el retorno
Member
I figured that's why I haven't got any messages...
though to be fair my profile was pretty barren, I just filled it out.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
- Status
I figured that's why I haven't got any messages...
though to be fair my profile was pretty barren, I just filled it out.
It's not that difficult man.
Just pick out something that caught your eye in their profile and ask a question. If you can be slightly humorous, that helps too.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Explain in further detail.
Jzero
Member
I was just wondering what he felt during the hormone process and what he looked like when he was still a man. I wasn't expecting him to send me pictures of what he looked like during the process though. These pictures were pretty disturbing for my heterosexual eyes.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Clearly she got with a guy she preferred, and thaat has fallen through.
Also i think a lot of girls are just addicted to the dating websites. Its highly unlikely people will find keepers on there because they probably love how much attention they get. I know girls who are active and have had profiles for over 3 years. (And they are in their late 20's with profiles stating they want to find a long term relationship)
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
This person is a woman now, right? Why are you still using "he"?
Jzero
Member
They still have a penis.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
That doesn't define anything. If the person wants to still be called a he, then it's cool. Otherwise, respect their difficult life at the very least by using proper pronouns.
TheApatheticOne
Member
I went on a date with a girl who had been on there over 3 years. Same thing as you said - looking for a long term relationship. But then you listen to her passionately talk about all the messages she gets a day, and you could quickly tell she really was into the attention it gave her. I mean, we sat there for over 2 hours, and listened to her ramble on about OKCupid and POF messages.... whew.
I bailed as soon as I got home and told her no thanks. I joined match, thinking that since it was money based, the girls would be a little less attention-seeking, more actually dating and looking for a relationship. Nope.
A lot of the girls are the same I've seen on the other sites. Crazy how many times I get 2-5 messages in, girls sending me huge replies, personal stuff... and when Im at the point of thinking emailing has ran its course, lets move this to exchanging numbers and meeting.... poof. Like a fart in the wind. That's happened FOUR times now, two of which I REALLY dug, thought we were and would get along tremendously.
I just wish there was a better way. No girls at my work. My friends are guys, their friends are guys. I dont do bars or clubs, and if I did, not sure thats what Im looking for. Online dating seems to be the only way, but most girls dont seem intersted in the actual dating aspect of it, at least in my neck of the woods (Cincinnati).
KINGofCRA5H
Member
^Preaching to the choir, brother. I know the feeling. It sucks
butzopower
proud of his butz
Switch my main photo to me in a mask. We'll see how it goes. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/lambdabutz
electricshake
Member
I fell for the very first guy I met on okc. I was just his rebound so it didn't work out. I never met anyone else like him after.
Met someone else through other means so it worked out in the end.
Jack Remington
Banned
So that girl who I thought had stopped replying finally got back to me, and we've got a date set up for next week. My 4th OKC date so far. I've probably messaged around 40 women, of which about 7 have replied, so I'm getting about a 1 in 6 reply rate. Not too bad.
My story so far:
1st date: went very well. Ended with her staying over. However, she was honest about the fact that she had multiple dates lined up with several other guys from the website. A few days after our date, she texted me to say that she felt she had a better connection with a guy she had went out with after me. Dude must have been Podrick Payne in the sack, because I thought I represented myself well.
2nd date: Met her for coffee. I thought things went extremely well. She was laughing the whole time, she was looking at me with this fascinated expression on her face. However, the goodbye at the end of the date was a little awkward. I just went for a hug, but something was off. I texted her the next day, but she never replied. I know she was in the middle of looking for a new apartment and may have just been busy. I'm debating sending her one follow-up. Nothing to lose, and as long as I keep it to just one, I don't think that's creepy at all.
3rd date: This girl definitely had a myspace angle thing going on. In her pic, she looked like she had a little extra, but nothing I couldn't deal with. In person, though, she was considerably overweight. Great personality, but I can't see her as a long-term girlfriend.
This next girl will be the 4th.
My story so far:
1st date: went very well. Ended with her staying over. However, she was honest about the fact that she had multiple dates lined up with several other guys from the website. A few days after our date, she texted me to say that she felt she had a better connection with a guy she had went out with after me. Dude must have been Podrick Payne in the sack, because I thought I represented myself well.
2nd date: Met her for coffee. I thought things went extremely well. She was laughing the whole time, she was looking at me with this fascinated expression on her face. However, the goodbye at the end of the date was a little awkward. I just went for a hug, but something was off. I texted her the next day, but she never replied. I know she was in the middle of looking for a new apartment and may have just been busy. I'm debating sending her one follow-up. Nothing to lose, and as long as I keep it to just one, I don't think that's creepy at all.
3rd date: This girl definitely had a myspace angle thing going on. In her pic, she looked like she had a little extra, but nothing I couldn't deal with. In person, though, she was considerably overweight. Great personality, but I can't see her as a long-term girlfriend.
This next girl will be the 4th.
el retorno
Member
It's not that difficult man.
Just pick out something that caught your eye in their profile and ask a question. If you can be slightly humorous, that helps too.
I guess I'm still reluctant for the whole thing. It will probably be the only way I meet chicks this summer but I'm still hesitant. I know the whole "you don't have anything to lose" is legit but I've never done anything like it and all the chicks have very rarely reply. Though I think I'm not a bad looking dude so maybe that will help?
I guess this will fit in here. I'll keep it short, and maybe someone could give me some advice.
Met random girl
Had a lot in common.
Went on 4 dates. Pub/Concert/movie/restaurant.
5th time we went to her place
6th time we went for lunch, hung out around the city. Went for supper, went to see a movie, went to her place, and we ended up in bed together.
After that, she got pretty sick and was in the hospital for a few days, but it was out of town and as I don't own a car I couldn't make it to visit her, since it was about 200km from here where her parents also lived. Of course we talked a lot, and texted back and forth. We really hit it off and we both really liked each other (or at least she said she did...) Them all of the sudden she started ignoring me. After about a month she messages me and we talked a bit about random things, nothing too exciting anyways. But yeah, I deadly starting to get feelings for her, it was the first time since me and my ex broke up that I actually felt good with someone else. So yeah, I still really like this girl.. And I'd like to try again, although I have the fear of being rejected, so i don't know how to do this, what to say. It if i should just assume it's over? I did want to ask her out to see a band play in July, and i probably will. But i really want to see her again, and maybe continue where we left off.. It has been just over 2 months though, but i know she's still single. What would GAF do!?
Also, she still has my harry potter blu ray box:-(
Met random girl
Had a lot in common.
Went on 4 dates. Pub/Concert/movie/restaurant.
5th time we went to her place
6th time we went for lunch, hung out around the city. Went for supper, went to see a movie, went to her place, and we ended up in bed together.
After that, she got pretty sick and was in the hospital for a few days, but it was out of town and as I don't own a car I couldn't make it to visit her, since it was about 200km from here where her parents also lived. Of course we talked a lot, and texted back and forth. We really hit it off and we both really liked each other (or at least she said she did...) Them all of the sudden she started ignoring me. After about a month she messages me and we talked a bit about random things, nothing too exciting anyways. But yeah, I deadly starting to get feelings for her, it was the first time since me and my ex broke up that I actually felt good with someone else. So yeah, I still really like this girl.. And I'd like to try again, although I have the fear of being rejected, so i don't know how to do this, what to say. It if i should just assume it's over? I did want to ask her out to see a band play in July, and i probably will. But i really want to see her again, and maybe continue where we left off.. It has been just over 2 months though, but i know she's still single. What would GAF do!?
Also, she still has my harry potter blu ray box:-(
you dun goofed. Don't lend things to anyone. A girl asked if she could borrow my copy of Mario Galaxy 2, I said HELL NAW. Send her a message and see what's up, doesn't hurt to try.
I don't want to stealth brag, but I just officially started dating the girl that I met about a month ago on OKC.. things have been amazing so far and we just made it official. I wanted to post this just to give another example to not give up hope and to keep plugging away! I sent out hundreds of messages with no replies or conversations that died after 2-3 messages, but after a few weeks with no luck I messaged her and she was the first girl that I ended up going out with from the site. It is possible guys, and when it works its a pretty damn good feeling Best of luck to everyone in this thread and hopefully I won't have to use the site again for a while if things go well.
Best of luck to everyone in this thread and hopefully I won't have to use the site again for a while if things go well.starchild excalibur
Member
rugioh: way to go!
Haven't posted in this thread in a while, but I'm in a relationship with a girl I met on there about a month ago. Bummer is she lives about 40 minutes away and we both work full-time, so can only see each other on the weekends.
Still, after a few OKC accounts and months of intermittent use it's still a little weird to think that I'm actually in a relationship with someone off that site. It can happen, guys. In my case it just started with me hitting her up on chat.
Haven't posted in this thread in a while, but I'm in a relationship with a girl I met on there about a month ago. Bummer is she lives about 40 minutes away and we both work full-time, so can only see each other on the weekends.
Still, after a few OKC accounts and months of intermittent use it's still a little weird to think that I'm actually in a relationship with someone off that site. It can happen, guys. In my case it just started with me hitting her up on chat.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Attention black guys. You're fucked.
Oh, also, if you're NOT a white guy, you're also fucked mainly because white dominates the site.
Actually, I just found both of these articles funny. Even the founder of the site was pissed to find out race was an issue. The claim is that OKC has a younger and more progressive generation where things like race mattered less. Obviously this appears to be bullshit... or is it? For one thing, whites outnumber other races. I wonder if the numbers would look similar if all the other races had roughly the same number? That's why I found the stats fascinating.
Oh, also, if you're NOT a white guy, you're also fucked mainly because white dominates the site.
Actually, I just found both of these articles funny. Even the founder of the site was pissed to find out race was an issue. The claim is that OKC has a younger and more progressive generation where things like race mattered less. Obviously this appears to be bullshit... or is it? For one thing, whites outnumber other races. I wonder if the numbers would look similar if all the other races had roughly the same number? That's why I found the stats fascinating.
Here's an interesting article to read:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/online-dating-advice-exactly-what-to-say-in-a-first-message/
That goes for anyone here. Just some tips to help refine your first message to girls.
WascallyWabbit
Member
Nice job rugioh and starchild.
Shit man, that stuff upsets me being an Asian dude, so I'm not even gonna read it.
Shit man, that stuff upsets me being an Asian dude, so I'm not even gonna read it.
I'm pretty sure that heavily depends on the area you live in. Areas with strong minority presence will probably show less racial favouritism, would be my guess.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Totally. Here in South California, being latino literally does not matter
el retorno
Member
I'm gonna do it I just gotta work up something not boring.
how low you guys go on the percentages?
like what is the lowest match percentage you message?
also what the difference between match and friend?
Jack Remington
Banned
So when a girl doesn't reply after a date that otherwise seemed to go very well, is it considered bad form to send ONE follow-up after several days/weeks have gone by?
Obviously more than one follow-up would get creepy, but what do you think of just sending one?
I know some people would say, "Her silence is your answer," but it's possible that people get busy, forget to respond, and then after a few days have passed, decide against replying.
Obviously more than one follow-up would get creepy, but what do you think of just sending one?
I know some people would say, "Her silence is your answer," but it's possible that people get busy, forget to respond, and then after a few days have passed, decide against replying.
el retorno
Member
One I don't think is bad I mean I do agree she's given an answer but I don't think its wrong to send one. Weeks later is probably pushing it.
I'd send one follow-up. One is okay. Just don't bring up like "why aren't you texting it went so well", just pretend like you guys are still on good terms and go on normally. if she doesn't respond to that/says something else, then there you go.
butzopower
proud of his butz
Seems like ladies love emoticons. I don't think I can do it. I can't throw all my values out.
Match = percentage of likelihood that you are a romantic match with the person. Relationship compatibility.
Friend = percentage of likelihood of just platonic friendship.
Example.
Girl's stats are:
Match 60%
Friend 90%
It's more likely that you'd be friends with this girl than be romantically involved based on her personality/answers to questions.
Me personally, I haven't ever messaged anyone lower than 80%. Sometimes I find really attractive women under 80% but after reading their profile I see why their percentage is so low for me lol.
Agree 100%. 1 follow-up, then move on.
False Witness
Member
Get ready for a ton of that shit. Emoticons and lols everywhere, even when texting people who type long paragraphs with proper grammar.
I'm kinda fucked when it comes to this, my area is like 95% white.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Changed profile photo.
Visitors in the past hour: 5.
But I liked my Jurassic Park logo!
Visitors in the past hour: 5.
But I liked my Jurassic Park logo!
butzopower
proud of his butz
I guess it's always been there, I just never noticed it until recently. I'm just worried I come across as a cold motherfucker for not using them, but maybe I am?
False Witness
Member
Heh, you should be fine.
Something that can make you come across as cold is if you have the same problem that I tend to have: I pretty much never complement people.
Had somebody from halfway across the continent rate me. Wat. I'll take the compliment I guess! She's cute, too.
Anyway, disabled my account for now while I'm seeing this girl off OKC some more. She disabled hers too, for what it's worth. Adding to the success stories on this page haha.
Anyway, disabled my account for now while I'm seeing this girl off OKC some more. She disabled hers too, for what it's worth. Adding to the success stories on this page haha.
Buckethead
Banned
Anyone have experience going out with High % Match, Low % Friend people?
How did it go?
How did it go?
butzopower
proud of his butz
Have been seeing a girl from OKC a bit now, too, but haven't disabled my account and don't intend to. Not sure if she's gonna stay on either, since we've avoided talking about it mostly. I never knew how I'd feel in a situation like this, but I mostly feel unfazed by it. So add this as a success story that is teetering on eventually going downhill with hopefully little fallout. That's what the short-term dating option means, right?
donkey show
Member
Hahaha, as an asian-american/pacific islander living in the UK, I totally know those feels. One thing I had been doing to possibly increase my chances in getting a reply back is to focus on girls who have some kind of liking towards asian food, traveling, games, anime, etc. xD It's been somewhat successful for what it's worth.
That said, still going out with the girl from OKC I met earlier last month and it's been fucking awesome. She cut her vacation short to see me yesterday. Good times indeed. :3
WascallyWabbit
Member
Personally, once I'm on the date, I have never once thought about our match rating or friend %
Cow Mengde
Banned
That really doesn't matter when you're on a date. Interacting in person is very different from being online.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I glance at the numbers, but don't hold much stock in them. I virtually never look at the the questions/personality tabs unless it's someone I know I have no interest in and want to see the differences between us I just feel like they can be hugely misleading before meeting someone in person.
WascallyWabbit
Member
I definitely have a few dealbreaker questions like that one, as well as ones about religion and the "which is bigger, the earth or the sun?" lol
But once I'm on a date? Probably the farthest thing from my mind
Shotgun Kiss
Member
A few days ago, I got a reply to a message I sent to a girl several weeks ago. She apologised for the delay, and said it's because she doesn't use OKCupid anymore, and only did so recently because somebody in real life reminded her about it.
She responded pretty positively to my message, and even said my profile made her laugh ("in a good way"). She said she'd love to chat sometime.
I then sent her a message back, asking her a bit more, such as where she worked, to which she replied, and asked what I did.
I sent her a message back, and haven't heard back since. She hasn't even been online since then. That was almost a week ago. Under most circumstamces, I'd shrug it off, but the fact that she hasn't been online, and has already said she didn't really use OKC anymore, means I'm wondering if she just forgot.
The thing is, while I don't know her number, I know her name, and where she works (it's right around the corner from where I work). Would it be creepy to leave a brief letter for her, just to give her my number? I'd probably wait another week or so before doing that though.
She responded pretty positively to my message, and even said my profile made her laugh ("in a good way"). She said she'd love to chat sometime.
I then sent her a message back, asking her a bit more, such as where she worked, to which she replied, and asked what I did.
I sent her a message back, and haven't heard back since. She hasn't even been online since then. That was almost a week ago. Under most circumstamces, I'd shrug it off, but the fact that she hasn't been online, and has already said she didn't really use OKC anymore, means I'm wondering if she just forgot.
The thing is, while I don't know her number, I know her name, and where she works (it's right around the corner from where I work). Would it be creepy to leave a brief letter for her, just to give her my number? I'd probably wait another week or so before doing that though.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked