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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!

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K

kaizoku

I'm not as deluded as I make myself out to be
I've been texting a girl from POF for a week or so but damn if it isn't abit confusing.

I approached her as usual and after a few msgs on site she asks for my number cos she won't be using pof much anymore.

So we start texting but its bloody hard work. She never asks me anything. In the week or so we've been texting she's asked me one question which is 'what's your job?' Which she didnt ask until a couple days ago! FIRST AND ONLY QUESTION!!

Almost seems like she isn't interested but she replies like right away to my msgs and even sent me a few pics of her meal with some friends.

She's pretty, possibly out of my league tbh, but I'm the one kind of ignoring her msgs or not replying right away lol bit nervous about meeting because any banter I do is more or less one way!
 
stn

stn

Member
@kaizoku

First off, she's not out of your league. Get that nonsense out of your head if you wish to succeed with her. Second, why not call her out? I did it to one girl before. I simply told her that I believe communication is not solely the man's job. If she agrees, great; if she doesn't, she's too boring and immature.

In the end, you win.
 
A

A Human Becoming

More than a Member
Not sure what to make of this lady I've been talking to for almost a week now. She's been dissing my career choice lol.

Her said:
I knew this lady who was an elementary school teacher, and the pay was so bad that she became a waitress instead.
Click to expand...
Her said:
Gee, that sounds like an awful career path. Aren't you getting in an awful lot of debt? That's my number one excuse for not going to school for real -- I'm just not ready to pay for it yet. I hope you really like kids!
Click to expand...
Her said:
I hate kids. I worked as a swim teacher for years and I burned out so bad. It's a lot of work for really shitty pay. At least you are still enthusiastic.
Click to expand...
 
M

mooooose

Member
Maaaaaan I signed up for this site again, even though all the cool girls live in NYC and I'm out on Long Island. Found one girl who seemed cool and became infatuated with, sent her a message and she responded with a good message, clearly liked my profile. I sent another, she sent another, then I think I geeked out too hard about her saying she went to FYF in LA, and then she talked about Death Grips and how cool they are and how much they are dicks. And I said yeah, and their album cover had their drummer's dick on it. I hope one day I can put my dick on an album cover and have it be "punk rock" and not "voyeurism".

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaan she stopped responding. Wasn't even trying to talk about my dick, just be funny and relevant.

So bummed. She was the only cool girl on here.

If she does respond I'm just going to give her my number, but how the fuck do I say that? I'm afraid of blowing it. Once I get her number, texting is easy.
 
A

AlphaTwo00

Member
spaceboy said:
Obviously not a persuasive essay lol but don't write too much. Start off with a question/comment and let it flow from there. Let her do a lot of the talking. Don't be Silent Bob, but don't be a motormouth either.
Click to expand...
Well, I'm trying to figure out if I'm doing this wrong, but it feels like it. There's a few starter conversations, It just feels like idle chitchat, and it doesn't feel like it's going anywhere, or at least, not anywhere beyond "emailing conversations between friends", not exactly the point of the entire thing. I've had a few people tell me to just zoom past into the asking them out for a quick date just to see if it goes anywhere. Yes, no, what? Confused.
 
S

sssstententen

Member
Just made my account yesterday, already been having a few back to back messages with some cute-looking girls. Also had a girl with no picture with some weird "social experiment" thing going on message me, but she was nice regardless.

I just had a huge red-flag moment where I was browsing through the quickmatches and this bombshell girl's profile, who lives about an hour away from me, pops up. All her pics are ridiculously sexual and her "Talk to me if" line includes "also, if you just wanna talk about sex!". And she's one of the only profiles that has Casual Sex listed. I feel like I'm falling for a honeypot scheme or something haha! I gave it a shot and sent a message anyway.

It's kind of fun, but I feel a little mean so callously picking from girls I find or don't find attractive.
 
protonion

protonion

Member
Wish this site was popular in my country...

Still for some reason they made me a moderator. Deleted 3 pairs of titties in two days!
 
B

bonexylophone

Neo Member
I've had an account for a while but I only use it sporadically. I just re-activated it though and I've been having a bit more luck finding my type of guys. I've gotten a couple of conversations going but argh I'm so shy ugh :B
 
M

mooooose

Member
Okay, so I talked to that girl. She ended up responding and shortly after I gave her my number. I took about 2 days but she texted me tonight and we talked for about a hour and a half and I asked her out. She said "I don't know... You're really cool, but I've never met anyone online in real life... but I'd be open to it if you pinky swear you won't kill me etc etc" (she's 20, and i'm 21).

after that we talked about larry david for ten minutes and then she stopped replying which also kinda fucked with my head, knowing that she read it because she has an iphone.

i don't know how to go about this or how to gauge her interest.

i think the biggest problem is i am infatuated with this girl because i have uncommon interests and she definitely vibes with all of them and our personalities are a lot alike. the more we talk the more i like her.

idk what to do
 
S

spuckthew

Member
Fuck... I think I'm too into this Jewish chick and it's bumming me out slightly. Fireworks went off on both dates, but she dropped the inevitable "You're not Jewish, so it probably won't last" on me at the end of our second date. She said she enjoyed the excitement of being out with an older non-Jewish guy (almost as if she were rebelling), but the crux is that her dad is quite religious and has said he'd chuck her out if she started getting involved with non-Jews lol. She even lied about where she was going on both of our dates! She initiated contact with me, even said she did so because she thought I was quite attractive, and she was all over me towards the end of each night (especially the first). But.. Fuck. I feel like I should have taken GAF's sage advice and not even gone out with her in the first place, but the fact is I still had two fantastic dates with this girl, even if the end to our second was a little bitter-sweet. She has an amazing personality, if a little troubled inside, and we have so much in common... I never thought religion would get between me and a woman, although I'm intelligent and man enough to assume she's probably actually not that interested in me.

Oh well - life goes on!
 
M

mooooose

Member
i ended up creeping on that girls twitter after doing a reverse image search to make sure she was real. i favorited something by accident in the most ridiculous turn of events. i unfavorited it and then deactivated my account but im sure she will get the notification so i dont expect to hear back from her lol
 
R

Rodney McKay

Member
Had a date a week ago, but unfortunately I guessed wrong about her photo and she was much bigger than I feared she was. Serves me right for messaging someone with only a single MySpace-angle photo.
Seemed nice, but no attraction. :(
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
Rodney McKay said:
Had a date a week ago, but unfortunately I guessed wrong about her photo and she was much bigger than I feared she was. Serves me right for messaging someone with only a single MySpace-angle photo.
Seemed nice, but no attraction. :(
Click to expand...

Man, that was probably awkward as hell.
 
-tetsuo-

-tetsuo-

Unlimited Capacity
mooooose said:
i ended up creeping on that girls twitter after doing a reverse image search to make sure she was real. i favorited something by accident in the most ridiculous turn of events. i unfavorited it and then deactivated my account but im sure she will get the notification so i dont expect to hear back from her lol
Click to expand...

Holy shit lol
 
M

Mr_Antimatter

Member
Rodney McKay said:
Had a date a week ago, but unfortunately I guessed wrong about her photo and she was much bigger than I feared she was. Serves me right for messaging someone with only a single MySpace-angle photo.
Seemed nice, but no attraction. :(
Click to expand...

I really hate myspace angles in dating site photos. It's sign number one that a girl is trying to hide something.

Had a few misjudges myself. Weight was also something I was really focused on, because so much of my family is overweight, and i've struggled to avoid that same fate.

ended up with a girl on that site 12 inches shorter then I and about half my weight. Love her to death though, and in fact, we wed in less then two weeks. Love them Phd girls.
 
S

sssstententen

Member
I seem to be messing up post first reply aka not catching their attention enough to keep anyone interested?

I've been sending messages to a few girls, even some who have the whole "replies very selectively" junk going on.

I've gotten a reply for most of them, but then I never know what to follow up with, so I keep it simple and casual, try to spike a conversation about a common interest. Most of the time I just don't get a response, or if I do its a short one/they take awhile/just one more.

Should I be more forward about my interests? More flirty? More complimentary? I assumed that most of these girls (who are pretty good looking) already get showered with that junk so it'd be useless to just shower them with that junk.

Any insight? Should I just be 100% upfront and say in the first message "I'd love to take you out for a bite to eat/a walk in the park/on the town" whatever?
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
Some of the "girls" on the site are gold digging geniuses. I should make a fake account and put my Amazon wishlist like this cunt did.

ibmrGzdu9CX8Dh.png
Click to expand...

I could already see all the free computer parts that could come to my door.
 
A

AlphaTwo00

Member
So, is there a graceful way to end conversation? After doing a bit of searching, the photo of a person I've been talking to has clearly been cleverly angled and designed in a way to be deceiving. I don't know if I have the stomach to continue on.
 
D

Drahcir

Member
Is it worth paying for the A-list? Does anyone use the $2 boost thing?

I was previously using Match for 3 months to zero results (as in no one would reply) and decided to reactivate my OKC profile. This time around I had one girl reply in the ten I tried messaging, but after a little back and forth she stopped replying. I suppose that's typical.
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
Drahcir said:
Is it worth paying for the A-list? Does anyone use the $2 boost thing?

I was previously using Match for 3 months to zero results (as in no one would reply) and decided to reactivate my OKC profile. This time around I had one girl reply in the ten I tried messaging, but after a little back and forth she stopped replying. I suppose that's typical.
Click to expand...

I liked A-list because i could see who rated me and i could look at people's profiles privately. That's pretty much it though. I only got it because i wanted to change my username.
 
RedAssedApe

RedAssedApe

Banned
1st dates starting to feel tedious. I think I've pretty much gotten the coffee date down to something that works for me a decent percentage of the time to land a 2nd date. I just hate getting that 2nd date and the dynamic ends up different and the conversation doesn't flow that well. Maybe I need a different approach. Not to mention the hit on the wallet haha

If I don't tell a girl at the end of a 2nd date that I'm going to call her...is it rude not to call or text or do something that explicitly tells her that I'm not romantically interested?
 
H

HunkyDory

Neo Member
Argh, I hate this online stuff, haha.

I've been messaging a guy back and forth for about a week now. He's seemed interested the whole time, some pretty blatant flirting, always asking me questions to respond to, writing lengthy replies, that sort of thing.

So, I respond to one of his messages a couple of days ago and then... nothing. I can't work out if he's not interested all of a sudden, is more interested in somebody else or whatever.

I really want to send him another message asking him if he wants to go for a drink, but I'm worried that I'll end up seeming crazy. Is there anyway to send another message without coming across as desperate or otherwise stalkery? I'm thinking that the answer is... "No!" but, damnit, I really want to! :p
 
A

A Human Becoming

More than a Member
HunkyDory said:
Argh, I hate this online stuff, haha.

I've been messaging a guy back and forth for about a week now. He's seemed interested the whole time, some pretty blatant flirting, always asking me questions to respond to, writing lengthy replies, that sort of thing.

So, I respond to one of his messages a couple of days ago and then... nothing. I can't work out if he's not interested all of a sudden, is more interested in somebody else or whatever.

I really want to send him another message asking him if he wants to go for a drink, but I'm worried that I'll end up seeming crazy. Is there anyway to send another message without coming across as desperate or otherwise stalkery? I'm thinking that the answer is... "No!" but, damnit, I really want to! :p
Click to expand...
We've all been there but no, in 99% of cases you shouldn't send a second message.
 
stn

stn

Member
Yeah, don't send another message. I made the same decision myself recently, this after actually meeting the girl and getting ignored on my attempts for a second meet-up. It sucks but you get over it with time.

Also, got messaged recently by a model. Got slightly excited. She replied a few times, suddenly stopped. There's my "weird OKC moment" of the day. :)
 
E

Ethics Gradient

Member
A Human Becoming said:
Woman who liked like me didn't respond to my message. Okay.
Click to expand...

Happens. Just like sometimes you like someone who may be borderline and then you change your mind later. Could any number of reasons.

I've been comparing OkCupid and Match and it's interesting I get such different results on each site. OkCupid is a much better UI, but since it's free you get a lot of people that are just fuckin around. With Match, the women seem a little more real, a little less fun(crazy?), and I'm getting more actual dates off of it. I think they are less overwhelmed with messages (since you have to be a subscriber to message).

This is all in LA.
 
A

A Human Becoming

More than a Member
Ethics Gradient said:
Happens. Just like sometimes you like someone who may be borderline and then you change your mind later. Could any number of reasons.
Click to expand...
You're right, it just sucks.

Looks like I killed a two week conversation I had going. Our responses were getting so long I suggested we should meet up to talk. Bleh, not a big loss really. I've had very little success elsewhere though. My response rate is down to 38%.
 
R

Rodney McKay

Member
Just reconnected with the first woman I ever dated from OKCupid (saw her on Match.com actually, haha).

This was years ago when I was so new to the whole dating thing that I never even got around to kissing her before the college year ended. But she seemed totally interested in meeting up again and we've got a date for tomorrow!
 
L

Leeness

Member
Lol. That's a first.

"I guess I'm not hot enough for you to talk to me???"

Well no, it's because we seem to have completely different goals (he has: wants children, actively looking for a relationship, I have: never wants kids, does not want a relationship), but keep thinking that. :/
 
Jzero

Jzero

Member
Leeness said:
Lol. That's a first.

"I guess I'm not hot enough for you to talk to me???"

Well no, it's because we seem to have completely different goals (he has: wants children, actively looking for a relationship, I have: never wants kids, does not want a relationship), but keep thinking that. :/
Click to expand...

Uh why are you on a dating site if you don't want a relationship? Are you DTF?
 
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