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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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L

Leeness

Member
Not in the case of the guy who vanished on me, haha. :p

dralla said:
that's really funny, I just sent her a message saying "sent that to the wrong person I guess", and she replied back, 'Don't be smarmy' haha. What's weird is we follow each other on instagram, I think it's time I take her off, shits about to get REAL

edit. I say, 'dont worry, it happens'. she says 'no in this case, love ;)'

THE PLOT THICKENS
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INTERESTING.

I don't know then. Haha. I know mine was to the wrong person because when I replied, he didn't reply back and blocked me on POF (lmao).
 
D

dralla

Member
getting blocked? damn, that is cold blooded haha What did you say to that poor fellow? but I'm not even sure I'm interested in this girl, I've never met her and she also flakes out when trying to make plans, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
 
L

Leeness

Member
dralla said:
getting blocked? damn, that is cold blooded haha What did you say to that poor fellow? but I'm not even sure I'm interested in this girl, I've never met her and she also flakes out when trying to make plans, so it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
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He said "Hey, what's up? :)"

I said "Oh, hey you, how are you?"

And then he didn't reply and blocked me. Hahaha. I'm thinking he realized his mistake and to save face, DELETED ALL EVIDENCE. I laughed.
 
L

Leeness

Member
I've linked my OKC, but I really don't use OKC much. Not gonna lie, the only people on there who contact me, outside of GAF users (who are awesome) are Nice Guys in Fedoras. Haha. So I use POF. Which has worked out a lot better. :)

I think it would be http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=51522239 ? Tell me if it works, haha. Though, I guess there's no ~ratings~ so it doesn't really matter. :p

I dunno, anything I can do to get more people messaging me? I'm usually the one that starts messages haha. I'm kind of like a guy in that respect; I send out whatever, ten every few days, and hear back from maybe one or two.
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
Leeness said:
I dunno, anything I can do to get more people messaging me? I'm usually the one that starts messages haha. I'm kind of like a guy in that respect; I send out whatever, ten every few days, and hear back from maybe one or two.
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Props to you, I hate girls who just sit back and wait for people to message them
 
-tetsuo-

-tetsuo-

Unlimited Capacity
Leeness said:
I've linked my OKC, but I really don't use OKC much. Not gonna lie, the only people on there who contact me, outside of GAF users (who are awesome) are Nice Guys in Fedoras. Haha. So I use POF. Which has worked out a lot better. :)

I think it would be http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=51522239 ? Tell me if it works, haha. Though, I guess there's no ~ratings~ so it doesn't really matter. :p

I dunno, anything I can do to get more people messaging me? I'm usually the one that starts messages haha. I'm kind of like a guy in that respect; I send out whatever, ten every few days, and hear back from maybe one or two.
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It looks pretty good to me. I would message you lol
 
L

Leeness

Member
_tetsuo_ said:
It looks pretty good to me. I would message you lol
Click to expand...

Haha, well thanks. :)

I think it's because I'm not the skinny/gorgeous combo. They get the full inbox situations. I'm not hideous or anything, but I'm also not skinny/bombshell, so I don't get many (I get like...maybe one a week) messages out of the blue.
 
F

False Witness

Member
Shoot, the only reason I wouldn't message Leeness is because I'd be afraid that she wouldn't respond back.

Kind of why I don't send a lot of messages out. Plus, I hate chasing after girls. It feels more like work than any other activity. So much easier when other people decide they want to chase after you. :p
 
L

Leeness

Member
beanman25 said:
I'm not a big texter myself, so maybe that's the case with him? I don't check my phone but 2-3 times each day, unless I'm expecting a call.
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He's definitely awful at texting and returning messages, but it's been a week since we've talked to each other, and I left a voicemail and text message on Wednesday and Thursday, respectively. So... ball's in his court now. I'm just hoping that, if he's going to stop talking to me, he has the decency to say "It's not gonna work out sorry". Haha.

False Witness said:
Shoot, the only reason I wouldn't message Leeness is because I'd be afraid that she wouldn't respond back.

Kind of why I don't send a lot of messages out. Plus, I hate chasing after girls. It feels more like work than any other activity. So much easier when other people decide they want to chase after you. :p
Click to expand...

Don't guys not like that? Girls chasing them? :p
 
stn

stn

Member
Leeness - gonna give you the same advice I give all my bros in this thread. Stop texting him completely. If he wants to initiate, he will. If I were in his shoes and I was into you, I would text you (on second thought, I'd just call. Texting sucks). Best thing to do is continue socializing with people online and don't focus too much on the one guy.

Also, you have a great profile. Very honest and genuine (the pics also help :)). If I lived anywhere near you I'd certainly message you. :)

Good luck.
 
B

Bebpo

Banned
I only text when I'm free, which is usually not before work while I'm rushing from waking up to get to work, not during work while I'm busy, not after work while I'm doing errands or doing something with friends, so usually just at night before sleeping and then I don't have a lot of time to text a bunch because I gotta sleep. So I find more of the once a day couple of texts to be fine and then talk a bunch through longer facebook/email messages and then talking a ton when in person.

A lot of my female friends take like 3-8 hours between replies, so honestly I just think it's a case of people being busy with life or needing some free time to themselves without always being interacting. I wouldn't read a ton into it for normal people, but otoh if someone is really really into you & attached, you're gonna get responses real quick. Then again you don't normally want to be with someone like that cause it's too draining.
 
L

Leeness

Member
stn said:
Leeness - gonna give you the same advice I give all my bros in this thread. Stop texting him completely. If he wants to initiate, he will. If I were in his shoes and I was into you, I would text you (on second thought, I'd just call. Texting sucks). Best thing to do is continue socializing with people online and don't focus too much on the one guy.

Also, you have a great profile. Very honest and genuine (the pics also help :)). If I lived anywhere near you I'd certainly message you. :)

Good luck.
Click to expand...

Thanks.

Yeah, that's what I'm doing. After that last text, ball is in his court. So I'll see what happens. We're both on this one site (FlickChart) and he hadn't been on for like, two weeks (it's one of his favourite sites), so I think he was pretty busy, so I'll see if, since he's signed in on FlickChart today, if he gets back to me now. WE WILL SEE. In the meantime, I have a date on Tuesday, and some guy I messaged got back to me and we are into the "hey want to meet for coffee" phase, so... :)

Bebpo said:
I only text when I'm free, which is usually not before work while I'm rushing from waking up to get to work, not during work while I'm busy, not after work while I'm doing errands or doing something with friends, so usually just at night before sleeping and then I don't have a lot of time to text a bunch because I gotta sleep. So I find more of the once a day couple of texts to be fine and then talk a bunch through longer facebook/email messages and then talking a ton when in person.

A lot of my female friends take like 3-8 hours between replies, so honestly I just think it's a case of people being busy with life or needing some free time to themselves without always being interacting. I wouldn't read a ton into it for normal people, but otoh if someone is really really into you & attached, you're gonna get responses real quick. Then again you don't normally want to be with someone like that cause it's too draining.
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That's good to know, because that sounds a lot like him (profile on POF says "I'm not a phone guy" and "I really like my alone time sometimes, please don't be offended, it's just how I am"), and last time we were together, he mentioned his ~BFF~ was moving back, so I have a feeling he was helping the guy move, etc. So we'll see. :)

False Witness said:
The weird ones, maybe. Of course, this is from my perspective, which isn't so right, to say the least.

I like to sit in the passenger seat the first few trips, but eventually I'll try my hand at driving from time to time.
Click to expand...

Haha, I guess it's trying to find the balance between "Chase me" and "YOU'RE COMING ON TOO STRONG".
 
V

vatstep

This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
dralla said:
But at least you've actually met the guy, right? So you got that going for you. It just drives me crazy that people are on these sites and DON'T wanna meet, like..what's the point? But talk about it like you actually want to? uhh Was your guy as awkward in person as he was in text?
Click to expand...
A cute, interesting girl messaged me a few days ago, we went back and forth a few times (she was always quick to respond), and then I asked her if she'd want to hang out this weekend (definitely felt like we were heading in that direction) — no response. Not the first time that's happened to me, but it's slightly more annoying when they were the one to initiate.
 
U

UFRA

Member
-Had a beautiful girl who is a 90% match rate me highly (4-5 star mark) and viewed my profile.

-I view hers, rate her 5 starts, and send her a witty, simple message.

No reply.

FML
 
C

CarpeDeezNutz

Member
If a girl replies to you and then vanishes its not always because of you. They probably went back to their ex or had someone they were considering dating, someone swooped in and took a chance asking her out, she changed her mind and deleted her profile. I had met this really cute girl on there a while back and after a week of having her profile straight up deleted it, haha if I had not been texting/seeing her I would have thought she blew me off but she said she just didn't really want to bother with the profile. I asked her if she had met any other guys she liked on there besides me and she said "yeah but I just stopped responding". This wasn't a potential bf/gf situation either we were just FWB.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
CarpeDeezNutz said:
If a girl replies to you and them vanishes its not always because of you. They probably went back to their ex or had someone they were considering dating, someone swooped in and took a chance asking her out, she changed her mind and deleted her profile. I had met this really cute girl on there a while back and after a week of having her profile straight up deleted it, haha if I had not been texting/seeing her I would have thought she blew me off but she said she just didn't really want to bother with the profile. I asked her if she had met any other guys she liked on there besides me and she said "yeah but I just stopped responding". This wasn't a potential bf/gf situation either we were just FWB.
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Had that happen to me, too. Messaged back and forth with a girl a couple times, exchanged phone numbers, but I got a text saying "I'm trying again with my ex, we just ran into each other last weekend and I don't want to lead you on, sorry". I can respect that.
 
C

CarpeDeezNutz

Member
Smiley90 said:
Had that happen to me, too. Messaged back and forth with a girl a couple times, exchanged phone numbers, but I got a text saying "I'm trying again with my ex, we just ran into each other last weekend and I don't want to lead you on, sorry". I can respect that.
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Yeah dude, in my story that you quoted it was kinda the same thing. She was hung up on her ex so I knew it wouldn't last long. She didn't come out and say it flat out but it was obvious from what she "said" if you know what I mean. Eh it was fun for the brief time we spent together. There is probably a good amount of girls that use okcupid as an ego boost after a breakup. Most of my encounters have been pretty good/awesome with a few duds and some that weren't interested at the get go. I've decided to get REALLY picky now to make the next one count cos I am not really wanting any more serial dating/hook ups nowadays.
 
A

Ashodin

Member
So next week is the big deal - I go for my final airplane ride up to her place, get all her stuff together, and we make the move to our new apartment. Going to be totally awesome sauce, and it'll have been five months since I met absolutely the best person ever.
 
B

Boom Boom Pow

Banned
Ashodin said:
So next week is the big deal - I go for my final airplane ride up to her place, get all her stuff together, and we make the move to our new apartment. Going to be totally awesome sauce, and it'll have been five months since I met absolutely the best person ever.
Click to expand...

u guys met on okcupid?

You're moving in together after only 5 months?

ooo
 
D

Diortem7

Member
This thread inspired me to try out the website. Unfortunately, I haven't had any luck finding anyone that I feel I'd be compatible with in my area. Congrats to those of you who have found someone using the site.

_tetsuo_ said:
Apparently 80% of the women are also bisexual. This site is kinda funny.
Click to expand...
I've noticed this too.
 
D

dralla

Member
yea, location is such a big factor on these sites. and I also noticed lots of bisexuals and the misuse of the word 'curvy' hmmmm
 
P

Pastry

Banned
Got myself a date on Tuesday (from POF) that I'm pretty excited about. Really cute girl and a good sense of humor from what I can tell. Taking her to my favorite first date spot since I'm pretty comfortable there, not that I'm uncomfortable with first dates but it helps.

I have an easier time getting responses with POF I think but it's harder to figure out my first messages since there is usually less info on POF profiles. Just lucked out that my joke about her caption on one of her pictures worked.

Also, am I the only one that doesn't text before first dates? I'll set up the date on the website and then in my last message I'll tell them here is my number just in case something comes up. I'll usually get a text the night before or day of from the girl confirming that the date is still on.
 
C

Commander Jameson

Member
I'm giving this a(nother) go now that I've got some decent pics. Couple of things I don't get; what is this "Enemy %" business about? Also, what does the "Replies very selectively" mean? The latter is a real turn-off, so I'm ending up just hiding most of the women with this from my searches.
 
V

vatstep

This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
Commander Jameson said:
I'm giving this a(nother) go now that I've got some decent pics. Couple of things I don't get; what is this "Enemy %" business about? Also, what does the "Replies very selectively" mean? The latter is a real turn-off, so I'm ending up just hiding most of the women with this from my searches.
Click to expand...
If you do this, you'll end up hiding 95% of the girls on the site.

To be honest, at this point, when I see profiles that "reply often" I get a little suspicious, ha. Could either be a fake profile, or she's just way too polite.
 
C

Commander Jameson

Member
vatstep said:
If you do this, you'll end up hiding 95% of the girls on the site.

To be honest, at this point, when I see profiles that "reply often" I get a little suspicious, ha. Could either be a fake profile, or she's just way too polite.
Click to expand...

Ah. That's a shame. The site is actually well done. Much better than when I last tried it.
 
T

trs1080

Neo Member
Commander Jameson said:
I'm giving this a(nother) go now that I've got some decent pics. Couple of things I don't get; what is this "Enemy %" business about? Also, what does the "Replies very selectively" mean? The latter is a real turn-off, so I'm ending up just hiding most of the women with this from my searches.
Click to expand...

I have a very cute lady friend who has an OK Cupid account that I've seen. She sometimes gets 15+ messages a day. She replies to pretty much anyone who writes a halfway decent message, yet still gets the 'very selectively' label because she won't reply to guys who message 'hey' or 'u r cute' or 'wanna fuck?'. And sadly those are the majority of the messages.
 
E

equap

Banned
I deactivated my okc a few months ago because it was getting hopeless and because i was chasing after someone irl. well that didn't work out so I'm thinking about getting back into okc but i don't know...i feel so dejected right now that i don't think i should create a new profile while in this state of mind.

idk...just ranting.
 
R

rugioh

Banned
rugioh said:
This seems like a really stupid question, but how important is it to initiate physical contact on the first meetup? I was texting a pretty cool person for about a week before we met up(would've been earlier but some other things came up so we rescheduled.) Everything went well, no awkward pauses, conversation flowed and we had a lot of laughs.. I enjoyed it. We hugged when we first met each other but when we left I didn't really know what to do we just said our goodbyes and walked away without a hug or anything, but she smiled and insisted that I keep texting her. We're still texting and we're going to meet up saturday so everything seems like its still going okay... if she didn't like me she would've stopped talking to me by now.. right? For some reason I feel like I might fall into platonic territory if I don't make an effort to initiate contact. I think my mind is playing tricks on me help me GAF ;_;
Click to expand...

Wanted to follow up on this. We went out again Saturday and things went REALLY REALLY well... We made out for a bit so I got past the physical contact hurdle. Just wanted to report back and say don't give up hope GAF! Basically noone replied to my messages until I ran into her, so its normal if you go through dryspells. You'll eventually run into who you're looking for if you put in the time.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
:lol So.. this isn't directly about OKC, but I thought it was funny enough to share.

Disclaimer: My parents got divorced about 10 years ago.

Since today is mother's day and my mom keeps asking me about my ex, I told her I started online dating and went on 3 dates with this girl. She then randomly started giving me online dating advice and how she always appreciated when guys would email her long messages and how she wouldn't care about the short ones.

Thanks mom.
 
B

Bluemongoose

Neo Member
rugioh said:
Wanted to follow up on this. We went out again Saturday and things went REALLY REALLY well... We made out for a bit so I got past the physical contact hurdle. Just wanted to report back and say don't give up hope GAF! Basically noone replied to my messages until I ran into her, so its normal if you go through dryspells. You'll eventually run into who you're looking for if you put in the time.
Click to expand...

Glad to hear it. Hope I fare just as well.
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
Smiley90 said:
:lol So.. this isn't directly about OKC, but I thought it was funny enough to share.

Disclaimer: My parents got divorced about 10 years ago.

Since today is mother's day and my mom keeps asking me about my ex, I told her I started online dating and went on 3 dates with this girl. She then randomly started giving me online dating advice and how she always appreciated when guys would email her long messages and how she wouldn't care about the short ones.

Thanks mom.
Click to expand...

Haha awesome. Did you know she did online dating?
 
-tetsuo-

-tetsuo-

Unlimited Capacity
I love the profiles with nothing on them....

I'm unique!
I like fun!
I like to laugh!

Yes, now let me construct a message from this:

"Girl you cute lets cyber"

This is all I can come up with. I am just sending those chicks random questions now. Lucky for me I can also pick up girls when I am out lol
 
D

dutchguyjack

Member
Bluemongoose said:
I've had zero luck on PoF. This is my unsuccessful profile if you guys want to look. http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=23818744 Inspired by this thread, I'm trying Ok'Cupid. I'm going to start completely fresh, and I'm going to use brand new pictures. When it's set up I'd like to post it for critique.
Click to expand...

I would suggest to describe the 'First Date' in more detail, and be a little more original than dinner. Also, why do you feel you need to make her have a good time? You need to have fun as well, and I think that's the kind of message you'd want to convey. Not that she's having fun, but that the date in general is fun for the both of you. I would also suggest you take the "we'll take it from there" out, as it can come across as a bit too sexual. Finally, I'd check my grammar and general quality of writing, I noticed a few mistakes on a quick glance, so I'd expect there to be quite a few. Bad writing, punctuation and grammar are an instant turn off for most people, as it's generally (often incorrectly) associated with lower intelligence. You look like a smart guy - reflect that in the way you write.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
Has anyone's privacy setting changed by itself before?

Today i looked at the "Only allow other OkCupid members to view my profile" setting and found out it unchecked itself -_-
 
S

Shotgun Kiss

Member
Hey guys, do you guys have any suggestions on what to do after a date where you're not really interested in seeing the girl again?

She was nice enough, but I didn't really feel ny kind of connection, and I'm also seeing somebody else I like a lot more.

I went out with her two days ago, and we haven't contacted her since. I'm undecided whether to just keep that up and let her figure it out, but I feel kind of bad. Should I text her? If so, what do I say?


equap said:
I deactivated my okc a few months ago because it was getting hopeless and because i was chasing after someone irl. well that didn't work out so I'm thinking about getting back into okc but i don't know...i feel so dejected right now that i don't think i should create a new profile while in this state of mind.

idk...just ranting.
Click to expand...

I've had an OKC profile for years, but until recently, the most that ever came of it was a single date that didn't go anywhere, because I barely messaged anybody, and my profile and pics weren't as good as they could have been. Basically, I wasn't trying hard enough.

A few weeks ago however, I went through some severe depression due to circumstances regarding a girl IRL, and I took to OKC hard. I spent a solid two days making sure my profile and pics were the best they could be, and sent out messages (real messages that mentioned and asked about stuff in their profiles, not generic "Hey" or "Pizza or sushi" messages) to about 15 or so girls. I probably wasn't in the best state of mind to do it, but it's easy to hide your current state of mind when chatting online, as opposed to face-to-face. I had no idea what would come of it, but I was just tired of being single, and figured I should try. It worked, as I ended up having back-and-forth conversations with 6 or so girls. I have 4 numbers so far, and have been on two dates. One went really well, and we're meeting again this week (and are sending each other flirty texts), and I'm meeting at least one other girl also.

Long story short, my confidence has never been higher, and it's helped me get over the IRL girl. I still have a few pangs of being slightly down, but they're minor, and infrequent now. There's nothing wrong with creating a profile when you're down. Hell, you'll probably be less picky about who you send messages to, which can lead to you meeting people you wouldn't otherwise, who turn out to be awesome.
 
S

Smiley90

Stop shitting on my team. Start shitting on my finger.
Shotgun Kiss said:
Hey guys, do you guys have any suggestions on what to do after a date where you're not really interested in seeing the girl again?

She was nice enough, but I didn't really feel ny kind of connection, and I'm also seeing somebody else I like a lot more.

I went out with her two days ago, and we haven't contacted her since. I'm undecided whether to just keep that up and let her figure it out, but I feel kind of bad. Should I text her? If so, what do I say?
Click to expand...

You text her exactly that, lol. Think about it, would you want to know if it was the other way around? I would. And after a first date, there's no hard feelings. Who knows, maybe she felt the same. Text her exactly what I bolded (except "You were very nice" instead of "she", of course), that seems like a decent message. Maybe leave out the "seeing somebody else" part if you want to slightly less open, but it's OKC, it's not like she's expected to be exclusive right away either.
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
Nice job, shotgun kiss.
The temptation is to wallow in sadness for awhile, but if you actually just get out there and be social, it's amazing how much more quickly you get over it
 
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