So I met someone on OKC, and she became my first girlfriend. 5 months later, we've broken up. It was fun while it lasted, and I think I've learned a lot. Here's my story:
It all started back in October when she replied to my message on OKC, asking me to fix her computer. I thought it was out of left field, but I complied.
I went over to her apartment late October. The computer thing was a great way to break the ice. I was very cautious about meeting someone online, and I noticed a couple negative things about her, but no dealbreakers. She was nice, not an oddball, and fun, and she asked if we could hang out in the future, so I was happy about that.
After we hung out again, we had a weird conversation over instant message, starting from when she asked if I was a virgin, and if I wanted to practice with her. That weirded me out a lot, but things took an interesting turn when I wrote that she was pretty. She became emotional because neither of her two past boyfriends has called her pretty. Her opening up to me made me feel a little closer to her. We became a couple shortly after.
The relationship was fun, but we had little in common, and I often "forgot" I had a girlfriend. I usually went to her place in secret when her parents were out, but her mother came home early one day and caught me there, leading to a very awkward conversation. My gf admitted to me that her parents don't like black people and were sort of the "strict Asian" type (i.e. pretty controlling, odd for a 22 year old), so she rarely gets to go out and see friends, which is why she was on OKC in the first place.
For a month, we rarely saw each other, as she made weak excuses to not see me, and I didn't care too much. Added to my (lack of) feelings was the pressure of not wanting to ruin her life by potentially having her father see us together.
Last Sunday, we hung out. I asked her to meet my mother, and she said "Wait a month. I need to think." 10 minutes of prodding later, I got her to spit out that she'd rather go back to the way we were (i.e. break up), and I said "Okay," much to her surprise. She spilled out that she was lately trying to avoid hanging out with me, fearing her mother.
So... What did I learn?
Breaking the ice is as easy as finding a reason to go over to their house (e.g. fixing a computer). Girls like compliments, especially if you hit the right one. If you can get her to open up and feel comfortable around you quickly, then her interest will likely go up. Getting her to talk about a place with many memories (e.g. High school) helps with that. If you're unsure about where to go, then going to a place she's familiar with will allow her to share memories and be less likely for her to be bored.
