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[Bleepey]

It sounds like your problem is you're an obvious misogynist who just thinks you're telling it like it is.

Unattractive dudes get action from dating sites all the time. I know plenty. They're funny and successful and aren't bitter losers like you.

Charm is about 90% of the game, and every person that posts in here complaining about their lack of success is so clearly lacking it. Every single person.

You sir are completely full of shit. You can be die hard feminist and still admit that girls have it easier on dating sites. This isn't subjective opinion it's objective fact. Yes unnattractive dudes can get action on dating sites and i am sure they have to write a a dating profile so witty that he could make millions narrating it on stage as well as treat it like job hunting and sending out tonnes of messages. Look at the people online on OKC now, now look at sexual orientation by gender. You'll see straight and bi women are generally either red or yellow with a very rare green dot next to their profile. With straight or bi men it's green or blue with an occasional yellow. That's looking at it purely objectively. Women are more picky on dating sites most likely cos they have more options. Hell looking at it anecdotally I bet you have never heard a girl complain about lack of messages or ask for advice as to how to send better messages so that they'll get more responses or advice reworking their profile to get responses.

This is beyond retarded.

 

[Sarye]

I visit this thread from time to time to try to give some advice and in general see the progress you guys make. Anything I say here is anecdotal but that is a given.

I agree with you 100%. But when I said similar things I was accused of being misanthropic and lacking charm. If you're a man the looks quote is particularly apt. In real life, confidence can carry you half way, but not all the way. In online dating, confidence may not carry you at all.

I won't jump on you too hard but reading your posts here it comes across as aggressive and defensive. Someone offered their opinion, though a bit harshly, counter to yours and you took it way too personal. People called you out on it and well.. here we are.. arguing on the internet. I think what people are trying to say is that perhaps if this is the way you respond outside of GAF then perhaps your messages could use some work to these women online.

Now no one is saying that it's difficult to be a guy on these sites. They are obviously very skewed in women's favor. However you need to make the best of it instead of complaining how unfair it is.

Women not responding to your messages? Know that they get a truck load of messages? Shorten your message. Ask them ridiculous questions like "pizza or sushi?" Basically, make it super easy for them to respond.

Women stops responding after a few days? Women are usually talking to multiple people at once. Once they pick someone, they will stop talking to everyone else. Try to set up a date quicker. Don't take your online conversations to txt. Ask them out on a date after the conversation. Get their number on the pretense of setting up that date. You don't want them to know everything about you before your first date. It will remove the mystery and give them more opportunity to pass on you.

Most of all, don't take things too personally. If you're in a bad location, move. If you don't want to move to improve your social life then your options will be limited in this scope.

snip

There a lot of good stuff in here... some I agree with some I don't but I'll provide my 2 cents on these dating sites. Dating sites are skewed towards women. Meaning that it is easier for women to get a date on these sites than men. I don't think anyone disagrees with that. However something guys seem to forget that their experiences on the site is not the same as women. So we have to adjust our expectation as such.

When I was on OkCupid I got maybe 1 message a week... and maybe 2 views a week. Women gets a lot more. Some say 20.. or even 50 a week. We all know this happens.. however what people fail to grasp is that because it's different, our experiences and our habits in how we use these sites will differ as well. Sure it may be easy for us to reply to every single message because to us, it's a few minutes out of our day. For women, it's completely different. It's like getting 50 spam messages with maybe a few gems out of the lot. Plus the type of messages differ. I've seen some of the messages my wife got when she used OkCupid and some of the guy's messages are downright nasty. And they don't just send one. Try 5. Then there's the rejection ones. She made the mistake of responding to one of them just to be nice but when she wasn't interested it was, "whore, you're too good for me now huh?" plus a few more after that. It was much easier for her to just not reply.

The point I'm making is that there are different sides to this. Yes women get more messages than men. But they're not exactly great messages. But because they get so many, they're not going to be the one to search out and message you. We as guys need to have a more realistic expectation.

Also if you do happen to get a reply? Assume that time is ticking and don't take your time setting up a date. Also don't spend weeks txting her. Don't be desperate, but assume that the girl is talking to other guys as well.

Finally online dating should be used as a supplement. It is just a avenue to meet women. So is going to a bar, but no one is at a bar 24/7 hoping to meet that perfect girl. In the same vein, you shouldn't rely on online dating as your only source to meet women. You'll go crazy. Find some way of making it work for you. stn only messages women who messages him. I never had enough messages to do that, so I only messaged women who viewed my profile.

Online dating is not for everyone but it does work. I'm proof of that. There are others in this thread that has had success on OkCupid as well. In my circle of friends, I know of 2 success stories. Heck one of them is a short asian guy who married a white woman. You just have to keep your head up and try and be positive.

 

[Bleepey]

I visit this thread from time to time to try to give some advice and in general see the progress you guys make. Anything I say here is anecdotal but that is a given.


I won't jump on you too hard but reading your posts here it comes across as aggressive and defensive. Someone offered their opinion, though a bit harshly, counter to yours and you took it way too personal. People called you out on it and well.. here we are.. arguing on the internet. I think what people are trying to say is that perhaps if this is the way you respond outside of GAF then perhaps your messages could use some work to these women online.

Now no one is saying that it's difficult to be a guy on these sites. They are obviously very skewed in women's favor. However you need to make the best of it instead of complaining how unfair it is.

Women not responding to your messages? Know that they get a truck load of messages? Shorten your message. Ask them ridiculous questions like "pizza or sushi?" Basically, make it super easy for them to respond.

Women stops responding after a few days? Women are usually talking to multiple people at once. Once they pick someone, they will stop talking to everyone else. Try to set up a date quicker. Don't take your online conversations to txt. Ask them out on a date after the conversation. Get their number on the pretense of setting up that date. You don't want them to know everything about you before your first date. It will remove the mystery and give them more opportunity to pass on you.

Most of all, don't take things too personally. If you're in a bad location, move. If you don't want to move to improve your social life then your options will be limited in this scope.



There a lot of good stuff in here... some I agree with some I don't but I'll provide my 2 cents on these dating sites. Dating sites are skewed towards women. Meaning that it is easier for women to get a date on these sites than men. I don't think anyone disagrees with that. However something guys seem to forget that their experiences on the site is not the same as women. So we have to adjust our expectation as such.

When I was on OkCupid I got maybe 1 message a week... and maybe 2 views a week. Women gets a lot more. Some say 20.. or even 50 a week. We all know this happens.. however what people fail to grasp is that because it's different, our experiences and our habits in how we use these sites will differ as well. Sure it may be easy for us to reply to every single message because to us, it's a few minutes out of our day. For women, it's completely different. It's like getting 50 spam messages with maybe a few gems out of the lot. Plus the type of messages differ. I've seen some of the messages my wife got when she used OkCupid and some of the guy's messages are downright nasty. And they don't just send one. Try 5. Then there's the rejection ones. She made the mistake of responding to one of them just to be nice but when she wasn't interested it was, "whore, you're too good for me now huh?" plus a few more after that. It was much easier for her to just not reply.

The point I'm making is that there are different sides to this. Yes women get more messages than men. But they're not exactly great messages. But because they get so many, they're not going to be the one to search out and message you. We as guys need to have a more realistic expectation.

Also if you do happen to get a reply? Assume that time is ticking and don't take your time setting up a date. Also don't spend weeks txting her. Don't be desperate, but assume that the girl is talking to other guys as well.

Finally online dating should be used as a supplement. It is just a avenue to meet women. So is going to a bar, but no one is at a bar 24/7 hoping to meet that perfect girl. In the same vein, you shouldn't rely on online dating as your only source to meet women. You'll go crazy. Find some way of making it work for you. stn only messages women who messages him. I never had enough messages to do that, so I only messaged women who viewed my profile.

Online dating is not for everyone but it does work. I'm proof of that. There are others in this thread that has had success on OkCupid as well. In my circle of friends, I know of 2 success stories. Heck one of them is a short asian guy who married a white woman. You just have to keep your head up and try and be positive.

I agree with pretty much everything here, I think with guys like Wreckage they come to threads like this and guys like Liu Kang belittle their efforts with tough shit asshole. When non-wankers would say look this is why it is, this is why it is, this is what you can do to increase your success and don't let it get you down.

 

[Leeness]

I am madly in love with you, if that counts for anything. Everything I have read from you have made me think that you are genuinely awesome and adorable!


Wait a second... you know her profile in there?!

Give it to me, give it to me!

Spoiler

For real, Lee, Tetsuo, you can PM it to me. Please.

It so counts

I don't know how to link it but my POF is pumpkincupcakes. Haha.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

You sir are completely full of shit. You can be die hard feminist and still admit that girls have it easier on dating sites. This isn't subjective opinion it's objective fact.

??? When did I doubt that?

Women are more picky on dating sites most likely cos they have more options.

I know. I have said this about a dozen times in this thread to people who didn't understand why women don't write back.

 

[Ovid]

Quite a number of women rated me highly since putting setting up a profile a few days ago. I remember last year there was a promo for a free month of A-list.

Does anyone know if this is still available? I really don't want to shell out $20 to see who these women are.

 

[~Kinggi~]

My deleted profile is doing just as good as it was a month ago, go me! In fact the only reminder of this horseshit is this thread. Also, stn's post is funny.

 

[stn]

Funny? I'm curious why. Explain?

EDIT: As a general note, I was dead serious about posting a shirtless pic on a dating site. People say the opposite of what they really want. And even if a girl might think such a pic is douchey and immature, if she's attracted she'll still get aroused. I don't believe sexual attention is ever bad if you can pull it off.

 

[Ovid]

Will using Quickmatch have me show up as a visitor on someone's account?

 

[Maddocks]

Will using Quickmatch have me show up as a visitor on someone's account?

Yes.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I was accepted into Graduate school the other day. While I'm still overweight (5'11, ~210 pounds), live with my folks (24-years-old) and only have a part time job with no work in the summer, I'm considering reactivating my profile again. I think I appear less of a loser now.

Thoughts?

 

[Visceir]

Awesome photos play a big part. If you don't smile and look easily approachable, people won't be thinking that positive about you. Same goes with real life - a big smile and awesome attitude goes a long way. I am always an advocate for positive attitude.

Haha, I don't think I actually smile in any of my pictures. Wasn't there even an okc study long-long ago that described what kind of profile pictures are most successful? I don't really think that kind of stuff really matters, the pictures just need to be good. I wouldn't stress over having a "smile" picture.

I posted the youtube link half jokingly, but obviously he proves in the video that the pictures he takes do turn out quite well.

 

[Madrin]

Finally got a date from this site. We're meeting up for coffee this Saturday. It's nice to see some progress after having multiple girls respond to my initial messages and then mysteriously stop replying. For me that's more frustrating than having girls not respond at all.

 

[BoboBrazil]

Not bad, after a couple of weeks 54 people have rated me highly

 

[-tetsuo-]

Not bad, after a couple of weeks 54 people have rated me highly

Damn son. Couple months for me and I have 21 high ratings. Half of them from GAF D:

 

[Charlie McCarthy]

I agree with you 100%. But when I said similar things I was accused of being misanthropic and lacking charm. If you're a man the looks quote is particularly apt. In real life, confidence can carry you half way, but not all the way. In online dating, confidence may not carry you at all.

The only thing I really disagree with you about is the shirtless pic comment you made. A lot of women absolutely hate that and even detail that in their profiles. It's one thing to be confident but the whole shirtless pic thing often ventures into self absorption and douchey behavior.

I thought the same thing about shirtless pics until I done it myself. Whats funny is even a few of the girls that messaged me stated in their profiles "Don't message me with shirtless pics". I'm with stn on this one, whats written in a profile shouldn't be taken seriously at all. My profile was basically a couple of pics of me and the main pic was a shirtless one. I previously had my life story written out with little success. When I "revamped" it with new pics and barely any text, that's when girls started messaging me. Online dating is extremely superficial, pictures are pretty much everything. Now this doesn't mean you have to be muscle bound to get women, but taking pics with good lighting and flattering angles will help, rather than the fuzzy webcam pics you often see. I knew a lot of girls may think its "douchey" but really, who cares? Im proud of my body and at least it shows women you have a passion, even if that passion is yourself lol. Think about it the other way around, do you think girls are "douchey" if they have a pic of them in a bikini? You have to play to your strengths because as others have said its extremely hard to get your personality across online because so much of what happens in face to face communication is lost.

Granted, if you are using these sites to find something long term, this may not be the way to go but again I am with stn in that these should be used as a substitute to meeting girls in the real world. It lead me to get back into the dating scene, made a couple of friends and pretty much got my social life back after being in a long term relationship.

 

[Bleepey]

Funny? I'm curious why. Explain?

EDIT: As a general note, I was dead serious about posting a shirtless pic on a dating site. People say the opposite of what they really want. And even if a girl might think such a pic is douchey and immature, if she's attracted she'll still get aroused. I don't believe sexual attention is ever bad if you can pull it off.

This. I tell my friends try to do it on the beach on holiday with friends so it doesn't seem. Like you're posing an get the best of both worlds. I do find women illogical on dating sites to some extent, I have had a one night stand with a girl who said that if I out seeking casual sex on my dating profile she would not have replied and you hear men claim all over that topless photos increase your response rate exponentially. So you can go from 1 message every 2-3 months to 4 messages a week.

 

[Jzero]

Not bad, after a couple of weeks 54 people have rated me highly

Something must be wrong. I had like 24 last week and today i have 48.

 

[TurtleSnatcher]

Trying out making my mails shorter. It is really odd as it feels like I am not putting any effort into it. But worth a shot.

Catching up on this thread and read some of your messages.

I think most people got the jist of it but wanted to reiterate or state a few points.

Your messages are very long. It feels like you are asking and flooding them with at on of questions. Take it a bit slower. Like someone suggested, offer up a question that is directed at something specific on their profile but nothing more. You are asking numerous questions and stating many things while also attempting to ask them out for a face to face.

None of my dates from OKC have been that quick. In fact, some take at least a couple days of 1-2 messages a day to finally create a face to face. Most people won't want to rush into meeting someone from an online dating site. You may live in a city that has a good bar scene or plenty of places to meet up but that doesn't change much as that can be said about any place and actually helps the argument of 'Then why are these people using OKC including you..?"

If all else fails, I'd highly recommend A-List. I know some people fear paying but it allows you to see those who rated you highly and you can actually reach out to the ones that did find you good for them. If you do decide to do this... I would highly recommend not hitting up with someone that JUST rated you highly as that may feel stalkerish or creepy.

Hope you get some luck and find someone.

On a separate note...

I just had my second date with someone and it seems to be going pretty good. My past dates I've had on OKC have been okay but I wasn't too pleased with the career situations with the past few so we kind of just dwindled off and I stopped contacting them. This one though has been going well and we have tons in common.

I'm generally in favor of the rule of not actually messaging anyone and letting them message me. I'm not big on sending 10-20 messages a day. I'm not super desperate for a date or anything but wouldn't mind having someone available to do stuff with. I seem to get 2-3 messages a week from girls so the steady flow seems to be okay. I haven't really been looking as of late since I've been seeing this girl now for the past week but yeah... never been a big fan of blanketing everyone with messages when I know it will eventually come back to me.

 

[Ovid]

I was accepted into Graduate school the other day. While I'm still overweight (5'11, ~210 pounds), live with my folks (24-years-old) and only have a part time job with no work in the summer, I'm considering reactivating my profile again. I think I appear less of a loser now.

Thoughts?

Go for it!!!

 

[Commander Jameson]

Something must be wrong. I had like 24 last week and today i have 48.

I've only had 10 ratings in three months, including one gay guy, oddly. I've sent messages to mutual matches but rarely get a profile view back, let alone a response. I'm guess these are the fake users (pseudos).

It's dried up completely for me. Gone from 140 visitors per week to around 40 now. No new contacts in a few weeks. I think I'll try something else rather than online dating as it has not really worked out for me. All the dates (with five women) have ended up platonically too, including one that was setting up other dates whilst on our date, which she then complained about to me at a later meeting.

I did get some feedback on my opening messages though (too formal, not jokey enough and, frankly, not interesting, despite asking questions about their profile), so I'm working on that. I'm quite jaded by the whole experience now, to be honest.

 

[ThisWreckage]

Is it fair to say that online dating has peaked? I'm starting to hear more and more people saying that they're abandoning it. In a lot of ways, it's even more superficial than regular dating. I think a lot of people on these sites are beyond full of shit, male or female. You'll learn very quickly in life that no values intellect even if they claim that's what they're looking for. When a person says, "I like people that are smart and can hold a conversation," they really mean, "I like people that are slightly less intelligent than me," instead. That's just one example.

I'm still not sold on the shirtless discussion going on right now. I really do think that a lot of women hate ostentatious, smug men. Arrogance has always been a huge turn off for me too. I would agree that a lot of people are hypocrites, however, and like the very things they deride in their profiles. So it can go either way, really.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Go for it!!!

I'm happy somebody responded.

 

[Charlie McCarthy]

Is it fair to say that online dating has peaked? I'm starting to hear more and more people saying that they're abandoning it. In a lot of ways, it's even more superficial than regular dating. I think a lot of people on these sites are beyond full of shit, male or female. You'll learn very quickly in life that no values intellect even if they claim that's what they're looking for. When a person says, "I like people that are smart and can hold a conversation," they really mean, "I like people that are slightly less intelligent than me," instead. That's just one example.

I'm still not sold on the shirtless discussion going on right now. I really do think that a lot of women hate ostentatious, smug men. Arrogance has always been a huge turn off for me too. I would agree that a lot of people are hypocrites, however, and like the very things they deride in their profiles. So it can go either way, really.

That's cool, I wasn't trying to convince you, just telling you my experience and how it was for me. What you see as arrogance, others may see as confidence, it just comes down to point of view and everyone sees and interprets things differently. When they meet me in real life they can definitely see I am not smug or arrogant but like I said its just playing to your strengths in an environment where its difficult to give the whole picture of who you really are.

Don't get me wrong though, I agree some women find that sort of thing a turn off but you really can never please everyone and shouldn't try to.

 

[Confused101]

I don't know how to link it but my POF is pumpkincupcakes. Haha.

You said earlier that you're only getting a couple messages per week. After looking at your profile, I find that incredibly hard to believe. I'm not just saying that to be nice. You're genuinely cute.

Anyway, after looking at how many rated me highly on OKC, it seems I'm up to 33. That seems like way more than I had. I'm sure the great majority of those are from GAF though, haha. Thanks guys!

 

[-tetsuo-]

I was accepted into Graduate school the other day. While I'm still overweight (5'11, ~210 pounds), live with my folks (24-years-old) and only have a part time job with no work in the summer, I'm considering reactivating my profile again. I think I appear less of a loser now.

Thoughts?

Get in there, son.

 

[Symphonia]

OK, so I need some advice and, before any asks, I'm not looking for a quick pick me up. I am, by no means, ugly but I'm certainly not the most attractive guy on OKCupid. If you see my face among the crowd of other guys, I can 99% guarantee that you will just skip right past me. So, really, having an interesting profile is somewhat important for me. I've had a few messages here and then but women just seem to kind of lose interest in me after a week or so - something I honestly should be used to after having it happen in real-life so often. This is one reason I turned to OKCupid, as I was clearly having little luck outside the internet.

Anyway, I was kind of hoping you'd be able to help me write a better profile than what I have now. Please be as blunt as necessary and give me as much feedback as you possibly can, cheers.

I have NO idea what to write here, but I'll give it a go.

I'm pretty much your average guy - but just that little bit better. I enjoy doing all the typical 'lad' stuff - footy, drinking, etc - but I've been known to be a reet soppy git when the time calls for it. I spend the majority of my time working or playing with my daughter. The other time is spent sleeping or kicking back. Wanna know what I'm into? Scroll down.

I won't lie, I joined up here with a pretty much 'anything goes' approach. If I get talking to someone and it starts going somewhere, great. If that somewhere is a relationship, awesome. If its just sex, I won't say no. I'll just take it as comes. I won't go on for too much longer. Basically, if you want to know more, drop me a line and I'll try and reply as soon as I can.

I'm currently working as a debt collector/negotiator. It's not the worlds most amazing job but it brings in the dollar and, lets face it, thats all that matters.

Apart from that, I'm not really doing anything with my life. I sleep, I wake up, I work, I finish, I get home, I do whatever, I sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat. To be honest, it's become a bit of a drag - I need some excitement in my life, haha.

Making people laugh, whether it be intentional or not. I'm a bit of an idiot, truth be told, and people just seem to have a good time around me because of that. That said, I'm also really good at 'being there' - yes, yes, as cliche as this sounds, I'm always the one to be there for people when they need someone. N'aw.

I wish I could go ahead and say my ravishing good looks but, alas, its not that. The first things people notice are my oddball sense of humour and my sarcastic attitude towards, well, everything.

I will literally read anything. I might not enjoy it and may give up after a page or two but I will give everything a go. I'm currently reading Game of Thrones by George R R Martin. Yeeeah, I could go ahead and just watch the TV series (which I do, haha) but reading it is far more immersing. I've also read, and enjoyed, Fight Club by Chuck Palahnuik and 1984 by George Orwell. I guess I could say reading has got me through some tough times.

I'll watch anything movie-wise - even chick flicks, providing I've had enough alcohol to numb the senses. That, or I have the right company, haha. Favourite films include Life Of Pi, Fight Club, Sunshine, 28 Days Later, Iron Man, Terminator 2, Cabin In The Woods and the Paranormal Activity series.

Food? Well, I'm a guy. As long as its edible, anything goes!

My daughter, for obvious reasons.

As stupid as it sounds, my iPhone is one thing I could never do without - its got all my photos, videos, music, contacts, etc on there. Its literally become a part of my life.Other than that, there's nothing I couldn't really never do without.

Not a lot, to be honest, usually my plans for the next day or two.

Depending on the amount of dollar and my mood, I'm either just chilling at home in front of the TV with a few cheeky drinks or out with my mates.

If I admitted it, it wouldn't be private, would it? Get to know me, though, and I may divulge...

So yeah, tear me a new one.

 

[Leeness]

You said earlier that you're only getting a couple messages per week. After looking at your profile, I find that incredibly hard to believe. I'm not just saying that to be nice. You're genuinely cute.

Some weeks are better than others, but I definitely don't have people ~blowing up~ my inbox. I just have to work a little harder at it, that's all.

Frankly though, if I found a boyfriend, I might be too weirded out to do anything other than be a friend haha. So...a boy friend. Haha.

 

[stn]

@Cyanide Strike

I'm pretty much your average guy - but just that little bit better. I enjoy doing all the typical 'lad' stuff - footy, drinking, etc - but I've been known to be a reet soppy git when the time calls for it. I spend the majority of my time working or playing with my daughter. The other time is spent sleeping or kicking back. Wanna know what I'm into? Scroll down.

Take out the whole part about being average. Women don't want average. You want to emphasize that you're a kick-ass guy, even if you don't believe it.

I won't lie, I joined up here with a pretty much 'anything goes' approach. If I get talking to someone and it starts going somewhere, great. If that somewhere is a relationship, awesome. If its just sex, I won't say no. I'll just take it as comes. I won't go on for too much longer. Basically, if you want to know more, drop me a line and I'll try and reply as soon as I can.

The "anything goes" approach is fine but re-write it to sound more positive and up-lifting. Casual is good and tells women you're not a commitment. But make it more cheery. For example: "I am open to trying all kinds of things and seeing where it goes. I'm looking for someone who I can inspire with my cheerful attitude."

Originally Posted by What I'm Doing With My Life

I'm currently working as a debt collector/negotiator. It's not the worlds most amazing job but it brings in the dollar and, lets face it, thats all that matters.

Apart from that, I'm not really doing anything with my life. I sleep, I wake up, I work, I finish, I get home, I do whatever, I sleep. Wash, rinse, repeat. To be honest, it's become a bit of a drag - I need some excitement in my life, haha.

Delete all of this. You are basically saying you have no life and are boring. You are also saying you hope to find excitement on OKC, when in reality the woman will want YOU to bring it from the get-go.

Originally Posted by I'm Really Good At...

Making people laugh, whether it be intentional or not. I'm a bit of an idiot, truth be told, and people just seem to have a good time around me because of that. That said, I'm also really good at 'being there' - yes, yes, as cliche as this sounds, I'm always the one to be there for people when they need someone. N'aw.

I have nothing to comment on this. Maybe someone else can help?

Originally Posted by The First Thing People Notice About Me

I wish I could go ahead and say my ravishing good looks but, alas, its not that. The first things people notice are my oddball sense of humour and my sarcastic attitude towards, well, everything.

This post reeks of zero confidence. Delete the part about looks. Don't diminish yourself, let the world know how much of a fucking awesome and attractive person you are.

Originally Posted by I Spend A Lot Of Time Thinking About

Not a lot, to be honest, usually my plans for the next day or two.

Delete this. Saying "not a lot" makes it sound like you have nothing exciting to think about. Just make something up if you have to.

Originally Posted by On A Typical Friday Night I Am...

Depending on the amount of dollar and my mood, I'm either just chilling at home in front of the TV with a few cheeky drinks or out with my mates.

Delete the part about money and sitting at home. Leave the mates part in but expand on it.

The other parts I left out because I didn't have anything to add. Hope this helps.

 

[Van Owen]

I just got a message from a girl I was talking regularly with that suddenly stopped responding asking where I've been. I guess you shouldn't be afraid to send two consecutive messages...

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Cyanide, it's really boring! You're too "hey guys I'm all casual and let's chat and this is what I'm into and let's hang out." Just cut all of that sort of thing out and post only funny one-liners. Seriously. Life stories are for messages and meetups.

You also fall into the usual trap of saying "I'm really good at... making people laugh" and then your profile contains zero things to actually make me laugh.

Just as a really dumb example, I posted something like "why do hot dogs come in packs of 6 when they know I'm going to eat 8 at once" in my "most private thing," and people latched onto that hard when they messaged me. It's a terrible joke, but it got sincere laughs because people weren't expecting it, and it was a conversation starter.

 

[Future Foundation]

So, after some advice, I made some changes to my profile, because it felt too stiff and long-winded. It's still a work in progress, but I'd like to get some more feedback on the new look.

 

[Sadetar]

So, after some advice, I made some changes to my profile, because it felt too stiff and long-winded. It's still a work in progress, but I'd like to get some more feedback on the new look.

You might want to change the privacy settings so it would be open to people outside of OKC.

 

[Symphonia]

OK, fuck it, here's the link to my OKCupid profile. I've updated it a little and I'm currently working on finding a more flattering photo. For the time being, though, what do you think about the updated bits? Anything else I should change?

 

[Sadetar]

Haha, I don't think I actually smile in any of my pictures. Wasn't there even an okc study long-long ago that described what kind of profile pictures are most successful? I don't really think that kind of stuff really matters, the pictures just need to be good. I wouldn't stress over having a "smile" picture.

I posted the youtube link half jokingly, but obviously he proves in the video that the pictures he takes do turn out quite well.

Seriously, if you are good enough looking you can go with basicly anything and you will anyways look smoking hot. Just make sure it isn't a trashy self taken mirror shot with dirty reflection.

It so counts

I don't know how to link it but my POF is pumpkincupcakes. Haha.

You are so sweet!

Hmm.. I seem unable to find it. Can't you just copy me the direct link or is it that kind of a site? Or if someone else knows her profile, can you please send it to me (PM will do)? You would gain my eternal gratitude.

OK, fuck it, here's the link to my OKCupid profile. I've updated it a little and I'm currently working on finding a more flattering photo. For the time being, though, what do you think about the updated bits? Anything else I should change?

...I perhaps should be in bed.

I was going through your Details and read that your job is "Banging / Financial / Real Estate " and for a sec (or ok, numerous seconds) I was thinking that you are running and building brothels or in some other weard way involved in sex business.

 

[Future Foundation]

You might want to change the privacy settings so it would be open to people outside of OKC.

I'd forgotten about that, but it's done.

 

[Symphonia]

...I perhaps should be in bed.

I was going through your Details and read that your job is "Banging / Financial / Real Estate " and for a sec (or ok, numerous seconds) I was thinking that you are running and building brothels or in some other weard way involved in sex business.

That would make for a more interesting job, that's for sure. Other than looking like I work in the sex trade, how is my profile?

 

[Sadetar]

I'd forgotten about that, but it's done.

I am unable to read anything properly at the moment (sleep deprived), but you need to post a full body shot.

OK, fuck it, here's the link to my OKCupid profile. I've updated it a little and I'm currently working on finding a more flattering photo. For the time being, though, what do you think about the updated bits? Anything else I should change?

"If its just sex, I won't say no." It's or it is. You might be a god's gift to humankind, but lets get the grammar right.

Spoiler

I thought you were totally cool, now I am not sure anymore...

Edit, oh and I read it. It is quite alright, even if I think you might be trying a bit too much. I perhaps need to take a look when I am not thinking about sex business and bed.
Edit2, bed as in going to sleep. Sex trade and bed were totally seperate things. Right. Right?

 

[Symphonia]

I am unable to read anything properly at the moment (sleep deprived), but you need to post a full body shot.

That's where I lose my confidence. Urgh.

"If its just sex, I won't say no." It's or it is. You might be a god's gift to humankind, but lets get the grammar right.

Spoiler

I thought you were totally cool, now I am not sure anymore...

Alright, alright, we can't all be perfect like you.

Spoiler

Well, I can, because I'm totally fucking awesome.

Edit, oh and I read it. It is quite alright, even if I think you might be trying a bit too much. I perhaps need to take a look when I am not thinking about sex business and bed.

Edit2, bed as in going to sleep. Sex trade and bed were totally seperate things. Right. Right?

Much appreciated, honestly.

 

[False Witness]

Just cut all of that sort of thing out and post only funny one-liners. Seriously. Life stories are for messages and meetups.

I don't know. Having a very short profile is essentially the same thing as sending out 'Hi ' messages in my eyes. It kind of ruins the aspects of online dating that I find particularly interesting. I also hate the whole 'Ask her out to do something within 5 messages back and forth' mentality as well. I mean, if you're just looking to go out immediately, why bother with the middle man aspect of online dating in the first place? Just go out.

I just really like to get to know someone through text first, I guess. Massive profiles, 10,000 word conversations back and forth for a few days/weeks in a row, and long texting cycles. However, that stuff kind of gets ruined when people get used to that whole initial message to meetup process being shortened tremendously. People also get so used to that whole single sentence message thing that they get wary of more thought out messages. I think a lot of guys end up doing things that eventually make online dating so shitty in the first place for men. It's like a cycle of jadedness that never ends.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

It's not that people are used to it. It's just that that's how it is. I remember liking long ass message chains back when I was a teenager, but I really don't have that sort of concentration ability for my computer or phone anymore, and I'd rather just get drinks and meet the person after establishing a connection than waste either of our time more.

I think there are people who are really looking for "the one" and are willing to really feel someone out with messages and reading into deep profiles and knowing for sure that some serious bond is formed, and then there are people like me who just want to get to the date and check the chemistry in person to know. I'm more attracted to a woman that can throw some witty banter at me a few times and then keep it going in person than someone who's going to bore me about herself before we've even established anything.

 

[Sadetar]

Alright, alright, we can't all be perfect like you.

Spoiler

Well, I can, because I'm totally fucking awesome.

I think that modesty is one of our best features.

That's where I lose my confidence. Urgh.

Much appreciated, honestly.

You are cute, no joke... and is that a condom machine in the background? Fits in quite nicely with our brothel theme.

Oh, and seriously, I hope this is a joke. Lol. It was a similar user to you and looked so pathetic I could not be without clicking it. That is a joke, right? Nobody can be that bad.

I try to remember to be awesome enough to check your profile when it isn't 2.20 am. What the fuck I am still doing up by the way? Couple hours and I need to crawl to work.

 

[Symphonia]

I think that modesty is one of our best features.

I'm too modest for my own good.

You are cute, no joke... and is that a condom machine in the background? Fits in quite nicely with our brothel theme.

Pfft, please, I'm far from cute. And, yes, that is a condom machine in the background, haha. It's not the best photo by far, but it's one of the better ones of me, even if there is a rubber johnny machine in the background.

Oh, and seriously, I hope this is a joke. Lol. It was a similar user to you and looked so pathetic I could not be without clicking it. That is a joke, right? Nobody can be that bad.

Unfortunately not. You do get people like that around here - he even lives in the town down the road from me, apparently, which is bad as I clicked the link and he's now seen that I've checked him out and, in return, he checked me out. Great. Well, if all else fails, I can rely on TomWorcester for a date.

I try to remember to be awesome enough to check your profile when it isn't 2.20 am. What the fuck I am still doing up by the way? Couple hours and I need to crawl to work.

Go to bed, Sadetar, you're drunk.

Or just tired.

 

[A Human Becoming]

lol I'd forgotten how often women don't respond to messages on OkCupid. First two I sent were read and not responded to.

 

[Jimothy]

lol I'd forgotten how often women don't respond to messages on OkCupid. First two I sent were read and not responded to.

Get rid of A list. Knowing they read your message and still didn't respond is too brutal. I tried it for a month then unsubscribed.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Get rid of A list. Knowing they read your message and still didn't respond is too brutal. I tried it for a month then unsubscribed.

I have it for the rest of the year. It might be brutal, but it helps to better face the reality of being rejected. Better knowing for sure than just guessing.

 

[BoboBrazil]

Weird that they often don't respond to you guys. I get a lot of first responses from women when I send them messages. Conversation fizzles out after sometimes though, just because I don't send out messages much and when I do I have a hard time juggling multiple conversations with women as I get older.

 

[Symphonia]

Already had about eleven visitors tonight since updating my profile, and I have two new messages from girls I haven't spoke to before. When they told me to believe in GAF, I should've listened.

 

[Leeness]

You are so sweet!

Hmm.. I seem unable to find it. Can't you just copy me the direct link or is it that kind of a site? Or if someone else knows her profile, can you please send it to me (PM will do)? You would gain my eternal gratitude.

Does this work?

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=51522239

 

[Symphonia]

Does this work?

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=51522239

Just putting this out there; you should have no problem meeting someone.