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[Gvaz]

That's what I thought. My friend was very adamant I shouldn't go through with it. Maybe I should just go fuck her anyway.

This is what she had sent me.

No dude, just wear a rubber properly and you're g2g. Your friends are right to be cautious but its up to you. If you're both dtf just go for it.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

What does that mean?

Because you're letting other people scare you out of getting laid.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Because you're letting other people scare you out of getting laid.

This is the first instance of this ever happening. The reasons I haven't had sex are much more complex.

 

[Jimothy]

My friend talked me out of meeting up with a woman last night I met on OkCupid who was down to fuck. After talking to her Monday she sent me her number to text. That's when she started sending very sexually themed messages.

When I showed them to my friend she warned me the woman was a slut and might be carrying a nest of STDs. My friend also said I shouldn't be going after women who would have sex with anyone and that I can do better.

I think I made the right choice, but it wasn't easy because I've never had a woman so easily want to have sex with me and I haven't had it in over three years. Daddy horny Michael.

Is your friend really religious or something? Seems like he's saying you should only go after virgins because they're still "pure" or whatever. Or he's just jealous you have the opportunity to have casual sex with someone. This dude doesn't sound like someone worth being friends with.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

This is the first instance of this ever happening. The reasons I haven't had sex are much more complex.

Just saying, an opportunity is literally throwing itself at you and you're considering not taking it.

If you're attracted to the girl you should throw on your dong poncho and have some fun.

 

[jamesinclair]

What does that mean?

Because when someone tries to have sex with you, you call then a diseased slut?

 

[A Human Becoming]

Because when someone tries to have sex with you, you call then a diseased slut?

I didn't, my friend did. I shouldn't have let her judgment affect mine.

Is your friend really religious or something? Seems like he's saying you should only go after virgins because they're still "pure" or whatever. Or he's just jealous you have the opportunity to have casual sex with someone. This dude doesn't sound like someone worth being friends with.

I like how people are assuming my friends a guy. I thought I made it clear it was a woman.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Because when someone tries to have sex with you, you call then a diseased slut?

This sentence really puts what happened here in perspective.

 

[Cosmic Bus]

Hah. Your friend's opinion is a classic.

Woman enjoys sex, is a dirty slut. Man enjoys sex, +100 bro points and high fives all around.

 

[Jimothy]

I like how people are assuming my friends a guy. I thought I made it clear it was a woman.

Doesn't change the fact you shouldn't be friends with a slut-shamer. Life's too short to associate with those kind of people.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Doesn't change the fact you shouldn't be friends with a slut-shamer. Life's too short to associate with those kind of people.

I'm going to talk to her about it once she's feeling better. I'll try to show her another perspective.

 

[Jhoan]

Well, conversation reached a lull so I suggested meeting up and offered up my number/name. Let's see how it goes. If it goes through as planned, she hopefully won't be another disappointing date after the last one. Every online date I've been on has been disappointing so far. I should also mention that I only have one picture nowadays.

EDIT: Update: Number secured. Will hit her up and set something up for next week when I'm not busy (either Tuesday, or Thursday).

 

[Jzero]

Lol so true.

 

[jamesinclair]

Holy shit, an unsolicited message!

You seem cute

itsatrap.gif

Which is bigger?
The earth

I fucking knew it.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Cross-posting from Dating-Age:

I had sex with the chick I was talking about. While she enjoyed herself (or did a decent job faking it), I didn't. I couldn't even climax, which has never happened before. I kept it up for a good length of time but I just didn't find her attractive. Her picture on OkCupid made her out to have a nice face, which wasn't the case in person.

I will never, EVER have sex again for the sake of having sex. It may be sometime before I even want sex again. I feel so shitty about myself. I'm probably an asshole for saying this (so be it), but afterwards during dinner when I looked at her sometimes I would picture her vagina which made me feel sick.

 

[jamesinclair]

Cross-posting from Dating-Age:

I had sex with the chick I was talking about. While she enjoyed herself (or did a decent job faking it), I didn't. I couldn't even climax, which has never happened before. I kept it up for a good length of time but I just didn't find her attractive. Her picture on OkCupid made her out to have a nice face, which wasn't the case in person.

I will never, EVER have sex again for the sake of having sex. It may be sometime before I even want sex again. I feel so shitty about myself. I'm probably an asshole for saying this (so be it), but afterwards during dinner when I looked at her sometimes I would picture her vagina which made me feel sick.

Damn it dude, I told you to wait.

 

[A Human Becoming]

Damn it dude, I told you to wait.

You did not. Look at your posts to me.

 

[jamesinclair]

You did not. Look at your posts to me.

Im just playing dude.

On a serious note, do it again. You cant know if the sex was bad that one time because ITS BEEN THREE YEARS or if its her.

Only one way to find out...

 

[GatorBait]

While I was on vacation, I decided I'm not getting any younger and trying out online dating is probably worth a shot since I've hit the point in my life where the majority of people I hang out on a day-to-day basis are pre-existing friends and work colleagues. I just haven't been meeting as many girls as I used to since I've become tired of hanging out at bars every weekend.

In the process of creating my profile on OKCupid now (this and Plenty of Fish are the best free sites, right?). Wish me luck! Some of these questions are tough, especially since I sometimes find it tough to write about myself.

 

[Poltergust]

I created one about a week ago (under the same username if you guys want to stalk my profile) and have had some moderate success with it. And by moderate success, I mean actually getting a few dates.

Unfortunately, though, I haven't been feeling anything special with anyone I've met so far. I wonder if I'll actually find someone on here that I'm really into (and will go out with me lol)...

 

[Servbot24]

Is it okay to have pictures in my profile that include my ex? There's nothing in it that blatantly points out we were together at the time, but we are the only two in the picture. I wouldn't bother with it, it's just that I have so few interesting pictures to put up.

Eh I'll just post it here

Also I know that she is online dating again so hopefully she doesn't stumble upon my profile with this

 

[Jhoan]

Is it okay to have pictures in my profile that include my ex? There's nothing in it that blatantly points out we were together at the time, but we are the only two in the picture. I wouldn't bother with it, it's just that I have so few interesting pictures to put up.

*pic with Ex*

I dunno man. I would think that many women would think that if a guy has a picture with a woman in one of his pictures, they would assume it's their girlfriend (unless it's a celebrity) even if it clearly says that you're single. I have a ton of pictures with a bunch of attractive cosplayers from last year's Comic Con but I've never put one up because of this. I wouldn't mind trying it out myself as an experiment. Not trying to make a generalized statement by the way in case anyone gets offended.

So that chick who's number I got over the weekend never followed back up with me after I replied to her text. This was on Sunday. I remember that many folks on the Dating Age thread said that if a woman is still interested, she'll re initiate contact.

Evidently it looks like her interest fizzled. There's a part of me that says I should hit her up again to see if she replies, but I think I'm going to do the opposite and delete her number. I've got better things to do with my time; I've been going along my schedule as is. In retrospect, as soon as I got her number, I should've cut the fluff talk and scheduled a day to meet up at. I think I'll keep this in mind for future reference.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I've sucked ass at second messages this month. Here are the three with no follow up response:

Me: 'ello! I think it's pretty awesome you have such an ambitious goal. What are your thoughts on Obamacare, especially with the government shutdown going on?

Her: Hi there

I am in favor of most parts of Obamacare. I definitely think it has some flaws that need to be worked out, but I think overall it is good. I do think that people forget what the law really does which is reform insurance companies and provide access to more affordable coverage, not necessary increase access to healthcare. I do find this whole government shutdown ridiculous and it blows my mind that these few tea parties have that much power over the house. What are your thoughts on the whole debacle?

I see you have a dog, what is the breed?

Me: What flaws do you see with it? I'm not thrilled with it because, as you said, it's doesn't necessarily increase access to healthcare, which I think is important. As for the shutdown, considering Republicans failed to overturn Obamacare forty times and the Supreme Court ruled it constitutional, it's childish to keep such a stark stance. I didn't think they'd go through with the shutdown, as they backed down last year or the year before at the last minute. One representative had some nerve to say she still needed her paycheck as 800k go without one.

She's a pitbull bullmastiff. Do you have any pets?

Me: 'ello! First, I have to say that Gump song from your last.fm was very amusing. Also, it seems your into the Based God?

Oh and I think it's pretty awesome you have the ambition to be a college professor. Why is that appealing to you?

Her: Yes I met lil b

Me: What's your favorite lil b track? Apologies for the incorrect you're. I know how that irritates people.

Me: 'ello! Hiking in flip flops sounds painful. Do you do it often?

Her: I never plan to. It's just usually how it works out. It's not too bad. Did it in the pouring rain once which was near impossible though.

Me: I imagine. So, when you're not spontaneously hiking in flip flops, what do you like to do?​

Nitpick away! The first one is obvious why it failed, the second possibly due to the correction I made, but the third is not so clear.

I hate this fucking game.

 

[dralla]

I've sucked ass at second messages this month. Here are the three with no follow up response:

Nitpick away! The first one is obvious why it failed, the second possibly due to the correction I made, but the third is not so clear.

I hate this fucking game.

As someone who has been relatively successful on this site, those messages seem too "serious" to me. All of my exchanges that have lead to anything have been fun but insignificant. My thinking is, drilling someone with serious questions that require a lot of thought can be too much, you want to ask questions that are easy to answer so you get a back and forth going and then ask for the number. When you meet them in person, that's when you start to get to know them and have more meaningful conversations.

To give you an idea of how simple and silly I keep it

Mentioned her hate for unfrosted pop tarts in her profile

Mentioned her love of dark chocolate

We messages on the chat after this, talked about chocolate and candy for a good hour

If I ever saw a Dr. Who reference, I'd say "Who's your favorite Doctor, Tennant? You look like a Tennant kind of girl" or something along those lines. This one worked quite a bit. You could use this with any show really.

And plenty more. I've been seeing the girl from the first convo for a few months now, hence the profile deactivation.

Also, the way you look at it..as "passing" or "failing", there's no need to add that kind of pressure to yourself. I know it can be hard but you need to not care as much. If a girl is interested, she'll respond.

Is it okay to have pictures in my profile that include my ex? There's nothing in it that blatantly points out we were together at the time, but we are the only two in the picture. I wouldn't bother with it, it's just that I have so few interesting pictures to put up.

I have a picture with my ex up, had no problems. I had one girl ask me about it. People have ex's, it happens, I don't know why anyone would get upset with it.

 

[Servbot24]

For what it's worth I've been doing pretty well at getting messages in the few days I've had the picture up (was not using the site for about a year before then). I've gotten 3 or so a day, and I'm only talking to attractive girls. Also I just ended my first relationship so I'm possibly better at making good messages now which is probably a factor.

Still have no idea when to ask them out though. Seems like it's different for everyone and you just have to be lucky. Tried it with one girl on the 3rd message and she just ignored it and we kept talking. Gave another girl my number on the 4th message, still waiting on that one.

I've sucked ass at second messages this month. Here are the three with no follow up response:

Nitpick away! The first one is obvious why it failed, the second possibly due to the correction I made, but the third is not so clear.

I hate this fucking game.

Politics probably not a good idea to bring up until you have a few dates under your belt.

Second girl didn't have much to say, I wouldn't worry about that one.

Try to give her a little information about yourself with each message. Girls like being focused on but they also need to know that you're interesting.

 

[Jimothy]

Fuck that. I usually talk about politics right off bat with my dates. What else is there to talk about, bullshit about jobs and family? Sounds like a really boring date. Of course I only go on dates with people of similar political views so if you're insane enough to go on a date with someone polar opposite of you, I guess politics are off limits.

 

[Servbot24]

Chances are you're going to be polar opposite with everyone in some area. If politics are quite important to you then you'll want to find someone compatible, but for many people is lower on the list of priorities.

 

[-tetsuo-]

I've gone to the short, way not serious messages and I almost have too much to deal with now.

 

[MetalGuardian]

God this site has been so awful for me lately. I used to be pretty good at it, but with my recent account re-activation and subsequent profile overhaul I've had ONE LONESOME GIRL RESPOND. WHO LIVES 150 MILES AWAY.

I've sent out at least 30 messages too, and they all have been carefully crafted and personalized and meaty and funny (or at the very least off-beat and unique).

The game is rigged man. It's some bullshit. Maybe my new profile is awful, but I feel like it's the best/most representative one I've ever had

Maybe I'm just too much of a badass for dem bitches to handle

[/SPOILER]SIGH [/SPOILER]

Well, i hope you all are having better luck at least.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

and meaty

The guy above you has it right. This is where you failed.

Even if someone might like you, the pressure and time investment of responding to long shit will just wreck it. Keep it as short as possible.

 

[Jhoan]

EDIT: Nevermind. Dating-Age got me. I deleted the message since it was spam.

I will say that I've been getting 5 stars every now and then by chicks that don't look remotely interesting. If women's online dating habits were to translate to real life, many women would be carrying around a compact retractable personal 10 foot pole to poke guys that catch their interest and sit far away from men in public places since that's what the 5 star behavior is like.

 

[TylerD]

I got the email that says that I get to see more attractive people now. In my location, I'm just seeing the same girls though.

I think other girl freaked out with how well things were going and we decided to break it off. Women, lol.

 

[-tetsuo-]

So OKC landed me a few dates with a girl that looks kinda like Faora from Man of Steel. Tyte.

 

[Jimothy]

So OKC landed me a few dates with a girl that looks kinda like Faora from Man of Steel. Tyte.

what happened to the superhero girl

 

[AlphaTwo00]

God this site has been so awful for me lately. I used to be pretty good at it, but with my recent account re-activation and subsequent profile overhaul I've had ONE LONESOME GIRL RESPOND. WHO LIVES 150 MILES AWAY.

I've sent out at least 30 messages too, and they all have been carefully crafted and personalized and meaty and funny (or at the very least off-beat and unique).

The game is rigged man. It's some bullshit. Maybe my new profile is awful, but I feel like it's the best/most representative one I've ever had

Maybe I'm just too much of a badass for dem bitches to handle

[/SPOILER]SIGH [/SPOILER]

Well, i hope you all are having better luck at least.

Nope, pretty much the same. Fuck them free sites. I don't know why I keep on trying.

 

[-tetsuo-]

what happened to the superhero girl

I still talk to her but she is waaaay too busy for me.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Cross-posting from Dating-Age:

I had sex with the chick I was talking about. While she enjoyed herself (or did a decent job faking it), I didn't. I couldn't even climax, which has never happened before. I kept it up for a good length of time but I just didn't find her attractive. Her picture on OkCupid made her out to have a nice face, which wasn't the case in person.

I will never, EVER have sex again for the sake of having sex. It may be sometime before I even want sex again. I feel so shitty about myself. I'm probably an asshole for saying this (so be it), but afterwards during dinner when I looked at her sometimes I would picture her vagina which made me feel sick.

Congrats on the sex?

 

[FelixOrion]

Thinking about maybe reactivating again, just to see who's joined while I was away from my tiny city, but probably only for a little while because of the lack of people last time here.

 

[Lucian Cat]

Reactivated my account after a month of singledom and getting over the ex. The day i reactivate it I get a bazillion messages from guys. I mean my god. Even those who had a rating of %10 were messaging me. Anyway I started chatting with this one guy and we really hit it off so exchanged numbers on Saturday. Had our first date last night- dinner and a movie- and it was so nice. I had a great time. He messaged me later saying he had a great night and I'm likely seeing him again this weekend.

On the flipside my friend who apparently has a thing for me is getting shitty that I'm not giving him a chance. Apparently he's been waiting on the sideline and thinks that he's entitled to date me because he deserves it after a year of friendship. I held back telling him what I thought. He's my friend. No even slightly romantic feelings towards him. Why does he do this. I'm gonna have to frienzone him hard or get rid of him

 

[Maddocks]

Reactivated my account after a month of singledom and getting over the ex. The day i reactivate it I get a bazillion messages from guys. I mean my god. Even those who had a rating of %10 were messaging me. Anyway I started chatting with this one guy and we really hit it off so exchanged numbers on Saturday. Had our first date last night- dinner and a movie- and it was so nice. I had a great time. He messaged me later saying he had a great night and I'm likely seeing him again this weekend.

On the flipside my friend who apparently has a thing for me is getting shitty that I'm not giving him a chance. Apparently he's been waiting on the sideline and thinks that he's entitled to date me because he deserves it after a year of friendship. I held back telling him what I thought. He's my friend. No even slightly romantic feelings towards him. Why does he do this. I'm gonna have to frienzone him hard or get rid of him

going to have to get rid of him. No matter what he will not change his stance. He will lie to you saying he understands and that everything is fine, but if you bring up another guy or say you are dating someone else, you will see his little heart breaking. Time to be honest and give it to him straight because that is the only way you will get through to him. Let him know that just because you have been a friend for a year doesn't mean he has first dibs when single.

 

[Lucian Cat]

going to have to get rid of him. No matter what he will not change his stance. He will lie to you saying he understands and that everything is fine, but if you bring up another guy or say you are dating someone else, you will see his little heart breaking. Time to be honest and give it to him straight because that is the only way you will get through to him. Let him know that just because you have been a friend for a year doesn't mean he has first dibs when single.

Yeah that's what I think I'll have to do. I did tell him that nothing will be happening between us and that I was interested in the guy I had the date with.

This is part of what I said to him "You're my friend. I don't see you as anything more. I'm sorry if that hurts you but I love having you as one of my best friends... I'm not sure what else to say here"

Since then he's been writing passive aggressive statuses on fb. Ugh men are such women sometimes.

 

[Maddocks]

Yeah that's what I think I'll have to do. I did tell him that nothing will be happening between us and that I was interested in the guy I had the date with.

This is part of what I said to him "You're my friend. I don't see you as anything more. I'm sorry if that hurts you but I love having you as one of my best friends... I'm not sure what else to say here"

Since then he's been writing passive aggressive statuses on fb. Ugh men are such women sometimes.

Good thing you told his straight. He will get over it and move on eventually. I know, sad to say it, but I was that guy. I felt I deserved to date a girl who became single only because I knew her longest and because I felt I cared about her more then anyone else.

No doubt if you ever ask about the status updates he will lie and say its from a movie or something someone said randomly. You can be straight with him, but he wont be straight with you because his fear is you will drop him from his life. Insecurity is the root of the problem. If you can put up with it for a couple months, he will stop. That or find him a girl, because right now he views you as the only one hes interested in and is fixated on it. Now that I typed that all out and read it out loud and realizing that I was once like him. Man I was a dumbass lol

 

[GatorBait]

Thoughts on how quickly to get girls out on a date? My opinion has always been, if I'm interested in their profile and the conversation is flowing well over messages, might as well try to meet up as soon as possible. Mainly because 30-60 minutes of an in-person date can tell me so much more about how I will click with a person than countless messages, and frankly, I feel like the longer things stay in the realm of "just messages," the more chances there is for things to fizzle out.

Got a couple of numbers from girls on there that I am really interested in (I'm trying to be pretty selective at this point and only go for the girls I can see dating long-term in both appearance and personality/interests), and I feel like I'm going to need to set up dates with each for sometime within the next week or risk our conversations slowly drying up.

 

[Drahcir]

Reactivated my account after a month of singledom and getting over the ex. The day i reactivate it I get a bazillion messages from guys. I mean my god. Even those who had a rating of %10 were messaging me. Anyway I started chatting with this one guy and we really hit it off so exchanged numbers on Saturday. Had our first date last night- dinner and a movie- and it was so nice. I had a great time. He messaged me later saying he had a great night and I'm likely seeing him again this weekend.

This gives a good perspective on what probably the majority of guys on OKC have to deal with. I imagined it was the case already that the ratio of guys messaging girls was greatly disproportionate to the other way around, but it's still better to try than not I suppose. But knowing that it's not just having a good profile but also the luck of the draw sometimes makes it feel so futile. And this, of course, coming from someone who's had zero luck on the site so far. I'm almost on the brink of giving up.

 

[Oblivion]

Question for the menfolk in this thread. How many women have messaged you first?

I've been on the site for more than a year now (holy shit), and so far I got two. One was some fat chick and the other wasn't...well, entirely female.

 

[Maddocks]

Question for the menfolk in this thread. How many women have messaged you first?

I've been on the site for more than a year now (holy shit), and so far I got two. One was some fat chick and the other wasn't...well, entirely female.

Out of all my time on the site, I can honestly say....4.

2 I went out with once or twice and the other 2 did not lead anywhere.

 

[Lucian Cat]

Good thing you told his straight. He will get over it and move on eventually. I know, sad to say it, but I was that guy. I felt I deserved to date a girl who became single only because I knew her longest and because I felt I cared about her more then anyone else.

No doubt if you ever ask about the status updates he will lie and say its from a movie or something someone said randomly. You can be straight with him, but he wont be straight with you because his fear is you will drop him from his life. Insecurity is the root of the problem. If you can put up with it for a couple months, he will stop. That or find him a girl, because right now he views you as the only one hes interested in and is fixated on it. Now that I typed that all out and read it out loud and realizing that I was once like him. Man I was a dumbass lol

Yeah typing it all out really puts things into perspective hey. And that basically sums him up too. If I had a single friend to set him up with I would. He'd probably scare them off though with his anime and kawaii crap. It's not attractive to some of us!

This gives a good perspective on what probably the majority of guys on OKC have to deal with. I imagined it was the case already that the ratio of guys messaging girls was greatly disproportionate to the other way around, but it's still better to try than not I suppose. But knowing that it's not just having a good profile but also the luck of the draw sometimes makes it feel so futile. And this, of course, coming from someone who's had zero luck on the site so far. I'm almost on the brink of giving up.

I haven't really looked at the female side in my area but it really surprised me tbh the sheer amount of people that messaged me in a matter of 2-3 days.

If you're having no luck on the site maybe try meeting people out in public? I'm shy as hell though so that wasn't really an option for me. I suspect many people would be the same

 

[DiscoJer]

Question for the menfolk in this thread. How many women have messaged you first?

I've been on the site for more than a year now (holy shit), and so far I got two. One was some fat chick and the other wasn't...well, entirely female.

I have been on the site 7 1/3 years. I have had maybe 6 women message me. Actually had 2 this year, after zero last year.. One lives150 miles away and was apparently in a hospital recovering from a car crash (so more bored than wanting to date), and the other only dated tall black guys according to her profile (I am white and 2 inches shorter than what she considered tall).

Twice I've gotten messages that were simply "Hi". I replied to both, one got no reply, the other one got a reply of "I'm not sure why I emailed you".

And there was a grandmother of many that sent me erotic poetry - her profile said 40-something, but I think she was closer to 60-something.

And one was from France, I talked to her for a while, but nothing ever happened, since she was in France...

I think to a certain degree, if you are a guy, you are always going to be disappointed when a woman messages you, because if you had any interest in them, you probably would have emailed them first.

 

[Kilrogg]

Question for the menfolk in this thread. How many women have messaged you first?

I've been on the site for more than a year now (holy shit), and so far I got two. One was some fat chick and the other wasn't...well, entirely female.

3 I think (I've been on this site for a few years, I might add). One was a Japanese woman (older than me) while I was studying in Japan asking to meet. One in my country who just said she found me interesting or something (I never replied for whatever reason). Last one was a few days ago, she reacted to one of my personality questions because she found my answer interesting. I replied to her, but she never replied back. My message must have bored her for some reason.

Needless to say I do most of the messaging, and I rarely get replies. Meh.

 

[Drahcir]

Yeah typing it all out really puts things into perspective hey. And that basically sums him up too. If I had a single friend to set him up with I would. He'd probably scare them off though with his anime and kawaii crap. It's not attractive to some of us!



I haven't really looked at the female side in my area but it really surprised me tbh the sheer amount of people that messaged me in a matter of 2-3 days.

If you're having no luck on the site maybe try meeting people out in public? I'm shy as hell though so that wasn't really an option for me. I suspect many people would be the same

Trying to meet people in my daily life has been just as difficult. That's kind of why I wanted to try OKC in the first place. I'm not shy about asking a girl I like out, but none have turned into anything more or I get hurt in the end. Unfortunately, I'm the type that takes disappointments pretty hard.