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[vatstep]

Three of my last four dates have canceled on me at the last minute. I'm on a roll!

Looks like I've earned a "replies very selectively" rating, because I kind of don't care much about the site or dating right now (in fact, I was kind of relieved when my last two dates canceled). Unanswered messages are piling up. I wonder if that causes women who may be apt to message first to act any differently? As a guy, it means nothing when I see it on a profile — I expect most if not all women to have it.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm becoming frustrated with the site.

I've updated my photos. Gives some idea that I travel. I have a dog. I'm active.

For my profile I've attempt written a lot, I've thinned it out, but it doesn't seem to matter.

I've sent long thoughtful messages and I've massed emailed with thoughtless cut and paste.

Still no one is bitting.

I guess it is time to do a 1000 situps a day and put some ab photos on there...

I know that feel bro and it sucks. I've been thinking about maybe having a shirtless picture (I'm fit/toned). Maybe you should try the app's broadcasting feature to cut the fat of having to message so many chicks assuming you live in a big city. Online dating is very much hit or miss. I'm guessing you've been hitting up chicks you normally wouldn't be interested in as well?

EDIT: Just read your post in the Dating-Age thread. Being in your 30s and trying online dating must be much tougher. I'm in my mid 20s and it's been no dice. Maybe you should try meetup.com and meet people in person if online dating is your sole way of meeting women at the moment. Online dating is meant to be used as a secondary way to meet women, not a primary way.

I never used the app and only looked at the website. I just started and the broadcast thing worked out whilst I was in LA for a few days on holiday.

Met up with a rock chick, who took me to some cool bars (Rainbow bar, where I met Ron Jeremy who is a friend of hers). Few strange events during the night and morning, but ended with some lovely happy time in my room (lost my v-card, yay).

Will definitely be trying it when I am back in London.

That's exactly the kind of thing I was expecting to hear; having a crazy a crazy adventure and meeting Ron Jeremy of all people. He probably told you that you gonna get laid even though I'm sure you had absolutely no expectations. I'm definitely going to try it soon for sure when I have absolutely nothing better to do. So once somebody answers your broadcast, does the app let you know?

Also obligatory:

 

[element]

I know that feel bro and it sucks. I've been thinking about maybe having a shirtless picture (I'm fit/toned). Maybe you should try the app's broadcasting feature to cut the fat of having to message so many chicks assuming you live in a big city. Online dating is very much hit or miss. I'm guessing you've been hitting up chicks you normally wouldn't be interested in as well?

I try to read people's profile to see if there is even some type of similar interest. It becomes even more frustrating when someone does have similar interest and they mail back with "I don't think we have a lot in common.", which really just translates to "I don't find you attractive." I've even messaged people who I think are just cool and I'd like to know who are also looking for "New Friends", and still get shut down. Blah.

EDIT: Just read your post in the Dating-Age thread. Being in your 30s and trying online dating must be much tougher. I'm in my mid 20s and it's been no dice. Maybe you should try meetup.com and meet people in person if online dating is your sole way of meeting women at the moment. Online dating is meant to be used as a secondary way to meet women, not a primary way.

I've used the broadcast feature before and never actual met someone from it. Of course there doesn't seem to be a lot of women who use it here in Seattle.

 

[BoboBrazil]

Don't know if you guys have seen this yet, but kind of shows what you are up against on this site.

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/ten-fake-profiles-one-okcupid-experiment-okcupid-on-trial/1405

The number of men far outweigh the women and even the attractive men don't get that many hits. Pretty much unless you are proactively out there trying to message everything under the sun and lower your standards online dating is much worse than striking up a conversation with someone in public. Also, another day another obese woman messaging me. Surprise.

 

[TheKyle07]

Three of my last four dates have canceled on me at the last minute. I'm on a roll!

Looks like I've earned a "replies very selectively" rating, because I kind of don't care much about the site or dating right now (in fact, I was kind of relieved when my last two dates canceled). Unanswered messages are piling up. I wonder if that causes women who may be apt to message first to act any differently? As a guy, it means nothing when I see it on a profile — I expect most if not all women to have it.

I noticed that I received a lot less messages when I had a red dot. Curious to know if that's usual or not. Let me know how it goes for you.

 

[butzopower]

How do you know what color your dot is?

 

[UFRA]

How do you know what color your dot is?

Post here and we'll take a look for you.

 

[Jhoan]

Finally got a reply back from a thicker chick (I find a little bit of fat on the stomach to be a turn on). I asked her something about her profile and it looks like she's very interested in me that she sent me two replies back; one answering my question and another jumping through one of my You Should Message Me If hoops (one them is if you can punny joke). I think her profile is very interesting; she's a Harry Potter fan among other things.

I took a screen grab of it so you guys can see. Hopefully it doesn't fizzle and it actually leads somewhere for a change:

 

[stn]

Just a general response to a few posts above.

You've made your profile. You put up a nice pic. You wrote elaborate details about yourself. Still nothing? Who cares! Is it you? NO! Seriously, online dating is the worst of the worst for that stuff.

Half of the girls are there to boost their egos or to see how many guys like them, the others are there out of boredom. You know how many girls I see on OKC who write "looking for a good conversation" and yet they reply "very selectively"? You would think girls actually looking for conversation would reply to well-thought messages and requests.

Its all bullshit. Not to mention its generally harder for guys to get attention. At this very moment I have a girl who is wasting time viewing my profile on multiple occasions and yet won't even reply to my random message. I dumbed down my profile a lot and I'm still getting just as many replies as before. In fact, I'm planning to run a lil' experiment by putting "I want sex" all over my profile. I bet I'll still get views.

Anyway, point is never waste any time thinking about online dating. It can be good but its not worth stressing over.

P.S. Wish me luck. Meeting a girl this week.

 

[element]

Don't know if you guys have seen this yet, but kind of shows what you are up against on this site.

http://www.zdnet.com/blog/violetblue/ten-fake-profiles-one-okcupid-experiment-okcupid-on-trial/1405

The number of men far outweigh the women and even the attractive men don't get that many hits. Pretty much unless you are proactively out there trying to message everything under the sun and lower your standards online dating is much worse than striking up a conversation with someone in public. Also, another day another obese woman messaging me. Surprise.

I posted that earlier in the thread.

 

[Jhoan]

Got a second reply back. She's definitely interested in me. She's pretty happy that she passed my test. There seems to be flirting at play that she winked at me when she said that. Lives with a room mate (I live with my mother and bro); I'm getting bits and pieces so far. I think things are going to go well. I'll keep you guys posted as it continues to develop. Thick chick or not, it's definitely a start.

stn, you speak the truth. Online dating is definitely not worth stressing over especially when many chicks get their egos stroke when dudes hit them up. Good luck on the date man. I'm looking forward to hearing all about it.

 

[Cow Mengde]

I'm becoming frustrated with the site.

I've updated my photos. Gives some idea that I travel. I have a dog. I'm active.

For my profile I've attempt written a lot, I've thinned it out, but it doesn't seem to matter.

I've sent long thoughtful messages and I've massed emailed with thoughtless cut and paste.

Still no one is bitting.

I guess it is time to do a 1000 situps a day and put some ab photos on there...

I've read that if you're not white, chances of getting a reply back is so much worse.

 

[-tetsuo-]

I've read that if you're not white, chances of getting a reply back is so much worse.

I'm black and I am whiter than most white people. I wonder how things will work out for me.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

For some reason, the KW/Waterloo area has the highest percentage of bbw/curvy chicks I've ever seen. Go for it if that's what you like (otherwise sticking with pof)

 

[Commander Jameson]

That's exactly the kind of thing I was expecting to hear; having a crazy a crazy adventure and meeting Ron Jeremy of all people. He probably told you that you gonna get laid even though I'm sure you had absolutely no expectations. I'm definitely going to try it soon for sure when I have absolutely nothing better to do. So once somebody answers your broadcast, does the app let you know?

Also obligatory:

Thanks. Pleased to lose that "oldest virgin on GAF" tag. Certainly had no expectations of anything like that. Funnily enough, RJ is actually a friend of the girl I hooked up with. He offered to give us a lift back after the bar had closed if we couldn't find a taxi. Nice guy.

Someone just messages you if they are interested rather than answering the broadcast.

I spent most of my vacation trying to use the website rather than app, so didn't broadcast anything until I noticed the app does things the website doesn't (like the Locals swipe-to-like thing). I missed out on a couple of potential dates in Australia where I was before coming to SF/LA.

 

[element]

I decided to try out the A-List membership for the hell of it. Not sure if I'm happy or pissed. Now I get to see everyone who reads my emails but doesn't reply.

Thinking of changing my name.

 

[kai3345]

Man I have had zero luck with this site for the past few months. When I first started using it about a year ago I was having tons of success with meeting people, going on dates and getting laid. Heck, I'm even still friends irl with one of the girls i met. But lately I've been on a huge dry spell. I've gotten maybe 2 responses total in the amount of messages ive sent since January, let a lone dates. You guys have any tips for dealing with a dry spell?

 

[Jimothy]

I kind of hate dating. It's so goddamn tedious. Just went on a second date with a girl and only got a hug at the end. What do I have to do to get laid. jesus fuck

 

[False Witness]

I kind of hate dating. It's so goddamn tedious. Just went on a second date with a girl and only got a hug at the end. What do I have to do to get laid. jesus fuck

Well, I've been kissing on the first date, getting laid the next time I meet up with the girl, and then she'll disappear on me completely. It's happened a few times now and I'm kind of getting sick of it. Of course, I'm not the best at showing interest (apparently... kind of figured the first two covered that part, along with the back and forth texting)... guess I just need to find different girls.

 

[Jzero]

I clicked the 'Located Anywhere' tab in the matches section and all the top results were canadian haha. Looks like it's time to move.

 

[dutchguyjack]

I kind of hate dating. It's so goddamn tedious. Just went on a second date with a girl and only got a hug at the end. What do I have to do to get laid. jesus fuck

Stop going on evening dates. Start early in the day (say noon) and have lots of activities planned.

 

[jamesinclair]

Man I have had zero luck with this site for the past few months. When I first started using it about a year ago I was having tons of success with meeting people, going on dates and getting laid. Heck, I'm even still friends irl with one of the girls i met. But lately I've been on a huge dry spell. I've gotten maybe 2 responses total in the amount of messages ive sent since January, let a lone dates. You guys have any tips for dealing with a dry spell?

Ive described the website like monsoon season.

Drought followed by torrential rain.

Happened to me. A few months ago I was chatting up three girls, getting laid and having an all around good time.

Nothing since April.

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

I'm becoming frustrated with the site.

I've updated my photos. Gives some idea that I travel. I have a dog. I'm active.

For my profile I've attempt written a lot, I've thinned it out, but it doesn't seem to matter.

I've sent long thoughtful messages and I've massed emailed with thoughtless cut and paste.

Still no one is bitting.

I guess it is time to do a 1000 situps a day and put some ab photos on there...

Hey, same with me. I've gotten one date in like two years on the site. Changed everything around a few times. My area is a bit smaller though, so basically the same girls show up all the time now.

 

[TheApatheticOne]

Well, after probably 4-5 months of nothing... it appears the damn has broke. Met someone yesterday off OKC, very cute, are musical taste are almost too identical, and without knowing me, told me her favorite restaurant was Chipotle and her favorite NFL team is the Colts.

I wanted to marry her right then and there.

Then I get home, and immediately got 3 messages from 3 interesting and/or attractive girls, that are actually holding up their end of our conversations. This is MONTHS after almost nothing. Guess it's my time!

 

[Jimothy]

Just got this message from a girl...

Hi I want to talk to you, so a response is in order. Thanks

okay...

 

[-tetsuo-]

Just got this message from a girl...



okay...

Is she hot tho

 

[Jimothy]

Is she hot tho

 

[Jzero]

Just got this message from a girl...



okay...

Better than all the "Hey " that i always get.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I get "hey I saw your profile and liked it, write me back if you want" a lot.

 

[UFRA]

On my profile, under the "you should message me if" part, one of the points I put was...

"You can come up with something more than just "hi" or "sup"

I can't stand it when people send that shit. I don't care if it was a supermodel writing me, at least show me you read my profile.

 

[Jhoan]

On my profile, under the "you should message me if" part, one of the points I put was...

"You can come up with something more than just "hi" or "sup"

I can't stand it when people send that shit. I don't care if it was a supermodel writing me, at least show me you read my profile.

I dunno man isn't that the same thing as when a guy sends a cookie cutter message? It's copy and pasted laziness on their part. They probably see the pictures and click on the messaging tab right away. It is a very dry message.

The chick I've been going back and forth with said the following earlier which is definitely a green light to meet up. To provide some context, I told her I hadn't been to the beach in over a year and preferred going to pools; she went on Monday :

A year!? thats crazy talk lol. Lets see if we can change that - I think you just erned yourself a mandatory trip to the beach my friend
I am from [redacted]...so of course, pools are great too.

Where in NY are you from?

I replied with the following (edited personal information):

Oh my god! Are taking me out to the beach? I'd be delighted go with you. I hope you can put those underwater basket weaving skills to good use and make some sand castles.

I'm [real name] by the way but my friends call me [nickname]. We should definitely exchange numbers. Mines is [my phone number here].

[chick's hometown]...now it makes total sense why you're addicted to the beach; it's right in the name. I'm from [neighborhood].

 

[butzopower]

Just got this message from a girl...



okay...

She's polite at least.

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

Is it creepy to start a new profile just cause I moved cities? (SoCal to NorCal)

 

[donkey show]

Is it creepy to start a new profile just cause I moved cities? (SoCal to NorCal)

Unless you're checking out the same girls with your new profile, no.

 

[stn]

Jimothy - don't even ask me why I'm saying this but your message sounds a lot like something a 419 scammer would write.

 

[Kozak]

On my profile, under the "you should message me if" part, one of the points I put was...

"You can come up with something more than just "hi" or "sup"

I can't stand it when people send that shit. I don't care if it was a supermodel writing me, at least show me you read my profile.

This is my standard line:

Hi I'm xxxx, hows it going?

It works only if you aren't a bitch and know how to further conversation.

I only skim through profiles because pretty much all the fun of talking to someone new is knowing nothing about them and learning as you go.

 

[Sarye]

I've read that if you're not white, chances of getting a reply back is so much worse.

I'm not white and I found my wife on OkCupid. I know I'm not the norm but at least there's some success on GAF. Also, my friend is asian and is currently engaged to a white girl whom he found on OKCupid. The stats are against you but it's not impossible.

 

[UFRA]

This is my standard line:



It works only if you aren't a bitch and know how to further conversation.

I only skim through profiles because pretty much all the fun of talking to someone new is knowing nothing about them and learning as you go.

That's what the dates are for. The online site is just a tool to get to the dates. "How's it going?" provokes no good conversation, and shows no personal interest to the recipient. Therefore, I conclude they don't give a damn, so neither should I.

In a world of competition, do you want to be the norm or stand out from the rest?

 

[Commander Jameson]

I've read that if you're not white, chances of getting a reply back is so much worse.

This is definitely true, in my experience. There is even a question on there about whether you would date outside your own race.

 

[Kozak]

That's what the dates are for. The online site is just a tool to get to the dates. "How's it going?" provokes no good conversation, and shows no personal interest to the recipient. Therefore, I conclude they don't give a damn, so neither should I.

In a world of competition, do you want to be the norm or stand out from the rest?

I think it completely depends on the person. I feel I'm very great at provoking conversation as well as escalating the conversation.

May sound like a dick but I truly don't care what they wrote on their profile until I've had a good few messages back and forth. After that I decide whether I want to continue on or not.

 

[BoboBrazil]

Writing long drawn out messages is a waste of time when 95% of the time you won't get a response back anyway. Writing something short like 1 or 2 sentences is best usually mentioning something they wrote in their profile like a movie or tv show or something they like doing in real life. Then if they respond you can go into a deeper conversation. No point in wasting time on people that don't give a shit. Also hilarious that most girls write shit like "message me more than hey if you want to talk to me" and then when they message a guy they say shit like "hey" or "hey cutie!"

 

[HP_Wuvcraft]

Unless you're checking out the same girls with your new profile, no.

Yes, that would be quite ridiculous.

 

[UFRA]

Writing long drawn out messages is a waste of time when 95% of the time you won't get a response back anyway. Writing something short like 1 or 2 sentences is best usually mentioning something they wrote in their profile like a movie or tv show or something they like doing in real life. Then if they respond you can go into a deeper conversation. No point in wasting time on people that don't give a shit. Also hilarious that most girls write shit like "message me more than hey if you want to talk to me" and then when they message a guy they say shit like "hey" or "hey cutie!"

I agree on all points.

That's my strategy, basically a simple 1-2 sentences that show I read her profile and I picked out something that was interesting and asked her about it.

 

[(._.)]

Writing long drawn out messages is a waste of time when 95% of the time you won't get a response back anyway. Writing something short like 1 or 2 sentences is best usually mentioning something they wrote in their profile like a movie or tv show or something they like doing in real life. Then if they respond you can go into a deeper conversation. No point in wasting time on people that don't give a shit. Also hilarious that most girls write shit like "message me more than hey if you want to talk to me" and then when they message a guy they say shit like "hey" or "hey cutie!"

I agree. Write no more than four sentences. Usually avoid flattery and compliments.

 

[theignoramus]

POF stays gutter. Gotta make do tho, nobody uses Cupid in my area.
from one profile:

We both love Linkin Park, Country, Rap, and Dubstep. Looking for someone who loves to party, hangs out, laid back, smokes maryjane and likes to cruise. We're not looking for 3somes, or any intimate sexual things, were both best friends and we just love meeting new people. No Natives, No black guys, No Pakis. no offence, but not interested.

lol

 

[Jhoan]

And just like that, I have a date in several hours at a personal favorite bar since I'll be busy the whole weekend and she's going to be extremely busy next week meaning that she won't be available. My first online date in 2 years; the last girl I went out with from OKC was a massive disappointment. She didn't make a good impression on me.

I've set a personal record for dating 2 women in one year. The chick sounds interesting through the texts that we've sent each other as well as her profile so we'll see if she's interesting in person. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

 

[Jimothy]

And just like that, I have a date in several hours at a personal favorite bar since I'll be busy the whole weekend and she's going to be extremely busy next week meaning that she won't be available. My first online date in 2 years; the last girl I went out with from OKC was a massive disappointment. She didn't make a good impression on me.

I've set a personal record for dating 2 women in one year. The chick sounds interesting through the texts that we've sent each other as well as her profile so we'll see if she's interesting in person. I'll let you guys know how it goes.

I never went on a date before I joined OKC. I've been on there a month and have been on 4 dates already, with like 5 other girls waiting in the wings. It's kind of overwhelming. I have no idea what I did to attract these girls.

 

[-tetsuo-]

It is a hard life in the online dating world. I have hooked up with a few girls in the real world since I split with my ex about 2 months ago, but it is a barren wasteland on these sites for me lol. I guess it is kind of a good thing because my utter failure on there has made me more aggressive when I'm out and I've had some decent results.

 

[Jhoan]

I never went on a date before I joined OKC. I've been on there a month and have been on 4 dates already, with like 5 other girls waiting in the wings. It's kind of overwhelming. I have no idea what I did to attract these girls.

Chicks probably hit you up first. I haven't gotten a single message from a chick ever since I made a new account and rewrote my profile several times. I always have to send the first message out.. Women are coming in waves for you man.

 

[kidtamagotchi]

Weird situation here. A girl kept looking at my profile, so I messaged her asking about her job. She answered it, but she wants me to give her my email address because she is being harassed. This seems fishy to me. Plus the fact that she is WAY taller than me (I don't have a problem with that, but she may have one...if she's real) and we are poor matches for each other percentage wise. Here is the message:



What should I do?

Kind of late, and nobody cares, but it was a scam! I reverse googled her profile pic, and there are many places it is used. One link was a page warning about this user being a scam artist going after lonely guys! Frustrating, but oh well.