peteykirch
Member
What Christianity is an organized religion...you can't be strongly into one, and disagree with it.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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What Christianity is an organized religion...you can't be strongly into one, and disagree with it.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
She likely believes in God and Jesus's shit, but she doesn't agree with organized Christianity. It's a pretty common belief.
Ethics Gradient
Member
Anyone want to critique my profile? Haven't been having much luck lately. http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Avyre
Most of my messages are similar to this depending on her interests: "Hey, my name's Ian! So what kind of music are you into? Seen any good concerts lately? Been a while for me but I'm thinking of seeing Charli XCX later this month."
I would condense your profile a bit. Even if you're a wildly interesting person, most people don't have the time to read that much. "Less is more". Also, have a friend snap a couple of pictures of you outside of the home with an interesting background. Use the okcupid.com/mybestface to get an idea of what your best pictures are. Profit!
God Dayumm
Banned
Can we talk about other dating sites here? I recently created a profile on match.com lol and the girls are all quite pretty and above my league. Is it legit? I already winked at 3 for now.
beanman25
Member
"When I read your messages I feel a rush of happiness slowly transcend through me. Talking to you feel very right. I can't explain it any more than that. Just feels right."
Been talking to this girl who just like me is a fan of rap music, video games, and sports.
We are allegedly going out this week.
Been talking to this girl who just like me is a fan of rap music, video games, and sports.
We are allegedly going out this week.
Messaged this girl 2 weeks ago about Downton Abbey, asking if season 4 is worth it cause I found episodes 1 and 2 boring. Admittedly not too original, but short and straightforward enough.
Today she finally answered: "It get's better!" (typo included)
What's the point?
Today she finally answered: "It get's better!" (typo included)
What's the point?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
I feel like people who don't know how to fucking communicate on these things like that should be moderated off the site.
Confused101
Member
I ended a message with a GAF classic a few weeks ago. I wrote a very quick note but I mentioned that I really liked her profile and that we seemed to have some things in common. I ended the message with asking if she preferred pizza or sushi.
Her answer a few weeks later: "Pizza"
What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Sure she answered the question, but why bother if you're not going to ask a question back or really say anything else at all? I think I'm just frustrated.
Her answer a few weeks later: "Pizza"
What the hell am I supposed to do with that? Sure she answered the question, but why bother if you're not going to ask a question back or really say anything else at all? I think I'm just frustrated.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Well the idea is you now ask her out to a pizza place.
In retrospect I don't even know why I messaged her in the first place: she doesn't like intellectual conversations, she thinks people should be taught evolution and creationism in school, that abortion isn't a solution (and unsurprisingly, she's a conservative)... Clearly not my kind of girl, apart from being fairly cute I guess.
As an aside, am I the only one who dares answer "no" to "Are you happy with your life?", or am I just a sorry dude in a sea of happy people? I mean, I explain that I'm content if not happy yet - which got me a curious message from a girl once -, but I've never seen a single girl saying she wasn't happy. What's the deal with that?
Confused101
Member
I'm going to take a guess that they probably think we wouldn't want to date someone who was unhappy with their life. Granted, the very thing that might be making them unhappy is because they have no one to share their life with, but if it's the only thing bringing them down, why say so? I can safely say that it's the only aspect of my life that I'm unhappy about. Everything else is peachy keen. So yes, I'm happy with my life except for the fact that I don't have someone.
Anyway, a very good friend of mine once told me that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. Perhaps that has something to do with it as well.
Ugh. I can't stand shit like this. Human beings are social animals. Being in relationships is vital to our well being. In my experience they act like a sort of self-esteem boost. It's kind of natural to not feel happy when you don't have that. Obviously being in a relationship won't make you happy all by itself, but it definitely helps.
I'm not implying that people who are single are obviously not happy. That's not why I answered 'no' to the question either. I'm just saying being happy can't be so easy that everyone answers 'yes'.
stn
Member
You can love someone else even if you don't love yourself, but you will probably also deal with it much worse if the relationship ends. Not to mention some people who are miserable get into relationships for the wrong reasons. There have been some people in this very thread, for example, who I would tell to go seek themselves out before they get into a relationship.
Confused101
Member
Ah, I getcha. And I agree. I think I've only seen 1 girl that answered no to that question but I never really put much thought into why -everyone- answers yes.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Messaged someone. She replied saying "Stop being so boring."
I guess there's something wrong with me then.
I guess there's something wrong with me then.
stn
Member
Honestly, don't even reply to her. She's obviously bitter about her own life and trying to illicit some kind of emotional response out of you. Just block her and move on.
Perspicacity
Banned
Well what was the boring message you sent her?
forknknife
Banned
What an asshole, fuck her.
would you mind sharing what your opening message was?
and yes, she sounds like a major asshole.
Cow Mengde
Banned
I'll post it when I get home.
I'm not too upset, but it wouldn't hurt to get some thoughts from you guys. Like I said, I'm at work so can't link to it.
I have been having a good streak recently, but some thoughts from fellow Gaffers wouldn't hurt.
I'm not too upset, but it wouldn't hurt to get some thoughts from you guys. Like I said, I'm at work so can't link to it.
I have been having a good streak recently, but some thoughts from fellow Gaffers wouldn't hurt.
In my experience the girls who call other people on the site boring (usually in their profiles) are incredibly boring themselves. Don't sweat it broheim.
It could actually be well-meaning advice. The tone might not have come across through text very well.Honestly, don't even reply to her. She's obviously bitter about her own life and trying to illicit some kind of emotional response out of you. Just block her and move on.
I certainly wouldn't take it as a reflection of your life though. At most it's a single person's suggestion on how to craft a message or a profile.
Or they could just be a jerk.
Cow Mengde
Banned
I'm not taking it harshly or anything, but it did make me rethink my profile is all.
BTW, here's the full context.
She mentions loving movie trailers. So I sent something along the lines of did she ever love a trailer but end up hating the actual movie. Her reply was stop being so boring.
BTW, here's the full context.
She mentions loving movie trailers. So I sent something along the lines of did she ever love a trailer but end up hating the actual movie. Her reply was stop being so boring.
forknknife
Banned
Ok, that's really boring.
Nah, just kidding, even if it was, nobody responds in that way unless you want to hurt the other person.
Perspicacity
Banned
I dunno. At worst she was being dismissive and rude. At best she saw some potential but was turned off by the message or profile seeming boring and dropped tact in favour of getting the message across.
So many profiles are dull and dry so it's not like she's really doing a disservice by telling you step it up.
So many profiles are dull and dry so it's not like she's really doing a disservice by telling you step it up.
Cow Mengde
Banned
I know, that's why I'm gonna post it later to have it critiqued here. I really just took the comment as a critique on my profile and use it as a chance to make it better.
stn
Member
@Cow Mengde
Seriously, screw her. Your question was actually interesting. Point is, there are tons of stuck-up people who go online and feel entitled to some life-altering message from person that messages them. Apparently they need to be entertained and amazed just to respond to you. Do you know what I say? Fuck them.
If a girl messages me some shit like "Hi" and has it in her profile that she doesn't reply to "Hi", I don't reply to her, lol. If I see in a girls profile that she's all demanding and wants a "tall, hot, handsome, rich, educated" guy, I also won't respond. Its funny because most people tell me I'm tall, handsome, and educated (not rich, sadly), but I don't like to be some guy who just fulfills someone else's needs. I don't go writing that I want a tall girl with a big ass and breasts, for example.
Point is, its just online dating. The only girls being stuck up about that shit are the ones who have too much pride to even admit they're online. Don't change your ways just to please people, even online.
Seriously, screw her. Your question was actually interesting. Point is, there are tons of stuck-up people who go online and feel entitled to some life-altering message from person that messages them. Apparently they need to be entertained and amazed just to respond to you. Do you know what I say? Fuck them.
If a girl messages me some shit like "Hi" and has it in her profile that she doesn't reply to "Hi", I don't reply to her, lol. If I see in a girls profile that she's all demanding and wants a "tall, hot, handsome, rich, educated" guy, I also won't respond. Its funny because most people tell me I'm tall, handsome, and educated (not rich, sadly), but I don't like to be some guy who just fulfills someone else's needs. I don't go writing that I want a tall girl with a big ass and breasts, for example.
Point is, its just online dating. The only girls being stuck up about that shit are the ones who have too much pride to even admit they're online. Don't change your ways just to please people, even online.
That's actually a pretty great conversation starter. What a cunt.
Maddocks
Member
Wouldn't worry about being told your profile is boring or you are a boring person. You wouldn't want and probably cant stand that person in person.
you have to be you, sometimes less is more and sometimes more is better. play to your strengths and toss out the negatives. I gladly put in my profile that I play video games and like silly stuff, because that is who I am. Can't be ashamed by the hobbies you enjoy, while it might not look good, there is a person out there who likes the same thing and that's the person you want.
Being a mod sucks at times because its so boring, mod 3 pictures OK THANKS!.....then its blank for 4 seconds and repeat. Sometimes the things that are flagged are silly, like a picture will be be dark, so a person flagged it as "NOT IN THE PICTURE!"
you have to be you, sometimes less is more and sometimes more is better. play to your strengths and toss out the negatives. I gladly put in my profile that I play video games and like silly stuff, because that is who I am. Can't be ashamed by the hobbies you enjoy, while it might not look good, there is a person out there who likes the same thing and that's the person you want.
Being a mod sucks at times because its so boring, mod 3 pictures OK THANKS!.....then its blank for 4 seconds and repeat. Sometimes the things that are flagged are silly, like a picture will be be dark, so a person flagged it as "NOT IN THE PICTURE!"
Cow Mengde
Banned
So here it is, is my profile poorly written? What got me wasn't that she thinks I'm boring. There's NO WAY I can be the right guy for every woman. What got me thinking was that I have been getting some views recently, but no one would message me.
Quote to see profile.
To me, this is kind of fun, just trying to come up with ways to get girls to talk to you.
God Dayumm
Banned
Ok guys, I need a crash course on siamese twins because I think I just sent an insensitive message to someone who may actually be one, asking which one of the two girls in her two photos she is or if she is a siamese or if they like to share. In both photos they are like hugging side by side but I see no arms in their backs, as if they were conjoined by the shoulder. They look kinda different tho, specially their bodies. One is average, the other is curvy. I'm an asshole and ruined it for someone "(
Edit: I rated them 5 stars in the hopes that boosts their confidence a bit
Edit: I rated them 5 stars in the hopes that boosts their confidence a bit
Cow Mengde
Banned
God Dayumm
Confused101
Member
I'm definitely not authority on what makes a good profile (mine is way too wordy but I love to type), however, I thought yours was great. Rated you 5 stars also. That girl was just a bitch and that's that.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Thanks dude. As long as it was an interesting read, I'll keep it as it is.
This kind of thing drives me INSANE. I presume they are at least somewhat interested since they responded (I'd rather them not respond at all if they weren't), but they make ZERO effort to either expound on themselves, get to know me, or find some common ground to discuss. They will however continue to write back very short, close-ended responses to anything I write them.
I feel like I need to just ask one of these people out for a drink to see if they really are as boring in real life as they are through text.
I actually called one girl out on her short responses today telling her it seemed like she wasn't really interested and I didn't want to waste our time. She actually responded to it and explained herself, so I guess I'll see if she continues chatting with me and if she'll put in a little more effort.
Confused101
Member
I probably should've done that with "Pizza" girl but oh well. Hopefully that works out for you!
I don't remember if I ever actually posted in this thread...maybe I did, maybe I just meant to and kept forgetting.
Anyways, although the discussion has moved way beyond the subject by now, I thought I'd just share my experiences. I guess just add it to the large pile of anecdotal evidence that okcupid can work.
Many years ago I signed up for okcupid and within a very short period of time, met someone to just have casual sex with. A few weeks later it happened again. Then I met a girl who I dated for several months. All of this within a short period of time. I shut my account off when I started a serious relationship with someone I didn't meet on okcupid. But opened it up again a few months ago and within a week had several date offers and one offer of no strings attached sex. I ended up closing the account again before I could do anything with those offers though. I had other priorities at the time.
So basically, it works. Give it a try. I didn't initiate a single contact the whole time, just let girls message me first, and I still got plenty of messages sent to me and had some real world successes. That said, my friend uses okcupid and aggressively sends multiple messages every week to at least a dozen different girls and ends up with far more interested parties than I do. So if you really want it to work, it's probably best not to be a lazy fuck like me who just relies on being decent looking to get interest.
Anyways, although the discussion has moved way beyond the subject by now, I thought I'd just share my experiences. I guess just add it to the large pile of anecdotal evidence that okcupid can work.
Many years ago I signed up for okcupid and within a very short period of time, met someone to just have casual sex with. A few weeks later it happened again. Then I met a girl who I dated for several months. All of this within a short period of time. I shut my account off when I started a serious relationship with someone I didn't meet on okcupid. But opened it up again a few months ago and within a week had several date offers and one offer of no strings attached sex. I ended up closing the account again before I could do anything with those offers though. I had other priorities at the time.
So basically, it works. Give it a try. I didn't initiate a single contact the whole time, just let girls message me first, and I still got plenty of messages sent to me and had some real world successes. That said, my friend uses okcupid and aggressively sends multiple messages every week to at least a dozen different girls and ends up with far more interested parties than I do. So if you really want it to work, it's probably best not to be a lazy fuck like me who just relies on being decent looking to get interest.
Does this happen to anyone else here? It's pretty easy to get a girl's number, but then I just turn into a pussy who's actually nervous to meet in person. I had over 1000 messages back and forth with this girl who wanted to see me badly but I kept making excuses. Makes absolutely no sense since that's the purpose of this site! Lol
It's usually the other way around for me. I'd say only about half of the numbers I get end up dates, maybe even less than that. Most girls on dating sites are flaky as shit even though they apparently like you enough to give you their number. Maybe this is just a problem with my age bracket but it's really annoying. I find older girls are usually way less hesitant about meeting.
Cow Mengde
Banned
BTW, how does the quick match thing work? People say they can figure out who rated you highly using quick match, but I never figured out how.
How the fuck does this even happen? Am I just that fucking ugly?
DiscoJer
Member
Well, sometimes you can simply see who looked at your profile at the time you got the rating.
But also in the mobile app, it tells you the age, location, and match percentage of people who rated you highly. Not too hard to figure out who it is with that information.
Cow Mengde
Banned
You don't need to be A list to see this info on the mobile app?
Confused101
Member
Don't worry man, I totally agree with you. I feel like that on a regular basis.
I know I write good messages because I get a lot of visitors and they are interested in getting a better look at who wrote them. It's extremely rare that someone actually writes back. It feels like they check out my pictures and say, "NOPE". Why else would they not respond? We're a 93% match and into mostly the same kind of stuff. Yeah, feels bad man.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Just noticed a woman I was interested in is seeing someone. Oh well, she seems fun so maybe we can be friends.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Because they're interested in someone else or they're overwhelmed with options.
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