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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
- Status
That's like telling Nausciaa not to interfere with nature.
Because OKC is scary
You're in Canada right?...OKC Canadians are just scary individuals. :-(
AlphaTwo00
Member
Well then... that explains so much.
OKC seems like a giant waste of time. I'm not sure if it's how I'm sending out messages, or a matter of just people not responding, but it's just feels like I'm yelling at a wall. And that's not a good feeling.
Apparently :/
-tetsuo-
Unlimited Capacity
The man you search for does not exist, I am sorry to tell you.
Undercover Opulent
Banned
Okcupid is awkward for me. I showed a friend the girls Im talking to and he knows a few of them.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Pretty much any time Leeness posts and others post back at her, emoticons come out all over the place, and that bums me out. People getting gross in here.
double jump
you haven't lived until a random little kid ask you "how do you make love".
not sure what to put in the about me section. not sure if anyone can help with that but any tips on profile improvement would be appreciated.
sssstententen
Member
Keep it short and sweet in my opinion. Something smart/witty/clever, a small quip about yourself, that's it.
Nothing you really put is going to grab their attention, its your pictures first, then the profile second. I tend to elaborate more on the other parts: the interests, etc
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I feel like a real douchebag for considering to respond to a message solely because the woman says in her questions she's fine having a relationship just based around sex.
A man has NEEDS!
A man has NEEDS!
Lame excuse.
You know what I wish PoF would adopt from OkC? The ability to know if you sent a message to someone. I cannot recall if I messaged a particular woman or not 20% of the time.
:-(
:-(
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
If you're already thinking it, you should do it.
Takes me anywhere from 2-4 message returns.
ThisWreckage
Banned
Women who use this site that already have boyfriends have serious mental issues. I had to refrain from completely tearing down someone psychologically.
I always assume anyone on there that is "seeing someone" is in an open relationship.
ThisWreckage
Banned
Nope. A lot of women use the site "just to find friends" which is essentially code for "a) this site allows me to keep my options open and leave the person I'm with if something better comes along b) I'm using this as a tool to provoke arguments and jealousy or c) an ego booster." There is no reason for a woman to be on these dating sites unless she's in an open relationship or legitimately single but you'll find that those situations are very, very rare.
Confused101
Member
Man, I'm so disheartened about this whole situation right now. I contacted 2 girls that had just about everything I was looking for in a companion. They were cute, we had a lot in common, no kids, and it sounded like they were both handling their business fairly well. Well they both visited my profile and no response. Why am I so god damn undesirable?! I realize I'm not a super model, but I thought I had at least something going on. Apparently not. I can almost feel the little bit of self esteem that I had slipping away.
Sorry, I just wanted to vent.
Sorry, I just wanted to vent.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Is your profile boring?
It really doesn't necessarily mean anything. I've had girls like me, visit my profile a couple of times, I send a message, and nothing. Timing is involved in a lot of this.
Confused101
Member
Good question. When I first posted it, others said it was good and suggested that I change my profile picture which I did. I did contact a female friend of mine last week to look it over and she said it was pretty good but could use some improvement. Her and I have been working on it and I'll probably be updating it soon. To answer your original question, I never received any feedback that it was boring. It had a good chunk of information about me in it, but I wouldn't have called it boring. I guess those girls just didn't like what they saw.
I'll post my profile when it's updated and you guys can tell me what you think. I won't be contacting anyone until it's done.
The best way to not get discouraged is to think of them not responding to you as their loss. I've been told by many girls that I'm an awesome date so a girl not responding to my message is missing out on me and my awesome date skills. *puffs up feathers*
It's the only way to really rationalize all the possible rejection you get on OKC.
Confused101
Member
Thanks man. That's a good way to look at it.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
So many adorable Asian guys looking at my profile this week, but they're all in California or overseas. Why you gotta tease me like that? ;__;
Cow Mengde
Banned
Guys, don't waste your time thinking up messages. If you can write a simple one sentence question that relates to their profile, then send it. My response rate went from 1% to around 30% after doing this. If you can't think of a quick short question, don't bother. You can always come back to this person later.
Yes, I know the tip to not give a fuck has been repeated over and over again, but I want to stress not giving a fuck when you message her as well. Don't write well thought out messages even if they're short. Your first message should just show you read their profile with a simple question as quickly as possible. Don't even waste your time with a greeting.
Post it here so the Asian guys on this forum can creep on your profile.
Yes, I know the tip to not give a fuck has been repeated over and over again, but I want to stress not giving a fuck when you message her as well. Don't write well thought out messages even if they're short. Your first message should just show you read their profile with a simple question as quickly as possible. Don't even waste your time with a greeting.
Post it here so the Asian guys on this forum can creep on your profile.
I set up a new profile Friday evening only filling out the basic info. Girl messages me Saturday morning. We MSG back and forth a couple of times and then this morning she asks if I want to get coffee. We meet at a Starbucks. She decides it is too busy to sit down and invites me back to her apartment for some home made chili. She had said before that if I was lucky I would get to have a bowl. We both had a really good vibe from the start and I have never had a better first date. I haven't dated in years.
We ended up talking for hours and it ended with a couple of goodnight kisses. I think there is some real potential.
We ended up talking for hours and it ended with a couple of goodnight kisses. I think there is some real potential.
AlphaTwo00
Member
So where you at
So yes, I can now agree with the "not give a fuck" statement, and also just don't worry about percentages of response. There's a ton out there that are just inactive accounts, or just not bothering to reply. I think in the long run, I've gotten a better response rate, on both OKC and others.
...So, am I suppose to feel this god damn terrible if I was a bit iffy about a first date, gave her another chance for a second date, and decided that it was better to let her know that I don't think it's going to work?
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
So where you at
I'm in Seattle, where something like 15% of the population is Asian but very few of them are on okcupid, heh. Proooobably gonna keep my profile out of here, though.
It's no big deal anyway: I got a message from a super cute Filipino guy who I recognized from my gym, and we've gone out twice now
and been naked at the end of both dates, lawls
We made a steak dinner together at her apartment last night. We watched some classic Disney (Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad) and cuddled on the couch until we both got tired. I said that it was probably time for me to get going and she invited me to spend the night and I happily accepted.
I just moved to a new city in early September for a job and my plan was to try to find someone. I am kind of blown away how fast everything happened.
Confused101
Member
This is awesome to hear. Congrats to you man!
Thank you. I really appreciate it and best of luck to you.
GOOD LUCK MADDOCKS!!!!!
Thought I may as well share my experience on it, which has been largely positive.
I'd been single for about 2 and a half years by the time I setup my account in December of last year. I'd have several dates, but they didn't go anywhere, quite often on my side and at that point a lot of them were set-up by other people which led to a lot of friction when I didn't pursue it, so thought I'd go my own way on it via internet dating.
A few days after setting up my OKC account, I got a random message from a girl and we just hit it off and then started talking through Steam. It felt like I'd known this girl for 20 years though so by the time we met up, it felt completely platonic and luckily it was on both sides as that girl is now my best friend/housemate and it's just awesome that neither of us have ever felt anything towards each other in that way.
A few months pass and lots of dull conversations happen on the site. I don't think a lot of the girls I spoke to were necessarily dull, we just couldn't hold a fun conversation between us so I never felt it was worth giving it a chance in person. Through this period, I keep being told that my standards are too high and that a 28 year old guy shouldn't be that picky, but hell, I am one of those people who would rather be alone than just settle for something that I feel is second best, so I politely told them where to stick their opinions.
Started talking to this new girl and everything clicked. The conversation before meeting went on longer than I would have liked due to an illness she contracted at the time, but we agreed to meet up eventually. It was an odd date, purely because the first few hours were really great and we were bouncing off each other, then suddenly she gets a little cold with me. Think nothing of it and she says she's tired so I walk her to the bus and ask outright if it's an escape plan or if she is just tired and she says that she is tired. Text her a few times after that, but every conversation she makes a point of calling me "mate" so I get the picture that that's over.
Had my third meeting in August after a totally insane conversation with someone via the site. I go to her town which is only 45 mins away on a train, we meet up at her local and have a few drinks and a couple of hours in, it seems like everyone she knows appears in the pub. We were having a brilliant time before that so I stick around anyway and see what happened and just have an excellent night with her friends too. Once they head off for the night, we're back in date mode and everything just feels right.
That date turned into a full weekend, as did the second and the third was just 4 days of us being together solid. It's been brilliant so far, although the gaps between the dates have been long due to circumstances beyond both of our controls. Hopefully should be coming up here for a gig in a couple of weeks and I'm really happy that I've found someone that I just have such a good time with.
Also, pof is just the worst.
Thought I may as well share my experience on it, which has been largely positive.
I'd been single for about 2 and a half years by the time I setup my account in December of last year. I'd have several dates, but they didn't go anywhere, quite often on my side and at that point a lot of them were set-up by other people which led to a lot of friction when I didn't pursue it, so thought I'd go my own way on it via internet dating.
A few days after setting up my OKC account, I got a random message from a girl and we just hit it off and then started talking through Steam. It felt like I'd known this girl for 20 years though so by the time we met up, it felt completely platonic and luckily it was on both sides as that girl is now my best friend/housemate and it's just awesome that neither of us have ever felt anything towards each other in that way.
A few months pass and lots of dull conversations happen on the site. I don't think a lot of the girls I spoke to were necessarily dull, we just couldn't hold a fun conversation between us so I never felt it was worth giving it a chance in person. Through this period, I keep being told that my standards are too high and that a 28 year old guy shouldn't be that picky, but hell, I am one of those people who would rather be alone than just settle for something that I feel is second best, so I politely told them where to stick their opinions.
Started talking to this new girl and everything clicked. The conversation before meeting went on longer than I would have liked due to an illness she contracted at the time, but we agreed to meet up eventually. It was an odd date, purely because the first few hours were really great and we were bouncing off each other, then suddenly she gets a little cold with me. Think nothing of it and she says she's tired so I walk her to the bus and ask outright if it's an escape plan or if she is just tired and she says that she is tired. Text her a few times after that, but every conversation she makes a point of calling me "mate" so I get the picture that that's over.
Had my third meeting in August after a totally insane conversation with someone via the site. I go to her town which is only 45 mins away on a train, we meet up at her local and have a few drinks and a couple of hours in, it seems like everyone she knows appears in the pub. We were having a brilliant time before that so I stick around anyway and see what happened and just have an excellent night with her friends too. Once they head off for the night, we're back in date mode and everything just feels right.
That date turned into a full weekend, as did the second and the third was just 4 days of us being together solid. It's been brilliant so far, although the gaps between the dates have been long due to circumstances beyond both of our controls. Hopefully should be coming up here for a gig in a couple of weeks and I'm really happy that I've found someone that I just have such a good time with.
Also, pof is just the worst.
TheApatheticOne
Member
Haven't been in this thread for awhile, but thought I'd give a summary of my experiences on OKC.
Been divorced since March (although separated since December 2010) and joined the site in early April of this year.
In those months, I met 8 women, talked in depth with countless others. Mostly the site is Kellogg's factory.... full of flakes. I'm currently down to talking to one, but it appears to be fizzling out.
I've said no thanks to half of those, and the way this last one's going, the other half will have said no thanks to me. At this point, I'm out for awhile. I'm 32 going on 33 this month, and would like to have a family someday, but done with online dating... at least for a bit.
Non-sour grapes review, just my honest opinion:
- OKC... more like single mothers. Most with 2+ kids.
- The experiences were good to get under the belt, even if the experiences themselves were mixed.
- Girls, even in their 30's, are very unrealistic in their searches. Oh, you have two kids with two different people, kinda chunky, working retail... but I'm not Channing Tatum PhD with 50 acres of farm land, so..... my bad? To quote Triumph "You like spoilers? Here's a spoiler for you! You will die.... alone."
- There are some crazies on there. One girl talked about her fist fight with her fiance that was wild. One girl still texts me even though I said no thanks an hour after our date, in which she immediately asked what the real reason was because she needed closure... after one date.
It sucks, because I just want to meet someone. And in my current situation, online is more or less it. But I don't believe I work well in the show up and audition setting.
Currently taking cage fitness classes followed immediately by TaeKwonDo, about a month in, and have been working out since April. Probably going to stop the online stuff until at least Spring, and see how I feel then.
Been divorced since March (although separated since December 2010) and joined the site in early April of this year.
In those months, I met 8 women, talked in depth with countless others. Mostly the site is Kellogg's factory.... full of flakes. I'm currently down to talking to one, but it appears to be fizzling out.
I've said no thanks to half of those, and the way this last one's going, the other half will have said no thanks to me. At this point, I'm out for awhile. I'm 32 going on 33 this month, and would like to have a family someday, but done with online dating... at least for a bit.
Non-sour grapes review, just my honest opinion:
- OKC... more like single mothers. Most with 2+ kids.
- The experiences were good to get under the belt, even if the experiences themselves were mixed.
- Girls, even in their 30's, are very unrealistic in their searches. Oh, you have two kids with two different people, kinda chunky, working retail... but I'm not Channing Tatum PhD with 50 acres of farm land, so..... my bad? To quote Triumph "You like spoilers? Here's a spoiler for you! You will die.... alone."
- There are some crazies on there. One girl talked about her fist fight with her fiance that was wild. One girl still texts me even though I said no thanks an hour after our date, in which she immediately asked what the real reason was because she needed closure... after one date.
It sucks, because I just want to meet someone. And in my current situation, online is more or less it. But I don't believe I work well in the show up and audition setting.
Currently taking cage fitness classes followed immediately by TaeKwonDo, about a month in, and have been working out since April. Probably going to stop the online stuff until at least Spring, and see how I feel then.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Or... they could actually be busy. I've had to turn down some potential dates because I simply wouldn't have the time/energy for several days, and can only roll my eyes at how butt-hurt some of them act in response.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I once told a girl I'd be busy for a few days, and detailed all the reasons why in a timeline (something I did so she'd know I wasn't bullshitting), and she whined at me that she's losing incentive to try and see me because I'm busy a lot.
"Hey, I'm busy" and getting "WHAT ABOUT ME" in return is a dealbreaker.
It's probably because I'm a bitter, jealous asshole who really isn't in the right frame of mind for dating but I do it anyway because I'm lonely and desperate. My post probably reflected that pretty well.
I'm in Seattle, where something like 15% of the population is Asian but very few of them are on okcupid, heh. Proooobably gonna keep my profile out of here, though.
It's no big deal anyway: I got a message from a super cute Filipino guy who I recognized from my gym, and we've gone out twice nowand been naked at the end of both dates, lawls
I alway thought you were a girl.
-tetsuo-
Unlimited Capacity
Nah man, he posts pictures in the Picture thread all the time.
I stopped hitting up chicks once school started. However, a few days ago, I received an email stating that someone had rated me highly. I checked her profile, thought about it since her pictures didn't look too deceiving after my last experience and decided to go for it.
She's tall at 6 ft but maybe that's the reason she rated me highly; she was looking for a tall dude; I'm 6''3 for reference. She looks okay, Nothing that makes me raise my eye brows; definitely not morbidly obese and likes to dance which shows so that's good but she didn't list her body type which I would guess is average based on her pics. Only concern is she only one long shot picture of herself dancing; the rest of the pics are close ups and medium close ups so that gives me an indication that she's insecure about her body.
Any way, we've got 2 exchanges going so we'll see where that goes; I'll probably suggest exchanging numbers after the next reply or after the next one. I'm sick so if I were to meet up with her, I would tell her so in person unless I make a speedy recovery.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
My friend talked me out of meeting up with a woman last night I met on OkCupid who was down to fuck. After talking to her Monday she sent me her number to text. That's when she started sending very sexually themed messages.
When I showed them to my friend she warned me the woman was a slut and might be carrying a nest of STDs. My friend also said I shouldn't be going after women who would have sex with anyone and that I can do better.
I think I made the right choice, but it wasn't easy because I've never had a woman so easily want to have sex with me and I haven't had it in over three years. Daddy horny Michael.
When I showed them to my friend she warned me the woman was a slut and might be carrying a nest of STDs. My friend also said I shouldn't be going after women who would have sex with anyone and that I can do better.
I think I made the right choice, but it wasn't easy because I've never had a woman so easily want to have sex with me and I haven't had it in over three years. Daddy horny Michael.
stn
Member
HUH? Why would the woman have STD's just because of sexually themed text messages? I just see it as her trying to seduce you further and adding some playfulness to the eventual meet-up. Chances are she's just horny.My friend talked me out of meeting up with a woman last night I met on OkCupid who was down to fuck. After talking to her Monday she sent me her number to text. That's when she started sending very sexually themed messages.
When I showed them to my friend she warned me the woman was a slut and might be carrying a nest of STDs. My friend also said I shouldn't be going after women who would have sex with anyone and that I can do better.
I think I made the right choice, but it wasn't easy because I've never had a woman so easily want to have sex with me and I haven't had it in over three years. Daddy horny Michael.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Seriously, that's it? Seems she's a good communicator. Ask her if she's clean and go for it. Your friend's pretty judgmental.
@Human, your friend is being a douche. Definitely agree with meeting up with her. You have nothing to fear. Just use protection and enjoy the ride.
Also, I'm of the opinion that slut is such a strong pejorative word to use since it implies that she's dirty for choosing to have sex with multiple partners at once. She's promiscuous and free to pork whoever she wants so your friend has poor choice of words. Maybe he's jealous or something.
I'll say go for it man. At least she's being honest with you from the looks of her texts.
Also, I'm of the opinion that slut is such a strong pejorative word to use since it implies that she's dirty for choosing to have sex with multiple partners at once. She's promiscuous and free to pork whoever she wants so your friend has poor choice of words. Maybe he's jealous or something.
I'll say go for it man. At least she's being honest with you from the looks of her texts.
jamesinclair
Banned
Well no shit.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
What does that mean?
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