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[Jimothy]

Okay so I went out with a girl a couple Saturdays ago. The date went great and we continued to text back and forth afterwards. Everything seemed peachy and I was really digging her. We were then gonna hang out last Wednesday but I cancelled because I wasn't feeling well. Since then I've definitely noticed a chill in her texts even though I explicitly said I wanted to hang out again. Like, I texted her over Fourth of July weekend asking if she was going to the fireworks show. All she said was "Nope!". She didn't even ask me what my plans were which was unusual because in previous texts she countered my question with another, and the conversation flowed well. I then asked her to hang out on Tuesday but she cancelled because she was tired. Whatever. So then I ask when she'd be free again, but she said couldn't remember because she was so tired. Bullshit. So today I sent her a picture I took and asked her what she'd been doing, she texted back "nothing really". Again, no question about what I had going on or a comment on the picture. I'm probably not painting a good picture of her personality, but the change in tone of her texts has been jarring. She's gone from being inquisitive to just plain cold. I'm kind of depressed because I had such a nice time with her compared to my previous dates. I really clicked with her.

So should I just drop hanging out with her again? I was thinking about sending her something like "so are we going to hang out again or not? if not, i need you to tell me so i can stop wasting both of our time." Is that a little too direct? Maybe she's just been having a rough week or something but I'm really not appreciating her suddenly being so coy.

 

[False Witness]

You know, it's pretty crazy just how noticeable the change in interaction becomes when a girl decides they are done with you. It's definitely a hell of a lot easier to read than the signals given off when they are interested in you. Hell, there's been quite a few times that I haven't realized someone was into me until they stopped being into me. That's how abrupt the change is.

 

[Jimothy]

You know, it's pretty crazy just how noticeable the change in interaction becomes when a girl decides they are done with you. It's definitely a hell of a lot easier to read than the signals given off when they are interested in you. Hell, there's been quite a few times that I haven't realized someone was into me until they stopped being into me. That's how abrupt the change is.

It is honestly a little soul crushing. I mean, I have several other potential girls that I have yet to meet up with, but rejection like this is so jarring and hurtful. Maybe I'm not mature enough for dating after all.

so should I text her that or not?

 

[Jzero]

These are my four most recently received messages (there's way more though) -_-
Hi hi hi HI hI Hi!

Also, there's more and more people i know in real life joining the site. So damn awkward seeing them in my matches.

 

[TheKyle07]

Revamped my profile yesterday and I’ve gotten these four since:

“Hi, how're you doing?”
“Hi”
“Hi how are u?”
“I think yer cute!”

Not even a smiley face!
I hope everyone on GAF knows how to send a proper message.

 

[UFRA]

Revamped my profile yesterday and I’ve gotten these four since:

“Hi, how're you doing?”
“Hi”
“Hi how are u?”
“I think yer cute!”

Not even a smiley face!
I hope everyone on GAF knows how to send a proper message.

Careful what you say. There are some on GAF who feel these messages are just fine, and open up a great pile of conversation. lol

Personally I despise those messages.

 

[Darklord]

I never seem to get messages now. In fact, I got more when I was 80lbs heavier. -_-

I even got the okay by people on here before, my main photo was ok enough to pass the beautifulpeople votes, yet nada. God damn it.

 

[FelixOrion]

I think I've only ever once got an unsolicited message.

 

[Jhoan]

And stares. No kidding. Come on, you are genuinely ridiculously sexy looking lad and I assume you know this. I am fairly sure you are aware of how many hours you have needed to put into creating a body like yours, so you better also understand how highly appreciated it is.

To be fairly honest, if I would be single in NYC, I would totally not only be staring, but coming to talk to you and doing my very best to get to know you more. No joke.


Why don't you approach them then?

I have hard time believing you would be having confident issues (then again I have been proven wrong before) so are you just feeling too lazy about it?

Oh and by the way smashing, if you are finding some help from the other thread.

We are here to help and motivate you darlings to get the very best out of yourselves.

I'm Sexy and I Know It. ;p

I started hitting the gym when I was in high school (Grade 12 for you Europeans) since I used to be scrawny, super shy, and got bullied up until I was 15. So at the age of 17, investing in a gym membership was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I have good genetics and a high metabolism so I cut up quickly and while I'm pretty happy how I look now, I always consider it a work in progress. But honestly, I'm kind of indifferent to it because I'm so used to it. I've had several GAF members tell me that I should be using my looks to advantage and capitalizing on it.

Women in the US aren't exactly gutsy, let alone in NYC to approach a guy. I would definitely appreciate it and admire it if does happen though. It's happened to me a few times but it's rare and the times when it does happen, it just flies over my head on what to do next. It's kind of why I wonder why a couple of former female coworkers added me on FB. I suppose it's simply to stay in touch than anything else.

I suppose it's because I doubt myself and while I tend to have an idea about what to say, most of the time, I simply gawk at them and let them be. There's also the feeling of laziness as well. I tend to feel vulnerable when I notice a woman checking me out from the corner of my eye but I don't engage eye contact. But that goes back to the fact that I am indeed an attractive guy to look at.

I suppose I should go to a museum again one of these days. Maybe MoMA or The Met since those are the two big museums that I typically go to out of a whim on a boring day. I really haven't been out much in about 2 weeks.

In relation to this thread, I don't messaged by women like many guys here have and I'm not picky about the type of messages that I receive. It's probably because I'm Hispanic. I admire those of you that get messages from women. I think I might have to change up my profile a bit. The one girl that did send me an unsolicited message (whom I stopped replying to since the conversation went dry) deactivated her account I believe since her message window didn't have a picture any more.

In other news, I hit up an accomplished cosplayer chick yesterday and got a reply back. It looks like we got a back and forth going because I replied to her second response.

I would definitely love to date cosplayers even though I've worked at conventions where I'm surrounded by them. But I've found it hard to talk to them since they're always with an entourage of people. A lot of the cosplayer girls that I've talked to are pretty nice but I made no intention to flirt with them since I assume that a lot of them are in a relationship.. She's cosplayed as Tifa, Sailor Mercury among other characters and plans on going as Skyward Sword Zelda to Otakon I believe so I'm hoping it leads somewhere.

 

[~Kinggi~]

So i texted that girl last night just to wish her well on something she was doing today, she replied this morning positively. Its a waiting game now though till i send a text arranging a date.

So, since i have no experience besides a date i went on two years ago (which ended up being expensive because i was clueless and had no ideas on what else to do but arrange a dinner) and am a nervous wreck about these types of things, any suggestions? I was thinking like asking if coffee or drinks sounded good for a day id pick this weekend. I want to keep it simple. Im not Don Juan. But seriously, everyone says dating is supposed to be fun but its a torture for me. I feel severely inadequate in all social areas of my life but thats how i've always felt, no matter how much effort or things i do.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I always go for drinks around 9ish on a weekday so you can bounce out with a good excuse of having to sleep or something if it's bad. Drinks are also better for loosening up and having a better time, as well as likely meeting somewhere darker where you can both think the other person looks better than they do.

 

[~Kinggi~]

She wants me to call her tomorrow to set up details. yissss

But okay, i dont really know a lot of places other than your generic starbucks etc....any advice with this?

 

[stn]

I actually just came back from a successful date. We went to Starbucks. Go for the same thing, dude. Keep the cost low, keep the plan simple. Don't ask her what she wants, just dictate the plan and have her follow it.

Good luck.

 

[~Kinggi~]

I actually just came back from a successful date. We went to Starbucks. Go for the same thing, dude. Keep the cost low, keep the plan simple. Don't ask her what she wants, just dictate the plan and have her follow it.

Good luck.

Sweet man thanks!

 

[Spinluck]

So I messaged a hot chick with a totally funny icebreaker- I'm a 84% match with her (not like it matters much lol) and she has a great profile, and has some great answers to her questions (yea I question stalked her).....

And she messages back, and seemed to like my corny unoriginal joke. Here's what I messaged.

Hi there, enjoying this godawful 1000 degree weather?

I live in Florida, and it's summer so it's hot as hell down here. Her answer.

Not one bit hahahah. How about yourself.

Exactly what she said, I even excluded the question mark cause she forgot to put one.

Answered her question about 3hrs later cause I was busy. A day later, no response.
On to the next one I guess O__o this site kills me.

 

[~Kinggi~]

So I messaged a hot chick with a totally funny icebreaker- I'm a 84% match with her (not like it matters much lol) and she has a great profile, and has some great answers to her questions (yea I question stocked her).....

And she messages back, and seemed to like my corny unoriginal joke. Here's what I messaged.

Hi there, enjoying this godawful 1000 degree weather?

I live in Florida, and it's summer so it's hot as hell down here. Her answer.

Not one bit hahahah. How about yourself.

Exactly what she said, I even excluded the question mark cause she forgot to put one.

Answered her question about 3hrs later cause I was busy. A day later, no response.
On to the next one I guess O__o this site kills me.

I find usually you have to answer almost immediately to engage in conversation. They do this because they are bored. You have like 4 message chances in that quick convo to get their attention. Then they just flake out and disappear.

 

[Spinluck]

I find usually you have to answer almost immediately to engage in conversation. They do this because they are bored. You have like 4 message chances in that quick convo to get their attention. Then they just flake out and disappear.

That's basically what I figured.

I messaged her on my lunch break -__-. Should've probably waited till I was done with work.

Oh well, I'll avoid doing it again.

 

[beanman25]

I've realized many of the women who are also 21 are much too crazy for me and never replied. I've been getting quite a few replies from women 23-24. Works for me!

 

[~Kinggi~]

I dont know how to deal with these types of things. Home from work and about to call that girl and i am just nervous as fuck. Severe social anxiety. I honestly shouldnt care. I mean ill be dead and dont want to think oh gee i didnt do anything because who gives a fuck. Its just a nervousness thats automatic in me.

 

[-tetsuo-]

I dont know how to deal with these types of things. Home from work and about to call that girl and i am just nervous as fuck. Severe social anxiety. I honestly shouldnt care. I mean ill be dead and dont want to think oh gee i didnt do anything because who gives a fuck. Its just a nervousness thats automatic in me.

Thought we agreed you should text her?

 

[~Kinggi~]

Thought we agreed you should text her?

I did, she wanted me to call to set details. Im fine with that though, i wanted to call anyway.,

 

[electricshake]

I dont know how to deal with these types of things. Home from work and about to call that girl and i am just nervous as fuck. Severe social anxiety. I honestly shouldnt care. I mean ill be dead and dont want to think oh gee i didnt do anything because who gives a fuck. Its just a nervousness thats automatic in me.

I've been seeing a guy since March and he still makes me feel nervous. We don't see each other much so when we do I get really anxious before. Feels bad man.

 

[~Kinggi~]

I mustered all that courage and got a fucking answering machine. WHYGABENWHY (What sucks is that i even specified id be calling her around this time)


Anyway, was forced with an immediate dilemma of leave a message or dont leave a message....so i left a quick message. I dont think it was awkward or anything weird....knowing my luck she will now ignore me. One thing is for sure, im probably shutting down cupid account after this. This isnt my first rodeo with this but it seems to have gotten worse. I need a more natural way of meeting someone.

 

[FelixOrion]

Just disabled my account for a second time. No idea when or if I'll reopen it. Don't really care if I do or not. I don't think the idea of online dating is bad one, but I don't think it really works for me and I had very little success with it.

Oh well. Godspeed, OnlineDatingGAF. Might be back in the future, but again, no idea.

 

[~Kinggi~]

I swear now im just pissed. What the fuck is it with these cupid chicks. Goddamn girl says it would be awesome to go out on the weekend, i call her, answering machine, no response, and she's been online for the past hour.

 

[BoboBrazil]

I swear now im just pissed. What the fuck is it with these cupid chicks. Goddamn girl says it would be awesome to go out on the weekend, i call her, answering machine, no response, and she's been online for the past hour.

She probably just wanted to hear your voice. Fuck leaving a voicemail. There is no point today to leave one. She can see the missed call and call you back if needed. She probably made plans to go out with another guy that messaged her after you texted her and is ignoring you because of that. Just be done with it and never think about her again.

 

[~Kinggi~]

She probably just wanted to hear your voice. Fuck leaving a voicemail. There is no point today to leave one. She can see the missed call and call you back if needed. She probably made plans to go out with another guy that messaged her after you texted her and is ignoring you because of that. Just be done with it and never think about her again.

That much seemed clear, but its even more annoying when the person seems more genuine than most, cant trust anyone. Deleting my account, its been a wasteland for the past year.

I'll give it till tomorrow though.

 

[BoboBrazil]

That much seemed clear, but its even more annoying when the person seems more genuine than most, cant trust anyone. Deleting my account, its been a wasteland for the past year.

I'll give it till tomorrow though.

You have to understand women are on that site for a reason. Usually if they aren't overweight, it's because they have psychological issues or are just their to stroke their egos. A good looking girl that is mentally stable 99% of the time will not be on there. You have to expand your reach and start talking to people in real life. Like the book store, grocery store, etc and just remember even if you talk to 10 girls and get rejected by 9, you still have successfully gotten a number from atleast 1. It's all a numbers game.

 

[~Kinggi~]

This should be good.

Edit: Kay, tomorrow morning im gonna nuke it from orbit.

 

[element]

I am on the verge of just getting rid of my account.

It has become pointless. Nothing I write matters. I swear my profile has been flagged or something. I ended up paying for a month to see who reads my mails and everyone reads them, but no one replies.

 

[Sadetar]

Women in the US aren't exactly gutsy, let alone in NYC to approach a guy. I would definitely appreciate it and admire it if does happen though. It's happened to me a few times but it's rare and the times when it does happen, it just flies over my head on what to do next. It's kind of why I wonder why a couple of former female coworkers added me on FB. I suppose it's simply to stay in touch than anything else.

I don't think it is about guts or courage, it is just most likely different way of looking things. I don't mind who does the initiative and since I am chatty I feel it might be easier for me to start a conversation.

I haven't actually never even thought of it, but now when I do, I think I haven't never dated anybody who would have done the first move - it has always been me. I don't really know what to think of that... I have been asked out and complimented though, but I have then always been in a relationship already.

I'm Sexy and I Know It. ;p

That is the right attitude.

I suppose I should go to a museum again one of these days. Maybe MoMA or The Met since those are the two big museums that I typically go to out of a whim on a boring day. I really haven't been out much in about 2 weeks.

Museums for the win. I work in one 38,25 hours per week (I am at work at the moment). I am slightly jealous that you can just casually go to MoMa and The Met.

In other news, I hit up an accomplished cosplayer chick yesterday and got a reply back. It looks like we got a back and forth going because I replied to her second response.

I would definitely love to date cosplayers even though I've worked at conventions where I'm surrounded by them. But I've found it hard to talk to them since they're always with an entourage of people. A lot of the cosplayer girls that I've talked to are pretty nice but I made no intention to flirt with them since I assume that a lot of them are in a relationship.. She's cosplayed as Tifa, Sailor Mercury among other characters and plans on going as Skyward Sword Zelda to Otakon I believe so I'm hoping it leads somewhere.

What comes to cosplayers I need to say that I know ridiculously many and all of them are at least slightly mad/crazy/insane - some in a really good way though.

Good luck! Keep us posted.

You have to understand women are on that site for a reason. Usually if they aren't overweight, it's because they have psychological issues or are just their to stroke their egos. A good looking girl that is mentally stable 99% of the time will not be on there.

I have been thinking what kind of mega babes people are expecting to see on the dating sites. Also, how do you define overweight, since according to this thread, it seems to be one of the deal breakers?

I am actually amazed how high quality men there seems to be, if people from GAF uses it. I have a stereotypical image, that people in here are generally on the good looking side of the spectrum.

 

[electricshake]

You have to understand women are on that site for a reason. Usually if they aren't overweight, it's because they have psychological issues or are just their to stroke their egos. A good looking girl that is mentally stable 99% of the time will not be on there. You have to expand your reach and start talking to people in real life. Like the book store, grocery store, etc and just remember even if you talk to 10 girls and get rejected by 9, you still have successfully gotten a number from atleast 1. It's all a numbers game.

And men aren't? If you think women are only using online dating because there's something 'wrong' with them, I have a newsflash for ya - there's something wrong with everyone. No one is perfect.

You're also making a huge generalisation about the type of women (and their motivations) using online dating - which is pretty offensive. I think you guys would be pretty offended if I said that all the guys on OKC are ugly and weird, or are only trying to get laid.

 

[BoboBrazil]

I have been thinking what kind of mega babes people are expecting to see on the dating sites. Also, how do you define overweight, since according to this thread, it seems to be one of the deal breakers?

I am actually amazed how high quality men there seems to be, if people from GAF uses it. I have a stereotypical image, that people in here are generally on the good looking side of the spectrum.

By overweight I mean obese and that is 200+ for a woman of average height. I don't mind a woman with a little meat on her bones as that isn't bad in my book.

And men aren't? If you think women are only using online dating because there's something 'wrong' with them, I have a newsflash for ya - there's something wrong with everyone. No one is perfect.

You're also making a huge generalisation about the type of women (and their motivations) using online dating - which is pretty offensive. I think you guys would be pretty offended if I said that all the guys on OKC are ugly and weird, or are only trying to get laid.

100% of guys on there are trying to get laid, whether they readily admit it or not. Noone's perfect, that is pretty obvious, whether it be man or woman.

 

[Commander Jameson]

I updated my profile on OKC slightly to mention that I am thinking of taking salsa classes and a couple of interesting women messaged me about it. Conversations went well and I've got a couple of dates lined up now.

Zoosk, on the other hand, is utter nonsense. Some of their messages sound like they have been written by an offshore support person.

Haha.. I must The one for you.. I adore the upsetment and lies.. Where have you been?? Funny.. Chat?

Really?

 

[FairyD]

So I need some advice gaf. I've been messaging this girl on and off for about 2 weeks now.

She has been a little slow in replying, the last message I received today took a week. But, she asked if I would like to go for coffee or tea sometime.

Should I just message back and give her my number to text me or should I propose a date to meet up for coffee/tea?

 

[electricshake]

By overweight I mean obese and that is 200+ for a woman of average height. I don't mind a woman with a little meat on her bones as that isn't bad in my book.



100% of guys on there are trying to get laid, whether they readily admit it or not. Noone's perfect, that is pretty obvious, whether it be man or woman.

I'm sure most people are trying to get laid but there are plenty who are looking for more than just sex, and they aren't all women. I just think it's unfair to judge all women that use online dating and suggest there's something wrong with them, but not make the same judgement about men. But hey this is gaf so I guess a little bit of misogyny is to be expected.

 

[~Kinggi~]

 

[Jimothy]

So I need some advice gaf. I've been messaging this girl on and off for about 2 weeks now.

She has been a little slow in replying, the last message I received today took a week. But, she asked if I would like to go for coffee or tea sometime.

Should I just message back and give her my number to text me or should I propose a date to meet up for coffee/tea?

Just ask her for her number.

 

[Shotgun Kiss]

Posted this in the Dating Age thread, but I'd really like some advice ASAP, so forgive me for posting it here (I did meet the girl through Match.com).



Just got back from a second date with a girl. It went incredibly, save for what might be a hiccup right at the end (but maybe not; I'll get to that).

First of all, some context; the whole dating scene is still alien to me; this is the first "real" second date I've ever been on (I've met with girls a second time before, but they felt like a formaility, and ended up being just casual drinks or a film or something).

We met up at 1pm for lunch and some drinks, and at about 2pm, I suggested we got to a nearby botanical garden/park. I hadn't been there before, but she had, though she said she was happy to go again. It turned out to be an amazing place for a date. We wandered around admiring all the plantlife/lakes/etc, we had some frozen yoghurt, and there was a shallow body of water where kids were wading/paddling in, and we took our shoes off, and went in ourselves. She lent me a scarf to dry my feet with afterwards, to which I declined at first, but she insisted she could just wash it.

We then went and lied on the grass in the shade to cool down, and we ended up lying there and talking for a while. We ended up pretty close, to the point where our faces were only a couple of inches apart, and she leaned on me a couple of times. I said we needed to come back and have a picnic sometime, which she said was a good idea.

We left at 5pm, and headed to the cinema. She mentioned possily getting cold there, as she was wearing a dress for the summer weather. She said if she got cold, I could put my arm around her.

We went for drinks while waiting for the film, and when we did go see it, I decided to put my arm around her about 30 minutes in, and kept it there throughout. I asked her a couple of times if she was comfortable, and she said she was fine. We rested our heads against each other quite a few times too.

I walked her back to hers afterwards (by this point it was 9:00pm), and when I got her back to hers, I think I dropped the ball a little in going for the kiss. There was a bit of hesitation, and it ended up just being a quick peck on the lips. She's a bit of a quiet/shy type, so maybe that's not a huge deal? Anyway, I'm hoping it won't sour her opinion of an otherwise great day.

I'm now back home, and wondering, when should I text her? I figured I should say I had an awesome time, but I don't know when would be best to do that. Now? Or should I wait until tomorrow?

 

[peteykirch]

Can't stand that feeling when you find a profile of a person you're interested in and everything seems perfect, like they are what you want, and you are what they want (At least in your mind), you send them a funny, concise message that shows lucid thinking that you at the very minimum read their profile, and then nothing. You know she read the message, and then she visits your profile every other day give or take. I just don't get it.

Then you get the "X has rated you highly" message, so you message them and no response.

 

[Necrovex]

Time for an update:

I have a date with this super cute Asian girl on Tuesday. We've been talking for a while, and moved from the site to texting one another. Interested in seeing how the date goes. I decided to make it at 8 p.m., so if the date doesn't go too well, I can use the "I have work in the morning" excuse.

On another topic: I am talking to another woman on Blendr, she shot me a message super quickly, and tossed me her digits. Now, I always reverse image a person's picture, just in case, and I found she had another profile on PoF. But, this woman was in Illinois rather than Florida, plus she was taller and younger in that profile rather than her Blendr profile. Thus I decided to locate her phone number's area code, which was in California. Even though this person is "verified" on Blendr, this overall situation has a stench.

I decided to message the PoF account, explained the situation, if it is the same person, I am sure she will confirm it, if it is not the same person, I'll quickly find out.

 

[~Kinggi~]

I tell ya this chick is something else. So she didnt return my call yesterday, i saw her online, figured she was not interested. This morning she texts me saying she got home late, and will call after work. We text during the day, and confirms she is calling, she seems fine. She did not call. Fairly hilarious now two days in a row she ignored me.

So im done with her. Hard to tell if she is just with other dudes or if she has some anxiety problem.

So, taking a casual approach to this, if she called tomorrow what would you guys do? Would you take offense she didnt have the simple courtesy of sending a message or something or would you not really care? I dont know it seems like it shows something about their character.

 

[stn]

Can't stand that feeling when you find a profile of a person you're interested in and everything seems perfect, like they are what you want, and you are what they want (At least in your mind), you send them a funny, concise message that shows lucid thinking that you at the very minimum read their profile, and then nothing. You know she read the message, and then she visits your profile every other day give or take. I just don't get it.

Then you get the "X has rated you highly" message, so you message them and no response.

I get weirdos like that. View my profile, rate me highly, never message. Sadly for them I'm not online to feed their insecurities. Hence, I don't message girls anymore at all. Things are much easier now, to be honest. Let them do all the work.

 

[Jellycrackers]

So I decided to finally just give in and make a profile since I'm still home from school for the summer. I'll probably disable it when I'm back in school, but I have some time now that I'm out for a while. So I figure why not?

Will you guys critique my profile and rate it? I'd appreciate it, and I'll do the same for y'all as well!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ComposerSteve

I know I need some better pictures. Hopefully I'll find a way to subtly get a shirtless picture in without looking too douchey. I'm not huge, but I'm decently cut and have a visible 4 pack... 5 and 6 will hopefully be on their way soon.

Thanks, and good luck to you all!

 

[Jhoan]

So I decided to finally just give in and make a profile since I'm still home from school for the summer. I'll probably disable it when I'm back in school, but I have some time now that I'm out for a while. So I figure why not?

Will you guys critique my profile and rate it? I'd appreciate it, and I'll do the same for y'all as well!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ComposerSteve

I know I need some better pictures. Hopefully I'll find a way to subtly get a shirtless picture in without looking too douchey. I'm not huge, but I'm decently cut and have a visible 4 pack... 5 and 6 will hopefully be on their way soon.

Thanks, and good luck to you all!

Rated. You do look pretty young. I've been more active on this site lately until I go back to school myself in late August. The pictures with the glasses make you look older (maybe it's because they're black framed). My advice would be to be more specific in the 6 Things I Can't Do Without Section. Too many girls' profiles that I've read focus on general material things that I've read dozens of times ad nauseam. Also, I don't think shirtless pictures are a must as long as it shows that you're working out through the clothes that you wear. But if you want to go for it and think it'll work in your favor, then I don't see why not.

For example, the main picture that I have (my OKC handle is heightartist) shows off my arms and my chest which shows that I'm in shape. I've gotten more replies since I changed my picture. That said, I wouldn't rule out adding a shirtless picture of myself in the beach or at some other public body of water in the near future.

I would say focus on those things that pertain to your hobbies/what makes you you i.e. you mentioned music? List the instrument you play, etc. Otherwise, I think it's solid. The more things you add that girls can relate to, the better.

For example, the other day I changed my profile and added "Writing in cursive" to my I'm Really Good At List and a girl that I had sent a message to replied to both my question and sent out a second message saying it's nice to know that she's not the only one that still knows how to write in cursive. However, my messages have fizzled lately as I haven't gotten past a second exchange since girls have lost interest so I'd be lucky if I can make it past the second one with said chick.

Any way, good luck man and don't get frustrated/discouraged if girls don't reply to your message or suddenly stop replying. It happens but always keep your head up and keep hitting up girls no matter what; you're bound to get a date or two eventually. Ask them something that they said on their profile and hope for the best.

 

[Sadetar]

Time for an update:

I have a date with this super cute Asian girl on Tuesday. We've been talking for a while, and moved from the site to texting one another. Interested in seeing how the date goes. I decided to make it at 8 p.m., so if the date doesn't go too well, I can use the "I have work in the morning" excuse.

On another topic: I am talking to another woman on Blendr, she shot me a message super quickly, and tossed me her digits. Now, I always reverse image a person's picture, just in case, and I found she had another profile on PoF. But, this woman was in Illinois rather than Florida, plus she was taller and younger in that profile rather than her Blendr profile. Thus I decided to locate her phone number's area code, which was in California. Even though this person is "verified" on Blendr, this overall situation has a stench.

I decided to message the PoF account, explained the situation, if it is the same person, I am sure she will confirm it, if it is not the same person, I'll quickly find out.

Wow. I learn something new every day.

I am all ears. How do you reverse images?

Also I would be a bit more careful, if a female seems to be too eager. It can be the start of the love story of the century, but it can be just someone pulling your leg. Good that you are smart and aware of that. Thank god I haven't never used sites like that, I would most likely be just way too naive.

Good luck with the Asian cutie!

Can't stand that feeling when you find a profile of a person you're interested in and everything seems perfect, like they are what you want, and you are what they want (At least in your mind), you send them a funny, concise message that shows lucid thinking that you at the very minimum read their profile, and then nothing. You know she read the message, and then she visits your profile every other day give or take. I just don't get it.

Then you get the "X has rated you highly" message, so you message them and no response.

Interesting, very interesting.

I seriously has no understanding how date sites work, but according to this thread, I am starting to believe they are the incarnations of unlogical thinking and only exist to mess with the minds of innocent little boys.

So I decided to finally just give in and make a profile since I'm still home from school for the summer. I'll probably disable it when I'm back in school, but I have some time now that I'm out for a while. So I figure why not?

Will you guys critique my profile and rate it? I'd appreciate it, and I'll do the same for y'all as well!
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/ComposerSteve

I know I need some better pictures. Hopefully I'll find a way to subtly get a shirtless picture in without looking too douchey. I'm not huge, but I'm decently cut and have a visible 4 pack... 5 and 6 will hopefully be on their way soon.

Thanks, and good luck to you all!

Ok, I think your text seems to be alright even though I didn't read it through properly.

But the photos... There is couple great ones and couple totally horrid ones. If I were you, I would keep the profile pic one with you wearing a green shirt (absolutely awesome picture, just what I would advice men to put up as a profile pic *thumbs up*). Also the one with the orchestra is really neat. Just take the "!" away from the end of the sentence. Hmm. and I haven't yet made my mind about you with your friends in Christmas party. That isn't bad, but I am not convinced.

But if I were you, I would definitely take away the one with you and date (you and a date! Come on. Bad move and looks really douchey. Plus you have a reflection on your glasses and you have a really horsey smile on that one) and you with brother and cousin (ok, it is actually quite lovely photo, but something is off and perhaps it isn't good that it makes girls wanna fuck your brother).

Hopefully I wasn't too harsh. The feedback was given with good intentions and represent only my personal opinions (I am sure some people would disagree with me).

So, taking a casual approach to this, if she called tomorrow what would you guys do? Would you take offense she didnt have the simple courtesy of sending a message or something or would you not really care? I dont know it seems like it shows something about their character.

I wouldn't bother to be honest. Plus if you now start to be with her, she knows you will handle any kind of bad behaviour. Better not start any relationship like that. Her loss.

 

[TheApatheticOne]

I've had a flurry of activity for whatever reason after months of no messages/no replies to tons of messages. But certainly been.... odd.

Girl #1 - Mentioned her here, the Chipotle w/ 2 kids girl. Lunch date goes silky smooth. Hugs me afterwards, says we have to get together again ASAP. She's texting me non-stop. Good morning to good night. Says she's been on dates constantly for 2 months, but I'm the first that's been better than what's "on paper". Set up date for the next Sunday.... and the night before, she meets someone that was REALLY good, and tells me this 20 minutes after we were scheduled to meet up for brunch (was waiting for her call, hadn't left.)

Girl #2 - Beautiful girl, very flirty. Wants me to go to the DMB concert with her this past Friday. So before, we set up a date on Monday. Again, all these things and all the text Im getting is pretty much her running the show. On Monday, it falls through, she got stuck at work. She texted me a picture at her desk, apologized, wanted to know if I was free Tuesday or Wednesday, she would buy me a drink to apologize.

Tuesday, texting all day. We agree on 5 pm at a pizza place. She texts all day how excited she is. About an hour away, says she's gonna be late, apologizes, and says 7 for sure and to be there at 7. I get there at 7. Well, I text at 7:20 if she'll be able to make it or not, and I wait until 7:30. Nothing. Go home. Haven't heard from her since. Still on the website though, still checks me out every other day.

Girl #3 - Have a date with tomorrow. Lives kinda far away, but we've talked and texted non-stop for a week now, and have clicked 100%. She's incredibly cute, a nurse, has her own house, etc. So we'll see.

 

[Jellycrackers]

Rated. You do look pretty young. I've been more active on this site lately until I go back to school myself in late August. The pictures with the glasses make you look older (maybe it's because they're black framed). My advice would be to be more specific in the 6 Things I Can't Do Without Section. Too many girls' profiles that I've read focus on general material things that I've read dozens of times ad nauseam. Also, I don't think shirtless pictures are a must as long as it shows that you're working out through the clothes that you wear. But if you want to go for it and think it'll work in your favor, then I don't see why not.

For example, the main picture that I have (my OKC handle is heightartist) shows off my arms and my chest which shows that I'm in shape. I've gotten more replies since I changed my picture. That said, I wouldn't rule out adding a shirtless picture of myself in the beach or at some other public body of water in the near future.

I would say focus on those things that pertain to your hobbies/what makes you you i.e. you mentioned music? List the instrument you play, etc. Otherwise, I think it's solid. The more things you add that girls can relate to, the better.

For example, the other day I changed my profile and added "Writing in cursive" to my I'm Really Good At List and a girl that I had sent a message to replied to both my question and sent out a second message saying it's nice to know that she's not the only one that still knows how to write in cursive. However, my messages have fizzled lately as I haven't gotten past a second exchange since girls have lost interest so I'd be lucky if I can make it past the second one with said chick.

Any way, good luck man and don't get frustrated/discouraged if girls don't reply to your message or suddenly stop replying. It happens but always keep your head up and keep hitting up girls no matter what; you're bound to get a date or two eventually. Ask them something that they said on their profile and hope for the best.

Ok, I think your text seems to be alright even though I didn't read it through properly.

But the photos... There is couple great ones and couple totally horrid ones. If I were you, I would keep the profile pic one with you wearing a green shirt (absolutely awesome picture, just what I would advice men to put up as a profile pic *thumbs up*). Also the one with the orchestra is really neat. Just take the "!" away from the end of the sentence. Hmm. and I haven't yet made my mind about you with your friends in Christmas party. That isn't bad, but I am not convinced.

But if I were you, I would definitely take away the one with you and date (you and a date! Come on. Bad move and looks really douchey. Plus you have a reflection on your glasses and you have a really horsey smile on that one) and you with brother and cousin (ok, it is actually quite lovely photo, but something is off and perhaps it isn't good that it makes girls wanna fuck your brother).

Hopefully I wasn't too harsh. The feedback was given with good intentions and represent only my personal opinions (I am sure some people would disagree with me).

Thanks you two. I'm changing up some of the text to be more specific now, and I removed the picture from the formal event. I suppose that picture was supposed to say "Hey look, I do go out and socialize with people!" but I can understand what you mean.

And I don't think I'll be too discouraged about it. This isn't a last resort or anything since I still meet lots of girls at school. But it'll be fun to see how this ends up!

 

[Jhoan]

Girl #2 - Beautiful girl, very flirty. Wants me to go to the DMB concert with her this past Friday. So before, we set up a date on Monday. Again, all these things and all the text Im getting is pretty much her running the show. On Monday, it falls through, she got stuck at work. She texted me a picture at her desk, apologized, wanted to know if I was free Tuesday or Wednesday, she would buy me a drink to apologize.

Tuesday, texting all day. We agree on 5 pm at a pizza place. She texts all day how excited she is. About an hour away, says she's gonna be late, apologizes, and says 7 for sure and to be there at 7. I get there at 7. Well, I text at 7:20 if she'll be able to make it or not, and I wait until 7:30. Nothing. Go home. Haven't heard from her since. Still on the website though, still checks me out every other day.

Damn man she sounds pretty flakey. If you value your time, I would suggest you put her down and cut her loose. My brother had a similar experience with a girl from the internet recently (I got his blessing to tell you). She was attractive, flirty texts, the works. However, when he tried scheduling a meet up with her a couple of times she would cancel on him at the last minute.

As a result, while it was cold, he told her flatout "I don't want to speak to you any more." You can imagine this infuriated her but fact of the matter is that he didn't want to waste his time with her any more. One of the golden rules of dating is if both parties are interested, they will make time for each other no matter what. You made time for her but she didn't make time for you. It looks like girl#3 is definitely making time for you.

 

[BoboBrazil]

Ahh the good ole "stuck at work/last minute assignment excuse" that they just so happen to find out about a hour before you are supposed to meet. Nice try ladies, I've used that one before my self and I'm not falling for it. Automatic end all communication if they try that on me. You get one shot with me and that's it.