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[dochuge]

Trying out making my mails shorter. It is really odd as it feels like I am not putting any effort into it. But worth a shot.

Yes, short and to the point is best. Try to be funny and clever if you can. Playfully teasing her isn't a bad idea either. Has to be PLAYFUL though, not mean spirited. And asking to go out on a date on the first message is a no no I'm afraid. You need to connect and develop a rapport with her first. No, you don't want to be pen pals but you can't ask right off the bat. I wait about three to four messages in if I feel like we may fit. Women have to be comfortable with you first or they aren't going to date you.

 

[Jimothy]

I find if I have to spend more than like, 30 seconds composing a message, I won't get a reply. Online dating is weird.

 

[OriginofHysteria]

I find if I have to spend more than like, 30 seconds composing a message, I won't get a reply. Online dating is weird.

Use this line from Anchorman:

"what do you say we go out on a date? Have some chicken...maybe some sex...you know, see what happens?"

Surprisingly I get replies.

 

[Oblivion]

SO. FUCKING. PISSED.

So I'm coming home from work, and on the subway, I meet up with this smokin' hot babe. I start chattin' with her, and the conversation's going pretty decently. Granted, she was kind of an airhead but at least we were talking. Anyway, suddenly some random, creepy ass dude sits down next to her out of the blue and starts trying to talk to her. At first she was humoring him, but it became clear that this dude was not right in the head and, kept trying to hit on her. This motherfucker wound up cockblocking me the whole ride!

We both got off at the same stop, and so did that fucking douche! Noticing that she was extremely uncomfortable, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her home, and she said that it was okay, and that a "friend" was gonna meet her. Turned out her "friend" was a pretty good looking dude, and they hugged and walked away holding each other.

So all that goddamn effort for nothing. UGH.

Dammit. I was planning to write to you earlier on, but it seems I deleted that message. My mistake.

The hair isn't bad at all on the last photo, it is a bit blurry shot though, but all in all I still think you should keep it.

If you want couple quick ideas based on what I thought of your text here you go. I don't know if it is a good think to talk about wanting to be in a creative department for tv seriers or so (even if it would be really likely for you to manage to do that), it makes you sound like a 14-year-old little boy wanting to create a mmorpg on his own. I would recommend of dropping it out. Your comment along the lines that "oh my, I like a whole lot of different things and good at in all of those since I am so awesome, heh" needs also quite much working, even if playfulness and even a certain level of cheekyness is interesting in my opinion. You should also think do you want to really underline your nerdyness or will you just let it come as a side product of your absolutely smashing life.

Just send us a link, when you have edited your text...

Spoiler

you are awesome, I like you, don't take that feedback too negative

Sorry for the late response, but appreciate your advice, and don't worry, I didn't take any of it negatively.

 

[Sadetar]

Ill make it visible so you can see and here's a typical message, maybe my messages are just dull.

Hey, how's it going? You've lived in a lot of places, so what made you choose SF? I've just moved from the UK although i've lived in New York and Australia amongst other places.

So what art are you into, do you create any of your own art? As you'll see from my profile i make tonnes and i sell it all around the world.

Anyways your profile makes you sound pretty awesome and i think we'd have loads to talk about so hope to chat more.


So I take a few key words from their profile and use that to make the message. But re reading that I just think they read it and can't be arsed to reply. But I have no idea how to make it exciting or funny when their profiles are not either.

I do message pretty girls, not 10/10s but what I find attractive although recently I started messaging ugly fat girls and even they don't bother. Maybe it's just my messages or my picture but I have no clue why hundreds of messages go unanswered.

Ok, what comes to your profile lets start with the photos.

Never ever use mirror self taken photos, especially not as the main photo. This is a big no, no. If you don't have any friends to take the photo for you, use timer. The second photo is quite alright and I actually dig the last photo - you are doing something else than just posing.

Your text is surprisingly good... even though I wouldn't take honesty to the level that I would write that my favourite movie is "40 Year Old Virgin". I don't know what that is, but it just sounds so very wrong on a dating site like that.

Other than that, I think it is very solid. You should even get bonus points from Totoro and English accent. I would warmly recommend you to change the main photo though (and your facial hair as it is does you know favours, at least the neck beard part).

What comes to that message, it is first of all way too long. One or two sentences is a max I would recommend you to write. It also isn't witty at all, but to be honest, quite boring. You mentioning you sell your art all around the world makes you also look in a bad way quite annoying and cocky.

Perhaps you could shorten your message and try to make them a bit more silly. Don't be so... I don't know, predictable perhaps. Hell, send a message saying "Free pony rides" or something. Hahah, just write something they are not expecting to make you stand out from the flow of messages.

You might also want to lower your expectations a bit and try all kind of women just to see how it goes.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Maybe if you said it prior to my run this morning! Though, I'll do it again on Sunday morning, so maybe pics then. Some other Gaffers can tell you how open I am about my body. The downside of nude modeling is the death of one's modesty (though I see that as an upside!).

Ooh. Attaboy.

I am waiting those photos by the way. Don't let me down.

Oh yeah, I didn't think about tits bouncing up and down when I wrote that original post. When I run, I usually don't notice those details, but that's stems from me aiming to keep my breaths going at a rhythm, getting deep enough breaths, and pushing myself to the limits. Hard to oogle at a woman when you're dying of exhaustion. Though you mentioning that piece of info will probably ruin that now!

Hahaha, you are welcome.

I also need to add that I am not a professional runner or anything and I don't even call my moving running, it is just mild jogging. What you do actually sounds way more serious. Good for you though!

Yea... This site continues to make me cringe on the daily. I can't stop going on it though. Some people have no shame.

I am actually surprised.

I thought sex would be ridiculously easy for a girl to get and that there is always males that are way more desperate even how personal looking the girl would be. Oh well, I have been proven wrong before. At least she is honest.

SO. FUCKING. PISSED.

So I'm coming home from work, and on the subway, I meet up with this smokin' hot babe. I start chattin' with her, and the conversation's going pretty decently. Granted, she was kind of an airhead but at least we were talking. Anyway, suddenly some random, creepy ass dude sits down next to her out of the blue and starts trying to talk to her. At first she was humoring him, but it became clear that this dude was not right in the head and, kept trying to hit on her. This motherfucker wound up cockblocking me the whole ride!

We both got off at the same stop, and so did that fucking douche! Noticing that she was extremely uncomfortable, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her home, and she said that it was okay, and that a "friend" was gonna meet her. Turned out her "friend" was a pretty good looking dude, and they hugged and walked away holding each other.

So all that goddamn effort for nothing. UGH.

Ok, now you stop what you are doing.

Right now.

Seriously, you can't be pissed or annoyed to a girl who you just randomly talked on a metro/bus/train. She already has a significant other and that should be totally alright to you. She was just being nice talking to you, that is all. You can't be expecting anything more than that.

You can't also be annoyed to the random douche who tried to cock block you, since the girl was already taken anyways (and even if she wouldn't have been, he would have had the same right to talk to her as you did).

Also being pissed to the man waiting her is absolutely ridiculous. They knew each other beforehand and it should be perfectly fine for a person to have friends/boyfriends/lovers/family even if you find him/her attractive in public transportation.

You used couple minutes of your valuable time and you think it was for nothing. Come on, be a man. You managed to talk to a smoking hot girl even if she was already taken and made her journey a bit more bearable. You also tried to be nice and walk her home, but that wasn't necessary. Being annoyed cause of all that is just ridiculous. I hope that you realize it also yourself.

You should try to see the positive side of things and if you have problems with even that kind of rejection, I am not being too hopeful for you finding relationship.

Snap out of that kind of negative thinking for your own good. It is just time consuming and does you only harm.

I am not trying to be mean, I am trying to be helpful even if it might make me sound like a douche.

Sorry for the late response, but appreciate your advice, and don't worry, I didn't take any of it negatively.

Good, since I am here trying to help you all and not trying to piss you off.

 

[Charlie McCarthy]

Thought this ad would be appropriate for this thread, it's pretty funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwmJuY_xHr0

I read this thread occasionally, always interesting to read others experiences. I never used OKCupid, only POF and had moderate success. Granted I wasn't looking for the "love of my life", but just wanted to get back into dating after being in a 7 year relationship. Very few bad dates and a lot of good/great dates which led to some sex, which if I am being honest is really all I wanted at the time.

Haven't used it for over a year now but it was great for just getting back into the scene and still am friends with a couple of girls and we regularly hit the city dance clubs.

I've read some opinions in here about "shirtless" pics. I can only speak from personal experience but when I put one up, I started regularly getting messages from women. So if you workout and have a decent body, don't be afraid to show it off. Of course some people will be like "look at this douchbag!", but the key to everything dating (imo) is not putting to much thought into what others think.

Also Sadetar, I think your gorgeous

 

[Ovid]

Hey guys.

I searched Google and couldn't find anything.

Are there currently any trials or discounts for A-list?

 

[Darklord]

After going through a really shit break up and feeling like total shit the last month+ I decided to get back on OKC and I redid my profile today.

What do you think? Any help is always appreciated and you guys were helpful last time. www.okcupid.com/profile/MightyNova

 

[Bleepey]

I got a brief popup message saying someone liked me whilst on my phone. Unfortunately i didn't click it fast enough and I don't know where to look to find out who it was. Any ideas.

 

[stn]

Check your e-mail that's linked to your OKC account. Sometimes you'll be notified of who gave you a 4-5 star rating. Doesn't always work.

 

[iRAWRasaurus]

So this girl sent me a msg on OKC and I answered back. I ended up giving her my digits and we have been texting a little bit. However everytime I log into OKC I always have a notice saying she visited my page again and again. So what do you guys think? Personally its a tad bit creepy.

 

[peteykirch]

So the girl who rated me highly and I decided to message, apparently did it out of a mistake, or my message completely turned her off, because it's been over a week.

Then I get another notification someone rated me highly and it's this girl in Tennessee. >_< I'm in New Jersey, I don't even know how she stumbled upon my profile in the first place.

 

[Spunky Monkey]

Ok, what comes to your profile lets start with the photos.

Never ever use mirror self taken photos, especially not as the main photo. This is a big no, no. If you don't have any friends to take the photo for you, use timer. The second photo is quite alright and I actually dig the last photo - you are doing something else than just posing.

Your text is surprisingly good... even though I wouldn't take honesty to the level that I would write that my favourite movie is "40 Year Old Virgin". I don't know what that is, but it just sounds so very wrong on a dating site like that.

Other than that, I think it is very solid. You should even get bonus points from Totoro and English accent. I would warmly recommend you to change the main photo though (and your facial hair as it is does you know favours, at least the neck beard part).

What comes to that message, it is first of all way too long. One or two sentences is a max I would recommend you to write. It also isn't witty at all, but to be honest, quite boring. You mentioning you sell your art all around the world makes you also look in a bad way quite annoying and cocky.

Perhaps you could shorten your message and try to make them a bit more silly. Don't be so... I don't know, predictable perhaps. Hell, send a message saying "Free pony rides" or something. Hahah, just write something they are not expecting to make you stand out from the flow of messages.

You might also want to lower your expectations a bit and try all kind of women just to see how it goes.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Cheers, it's really appreciated.

I'm still not sure on what to exactly write in a message though. Most girls profiles are very hard to work with because they are pretty dry themselves but you are right my current messages are dull and offer little reason to reply.

I have tried wacky nonsense messages in the past with no luck. I guess the hardest thing is writing a funny message, that's short and engaging without it sounding faked or canned especially as many girls seem to demand original messages and then don't reply anyways. But I'll try changing my pictures and messages and cross my fingers it changes things.

 

[Necrovex]

Ooh. Attaboy.

I am waiting those photos by the way. Don't let me down.


Hahaha, you are welcome.

I also need to add that I am not a professional runner or anything and I don't even call my moving running, it is just mild jogging. What you do actually sounds way more serious. Good for you though!

Going to be forced to do a self pic (I hate taking photos of myself!!!) to accomplish that deed. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

But you can see some of my pics in the "post your pic thread!" Spent some time in an anime convention today. Posted a few pictures on that thread, and I plan to post the rest tomorrow.

I am following the couch to 5k program. So, I am psuedo running (though it seems like I always underrate the amount of working out I do by my friend's account). I am aiming to become an officer in the Army, so I have to become a kick-ass runner.

That reminds me that I should shoot that PoF girl a follow up text tomorrow if I don't hear from her tonight. I haven't heard from her since I spoke to her yesterday about arranging a meet up. So, I am guessing she has either been really busy, forgot, the combination of both (I have certainly been in that boat before!), or simply lost interest. So, I'll hit her up tomorrow to access the situation. If things don't pan out, it will be time to move on to the next woman.

 

[Bluemongoose]

So this girl sent me a msg on OKC and I answered back. I ended up giving her my digits and we have been texting a little bit. However everytime I log into OKC I always have a notice saying she visited my page again and again. So what do you guys think? Personally its a tad bit creepy.

Really? I thought the site said you could visit someone's page as much as you'd like and they'd only get one notification about it- preventing the creep factor. Well, I'm pretty much done with the site.

 

[-tetsuo-]

So this girl sent me a msg on OKC and I answered back. I ended up giving her my digits and we have been texting a little bit. However everytime I log into OKC I always have a notice saying she visited my page again and again. So what do you guys think? Personally its a tad bit creepy.

Probably looking at your pictures or reading your questions.

 

[Sadetar]

Thought this ad would be appropriate for this thread, it's pretty funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwmJuY_xHr0

Hahahah, that was quite golden. Thank gods youtube is again working at my working place.

I've read some opinions in here about "shirtless" pics. I can only speak from personal experience but when I put one up, I started regularly getting messages from women. So if you workout and have a decent body, don't be afraid to show it off. Of course some people will be like "look at this douchbag!", but the key to everything dating (imo) is not putting to much thought into what others think.

I need to agree with you with this one.

Even though I still recommend, if possible, to put up of a photo were one is not posing but chilling in the beach or for example working out - you will have the same effect but don't come out as big of a douche to the female viewers.

Also Sadetar, I think your gorgeous

Well thank you! That was totally unexpected, but yet highly appreciated. Very sweet of you to say so.

So this girl sent me a msg on OKC and I answered back. I ended up giving her my digits and we have been texting a little bit. However everytime I log into OKC I always have a notice saying she visited my page again and again. So what do you guys think? Personally its a tad bit creepy.

Not at all. Like said, she might be just checking your text or your photos. It is a dating site, she is interested about you, thus she checks your profile to check something. I would recommend you to not make this a problem since it really isn't one.

After going through a really shit break up and feeling like total shit the last month+ I decided to get back on OKC and I redid my profile today.

What do you think? Any help is always appreciated and you guys were helpful last time. www.okcupid.com/profile/MightyNova

Hey, I could read it and check it for you, but your privacy settings don't let anybody outside of OCK to see it.

Cheers, it's really appreciated.

I'm still not sure on what to exactly write in a message though. Most girls profiles are very hard to work with because they are pretty dry themselves but you are right my current messages are dull and offer little reason to reply.

I have tried wacky nonsense messages in the past with no luck. I guess the hardest thing is writing a funny message, that's short and engaging without it sounding faked or canned especially as many girls seem to demand original messages and then don't reply anyways. But I'll try changing my pictures and messages and cross my fingers it changes things.

I can only imagine how challenging dating sites are, especially for men using them.

I don't know can I really help with the messages that much, especially without seeing their profiles at all, but I am sure you can use both your common sense and smashing sense of humour to charm them.

If you feel like it, you can send couple of your new messages to here as well for us to see.

Best of luck for your mission!

Going to be forced to do a self pic (I hate taking photos of myself!!!) to accomplish that deed. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

But you can see some of my pics in the "post your pic thread!" Spent some time in an anime convention today. Posted a few pictures on that thread, and I plan to post the rest tomorrow.

I am following the couch to 5k program. So, I am psuedo running (though it seems like I always underrate the amount of working out I do by my friend's account). I am aiming to become an officer in the Army, so I have to become a kick-ass runner.

That reminds me that I should shoot that PoF girl a follow up text tomorrow if I don't hear from her tonight. I haven't heard from her since I spoke to her yesterday about arranging a meet up. So, I am guessing she has either been really busy, forgot, the combination of both (I have certainly been in that boat before!), or simply lost interest. So, I'll hit her up tomorrow to access the situation. If things don't pan out, it will be time to move on to the next woman.

I checked that thread and you are actually a very cute boy. That said, I am totally expecting to see those forced selfies.

And good luck with the girl!

EDIT

Probably looking at your pictures or reading your questions.

What comes to being a creeper and looking someones photos, you are a very good looking lad.

 

[Necrovex]

I finally decided it was time to get a picture with my little fluffer. Though, I had to do those dreadful self pics (since none of my family members are in town). I took a few pics, and I dislike the vast majority of them, though I found this one (semi) decent. So let me know if this is worth posting on my account, or if I should wait for my baby sis to return from Europe to get a better picture of me and the white beast.

Edit: Grabbing lunch/coffee Playing mini-golf with Reddit girl on Thursday. So, we'll see how that turns out! I am driving over to her area (about 45 minutes away), but I have been wanting to check out this mini-golf course for a few months. I have only heard praises about for this particular place. Even if the date is meh, I'll be able to enjoy the awesomeness that is mini-golf.

 

[Nero3000]

Can anyone give me feedback on my profile? Thanks! : http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Nero3000?cf=profile

I know the picture is a bit goofy, but I have a limited choice.

 

[Bleepey]

Woot. I ruined my chances with a girl. We were talking about gender dynamics in relationships and i couldn't keep my mouth shut or my opinions to myself. I mentioned that the opposite sex can't always relate or empathise with the opposite sex. Whether it's how women may feel unsafe at night and men not being able to relate, or guys dealing with rejection so often that they are forced to play the numbers game and women thinking men are man whores. She said that if guys instead of played the numbers game and got to know girls properly they'd not have to worry with rejection. However me then saying by that rationale the friendzone would not exist if she was correct was the straw that broke the camel's back and she stopped talking to me! Woot!

 

[Bleepey]

edit dp

 

[peteykirch]

So this girl sent me a msg on OKC and I answered back. I ended up giving her my digits and we have been texting a little bit. However everytime I log into OKC I always have a notice saying she visited my page again and again. So what do you guys think? Personally its a tad bit creepy.

At least there was communication. I can't stand where I send a girl a message, she reads it, never responds, but yet keeps viewing your profile everyday.

 

[Sadetar]

Can anyone give me feedback on my profile? Thanks! : http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Nero3000?cf=profile

I know the picture is a bit goofy, but I have a limited choice.

The middle photo of you were it shows a bit more than just your face is a perfect profile pic, even if a bit blurry. If it is anything that you look like at the moment, I would heartily recommend you to go with it as the main photo. Or if possible, take a new same style non blurry photo of yourself were you show your upper body. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your arms or upper body, in fact they seem to look rather nice so you should definitely show more than a business shirt in the main pic.

Your text seems interesting, but there are some small flaws here and there that bugger even me while English isn't my native language. I am actually not even sure are they errors or is my language skills just badly rusty. Anyways, here we go.

"I had to chose from." sounds very wrong to me. I don't know should it be "I had to choose from" but it at least sounds more right to me, if that makes any sense. (And yes, I mainly go with what sounds right, I have no idea about the proper grammar to be honest.)

Your favourite section is generally quite nice, but I wouldn't say does something counts twice so near to each other. Try to think another way to say either one of those. Repetition is just utterly boring. Also I am not really sure do I follow you with "Food: I like to think I'm open to food, but I can be particular."... Can you say someone might be particular? I have no idea. Are you trying to say you can be picky? At least that would make a whole lot of sense to me.

But hey, other than those it was actually really nicely written profile and I enjoyed reading it! Congratulations, well done!

I finally decided it was time to get a picture with my little fluffer. Though, I had to do those dreadful self pics (since none of my family members are in town). I took a few pics, and I dislike the vast majority of them, though I found this one (semi) decent. So let me know if this is worth posting on my account, or if I should wait for my baby sis to return from Europe to get a better picture of me and the white beast.

Edit: Grabbing lunch/coffee Playing mini-golf with Reddit girl on Thursday. So, we'll see how that turns out! I am driving over to her area (about 45 minutes away), but I have been wanting to check out this mini-golf course for a few months. I have only heard praises about for this particular place. Even if the date is meh, I'll be able to enjoy the awesomeness that is mini-golf.

I would perhaps grap the photo a bit higher so it wouldn't look like a selfie. Other than that it is extremely cute!

Ooh, and you have really nice plans for a date! Hopefully the girl is as awesome as mini-golf.

Woot. I ruined my chances with a girl. We were talking about gender dynamics in relationships and i couldn't keep my mouth shut or my opinions to myself. I mentioned that the opposite sex can't always relate or empathise with the opposite sex. Whether it's how women may feel unsafe at night and men not being able to relate, or guys dealing with rejection so often that they are forced to play the numbers game and women thinking men are man whores. She said that if guys instead of played the numbers game and got to know girls properly they'd not have to worry with rejection. However me then saying by that rationale the friendzone would not exist if she was correct was the straw that broke the camel's back and she stopped talking to me! Woot!

I am sorry, but your post for what ever reason humoured me a great deal. I might need to go and get some sleep soon.

I am anyways sorry to hear about you ruining your chances with a nice girl. Sucks man. Then again she might have been somewhat touchy, since I think that the discussion was absolutely priceless, even if I wasn't part of it.

I still need to agree with her a bit about men playing with numbers being treacherous. Seriously, if men would do that less, they wouldn't perhaps as often be rejected. Then again I am a female and I haven't never played the number game, even if I perhaps could have, so I might be biased.

 

[-tetsuo-]

Sadetar has turned into our resident dating counselor lol. She is great!

 

[Bleepey]

The middle photo of you were it shows a bit more than just your face is a perfect profile pic, even if a bit blurry. If it is anything that you look like at the moment, I would heartily recommend you to go with it as the main photo. Or if possible, take a new same style non blurry photo of yourself were you show your upper body. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your arms or upper body, in fact they seem to look rather nice so you should definitely show more than a business shirt in the main pic.

Your text seems interesting, but there are some small flaws here and there that bugger even me while English isn't my native language. I am actually not even sure are they errors or is my language skills just badly rusty. Anyways, here we go.

"I had to chose from." sounds very wrong to me. I don't know should it be "I had to choose from" but it at least sounds more right to me, if that makes any sense. (And yes, I mainly go with what sounds right, I have no idea about the proper grammar to be honest.)

Your favourite section is generally quite nice, but I wouldn't say does something count twice so near to each other. Try to think another way to say either one of those. Repetition is just utterly boring. Also I am not really sure do I follow you with "Food: I like to think I'm open to food, but I can be particular."... Can you say someone might be particular? I have no idea. Are you trying to say you can be picky? At least that would make a whole lot of sense to me.

But hey, other than those it was actually really nicely written profile and I enjoyed reading it! Congratulations, well done!


I would perhaps grap the photo a bit higher so it wouldn't look like a selfie. Other than that it is extremely cute!

Ooh, and you have really nice plans for a date! Hopefully the girl is as awesome as mini-golf.


I am sorry, but your post for what ever reason humoured me a great deal. I might need to go and get some sleep soon.

I am anyways sorry to hear about you ruining your chances with a nice girl. Sucks man. Then again she might have been somewhat touchy, since I think that the discussion was absolutely priceless, even if I wasn't part of it.

I still need to agree with her a bit about men playing with numbers being treacherous. Seriously, if men would do that less, they wouldn't perhaps as often be rejected. Then again I am a female and I haven't never played the number game, even if I perhaps could have, so I might be biased.

The entire transcript will probably have you in stiches. I seriously need to remember, that my opinion no matter how right i may be, it doesn't need to be said. I am not upset about it, i just found it amusing.

 

[Nero3000]

[Feedback on profile]

Thanks!

Nearly all of you grammar edits were spot on. You can be particular about food.

The pictures are a year old, since then I've lost 4kg - so I should find a more recent photo, but most I have sunglasses on, which im adverse to using. Ill find something.

 

[Sadetar]

The entire transcript will probably have you in stiches. I seriously need to remember, that my opinion no matter how right i may be, it doesn't need to be said. I am not upset about it, i just found it amusing.

I am sure I would have been laughing my ass off if I would have been listening the whole conversation.

Hahaha, well, you could perhaps learn to sugarcoat your sayings a bit if you think you have generally problems with that kind of things. Then again I am myself way too blunt most of the time, but thank gods most of my friends are used to it already. At least I can say that am easy to hang around with, since people don't really need to guess what I think.

Spoiler

(Even though quite many of my friends have said later on after getting to know me a bit better that they thought in the beginning that I am a total douche. According to them some things I say are not really socially acceptable. For example my female friend whined to me that her hair looks bad since she hasn't dyed it in a while. I was being myself and said that "Now when you mentioned, it is actually quite horrid." I need to say I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just agreeing with her and saying that she was correct.)

Sadetar has turned into our resident dating counselor lol. She is great!

Hahahahah. It seems I generally have way too much time in my hands at work (and that I am way too addicted to this not to check it sometimes at home as well).

I still take that as a compliment and I do think that reading your different situations is extremely interesting. Also if my comment helped somebody in some way, it served its purpose and I am always very happy to hear it.

Thanks!

Nearly all of you grammar edits were spot on. You can be particular about food.

The pictures are a year old, since then I've lost 4kg - so I should find a more recent photo, but most I have sunglasses on, which im adverse to using. Ill find something.

You are welcome and I am happy to hear that I was able to help.

Good that at least some of my comments were correct. Like I said English isn't my native language so I generally go with what sounds right and if there is a word I haven't seen used in a certain way before, I might be a bit lost.

Also it would be great if you could find some never, even more flattering photos!

Yay, you will do great!

 

[Cow Mengde]

Sadetar, would you mind critiquing my profile? I want to know what I woman thinks. Be as brutally honest as possible. If my profile is the worst profile on the face of the planet, tell it like it is.

I'll PM you the link mainly because I want to keep track and see if my views improve after editing it. Having it in public just screws up the stats.

 

[-tetsuo-]

I am 3 high ratings away from 20. GAF, help GAF.

 

[forknknife]

I am 3 high ratings away from 20. GAF, help GAF.

can people see the ratings of others?

 

[Sadetar]

Sadetar, would you mind critiquing my profile? I want to know what I woman thinks. Be as brutally honest as possible. If my profile is the worst profile on the face of the planet, tell it like it is.

I'll PM you the link mainly because I want to keep track and see if my views improve after editing it. Having it in public just screws up the stats.

Hey, sounds good. I will be happy to read it. Just send me the link and I promise to look it up... tomorrow. Or well, tecnically today, but I will sleep first since it is nearly 3 am in here. Hopefully that is fine to you.

Hahah, and hey, I don't give any guarantees that it will be any better after editing it based on my critique... but lets take it in a way that at least I would like it more then... Right? And at least I try, if that counts.

I am 3 high ratings away from 20. GAF, help GAF.

Ooh, I will definitely be checking also that out when I wake up. Really looking forward to it to be honest.

Spoiler

Also I am not sure have I told you enough many times how sexy beast you really are, if I haven't you should take this as a reminder.

Edit...
I wasn't going to read it through, but I couldn't help myself.

I am going to give you better feedback later on... but lets just get married, ok?

 

[Cow Mengde]

Hahah, and hey, I don't give any guarantees that it will be any better after editing it based on my critique... but lets take it in a way that at least I would like it more then... Right? And at least I try, if that counts.

Yeah, everyone's different, but let's face it, a guy isn't going to see things the same as a woman. So it's good to have a woman's perspective.

 

[Necrovex]

I am 3 high ratings away from 20. GAF, help GAF.

I was going to give you a five star rating, but then I saw I already gave you five stars. I also enjoyed your profile. One day, I'll be a man who can cook (only Asian cruises).

 

[equap]

I found a friend i'm interested in on pof, I want to send her a message that's funny and somewhat serious about me liking her.

any ideas?

 

[paparazzo]

Finally get the nerve to message someone and the next day she deletes her profile. Not that I actually expected a reply, but damn.

Anyway, question. So, my hairline is receding a fair amount, though nowhere near Jude Law levels of bad yet, but the photos on my profile don't really reflect this due to some of them being several to 18 months old and a recent one being a selfie with some comb over action going on, but it's how I style my hair anyways. So, should I mention this anywhere on my profile?

 

[DiscoJer]

Finally get the nerve to message someone and the next day she deletes her profile. Not that I actually expected a reply, but damn.

Yeah, that's never a good feeling. I've had that happen more than a few times.

 

[dochuge]

Finally get the nerve to message someone and the next day she deletes her profile. Not that I actually expected a reply, but damn.

Anyway, question. So, my hairline is receding a fair amount, though nowhere near Jude Law levels of bad yet, but the photos on my profile don't really reflect this due to some of them being several to 18 months old and a recent one being a selfie with some comb over action going on, but it's how I style my hair anyways. So, should I mention this anywhere on my profile?

No, you should never draw attention like this about your various shortcomings or things about you that you are self conscious about. You want to display confidence online. They have eyes and will see for themselves. I think you have more of a problem about your hairline than most women would honestly.

 

[dochuge]

Yeah, that's never a good feeling. I've had that happen more than a few times.

Happened to me just a few weeks back. Thought we were connecting, she messaged me on a Sunday morning and told me about a cook out she was going to that day. I didn't want to appear needy so I thought I'd message her back that night and ask her out at that time. I try to and by then she had deleted it. Saw her profile on another site but didn't bother. Her loss.

 

[Jimothy]

I found a friend i'm interested in on pof, I want to send her a message that's funny and somewhat serious about me liking her.

any ideas?

If you have to dwell on what to say for more than a couple minutes, chances are the conversation will go nowhere. Just say FUCK IT and type something short and witty. Then you can worry about stating your intentions to her.

 

[-tetsuo-]

Ooh, I will definitely be checking also that out when I wake up. Really looking forward to it to be honest.

Spoiler

Also I am not sure have I told you enough many times how sexy beast you really are, if I haven't you should take this as a reminder.

Edit...
I wasn't going to read it through, but I couldn't help myself.

I am going to give you better feedback later on... but lets just get married, ok?

You're the best. It is a shame you don't live in Houston

 

[Sadetar]

You're the best. It is a shame you don't live in Houston

Hahah, what a polite young man we have in here.

Ok, kitty, what comes to your photos I am sure you are very aware that they are all somewhat unsharp/dark/blurry. We all still see what kind of beast you are, but you could perhaps try to take one current one without these already mentioned flaws. Wear a tank top and show a bit of your arms as well and women will be drooling all over you (well, they might be already, but lets say that even bigger crowds).

I enjoyed reading your text. It was smooth and somewhat fluent. These two sentences still lost me or didn't sound as good as the rest.

"With that, new office job, meet new people and all that." -with that, all that... repetition is not a friend.

"I also think about the projects I should have done when I was studying film as well as finishing film school all the time. I will soon. " This might very well be correct, but my brains just can't get hold of it. Then again if I am unable to understand it, it might be a bad sign. All the time - perhaps change the place or change it to at the same time, if that is equally correct.

Yeah, everyone's different, but let's face it, a guy isn't going to see things the same as a woman. So it's good to have a woman's perspective.

Well, I guess that it is true.

Oh, and you need to change your privacy settings on your profile so also people outside of OCK (meaning me in this case) would be able to see it.

Edit.
And this isn't most likely the best place to mention, but I am going for it anyways. If you are thinking about a good movie to watch with a girl I am warmly recommending Attack the Block. At least I enjoyed it really much, it has spaceninjawolfgorillas in it, absolutely awesome accents and all in all it made me smile.

 

[Leeness]

Aaaah, POF is becoming so boring. Guys are too weird to me haha. Oh well. Keep it open and if someone less weird comes along, fine, but whatever. E-dating is kind of dead for me haha.

 

[NihonTiger90]

I think now is a pretty good time to ask for help with a revamp of my profile:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/tiger21186

I know I need better photos, and I'm trying to find some of myself that aren't so old. I'm not exactly the most photogenic person out there (most of the ones I'm in are at bad angles) so I have to take care of that soon.

I also know I need to rewrite huge chunks of my profile, both to perhaps sound a bit more confident and perhaps to hide some of the "less desirable" hobbies like gaming. I'd rather not as I want to be upfront on those things, but I feel like they're working against me and girls see it as a major "turn-off" for some reason.

 

[ThisWreckage]

I closed my okcupid and pof accounts after not getting a single reply back for over a year. A waste of time and a lesson well learned. I can't recommend either of those sites to a man unless he is an actual model. It's hilarious to see moderate to good looking man being completely ignored on those sites because of all of the options women have.

 

[Jimothy]

I closed my okcupid and pof accounts after not getting a single reply back for over a year. A waste of time and a lesson well learned. I can't recommend either of those sites to a man unless he is an actual model. It's hilarious to see moderate to good looking man being completely ignored on those sites because of all of the options women have.

I'm baffled by posts like these. I have major self esteem issues and only have one picture on my page, and I've gotten like 10 numbers in the 2 months I've been on OKC. Maybe your messages need work. Telling people to give up because YOU had a bad experience is pretty dumb and cynical.

 

[electricshake]

I closed my okcupid and pof accounts after not getting a single reply back for over a year. A waste of time and a lesson well learned. I can't recommend either of those sites to a man unless he is an actual model. It's hilarious to see moderate to good looking man being completely ignored on those sites because of all of the options women have.

Where do you live? And did you ask gaf for any feedback on your profile/messages?

 

[Jimothy]

Not getting a reply after a year of trying is a signal that something is seriously wrong with your personality or looks. Are you overweight at all Wreckage?

 

[peteykirch]

Not getting a reply after a year of trying is a signal that something is seriously wrong with your personality or looks. Are you overweight at all Wreckage?

Still, I mean if you're realistic and not messaging drop dead gorgeous starlets, it shouldn't matter. If you set your standards low enough you should be able to find someone who'd at least reply, even in a platonic nature.

 

[stn]

I never close my profile. Why? It should be seen as a secondary tool to going out and meeting women. That way, even if a girl replies five months later you'll at least get that. But you'll be too busy chasing real women to even notice.

 

[paparazzo]

No, you should never draw attention like this about your various shortcomings or things about you that you are self conscious about. You want to display confidence online. They have eyes and will see for themselves. I think you have more of a problem about your hairline than most women would honestly.

Yeah, that's more or less what I figured. It's just that I didn't want to be like the numerous fatties that mislead people using closeups and angles and list themselves as "curvy" when they're actually overweight, haha. But it is something out of my control, unlike weight.