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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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W

WascallyWabbit

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
I was trying to gauge how many failed attempts per successful one. Im still trying to get one message here,
Click to expand...

Just go backwards through this thread for tips on messaging girls, until you figure out a strategy you like, maybe hold off messaging more girls for now

Also, one of the old dating age OT's has a good section on online dating, you can find them on the op of the latest dating age
 
M

maxxpower

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
I was trying to gauge how many failed attempts per successful one. Im still trying to get one message here,
Click to expand...

Unless you're a good-looking guy you won't get many replies. The only dates I've gotten out of this site was with girls that messaged me first. I've only ever messaged one girl, and that's because she kept visiting my profile.

I visited your profile and you're a good-looking guy, so just keep trying and you're bound to get at least one reply. Obviously, that's assuming that you're not sending out creepy, needy, or just plain weird messages.
 
H

HP_Wuvcraft

Banned
~Kinggi~ said:
I was trying to gauge how many failed attempts per successful one. Im still trying to get one message here,
Click to expand...

Sometimes someone you messaged ages ago won't contact you for months.

Happened to me.

It was cool and going fine until I brought up Comic-Con (but seriously, that's in my fucking profile and pictures). Then she went on a rant forever about how male geeks are horrible, thus I must be. But she would be willing to try to change me!
 
K

~Kinggi~

Banned
HP_Wuvcraft said:
Sometimes someone you messaged ages ago won't contact you for months.

Happened to me.

It was cool and going fine until I brought up Comic-Con (but seriously, that's in my fucking profile and pictures). Then she went on a rant forever about how male geeks are horrible, thus I must be. But she would be willing to try to change me!
Click to expand...

She helped you dodge a bullet there!
 
W

WascallyWabbit

Member
HP_Wuvcraft said:
Sometimes someone you messaged ages ago won't contact you for months.

Happened to me.

It was cool and going fine until I brought up Comic-Con (but seriously, that's in my fucking profile and pictures). Then she went on a rant forever about how male geeks are horrible, thus I must be. But she would be willing to try to change me!
Click to expand...

Only male geeks??? That's sexist!!!
 
F

False Witness

Member
This one girl wants me to go bar hopping with her on her 21st birthday. Wouldn't seem so strange if I actually knew her, but she only first sent me a message a few days ago.

I think I might have to pass on that and try to set up something else.
 
M

Mr Touche

Banned
Actually that just happened to me. A girl I messaged back and forth in February finally reconnected with me like 2 weeks ago and we've been on 4 dates since then. So it is what it is. Second one I've met off of there, and she's kinda awesome.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
Gross i just got my first creepy message. I hope it's a joke.

Hey what up! You are fine as fu#*! I'm a bi guy and I'm looking for a cool str8 dude to possibly give some head to on a regular basis on the down low. If you ever feel like getting sucked up real good let me know! I'm totally down and its been a while. I'm down to deep throat real good! I'm dd free, safe and clean so if you are clean too and just want to get domed up hit me up! =P
Click to expand...
 
D

donkey show

Member
Jzero said:
Gross i just got my first creepy message. I hope it's a joke.
Click to expand...

tumblr_lka9rhi8aT1qadbq2o1_400.gif
 
S

Spunky Monkey

Member
Im now gona ask for some advice for the messages i send. I've tried sending long detailed messages filled with stuff relating to the girls profile. I've tried copy and paste jobs. I've tried short and sweet.

Currently im sending

I like your profile, its pretty interesting! *Some question related to their profile eg. What made you move from boston to San Francisco? Boston looks like a great city.
Click to expand...

I've now hit 100 messages over 2 different sites and still no replies, a couple of views which typically happens minutes after i send the message but i can't get anyone to actually reply.
 
W

Wolfgunblood Garopa

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
For you guys getting replies from girls, how many messages a week would you say you send?
Click to expand...

I've only tried this for a week or so, sent 3 messages and two replied.

Try a one line quip about something in her profile. I've gotten a few first messages from girls and that's all they were, and I replied.

Spunky Monkey said:
Im now gona ask for some advice for the messages i send. I've tried sending long detailed messages filled with stuff relating to the girls profile. I've tried copy and paste jobs. I've tried short and sweet.

Currently im sending

"I like your profile, its pretty interesting! *Some question related to their profile eg. What made you move from boston to San Francisco? Boston looks like a great city."
Click to expand...

Be witty, silly or irreverent, avoid pleasantries. One or two sentences. I'm not sure I would ask a question in the first message unless I had absolutely nothing.
 
E

electricshake

Member
Wolfgunblood Garopa said:
I've only tried this for a week or so, sent 3 messages and two replied.

Try a one line quip about something in her profile. I've gotten a few first messages from girls and that's all they were, and I replied.



Be witty, silly or irreverent, avoid pleasantries. One or two sentences. I'm not sure I would ask a question in the first message unless I had absolutely nothing.
Click to expand...

Questions give her something to respond to though. Also I think profiles (especially pictures) are more important than first messages. I'd be more inclined to reply to an average first message from a guy with a good profile & pics than a good first message from a guy with an average profile. Online dating is pretty shallow, sorry guys.
 
S

Spunky Monkey

Member
Any example of how to be witty? What did you write in your two messages? My main problem is most girls profiles are hard to be witty to. Every girl puts they want someone that can make them laugh and im pretty funny when chatting to people as i have a dry sense of humour but i have no idea how to start a message with something humorous or even irrelevant especially when theres often nothing to work with on their profile.
 
W

Wolfgunblood Garopa

Member
Spunky Monkey said:
Any example of how to be witty? What did you write in your two messages? My main problem is most girls profiles are hard to be witty to. Every girl puts they want someone that can make them laugh and im pretty funny when chatting to people as i have a dry sense of humour but i have no idea how to start a message with something humorous or even irrelevant especially when theres often nothing to work with on their profile.
Click to expand...

electricshake is right- the message isn't nearly as important as your profile- it's basically just a notice that you're interested, don't be lame and you're fine. Message girls that you actually find interesting that have profiles that don't make coming up with a first message so difficult. Make sure your profile is solid. Don't tell too much, be sincere, a little mysterious, and have a silly answer in one of the sections.
 
B

BronzeWolf

Banned
Getting more replies by the day.

Changing the matches filter from "special blend" to "match %" actually increased the amount of attractiveness of the girls it offers me. They also seem to be much more interesting and respond better to my first PM, instead of me just fishing for things to hook around their profile ("Out with my girls" wtf am I supposed to do with that?).

I guess that means because I am older and most girls are younger, the match % filters them and since my interests are career, culture and fitness related, girls that don't take care of themselves are also filtered out.

electricshake said:
Online dating is pretty shallow, sorry guys.
Click to expand...

This is true for both sides. I won't bother to send a message to girls I don't find truly attractive. I could pick up a 6-7 any day of the week, I won't lose my time online unless it's an 8-9 with a cool profession and life goals or just a total 10 (that more likely won't even see my PM)
 
S

Spunky Monkey

Member
Wolfgunblood Garopa said:
electricshake is right- the message isn't nearly as important as your profile- it's basically just a notice that you're interested, don't be lame and you're fine. Message girls that you actually find interesting that have profiles that don't make coming up with a first message so difficult. Make sure your profile is solid. Don't tell too much, be sincere, a little mysterious, and have a silly answer in one of the sections.
Click to expand...

Got any examples or comments about my profile? This is where im totally struggling.
 
H

HP_Wuvcraft

Banned
Talking to a girl about Big Bang Theory. She mentions she works with kids with Asperger's.

I mention I have AS, and that's part of the reason I'm writing a parody of BBT.

Guess who has not replied.
 
Darkmakaimura

Darkmakaimura

Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
HP_Wuvcraft said:
Sometimes someone you messaged ages ago won't contact you for months.

Happened to me.

It was cool and going fine until I brought up Comic-Con (but seriously, that's in my fucking profile and pictures). Then she went on a rant forever about how male geeks are horrible, thus I must be. But she would be willing to try to change me!
Click to expand...
Bail.
 
C

Commander Jameson

Member
I've had the "stop messaging for no apparent reason" thing happen with the two people that messaged me. I'm getting 2-3 visitors per day, but only 1-2 that are local (near London) and no messages. I am assuming that is a low number of visitors.

My Match selections only come up with a couple of people, I've completed all the questions and the QuickMatch has run out of local people and is just putting anyone in the world up, so I'm getting a bit bored with OKC now.

I might rewrite my profile. Which is the most important section? Self-summary?
 
K

~Kinggi~

Banned
This site sucks. Seriously, still nothing. Ive tried every type of message you could think of. Tried to match them as best i could to the personality. Hell even a girl just wanting to be friends who is into EXACTLY the same shit i am, sent her a cool message and nada. What a horrible demoralizing experience.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
This site sucks. Seriously, still nothing. Ive tried every type of message you could think of. Tried to match them as best i could to the personality. Hell even a girl just wanting to be friends who is into EXACTLY the same shit i am, sent her a cool message and nada. What a horrible demoralizing experience.
Click to expand...

They probably don't find you attractive broseph. I never reply to 90% of chicks unless they make fun of something in my profile. Either that or if they ask me a random question. The only other person that i replied to asked me "So, Reddit or Tumblr? :)"
 
K

~Kinggi~

Banned
Jzero said:
They probably don't find you attractive broseph. I never reply to 90% of chicks unless they make fun of something in my profile. Either that or if they ask me a random question. The only other person that i replied to asked me "So, Reddit or Tumblr? :)"
Click to expand...

Guess im stuck on the ugly tree.
 
W

Wolfgunblood Garopa

Member
Spunky Monkey said:
Got any examples or comments about my profile? This is where im totally struggling.
Click to expand...

self summary and what I'm doing
- too much self salesmanship (amazing adventures, job too complicated to explain, creative side run wild), play up your positive traits but don't boast. Be humble, maybe a little self-effacing, and sincere. Don't mention that you're European as the first thing, and not like that.

The whole what I'm doing section isn't good. Don't make it like you're taking the site too seriously looking for someone.

message me if
- this is all bad.
- lose the 'no pervs' part


favorite books, etc
- lose the desserts and cupcakes part, maybe make a joke about bacon, no Star Trek, American Pie or Disney

pics
- use the stadium pic as your main, lose the 2 pics with girls

Fill out the entire About section and Details section, have something witty in the 'spend a lot of time thinking about' section.

Don't have 'for new friends' or 'activity partners' in the looking for section.

I'd delete the account and start over with a better username and a reworked profile- be concise, keep it light and be a little mysterious (don't take it too seriously).

If you're not having any success after a week, delete your questions and answer different ones or have different answers.
 
K

~Kinggi~

Banned
Wolfgunblood Garopa said:
self summary and what I'm doing
- too much self salesmanship (amazing adventures, job too complicated to explain, creative side run wild), play up your positive traits but don't boast. Be humble, maybe a little self-effacing, and sincere. Don't mention that you're European as the first thing, and not like that.

The whole what I'm doing section isn't good. Don't make it like you're taking the site too seriously looking for someone.

message me if
- this is all bad.
- lose the 'no pervs' part


favorite books, etc
- lose the desserts and cupcakes part, maybe make a joke about bacon, no Star Trek, American Pie or Disney

pics
- use the stadium pic as your main, lose the 2 pics with girls

Fill out the entire About section and Details section, have something witty in the 'spend a lot of time thinking about' section.

Don't have 'for new friends' or 'activity partners' in the looking for section.

I'd delete the account and start over with a better username and a reworked profile- be concise, keep it light and be a little mysterious (don't take it too seriously).

If you're not having any success after a week, delete your questions and answer different ones or have different answers.
Click to expand...

You give good suggestions. If you have time check out mine and see what i could do.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
Set it so all can see it.
Click to expand...

Alright let's see. I'm going to be brutally honest.

1. You're not ugly
2. Your photos kind of suck and it feels like you're 'fake' smiling. Try to take more photos like the last one where you are actually smiling.
3. There's something about your hair i don't like in the 1st, 2nd and 5th photo but i just don't know what. Maybe the long fringe doesn't suit you.
4. Take off the "not a big reader" part. Even if you don't read.
5. Besides that, i don't see anything wrong. Like i said, maybe the girls you're messaging have a different taste in looks.
6. Keep in mind that people check the "The two of us" section and if they see an answer they feel is a deal breaker then they won't message you back.
 
K

~Kinggi~

Banned
Jzero said:
Alright let's see. I'm going to be brutally honest.

1. You're not ugly
2. Your photos kind of suck and it feels like you're 'fake' smiling. Try to take more photos like the last one where you are actually smiling.
3. There's something about your hair i don't like in the 1st, 2nd and 5th photo but i just don't know what. Maybe the long fringe doesn't suit you.
4. Take off the "not a big reader" part. Even if you don't read.
5. Besides that, i don't see anything wrong. Like i said, maybe the girls you're messaging have a different taste in looks.
Click to expand...

Cool, thanks for the suggestions. I cant take pictures for the life of me though. As far as my hair goes. I dont know, i kinda like it and its how it gets cut by my barber and they seem to like it. My last hairstyle was very short buzz type of deal and boring to me. I really dont know what kind of hair would work.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
Cool, thanks for the suggestions. I cant take pictures for the life of me though. As far as my hair goes. I dont know, i kinda like it and its how it gets cut by my barber and they seem to like it. My last hairstyle was very short buzz type of deal and boring to me. I really dont know what kind of hair would work.
Click to expand...

Just try trimming it a bit. You don't need to get a different cut. Look at the dudes in the mens hair thread, they always have it clean on the sides and long on the top.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
Are there any photos i should completely do away with currently?
Click to expand...

I don't really like the one where you have a hat and glasses for some reason haha. I makes you look weird.

By the way, can you grow facial hair? Maybe some stubble can help.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
KINGofCRA5H said:
Still no replies from yesterday, 6 visitors but they were male. And from the UK...? Dunno.
Click to expand...

dude you posted your profile on gaf, it was all gaffers haha.

KINGofCRA5H said:
Figured I should give it a shot. I'm 27 and have never been a serious relationship. Better late then never, right???

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/KINGofCRA5H
Click to expand...

1. Dude you need to figure out what to do with your hair. The fringe looks weird. In the last picture it looks like you put gel in your fingertips and made little fringe spikes.
2. You're going to hate hearing this but, your body type is not "average" (well maybe in the U.S.). You should put "A little extra"
3. If you haven't already you should start working out. Let's be real here. Most people are shallow as hell.
4. Women probably avoid men who don't know where they will be in a couple of years. Set a goal for where you want to be in a few years and put that on your profile.
5. Put more photos that don't look like they were taken in a studio.
6. Mutton chops or extra long sideburns are not sexy. Either keep the full beard like the last picture or shave completely. Or stubble.
7. Too many emoticons on your profile.

/done being an asshole.
 
K

~Kinggi~

Banned
KINGofCRA5H said:
Ah, well that would make sense.
Click to expand...

If you want honesty, i think your main photo instantly reminded me of those cheesy setup high-school photos where the person stands in front of a backdrop and does a fake smile.

I like the more natural style of you holding your drink not looking right at the camera.
 
K

KINGofCRA5H

Member
~Kinggi~ said:
If you want honesty, i think your main photo instantly reminded me of those cheesy setup high-school photos where the person stands in front of a backdrop and does a fake smile.

I like the more natural style of you holding your drink not looking right at the camera.
Click to expand...

This is a good point
 
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