BoboBrazil
Member
You got like a 90% of fucking girls the first date when meeting on an online dating site and you didn't even go in for a kiss? You gotta get more aggressive.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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You got like a 90% of fucking girls the first date when meeting on an online dating site and you didn't even go in for a kiss? You gotta get more aggressive.
Buckethead
Banned
Listen to Vader but you might have already fucked it up.
I don't know how old these women are but generally would advice dating older or at least going in beforehand knowing that you might have to take the reigns of the conversation and draw them out of their shells.
I've had a couple bad dates so I agree but sometimes people have their walls up and it's hard for them to be themselves on the first date.
I don't know how old these women are but generally would advice dating older or at least going in beforehand knowing that you might have to take the reigns of the conversation and draw them out of their shells.
lol I've been out with about 10 different girls from online dating, haven't had sex with one
on the first date. All the girls I have had sex
with from online dating I didn't kiss on the first date. Kissing on the first date isn't really my thing, not going to change who I am for an easy lay.
Shit's real bad when you have lowered your nonexistant standards so much and they still dont reply. I have literally tried every type of message possible. For the hell of it now im apologizing for a bad message after i know they've read it. Lets see if that works. fuck this shitty site
Did you already change your pic?
If so, I am actually curious which one you picked since I thought that most of them make you look extremely douchey with a bad fake smile (some girls might be into that and I am not even trying to be mean, just being honest).
So don't get me wrong, I do think that you are actually a very cute lad.
Even if you look generally cheesy in the photos, I really like this one.
http://i.imgur.com/QqhFntz.jpg
I haven't never used a dating site, but according to this thread I would say that boys do the same.
Come on, I don't even remember how many comments I have read about obese females. Doesn't really sound like you would be thinking about the personality that much in those cases.
And no, I am not judging, just pointing out the fact that men seem to do the same.
I did go with that one. My brother and a friend all told me the other ones looked too fake so thanks. No offense taken, I appreciate it.
I am starting to think that this is actually a really good advice. If you go wrong with the photo, nobody bothers to read anything you wrote.
If we take Jipan
(sorry darling, but your photos are handy and readily available and you didn't seem to mind honest feedback. Also I didn't really even think of the power of the photos before looking at your pics, but they do send strong signals)
I will now open up about my ideas of these photos. Note: only my own ideas, some people might think totally different and they have the right to do so.
Douchey idiot who thinks he owns the world, have the most horrid fake smile and looks totally stoned and his friend is most likely stoned as well hence the blurry photo. Conclusion: he is a fucking pothead retard who is looking for a sexah lady with fake tan, fake eyelashes and hair extensions for an easy laid.
Wow. Really nice arms, friendly and polite smile, good looking, trimmed facial hair, awesome stamina, a clock that looks somewhat expensive... Conclusion: totally edible looking lad who takes care of himself, has money to offer me a dinner during first date, would motivate me to hit the gym more often as well and if it would come to that, he looks like a whole lot of fun in bed.
Wait! What?
I might be exaggerating a bit, but you got the idea. We make a whole lot of assumptions based on the photos. Don't ask me how correct they are, but think what people are going through when looking at your photos.
If you are thinking of having a new profile pic, I would really recommend doing the same as Jipan did: take a bunch of different ones and ask second opinion on what you should be going with. If many people agree with the same one, go with it.
Well, it is really nice one so good choice.I did go with that one. My brother and a friend all told me the other ones looked too fake so thanks. No offense taken, I appreciate it.
Hahah, My feedback was given with friendly intentions so it is good that you weren't totally butthurt and heartbroken cause of it. Some (mostly female) friends of mine tend to ask opinions even if they don't really want them in the end.
...And wait a second... People looking like you actually need to use dating sites?
Apology worked. We in convos now. boom
Although truth be told i am fully expecting this one to drop off the map as well. Hey, lets have 3-4 messages of sincere conversation and she seems really into it and then BAM fuck you im done.
For a while i tried the opposite route, made two nice messages then asked for numbers. Hoo boy they fled at that too. Truly a horrible experience cupid is.
ASK HER THE FUCK OUT
Any girl who does this probably isn't worth your time anyway. They're probably freaked out about the idea of meeting someone online and are just using the site for an ego boost.
Just sent my 3rd message to her like an hour ago. If i get to a 4th ill do the number dance again.
Like i said, its all been tried before so dont act like OH GOD WAT AM U DOING!?
Hey guys if you ever feel rejection is getting to you. Feel free to read these extracts from a book about what it's like to be a man for over a year. A lesbian author lived as a guy for over a year and she talked about having to deal with female rejection.
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/self-made-man-love-dating/
http://familyscholars.org/2010/09/24/self-made-man-love-dating/
I am at work and had nothing better to do than to read that link.
Wow. Seriously eye-opening.
As a female I haven't never even understood that we could actually bare some sort of power over men.
This is giving me a whole new point of view to the topic.
And awwww, poor lads. I am seriously feeling sympathy towards you.
Is it a bad thing i had to reread this several times to see if this was sarcasm (and to be honest i am still not sure) I thought it was common knowledge that girls knew that their femininity can hold power over men whether it's a wish to fuck, date or marry.
Hahah, nah, it isn't really that bad thing. On the contrary I appreciate it that you thought the possibility of sarcasm, since it it is quite commonplace. That was still written with all seriousness.
I think I might have kind of known it, but not really understood the depths of it.
Perhaps I have just been too nerdy nerd to take advantage of that.
I found a more comprehensive synopsis and there was a part that stood out and kinda scared me.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/13688397/Self-Made-Man-Review
Yikes.
Hahaha, I feel flattered to have my pictures broken down on why the forced smiling ones down work and the one that I'm currently using does.
I get that all the time. Classes don't start until the end of August so in my down time, I've been resorting to online dating. I'll probably resort to it some more once I graduate since it's going to be more difficult to meet people. I've been volunteering as well but otherwise I'm an oblivious buffoon when it comes to talking to women in person (although I've been getting better at reading signs of interest slowly). I think I get stares when I go to the beach or to the pool as well (have to go yet).
I don't exactly approach attractive women that catch my eye in public either and I live in NYC AKA millions of single people but I suppose I should work on that (saw the Dating Age thread stuff about public place to easily talk to women at) with all this free time I have.
As for an update, neither chick has replied. I'll give it a few more days but I'm not holding my breath so I'm currently looking at profiles, opening them in separate tabs (up to seven or eight), and if they're interesting, hit them up. Back on the grinding game.
Don't worry, its looking solid for another total failure as no reply in site. Which is aggravating because the messages were getting longer and she left the last one off with a question. We'll see, if she doesn't reply by the end of the week im deleting this profile and saying good riddance to this shithole. I rather not even try and be ignorant of my misery than reminded every day.
Who cares? You make it sound like it's literally killing you that you keep sounding so frustrated. That's just how online dating is; you simply play with the cards that you've been dealt or take better pictures. It happens man and while it sucks, it's something that you just learn to shrug off. People have tried giving you advice on both threads but ultimately, it's your call on what you do.
People get rejected all the time when applying for jobs in this day and age. What do they do? They don't complain about it. They shrug and keep applying for more. The point is to keep your head up and be persistent like my friend told me.
You know some people have mental health problems. And there is no fix for these problems like the pharma companies have you believe. So you have to live with it. And you have to work harder than everyone else just to act like a functioning adult. And yes it literally kills you when working hard isnt enough and you want a little taste of what the normal adult has. But whatever everyone gives me advice and im clearly not doing anything but sitting on my ass, they know whats best. I should probably see a DOCTOR amirite? Haven't tried that one, it's brilliant. Maybe go to the gym and look really hot, that'll help you get confidence. Damn why didn't i think of that. I bet actually going out with people and acting happy works well too, damn that carefree attitude will just attract the ladies from all over i hear.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
You're being a bitch.
Ok then.
Appropriate GIF, i thank you, but now the usual terror sets in, and alcohol becomes my friend. Probably call tomorrow sometime to set a date up...
No alcohol buddy. Relax, take it easy, and remember that she's only human like the rest of us; she takes dumps, she brushes her teeth, she sweats like men do on a summer day, and all that jazz.
I'm surprised you need alcohol to hit up women on the phone. Regardless, I think we're all happy for you. Think more positively man. You got this.
-tetsuo-
Unlimited Capacity
BoboBrazil
Member
Don't call, you text.
stn
Member
Kinggi - here's my "issue" with you, if you could even call it that: you stress too much. I know its only text I'm seeing from you but I can literally feel the stress and desperation in your posts.
Look. Whether you get women or not you should still relax and take everything day-by-day. The advice people have given you is very good. You just need to re-frame things. For example: instead of going to the gym to get a body for women, you get a good body because you want one! This is just an example of the mindset you should adopt.
Also, I saw some issue with you apologizing for your message. I truly believe a man should never apologize for anything unless its clearly something wrong or offensive. Be secure in the mistakes you make. You will not only become more confident but women will flock to you more and respect you.
Anyway, I'm glad you got the girl's number. Make sure you have a good time and I'd advise against alcohol. You're better off being sober and making a mistake than risking a drunk version of you taking over. If you can go in sober, make a mistake, and come out with the attitude of trying harder next time - then you would have mastered the game.
This is how confidence is truly gained. Not just by lifting 200 times a day and shit like other men do (though that also works but this kind of confidence is gained from a position of weakness, not strength).
Good luck!
Look. Whether you get women or not you should still relax and take everything day-by-day. The advice people have given you is very good. You just need to re-frame things. For example: instead of going to the gym to get a body for women, you get a good body because you want one! This is just an example of the mindset you should adopt.
Also, I saw some issue with you apologizing for your message. I truly believe a man should never apologize for anything unless its clearly something wrong or offensive. Be secure in the mistakes you make. You will not only become more confident but women will flock to you more and respect you.
Anyway, I'm glad you got the girl's number.
Make sure you have a good time and I'd advise against alcohol. You're better off being sober and making a mistake than risking a drunk version of you taking over. If you can go in sober, make a mistake, and come out with the attitude of trying harder next time - then you would have mastered the game. This is how confidence is truly gained. Not just by lifting 200 times a day and shit like other men do (though that also works but this kind of confidence is gained from a position of weakness, not strength).
Good luck!
Definitely with agree all of this. You should never apologize for anything. It makes you sound insecure unless it is genuinely for something offensive/disrespectful.Kinggi - here's my "issue" with you, if you could even call it that: you stress too much. I know its only text I'm seeing from you but I can literally feel the stress and desperation in your posts.
Look. Whether you get women or not you should still relax and take everything day-by-day. The advice people have given you is very good. You just need to re-frame things. For example: instead of going to the gym to get a body for women, you get a good body because you want one! This is just an example of the mindset you should adopt.
Also, I saw some issue with you apologizing for your message. I truly believe a man should never apologize for anything unless its clearly something wrong or offensive. Be secure in the mistakes you make. You will not only become more confident but women will flock to you more and respect you.
Anyway, I'm glad you got the girl's number.
This is how confidence is truly gained. Not just by lifting 200 times a day and shit like other men do (though that also works but this kind of confidence is gained from a position of weakness, not strength).
Good luck!
I feel like I've been letting myself go lately as well as I haven't been outside in a couple of days, nor drawn, and I haven't been to the gym in 1.6 weeks. Gotta get back on my high horse and do what makes me me. I've been losing sight of my summer goals.
Is this a legit good idea? I've always been more old fashioned. I want to hear a voice and i really dislike texting overall as a form of communication unless you are already very close to a person.
False Witness
Member
It's how things are done these days.
Well then all this tells me is here is an opportunity to be different.
BoboBrazil
Member
Blind calling someone is annoying when you don't really know the person. Text and then if she is ok with you calling her then you can call and talk on the phone. Usually if you don't pursue it the girl will end up wanting you to call her and hint or ask you to anyway.
For the love of fuck, don't call her. Just text her.
False Witness
Member
Calls will be made eventually, but I like to wait until the lady wants to call me. Texting is great when starting out.
I don't agree with her.
Even if I have read the summaries you have linked, I have no more fear towards men that I did before. On the contrary actually I feel even more sympathy towards them.
Perhaps her sexuality also plays a role in that. She can generally see males as a threat, since they hunt the same prey as she does. Who knows.
Hahah, awesome if you took my comments in a positive way.Hahaha, I feel flattered to have my pictures broken down on why the forced smiling ones doesn't work and the one that I'm currently using does.
I get that all the time. Classes don't start until the end of August so in my down time, I've been resorting to online dating. I'll probably resort to it some more once I graduate since it's going to be more difficult to meet people. I've been volunteering as well but otherwise I'm an oblivious buffoon when it comes to talking to women in person (although I've been getting better at reading signs of interest slowly). I think I get stares when I go to the beach or to the pool as well (have to go yet).
And stares. No kidding. Come on, you are genuinely ridiculously sexy looking lad and I assume you know this. I am fairly sure you are aware of how many hours you have needed to put into creating a body like yours, so you better also understand how highly appreciated it is.
To be fairly honest, if I would be single in NYC, I would totally not only be staring, but coming to talk to you and doing my very best to get to know you more. No joke.
Why don't you approach them then?
I have hard time believing you would be having confident issues (then again I have been proven wrong before) so are you just feeling too lazy about it?
Oh and by the way smashing, if you are finding some help from the other thread.
We are here to help and motivate you darlings to get the very best out of yourselves.
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