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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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V

Van Owen

Banned
I feel like this girl that kept saying she wanted to meet me is now blowing me off, since every time I bring up a night to go out she has an excuse...
 
stn

stn

Member
There's an easy test you can apply. What happens if you cease communication? Does she take initiative and suggest a date or does she disappear? Unless your post was being sarcastic, I can't tell since its over text.
 
V

Van Owen

Banned
I just said "ok" to her since she said she had plans and she responded back about something else we talked about before.

But yeah, I'm not suggesting anymore nights and will just leave it up to her.
 
J

Jimothy

Member
Ethics Gradient said:
Is it me, or is OkC LA a really tough crowd? Having come back to OkCupid from a long hiatus, I would say my reply rate is around 1-5%.
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LA is apparently the worst city for dating if you're a guy. There's way more single men than there are single women. NYC is probably the best city to live in if you're a single guy, which is probably why I've been having a lot of luck on the site. I don't remember the exact numbers but there are more single women than there are men.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Jimothy said:
LA is apparently the worst city for dating if you're a guy. There's way more single men than there are single women. NYC is probably the best city to live in if you're a single guy, which is probably why I've been having a lot of luck on the site. I don't remember the exact numbers but there are more single women than there are men.
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I don't think I'll agree with you there. As a person who lives in NYC myself, it's been tough for me. I think I have a harder time getting dates/replies on the website because I'm Hispanic and I'm a fairly good looking guy. Lately I haven't gotten any page views and/or messages (save for one from a chick I had no interest in). I haven't messaged any women in about 2 weeks; exchanges have all but fizzled. Of course in the end of the day, it comes down to personal preference so that's nothing that can be changed. I simply shrug it offand say that I tried.
 
A

A Human Becoming

More than a Member
Well OkGAF, after having a 20% reply rate since returning to the site with the only one ending after two responses, I'm going back to waiting until I have a real job and lose 30 pounds. The former won't happen until I get my Masters, which will be in a couple year, so my account with be deactivated in the meantime. I thought entering Graduate School would give me a bump in interest, but that clearly has not been the case.

Hopefully I won't see any of you here when/if I return because ya'll be in perfect relationships.
3AQmK.gif
 
L

Leeness

Member
Ethics Gradient said:
What a shame. Such an attractive profile but you obviously have some hangups. You're not even mentally open to moving forward in that area. You may want to warn potential suitors. ;)
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Haha yep, too many hang ups over sex. It's too weird.

If I went out with someone more than once or twice, I would warn them. I try to "seem normal" at first though. :p The most successful I've ever been in life is three dates, so it just hasn't come up yet lol.
 
L

Leeness

Member
speaking of animals i just took another gander at your.. ahem, pleasantly appealing figure. i suddenly had a slight urge to pet something. err i guess it must have been to pet you... ohh god, why do i even say these things... what are you a yoga master or something haha
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Welp...that just got awkward. -delete-
 
-tetsuo-

-tetsuo-

Unlimited Capacity
That is pretty funny, though. I never really say anything about pictures in my messages. Wait, maybe that is why I get like a 5% reply rate. Hmmm brb going find some boob profile pics and comment on them.
 
O

Ovid

Member
Jipan said:
I don't think I'll agree with you there. As a person who lives in NYC myself, it's been tough for me. I think I have a harder time getting dates/replies on the website because I'm Hispanic and I'm a fairly good looking guy. Lately I haven't gotten any page views and/or messages (save for one from a chick I had no interest in). I haven't messaged any women in about 2 weeks; exchanges have all but fizzled. Of course in the end of the day, it comes down to personal preference so that's nothing that can be changed. I simply shrug it offand say that I tried.
Click to expand...
I agree with you.

Question - Are you going to give up on the site?
 
R

RC Cola

Member
That weird moment when you are checking out a profile, and realize it seems like the same lady who tried to sell you something at your door a week or so ago, and just wouldn't take no for an answer (also asking about where you're from, what kind of dog you have, sticks around long enough to come inside the house, etc.).

All a coincidence (she was just really trying to sell something), but thought it was kind of funny in hindsight.




Gym advice is good. I was able to prolong a conversation with one person by mentioning that I had just joined a gym in the area (she was wanting to do the same, and didn't know which gym to join). Been in a bit of a lull lately though (everyone I was talking to seems really busy now...and so am I), but maybe the weekend will free up some time. Trying to push for communication outside of OKC at this point.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
tarius1210 said:
I agree with you.

Question - Are you going to give up on the site?
Click to expand...
Not really. I've kind of thrown in the towel in that I stopped messaging girls. It's mainly due to the fact I'm too lazy to message girls from the app since my home internet is down and I'm curious to see if any message me at all. It's also because I'll be checking it less often once the new semester starts in a few weeks. Of course, there are plenty of places to meet women in our fine city i.e. drawing nights, volunteering, etc

I'm thinking about trying OriginofHisteria's method by taking down all of my pictures, reducing my profile's content to a bare minimum, and sending random messages (Splosion Man's Donuts song comes to mind) to see what happens. The fun part about online is that there's a lot of room for experimentation.
 
J

Jhoan

Member
That reply was definitely creepy. It was going fine until he shot himself in the foot by saying that stuff. Any woman would automatically delete such a reply. I wish someone did a hilarious dramatic reading of that reply. The dude sounds like a creepy geek.
 
E

Ethics Gradient

Member
Jipan said:
That reply was definitely creepy. It was going fine until he shot himself in the foot by saying that stuff. Any woman would automatically delete such a reply. I wish someone did a hilarious dramatic reading of that reply. The dude sounds like a creepy geek.
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A creepy geek? Off with his head!!!
 
U

Unicorn

Member
I hate reclicking a profile to see the last time they were on because they unexpectedly stopped messaging back. Makes me look like a creeper plus I get extra sad when it's "online now"
 
Y

y2dvd

Member
Ethics Gradient said:
Yeah, the whole petting thing is a bit weird. Why not call him out for it rather than throw away a day's worth of conversation? The rest of the messages must have been normal enough for her to get to that point.
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Not sure if serious. Extreme example, I'm sure you can have a regular conversation with a serial killer before getting to know him, but the moment he starts talking morbidly and wanting to kill things, dude is a certified creeper.
 
E

Ethics Gradient

Member
y2dvd said:
Not sure if serious. Extreme example, I'm sure you can have a regular conversation with a serial killer before getting to know him, but the moment he starts talking morbidly and wanting to kill things, dude is a certified creeper.
Click to expand...

Someone should send him a certificate to put on the wall. "Certified Geeky Creeper" by GAF.
 
R

RayStorm

Member
I kind of sympathize, it's quite easy to cross the line of creepiness while chatting for a bit. Especially if you are in your younger years.

Perhaps creepy messages and how to avoid (sending) them might be something to put into writing (for the next Okcupid OT).
 
U

Unicorn

Member
Bleepey said:
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/08/power-in-dating/

What does GAF think? I think he's so wrong it ain't even funny.
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Stopped reading when he said women don't get a bed mate whenever they want. Absolutely an attractive woman can go into a bar and find someone to take her home. She just shouldn't do it and often times when they don't leave with someone it's because they obviously don't want to, not because there isn't anyone that wants to take them.
 
L

Liu Kang Baking A Pie

Member
Unicorn said:
Stopped reading when he said women don't get a bed mate whenever they want. Absolutely an attractive woman can go into a bar and find someone to take her home. She just shouldn't do it and often times when they don't leave with someone it's because they obviously don't want to, not because there isn't anyone that wants to take them.
Click to expand...
You should have read the rest that elaborates on this.
 
B

Bleepey

Member
Liu Kang Baking A Pie said:
You should have read the rest that elaborates on this.
Click to expand...

Reading it his points are still wrong.

To start with, there are plenty of women out there who aren’t rolling into a bar and rolling out with a bedmate. There are many women who struggle to find dates, whether it’s because they’re too tall, too big, too whatever.
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This is crap. Being afraid to ask does not mean you are incapable of getting a date. I refuse to believe a girl can't get sex from online dating. See this

http://www.elainehatfield.com/79.pdf

Beyond that, the ability to get a sexual partner within a pre-set amount of time or with whatever suitable definition of “ease” might be isn’t exclusive to women. Men have equal ability to find sexual partners as women do… it just involves being willing to lower your standards to being willing to sleep with anyone who offers or shows an interest. Women who aren’t conventionally attractive, whose body types differ from the culturally accepted ideal or otherwise don’t meet one’s personal levels of sexiness are out there, hoping to get laid just as much as everybody else.
Click to expand...

Hahaha no.

The same applies to women. A woman’s supposed ability to get laid easily or quickly doesn’t correspond with the desirability of the available sex partners. A woman could go into a bar and pick up a man for sex, yes, but it doesn’t mean that she’s going to necessarily find someone she’s attracted to.
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True. But guys are open to fucking a much lower than their standards than women. This is based on a cohort of men of various levels of attractiveness and game. I have asked my guy friends how many have fucked a girl they found ugly. 90% have admitted to doing so, when i asked girls i was friends with, that number was way lower and those that admitted to doing so qualified it by saying they had a great personality.

There are certain areas where it is in fact, a buyer’s market for women. In online dating, for example, the number of men on dating sites tends to easily outnumber the women. A woman will find frequently find her profile flooded with emails and winks.

Now ask her just how many of those come from people she’d want to talk to at all, never mind go on a date with.
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Then ask the women how many guys a day they found worth talking to. Still miles better than guys.

I have to agree with Norah Vincent on this one and say this guy is talking complete chatterbollox. I could go on and on but this is beyond sibjective fact, this guy is wrong and I don't wanna start combing through every sentence of what he says as to why he is wrong.

Also if it's so difficult for women to get laid why is prostituion pretty much only a woman's profession
 
L

Leeness

Member
I guess I was basically the guy in relationships then. I never held any power over men and I'm the one who had to beg for attention and then got turned down. :p

I'm much better and happier now, and I'm good on my own! If I never have a boyfriend in my life, I don't really care anymore. I'll be happy no matter what and I'm cool just being with me now. :)
 
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