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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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Just came across a profile that started with "I'm a boring self-centered cunt". Wow, can't wait to message her!
Ah, since last july. I just it as just july. Still 20 dates isn't bad at all!
That's online dating for you! Victory by numbers. Keep on trying. Remember, they get a lot of messages so peak their interest. Hell, ask them something COMPLETELY random.
Ah, since last july. I just it as just july. Still 20 dates isn't bad at all!
Oh I have, a handful, apparently no one wants to talk to me.
That's online dating for you! Victory by numbers. Keep on trying. Remember, they get a lot of messages so peak their interest. Hell, ask them something COMPLETELY random.
Yeah I definitely chose my words poorly, I agree with you there. ianp is clearly very touchy about it though, with his mom's condition. Saying I need to get out more made no sense. I could argue that I've known family members who required wheelchairs, but I don't think it makes a difference.
I'm not taking it personally, don't worry about it.
It's good she put it in her profile. One of my first dates was with a girl who had some sort of condition where she had to wear hearing aids and was pretty much going blind. I would've liked some sort of heads up before hand. Would've planned my date accordingly. We went to Fuerza Bruta which is a show where you stand the whole time and it's pretty dark. Spent half the date ushering her around making sure no one knocked her over.
Then I eventually find out (later on in the date) that she's only going to get worse. So yea, good on her for being upfront about it.
Perspicacity
Banned
You were pretty directly insinuating that they shouldn't be looking for relationships or that at least they shouldn't kid themselves into thinking they can date you. You were listing off things you've disliked about the people who have contacted you and it would have been bad enough if you'd listed her solely based on being in a wheelchair, but instead you specifically targeted her as being the worst, because of the wheelchair.
Suppose for a second you had said "...and one was black. Seriously." and you may be able to understand the issue.
EDIT: Beaten a few times.
Deadly Cyclone
Pride of Iowa State
Oh, I will keep at it for sure. It is a bit fun to see how random you can be to grab attention. Added a new picture today of a thinner me, maybe that will help.
shindoku21
Member
Going back to my first date a couple of days ago, since we agreed we had nothing in common we decided to put anything out on the table to discuss. She told me she had social anxiety and severe depression that she has to take meds daily and meet with a psychiatrist monthly. I think something like this can't go dismissed if you're putting yourself out there. It gave me a false impression, as she sounds completely normal through texts and messages, but in reality since she suffers from social anxiety, it's so hard to communicate with her.
I realized how crappy my profile picture is but I still get responses and a few messages from girls. Guess my silly profile makes up for that. I was thinking about deliberately putting a picture of me when I was fat (lost ~30lbs this past year), haha.
Also on the subject of running out of things to say (in person or online): I feel like you can discuss anything. I have friends who I consider more social than me and I notice they ramble about stupid shit that I should have no interest in, but the fact that they sound interested in it and hype it up, I continue listening to them and find myself half-interested. Of course you have to have a feel for the person you're talking to as well. I can ramble on about video games but that's not going to interest someone hates or has no interest in video games. Go through hobbies. You'll find something and bridge from there. Unless your date is giving you absolutely nothing (like my first date I just mentioned), then it shouldn't be that bad.
One topic to stay away from initially is sex, unless you're really sure about it or if the setting presents itself.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Be interesting to hear where you guys are from. As the experiences on here seem to be quite varied.
Its not the norm for girls to be messaging guys right? There must be something wrong with them. That or you guys all look like Brad Pitt.
Its not the norm for girls to be messaging guys right? There must be something wrong with them. That or you guys all look like Brad Pitt.
Zomba13
Member
Be interesting to hear where you guys are from. As the experiences on here seem to be quite varied.
Its not the norm for girls to be messaging guys right? There must be something wrong with them. That or you guys all look like Brad Pitt.
South Wales here. There aren't a lot of people within a reasonable distance from me
Yea you're right.
She wanted to go out with me tonight but I said tomorrow night instead, though I'm a bit nervous, cause on her Facebook, I see she is friends with my ex-girlfriend's brother (and we didn't get along that well, in fact it ended with me and my ex-gf and her brothers hating each other 3 years ago).
And what can one do at night (around 20-21 I guess)? Go for a walk? At the water? What else?
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
Playing the waiting game in terms of communication at the min, I think she's expecting me to holla first today
Gonna hold tight and carry on studying, not a biggie if she doesn't hear from me tonight, althought we were meant to be going out again tomorrow....
Lol
Gonna hold tight and carry on studying, not a biggie if she doesn't hear from me tonight, althought we were meant to be going out again tomorrow....
Lol
Zomba13
Member
But that sounds like fun!
You don't like having fun? Damn.
Be interesting to hear where you guys are from. As the experiences on here seem to be quite varied.
Its not the norm for girls to be messaging guys right? There must be something wrong with them. That or you guys all look like Brad Pitt.
NYC. I imagine my experience is much different than most. It's such a clusterfuck.
Atramental
Banned
Take a deep breath and swallow your fear.
If you don't go through with this you're going to have to deal with the pain of regret for not going out, which is a much longer lasting pain.
Yea I'll go. She keeps SMSing me here at night. She keeps saying im cute and calls me sweety. :/
Alright I'll go to the bar, I have just never tried it (cause of social anxiety and depression for some years but I'm over that now) but I'll jump into it. Seriously I have not been on OKC for long and already going out, woah.
Alright I'll go to the bar, I have just never tried it (cause of social anxiety and depression for some years but I'm over that now) but I'll jump into it. Seriously I have not been on OKC for long and already going out, woah.
You've never been man, so you might enjoy it!
I never thought they'd appeal to me either when I was younger, but it's good fun.
Zomba13
Member
njean777
Member
Just send her a message like "hope you had a good day, cannot wait to see you tomorrow". Just so she knows that you remember. Its not overly flirtatious and will make her think of you. I wouldn't say anything after that if she messages back. Unless it pertains to the date of course.
Atramental
Banned
I'm glad you're going, Anastacio.
And if you start feeling anxious while you're there just take deep breaths. A nice amount of oxygen in your system can do wonders for your state of mind.
And if you start feeling anxious while you're there just take deep breaths. A nice amount of oxygen in your system can do wonders for your state of mind.
I'm gonna drink a beer or two, maybe a bottle of Tequila or Rom lol.
But I'm up for some fun even if I'm nervous.
I just start pressuring myself already, thinking that I have to make her laugh every minute with no silence. But I know it's a ridiculous thought that will only make me fail.
EDIT
Alright she asked me what I'm looking for at a dating site and she herself would like a boyfriend and just suggested me and her lol. It was meant as a funny line but I think I know where she is trying to go with this.
But I'm up for some fun even if I'm nervous.
I just start pressuring myself already, thinking that I have to make her laugh every minute with no silence. But I know it's a ridiculous thought that will only make me fail.
EDIT
Alright she asked me what I'm looking for at a dating site and she herself would like a boyfriend and just suggested me and her lol. It was meant as a funny line but I think I know where she is trying to go with this.
Zomba13
Member
I'm gonna drink a beer or two, maybe a bottle of Tequila or Rom lol.
But I'm up for some fun even if I'm nervous.
I just start pressuring myself already, thinking that I have to make her laugh every minute with no silence. But I know it's a ridiculous thought that will only make me fail.
EDIT
Alright she asked me what I'm looking for at a dating site and she herself would like a boyfriend and just suggested me and her lol. It was meant as a funny line but I think I know where she is trying to go with this.
Get in there
!shindoku21
Member
Self fulfilling prophecy! Think happy thoughts!
RedAssedApe
Banned
Think of it this way...even if it turns out to be a disaster...you'll get a good story out of it that you can share with GAF (or any other potential dates in the future). Take one for the team!
Zomba13
Member
So finally managed to chat a bit with this girl on skype but she was doing uni work at the same time but said she didn't mind chatting too. I decided to look through the 'The Two Of Us' section (we have a 90% match if that really means anything) and it's shocking how many answers are the same as mine lol. She's also 'Totally willing' to meet up with someone met there so I think I'll ask her tomorrow if she wants to meet up some time.
Mecha_Infantry
Banned
Good advice.
Wish I didn't fall asleep and wake up at 2am. I'll give her a shout in the morning
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
So, just viewed a profile with a completely naked chick as one of her photos.
Stay classy, Okcupid.
Stay classy, Okcupid.
I tried this shit for a while but it just doesn't have the results for my local. Currently in Syria and all i'm getting is hot girls from Israel.... yeah, that's not just gonna happen.
Literally 1 person in the same country and their profile pic doesn't even show their face. Great!
Literally 1 person in the same country and their profile pic doesn't even show their face. Great!
I'm just gonna be sending this as a message out from now on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfa_iSNvRUE
Alert Devo! But send me a link first.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfa_iSNvRUE
Alert Devo! But send me a link first.
Zomba13
Member
>.< And I thought it was bad around my area.
You will probably get more messages than me.
I'm thinking a nice bar could be a great place to go the first time? I found one with billiards, pool, cards, table soccer, dart and there's even a big screen for Champions League football. What ya think?
Alright, this girl wasn't much for it the first time and is at her friends place asked if I wanna come there.
What do I do now? I don't want to go to a place were everyone knows each other and at a house I have never been at.
Help me out urgently. She's waiting for my reply and I don't know what to say lol.
Could I tell her straight that I prefer we go out on a first-time date?
Alright, this girl wasn't much for it the first time and is at her friends place asked if I wanna come there.
What do I do now? I don't want to go to a place were everyone knows each other and at a house I have never been at.
Help me out urgently. She's waiting for my reply and I don't know what to say lol.
Could I tell her straight that I prefer we go out on a first-time date?
Yeesh. That's a tough one. I personally wouldn't go because that's a bit of a strange situation. You don't know anyone really (including her) and you probably won't get much alone time with her. I imagine you'll also be stuck in a situation where they are all talking with each other and all you can really do is sit somewhere and chuckle at some of the things they say. Not to mention her friends could be horrid.
I'd probably go because I'm comfortable in most social situations but I can see how that can go terribly wrong. Actually no I wouldn't go. That's a terrible option for a first meeting.
Tell her no but dress it up a bit. I'm not gonna tell you how as I don't want my direct advice to ruin your chances with her. I almost wanna say go... but I mostly don't.
I feel involved now.
I wrote her this:
Did that come off as polite or impolite?
EDIT
She just replied: "ohh okay. See u later then. Hehe"
I'm confused as to what kind of relation she want now lol.
And I really think the bar stuff were a good idea so we have something to do if the conversation turns awkward.
"I would rather that the two of us go out so we get to know each other first and then I can eventually come with you to your friends places later on when we know each other. Though, I am very thankful for your invitation to join NAME.
Did that come off as polite or impolite?
EDIT
She just replied: "ohh okay. See u later then. Hehe"
I'm confused as to what kind of relation she want now lol.
And I really think the bar stuff were a good idea so we have something to do if the conversation turns awkward.
I say go but hold a 'get out of jail' card that you can pull out whenever (if) things get weird. You've got nothing to lose.
[edit] beaten, yeah that sounds fine but depending on how she responds, just bite the dust and go there.
Don't you think she wants to be with her friend to make sure you're not a creep/freak who's dangerous or something? That would be my thought process if I were a female okc'ing, but who knows.
[edit] beaten, yeah that sounds fine but depending on how she responds, just bite the dust and go there.
Don't you think she wants to be with her friend to make sure you're not a creep/freak who's dangerous or something? That would be my thought process if I were a female okc'ing, but who knows.
shindoku21
Member
Just using you words... go along that jist.
I found a really nice girl on okc last night. We were sending messages back and forth and exchanged numbers. I was convincing her that she visit my area so I can show her around and she was totally interested. She insisted to skype so I gave in. It was ok for a few minutes but I was tired after working out so I couldn't really project my voice. And I looked like a 12yo without my hair done and bad lighting/quality on webcam, haha. Then her skype crashed. She texted me she was trying to fix it but then nothing ever happened. I texted her that we skype tomorrow or just call me... She didn't respond (granted, it was late and I said I wanted to sleep on Skype)
I have a feeling I need to recover immediately or she already lost interest. Thoughts?
I guess we could walk around the city as she herself suggested yesterday. So I take it, a hug when we meet and then just converse while we walk around. I don't even know about places, only a karaoke bar that she have been to already, so I guess I'll keep it brief the first time. Or simple, rather. And then just be a gentleman.
@shindoku21, I would give her some time to respond, cause its easy to fear the worst and it have only been a day. Let's hope she replies sooner rather than later. Just don't come off as being desperate.
@shindoku21, I would give her some time to respond, cause its easy to fear the worst and it have only been a day. Let's hope she replies sooner rather than later. Just don't come off as being desperate.
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