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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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Cow Mengde
Banned
I'm from NY. I'll gladly take her off your hands
if I was some insanely stupid desperate fool.
At least you're still alive.
Admit that you're gay and have been living a lie. Might need an 'actor' off craigslist to help complete the deception.
Spunky Monkey
Member
Oh yeah i get some are just on it for the ego boost or im not what they want but out of 300 messages sent i've had 3 replies in total. That sounds really bad to me, back in 2008 on myspace i used to get loads of replies so either the world has changed or im doing something wrong.
I really don't know how to be funny in a message without sound stupid or lame and its even harder to be funny when their profile is so dull or empty.
Spunky Monkey - I would re-write you profile. Throw in some jokes, throw in a bit of playfulness and flirting. Take out the part about being shy and caring. For example, in my "message if..." section I have: "...If you want to play games. I never lose at those." Suggesting that I'm down to play "the game" if necessary and that I'm confident.
Within that I also have a few interests of mine and a bit of mystery. In my "About Me" I have "I'm European (can you guess where from?)". Gives them an ice-breaker. Not to mention I get a bunch of messages with girls guessing where I'm from, lol.
It gives a bit of a playfulness to what will otherwise be a very redundant experience. Most people write the same stuff, more or less.
Ah sorry, thats not my profile, thats a typical girls profile in my area. Don't worry mine is very positive and doesnt mention shy or caring, mainly cos im not shy and no one really cares if you're caring. I'd say my profile is quite playful but maybe i'll rewrite it again, although i don't think the profile is the problem, its either my looks (im not *THAT* ugly...i think) or my messages.
So what are the rules then? Cos so far i can't figure out what generates a reply except for to be so good looking you shouldn't even be on one of these sites.
Dato tomorrow at 6pm.
I don't even know what she looks like exactly, she had 1 picture. She seems rather cute, quite tall and thin is what she said.
We talked for a few days via texts.
I'm excited, maybe a bit too much, I might be disappointed if she is weird, because we truly go along pretty nicely and she's almost perfect.
Also 6p.m is quite early, I don't know what it means..
I don't even know what she looks like exactly, she had 1 picture. She seems rather cute, quite tall and thin is what she said.
We talked for a few days via texts.
I'm excited, maybe a bit too much, I might be disappointed if she is weird, because we truly go along pretty nicely and she's almost perfect.
Also 6p.m is quite early, I don't know what it means..
WascallyWabbit
Member
Don't be like that man, there's no reason to get your hopes up and set yourself up for disappointment... I always go in expecting no response, then I get positively surprised by those that DO response instead of feel bad about those that don't.
Jzero
Member
Cow Mengde
Banned
I echo this sentiment.
Jzero
Member
Huh, well. Okay.
I just got a message from a hot girl with nothing in her profile but a short snippet of info about wanting to be a tattoo artist, saying "hey there
25%/26%/71%
Huh.
Well i'll respond to her after my final.
I get the same thing sometimes. these chicks just don't pay attention and probably only look at your photo.
I look at the photo first and profile second too <_<
I usually go into okcupid with that mentality too
most of the girls i meet are cute, but i rarely find people who I actually connect with, so when i do its like i hit the lottery.
i'll be fine either way haha :d
Jzero
Member
I do too but i don't message them if they have a really low match %
Cow Mengde
Banned
Same here.
The match percentage isn't as bullshit as you think. Me, for example, I can't stand smokers, drug users or extremely religious people. When it's a low match rating, chances are, it's those deal breakers for me. I mean, why bother wasting time on people you can't stand or hate?
WascallyWabbit
Member
Gotta agree with above about match ratings, if you answer the questions carefully, it'll really weed out the stuff you don't like
But if you notice someone with a low match rating but it's a rounded number (10% or 20% or even 0%) chances are that person just didn't answer a lot of questions. Then I usually take a closer look
But if you notice someone with a low match rating but it's a rounded number (10% or 20% or even 0%) chances are that person just didn't answer a lot of questions. Then I usually take a closer look
I tend to check when I see a woman has a low match but a 0-10 percent enemy, I tend to give a quick look. I had women who were in the 40s, and all of her answers lined up with mine.
dutchguyjack
Member
True, though I don't think I particularly 'hate' or 'can't stand' a certain segment of people just because of what they do or believe in. Most of the match questions are fairly superficial, and since I don't really mind if I get friends, benefits or relationships out of this site, I still tend to get in touch with low match girls if their profile is interesting.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Oh definitely, especially if THEY initiate the contact.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
First off, ha awesome finally able to post. Second, it's not hard to get messages/dates off Okcupid. I avg about 2-3 replies for every 4-5 messages I send out. I'll post my advice later on, do any of you post in the Okcupid forums?
WascallyWabbit
Member
Your experience might not be the same as others, but definitely post your advice. I don't get nearly that success rate
Cow Mengde
Banned
They have a forum? Though not sure I want to stick my head in there. I imagine it to be worse.
And by all means, post your tips. It's at least interesting to hear. But what's your city and demographic?
Pancakes
hot, steaming, as melted butter slips into the cracks, drizzled with sticky sweet syrup OH GOD
So I actually managed to chat up this really cool girl who is into rock climbing and Firefly and get her to agree to go to dinner. I'm gonna take her to a middle eastern place that I've been to quite a bit.
I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.
I've never actually been on a date before so I'm nervous as fuck lol. Should I dress casual or dress up a little bit? What should I talk to her about in order to avoid an awkward silence? Ahhh fuck.
You don't have to go all out, but dressing nicely will do wonders.
I'm sure others will give you conversation advice, but just know that you're going to be eating, so there is going to be silence. Hell, talk about food. I love food.
Good luck man. There's nothing wrong with hoping things go well when you meet someone you really connect with. You'd be surprised how often it works out!
WascallyWabbit
Member
First of all, calm down. I know it's easier said then done, but there's some great tips on first date etiquette and how to project the right "vibe" in the old Dating Age OT's
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=504385
That's OT4, and the links to the old OT's are quite helpful, especially OT2
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
The okcupid forum is hidden from new users because the people that post on there have a tendency to make them rage quit. I post in there from time to time there are some cool people on there. Off the top of my head one way to separate yourself from other people is to really look for something unique on a girl's profile and message them about that. Don't go for the obvious, message them about something that might be more obscure than whatever else she is talking about. Instead of what she is doing with her life, write a short message about some off the wall interest she is into, and keep it short. Also don't pay too many compliments she's getting that from other guys.
So you have home field advantage on the place you are taking her? If you're knowledgable about it that should ease your nerves a bit. I say dress somewhat casual. She's probably a bit nervous too you don't want her to think you are as well. You have common interests right? Go with that for a bit and keep an ear open to what she says, find another thread in the conversation to go off on a tangent on.
dutchguyjack
Member
What would you talk to a friend about to avoid awkward silences? The point is, you're not going to plan the conversation, it either flows or it doesn't, and that's how you know if you're a match or not.
I'd dress the way I dress on my best days - smart casual is one way of describing it. I'd personally avoid jeans, but mostly you should dress up in whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Finally, it's a bit of a close call for this date since you'll need a bit of practice, but a great game to play on a date is 'The Cube'. It really helps you get to know her, and all the girls I've tried it on loved it. Alternatively you can play the questions game, or you can go with the typical 'So what do you do?' conversation, but I personally wouldn't really go for that as those types of questions bore the living hell out of me.
LOL ahh yes...I share your pain at times.
Just figure you're going to fuck it up anyhow, so be yourself and see how it goes no pressure.
Like everything in life, it usually takes a handful of times doing something before you get good at it, so the experience is what really matters. You'll do 10x better on your next date, I promise. Just use this one as a learning experience and if it works out, then great!
Scofield94941
Member
awkward silences are good. Let them be natural and dont try to fill them just to fill them
False Witness
Member
Silences are only awkward if the thing said before it was awkward. Don't say anything weird and you'll never encounter an awkward silence. Pauses in conversation are definitely a good thing. Gives you time to digest everything and actually come up with interesting subjects to talk about instead of just rambling about random nonsense.
She invited you over and sucked your dick, and you're complaining!!?? MEN THESE FUCKING DAYS.
jk
I've had a few dates that ended up with us messing around or getting straight up butt naked.
My advice is, unless you're not interested, refrain from it. Jerk off before every first date, twice if you have to. And do not bring up sex at all. I found that anytime I end up doing something sexual with a chick, I'm far far less likely to see them again. The most that goes down after that is texting, and idle dating ideas that never come to happen.
My last date ended up with me having the worse sex ever.
I still have them on Facebook, and have contemplated deleting them. But I figured they'd delete me first, but they never have.
This advice might sound weird, but I'm just gonna go ahead and second it. If you have problems with blue balls, it's solid advice.
NihonTiger90
Member
So I think I'm done with OKC for now. Not because of frustration, but God damn, the potential dates pool from here is shallow as fuck. In a number of ways.
Plus, there's a lot of uber-religious types, which I don't mesh well with. Just have had the most terrible luck since about October.
I think living in the middle of nowhere, it's going to be hard for me to find someone until I move. Unfortunately, that's not happening anytime soon. So I don't really know what to do.
Plus, there's a lot of uber-religious types, which I don't mesh well with. Just have had the most terrible luck since about October.
I think living in the middle of nowhere, it's going to be hard for me to find someone until I move. Unfortunately, that's not happening anytime soon. So I don't really know what to do.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Watching Aziz Ansari's stand up and his joke about texting fits OKC messaging as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFR4PPxp2z8
This one about bars is great too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU9AlUIH2xQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFR4PPxp2z8
This one about bars is great too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OU9AlUIH2xQ
lmao. Yeah, that first one is extremely relevant to me. I think I ran into that situation like three times this week. Seems like every girl is cool and wants to meet up until you actually hold them to it, then they're ghost.
Jzero
Member
What do you mean? Some people require you to pay to message them?
dutchguyjack
Member
Uh oh.. I don't like hearing those words.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
You haven't seen her in person yet. Be wary.
And that's just one of the things wrong with this post.
WascallyWabbit
Member
come on man, make sure you at least reverse image search
If their inbox is full, you can "bribe" OKC to send a message anyways
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Fack. I read some of these replies and I fall into the same traps. I met a girl who could have been a no strings attached FWB but I messed it up cos I emoted like a moran. You gotta always be cool yo. On the bright/odd side a gorgeous girl who I had a brief fling with contacted me so there is that.
Jzero
Member
What a coincidence, i just found the only cute geeky chick on the site and her inbox is full
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