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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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FalconSabre
Member
I had in the past said in this thread that I was planning on messaging some people on the site, but just never have ended up doing it as I was planning on waiting until I could find a job, which has still continued to elude me.
I have continued signed in weekly or so and browse the site a bit and look to see if I had any news visitors. I signed on earlier tonight and looked and then exited out. A few minutes later I got an email telling me that a girl on the site sent me a message. Obviously the first one I've had on there. We've been chatting for awhile and even took the conversation to a phone messenger rather than the site. Of course I still have no money whatsoever so it would be impossible to turn even try to turn it to anything offline right now.
We even had some good conversation about our personal job search woes, so hoping that she will actually want to keep up the conversations online for now since she seemed to be interested in that. Not having money to do anything really sucks, that's for sure.
Edit: And as I figured, the lack of meeting anytime soon pretty much turned it into nothing.
I have continued signed in weekly or so and browse the site a bit and look to see if I had any news visitors. I signed on earlier tonight and looked and then exited out. A few minutes later I got an email telling me that a girl on the site sent me a message. Obviously the first one I've had on there. We've been chatting for awhile and even took the conversation to a phone messenger rather than the site. Of course I still have no money whatsoever so it would be impossible to turn even try to turn it to anything offline right now.
We even had some good conversation about our personal job search woes, so hoping that she will actually want to keep up the conversations online for now since she seemed to be interested in that. Not having money to do anything really sucks, that's for sure.
Edit: And as I figured, the lack of meeting anytime soon pretty much turned it into nothing.
Isn't the point of meeting offline getting to know each other? I don't know why a lack of money should stand in the way of that. Presumably what you would do anyway was talking, which didn't cost anything last time I checked.
What do you mean with your edit?
PaleFolklore
Member
I'm meeting a girl for a first date at a street festival in Detroit tomorrow. I'm so nervous. I feel like I'm going to completely mess it up and I really dig this girl.
FalconSabre
Member
She asked if I would be up for meeting very soon. I really have been going through a lot of things lately to where it'd be about impossible to try something right now, so just said that it wouldn't be in the next couple weeks. Then she got weird about things. She had made a point to say earlier how she hates people that sleep around and likes to wait for someone right to do that. Then after saying I couldn't meet in the next couple weeks, she changed her tune saying that she was just looking for a one time hookup. Odd change of mind there within such a short period of time. I guess she just tried to sound different at first before letting it known what she really wanted.
So I got a message from OkCupid today stating that I am now a mod for OkCupid and so I get to deal with flagged pictures and such, (a girl took pictures of her artwork, and someone went through and flagged every piece of art in her profile, reason why was "art" )
In other news, I have a POF account, I've had more luck recently with girls on there, I have had a few interesting conversations. OkCupid has gone dry for me it's fallen to 1-2 views a week. I'm getting a surprisingly high amount of girls with kids. So that's reassuring.
Honestly I'm gonna keep both open and just keep checking, I mean you never know what could come along.
I will say one thing, after my 3-months is up I'm canceling Match. It's pretty much terrible on everything.
In other news, I have a POF account, I've had more luck recently with girls on there, I have had a few interesting conversations. OkCupid has gone dry for me it's fallen to 1-2 views a week. I'm getting a surprisingly high amount of girls with kids. So that's reassuring.
Honestly I'm gonna keep both open and just keep checking, I mean you never know what could come along.
I will say one thing, after my 3-months is up I'm canceling Match. It's pretty much terrible on everything.
Jzero
Member
wtf i want to be a mod. I've reported probably 100 fake profiles in L.A. already.
As an OKC mod myself, it's not that big of a deal. I've mostly seen artwork, extreme close ups, pics of pets, fake pictures, and meme pictures. The strangest thing I've seen is close ups of a chubby chick's bondage marks including one a hand print that was branded onto her leg.
In other news, I stopped caring about OKC now that classes are back in session again. Ever since I took down all of my pics, I've gotten no views and stopped hitting girls about 3 weeks ago. If it's eye candy why girls were lurking on my profile, now they can read my profile instead. I might take the approach that a GAF member mentioned earlier about trimming down profile information and send out random messages. I'll keep playing around with my profile and maybe add 1 picture only eventually ala my brother's profile.
I too started up a POF account, along with accounts for a few others (I had Match.com a while back, and I agree, it sucks). I still gets tons of views with OKC (30-40 a week apparently, though must be mostly anonymously?), but not a lot of success with getting responses from the ladies I message. Not much better luck with POF or the others, but figured I'd expand my search some. I do enjoy the "Meet Me" features they have, though I guess I went a little overboard with that since I no longer have any candidates. 
I mentioned this in the Dating thread, but figured I'd post it here since it is kind of related (OKC wasn't involved in any way though):
Interesting little thing happened while I was browsing online dating profiles yesterday...
I'm at one girl's profile, and she doesn't really have a whole lot there (though to be fair, maybe more than a lot of girls who just say "I like fun things!"). She says something in her profile that she thinks it is best if you find out the rest about her for yourself. OK.
In two following sections of the profile, she basically ignores what the section is about and says to look up her name (in the first section), and lists a website in the other section (the name is somewhat obfuscated, but still fairly easy to make out).
Of course, I'm thinking this could just take me to some adult site where I'd have to pay more to "find out more" about this special lady, but she didn't really strike me as one of "those." Wasn't showing off a lot of skin or anything in her pictures, etc.
So I check out the site. It turns out to be her family's website (and yep, she has a section of her own, though mostly just pictures of her as a kid...yeah, now I feel creepy). The site itself is pretty outdated. Old school HTML design and everything. But her family is definitely pretty interesting, and seems to do a lot of cool things together. Oh, and her dad has a link to his Facebook page on this homepage, which of course also links to her Facebook page (both of which are pretty public with what they share on Facebook).
I don't know how much she intended for people to find out, but of course my interest in piqued. I send her a message on that site. I also recognized her on another dating site, so I checked out the profile there and sent something there too (it seemed she was using this one more recently than the other one). Of course, she hasn't been online for several months.
Almost tempted to Facebook her, but that would probably be too creepy (even with her and her family being super open).
I mentioned this in the Dating thread, but figured I'd post it here since it is kind of related (OKC wasn't involved in any way though):
Interesting little thing happened while I was browsing online dating profiles yesterday...
I'm at one girl's profile, and she doesn't really have a whole lot there (though to be fair, maybe more than a lot of girls who just say "I like fun things!"). She says something in her profile that she thinks it is best if you find out the rest about her for yourself. OK.
In two following sections of the profile, she basically ignores what the section is about and says to look up her name (in the first section), and lists a website in the other section (the name is somewhat obfuscated, but still fairly easy to make out).
Of course, I'm thinking this could just take me to some adult site where I'd have to pay more to "find out more" about this special lady, but she didn't really strike me as one of "those." Wasn't showing off a lot of skin or anything in her pictures, etc.
So I check out the site. It turns out to be her family's website (and yep, she has a section of her own, though mostly just pictures of her as a kid...yeah, now I feel creepy). The site itself is pretty outdated. Old school HTML design and everything. But her family is definitely pretty interesting, and seems to do a lot of cool things together. Oh, and her dad has a link to his Facebook page on this homepage, which of course also links to her Facebook page (both of which are pretty public with what they share on Facebook).
I don't know how much she intended for people to find out, but of course my interest in piqued. I send her a message on that site. I also recognized her on another dating site, so I checked out the profile there and sent something there too (it seemed she was using this one more recently than the other one). Of course, she hasn't been online for several months.
Almost tempted to Facebook her, but that would probably be too creepy (even with her and her family being super open).
Yeah, pretty dry here myself. Didn't work out with that one girl I mentioned before. She was dating around and finally found someone else which isn't a biggy. This just happened with another user though:
Me: Are you mixed with Asian at all? Btw, you sound like a great person.
(several days later)
Her: Sorry it took a while to respond I don't get on here much and no I'm not mixed though I get that a lot! Thank you Mr. Y2dvd lol [I wasn't really complimenting but I'll go with it lol!]
Me: De nada! So what is your nationality? I suppose I'll get the next response several days later lol!
(same day)
Her: Lmbo lol that's not funny lol I'm Hispanic all the way but am not a Spanish speaker lover I can speak it and all I just like to!!!! So here's my number so I can respond quicker winy baby lol you seem cool....XXX-XXX-XXXX [what a run on sentence that I can't really make sense of!]
That was probably the shortest amount of replies I had to do to get a number and I didn't even ask for it! She is completely gorgeous and lives in the same area so hopefully I can get something going. Honestly, she's probably is out of my league!
I should sign up for POF because I'm not finding much luck on OKC really.
Me: Are you mixed with Asian at all? Btw, you sound like a great person.
(several days later)
Her: Sorry it took a while to respond I don't get on here much and no I'm not mixed though I get that a lot! Thank you Mr. Y2dvd lol [I wasn't really complimenting but I'll go with it lol!]
Me: De nada! So what is your nationality? I suppose I'll get the next response several days later lol!
(same day)
Her: Lmbo lol that's not funny lol I'm Hispanic all the way but am not a Spanish speaker lover I can speak it and all I just like to!!!! So here's my number so I can respond quicker winy baby lol you seem cool....XXX-XXX-XXXX [what a run on sentence that I can't really make sense of!]
That was probably the shortest amount of replies I had to do to get a number and I didn't even ask for it! She is completely gorgeous and lives in the same area so hopefully I can get something going. Honestly, she's probably is out of my league!
I should sign up for POF because I'm not finding much luck on OKC really.
My roommate told me this story of how she went on a date with a guy whose catch line apparently was "I'm suicidal and you know what the only thing is that prevents me from killing myself? getting laid".
I don't know whether to laugh at or cry at some people.
I don't even know.
And like...so many terrible photos. I mean, I don't take great photos, but why do more than half the people I see, they look like they either want to cry or kill themselves in their photos.
Or they have the serial killer smiles.
I don't even.
jadedm17
Member
I'm good looking with an even better personality and I'd get ignored all the time too.
Think nothing of it, they're not worth your time - the ones that ignore you.
Hah, that makes me happy to see it goes both ways.
Some people take the "oh internet dating haha im not even trying" thing too far.
Worse yet are the ones that look miserable and headline their profile with a wall of text about how they can't find anyone.
I still don't know if the inability to understand why you're single for some people is more hilarious than sad or vice-versa.
I also like how no one really reads profiles. I put at the end "I don't date, I'm just looking for friends" and I still get a few messages that are all "what are you looking for? What do you want in a guy?"
Lol. I don't know. I think I'm better off sticking with all my female friends haha. I guess I don't need male friends.
Lol. I don't know. I think I'm better off sticking with all my female friends haha. I guess I don't need male friends.
I also like how no one really reads profiles. I put at the end "I don't date, I'm just looking for friends" and I still get a few messages that are all "what are you looking for? What do you want in a guy?"
Lol. I don't know. I think I'm better off sticking with all my female friends haha. I guess I don't need male friends.
Wait, what? I thought you were... looking for dating? Now I'm confused :lol
You won't find male friends on an online dating website. I'm pretty sure anyone could've told you that... even those that might THINK they're okay with just being friends, they're lying to themselves.
jadedm17
Member
As someone who's spent a great deal reading profiles then responding with a wide variety of messages ranging from short, fun and simple to wildly hilarious and personalized paragraphs to only be met with nonresponses many times over...
Yea, there's a reason guys don't read profiles, no one cares when we do.
Its an endless loop. Sadly.
Nah. I don't ever want a boyfriend or a date or anything. Just a good guy friend.
Good luck lol
And you're looking for that on OKC/POF? uuh... i got some bad news for you...
stn
Member
I've had some weirdness happen on OKC. I gave this girl my number after she insisted she just wanted casual coffee. I gave her the benefit of a doubt. Then she started texting me 2,000 times a day. Then she apparently showed my pics to all her friends. Then she started asking me really weird questions. Then she started giving me really strong compliments.
I stopped replying cold turkey. It was worth it, I probably saved myself.
I stopped replying cold turkey. It was worth it, I probably saved myself.
I'm not going to lie, a lot of the girls on OKC/POF give off that weird 'bunny boiler' vibe, but while I was messaging this girl through the site, she seemed perfectly sane. Like, we were having lengthy conversations and we really seemed to click. And then we kinda swapped digits because, well, we did. And then it just went downhill from there. She'd randomly text me in the middle of the night and would get pissy when I don't reply - my phone is on 'Do Not Disturb' come 11pm. And then she told me she'd fallen for me. I didn't know how to reply.
Jzero
Member
Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
and phone number, facebook, and the date went decent
Did you tell them you're a brony?
It's mentioned on my profile under "Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food".
I've actually been chatting with another girl who lives further away on pof for a while because of our shared interest in colourful equines.
You also eat your little ponies? You monster!
Cow Mengde
Banned
but you already have us
We're not good enough for her.
Waiting to add the inevitable *ijusthadsex.jpg!
I also like how no one really reads profiles. I put at the end "I don't date, I'm just looking for friends" and I still get a few messages that are all "what are you looking for? What do you want in a guy?"
Lol. I don't know. I think I'm better off sticking with all my female friends haha. I guess I don't need male friends.
I'm sure most guys on dating sites have the intentions of finding a potential partner first, then making friends second. I think you are using the wrong sites if you're just looking for a friend and shouldn't be surprised if guys are hollaring at you lol.
Of course you guys are
When are we having the OkCupid-Gaf party at your place?
forknknife
Banned
So I just had the best date ever
Been talking to a girl over WhatsApp recently. I initially asked her out on OkCupid... The conversation went like:
Me: Also, keep next Saturday free. I'll talk more tomorrow though as I'm seriously drained right now!
Her: Haha okay. Next Saturday night? During the day I'm fasting for the festival of yom kippur and repenting for my sins... [She's Jewish]
Me: Saturday night sounds good. Laters! [She responded quite quickly so I hadn't gone just yet].
Her: May be going to family for dinner though so I'll have to let you know. [I woke up to this message which put a bit of a bummer for the first part of my morning].
Me [much later in the day]: No problemo. Do you have a mobile number I can contact you on? Much easier than messaging on here.
Her: Do you have whatsapp? I can't afford to text much, don't get free texts. [This sounded like an excuse at first, but then it occurred to me WhatsApp pulls from your phone book].
Me: Yeah I have WhatsApp. What's your number?
Her: XXXXXXXXXXX
So yeah that ended our conversation on OkCupid and we've been chatting on WhatsApp since Saturday.
Even though the date is seemingly postponed for now, I assume she's still into me as we've been chatting most evenings and lunchtimes since adding each other. I even changed my OkCupid profile pic the other day and she sent an OkCupid message saying how sexy it looked. Then I start to wonder how sane she is because no-one has ever said that to me before. Fast-forward to tonight and I think I've discovered the real her. I mentioned she's Jewish... Well, she's pretty obsessed about Judaism. I said something stupid and asked what this thing was she was talking about, and then she went off on one about how people don't realise how much Jewish people have done for the world and other ramblings. And I was like "Woah, simmer down nelly!" (I didn't actually say that, by the way). I apologised if I offended her, and she simply said it wasn't my fault but my school's for not religiously educating me enough...
So, GAF, do I run for the hills or try my luck?
PS. She's smoking hot.
Me: Also, keep next Saturday free. I'll talk more tomorrow though as I'm seriously drained right now!
Her: Haha okay. Next Saturday night? During the day I'm fasting for the festival of yom kippur and repenting for my sins... [She's Jewish]
Me: Saturday night sounds good. Laters! [She responded quite quickly so I hadn't gone just yet].
Her: May be going to family for dinner though so I'll have to let you know. [I woke up to this message which put a bit of a bummer for the first part of my morning].
Me [much later in the day]: No problemo. Do you have a mobile number I can contact you on? Much easier than messaging on here.
Her: Do you have whatsapp? I can't afford to text much, don't get free texts. [This sounded like an excuse at first, but then it occurred to me WhatsApp pulls from your phone book].
Me: Yeah I have WhatsApp. What's your number?
Her: XXXXXXXXXXX
So yeah that ended our conversation on OkCupid and we've been chatting on WhatsApp since Saturday.
Even though the date is seemingly postponed for now, I assume she's still into me as we've been chatting most evenings and lunchtimes since adding each other. I even changed my OkCupid profile pic the other day and she sent an OkCupid message saying how sexy it looked. Then I start to wonder how sane she is because no-one has ever said that to me before. Fast-forward to tonight and I think I've discovered the real her. I mentioned she's Jewish... Well, she's pretty obsessed about Judaism. I said something stupid and asked what this thing was she was talking about, and then she went off on one about how people don't realise how much Jewish people have done for the world and other ramblings. And I was like "Woah, simmer down nelly!" (I didn't actually say that, by the way). I apologised if I offended her, and she simply said it wasn't my fault but my school's for not religiously educating me enough...
So, GAF, do I run for the hills or try my luck?
PS. She's smoking hot.
forknknife
Banned
I stopped reading here
What should I do as far as what I put in my profile about having been to therapy for social anxiety? Reason I ask is something like this I'm sure would be a deal breaker for a lot of women and right now I don't mention anything about it. Thing is I've been on a bunch of first dates but I usually don't pursue it because I think "oh she's too normal, if she knew about this she wouldn't even be here". I am 36 without any real relationship experience. I had a sexual relationship with a young lady from a Meetup group (that I of course let myself invest in emotionally) but that's been about it.
I feel like I'm wasting the time of these women. Almost every one made it sound like they'd go on another date but this shit sits in my brain and stops me from trying. I'm that guy who goes on one date and never communicates again.
I wasn't a super shut in or anything but this stuff started way late for me (was a virgin until 29 and lost it to a "professional").
I feel like I'm wasting the time of these women. Almost every one made it sound like they'd go on another date but this shit sits in my brain and stops me from trying. I'm that guy who goes on one date and never communicates again.
I wasn't a super shut in or anything but this stuff started way late for me (was a virgin until 29 and lost it to a "professional").
Just say you're socially awkward and shy...no real need to go into that much details on your profile.
stn
Member
@trs1080
You're right, most people will be put off by it. Best idea is to keep it to yourself. Try to instead focus on getting over your anxiety. Pretend its not there, that's how it all starts. I know this sounds easy for me to say because I don't have the same problems, but at the end of the day its just people.
The more you encounter cool people, the more you realize that they're not all out to judge you and critique you. Be kind and you'll get kindness. Enough exposure will get rid of your anxiety, just stop pressuring yourself.
You're right, most people will be put off by it. Best idea is to keep it to yourself. Try to instead focus on getting over your anxiety. Pretend its not there, that's how it all starts. I know this sounds easy for me to say because I don't have the same problems, but at the end of the day its just people.
The more you encounter cool people, the more you realize that they're not all out to judge you and critique you. Be kind and you'll get kindness. Enough exposure will get rid of your anxiety, just stop pressuring yourself.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
This opening message probably wasn't as funny as I thought it was:Girl's profile said:
forknknife
Banned
This opening message probably wasn't as funny as I thought it was:
hahaha nice
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
This opening message probably wasn't as funny as I thought it was:
No, it was better.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I feel a little dirty messaging 18-year-olds (I'm 24), but it does boost my ego when they respond.
Got a first message from a cute nerdy girl, unfortunately she crossed one of my deal breaker lines. She sees homosexuality as a sin, and I had to inform her that I wouldn't continue messaging her because of that belief. Oh well, let's me continue to focus on my job hunt and JET application!
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