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[Jzero]

What's your guys' policy on dating more than one girl at the same time? I'm texting a couple girls right now and it's kind of overwhelming. There's one girl in particular that I'm really digging but if she's not as interested in me I want to have a fall back of some sort. Should I keep my options open or just hone in on the one girl?

Do what you feel is right. I personally would talk to one at a time but most people talk to multiple people at the same time.

I'd usually follow this rule too but it was such a quick and casual conversation. such horseshit. I am never getting out of this pit.

Dude you sound so desperate. If you are looking for sex look for a hooker. If not then someone will come eventually.

 

[~Kinggi~]

Dude you sound so desperate. If you are looking for sex look for a hooker. If not then someone will come eventually.

I sound desperate cause GAF is the only place i bother with this stuff. In reality i should be swimming in pussy by GAF standards since im always portraying confidence and stability. What, you guys think i'm this pathetic in person? Hah. I must be right, only explanation for the dating thread.

 

[Smiley90]

I sound desperate cause GAF is the only place i bother with this stuff. In reality i should be swimming in pussy by GAF standards since im always portraying confidence and stability. What, you guys think i'm this pathetic in person? Hah. I must be right, only explanation for the dating thread.

We do not speak of this dark place of PUA's.

 

[wsoxfan1214]

I sound desperate cause GAF is the only place i bother with this stuff. In reality i should be swimming in pussy by GAF standards since im always portraying confidence and stability. What, you guys think i'm this pathetic in person? Hah. I must be right, only explanation for the dating thread.

Accidentally clicked here instead of the NHL topic, but holy shit dude. :lol

Unless I misunderstood your post.

 

[Bleepey]

This is bullshit. If that was the criteria i'd be the grandmaster champion. Seriously.

Me being upset now is because there was exceptionally more than average. I'm used to be being turned down. Now im pissed.

The best advice I can give to deal with the rejection is to find new girls and imagine you had their options, would you be as picky.

 

[C.Dark.DN]

It's unfortante that it's hard to at least make new friends on okc when they only reply once or twice, but it is a dating website, so, whatever.

I just spend a few minutes blindly 5 staring everyone in quickmatch and reply to matches I like that rated me back rather than looking through profiles or waiting for someone to find me. Too much effort when girls have a lot of messages in their inbox and other such things.

 

[PK Gaming]

This old dude in his late 40s keeps messaging me. (3rd time now)

It was kinda flattering(at first), but you should know that I rarely get messages from anyone, so it was disheartening at the same time.

Where are all the hottieeeees

 

[Jhoan]

I got my first message from a chick and it was simply a Hi. How original!

I'll check her profile to check if she seems interesting enough to build a conversation. Disappointed in the message but she probably looked at the pics and messaged me without reading a thing.

 

[Shotgun Kiss]

Just got back from a date with a girl I met on Match.com.

I've had quite a few first dates in the last couple of months, but this was the best one by far. The conversation flowed really smoothly, it lasted three hours (we had dinner, which we finished after 45 minutes, but she kept accepting my offer to get more drinks afterwards), and when I offered to give her a lift home, she said that was really kind of me. When I was giving her a ride back, she said she had a great time tonight, before we even got to hers (maybe I'm reading too much into things, but I think the fact she said that first, and before we were saying goodbye, is a good sign?), and when I did drop her off, she said she was looking forward to meeting again.

I'm hoping we can arrange to meet up again next week.

 

[~Kinggi~]

I got my first message from a chick and it was simply a Hi. How original!

I'll check her profile to check if she seems interesting enough to build a conversation. Disappointed in the message but she probably looked at the pics and messaged me without reading a thing.

Any message i get unsolicited is some stupid fucking 'hi' or another.

 

[-tetsuo-]

Any message i get unsolicited is some stupid fucking 'hi' or another.

I get like 4 or 5 of those a day on POF. It just started recently, though, after a few months of being on there. Seems like you get hot and cold streaks. Give it some time, man. It will happen. No need to be in a hurry, really. Once you start rushing is when you get with one that is nuts.

 

[stn]

Don't expect too much variety from the ladies, folks. Half of the reason they might send really plain messages is because they want to feel like the men are initiating, the other half is because if they get rejected then they want to think hey, at least I barely tried. I got a message today that was literally JUST a . Just work with it.

That's why half of the profiles I see all say "I think online is stupid but I'm trying it anyway." Which basically makes it seem as if they think they're too cool for online dating. Its just an ego thing. I had a girl 5* me on OKC today, view my profile twice, and STILL not message me. She is obviously waiting for me to initiate and I'm sure she'd rather wait 200 years than message me first.

It may be online but women are still women. Its hypocritical of them to want us to break the ice with witty jokes and anecdotes while they just say "Hi", but that's the nature of it.

 

[Jhoan]

It's counterintuitive but I suppose a Hi/smiley is better than say an elipse (who's ever received that?). It still baffles me that men have to entertain the women by taking the time to write out messages but it is what it is.

I suppose the fact that she's even trying is giving me the benefit of the doubt. I would say the same thing to other guys like Kinggi and UFRA. I know it baffles you guys as much as it baffles me, but I don't see the reason why you should dismiss simple messages unless the chicks that are sending them are unattractive in which case I understand.

I actually disabled my visitors because I don't care who visits it any more whether I messaged them or they're simply lurking.

 

[False Witness]

I can't imagine most guys sending the kinds of first messages I've received from the girls on these sites. I would think that OKC and the like would have quickly disappeared if that was the case. So bland.

I ended up responding to a few of them and discovered they really weren't as bland as they seemed. On the other hand, nothing ever came out of those conversations/dates other than getting laid. The good conversations I've had on the site usually resulted in nothing at all though, so what do I know.

 

[Jhoan]

^^ That sounds like fun.

Welp I hust looked at her profile and it's extremely lacking. It says working and to message her. I replied to her to see whete it goes but since profile is bare bones, I have nothing to ask her

 

[Jzero]

Any of you straight dudes get random views from gay guys? It's weird.

 

[Shotgun Kiss]

Regarding girls starting a conversation with a "Hi", "", etc, that's not really any different to them flashing a smile/winking/etc in a bar or something. They're not initiating conversation; they're giving you an open invitation to do so. You should be pleased when that happens.

^^ That sounds like fun.

Welp I hust looked at her profile and it's extremely lacking. It says working and to message her. I replied to her to see whete it goes but since profile is bare bones, I have nothing to ask her

Say just that. "Your profile doesn't say much about you, so I figured I'd send a message. [insert question here]"

 

[stn]

Regarding girls starting a conversation with a "Hi", "", etc, that's not really any different to them flashing a smile/winking/etc in a bar or something. They're not initiating conversation; they're giving you an open invitation to do so. You should be pleased when that happens.

Agreed. That's why I literally accept all messages as long as they aren't vulgar in any way. On another note, as we speak there's this random blonde chick freaking out at me because I didn't reply to her message. She just keeps messaging me and giving attitude.

lol.

 

[Jhoan]

Regarding girls starting a conversation with a "Hi", "", etc, that's not really any different to them flashing a smile/winking/etc in a bar or something. They're not initiating conversation; they're giving you an open invitation to do so. You should be pleased when that happens.




Say just that. "Your profile doesn't say much about you, so I figured I'd send a message. [insert question here]"

That's definitely true when you re-frame it that way. I went with the neutral "How's it going" response. She responded by asking me how my 4th of July was so she's the one whose expressing interest in me. It looks like we're getting into a back and forth.

She only has one picture to boot. =/

I took some pictures of myself yesterday. I posted the pics here (in the Picture thread) since I'm gonna change my profile pic. Which one(s) do you guys think look the best? Thanks.

I think I'm gonna make a new POF account as well after getting frustrated last time and deleting it.I tried it out before and was not getting any messages/replies so I threw in the towel.

 

[maxxpower]

I need to get an actual camera or a phone with a good camera. My only picture on that site I took with my laptop's webcam.

 

[beanman25]

Never have had much luck on this site, but allegedly I'll be going for a bike ride with this girl and then ending the day with PS3. That is like the perfect day for me, so I hope it comes to fruition.

 

[-tetsuo-]

So I've had a girl from LA visit my profile a couple times, which is kind of weird. I think she might be from GAF lol

 

[BoboBrazil]

I got the "you are hot" email today from okcupid. Great I guess?

 

[Jzero]

I got the "you are hot" email today from okcupid. Great I guess?

I think everyone gets one of those.

 

[jamesinclair]

I think everyone gets one of those.

 

[BoboBrazil]

I think everyone gets one of those.

Lol, I figured something was up. I've only gotten messages from girls that are obese unless I message them first. I do see that quite a few people have rated me highly though.

 

[vatstep]

Lol, I figured something was up. I've only gotten messages from girls that are obese unless I message them first. I do see that quite a few people have rated me highly though.

That's what generates the e-mail. I think it's 20 high ratings.

 

[-tetsuo-]

I think everyone gets one of those.

Not me, son. Not me.

 

[FelixOrion]

Yeah I should really just deactivate my account. I'm moving away in a few weeks and, independent of that, have just kinda lost all interest in messaging.

 

[Bleepey]

Has anyone had pof randomly delete their account?

 

[Pastry]

After using OKC/POF for six months I've come to the conclusion that I get significantly more responses and dates when I talk about books in the first message than anything else. It's just such an easy starting point and helps weed out the girls that don't read anyway.

 

[Spunky Monkey]

Well like a chump i decided to pony up for a 1 month membership. Thought it might rank me higher in results and theres a couple of nice benefits.

Being able to see if someone has read your message is nice, looks like 1/3 don't ever read my messages for what ever reason. It also got me looking back over my sent list and it was surprising to see how many have deleted their profile.

I decided to try the other benefits such as being able to search by attractiveness. Of course i picked the best of the best according to the site and 9/10 that i tried to message had a full inbox. That did make me laugh.

I wish i was getting the back and forth you guys are getting with messages, i send out at least 5 messages a day and rarely, like 1 in every 100th message get a reply back and even then that reply is not guaranteed to be any good. Im still wondering if my initial messages are bad but most people say they are fine. At the same time i think maybe people do read them, think they are also fine but they just cant be bothered to reply as maybe they are not 'exciting enough'.

Really don't know where im going wrong, im not an ugly guy, at least i dont think i am but maybe this is proving that actually i am ugly. Got a match with one girl who rated me 4/5 stars so messaged her, she looked at my profile again but didn't reply. Sucks.

 

[Bleepey]

Who else is reading women's dating profile impressions



http://www.xojane.com/relationships/the-great-online-dating-debate-am-i-a-super-selective-bitch

http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/i-cruised-okcupid-and-craiglist-for-dates-so-i-could-eat

http://www.xojane.com/sex/i-sent-guys-on-okcupid-the-types-of-messages-they-
send-me

http://www.xojane.com/sex/60-guys-okcupid

I am curious about her methadology. I find it hard to believe a girl only gets responded to 10% of the time.
http://www.xojane.com/list/okcupid

 

[Tsukumo]

Who else is reading women's dating profile impressions



http://www.xojane.com/relationships/the-great-online-dating-debate-am-i-a-super-selective-bitch

http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/i-cruised-okcupid-and-craiglist-for-dates-so-i-could-eat

http://www.xojane.com/sex/i-sent-guys-on-okcupid-the-types-of-messages-they-
send-me

http://www.xojane.com/sex/60-guys-okcupid

I am curious about her methadology. I find it hard to believe a girl only gets responded to 10% of the time.
http://www.xojane.com/list/okcupid

This girl is a complete psycho.

 

[Jzero]

Either i'm reading these questions wrong or these chicks are freaking crazy.

 

[-tetsuo-]

She doesn't like kids or puppies

 

[Commander Jameson]

Is this thread OK to talk about other dating sites?

My OKC views/contacts seem to have dried up dramatically, so I am trying a couple of other sites. POF and Lovestruck seem to be duds for me personally. Zoosk seems a bit odd. Comparing the number of profile views between the three (I signed up for all at roughly the same time with similar dating profiles):

POF - 10 views, sent out a few messages, no response
Lovestruck - 100+ views, couple of messages, no response
Zoosk - nearly 300 views now, but I get the feeling that they are either fake views or automated ones based on me pausing on a profile

Zoosk is a strange one because I've had that "profile view back-and-forth" thing a few times, tried to send an initial message, but never hear back, yet the person will continue to check my profile. Another suspicious thing is the number of views of my profile from women that have put that they don't want to date outside of their race.

I'm amazed at how many people on POF want a relationship too. It's so hard finding anyone that just wants to date for fun. I've dropped that one now. But, it seems similar to the OKC, Lovestruck and Zoosk too. Any recommendations for better sites that are more fun-oriented please, not necessarily just hookup sites? There must be some in-between.

Edit: Doing a bit more searching, it seems the fake profile/auto-response is a known issue with Zoosk. I've only signed up for a month, so I'll cancel that for sure.

 

[Bleepey]

This girl is a complete psycho.

Why do you say that and which woman are you referring to? These articles are written by several women.

 

[Jhoan]

Sent out several messages on Saturday, got back two replies yesterday, responded today. Feels good man. Got a bunch of views as well (probably girls that saw my message but aren't interested; it's their loss since I don't care).

Both the girls are pretty cool; one goes to ballet classes and is Asian (the first Asian chick I've hit up on the website; will hit up more now); the other is a Star Wars/sci-fi nerd as she told me she's been to London Comic Con. It looks like changing my main picture helped as well as trimming down content on my profile.

I seriously hope these lead somewhere but then again, online dating is like playing with cats; you don't never when women might lose interest and suddenly stop replying to play with a new toy (in this case check out messages from other dudes). In the mean time, I'll keep fighting the good fight and hitting up several chicks a day.

As for the girl who initially sent me a message, it looks like the message fizzled out since her last response was a statement, not a question. I don't know if I should respond and push for meeting up or delete it since she was the one who initiated was presumably interested in me. I might just let it go considering the fact that she only has one picture.

 

[Pastry]

Is this thread OK to talk about other dating sites?

My OKC views/contacts seem to have dried up dramatically, so I am trying a couple of other sites. POF and Lovestruck seem to be duds for me personally. Zoosk seems a bit odd. Comparing the number of profile views between the three (I signed up for all at roughly the same time with similar dating profiles):

POF - 10 views, sent out a few messages, no response
Lovestruck - 100+ views, couple of messages, no response
Zoosk - nearly 300 views now, but I get the feeling that they are either fake views or automated ones based on me pausing on a profile

Zoosk is a strange one because I've had that "profile view back-and-forth" thing a few times, tried to send an initial message, but never hear back, yet the person will continue to check my profile. Another suspicious thing is the number of views of my profile from women that have put that they don't want to date outside of their race.

I'm amazed at how many people on POF want a relationship too. It's so hard finding anyone that just wants to date for fun. I've dropped that one now. But, it seems similar to the OKC, Lovestruck and Zoosk too. Any recommendations for better sites that are more fun-oriented please, not necessarily just hookup sites? There must be some in-between.

Edit: Doing a bit more searching, it seems the fake profile/auto-response is a known issue with Zoosk. I've only signed up for a month, so I'll cancel that for sure.

I have more luck getting responses and dates from POF than from OKC. It might just be my area but it seems like there are way more females on POF. Have a date with a POF girl tonight actually.

 

[stn]

Had a girl view me many times and message me last night. After I replied she stopped messaging but continued to view me once more. No reply.

I must admit, I'm curious from a psychological standpoint about actions like this. What goes through a woman's head? My guess is she probably challenged herself merely to see if she could get me to reply.

 

[Jhoan]

Is this thread OK to talk about other dating sites?

My OKC views/contacts seem to have dried up dramatically, so I am trying a couple of other sites. POF and Lovestruck seem to be duds for me personally. Zoosk seems a bit odd. Comparing the number of profile views between the three (I signed up for all at roughly the same time with similar dating profiles):

POF - 10 views, sent out a few messages, no response
Lovestruck - 100+ views, couple of messages, no response
Zoosk - nearly 300 views now, but I get the feeling that they are either fake views or automated ones based on me pausing on a profile

Zoosk is a strange one because I've had that "profile view back-and-forth" thing a few times, tried to send an initial message, but never hear back, yet the person will continue to check my profile. Another suspicious thing is the number of views of my profile from women that have put that they don't want to date outside of their race.

I'm amazed at how many people on POF want a relationship too. It's so hard finding anyone that just wants to date for fun. I've dropped that one now. But, it seems similar to the OKC, Lovestruck and Zoosk too. Any recommendations for better sites that are more fun-oriented please, not necessarily just hookup sites? There must be some in-between.

Edit: Doing a bit more searching, it seems the fake profile/auto-response is a known issue with Zoosk. I've only signed up for a month, so I'll cancel that for sure.

Yes this is unofficially the catch all online dating thread so you can talk about any websites other than the titular website and POF. If there is an OT2 (there will be eventually), then it'll probably be formally named "Online Dating OT2." I would be willing to make that second OT although I would think that someone else who has had way more success/dates is more qualified to do it.

I honestly don't know what other websites I would recommend since I don't know of many.

Maybe Badoo (it's full of a lot of spam and has a god awful UI IMHO), Howaboutwe is another one I've seen ads for that's been on the rise. Datemyschool (it's a dead website; tried sending out messages; no dice), maybe flirt.com (a little Google work gave me a list of top 10 dating wesbites) but I've never heard of it.

Or maybe you could try speed dating or go to a meetup.com group that's dating centric. There's a lot of options; you might have better luck on smaller websites that specialize in dating for fun. But I totally understand; I'm only looking to date for fun myself and maybe get myself into a short term relationship but that's it for now.

 

[Jzero]

Had a girl view me many times and message me last night. After I replied she stopped messaging but continued to view me once more. No reply.

I must admit, I'm curious from a psychological standpoint about actions like this. What goes through a woman's head? My guess is she probably challenged herself merely to see if she could get me to reply.

A lot of people on the site are so weird. I feel normal compared to most people on there.

 

[Jhoan]

That chick is probably shy or something. I don't know. Girls on dating websites must have a weird rationale for message dudes and not replying. Egos to stroke or what have you.

 

[~Kinggi~]

That chick is probably shy or something. I don't know. Girls on dating websites must have a weird rationale for message dudes and not replying. Egos to stroke or what have you.

Every single girl that i have managed to have multiple replies with seem to be devoid of personality. Like, they dont ask questions. All the pressure goes on me for trying to keep the mood upbeat. Girls on Cupid are lazy as fuck and im really pissed there are so few avenues for me to meet people.

 

[Jhoan]

Ah yeah things are going well with the Asian chick so far; I got another reply back and her interest is definitely there. I hope it leads somewhere since she's pretty cute; there's something about her eyes that I like. The other girl hasn't responded yet.

 

[stn]

I find that a overwhelming majority of girls online are lame, uninspired, and hypocrites. The girl I mentioned in my post above - I actually think I scared her off with my reply to her first message. It was a regular question but it required thought, and she was probably looking for something simple.

The part I love most is that nearly every girl mentions the same "Don't message me asking for a booty call" or "I am not aroused by you if you have topless pics."

Ladies - we know you're horny. Stop lying to yourselves. Honestly, at this point I think I'm keeping my profile merely for the psychological analysis of female behavior. Its fun in its own way.

On the other hand, I'm meeting a girl this week. She seems intelligent and deep. Let's see if she can provide me with a different view.

 

[Jimothy]

I find that a overwhelming majority of girls online are lame, uninspired, and hypocrites.

This. So much this. It's also great when their profile is completely different from how they act in real life. Like, her profile is incredibly snarky and sarcastic, but in real life she isn't sarcastic or funny at all. I think it's just a defense mechanism for most girls. If they don't get any luck out of online dating, they can just lay it on the fact that it was their profile that came across as dull and unapproachable, not their actual personality.

 

[FelixOrion]

I'll probably be disabling my account later this week. No reason to keep it open much longer than that.

 

[Pastry]

Date went great tonight, definitely missed my chance to go in for a kiss. She said she wanted to go out again so I guess I'll get a second chance at that.