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[killertofu]

I don't know if you guys missed my thread yesterday but one of the girls that I've been messaging happens to frequent the Gone Wild subreddit.

Our conversation has gotten a lot more interesting...

 

[WascallyWabbit]

So a girl with no profile or information has messaged me thinking it would be cool to hang out. She's got a profile pic and looks cute and everything, I'm just not sure how best to approach a reply to someone that tells me so little about themselves. Should I ask her what she likes, or go straight into suggesting we hang out, or what?

first things first: make sure you reverse google image search her photos, make sure she's a real person

 

[(._.)]

I don't know if you guys missed my thread yesterday but one of the girls that I've been messaging happens to frequent the Gone Wild subreddit.

Our conversation has gotten a lot more interesting...

Have been in similar situations twice. Didn't meet on okcupid though.

One was semi-famous on 4chan who had tons of nudes and had a small following on some of the boards. Found out just a little bit before our first date and kept it to myself obviously. We went out once and that was it. Didn't have much in common and we both weren't really into each other.

Second one was tumblr famous. LONG fucken story LOL. Story short though, she broke my heart.

Don't automatically assume they have interest in having sex with you just because they get naked on the internet. It's getting more and more common these days. They're doing it for themselves and nothing more so don't treat her any differently or assume anything because of it.

 

[killertofu]

Have been in similar situations twice. Didn't meet on okcupid though.

One was semi-famous on 4chan who had tons of nudes and had a small following on some of the boards. Found out just a little bit before our first date and kept it to myself obviously. We went out once and that was it. Didn't have much in common and we both weren't really into each other.

Second one was tumblr famous. LONG fucken story LOL. Story short though, she broke my heart.

Don't automatically assume they have interest in having sex with you just because they get naked on the internet. It's getting more and more common these days. They're doing it for themselves and nothing more so don't treat her any differently or assume anything because of it.

Yeah I kind of feel like I shouldn't have said anything but it was just so werirdly coincidental (I never go on Reddit)

Ergh, she's super hot though

 

[(._.)]

Yeah I kind of feel like I shouldn't have said anything but it was just so werirdly coincidental (I never go on Reddit)

Ergh, she's super hot though

Maybe it wont weigh on her, or even better, she'll find it arousing? either way, it really just depends on how you brought it into the conversation, what she looks for, and how things were hitting off between you two before you mentioned it. Nothing is black and white. By the way you're slightly putting her on a pedestal for it on here leads me to assume the way in which you brought it up to her probably wasn't very attractive. Who knows though? Use your utmost best judgment when it comes to stuff like that if you're serious about really wanting to get to know her. keep us updated if you don't mind. I'm interested in how it plays out for you.

 

[killertofu]

Maybe it wont weigh on her, or even better, she'll find it arousing? either way, it really just depends on how you brought it into the conversation, what she looks for, and how things were hitting off between you two before you mentioned it. Nothing is black and white. By the way you're slightly putting her on a pedestal for it on here leads me to assume the way in which you brought it up to her probably wasn't very attractive. Who knows though? Use your utmost best judgment when it comes to stuff like that if you're serious about really wanting to get to know her. keep us updated if you don't mind. I'm interested in how it plays out for you.

I mean I'm not really looking for anything. I was just bored and wanted to check it out. Not really looking to date at the moment, it was just a REALLY weird coincidence about everything

 

[Zod the Bear]

Let us know how it turns out!

Also, copying this over since it ended up right at the end of the last page:

Anyone mind giving me some profile criticism? I'm giving the site another shot. Tried to rework it a bit from the last time I tried this since I didn't have any luck, but I could definitely use some profile tips. (Quote for link.)

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Let us know how it turns out!

Also, copying this over since it ended up right at the end of the last page:

Anyone mind giving me some profile criticism? I'm giving the site another shot. Tried to rework it a bit from the last time I tried this since I didn't have any luck, but I could definitely use some profile tips. (Quote for link.)

looks solid, seems like i rated you already

 

[Decado]

Hey...what do you guys think about overhauling your profile when you're in the middle of chatting with women? I think mine is a bit dull and have updated my profile (just need to copy/paste it in). I just wonder if the girls I'm chatting to will find it a bit weird if i change the text all of a sudden.

I'm also not entirely sure if it is an improvement...just that it's different and hopefully more interesting.

 

[kidtamagotchi]

Weird situation here. A girl kept looking at my profile, so I messaged her asking about her job. She answered it, but she wants me to give her my email address because she is being harassed. This seems fishy to me. Plus the fact that she is WAY taller than me (I don't have a problem with that, but she may have one...if she's real) and we are poor matches for each other percentage wise. Here is the message:

Hey there! Glad that you liked my profile, the feeling is mutual by the way! I just help people who lack style/are too lazy/ are too rich help shop basically It’s not going too great unfortunately, been having some bad times on the site :S One guy here keeps harassing me and he’s making new accounts when I block him. I think I'm leaving cause it’s getting really frustrating, but I’d like to get to know you better because you seem like an interesting guy + you are really handsome Would you mind giving me your mail so we could keep in touch?

What should I do?

 

[Decado]

I don't see what the big deal is. You can simply create a new email address if you want to meet her. If you don't, don't reply.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

So, was talking to this girl that has "actually send me messages other than one sentence" and she's responding with one sentence in each response. It's.... yeah.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Weird situation here. A girl kept looking at my profile, so I messaged her asking about her job. She answered it, but she wants me to give her my email address because she is being harassed. This seems fishy to me. Plus the fact that she is WAY taller than me (I don't have a problem with that, but she may have one...if she's real) and we are poor matches for each other percentage wise. Here is the message:



What should I do?

Make a new fake e-mail address and go from there.

 

[Oblivion]

So I had a date with this chick I was talking to from OKC for like a month. It went pretty well! She's pretty great. Very smart, great conversationalist, have a lot in common, just awesome all around. Oh, and also she has an ample pair of casabas, which is ALWAYS a plus.

We're supposed to go see IM3 next week. Things seem to be looking up. But that's what I thought when I had my last date with that mild, who didn't bother calling me again. So we'll see how it goes.

 

[Jimothy]

So, was talking to this girl that has "actually send me messages other than one sentence" and she's responding with one sentence in each response. It's.... yeah.

Yeah, it's like pulling teeth with a lot of the girls on the site. Like, I usually get messaged back a lot, but it always feels like I have to drive the conversation single handedly. I usually end my messages with a question in an attempt to dig deeper into them, but I hardly ever have have girl ask a question about me. It's honestly getting kind of tiresome.

 

[Smiley90]

Made an account on beautifulpeople just for shits and giggles... I'm okay with this.

 

[stn]

Man, I got accepted to that yesterday. There's nothing there unless you either pay or verify your account (which I'm planning to do). Then I get some gorgeous girls from halfway across the world looking at my profile and I just wanna grab some lotion and...yeah, its a big tease.

 

[Smiley90]

Man, I got accepted to that yesterday. There's nothing there unless you either pay or verify your account (which I'm planning to do). Then I get some gorgeous girls from halfway across the world looking at my profile and I just wanna grab some lotion and...yeah, its a big tease.

Haha yeah I'm not actually gonna use it. I just signed up to see what'd happen LOL.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Man, I got accepted to that yesterday. There's nothing there unless you either pay or verify your account (which I'm planning to do). Then I get some gorgeous girls from halfway across the world looking at my profile and I just wanna grab some lotion and...yeah, its a big tease.

Yeah, everyone just signed up for shits and giggles. Even people who aren't single.

 

[dralla]

Kinda crazy that 19 year olds can hold a conversation better than girls in their mid-late twenties. I especially love when a girl specifically says they need someone who can hold a convo in their profile, but when you talk to them it's one sentence answers.

 

[(._.)]

Kinda crazy that 19 year olds can hold a conversation better than girls in their mid-late twenties. I especially love when a girl specifically says they need someone who can hold a convo in their profile, but when you talk to them it's one sentence answers.

I've encountered girls like that on this site. They put that there because they have godawful conversation skills themselves and they think that because every one they're in dies it's because of the other person, not them.

 

[stn]

A girl who puts that demand in her bio appears as if she is able to hold a conversation, thus she can hold such a demand. I have found that this is RARELY the case, lol. Say you see a profile where a girl writes that "humor" is one of her strong traits. To me, a better way of justifying this statement is by putting some humor in the profile, as opposed to just stating that you're good at it.

EDIT: I pretty much stop responding the moment I get lame answers or something uninspired. I don't believe its my duty to pull all the weight just because I'm a man.

 

[Smiley90]

So, I got approved to the beautifulpeople site.. I click around... and the VERY first profile I get to approve/not approve is.... Leeness's. I'm not even joking LOL.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

So, I got approved to the beautifulpeople site.. I click around... and the VERY first profile I get to approve/not approve is.... Leeness's. I'm not even joking LOL.

clearly, you two are soul mates

 

[Smiley90]

clearly, you two are soul mates

More has something to do with both of us being from the same city, I'd say.

 

[Jimothy]

bleh

 

[Leeness]

Seriously...what in the world...

This guy contacted me a while ago, and after two messages said "hey how about I hook you up with my buddy?"

I said, uh, this is super awkward.

He said "I know but just go with it".

I stopped replying. That was like, two weeks ago.

He just contacted me again with "I'll give you his digits, cool?"

:/

 

[-tetsuo-]

So, I got approved to the beautifulpeople site.. I click around... and the VERY first profile I get to approve/not approve is.... Leeness's. I'm not even joking LOL.

So... what did you vote.

Seriously...what in the world...

This guy contacted me a while ago, and after two messages said "hey how about I hook you up with my buddy?"

I said, uh, this is super awkward.

He said "I know but just go with it".

I stopped replying. That was like, two weeks ago.

He just contacted me again with "I'll give you his digits, cool?"

:/

Sounds legit.

 

[Leeness]

Sounds legit.

Yeah, definitely...

Smiley, just saw that. Haha awesome. I'm not gonna check mine until tomorrow, ~I don't want to know yet~. Still 24 hours or something left.

 

[butzopower]

Seriously...what in the world...

This guy contacted me a while ago, and after two messages said "hey how about I hook you up with my buddy?"

I said, uh, this is super awkward.

He said "I know but just go with it".

I stopped replying. That was like, two weeks ago.

He just contacted me again with "I'll give you his digits, cool?"

:/

The girl I've been seeing off OKC showed me this insane message she got last night. I kid you not, something like 7 or 8 paragraphs, and at the end he suggests his friend if you aren't into what he's got going. Pretty sure he admits in the message that he copy pastes this to everyone as well, which I guess would make me feel less creeped out if I got something like that. Reminded me of the recruiter spam I get from LinkedIn.

 

[WascallyWabbit]

Seriously...what in the world...

This guy contacted me a while ago, and after two messages said "hey how about I hook you up with my buddy?"

I said, uh, this is super awkward.

He said "I know but just go with it".

I stopped replying. That was like, two weeks ago.

He just contacted me again with "I'll give you his digits, cool?"

:/

What if his buddy was Smiley90?!? That would be incredible

 

[butzopower]

Feel like you should know better than to ever say "I know but just go with it" on a dating site.

 

[Smiley90]

What if his buddy was Smiley90?!? That would be incredible

:lol no

 

[Leeness]

Just an odd situation all around really...

Feel like you should know better than to ever say "I know but just go with it" on a dating site.

Haha, yeah. "Lets meet in a back alley! I know that sounds weird, but just go with it!"

 

[stn]

Leeness - I just spotted you on BP. Gave you a "beautiful" rating.

 

[Spunky Monkey]

So i totally updated my profile by making a brand new one here - http://www.okcupid.com/profile/adventure_box

And still no replies ever ever ever ever. Quite a few people look but never reply. I don't expect replies off everyone, but seriously how hard is it for someone to just think 'They seem pretty normal, lets just send a reply back and see what happens'.

Are the girls on here only looking for what they presume is their perfect guy? Maybe its all about looks and not being out of their league is my issue.

I just wish i knew why no one was replying, just a reason would be nice.

Part of me has noticed OKC screwing with things though. The attractive people are starting to disappear to be filled with lots of ugly and fat people and my views are now going down a lot more compared to when i first started the profile. Part of me also wonders if i start paying if i'll start getting more replies as a better quality of person will start seeing my profile.

But until i do that, if i do that, is there anything wrong with my profile? Cos at the moment it feels like i've put 'Oh btw, im a rapist' on it as no one is replying.

 

[stn]

Take out everything associated with gaming. Your profile is fine and normal otherwise. Are girls not replying? Who cares, don't get attached to why. Don't think you're the problem. Keep the profile there and go out and meet women.

Becoming mentally attached to a dating profile is always bad news.

 

[Smiley90]

Take out everything associated with gaming. Your profile is fine and normal otherwise. Are girls not replying? Who cares, don't get attached to why. Don't think you're the problem. Keep the profile there and go out and meet women.

Becoming mentally attached to a dating profile is always bad news.

If you're looking for something lasting, I'll always advice against this. Be proud of what you like, you'll have to tell them eventually anyway. Wouldn't you want someone who also likes games/is okay with you gaming anyway? Unless you're just looking for something casual/short-term, I'd leave it in.

 

[Spunky Monkey]

Sadly for me i've never been able to meet women offline. It has always either been online or through someone i met online and ive met a lot of people off the internet, some great friends and some wonderful girlfriends. Im fine if we have a common connection, eg a friend but right now i have no friends having moved to SF. Making friends when you don't work or know anyone is incredibly tough and i don't have the confidence or people to give me confidence to just chat to random girls on the street. I wouldn't know what to say as an opener, i think they'd just think im a creep or something but i KNOW you are right in what you say.

 

[stn]

Smiley - I hear you. The thing is, its better to cover gaming after meeting the girl in person. Putting it in your profile will make other girls reject you just because. People have short attention spans and the slightest thing can make them pass over a profile. Let the girl figure out you're a gamer after you meet her.

But I bet every girl who sees gaming imagines the guy as staying home every Friday and gaming for 20 hours while eating chips and not showering. Its wrong but it happens. But yes, I agree with you.

 

[Trez]

I've hit it off with 2 girls of roughly the same age, we all agreed that it was awkward meeting through the site though hahah..

Both are away on vacation now, both are cute, and both want to meet up soon. I'm sensing it's going to be difficult to choose..

 

[butzopower]

Sadly for me i've never been able to meet women offline. It has always either been online or through someone i met online and ive met a lot of people off the internet, some great friends and some wonderful girlfriends. Im fine if we have a common connection, eg a friend but right now i have no friends having moved to SF. Making friends when you don't work or know anyone is incredibly tough and i don't have the confidence or people to give me confidence to just chat to random girls on the street. I wouldn't know what to say as an opener, i think they'd just think im a creep or something but i KNOW you are right in what you say.

I aint a lady, but I live in SF if you were looking to hang out with someone, grab a pint or something (it's 66% likely we'd be friends!). I recently got back on OKC in the past 2 months, and I haven't been super successful either, I guess, though more successful than before.

Nitpicking your profile a bit:

* As petty as this seems, don't say "San Fran" on your profile, or pretty much anywhere around anyone in SF. I don't seriously think this could be causing you grief, but I also wouldn't past some people.

* Might drop the "flipping massive" and just make it "massive".

* The stuff you mention about gaming is totally fine, I think. It's not going to hurt your chances in SF, and for a decent amount of women here, they'll be more interested.

I've hit it off with 2 girls of roughly the same age, we all agreed that it was awkward meeting through the site though hahah..

Both are away on vacation now, both are cute, and both want to meet up soon. I'm sensing it's going to be difficult to choose..

Who says you have to choose?

 

[Trez]

I aint a lady, but I live in SF if you were looking to hang out with someone, grab a pint or something (it's 66% likely we'd be friends!). I recently got back on OKC in the past 2 months, and I haven't been super successful either, I guess, though more successful than before.

Nitpicking your profile a bit:

* As petty as this seems, don't say "San Fran" on your profile, or pretty much anywhere around anyone in SF. I don't seriously think this could be causing you grief, but I also wouldn't past some people.

* Might drop the "flipping massive" and just make it "massive".

* The stuff you mention about gaming is totally fine, I think. It's not going to hurt your chances in SF, and for a decent amount of women here, they'll be more interested.




Who says you have to choose?

I could either interpret this as they could both dislike me in real life or as an awesome late night activity suggestion.

 

[butzopower]

I could either interpret this as they could both dislike me in real life or as an awesome late night activity suggestion.

Oh, have you not met either yet? When you said "met through the site", I thought you meant actually met up with. What I meant was go on dates with both. If both work out, keep dating both, at least for a bit, as I'm sure they'll be dating other people, too.

 

[False Witness]

Yeah, don't be afraid of trying out multiple people at once. The girls are likely doing the same thing. On that note, if you're really feeling a connection with someone, don't be afraid to try and lock her in. If you don't, someone else will. I've learned that the hard way.

 

[Trez]

Oh, have you not met either yet? When you said "met through the site", I thought you meant actually met up with. What I meant was go on dates with both. If both work out, keep dating both, at least for a bit, as I'm sure they'll be dating other people, too.

Haven't met them yet no, they're both away until early july..
They want to date though so I'm probably gonna do just that.

 

[dralla]

Haven't met them yet no, they're both away until early july..
They want to date though so I'm probably gonna do just that.

You're gonna date someone you haven't even met?

 

[vatstep]

Had my first "bad" date yesterday, but it really wasn't catastrophic or anything. She just came off differently than she did online. Within three minutes after meeting she was practically grilling me about where I work, what I do, where I went to school, etc.; felt more like a job interview or something. She has several degrees, a really good job, and seems very ambitious, so that alone makes her quite a bit different than me. She was otherwise nice, and cute, but it was almost immediately clear that there was nothing there to build on.

Again, it really wasn't even a bad experience, but I guess I've just been lucky up to this point to have had pretty good connections personality-wise with the other women I've met.

 

[Trez]

You're gonna date someone you haven't even met?

Well yeah that pretty much sums up the experience with Okc right? The first meet. Maybe both dates will be a failure in the first few minutes, who knows.

 

[Leeness]

A boy and I have been having a conversation all in Simpsons quotes.

We should get married.