Are you a guy or a girl?
Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
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I'm a dude.
Girls will rarely message first so it doesn't mean anything if they visit but don't message you. Sometimes visiting is a good sign since girls are often on anon and won't leave a visit unless they're interested. But as a guy you almost always have to message first, unless you're a complete stud. Find something in the profile and ask a question, traveling is usually a good topic.
You gotta remember these girls probably goes through dozens of messages a day if not more. I don't blame them for not getting a message back to me soon. And yeah as mentioned above, girls will almost never message first.
Having said that, I just had an amazing chat with a girl that messages me first. Chatted all day and got her number so color me surprise that it can happen. First time I had a girl message me though after all this time so it's hella rare lol.
I'd probably get rid of the mirror pics. I think mirror pics and selfies are generally a huge no-no unless you're completely ripped. If you want to show off your body it'd be better if you had pics of you at the beach with friends or something. The first three pics are good
Ask questions that are easy and quick to answer. The easier to respond, the more likely to get a response. I've been doing the asking 'dumb' questions for a while now and it's worked out for me pretty well. If they wanna know more about you they'll read your profile.
Demon Lizardman
Banned
Some girls contacted me but unfortunately, I am not attracted to them. Should I turn them down?
If you want to hook up, then its a good thing. Its a bad thing in the sense that - at least in my experience - it means you were the second choice, or even more likely, they just got dumped/shunned by someone else and need a self-esteem boost. Whether or not that matters is up to you.
Maddocks
Member
you have to think, if you sent a message out and they didn't like you, would you rather be ignored or at least get a reply back explaining why?
Personally, I vote for gives a reason why, only because I hate being ignored, so I would hate to ignore someone else all because I'm worried I would get a cuss filled message back about how I am a terrible person. Which chances are they will read it and not reply back anyway.
As for sending messages to people, don't fear it, like the great one said,"you miss 100% of the shots you don't take" You have to be willing to put yourself out there, you already made the profile and filled it out, no need to be worried about sending messages. At one time I was sending 15-25 messages a day to people. So don't worry about it and just go for it!
Demon Lizardman
Banned
Just contacted a cute girl and now we are having a conversation. Wish me luck Gaffers!
Demon Lizardman
Banned
Actually, false alarm, I curiously searched the one and only picture she had of her on google and found that it might be fake.
This is the picture
http://img.izismile.com/img/img5/20121105/640/there_are_beautiful_girls_here_part_12_640_12.jpg
This is the picture
http://img.izismile.com/img/img5/20121105/640/there_are_beautiful_girls_here_part_12_640_12.jpg
Perspicacity
Banned
Pretty good. I might find a better face pic - not that you don't look good in it, but maybe one with you smiling would be better. The other two pics are good. I might put long-term dating down too, even if it's not your focus.
Demon Lizardman
Banned
Perspicacity
Banned
Thanks, I've switched the two photos around. I have trouble smiling in photos, need to step my selfie game up or whatever.
I would say I think though I get the sense that your answers comes with a dry sense of humor, most people will just think you're a stiff instead. Try to make it more obvious you're kidding around or be more playful with your answers maybe?
So I got one date lined up and the other takes some convincing but she didn't shoot down the idea when I asked her on a date. She's drunk texting me right now so I'll probably ask her again whenever she's sober lol. We'll see how it goes. Gimme any suggestions on improving my profile too. Same name as on GAF.
Demon Lizardman
Banned
Also, how is Plenty of Fish, that site worth looking at?
Spider from Mars
tap that thorax
Not enough talk about wrestling or anime
theechrisfox
Member
My best friend met his girl on PoF, so I gave it a shot. I dated a girl that I met there for about a month but it ended quite poorly. Fast forward three years and my friend is now engaged to the girl he met there, the wedding is in August. So my empirical personal experience on there is you will either meet a terrible girl or a wife material. Good luck.
POF is basically the Walmart of internet dating, which I guess means OKC is Target.
Demon Lizardman
Banned
I might give it a shot and see how it goes.
Maddocks
Member
MIght as well, its better to have many options then only one option.
Demon Lizardman
Banned
Do the same rules apply in messaging girls?
stn
Member
^ You're thinking too much into it. Just send a witty/corny/playful joke as your opener. If the girl likes your pic, she'll reply. Most guys send shit like "hey i wanna fuck u" and stuff like that so standards are pretty low. Be polite, use proper grammar - you're already better than most of the guys on there.
POF tends to have trashier people in general - lots of people from the lower class, unemployed, or in dead end jobs. OKC has lots of those too but to a lesser extent - OKC has more hipsters and grad students, some working professionals. That's how it is in my area, at least - a major metro. Might be different in other places. Match.com probably has the highest quality in that regard, and might be the whole foods, if there was one.
Perspicacity
Banned
I don't know any anime, they find out about the wrestling when I show up in wrestling t-shirt.
Maddocks
Member
Just message how many people you find attractive. That way should never limit yourself on purpose because you are in a negative mindset of,"well she would never reply to me" or "I might be sending out to many messages" you need to toss out a big ol net for online dating because a good amount will just ignore your messages.
One day set up a female account and put a random google image, and watch how many messages you get. it will be a lot and more then half just saying "fuck me" and then you will get the random message from the guy with zero confidence saying he has no chance in hell but took a chance.
Don't be that no confidence person. Don't be the bunny, be the bear. ooze confidence whenever you can, even if its online.
Yeah and part of oozing confidence is never flattering the girl, because like Maddocks says she'll be getting that in every message and you're putting her on a pedestal. I never mention anything about a girl's looks online, or even when I start dating initially.
Transferring the confidence from online to real life is the trickier part, which I've stumbled at many times
so I'm new to online dating and everything, and i know this is an OKcupid thread, but i just started a match.com account ... I'm already getiing winks and "favorites" by attractive girls, but all of them are from out of state or hours and hours away from me... is this common? the profiles seem legit, so assuming they are I find this really odd. especially since i explicitly stated i don't want anybody contacting me unless they're within half an hour away in driving distance
Maddocks
Member
I believe match will blanket their site with new members. Which means they will show you to everyone and anyone who will look. They want you to get hits and winks and favorites because they want you to return to the site. If you got zero winks and no favorites they assume you would never return because its a moral breaker.
Now that you have winks and favorites, your feeling good about yourself, your confident about it and you will return to the site. After a month I believe they stop doing that and they assume going to their site is now a habit and not a fad.
God Dayumm
Banned
I got a few more likes and views from match after changing my body type to athletic. Still no success tho
So this app has been weird for me. Over the weekend, I was constantly getting notifications of Likes but the rest of the week thus far I'm hardly getting any. I don't know if this has to do with more activity on the weekends which is logical. Actually, what isn't logical was the spike of Likes I was getting in the first place! I didn't really change my profile so I can't explain it lol.
Things are progressing amazingly with this one girl. We've been texting each other nonstop and exchanged some more photos and still found each other attractive. Same interest, same sense of humor. It's almost too good right now. She was even the aggressor and asked me out lol. I just hope meeting in person doesn't change anything. I can't say my dates with people on OKC has been stellar. We'll see how it goes Friday.
Things are progressing amazingly with this one girl. We've been texting each other nonstop and exchanged some more photos and still found each other attractive. Same interest, same sense of humor. It's almost too good right now. She was even the aggressor and asked me out lol. I just hope meeting in person doesn't change anything. I can't say my dates with people on OKC has been stellar. We'll see how it goes Friday.
Maddocks
Member
Depends on what you are looking for. Do you just want to date her to get sex to say you did a mother? or are you looking for a relationship? If you don't mind that she is a single mother then go for it. If her having a kid bothers you and think it will effect your long term goal, then drop it and move on.
Starting using this and tonight I actually got a conversation going and told a girl to call me or add me on ig which she gladly agreed to. But damn I swear I'm 23 and I keep seeing girls on okcupid, tinder etc with pics and info about how much they've traveled and I'm like wtf?!. I've not even hit double digits on states or countries visited and some younger or my age have been around the world already 
.
.I'm back in the online dating scene reluctantly. A girl I met through Tinder and dated for three
months just ended it and I know I need to get back on the horse or I'll just nope around. I've had pretty good luck with OKcupid and Tinder so those are back on my phone lol.
I'd really appreciate it if someone checked my OKC profile and let me know their thoughts. Please PM and I'll send you a link.
months just ended it and I know I need to get back on the horse or I'll just nope around. I've had pretty good luck with OKcupid and Tinder so those are back on my phone lol.
I'd really appreciate it if someone checked my OKC profile and let me know their thoughts. Please PM and I'll send you a link.
So I made a profile the other day and there are a couple of girls that I find interesting but I'm way overthinking how to approach them.
I get that it's good to talk about common interests and such but do I just ask about them straight away? Or do I introduce myself?
It's hard to find a natural topic of conversation when there is a bunch of info on profiles and such. A little help would be appreciated.
I get that it's good to talk about common interests and such but do I just ask about them straight away? Or do I introduce myself?
It's hard to find a natural topic of conversation when there is a bunch of info on profiles and such. A little help would be appreciated.
megamerican
Member
I wouldn't let it deter you. I've found that things tend to move quicker with single moms. I guess it depends on what you're looking for though.
Don't agonize over any first message. The best results seem to be from asking some type of goofy question. Don't overthink it.
Apparently, you have regular success so tell us what you're doing right instead lol!
Tbh you already sound too invested in someone you havent met. Keep communication and expectations at the bare minimum until you actually meet the girl
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