 

[Necrovex]

Admit that you're gay and have been living a lie. Might need an 'actor' off craigslist to help complete the deception.

If he gives me a month or two to grow my hair back out, and when I recolor it, I'll be said actor for him. I had a ton of people assume I'm gay because of the feminine attributes and appearance (I look super adorable with long hair).

 

[beanman25]

First time I've sent a girl my #. We've been texting all day, and will be watching the hockey game together Saturday. Pretty excited!!

 

[Bossun]

Dato tomorrow at 6pm.

I don't even know what she looks like exactly, she had 1 picture. She seems rather cute, quite tall and thin is what she said.
We talked for a few days via texts.

I'm excited, maybe a bit too much, I might be disappointed if she is weird, because we truly go along pretty nicely and she's almost perfect.

Also 6p.m is quite early, I don't know what it means..

 

[WascallyWabbit]

First time I've sent a girl my #. We've been texting all day, and will be watching the hockey game together Saturday. Pretty excited!!

Dato tomorrow at 6pm.

I don't even know what she looks like exactly, she had 1 picture. She seems rather cute, quite tall and thin is what she said.
We talked for a few days via texts.

I'm excited, maybe a bit too much, I might be disappointed if she is weird, because we truly go along pretty nicely and she's almost perfect.

Also 6p.m is quite early, I don't know what it means..

Nice job, peeps. Don't over think and just enjoy it!

 

[PK Gaming]

i found the most perfect girl ever

a total hottie who happens to be a massive nerd like myself

i sent her a message, and i've totally got my fingers crossed for a response

 

[Smiley90]

i found the most perfect girl ever

a total hottie who happens to be a massive nerd like myself

i sent her a message, and i've totally got my fingers crossed for a response

Don't be like that man, there's no reason to get your hopes up and set yourself up for disappointment... I always go in expecting no response, then I get positively surprised by those that DO response instead of feel bad about those that don't.

 

[Jzero]

i found the most perfect girl ever

a total hottie who happens to be a massive nerd like myself

i sent her a message, and i've totally got my fingers crossed for a response

All the geeky girls in my area are ugly as FUUUU

 

[Cow Mengde]

Don't be like that man, there's no reason to get your hopes up and set yourself up for disappointment... I always go in expecting no response, then I get positively surprised by those that DO response instead of feel bad about those that don't.

I echo this sentiment.

 

[Gvaz]

Huh, well. Okay.

I just got a message from a hot girl with nothing in her profile but a short snippet of info about wanting to be a tattoo artist, saying "hey there "

25%/26%/71%

Huh.

Well i'll respond to her after my final.

 

[Jzero]

Huh, well. Okay.

I just got a message from a hot girl with nothing in her profile but a short snippet of info about wanting to be a tattoo artist, saying "hey there "

25%/26%/71%

Huh.

Well i'll respond to her after my final.

I get the same thing sometimes. these chicks just don't pay attention and probably only look at your photo.

 

[Gvaz]

I get the same thing sometimes. these chicks just don't pay attention and probably only look at your photo.

I look at the photo first and profile second too <_<

 

[PK Gaming]

Don't be like that man, there's no reason to get your hopes up and set yourself up for disappointment... I always go in expecting no response, then I get positively surprised by those that DO response instead of feel bad about those that don't.

I usually go into okcupid with that mentality too

most of the girls i meet are cute, but i rarely find people who I actually connect with, so when i do its like i hit the lottery.

i'll be fine either way haha :d

 

[Jzero]

I look at the photo first and profile second too <_<

I do too but i don't message them if they have a really low match %

 

[Cow Mengde]

I do too but i don't message them if they have a really low match %

Same here.

The match percentage isn't as bullshit as you think. Me, for example, I can't stand smokers, drug users or extremely religious people. When it's a low match rating, chances are, it's those deal breakers for me. I mean, why bother wasting time on people you can't stand or hate?

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Gotta agree with above about match ratings, if you answer the questions carefully, it'll really weed out the stuff you don't like

But if you notice someone with a low match rating but it's a rounded number (10% or 20% or even 0%) chances are that person just didn't answer a lot of questions. Then I usually take a closer look

 

[Necrovex]

Gotta agree with above about match ratings, if you answer the questions carefully, it'll really weed out the stuff you don't like

But if you notice someone with a low match rating but it's a rounded number (10% or 20% or even 0%) chances are that person just didn't answer a lot of questions. Then I usually take a closer look

I tend to check when I see a woman has a low match but a 0-10 percent enemy, I tend to give a quick look. I had women who were in the 40s, and all of her answers lined up with mine.

 

[dutchguyjack]

Same here.

The match percentage isn't as bullshit as you think. Me, for example, I can't stand smokers, drug users or extremely religious people. When it's a low match rating, chances are, it's those deal breakers for me. I mean, why bother wasting time on people you can't stand or hate?

True, though I don't think I particularly 'hate' or 'can't stand' a certain segment of people just because of what they do or believe in. Most of the match questions are fairly superficial, and since I don't really mind if I get friends, benefits or relationships out of this site, I still tend to get in touch with low match girls if their profile is interesting.

 

[Cow Mengde]

True, though I don't think I particularly 'hate' or 'can't stand' a certain segment of people just because of what they do or believe in. Most of the match questions are fairly superficial, and since I don't really mind if I get friends, benefits or relationships out of this site, I still tend to get in touch with low match girls if their profile is interesting.

Oh definitely, especially if THEY initiate the contact.

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

First off, ha awesome finally able to post. Second, it's not hard to get messages/dates off Okcupid. I avg about 2-3 replies for every 4-5 messages I send out. I'll post my advice later on, do any of you post in the Okcupid forums?

 

[WascallyWabbit]

First off, ha awesome finally able to post. Second, it's not hard to get messages/dates off Okcupid. I avg about 2-3 replies for every 4-5 messages I send out. I'll post my advice later on, do any of you post in the Okcupid forums?

Your experience might not be the same as others, but definitely post your advice. I don't get nearly that success rate

 

[Cow Mengde]

First off, ha awesome finally able to post. Second, it's not hard to get messages/dates off Okcupid. I avg about 2-3 replies for every 4-5 messages I send out. I'll post my advice later on, do any of you post in the Okcupid forums?

They have a forum? Though not sure I want to stick my head in there. I imagine it to be worse.

And by all means, post your tips. It's at least interesting to hear. But what's your city and demographic?

 

[Pancakes]

So I actually managed to chat up this really cool girl who is into rock climbing and Firefly and get her to agree to go to dinner. I'm gonna take her to a middle eastern place that I've been to quite a bit.

I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.

 

[BlueSteel]

So I actually managed to chat up this really cool girl who is into rock climbing and Firefly and get her to agree to go to dinner. I'm gonna take her to a middle eastern place that I've been to quite a bit.

I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.

You don't have to go all out, but dressing nicely will do wonders.

I'm sure others will give you conversation advice, but just know that you're going to be eating, so there is going to be silence. Hell, talk about food. I love food.

 

[Bebpo]

I usually go into okcupid with that mentality too

most of the girls i meet are cute, but i rarely find people who I actually connect with, so when i do its like i hit the lottery.

i'll be fine either way haha :d

Good luck man. There's nothing wrong with hoping things go well when you meet someone you really connect with. You'd be surprised how often it works out!

 

[Gvaz]

oh hey i got another message!

from someone who doesn't look at all interesting, aw

 

[WascallyWabbit]

So I actually managed to chat up this really cool girl who is into rock climbing and Firefly and get her to agree to go to dinner. I'm gonna take her to a middle eastern place that I've been to quite a bit.

I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.

First of all, calm down. I know it's easier said then done, but there's some great tips on first date etiquette and how to project the right "vibe" in the old Dating Age OT's

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=504385

That's OT4, and the links to the old OT's are quite helpful, especially OT2

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

They have a forum? Though not sure I want to stick my head in there. I imagine it to be worse.

And by all means, post your tips. It's at least interesting to hear. But what's your city and demographic?

The okcupid forum is hidden from new users because the people that post on there have a tendency to make them rage quit. I post in there from time to time there are some cool people on there. Off the top of my head one way to separate yourself from other people is to really look for something unique on a girl's profile and message them about that. Don't go for the obvious, message them about something that might be more obscure than whatever else she is talking about. Instead of what she is doing with her life, write a short message about some off the wall interest she is into, and keep it short. Also don't pay too many compliments she's getting that from other guys.

So I actually managed to chat up this really cool girl who is into rock climbing and Firefly and get her to agree to go to dinner. I'm gonna take her to a middle eastern place that I've been to quite a bit.

I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.

So you have home field advantage on the place you are taking her? If you're knowledgable about it that should ease your nerves a bit. I say dress somewhat casual. She's probably a bit nervous too you don't want her to think you are as well. You have common interests right? Go with that for a bit and keep an ear open to what she says, find another thread in the conversation to go off on a tangent on.

 

[dutchguyjack]

So I actually managed to chat up this really cool girl who is into rock climbing and Firefly and get her to agree to go to dinner. I'm gonna take her to a middle eastern place that I've been to quite a bit.

I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.

What would you talk to a friend about to avoid awkward silences? The point is, you're not going to plan the conversation, it either flows or it doesn't, and that's how you know if you're a match or not.

I'd dress the way I dress on my best days - smart casual is one way of describing it. I'd personally avoid jeans, but mostly you should dress up in whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident.

Finally, it's a bit of a close call for this date since you'll need a bit of practice, but a great game to play on a date is 'The Cube'. It really helps you get to know her, and all the girls I've tried it on loved it. Alternatively you can play the questions game, or you can go with the typical 'So what do you do?' conversation, but I personally wouldn't really go for that as those types of questions bore the living hell out of me.

 

[UFRA]

oh hey i got another message!

from someone who doesn't look at all interesting, aw

LOL ahh yes...I share your pain at times.

 

[Bebpo]

So I actually managed to chat up this really cool girl who is into rock climbing and Firefly and get her to agree to go to dinner. I'm gonna take her to a middle eastern place that I've been to quite a bit.

I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.

Just figure you're going to fuck it up anyhow, so be yourself and see how it goes no pressure.

Like everything in life, it usually takes a handful of times doing something before you get good at it, so the experience is what really matters. You'll do 10x better on your next date, I promise. Just use this one as a learning experience and if it works out, then great!

 

[Scofield94941]

awkward silences are good. Let them be natural and dont try to fill them just to fill them

 

[False Witness]

Silences are only awkward if the thing said before it was awkward. Don't say anything weird and you'll never encounter an awkward silence. Pauses in conversation are definitely a good thing. Gives you time to digest everything and actually come up with interesting subjects to talk about instead of just rambling about random nonsense.

 

[Spinluck]

So I went on my first OKCupid date last night. Within 5 minutes of meeting her at her apartment, I was getting a blowjob. Is this what I should expect? The date went horribly after that, she had absolutely nothing at all to say except for 'yeah . . . . '

'Hello nice to meet you blowjobs' are nice and all, but I was actually a bit disappointed. We were chatting for a long time beforehand, and it seemed like she was really cool. I want a little substance, you know? I mean, I'm a bit older (in my 30s), so the 'bootie call' game is played and done. Man, it seems like there's a lot of weird, damaged, fucked up people out there.

She invited you over and sucked your dick, and you're complaining!!?? MEN THESE FUCKING DAYS.

Spoiler

jk

I've had a few dates that ended up with us messing around or getting straight up butt naked.

My advice is, unless you're not interested, refrain from it. Jerk off before every first date, twice if you have to. And do not bring up sex at all. I found that anytime I end up doing something sexual with a chick, I'm far far less likely to see them again. The most that goes down after that is texting, and idle dating ideas that never come to happen.

My last date ended up with me having the worse sex ever.

I still have them on Facebook, and have contemplated deleting them. But I figured they'd delete me first, but they never have.

 

[Smiley90]

She invited you over and sucked your dick, and you're complaining!!?? MEN THESE FUCKING DAYS.

Spoiler

jk

I've had a few dates that ended up with us messing around or getting straight up butt naked.

My advice is, unless you're not interested, refrain from it. Jerk off before every first date, twice if you have to. And do not bring up sex at all. I found that anytime I end up doing something sexual with a chick, I'm far far less likely to see them again. The most that goes down after that is texting, and idle dating ideas that never come to happen.

My last date ended up with me having the worse sex ever.

I still have them on Facebook, and have contemplated deleting them. But I figured they'd delete me first, but they never have.

This advice might sound weird, but I'm just gonna go ahead and second it. If you have problems with blue balls, it's solid advice.

 

[NihonTiger90]

So I think I'm done with OKC for now. Not because of frustration, but God damn, the potential dates pool from here is shallow as fuck. In a number of ways.

Plus, there's a lot of uber-religious types, which I don't mesh well with. Just have had the most terrible luck since about October.

I think living in the middle of nowhere, it's going to be hard for me to find someone until I move. Unfortunately, that's not happening anytime soon. So I don't really know what to do.

 

[maxxpower]

I hate that for every girl's profile I visit I have to check the "Would you prefer to date someone that is the same skin color/race" and make sure they answered "no". I'm Hispanic and every girl in my area is white.

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

Watching Aziz Ansari's stand up and his joke about texting fits OKC messaging as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFR4PPxp2z8

This one about bars is great too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU9AlUIH2xQ

 

[d1rtn4p]

Watching Aziz Ansari's stand up and his joke about texting fits OKC messaging as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFR4PPxp2z8

This one about bars is great too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU9AlUIH2xQ

lmao. Yeah, that first one is extremely relevant to me. I think I ran into that situation like three times this week. Seems like every girl is cool and wants to meet up until you actually hold them to it, then they're ghost.

 

[Bossun]

God, I have found the most perfect girl physically for me EVER.

I fell in love right away.

Sad part is, I don't pay so I can't contact her until she contact me.
I'm even thinking to start paying just so I can contact her...
Damn...
Damn...

 

[Jzero]

God, I have found the most perfect girl physically for me EVER.

I fell in love right away.

Sad part is, I don't pay so I can't contact her until she contact me.
I'm even thinking to start paying just so I can contact her...
Damn...
Damn...

What do you mean? Some people require you to pay to message them?

 

[dutchguyjack]

God, I have found the most perfect girl physically for me EVER.

I fell in love right away.

Sad part is, I don't pay so I can't contact her until she contact me.
I'm even thinking to start paying just so I can contact her...
Damn...
Damn...

Uh oh.. I don't like hearing those words.

 

[vatstep]

God, I have found the most perfect girl physically for me EVER.

I fell in love right away.

Sad part is, I don't pay so I can't contact her until she contact me.
I'm even thinking to start paying just so I can contact her...
Damn...
Damn...

You haven't seen her in person yet. Be wary.

And that's just one of the things wrong with this post.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

God, I have found the most perfect girl physically for me EVER.

I fell in love right away.

Sad part is, I don't pay so I can't contact her until she contact me.
I'm even thinking to start paying just so I can contact her...
Damn...
Damn...

come on man, make sure you at least reverse image search

What do you mean? Some people require you to pay to message them?

If their inbox is full, you can "bribe" OKC to send a message anyways

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

Fack. I read some of these replies and I fall into the same traps. I met a girl who could have been a no strings attached FWB but I messed it up cos I emoted like a moran. You gotta always be cool yo. On the bright/odd side a gorgeous girl who I had a brief fling with contacted me so there is that.

 

[Maddocks]

bribe okc to send her a message she will not read. If her inbox is full, avoid her.

 

[Jzero]

If their inbox is full, you can "bribe" OKC to send a message anyways

bribe okc to send her a message she will not read. If her inbox is full, avoid her.

What a coincidence, i just found the only cute geeky chick on the site and her inbox is full