johnny_park
Member
The girl I was hanging with that was here on vacation left today. I kinda miss her.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
- Status
SpikeDaPenguin
Neo Member
I just wanted to take a second and thank this thread because if it wasn't for it, I'd never have met my future wife. After trying out OkCupid almost instantly after I read the thread (about almost a year ago), a couple months later and I was in a relationship and now finally, we are getting married May 18th 2013. So thanks NeoGAF, OP, and thread, you've changed my life for the better 
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.I just wanted to take a second and thank this thread because if it wasn't for it, I'd never have met my future wife. After trying out OkCupid almost instantly after I read the thread (about almost a year ago), a couple months later and I was in a relationship and now finally, we are getting married May 18th 2013. So thanks NeoGAF, OP, and thread, you've changed my life for the better
Nice, the ultimate success story. Congrats dude.
Shotgun Kiss
Member
Oh, don't get me wrong; I'm ecstatic to be in this situation. My self-esteem is the highest it's been in a long time. But I just don't want to get to a point where I have to break things off with somebody who thought I was really into them because I was coming on strong.
TheApatheticOne
Member
Date Review (3/10)
Pros
- Felt good to be in the game again.
- Cute girl.
- Never an awkward silence.
Cons
- Lasted three hours....
- ... in which SHE talked the entire time.
- Outside of being good looking, I'm only intelligent and funny. Didn't get a chance to play those cards.
- And the subject that came up earlier in the day - her profile photos weren't being terribly honest. She wasn't fat, but the angles were very beneficial to her.
In summary, felt good to be out in the field playing ball, shake some ring rust off, but not really interested. Nothing cures the "single blues" for me personally than a girl that rattles on literally non-stop. Bad part is that Im pretty sure she is VERY interested.
So.... to those wiser and more into the dating scene than I am - Date was this evening. First, how long do I wait to tell her it went okay, but I'm not interested? And second, what's the best way to put it? It's been SO LONG since I put a girl down. : (
Pros
- Felt good to be in the game again.
- Cute girl.
- Never an awkward silence.
Cons
- Lasted three hours....
- ... in which SHE talked the entire time.
- Outside of being good looking, I'm only intelligent and funny. Didn't get a chance to play those cards.
- And the subject that came up earlier in the day - her profile photos weren't being terribly honest. She wasn't fat, but the angles were very beneficial to her.
In summary, felt good to be out in the field playing ball, shake some ring rust off, but not really interested. Nothing cures the "single blues" for me personally than a girl that rattles on literally non-stop. Bad part is that Im pretty sure she is VERY interested.
So.... to those wiser and more into the dating scene than I am - Date was this evening. First, how long do I wait to tell her it went okay, but I'm not interested? And second, what's the best way to put it? It's been SO LONG since I put a girl down. : (
TheApatheticOne
Member
Okay, shameless bump, but here's what I have (I know, one date, over thinking, but I hate this part)
- It was very nice to meet you, enjoyed dinner. First date in a very long time, just didn't work for me. Good luck on your search.
Thoughts?
- It was very nice to meet you, enjoyed dinner. First date in a very long time, just didn't work for me. Good luck on your search.
Thoughts?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Yep, that's solid.
Avon Barksdale
Member
What's a good way to get laid using OkC/PoF?
Has she been contacting you since the first date? Or are you thinking of saying this just out of the blue?
If she's not contacting you, just leave it be and she'll get the hint. If she is doing follow up contact to try to stay in touch, then yes - go with that line you posted, it's fine.
False Witness
Member
I don't get it... How are these cons again? Oh no, I didn't get to peacock. What a shame!
I'm totally jealous.
Overall, the less bullshit I have to do, the better. Definitely prefer girls who kind of let me just sit there in the background.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
They are ok. Kind of average. Don't really do anything. Then again, I'm a straight dude
It's good to have photos of you out and about, having fun with friends. It doesn't hurt to have a few (tasteful) vanity pics/ selfies. Not too many.
Edit
Never title a message with hey, hi, whats up, wazzz gud or anything of the sort. The title and content of your message should refer/ respond to a praticular piece of info you found interesting on her profile. That shows that you 1) bothered to read her profile and 2) establish some level of common interest with each other.
That alone will greatly increase your chances of a reply. That with a good profile of your own will should end with satisfying results.
This was good info. Thanks.
Bluemongoose
Neo Member
By looking like you get laid, I guess. When I figure it out I'll let you know. I've never had luck with dating sites but here's to new beginnings.
Jzero
Member
Look for profiles that say they don't want anything too serious.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Nice. Sounds like love is causing those endorphins to work overtime
So remember that girl I was talking about? Well she just responded to me! It's like a total dream come true ♪. I've never said this about anyone, but i'd be willing throw my entire life at her if I could be together with her... she seems that great.
I'm not an idiot, and i'm not really expecting a full blown relationship with her, but i've still got my fingers crossed.
Scofield94941
Member
Is it normal for a ton of girls to look at your profile and never send a message? I know most of them are browsing but damn not one message?
Jzero
Member
Yup, some want you to initiate the conversation even though they're interested in you(which is pretty dumb) and some look at your profile and don't even up liking what they see.
Yeah. Think about it. You browse girls that you dont necessarily message, right?
Shit. I haven't logged on in over year (I have a gf, why bother) to read a fellow Gaffer's profile for feedback. Within seconds a got a message and a few views. Some a definite hell no and some pretty good.
It happens.
stn
Member
I get some weird-ass chicks, yeah. Some keep looking at my profile after I stop messaging them. There was one whose profile said she was Muslim and ONLY wanted Muslim men, yet she looked at my profile a few times even though I'm clearly a white guy, lol.
Even though its online some girls still want you to initiate. They're too proud to possibly be rejected.
Even though its online some girls still want you to initiate. They're too proud to possibly be rejected.
Question for you guys more expert than me at Okcupid. This is what have usually happened to me on this site several times:
- I Send a message to a girl with a really high compatibility %
- I can see that she visits my profile (meaning that she readed and / or liked my message)
- She never replies back
Rinse, repeat, over and over. What the hell is happening, really? Do I have that much of a shit profile? Weirdly enough, I have seen some girl on the site praising it, as weird as it sound. I just don't know what else to do, really.
- I Send a message to a girl with a really high compatibility %
- I can see that she visits my profile (meaning that she readed and / or liked my message)
- She never replies back
Rinse, repeat, over and over. What the hell is happening, really? Do I have that much of a shit profile? Weirdly enough, I have seen some girl on the site praising it, as weird as it sound. I just don't know what else to do, really.
David Incorporated Esq.
Member
Either they don't find you attractive or don't think you share interests. That Match % thing is only an indicator as to whether or not you'll strangle each other, it doesn't take into account interests at all.
Thats normal, I've only been messaged twice by visitors in the past two months I've been on and they were both fake account/spammers. Just message the visitor if you're into them.
stn
Member
Owwww, it looks like I discovered a lil' loophole. If you're not an A-list member but want to see who gives you a high rating, just check your e-mail. If you have notifications on then you'll receive an e-mail with the person's profile each time you get a high rating.
CURIOSITY ANSWERED.
CURIOSITY ANSWERED.
Owwww, it looks like I discovered a lil' loophole. If you're not an A-list member but want to see who gives you a high rating, just check your e-mail. If you have notifications on then you'll receive an e-mail with the person's profile each time you get a high rating.
CURIOSITY ANSWERED.
Not every time. You get the e-mail only like every... 5th high rating or so, the other times you don't. It's trying to tempt you to get a-list.
Also, it happens often that a girl reads your message, decides to check out your profile and decides that message&profile didn't convice her and she doesn't write back. No big deal.
Had my third date with a girl yesterday, things are going pretty well. Yay. :x
SirButterstick
Banned
Look for girls that are in finance / management. I shit you not.
stn
Member
Really? Damn, I thought I figured something out.Not every time. You get the e-mail only like every... 5th high rating or so, the other times you don't. It's trying to tempt you to get a-list.
Avon Barksdale
Member
Really?
Cow Mengde
Banned
Huh? Why? What's the logic behind this?
stn
Member
Mannnnnnn, this one girl I'm talking has everything but spunk and energy. I know its hard to tell over a computer screen but man!!! She's not even SLIGHTLY flirty.
EDIT: Fuck it. I was/am very attracted to this girl but she has zero sense of humor!! Even over a PC screen!!! Not meeting her, that's it.
EDIT: Fuck it. I was/am very attracted to this girl but she has zero sense of humor!! Even over a PC screen!!! Not meeting her, that's it.
SirButterstick
Banned
Experience
I think girls in that kind of position (no pun intended) really cut loose. I think they're expected to be so stuffy with their careers, they go wild outside of work. Again, this is just hypothesizing based on a few dates with girls who listed that as their occupation.
Trying to get back into this after being away from it for a few months.
It's weird, I used to really enjoy meeting people through the site and I'd even fall for people here and there, but now I'm just not really feeling any motivation. My profile comes across a lot better now thanks to photos and things learned from recent relationships. So I'm getting a pretty good response rate and after a week back in I'm juggling like 10-15 girls with short messages back and forth a couple of times a day. But not feeling any connection or attachment to anyone :\ The more people I message the more everyone feels the same because everyone is afraid to look "weird" and "different". I never meet any weird people into the niche stuff I'm into. Hell, I never even meet people into the music I'm into and it's not even that niche (90s->modern punk, chiptune & indie rock).
For whatever reason, I don't feel like being in a relationship or dating right now. No motivation. No romantic lusts. I'm more just looking for someone to hang out with, go to shows, travel buddies.
I feel like back when OKC was still kind of niche and girls didn't get 1,000 e-mails a week people opened up a little more and you could have interesting conversations early on. Now it's like life in the fast lane and everyone's just making short jokes and flirting and asking a question or two. When I try to open up and talk about things with more substance, I'm finding it's not opening the other person up. Either they're open and talkative from the start, or it's not gonna happen. Makes me wonder where are the girls who like to talk about themselves for pages on end. I find girls the most interesting when they actually open up and talk a lot because you're like "woah, this person is pretty cool!"
My friends think I'm in a depression. I get texts from some of the girls who know me irl asking if I'm ok after hanging out. I don't think I'm depressed though, everything else is going good in life and living atm. Can't complain. Still hanging out with friends and having fun, still enjoying nights in with good books, games, netflix. But I'm just not feeling motivated to actually go on dates with any of the girls on the site. I feel like I went from being high sex drive, lustful for years -> being burned on some really bad dates, bad relationships over the last 6 months -> feeling closer to being asexual.
Not sure what to do at this point. I'd still like to find someone to go to shows with since I'm at shows all the time and it's always a pain finding someone to go with, or someone to go on road trip adventures with so I'm not always going to things on my own. Like I'm going to a Mariachi Showdown tomorrow, how cool is that! Mariachi bands facing off against each other while eating great tacos from taco trucks and art and festivities everywhere. Totally stoked for it. But friends are lame and no one wants to go, so just going solo. Which still kind of happens a lot. This is where it'd be nice to have a buddy to go do stuff with.
It's weird, I used to really enjoy meeting people through the site and I'd even fall for people here and there, but now I'm just not really feeling any motivation. My profile comes across a lot better now thanks to photos and things learned from recent relationships. So I'm getting a pretty good response rate and after a week back in I'm juggling like 10-15 girls with short messages back and forth a couple of times a day. But not feeling any connection or attachment to anyone :\ The more people I message the more everyone feels the same because everyone is afraid to look "weird" and "different". I never meet any weird people into the niche stuff I'm into. Hell, I never even meet people into the music I'm into and it's not even that niche (90s->modern punk, chiptune & indie rock).
For whatever reason, I don't feel like being in a relationship or dating right now. No motivation. No romantic lusts. I'm more just looking for someone to hang out with, go to shows, travel buddies.
I feel like back when OKC was still kind of niche and girls didn't get 1,000 e-mails a week people opened up a little more and you could have interesting conversations early on. Now it's like life in the fast lane and everyone's just making short jokes and flirting and asking a question or two. When I try to open up and talk about things with more substance, I'm finding it's not opening the other person up. Either they're open and talkative from the start, or it's not gonna happen. Makes me wonder where are the girls who like to talk about themselves for pages on end. I find girls the most interesting when they actually open up and talk a lot because you're like "woah, this person is pretty cool!"
My friends think I'm in a depression. I get texts from some of the girls who know me irl asking if I'm ok after hanging out. I don't think I'm depressed though, everything else is going good in life and living atm. Can't complain. Still hanging out with friends and having fun, still enjoying nights in with good books, games, netflix. But I'm just not feeling motivated to actually go on dates with any of the girls on the site. I feel like I went from being high sex drive, lustful for years -> being burned on some really bad dates, bad relationships over the last 6 months -> feeling closer to being asexual.
Not sure what to do at this point. I'd still like to find someone to go to shows with since I'm at shows all the time and it's always a pain finding someone to go with, or someone to go on road trip adventures with so I'm not always going to things on my own. Like I'm going to a Mariachi Showdown tomorrow, how cool is that! Mariachi bands facing off against each other while eating great tacos from taco trucks and art and festivities everywhere. Totally stoked for it. But friends are lame and no one wants to go, so just going solo. Which still kind of happens a lot. This is where it'd be nice to have a buddy to go do stuff with.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Sounds like you need to meet new people who are into the stuff you're into. Have you tried joining a Meetup.com group?
I'm sure you're bound to meet some people if you go by yourself. I've gone to events by myself, had fun, and made friends out of it; some temporary (I didn't get their contact info); others I have added on Facebook. I understand what you're going through; a couple of friends that I have aren't down to do the same type of things I like to do e.g. a couple of them don't like to drink, don't go out to bars or gaming events which sucks; others live far.
What you're looking for is an activity partner; someone who's down to do anything with you at the drop of a dime without think twice about it. Those are hard friends to find indeed. So got out, take pictures, and enjoy yourself. All you have to do is find an interesting group there, say something witty (or anything), introduce yourself, and hopefully it should be down hill from there.
EDIT: I second meetup.com if you're looking for special interest groups that cater towards what you're into. There's bound to be a group like that that meet ups up regularly.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Yeah, definitely, there are a lot of special interest groups on there
Whereabouts do you live, Bebpo? I know there's a meetup group in my area called DFW explorers that specifically meets up at new places and new events that are off the beaten path. Maybe you can find something like that?
dutchguyjack
Member
Oh wow I love that site! I hadn't heard of it before, but it looks really exciting for a summer activity!
Shotgun Kiss
Member
An update, but first here's my original post, for easy reference.
So today I went on a date with another girl. It went smoothly, but I could tell pretty quickly that I didn't want to pursue it further. The first girl was a lot more fun, we had more in common, and she was cuter. But even if she wasn't a factor, I still doubt I would have been interested in a second date with the girl today.
Me and the first girl are probably going to go and see a film next week; I'm hoping to have maybe met up with another girl before then, as then I'd be in a better position to determine if I should be more "assertive" when seeing the first girl.
Shotgun Kiss said:
So today I went on a date with another girl. It went smoothly, but I could tell pretty quickly that I didn't want to pursue it further. The first girl was a lot more fun, we had more in common, and she was cuter. But even if she wasn't a factor, I still doubt I would have been interested in a second date with the girl today.
Me and the first girl are probably going to go and see a film next week; I'm hoping to have maybe met up with another girl before then, as then I'd be in a better position to determine if I should be more "assertive" when seeing the first girl.
If you didn't kiss Girl #1 on the first date you dun goofed and if you don't do it after the second you're messing up
I don't think not kissing on a first date is too big of a deal but if you don't kiss by the end of the second date then yeah...
Buckethead
Banned
Got matched up with a white supremacist the other day.
Her profile was amazing. I'll try to post it.
Her profile was amazing. I'll try to post it.
Wolfgunblood Garopa
Member
I'm going to have to finally give this a try, maybe date someone that isn't a mess for a change. Haven't had the best luck with my last few gf's that I've met in bars and normal circles.
One of my exes is always hooking up on this site, makes me kind of wary.
One of my exes is always hooking up on this site, makes me kind of wary.
I've always had best luck just going for the kiss on date #1. It lets me know where I stand so I don't have to do the awkward "Text her while my heart is racing hoping she liked me back and will text me" shit. I go in for the kiss. If she doesn't want to then cool. We had a meal and we won't be seeing each other again. If she does then you know there was something and it puts me in the driver seat for setting up the next date. Personally it just makes my life easier.
Unless of course I'm just not interested in the girl and at that point I'll just stop communicating with her unless she communicates with me and I tell her I wasn't feeling it
Shotgun Kiss
Member
Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking; some kind of sign of affection is probably a must on the next date to show I'm interested. Though are we talking something like a quick peck on the cheek, or a "proper" kiss? I hate that I'm asking such a question, but hey, if I was good at this dating thing, I probably wouldn't be where I am now.
I honestly don't understand the big deal with what date you kiss on. Depends on both people, some go for it halfway through the first date. Some go for it not until the 3rd or 4th date. As long as it feels natural for both of you it's fine, and don't let anyone tell you that if you don't kiss by the second date something is wrong with you. I'd say if you've managed to go out 4 times though there definitely is mutual interest and you shouldn't have to worry about going for it anymore. She went out with you 4 times, she's definitely interested.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking; some kind of sign of affection is probably a must on the next date to show I'm interested. Though are we talking something like a quick peck on the cheek, or a "proper" kiss? I hate that I'm asking such a question, but hey, if I was good at this dating thing, I probably wouldn't be where I am now.
That's good advice.
Probably troll account, but will definitely need to have this posted
dutchguyjack
Member
Without getting physical, you only very rarely manage to get through to the fourth date. If you had a great first date, what's going to happen on the second date? Expectations will be higher, and as such it often goes downhill.
Buckethead
Banned
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