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[Mystic Theurge]

I messaged a lot of people, and either they didn't respond or clearly weren't interested. I was on the cusp of deleting my profile. But a couple of days ago, someone messaged me.

Yesterday we met up and had a good time. We're hanging out tomorrow as well, and it might progress further.

To anyone about to give up hope, don't. If there's someone out there for me, there's someone out there for you.

 

[.GqueB.]

As I said, off-the-wall suggestions aren't optimal unless the personalities and interest mesh, and even then, I wouldn't suggest asking an individual out in the first message as many of the first messages that have eager dudes asking for a first date immediately get ignored.

And all of the girls you will go on a date with will have skepticism, no matter how hard you try to not believe it. They all have their backup methods to escape. Text messages and phone calls from friends normally being the go-to method. They have an idea in their head on when to bail, so this shouldn't be looked down upon as it's still two strangers meeting up and having no chemistry/connection should be apparent right away.

I will state that coffee dates are the worst imaginable date options for the first date. Nothing less personable and attractive than sipping on coffee for a short period of time in a small cafe.

The worst advice anyone can provide is that they have to impress someone on a date. That's the wrong way of thinking. They should be looking to have fun, be entertained, laugh and be happy. I have a friend that is on OKC and has went on several dates with dudes who have "tried to impress her" through whatever ways they think is attractive (money, career, who they know, etc) and it never works.

Here are 10 the things I have heard from multiple women on the website complain about:
1 - Crazy date ideas and boring date ideas turn them off
2 - Men not looking like their photo is a regular thing
3 - Men trying to get laid on the first date, and even trying to be forceful.
4 - Bad first kisses that were awkward since many of them weren't looking to have physical interaction on the first date.
5 - Guys who talk about themselves nonstop.
6 - Guys who do too much "humble" bragging, or bragging in general
7 - Men who refuse to pay for the entire date
8 - Stalkerish tendacies where the men try to add them on facebook, twitter, etc to insert themselves into the women's lives immediately.
9 - Men who talk about commitment on the first date.
10 - Men who have terrible first messages -- either too long (more than 3-4 sentences is too long) or too short (Hi, my name is *insert name*)

And as I said, it depends on the person.

I'm fully aware that women (or people in general) have "outs" for any date. I mean why wouldn't you? But my point was, if their main reason for turning down a date like that is because they have no means of escape then, as I said, we wouldn't get along anyway. And that reasoning is ridiculous by the way. Even if there's no chemistry, worst case scenario you get stuck doing something you wanted to do anyway (unless you agreed to go on this "off the wall" date just because which is dumb). So you win either way.

And I guess I used the wrong word when I said impress I because you're taking it too literally. By "impress" I mean proving to the other person that you're actually super interesting and fun over dinner or drinks which tends to be exhausting. There's nothing natural about it and more often than not its forced. I can spot a first date at a restaurant a mile away. The guy is smiling a lot, leaning forward in his chair like it's broken and the girl is laughing too much. At least that's how it is where I'm from. Me and my ex used to play games with this all the time (see: eternal sunshine drive in movie scene).

And I don't typically ask women out in the first message. That was just some copy paste-a-thon I was having some fun with because I never tried it before and was curious. And it worked twice. This is probably the exception, not the rule but it's one of those effortless acts where you really have nothing to lose. There aren't many reasons NOT to do it.

 

[Caspel]

And I don't typically ask women out in the first message. That was just some copy paste-a-thon I was having some fun with because I never tried it before and was curious. And it worked twice. This is probably the exception, not the rule but it's one of those effortless acts where you really have nothing to lose. There aren't many reasons NOT to do it.

I support this notion on a daily basis. The worst thing that can happen in any situation (beyond dating, too) is that an individual will say "no."

 

[Puddles]

"if she doesn't reach over and lift up that button, that means she's a selfish broad. And what you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."

I'm not trying to misogynistically imply that women only want money and blah blah.

However, I am going to be a grad student for the next two years, so I'll need to find girls who are cool with that. That's all I was saying.

 

[KO Traveling Hobo]

This site takes way too much work if you're a man. I don't feel like taking surveys, answering match compatibility questions, sending out messages, etc. In other words, I don't think online dating has any advantages over approaching a girl in real life. In fact, okcupid is comparable to applying for jobs online.

That stuff is fun, though.

 

[JORMBO]

I let a hot female friend let me borrow her account to see what her inbox looks like. 56 messages in one day, 90% of them just say "hey, how's it going". The rest are just "you look nice" or "how's your day going".

No wonder so many guys have trouble getting a response.

 

[Puddles]

So what's the best opening message?

 

[JORMBO]

So what's the best opening message?

I always comment on something in the profile. Usually just a short message with a joke in there somewhere. Sometimes I send out longer messages, but not too often. I get a response around 75% of the time. I've had decent luck on dating sites. I think the key has been I never take it seriously or follow any rules. I'm just my usually goofy, not giving a shit self.

 

[TheKaeptain]

Por qué iba a hacerlo?

Let's set up a date in a middle point. The Atlantic Ocean?

I'll meet you in Frankfurt, Germany or Paris, France since I always have a place to stay in those two countries due to some friends. Also, you now know my real name.

Story

See that is why I don't trust these sites. You're never sure who is on the other end.

 

[theignoramus]

I always comment on something in the profile. Usually just a short message with a joke in there somewhere. Sometimes I send out longer messages, but not too often. I get a response around 75% of the time. I've had decent luck on dating sites. I think the key has been I never take it seriously or follow any rules. I'm just my usually goofy, not giving a shit self.

I always include light humour and a personalized comment about their profile. Im still ignored. Most of the time anyway, I seem to attract alot of bisexual women. Maybe it's because they're more open minded. That and women who live in places where there's almost no diversity among the selection of men, so they're naturally curious.

 

[TheKaeptain]

So what's the best opening message?

Be real but not too real.

 

[ThisWreckage]

That stuff is fun, though.

It's really not. It seems completely arbitrary.

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

It's really not. It seems completely arbitrary.

"A nuclear war would be fun." Or whatever the hell that survey question is.

 

[ThisWreckage]

"A nuclear war would be fun." Or whatever the hell that survey question is.

I love your avatar and username.

 

[TheSchwab_7]

rip it to shreds GAF

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=btf_117

 

[purnoman3000]

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/bossedupmiilf?cf=regular

These kind of people cannot be real? Is this real life?





.

 

[KO Traveling Hobo]

rip it to shreds GAF

http://www.okcupid.com/profile?u=btf_117

I think I'd use the third photo for your profile pic.

Lose some of the wishy-washyness. Use "I'm" instead of "I would describe myself as" in the first paragraph. Just "Basketball." instead of "I'd say I'm good at basketball." "My eyes, my beard(when I grow it out), or my smile." or even just "My eyes and my smile." instead of "If I were to guess it would be my eyes, my beard (if I grow it out), or my smile." etc. Be confident in who you are.

Add a hook to your "You should message me if" section. "If you want to know more about me!" seems super uninspired and unhelpful to me. This is the last thing they read in your profile -- go out with a bang, not a whimper!

Personally, I'm not sure if calling yourself a hopeless romantic and repeatedly bringing up your procrastination are good ideas, but take this with a grain of salt.

 

[theignoramus]

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/bossedupmiilf?cf=regular

These kind of people cannot be real? Is this real life?





.

that kind of thing is extremely common on plenty of fish, lol. and why not do it, the men will line up regardless.

 

[AzureNightmare]

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/bossedupmiilf?cf=regular

These kind of people cannot be real? Is this real life?





.

HOLY GOD THE FOREHEAD ON HER. DO. NOT. WANT.

 

[Feep]

It's still too much work. I also think that most people portray themselves differently online than they are in real life. So there's a lot of work to be done on your part and a lot of deception on the part of others.

It also depends on where you live. Large pool? There are a grand total of 30 women on OKC in my area.

Fair enough...but small towns are barren wastelands for dating, online or not.

Within a 25 mile radius (my maximum setting), there are thousands...and in a few months, the pool will be entirely different. But that's the benefit of living in Los Angeles, or any major urban area. To me, the profile and questions and whatever are just a one-time investment, with the occasional edit here or there. It's worth a few hours.

 

[Ermac]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

 

[Kabouter]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

Wow.

 

[Boozeroony]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

Would.

 

[Caturro]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

Haha, that's awesome. She's probably right to an extent.

 

[SteveWinwood]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

From the responses I considered making an account just to see what it was.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

We have a 93% match.

 

[Hylian7]

I just tried a little experiment. I have been seeing a girl lately, so I decided to change my status on OKC to "Seeing Someone" today. Since it alerts people of this in your recent activity, I thought it might up my viewers. Turns out I was right. I changed it, and immediately got 2 viewers. Funny how that works.

 

[raphier]

last night I spent 6 hours from midnight talking to a chick who suffers from insomnia. Bad mood is prevalent, but she hates it when people express pity and acts anti-social and she's into bondage.
,
Our themes included how a lie can cast a shadow on top of our real selves and how the world is a stage. Something about her insomnia and the medicine she refuses to take, because of evil medicine pharmacy and how they do it for money.And lastly about God and His Will for the world.

So, yeah I better delete my account.

 

[Ermac]

From the responses I considered making an account just to see what it was.

I would sum it up as "I am 20 years old and know everything there is to know about the world."

 

[Hylian7]

last night I spend 6 hours from midnight talking to a chick who suffers from insomnia. Bad mood is prevalent, but she hates when people express pity and acts anti-social and she's into bondage.
,
Our themes included how a lie can cast a shadow on top of out real selves and how the world is a stage. Something about her insomnia and medicine she refuses to take because evil medicine pharmacy. God and His will for the world.

So, yeah I better delete my account.

Just hide her, carry on otherwise. You'll run into crazies everywhere, whether in OKC or real life.

 

[deejay8595]

I would sum it up as "I am 20 years old and know everything there is to know about the world."

Post the profile text here. I don't have an account.

 

[BeautifulMemory]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

At least she keeps it real, right? Just cut straight to the point

 

[Snkfanatic]

I would sum it up as "I am 20 years old and know everything there is to know about the world."

This, but the profile did make me laugh a lot. Also loved the blurry photos.

 

[Hylian7]

I think some of you missed the point on that OKC page. I do wonder if she answered the questions honestly or not, but who knows. I refer you to this though.

You must also understand sarcasm, or your comprehension of this page is not possible.

 

[TheKaeptain]

Do people like this really exist?

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sothatsgood?cf=regular

you're an empty box of puzzle pieces. If you're on the edge. If you like mindblowing things and going on adventures. You must also understand sarcasm, or your comprehension of this page is not possible.

I'm in love.

 

[bud]

Be real but not too real.

me: "be real but not too real."
her: "... what?"

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

I think some of you missed the point on that OKC page. I do wonder if she answered the questions honestly or not, but who knows. I refer you to this though.

Sarcasm is overused. So many people refer to their oddball humour and dry wit that may offend people. And laughing.

 

[Power Glove]

I just tried a little experiment. I have been seeing a girl lately, so I decided to change my status on OKC to "Seeing Someone" today. Since it alerts people of this in your recent activity, I thought it might up my viewers. Turns out I was right. I changed it, and immediately got 2 viewers. Funny how that works.

...Same thing just happened to me. But that also happens when I change anything on my profile. Still makes me a little uneasy though.

 

[.GqueB.]

I think some of you missed the point on that OKC page. I do wonder if she answered the questions honestly or not, but who knows. I refer you to this though.

I don't think she understands sarcasm.

 

[Darklord]

I went on a date the other night. My first online date and she was great. Fun to hang out with, very outgoing but not arrogant, and hot. I probably should have made more of a move but she enjoyed her time and I even stalked came across a comment she made online saying that too, so it wasn't sugar coated. I'm seeing her again...but not for a while as we live far apart.

That said it seems my online dating has kind of hit a wall. I've chatted to a few, kept in contact with one cute girl via IM and went on that date with the other. But now, I'm getting no replies from any new girls. Kinda bumming me out. I'm starting to wondering what I'm doing wrong but then think "How did I get a date with that first hot one then?". Just pure luck? Surely not. Oh well. It gave me some confidence that at least a girl of that caliber can be interested in a guy like me but still...

 

[Devolution]

I just tried a little experiment. I have been seeing a girl lately, so I decided to change my status on OKC to "Seeing Someone" today. Since it alerts people of this in your recent activity, I thought it might up my viewers. Turns out I was right. I changed it, and immediately got 2 viewers. Funny how that works.

It announces to the world of OKC that you're single. When I took off seeing someone viewers jumped up by 40 in a matter of hours.

 

[Futureman]

how far away Darklord?

I'm chatting up a chick who lives 3 hours away, but she's doing an internship over the summer and said she's probably moving to my city at the end of the summer. Cautiously optimistic. I've never met anyone through online dating, so yea, it'd be my first as well. I'm 27 and she's 26... first chick I've come across my age who I've seemed to mesh with and isn't balls deep in a career. Hopefully things go well, cause I'm still getting over my ex (about 1.5 months ago) and it's still pretty hard.

 

[Darklord]

how far away Darklord?

An hour.



...by plane. She lives in another city. I'm traveling there soon and she said we should meet up again so I'll cancel some of my plans and go meet her.

 

[theignoramus]

LOL, I just posted a picture of me and an attractive woman I was seeing a while back. (she happened to burn me, so I refused to even look at any pictures of her for months) I put that as my main image, and sure enough, in under an hour, three cute girls check me out without me having messaged them. (this is POF)

 

[Caturro]

Wow, I'm extremely attracted to this one girl I found today. That puts a certain amount of pressure into the message I sent her and I really, really hope she replies. If not I might have to hunt her down, haha.

 

[iAmMaximus]

Does anyone have any experiences with long distance? I've been talking to a girl that lives 100 miles from me. How the hell do I go about this?

 

[Devolution]

Does anyone have any experiences with long distance? I've been talking to a girl that lives 100 miles from me. How the hell do I go about this?

Ex started out as long distance, current bf is long distance. Talked every day whether phone, aim, and with the current one webcamming. Ex-bf communication was really before the popularity of webcams as well as skype so it was mostly aim chatting/phone communication. If you can indeed webcam, I highly recommend it. Doesn't have to be every day but it's nice and you can be naughty .

 

[windz]

Does anyone have any experiences with long distance? I've been talking to a girl that lives 100 miles from me. How the hell do I go about this?

Text/call often and find something you enjoy - an online game - or something that you can do together and have fun with. 100 miles is not bad at all, IMO. Just let her know your intentions/what you want out of the relationship at some point (doesn't have to be right away). Cause at some point, assuming all goes well, there will have to be a move for one of you. GL

 

[velvet_nitemare]

In the course of making a profile on POF i realized that i don't really take pictures, at least not when im dressed up to go out. I might have to do the dreaded mirror pic soon.

 

[Hylian7]

I just tried a little experiment. I have been seeing a girl lately, so I decided to change my status on OKC to "Seeing Someone" today. Since it alerts people of this in your recent activity, I thought it might up my viewers. Turns out I was right. I changed it, and immediately got 2 viewers. Funny how that works.

Forgot to mention one twist to this: I got more viewers after that, but one of them was a girl I almost got to meet in person, had her phone number and everything. Although she said something "unexpectedly happen" and she didn't want to be seeing more that one person at at time. Her status still says "seeing someone".