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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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D

Darklord

Banned
Is direct chatting an ok way to go? Like when they're online and you can see "Chat with girl123" or is sending a message best?
 
JORMBO

JORMBO

Darkness no more
Darklord said:
Is direct chatting an ok way to go? Like when they're online and you can see "Chat with girl123" or is sending a message best?
Click to expand...

Most girls I've talked to prefer emails and don't like using the messenger.

Seems like a waste of time to me. You don't want to waste too much time before meeting. 2-3 emails and then setting up a date takes like 5 minutes of effort.
 
H

Henchmen21

Banned
I don't know....

Maybe it's just me but sites like these feel like modern day newspaper personals. Just scary how easy it is for someone to lie about themselves.
 
D

Darklord

Banned
Uh oh. I just came across someone at my work. Well that's awkward. I have her on FB too. I hope they don't check whos viewed their profile. -_-
 
D

Dragon

Banned
How am I supposed to respond to this message?

It's too bad you wouldn't date somebody thats slightly overweight, I think we could have fun. I'm currently in weight watchers to loose weight, but I guess that doesn't matter.

Heather
Click to expand...

She has one picture, up close of her face. And barely any profile filled out. It's weird, no?


Darklord said:
Uh oh. I just came across someone at my work. Well that's awkward. I have her on FB too. I hope they don't check whos viewed their profile. -_-
Click to expand...

I know on Match you can block people from contacting you, I'd suggest blocking them if okcupid has that, that's what I did with a couple co-workers of mine.
 
D

Darklord

Banned
Dragon said:
I know on Match you can block people from contacting you, I'd suggest blocking them if okcupid has that, that's what I did with a couple co-workers of mine.
Click to expand...

Too late! lol, she viewed my profile. Fucking hell! It's not that SHE saw but if she's a fucking blabber mouth, which I think she is, everyone is gonna know. It's not weird these days to use a dating site but...still!
 
T

Tom_Cody

Member
Futureman said:
anyone ever see this...

"Her mailbox is full, so she can’t receive any new messages."

haha.
Click to expand...
Why is that strange? My inbox always virtually full. I have to delete messages every few days to make sure it doesn't top out.

It is annoying when I want to message a girl whose box is full though. Usually this works out as "she's hot, why is she green? Oh, inbox is full."
 
S

Snkfanatic

Banned
Darklord said:
Too late! lol, she viewed my profile. Fucking hell! It's not that SHE saw but if she's a fucking blabber mouth, which I think she is, everyone is gonna know. It's not weird these days to use a dating site but...still!
Click to expand...

Are you ashamed of being on a dating site? Just curious honestly
 
D

Darklord

Banned
Snkfanatic said:
Are you ashamed of being on a dating site? Just curious honestly
Click to expand...

No, it's not that. I just use it as something to meet different people, I'm not even looking for love or anything but I'd prefer everyone not knowing, it's just one of those kinda personal things. My friends know but that's it. It's just weird when you come across a person you know from work in a more formal situation and it's that "Oh...you" moment and then she'd have the same moment. If I came across a friend I'd probably send a joke message.
 
T

Tom_Cody

Member
Snkfanatic said:
Are you ashamed of being on a dating site? Just curious honestly
Click to expand...

Darklord said:
No, it's not that. I just use it as something to meet different people, I'm not even looking for love or anything but I'd prefer everyone not knowing, it's just one of those kinda personal things. My friends know but that's it. It's just weird when you come across a person you know from work in a more formal situation and it's that "Oh...you" moment and then she'd have the same moment. If I came across a friend I'd probably send a joke message.
Click to expand...
This happened to me a couple years ago with a girl I was volunteering with at the time. It didn't help that she was always flirting with me prior to this despite my total lack of interest.

She sent me a sort of joke message and I replied with a curt message in order to indicate that I wasn't interested in communicating with her on the site.

That situation aside, it is not so much that I am ashamed of being on the site, it is just that my profile is meant to specifically connect with girls that I am interested in dating. I don't really want my friends or other people I know reading it. That said, I am sort of aware that people may stumble onto it so I try to avoid writing anything that could critically embarrass me IRL.
 
D

Darklord

Banned
Tom_Cody said:
That situation aside, it is not so much that I am ashamed of being on the site, it is just that my profile is meant to specifically connect with girls that I am interested in dating. I don't really want my friends or other people I know reading it.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that's like me.


Edit: Apparently, on POF there's a feature where you can ask to meet people, I guess it's a way to make contact without messaging? One of them did it to me but she had no picture and refused to put one up because she "didn't trust it". No pic, no messaging. Also the grammar wanted me to cut my eyes out. I'm no grammar Nazi but bloody hell!
 
P

Power Glove

Member
Just got flaked out on. Fuck I am pissed. Too much damn work for crazy women that don't know what they want. I'm only going to give one more girl that is a 99% match a chance and then I'm done with online dating websites.

This meatball sandwich will calm me down.
 
P

Puddles

Banned
Hey, I am going to grad school in the fall. Not for a useless humanities masters, but a professional degree that can earn money.

Do you guys think OKcupid chicks are down to date a guy in grad school? Or are they looking for dudes with cash money?
 
H

Hylian7

Member
Darklord said:
Too late! lol, she viewed my profile. Fucking hell! It's not that SHE saw but if she's a fucking blabber mouth, which I think she is, everyone is gonna know. It's not weird these days to use a dating site but...still!
Click to expand...

Don't worry about it. Nine times out of ten, there will be no problems with that. I used to have a PoF account for a week, and I found out recently one of my co-workers on there. Somehow we got to talking about dates she had been on with people from there, and she said she actually did see me on there back when I had it. We had a good laugh about it, no awkwardness at all.

Puddles said:
Hey, I am going to grad school in the fall. Not for a useless humanities masters, but a professional degree that can earn money.

Do you guys think OKcupid chicks are down to date a guy in grad school? Or are they looking for dudes with cash money?
Click to expand...

You find all kinds of women on there, just go for it.
 
Slayer-33

Slayer-33

Liverpool-2
Darklord said:
Too late! lol, she viewed my profile. Fucking hell! It's not that SHE saw but if she's a fucking blabber mouth, which I think she is, everyone is gonna know. It's not weird these days to use a dating site but...still!
Click to expand...

Guy that had a female coworker scout you, keep us posted please LOL
 
RedAssedApe

RedAssedApe

Banned
I've seen profiles up of random female acquaintances. I'm sure they've probably seen my profile as well. Not sure why you are making such a big deal when you claim you aren't embarrassed. :) If they are telling people they saw you on a dating website they are also outing themselves as users of these sites.
 
G

.GqueB.

Banned
I went into this drunken okc binge early and messaged a bunch of girls on my way home:

I'm kind of into you, lets go to the MoMa tomorrow

I've never had such a high reply rate.
 
G

.GqueB.

Banned
Puddles said:
So are you going with one of them to the MoMa tomorrow?
Click to expand...

Yup. Actually ended up picking the Brooklyn Museum because its the first saturday. Free and ends with a dance party. It's damn fun.

I advise you to all try this because it was a wonderful experience. It's so passive and easy. I still haven't read this girls profile.
 
P

ph33nix

MWO
sangreal said:
people making fake accounts to put your private messages on blast are part of the problem with online dating.
Click to expand...

yeah usually those profiles are the hotter looking ones which are barely filled out with lots of exposed pictures and looking for casual sex

then the horny creepy crowd gets excited and goes to town it
 
O

Orgen

Member
The Anti-Monitor said:
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Alexandra-IM?cf=profile_similar
Click to expand...

What the... are you from Madrid? I just started working there this week and I want to know the city better... (wink wink jajaja ;D)

I'm new in the city and I'm meeting new people (work, parties...) I've never tried dating/meeting sites for this matter but maybe I should try it to see what happens (I'm pretty curious). How did it go in your experience The Anti-Monitor? (I guess bad if you're deleting your profile).
 
I

ianp622

Member
Two recent messages I sent:
I always love a challenge to put more thought into a first message. Your picture conveys a tantalizing duality of daring and innocence that compels me to strive to supinate that sanguine smile of yours. Yet your profile is somewhat sparse, leaving me to muse about a percentage and a battery of questions in a half-hearted attempt to divine the particolored personality beneath that monochrome visage. OKCupid shows us all the ways that we are alike, but that to me is a bit dull - I much prefer paintings to mirrors.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but what kind of words are they? I want to see the pictures of who you were and who you want to be - but silver halides and pixels are poor substrates for hopes and fears and memories undreamed, and cameras can only capture the ever-fleeting present that, in its nimbleness, left the Impressionists in the dust. Such simulacrums are scried through scintillating stories and veracious vagaries - but the journey must start with a 'hello'.

What is it about the outdoors that you love most? I once tried to use the isolation of camping alone to conquer loneliness. While I emerged unscathed (yet hungry) from two days of total isolation in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, I was not entirely successful. Of course, it was worth it to know that I am capable of tearing myself from the myriad of digital distractions we face today. And sometimes I miss the feeling that, in challenging the cruel arms of nature, you are vital to yourself - a feeling lost in this society where responsibility diffuses and comfort is an all too common goal. Maybe we could rage against the norm and have some adventures of our own?
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This one didn't work unfortunately. I got a profile visit but no follow-up.

The next one was to someone studying geology, so I started reading up on it and basically took every suggestive term in geology I could find and put it into a sentence:
If I were more vulgar and forthright, I might try to beguile you with all sorts of igneous innuendoes, commenting on your slaty cleavage, and exclaiming that I want to strike and dip your penetrative fabrics, culminating in a solution trans...ugh, I'm going to stop there.

Alas, I am a gentleman and a scholar who has too much time on my hands, leaving me to flail wildly as I attempt to wikihop my way into the heart of a budding geologist.

Perhaps we can indulge in some mutual marveling of the wonderous sundries life and science have to offer? Do you have a favorite science/space photo? My favorite is the Hubble Ultra Deep Field, but I'm warming up to the 200000 galaxy photo (although infared doesn't have quite the pretty colors).
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She thought the first part was creepy and weird, so it didn't go over as well as I had hoped. I'm not sure if she just didn't catch the references. For those curious:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleavage_(geology)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strike_and_dip
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabric_(geology)

I'm just glad now I didn't call her an igneous dyke.

I got a response though! We'll see how it pans out.
 
A

Alucrid

Banned
ianp622 said:
Two recent messages I sent:

This one didn't work unfortunately. I got a profile visit but no follow-up.

The next one was to someone studying geology, so I started reading up on it and basically took every suggestive term in geology I could find and put it into a sentence:

She thought the first part was creepy and weird, so it didn't go over as well as I had hoped. I'm not sure if she just didn't catch the references. For those curious:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleavage_(geology)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strike_and_dip
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fabric_(geology)

I'm just glad now I didn't call her an igneous dyke.

I got a response though! We'll see how it pans out.
Click to expand...

This is you trolling, right?
 
I

ianp622

Member
Trolling whom? I do enjoy writing them regardless of the response, and by making them special, it takes the sting off a lack of response.
 
K

KO Traveling Hobo

Member
ianp622 said:
Trolling whom? I do enjoy writing them regardless of the response, and by making them special, it takes the sting off a lack of response.
Click to expand...
I think he's referring to the fact that those messages are...pretty awful. The fact that you enjoy writing them regardless of the response is fairly apparent -- they come across as rather self-fellating.

No offense, of course. Just trying to help a brotha out.
 
A

Alucrid

Banned
ianp622 said:
Trolling whom? I do enjoy writing them regardless of the response, and by making them special, it takes the sting off a lack of response.
Click to expand...

They're not special, they're creepy. It makes you seem like a pseudo-intellectual try hard. I mean, look at .GqueB.'s message. Simple, straightforward and has had more success than either of your special messages.
 
I

ianp622

Member
Ah, I see. Well, something similar got me a date with an amazing girl within 3 hours, so I figure I just keep going with it. I suppose it does appeal to a rather niche audience.
 
P

ph33nix

MWO
usually my messages are really brief. a lot of those girls get tons of messages especially from creeps so whatever see shes before cicking your actual message, you wanna get her to read more but not be like "....this is an essay"

also, i never comment on their appearance...not sure if thats better/worse though

i had this one 28 year old who was a new member and i messaged her and she was all interested, gave me her name and email and said to contact her there cause she was deleting her stuff cause she was getting creeped on/stalked

i did, but she never wrote back via email. i was so hopeful....her profile said she just got cheated on and she was "looking to
it up now". damnit! lol
 
A

airmangataosenai

Member
So I finally got a response from someone which lasted for longer than 2 messages. We went back and forth about our lives for a few messages and I asked if she'd like my number.... she gave me hers! I texted her mine and the next day I texted again asking if she wanted to talk. She was fine with it and we ended up talking for well over an hour, by the end of which I made clear that I was looking to date her. Here she hesitated for a moment but said that I seemed nice and that she'd give me a shot. I asked to meet her for coffee sometime over the weekend and she said yes! I was pretty excited that things had gone so well.

.... Then things went bad. She was still responding to my texts but only later in the evening when I'd sent them over my lunch break. I felt like she was losing interest so I asked if we could talk today and she sent a message basically saying "Yes :) but I don't think I can date anyone right now. I understand if you don't want to talk now."

I felt pretty crappy after this, what a lousy way to blow someone off. For some stupid reason associated with my general status as an eternal doormat and partially in an effort to get a more honest response I told her that I was sorry if I came on too strong to which she quickly messaged back something to the effect of "Not at all :) It's just that me and one of my friends decided to start dating." Which obviously doesn't mesh with the previous message. I have no idea what the real reason is, it could've been me being awkward on the phone or the second message could be true but either way I feel like shit right now.
 
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